Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E360 Andrew Santino On Fall Of Logan Paul & Kanye, Ex-Girlfriends, Bobby Lee VS George

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00:00:30.480 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

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00:01:00.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

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00:01:42.140 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast,

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00:02:10.480 Scam Goddess!

00:02:12.320 No one's going to let Kanye back in.

00:02:13.780 You want to know why he went too far, bro?

00:02:15.360 Because he likes Hitler?

00:02:16.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:02:17.800 Wait, you're Syrian?

00:02:18.820 I'm a Syrian.

00:02:19.580 Where would your family be?

00:02:20.740 Iraq.

00:02:21.880 Oh, I got to wrap this up. 0.98

00:02:24.460 Nobody wants to see ugly people do almost anything, 1.00

00:02:26.500 let alone slobbing all over each other. 1.00

00:02:28.880 I imagine having too big of a f**k is a disadvantage. 0.99

00:02:31.580 It's not that bad. 0.99

00:02:32.420 I mean, get the f**k up. 0.97

00:02:42.400 As a little pre-show banter, 0.98

00:02:45.280 I want to tell everyone in the audience right now,

00:02:46.760 we just shot the Wiz Khalifa episode.

00:02:48.920 Logan Paul is on Neptune right now. 0.64

00:02:51.840 This kid is not going to be able to do s**t. 1.00

00:02:54.100 He's useless. 1.00

00:02:55.320 He handed me a really strong joint. 0.99

00:02:58.060 Called Khalifa Kush 0.94

00:02:59.780 That he's doing with Mia Khalifa

00:03:01.940 The ex-porn star

00:03:03.420 But she's so much more than that now 0.99

00:03:05.260 Let me just say that

00:03:06.220 And I want to say this too

00:03:08.440 She is more than that

00:03:10.320 She's turned now into a wide net 1.00

00:03:12.900 Mainstream personality

00:03:14.200 But I'm not DMing you Mia

00:03:16.940 For any specific reason

00:03:18.000 Other than I want you on the show

00:03:19.360 So can you open the

00:03:20.920 I feel like she probably sees me pop in 0.99

00:03:23.920 She's like oh this is the scumbag that dated Lana 0.99

00:03:25.780 I just want you to come on the show 1.00

00:03:28.840 Because we really need female guests

00:03:30.720 So me and Khalifa, if you see this clip 1.00

00:03:32.340 We would love to have a powerful 1.00

00:03:34.540 Female 1.00

00:03:35.740 A powerful independent female 1.00

00:03:38.760 Guest on the show and pick her brain 1.00

00:03:40.900 About her current direction and trajectory of life

00:03:42.700 That's it

00:03:43.140 I think we lost our leverage

00:03:47.080 I think we lost our leverage

00:03:48.280 When we 1.00

00:03:50.540 Promoted Khalifa Kush

00:03:52.720 On the last episode and now this episode

00:03:55.160 Like our one sticking point

00:03:57.140 That like helps us get guests

00:03:59.540 See like I said maybe just for this episode

00:04:02.140 Me and George will handle it

00:04:03.240 Let me finish this thought

00:04:04.900 Like even Andrew

00:04:08.280 I'm sure you're only here because you have something to promote

00:04:10.080 House party 0.96

00:04:11.200 Liar 0.88

00:04:12.500 He likes the house 1.00

00:04:15.060 We're going to help you promote your shit 1.00

00:04:18.120 We will 1.00

00:04:18.720 She can come on and talk about other stuff that she has to promote

00:04:21.860 She's a business girl

00:04:23.880 And by the way, she was recommended to me that we have her on.

00:04:27.760 I think she would be a great guest.

00:04:29.080 Are you kidding me?

00:04:29.520 She'd be fantastic. 0.99

00:04:30.620 You'd get five plus million views.

00:04:32.600 Are you, how are you feeling right now? 1.00

00:04:35.780 I'm fucking high as shit. 1.00

00:04:37.480 And I'll tell you why. 1.00

00:04:38.740 Because the Khalifa Kush. 0.95

00:04:41.280 Well, now you just did what you said you weren't going to do again.

00:04:43.580 And he doubled down.

00:04:44.320 If you can describe your current feeling of life based on like a symbolism.

00:04:51.960 Like, do you feel like you're in an active volcano?

00:04:54.520 I feel like you've been putting a microwave.

00:04:55.900 My upper lip is sweating.

00:04:59.100 The inner part of my mustache is beating.

00:05:03.820 We should probably bring our guest on.

00:05:05.480 Yeah, yeah, actually.

00:05:06.400 Our guest today is one of the major faces of comedy.

00:05:09.860 You've seen him on endless podcasts and on TV.

00:05:13.660 And Dave on 5FX.

00:05:15.620 He has a new movie coming out, House Party, January 13th.

00:05:19.180 It's Gino Santino.

00:05:20.800 Andrew Santino

00:05:21.940 Welcome

00:05:22.300 Welcome to Impulse

00:05:24.220 What's up brother?

00:05:26.140 Welcome

00:05:26.440 Thanks Andrew

00:05:27.920 We're all putting on headphones

00:05:29.080 Do you like to do that?

00:05:31.720 I'm gonna put it on

00:05:32.320 I'm gonna put on some headphones

00:05:33.160 Do you wear them on your

00:05:34.040 I'm also

00:05:34.540 Also

00:05:35.040 Also

00:05:35.540 January 13th

00:05:36.420 I didn't know that was the date of the movie

00:05:37.600 I really didn't know that

00:05:38.500 But I'll take it 1.00

00:05:39.420 We'll promote your shit 1.00

00:05:40.200 No no no 1.00

00:05:40.600 I like that

00:05:41.040 I just didn't know that was the date

00:05:41.980 I'm proud

00:05:42.440 I'm proud that you guys got told

00:05:44.480 I didn't know

00:05:45.040 They didn't film me in

00:05:46.360 I'm the only white in the movie 0.98

00:05:47.840 I was just making sure

00:05:49.400 You know there is a movie

00:05:50.660 though right no no i do i do but i'm the only white they got they had to get one white that

00:05:55.020 was in the contract you were the token white guy right yeah i think warner brothers was like gotta

00:05:58.080 get a white so isn't that crazy how it's reversed bro yo think about it yep the the pendulum swung

00:06:05.080 so far too many whites yes they're like we have too many but no no look at the show opposite too 0.95

00:06:10.780 many whites well you're not one of us i know don't try to be one of us pal i'm sorry which 0.97

00:06:14.840 one are you i'm a syrian a kid that walked out on your best friend wait you're syrian i'm a syrian 0.62

00:06:20.660 Not Syrian.

00:06:21.400 Don't do that. 1.00

00:06:22.420 I'm Assyrian. 0.96

00:06:23.420 You're just Assyrian man? 1.00

00:06:24.700 One single Syrian?

00:06:25.460 Nope, I'm an Assyrian man.

00:06:27.080 It's ancient Babylonian.

00:06:28.620 I'm old.

00:06:29.320 We don't even have a country anymore.

00:06:30.540 We're kind of dispersed.

00:06:31.500 So where would your family be?

00:06:33.120 Iraq. 1.00

00:06:34.240 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:06:36.560 I got to wrap this up. 1.00

00:06:39.080 I got to get the fuck out of here. 0.87

00:06:41.700 I appreciate for having me, dude. 0.63

00:06:43.360 I can't.

00:06:44.000 This is nuts.

00:06:45.620 No, thanks.

00:06:46.380 Wait, are you a little cautious right now?

00:06:50.360 for a second i was like are you a little racist are you a bigot is that what's going on no but

00:06:56.120 do you know about what happened in this very room with that man in this very yeah we talked a little

00:07:02.360 bit off the air a little bit about this and my best friend bobby lee who i do a podcast with bad

00:07:06.400 friends he assaulted you and i called he called me moments ago and i told him that you were putting

00:07:13.660 together a team of attorneys to yeah a few of them yeah and you should could you be my documentary

00:07:17.980 i'm gonna be i'm i'm thinking i'm gonna be brave next week really come out and talk about it i

00:07:25.340 don't know man no honestly and i said this again off stream but we'll say this here uh it had

00:07:31.280 nothing to do with him it had nothing to do with my friends i was going through things and it was

00:07:34.660 a learning curve can you say what you were going through or no no see you're giving him the lob 0.83

00:07:38.200 that i gave him he's gonna break out into some serious shit at the wrong time i don't want to 0.89

00:07:41.420 walk on you bro so but can i can you can break out of serious stuff as long as you're okay with 0.96

00:07:44.940 me making fun of it a little bit.

00:07:46.080 No, no, no.

00:07:46.520 I'm totally used to that now,

00:07:48.080 thanks to your friend.

00:07:48.960 Yeah, well.

00:07:50.000 Well, you know,

00:07:50.560 it's also,

00:07:51.000 everybody comes up to me now

00:07:51.900 on the street,

00:07:52.320 they're like,

00:07:52.580 yo, dude,

00:07:52.920 and by the way, bro,

00:07:53.680 sorry about that Bobby Lee thing.

00:07:55.300 And I was like, bro,

00:07:55.960 this is because,

00:07:56.700 it's Island Boys and Bobby Lee.

00:07:58.380 This is what I'm known for.

00:07:59.440 The Island Boys clip was funny.

00:08:01.500 Oh, you crushed that.

00:08:02.620 That was very funny to me, man.

00:08:04.460 Yeah.

00:08:04.920 Are those guys okay?

00:08:06.040 No.

00:08:07.280 No, they aren't.

00:08:07.980 And by the way,

00:08:08.480 they could use the advice

00:08:09.320 that you gave them

00:08:09.820 that made them walk off.

00:08:11.020 Listen, listen, listen. 0.90

00:08:11.780 Save that money.

00:08:12.660 Wasn't that what you said?

00:08:13.360 You said save that money.

00:08:14.340 Sell the diamonds.

00:08:15.060 I'll tell you what I tell everybody that daps me up about that.

00:08:18.340 I don't like to talk ill about people.

00:08:21.840 My parents taught me about life. 0.99

00:08:23.660 So I'm not going to sit there and judge them and shit on them. 0.99

00:08:26.300 In the moment, I got a little aggravated, 0.99

00:08:27.980 and so I was kind of pressing them a little bit.

00:08:29.620 I actually regret it because that's not my characteristics.

00:08:32.160 I don't like making people feel bad.

00:08:33.860 I don't think you said anything bad.

00:08:34.980 I agree with you.

00:08:35.640 I think you were just saying maybe put a couple bucks away.

00:08:38.860 Just a few.

00:08:39.560 Maybe they didn't like the way you worded it

00:08:42.140 But I don't think it had ill intent

00:08:43.580 It gave him a loving place

00:08:45.380 I like you so much more than Bobby 1.00

00:08:48.620 And you haven't touched my dick one time 1.00

00:08:51.220 Or shoved your balls in my face 1.00

00:08:53.960 I promise you I won't touch your dick 1.00

00:08:55.420 I can promise you that 1.00

00:08:56.740 I'm not a big fan of Assyrian dicks 1.00

00:08:58.180 You are missing out 1.00

00:09:00.180 If you were Iranian man I'd be grabbing your cock right now 1.00

00:09:02.320 I'd be throwing it down my throat 1.00

00:09:02.980 Well he's not quite sure

00:09:03.840 Because Assyria kind of dispersed

00:09:05.580 He could be either bro 0.60

00:09:07.820 Okay, so now you just entered my documentary. 1.00

00:09:09.480 You're racist. 0.97

00:09:11.260 Wait a minute. 0.99

00:09:12.060 Just us two?

00:09:12.740 Did he get none of this?

00:09:13.400 No, he pays me, so he can't be.

00:09:15.500 No, so you're not cautious about anything.

00:09:17.780 That's what Mike said before that giant tangent.

00:09:20.940 But you're not cautious about anything. 0.99

00:09:22.160 You're just going to say what the fuck you want. 0.99

00:09:23.540 Yeah, I feel like because I'm a comedian, 0.99

00:09:26.400 if you don't understand my tone,

00:09:28.920 if people are listening and they don't get that we're joking, 0.91

00:09:30.660 like me and Bobby make a lot of fucked up jokes on the show. 0.96

00:09:33.000 We're comedians. 0.98

00:09:33.860 It's my job is to make jokes.

00:09:35.340 if you think that what I'm saying might be serious

00:09:38.120 that's on you 100% on you

00:09:39.680 that's my perspective on comedy as a whole

00:09:42.400 is like also watch

00:09:44.120 my special on Netflix January 10th 1.00

00:09:45.700 we told you we would promote your shit 1.00

00:09:48.360 wow January is a hot month for you 1.00

00:09:49.780 no but let me tell you something I did want to come on this show

00:09:51.480 beyond the fact that I wanted people to watch my special on Netflix

00:09:54.100 January 10th

00:09:55.360 but since I met you

00:09:57.880 I wanted to come on the show

00:09:58.740 I met you in real life for the first time at

00:10:01.760 the outdoor comedy show

00:10:04.180 you came to uh why can't i think of the name my you were there dude yes i can't remember the name

00:10:08.880 of the show but i met you in your jeep then and i'd said oh yeah with theo were you there with

00:10:13.800 theo or somebody i don't know who you're with who'd you go with but anyway i was like oh yeah

00:10:17.460 i do want to do that dude show i want to go on that show and we've talked online before and so

00:10:20.900 i was like no i do want to come over here and do it and then bobby said he did it and assaulted you

00:10:25.260 and i saw it and i'm first of all i am sorry for his behavior but it's this is it's not it's not

00:10:32.140 that crazy for a 51-year-old to do that

00:10:34.160 kind of stuff. Especially not in Hollywood. That's a very

00:10:36.180 common thing. That's kind of what those guys do.

00:10:37.900 Once they hit 50, they're going to grab an Assyrian boy. 1.00

00:10:39.940 How do you think I got in this seat? I know. Trust me. 1.00

00:10:42.480 Trust me. I get it.

00:10:43.620 Did you know Bobby was 51? No.

00:10:46.180 Wow. His skin is because of his skin. 0.89

00:10:48.180 He's 51? Remember what his skin is? 0.99

00:10:49.820 His back skin is like a baby's bottom.

00:10:51.980 It's beautiful. Asian people, they grow 1.00

00:10:53.940 beautifully. What the

00:10:56.040 fuck? I'm going to let you sit with that. Have you seen a lot? 1.00

00:10:58.060 I'm going to let you sit with that for a little bit. Wait, wait, so is he

00:10:59.940 allowed to get away with that because he's a comedian?

00:11:01.400 Well I'm still trying 0.99

00:11:02.840 So sometimes I can get fucked up 0.99

00:11:04.020 No no no 0.99

00:11:04.360 But what he said again

00:11:05.380 None of his stuff

00:11:06.120 Comes from a bad place

00:11:07.120 No it does

00:11:07.660 Don't speak for me

00:11:08.280 Oh

00:11:08.540 Is he allowed to say that

00:11:10.780 Because he's a comedian

00:11:11.460 Yes and no 0.96

00:11:13.340 I mean I'm going to hit him 0.86

00:11:14.380 As the podcast goes on 1.00

00:11:15.620 You're going to hit him

00:11:16.280 No no no 0.98

00:11:16.900 Like hit him with stuff 0.98

00:11:17.960 Hit him with stuff 0.99

00:11:19.100 You have to start low

00:11:19.980 You have to start low

00:11:21.320 They're on drugs

00:11:22.800 I am so sorry about that

00:11:24.000 I can tell

00:11:24.360 Hold on

00:11:25.280 So do you think

00:11:27.360 George could get cancelled

00:11:28.200 For what he just said

00:11:29.140 Is he good or not

00:11:30.300 No you have to have

00:11:31.120 a career to be canceled i don't i don't have it's more the fact that what he said isn't that

00:11:36.080 offensive because asians do grow well beautifully beautifully bro you'll get canceled by someone

00:11:41.500 then all of a sudden elon musk will buy that company and all of a sudden you're back you know

00:11:45.720 what i'm saying like the world is such a circus that like dude we talked about this in the last

00:11:53.080 show balenciaga had little kids in bondage gear bro sitting on top of a court document that said

00:11:59.020 Sex trafficking is not legal

00:12:01.320 They're going to be cancelled

00:12:03.300 100% cancelled

00:12:04.520 Until the news cycle changes 0.99

00:12:07.060 Or until they put out some really good shit 0.99

00:12:08.820 Exactly 0.99

00:12:09.400 When the spring 2023 shit drops 0.93

00:12:12.400 People are going to be like 0.98

00:12:12.960 But I'll give you this

00:12:14.000 Nobody

00:12:15.040 No one's going to let Kanye back in

00:12:17.380 You don't think so

00:12:18.720 No man I don't think so

00:12:20.040 I think you went a little too far

00:12:21.940 It was just like a

00:12:22.700 It was a little too far

00:12:24.060 Just a little bit 0.98

00:12:26.100 He went pretty fucking far man 0.97

00:12:28.080 No, I think that he put himself in a... 0.98

00:12:30.980 And I believe this to be true.

00:12:32.660 I don't think Kanye believes any of that stuff.

00:12:36.180 In my heart, I think this is all...

00:12:38.440 A game for him.

00:12:39.200 Yeah, it was a game.

00:12:39.900 I think he went too far, and he knows he's too deep,

00:12:43.040 and he painted himself in a corner. 0.99

00:12:44.820 And now he goes, well, if I go fucking bonkers, 0.99

00:12:47.380 if I go fucking nuts, 1.00

00:12:49.240 if I lose my mind and do crazy shit in front of people... 1.00

00:12:51.560 People talk about it. 0.99

00:12:52.340 Yeah, and then it'll also be a way for me to go,

00:12:54.700 I told you guys I was sick, which he did. 0.99

00:12:56.880 He said he has fucking issues 0.99

00:12:58.660 So it'll be almost on us 1.00

00:13:00.420 This is my biggest beef 1.00

00:13:02.220 CNN and all these cocksuckers 1.00

00:13:03.860 They're like he's sick 1.00

00:13:05.360 Something's wrong

00:13:06.260 Well then why are you putting him on the news 0.99

00:13:07.560 Why are you fucking showing him 1.00

00:13:09.780 That's such bullshit 1.00

00:13:11.160 This guy's sick 1.00

00:13:13.460 Let's go watch him say fucking stuff 1.00

00:13:15.180 I know you're asking the question 0.99

00:13:17.880 It's a tale as old as time

00:13:19.800 Dirty laundry pays the bills

00:13:20.840 It's on them and what he's doing is

00:13:22.720 If you keep going really deep into the woods

00:13:24.580 At some point whose fault is it

00:13:26.540 I feel ashamed because I invited him on this podcast.

00:13:30.140 No, you should.

00:13:30.800 Everybody should talk.

00:13:31.860 No, he didn't.

00:13:32.340 No, he said no. 0.92

00:13:33.160 Yeah, but this was prior to him being Jewish.

00:13:35.920 No, I'm 7% Jewish.

00:13:38.260 That's why.

00:13:39.120 Yeah, that's why he knew.

00:13:40.320 Yeah, that's true. 1.00

00:13:41.120 He's like, I'm not messing with that Jewish Paul kid. 1.00

00:13:43.260 Holy fuck. 1.00

00:13:43.800 Yo, but do you want to know why he went too far, bro? 1.00

00:13:47.000 Honestly. 0.57

00:13:48.280 Because he likes Hitler?

00:13:49.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:50.700 It's a big no-no.

00:13:51.680 Is that the reason, Mike?

00:13:52.860 It's a big no-no.

00:13:53.940 Wait, he said he liked Hitler?

00:13:55.460 Oh, George, come on

00:13:56.720 No, I'm not saying this just to be that one awkward guy

00:13:59.380 I don't like listening to drama

00:14:00.940 I really don't

00:14:02.160 Yeah, but this is unavoidable

00:14:03.540 No, it is, but like, I just

00:14:04.960 You know the world is in a bad place when Alex Jones, the guy that denied school shootings

00:14:09.400 Is telling Kanye to chill out

00:14:11.700 George, I agree

00:14:13.420 I agree

00:14:14.180 That's crazy

00:14:14.780 The dude that was like

00:14:15.720 I don't understand

00:14:16.560 Sandy Hook is fake and they're all crisis actors

00:14:18.980 And he's the one being like, Kanye, come on, dog

00:14:21.300 Yeah, chill

00:14:21.720 That is batshit

00:14:24.380 That's when you know 0.99

00:14:24.960 that's when you know we're living in the upside down world this is fucking stranger things he 0.96

00:14:29.200 didn't also he didn't say he likes hitler he said he said he respects no no he said there's a lot of 0.90

00:14:34.920 things that i love about hitler clip that mad o's no i know clip that clip that mad o's the only 0.85

00:14:43.580 issue with this is like by this by the time this episode fucking comes out he'll have said 50 000 0.99

00:14:47.540 other things but the good thing for kanye is the only good thing that motherfucker's at rock bottom 1.00

00:14:53.700 Like the Nazis 1.00

00:14:55.260 When you roll with the Nazis 0.78

00:14:56.720 You have reached 1.00

00:14:58.280 You know mass fucking 0.99

00:15:00.600 Critical mass 0.99

00:15:01.900 It's a wrap for you bro

00:15:03.300 Like there's no further down

00:15:04.480 You can go 0.98

00:15:04.840 And the fucked up thing about it is 0.97

00:15:06.820 He somehow still has 0.97

00:15:08.880 Like a group of people online

00:15:09.920 That are just like

00:15:10.640 You know man

00:15:11.380 Like 0.93

00:15:11.720 You're gonna convince a couple suckers 0.99

00:15:13.720 You're gonna get a couple suckers 1.00

00:15:14.700 You could say crazy shit 1.00

00:15:15.780 Someone's gonna go 1.00

00:15:16.560 Yeah

00:15:16.880 I don't know

00:15:17.600 Maybe

00:15:17.980 Someone's gonna do that

00:15:19.080 That's gonna happen

00:15:20.140 But the majority of people 0.98

00:15:21.080 Are 98%

00:15:22.860 Yeah the guys

00:15:23.380 It's sad

00:15:24.220 I hope

00:15:24.800 And I don't

00:15:25.240 And I mean this

00:15:25.900 We're supposed to be having

00:15:26.960 A fun conversation

00:15:27.800 But I hope

00:15:28.740 As a fan of that guy

00:15:29.640 For so many years

00:15:30.620 Forever

00:15:30.960 That he doesn't

00:15:31.880 Do something to himself

00:15:32.900 To hurt himself

00:15:33.700 That's the one thing

00:15:34.800 I'm the most concerned about

00:15:35.540 Here's my question

00:15:36.020 I think he loves himself

00:15:36.800 Too much to do that

00:15:37.680 I know dude

00:15:38.540 But he's dangerous

00:15:39.180 He's in a dangerously weird place

00:15:40.820 I don't know

00:15:41.360 It's weird

00:15:41.840 Why isn't any family member

00:15:42.840 Stepping in

00:15:43.160 Because they're all dead

00:15:44.560 Really?

00:15:45.660 Well his mom is dead

00:15:47.040 He was the most important person 1.00

00:15:48.000 In his fucking world 1.00

00:15:48.940 He lost his wife 1.00

00:15:50.580 And his children

00:15:51.260 Who does he

00:15:52.080 I mean

00:15:52.380 I'm sure he's got

00:15:53.380 people around him i don't know him on a personal level but i don't know man who's gonna step in

00:15:56.760 and everybody's using each other too like you look at you look at the reason why he's saying 0.98

00:16:00.940 what he's saying like he's now been radicalized by the right and and i'm not i don't give a fuck 0.95

00:16:05.300 about right i don't give a fuck about that at all but what i'm saying is he has attached himself to 0.99

00:16:09.020 that machine jones fuentes fucking fox all that shit gavin mcginnis or whatever all of it bro and 0.99

00:16:16.400 now and now they see him as a cash cow they're like yo if we have kanye on he'll come on he's 1.00

00:16:21.940 spitting all this rhetoric he's going to talk the way that we like to hear him talk he's going to

00:16:25.720 fuel the hate and we're going to get clicks off of course so they're just going to keep having

00:16:28.820 money there but the main question is where is people that's what i want to know too when is

00:16:32.240 when is this going to get fixed like this dude if you if you got out of hand would you be genuine

00:16:37.140 i'm being on i'm being a real question because of your look at who you are to these people that 0.93

00:16:42.240 are around right now if you got fucked up and out of hand like that who do you think would come first 0.95

00:16:46.600 To check you 0.99

00:16:47.120 In your crew

00:16:48.120 Well you know

00:16:48.820 Who?

00:16:49.720 Him

00:16:50.000 Like hard

00:16:51.080 You'd really do it

00:16:52.820 You'd check him hard

00:16:53.500 I'm the no guy

00:16:54.300 Would you?

00:16:55.060 Yeah he would too

00:16:55.620 He would too

00:16:56.300 I would do it in a more loving way

00:16:58.160 He would do it in a more aggressive way 1.00

00:16:59.520 I'll smack the fuck out of him 1.00

00:17:00.000 Right 1.00

00:17:00.240 You'd come at him for real

00:17:01.380 Which is actually how I respond

00:17:02.620 Like I need

00:17:03.500 Yes 0.83

00:17:03.760 Which is why I said him

00:17:05.100 That's a real friend

00:17:06.160 Yeah I mean

00:17:06.700 You need a real

00:17:07.340 But I mean

00:17:08.460 The idea that you can have people around you

00:17:10.620 Right

00:17:10.820 Because everybody has friends

00:17:11.820 Everybody has friends

00:17:12.860 But somebody that'll actually check you 1.00

00:17:14.580 When you do some bonkers shit 0.99

00:17:15.620 That isn't going to support you 1.00

00:17:16.560 through your nonsense sometimes somebody needs to be like buddy so in a really unrelatable way

00:17:21.380 when i have been watching kanye and his antics as someone who has been down a slightly

00:17:27.040 similar path ish and sure in the form of self-sabotage yeah i know for a fact he he only

00:17:34.740 has yes men around him i know no minute or no man it's not not no he doesn't he doesn't have 0.94

00:17:40.580 he doesn't have real fucking friends who check him when she hits the fan or when he has some 0.89

00:17:45.680 crazy idea in his mind that he wants to vocalize like sad it's it is sad anyways i want to move 0.99

00:17:50.680 on i want to talk about weed yeah yeah let's talk about some weed well i think it's a i think it's 0.98

00:17:54.660 a relevant topic i walked in man it was it was heavy heavy heavy with whiz khalifa that's fucking

00:17:58.820 khalifa you smoke i do sometimes this is why i want to talk about it yeah i do do you have a 0.68

00:18:03.880 back and forth with it i do i actually i do i smoked weed for 20 some odd years i started when

00:18:09.420 i was like 14 or 15 years old and i smoked pretty consistently for like a high majority of my youth

00:18:14.160 and then you know i just now i'm in my late 30s i'll be 40 this year and i feel like i i just hit

00:18:20.020 a weird i don't know i hit like a weird divot in my in in my relationship with weed where i was

00:18:25.500 like i don't like it um i think i wasn't getting the the i wasn't enjoying um what i did i wasn't

00:18:35.020 enjoying my time when i was high if that means anything like it wasn't benefiting me were you

00:18:39.260 paranoid no it just wasn't benefiting i feel like it was almost a way it was a waste of my personal

00:18:43.500 time like had it been benefiting you yeah creatively i used to love smoking pot and writing 0.98

00:18:47.900 and yeah that's where i would come up like i read this article yesterday about a woman's clit never 0.97

00:18:52.760 stops growing uh forever for the rest of time until they die their clit continues i know that's 1.00

00:18:58.200 a fact so if you're like 102 year old lady you just fucking you got a massive fucking clit dude 1.00

00:19:03.840 you got a big old fucking clit so do you think that aids but what i was gonna say was i used 1.00

00:19:09.360 to read stuff like that get high and then write for like 20 minutes just about a big clit 1.00

00:19:13.200 and now I just 0.98

00:19:15.220 when I would get stoned in this

00:19:16.680 in my current frame of mind

00:19:18.820 or age range

00:19:19.820 it just didn't

00:19:20.800 I was like I don't feel like

00:19:21.720 writing and working on stuff

00:19:22.740 but I used to like love

00:19:23.780 reading something

00:19:24.700 and then writing

00:19:25.380 and then trying to find

00:19:26.660 the bit within the bit

00:19:27.660 within the bit

00:19:28.240 but it just didn't benefit me

00:19:29.240 in this current state

00:19:30.740 what if you instead of

00:19:31.900 I like mushrooms a lot

00:19:32.940 yeah

00:19:33.420 yeah love mushrooms

00:19:34.860 big big fan of mushrooms

00:19:36.280 in fact articles are coming out now

00:19:37.880 saying how safe

00:19:38.720 and beneficial they are

00:19:40.340 and you said it exactly

00:19:41.340 like if you had the whole finger out

00:19:42.680 and everything

00:19:42.940 Do the finger, do the finger.

00:19:44.760 Psilocybin has been proven by science

00:19:46.460 to be the safest recreational substance.

00:19:48.380 We got the same finger.

00:19:49.560 Oh, you're from Chicago, yeah.

00:19:51.340 Chicago.

00:19:51.860 I'm Italian and Irish.

00:19:52.860 What are you?

00:19:53.200 You're Italian?

00:19:53.940 I'm Italian and Irish as well.

00:19:54.880 Yeah, Santino is my last name.

00:19:56.680 Wow.

00:19:57.080 You didn't think that was Irish, huh?

00:19:58.140 Mick Santino?

00:19:59.520 I got a little German too,

00:20:01.740 but I haven't been bragging as much about that.

00:20:03.120 Yeah, you put that one away.

00:20:04.620 Put that one to the side.

00:20:05.380 I put it with the Balenciaga jacket in the bottom drawer,

00:20:07.500 to be honest with you.

00:20:08.320 When you were in Chicago,

00:20:09.160 did you ever do any of the improv scene out there?

00:20:10.620 no i started i started comedy here in california i moved here when i was uh 21 years old why from

00:20:17.120 school to do it i went to arizona state and then as soon as i got out i came right here i got enough

00:20:21.800 money to do stand-up yeah i broke up with my girlfriend i got enough money she tried to kill 0.81

00:20:25.660 me she threw a knife at my face when i was oh shit yeah no way yeah so i got out so that was

00:20:30.640 good and then i loaded up in u-haul and i moved to long beach and then up to here and i've been 0.93

00:20:33.880 here since did you just telling jokes huh yeah man i down the coast yeah comedy for a long time

00:20:38.260 and then i started acting i wanted to say something to wiz i never said i i didn't want to be in this

00:20:43.500 moment with you guys but uh i did punked in 2011 or something like that and we punked him 0.89

00:20:51.480 no way but it blew it up in our fucking face and you know it was wild rest in peace but it was mac 0.93

00:20:57.140 miller's episode oh shit yeah mac mac was the one that wanted to get wiz because he like he like 0.99

00:21:02.100 looked up to him he loved him so much oh my god and we tried to get him at a bank uh this is back 0.79

00:21:08.040 before weed was legal here fully like it is it's kind of funny and he had a truck filled with 0.90

00:21:12.620 fucking weed and we pulled him over at a bank uh that his boy was trying to get money out of the 0.98

00:21:16.280 atm and we had fucking cops rushing and we busted it like it was a the dea was busting him because 1.00

00:21:21.560 we thought he was a kingpin for the mexican cartel it was all this shit but it never went over because 0.99

00:21:26.480 whiz didn't believe a second of it dude no way well you know you talk to him for an hour he's 0.98

00:21:30.560 very keen he's very oh my god so smart he knew but mac didn't know that he was gonna you know

00:21:36.460 we even had told Miller we were like I think this bit's gonna get got like I think what was it like

00:21:41.660 how did he it was I think the whole organization was like there was a robbery there was a robbery

00:21:47.140 in place in the bank the cops like mistook them for no no there was a robbery in place at the bank

00:21:51.760 that the boy was going his homie was getting money out of the ATM at it was almost like a

00:21:55.600 coincidence of errors it was like cops were already there and he was like what are the cops

00:21:59.000 for he's like I don't know but there was a dude with a gun robbing the bank inside okay so Mac

00:22:03.480 wanted to do that bit and we were kind of like

00:22:05.440 I don't know man but he was like

00:22:07.280 we gotta get Wiz we gotta get him this way he'll have 0.98

00:22:09.320 so much fucking weed in the truck 0.98

00:22:10.620 you gotta get him he'll have bags filled with weed 0.99

00:22:13.280 but sure enough they did I mean they had like duffel bags 0.99

00:22:15.400 oh my god filled with fucking weed in there 0.99

00:22:17.140 but the bit never went through because 1.00

00:22:19.100 I just you could tell Wiz knew

00:22:21.220 right away no way he knew right

00:22:23.280 away something was up also maybe some

00:22:25.240 of his boys were like not you know like when 0.99

00:22:27.160 your friends are acting a little strange like what the fuck 0.99

00:22:29.120 yeah yeah so somebody 0.99

00:22:31.160 else gave it away somebody might have tipped

00:22:33.080 him off a little bit but we tried to run that with him but i did but i started acting then

00:22:37.240 punk was like the beginning for me and then i did what were you gonna tell him i just wanted to tell

00:22:42.040 him if he remembered for calling us out because he called us out man oh what'd he say he said am

00:22:46.260 i being punked no even worse man he would like he would like look around he goes where's the cameras 0.99

00:22:50.900 he was yelling out he's like this is bullshit and we had a gang of fake cops and real lapd and he 0.99

00:22:58.100 was calling them out too he's like fake cop fake cop fake cop he is so smart you should have posted 0.99

00:23:03.220 i would have loved to watch that i don't know what they ever did i mean mtv had the footage

00:23:06.360 they put might have put it up online for a while but well you ain't gonna see it now it's only 0.60

00:23:09.560 ridiculousness on fucking loop show over and over again we just had deer to gone have you ever met 0.89

00:23:16.000 him before no i never no i never met him but i know his cousin i know his cousin drama yeah no 0.98

00:23:20.440 drama logan said he's bland okay who drama whoa well boy oh he reached out to us he reached out

00:23:26.700 a group chat to both of us afterwards

00:23:28.380 That's because all the people that watched the show

00:23:30.780 were DMing him and they're like

00:23:32.580 Yo, Logan said you're bland, you're bland, bland

00:23:34.420 Vanilla, bland

00:23:35.120 Yeah, in context it was a little different

00:23:36.900 And so, yeah, he didn't like it

00:23:39.080 I don't know, he just thought he was

00:23:42.080 No, he texted us and he said, yo, boys

00:23:44.060 You did a great job on the show today

00:23:45.940 Even though Logan called me bland

00:23:47.760 LMAO or something like that

00:23:49.520 That's not that bad, that's not that bad 1.00

00:23:50.540 He's gonna shake my ass, he's gonna beat my ass 1.00

00:23:53.440 He's gonna come fuck you up 1.00

00:23:55.340 Yeah, 100%. 1.00

00:23:55.960 You better get back in the gym.

00:23:57.140 I know, man. 1.00

00:23:57.800 You better get back in the fucking gym, dude. 1.00

00:24:00.560 Drama's about 135. 1.00

00:24:02.480 He'll fuck you up. 1.00

00:24:03.240 Yeah, but he's tall. 1.00

00:24:03.540 He has reach.

00:24:04.260 No, dude, no.

00:24:05.400 No.

00:24:05.920 No.

00:24:06.900 Like, he's fought him already.

00:24:08.280 It's not even go there.

00:24:09.160 You know what I mean?

00:24:09.900 You probably meet a lot of celebs doing your thing.

00:24:11.880 Because you're in movies, too.

00:24:12.880 You're not just in the comedy scene.

00:24:13.860 I do.

00:24:14.340 I did a movie with Kevin Hart. 0.94

00:24:16.200 Kevin's probably one of the biggest global superstars that I've ever fucking, like, hung

00:24:20.140 out with and is a down-to-earth, chill dude.

00:24:22.840 is a very chill for how famous he is is very low-key i agree like like like after we shot the

00:24:29.360 movie i said i was going to be in philly and he was going to be in philly doing a thing for the

00:24:33.360 eagles and was like um you know where are you going to be performing i was at this theater and

00:24:37.640 he said i'll come by and he did he showed up and then he brought me over to when he did the helium

00:24:43.080 which is a club he was doing it with a buddy sick just to hang out he's a very like i don't know

00:24:47.160 it's it's cool to see a dude that's that fucking famous yeah that is still what i would imagine to

00:24:52.540 be the dude he was before he was crazy things yeah you know i mean i don't know but he was 0.99

00:24:57.060 he's a very legit dude but yeah he has a good heart and i meet some pieces of shit sure yeah 0.94

00:25:02.020 like who exactly there's people i meet that that are like you think they're gonna be dope and they 1.00

00:25:09.760 turn out to be dickheads like bobby lee lee is a piece of shit was it scotty pippen bro did you 0.99

00:25:16.100 ever meet scotty pippen i met scotty pippen one time what happened what happened he was a nice 1.00

00:25:20.400 guy he had a big dick damn sorry dude big dick that dick is so but you know about this i don't 1.00

00:25:25.200 know there i'll tell i'll give you i'll give you a wild one uh okay fucking i shot a show in vegas 1.00

00:25:31.780 like i don't know seven years ago with malin ackerman and tom arnold and rick fox and john 0.94

00:25:38.400 sally and uh i don't know if you know anything about john sally you know who john sally was 0.98

00:25:43.080 he was an nba player from years ago he was on inside the nba for a long time but this fucking 0.99

00:25:47.900 dude had like the joke was that john sally had his big old dick and i'm sure the fucking internet's 0.99

00:25:52.740 probably heard of this before but you know i was like how real could this really be and rick fox 0.99

00:25:58.460 had said something to me about how he heard this story that they back in the day when shorts were 1.00

00:26:03.220 short in the nba that that no shit he couldn't wear them because the tip of his cock the tip of 0.99

00:26:09.320 his cock would go to the bottom and he didn't like wearing uh what are those like you know like 1.00

00:26:12.920 athletic shorts underneath because it would cut the circulation off of his cock he could feel it 1.00

00:26:17.240 in his neck so andrew so getting dunked on with this dude's dick in your face just smoking you 1.00

00:26:22.480 what do you even do with something like that fuck chicks yeah yeah you fuck a lot of chicks i guess 1.00

00:26:28.200 i mean i don't know what he did maybe he stared at took photos of i imagine having too big of a 1.00

00:26:31.840 dick is a disadvantage 100 too too too big is bad it's not that bad i mean you got a nice dick but 1.00

00:26:39.220 It's not that big, dude 1.00

00:26:40.680 That was

00:26:45.160 That was good

00:26:47.020 I was just making a simple statement

00:26:49.020 I don't understand what's so funny about it

00:26:50.260 Are you a grower or a hundred percent 1.00

00:26:54.320 If you looked at my dick right now 1.00

00:26:56.240 Well, it's never like 0.99

00:26:57.660 Supposedly it's not that bad

00:27:00.220 When it's in its chill state

00:27:02.740 But when I look at it in its chill state 0.99

00:27:04.540 I'm just like, damn 0.98

00:27:05.480 I have a micropenis, bro 0.99

00:27:07.780 Are you a grower?

00:27:08.600 I'm exactly what he's growing

00:27:10.580 What about you 1.00

00:27:11.180 I have a good looking dick 1.00

00:27:13.240 He's a chode 1.00

00:27:15.700 I'm like on the opposite 1.00

00:27:16.920 No he's got a tuna can cock 0.99

00:27:18.540 It's massive but it's all whiff 1.00

00:27:20.500 My shit bro 1.00

00:27:21.780 It's like if somebody took his dick 1.00

00:27:24.980 And it was Play-Doh and they went like this with it 1.00

00:27:26.780 For like 20 minutes

00:27:27.980 So long

00:27:29.940 So long

00:27:32.260 And he's got like a Gatorade bottle

00:27:35.540 Like this

00:27:37.340 It's like a prime bottle

00:27:38.700 I like that

00:27:39.440 He can spin it around in circles

00:27:40.600 I want to clarify

00:27:42.080 Is that the girth of a prime bottle? 1.00

00:27:43.520 Is your cock? 1.00

00:27:44.220 My dick is longer than that 1.00

00:27:45.580 And I'm 1.00

00:27:46.220 Shame on both of you

00:27:47.100 I've flashed you guys enough

00:27:48.240 To represent me

00:27:48.940 Yeah it was alright

00:27:49.640 One time 1.00

00:27:50.140 George started swinging his dick around 1.00

00:27:51.920 Like a helicopter 1.00

00:27:53.220 Type motion

00:27:54.020 I love that

00:27:54.520 I swear to god

00:27:55.200 I thought if he started going fast enough

00:27:56.480 He'd take off

00:27:57.080 Let's get some momentum 1.00

00:27:58.460 When Bobby Lee put his dick in my face 1.00

00:28:00.720 I knew if I did the same 1.00

00:28:01.660 He'd die

00:28:02.200 The thing

00:28:03.280 The reason that he does stuff like that 1.00

00:28:05.420 Is because his dick is so small 1.00

00:28:06.720 He knows that it's not going to bug anybody 1.00

00:28:08.600 No, no

00:28:09.300 But I will admit

00:28:10.100 I will admit

00:28:10.920 It's tiny

00:28:11.420 No, his wife

00:28:12.160 Or ex

00:28:13.080 His ex-girlfriend

00:28:14.140 That weird relationship

00:28:15.100 They have

00:28:15.760 Also have a podcast

00:28:16.660 By the way 0.98

00:28:17.240 That's going to fucking explode 0.99

00:28:19.220 That can't not explode 0.99

00:28:20.560 I'll tell you what 0.99

00:28:21.080 As long as she keeps hitting them 1.00

00:28:22.960 I think they're going to keep doing it 1.00

00:28:24.040 She beats them 1.00

00:28:24.760 She beats them bad 1.00

00:28:25.580 No way 1.00

00:28:25.920 I've seen that

00:28:26.360 I've walked in on her 1.00

00:28:26.920 Beating the shit out of me 1.00

00:28:28.040 And he sticks her in 1.00

00:28:28.400 Because the girl threw the knife at you

00:28:29.680 And you left

00:28:30.540 Did you think about staying

00:28:31.660 After she launched the katana at you?

00:28:33.440 There's something about 1.00

00:28:34.100 When a woman throws something at you 1.00

00:28:35.360 that it turns you on a little bit. 1.00

00:28:36.820 It depends what it is.

00:28:37.720 You definitely didn't leave.

00:28:38.380 It was a knife.

00:28:40.300 That's on the crazier end of the spectrum for me.

00:28:42.780 Yeah, it was too much, 1.00

00:28:43.580 but I also thought this bitch loves me. 1.00

00:28:46.200 There was a moment where you're like, 1.00

00:28:47.280 this bitch threw a weapon at me. 1.00

00:28:48.420 She fucking loves me. 1.00

00:28:49.540 I've had that happen. 1.00

00:28:50.160 She was mad I was leaving,

00:28:51.780 but it was never meant to be.

00:28:54.000 I knew I was like,

00:28:55.060 you can't come to California with me.

00:28:56.960 I'm chasing some dream. 1.00

00:28:58.600 I was like, you got to be fucking... 0.99

00:29:00.240 But it wasn't because of the knife throwing, though. 0.99

00:29:02.280 How long did you do it?

00:29:03.400 Just a year and a half or something.

00:29:05.300 a year and a half gave her the ability to throw a what kind of knife was like a butcher knife or a

00:29:09.780 butter knife it was like it was like a uh like a cheap kitchen cutting knife like a cut cone knife

00:29:14.300 a chef's knife oh i mean yeah but mine but i will say dude it end over ended well it was like

00:29:18.480 so that when you first said it that was my question in my head i how good was that throw

00:29:23.940 and did it like stick in the wall she's athletic she ran she ran tracks she's she's got she had 0.86

00:29:28.560 good aim holy shit hit the it hit the chair that i was sitting on and i just sat for like a solid 0.97

00:29:33.840 minute and i was like are you fucking serious right now and she started bawling oh wow i just 1.00

00:29:39.880 love you so much and then we fucked and then we fucked like animals no you fucking did not 1.00

00:29:44.120 no you did not you gotta fuck after they throw something at you well like throw a vibe don't 1.00

00:29:49.000 throw a knife no you fuck no you then you knife her then you fuck her like she threw a knife at 1.00

00:29:53.480 you so she tried to stick you but you stuck her in that you never heard that phrase i'm gonna 1.00

00:29:56.820 fuck you like you threw a weapon at me yeah that's a big east that started on the east coast 1.00

00:30:00.900 I remember hearing that when I was a kid. 1.00

00:30:02.920 You fucked her like she threw a knife at your head. 1.00

00:30:05.040 I'm from Chicago, and I've never had a girl throw a knife at me. 1.00

00:30:07.460 Yeah, because you've never had a girlfriend that has that capability, bro. 1.00

00:30:10.000 I've had so many girls try to stab me. 0.99

00:30:11.940 Bro, I had this girl, Morgan. 1.00

00:30:13.520 I dated her. 0.55

00:30:14.280 She was this little Jewish-American princess, bro.

00:30:16.160 She drove a Jeep Liberty. 0.98

00:30:17.560 And under that Jeep-

00:30:18.140 They all have Jeep Liberty.

00:30:19.020 Bro, 100%. 0.99

00:30:20.160 Under that Jeep Liberty seat, one time, we got in a fucking dispute, 0.99

00:30:23.520 a verbal disagreement. 0.99

00:30:24.900 We were driving down the Boston Post Road.

00:30:26.700 We had just left the bar. 1.00

00:30:28.040 And I was like, no, you know, fuck you. 1.00

00:30:29.820 Pull over. 1.00

00:30:30.220 I'm getting the fuck out 0.68

00:30:31.120 For some reason 0.98

00:30:31.560 I was in the back seat

00:30:32.360 There was no one

00:30:32.840 In the front seat

00:30:33.380 I still haven't figured out

00:30:34.120 Why that was happening

00:30:35.040 But I was like 0.90

00:30:35.840 Let me the fuck out 0.97

00:30:36.820 She said 0.99

00:30:37.220 Oh yeah

00:30:37.660 You wanna get out 0.99

00:30:38.360 You wanna get the fuck out 1.00

00:30:39.320 Then she got out 1.00

00:30:40.400 And so I got out 1.00

00:30:41.160 But she went under 1.00

00:30:41.940 Her driver's seat 1.00

00:30:42.640 And pulled a butcher knife out 1.00

00:30:44.140 Nice

00:30:44.640 In the middle

00:30:45.720 Of the Boston Post Road

00:30:46.900 And same situation

00:30:48.240 We argued for another

00:30:49.240 20 minutes

00:30:49.700 Went home and furiously 1.00

00:30:50.700 Fucked each other 0.99

00:30:51.300 No way 0.99

00:30:51.860 100%

00:30:52.720 Yes 1.00

00:30:53.080 Bro if you're gonna fuck 1.00

00:30:54.300 Are you guys joking 1.00

00:30:55.200 Like the raccoon shit 1.00

00:30:56.660 Like you're surprised 1.00

00:30:57.040 Bro I'm gonna be honest

00:30:58.440 With you guys

00:30:58.900 I am a little surprised

00:30:59.940 A crazy girl?

00:31:01.400 No, I've never had any ever once. 0.59

00:31:03.980 Like, yelling to me is even toxic enough.

00:31:07.860 You've never used recent bloodshed as lubricant? 0.99

00:31:10.920 What the fuck are you guys going on about? 0.99

00:31:13.480 How do you not? 1.00

00:31:14.860 Come on, dude.

00:31:15.960 Wait, hold on.

00:31:16.460 That one.

00:31:18.820 No, hold on.

00:31:19.940 You know what I'm talking about?

00:31:20.860 Yeah, dude.

00:31:21.380 Sometimes you're punching each other.

00:31:23.080 There's a bloody nose and you wipe your nose. 0.99

00:31:25.320 Yo, you're fucking with me, right? 1.00

00:31:26.840 I'm dead serious. 1.00

00:31:28.160 I'm fucking around. 0.99

00:31:29.220 But he's on one 1.00

00:31:30.540 We gotta get you a crazy girl 1.00

00:31:33.880 Are you single 1.00

00:31:34.380 Now actually my girlfriend was Dave's new girl in the show

00:31:37.880 She was on the show Dave

00:31:39.360 Dave Thomas

00:31:40.040 Yeah Dave Thomas

00:31:41.240 That's my sister

00:31:44.080 That's my sister and my dad

00:31:45.080 So wait a minute 0.98

00:31:46.800 Dave's girlfriend

00:31:47.880 So in the show Dave

00:31:49.420 That scene where he's having

00:31:51.100 Which I'm shooting right now

00:31:52.260 Comes out next year

00:31:53.280 Congratulations

00:31:54.060 Great show

00:31:54.940 And she was very excited

00:31:57.360 Kanye's not a fan of our show

00:31:58.580 and she's 1.00

00:31:59.460 too much Jewish stuff 1.00

00:32:00.200 the whole show

00:32:02.000 what is it

00:32:02.880 what's her name 0.95

00:32:03.440 Shauna Della Rica 1.00

00:32:04.500 but she was 0.92

00:32:05.600 the girl

00:32:07.420 that reenacted

00:32:08.360 the scene

00:32:08.720 with his

00:32:09.220 old girlfriend

00:32:09.960 in the studio

00:32:10.740 where he took her

00:32:11.700 from like

00:32:12.040 outside of a club

00:32:12.800 you may know her

00:32:13.400 as girl one

00:32:14.360 girl one

00:32:15.480 I think she might

00:32:16.660 have been girl six

00:32:17.380 she reenacted

00:32:18.380 the scene of the

00:32:19.000 wait say it again

00:32:19.500 so season two

00:32:20.440 episode one or two

00:32:22.040 where he gets a girl

00:32:23.180 from outside of a club

00:32:24.100 and he's trying

00:32:25.380 to reenact

00:32:26.000 that love scene

00:32:26.600 that he used to do

00:32:27.080 with his girlfriend

00:32:27.620 in the studio

00:32:28.600 where they're singing

00:32:29.120 on autotone

00:32:29.720 and that's your girlfriend

00:32:31.100 in real life

00:32:31.640 and did they make out

00:32:32.340 on the show

00:32:32.660 were you chill with that

00:32:33.660 yes because it's

00:32:34.860 a professional thing

00:32:35.620 sure

00:32:36.220 I don't like to be

00:32:38.180 like awkward

00:32:38.860 because that's her dream

00:32:39.640 bro I don't want to

00:32:40.200 get in the way of her dream

00:32:40.940 right 1.00

00:32:41.180 but she kissed 1.00

00:32:41.940 little dicky 1.00

00:32:42.380 and that kind of 0.99

00:32:42.760 fucked me up a little bit 0.98

00:32:43.380 if it was anybody else 0.99

00:32:44.220 if it was you

00:32:44.980 I'd be like

00:32:45.340 way to go babe

00:32:45.960 but it was like

00:32:46.420 a guy named

00:32:47.020 little dicky

00:32:47.900 and I'm like great 1.00

00:32:48.540 wait till she kisses 1.00

00:32:49.740 big dicky 1.00

00:32:50.740 go to commercial 0.61

00:32:53.200 go to commercial

00:32:53.800 go to commercial 0.96

00:32:54.360 what if she

00:32:55.300 what if she has to do 1.00

00:32:56.240 a kissing scene 0.99

00:32:56.880 With that basketball player

00:32:58.040 Jason Lally

00:32:58.860 Oh yeah

00:33:00.100 No I always told her

00:33:01.040 If you're gonna cheat on me 1.00

00:33:01.820 He better be bigger dick than me 1.00

00:33:03.360 And better looking than me 1.00

00:33:04.240 Like don't do it 0.98

00:33:05.060 For fucking no reason 0.98

00:33:06.000 But wait a minute 1.00

00:33:06.600 If she

00:33:07.060 Let's say this

00:33:07.800 Let's say she's like 0.90

00:33:08.620 Babe I have a scene 1.00

00:33:09.580 With

00:33:10.520 I have a scene with

00:33:11.480 Bradley Cooper

00:33:12.620 And I have to be naked

00:33:14.680 And I have to be like

00:33:15.560 I don't like naked scenes

00:33:16.440 And I'll tell you why

00:33:16.900 Not for me

00:33:17.260 So you tell her

00:33:17.880 No your dream

00:33:18.480 Her dream is good 0.99

00:33:19.320 Up until nudity 0.99

00:33:20.340 And then her dream is no good

00:33:21.380 You have a limit on her dream

00:33:22.940 As a partner 1.00

00:33:23.480 I disgusted with her 0.86

00:33:24.560 You need to wake up 1.00

00:33:25.140 From that dream babe 1.00

00:33:25.920 you can't ride brad i could never tell her what she could do i'm not her fucking dad so i just 0.99

00:33:31.060 explained to her i'm like i feel that if we have kids i wouldn't want them to have like a scene 1.00

00:33:36.240 where you're naked getting fucked by some dude so you're saying you want you want to marry an 0.96

00:33:39.860 actress but if they did a nude nude scene at any point it's out no it's not out it's because it's 0.98

00:33:45.220 her choice and i still love her so if she did it like it's her decision can't have kids with her

00:33:49.840 though can't have kids not not no no i can have kids but they have to be blind they can't they

00:33:54.700 Oh, how could you even do that?

00:33:56.580 Is he allowed to say that because he's a comedian?

00:33:58.360 No.

00:33:58.620 No, I think anyone can say that.

00:33:59.300 I'd get canceled.

00:34:00.000 No, no, no.

00:34:00.740 No, but also, so this is interesting, though. 0.98

00:34:02.800 What if it's just tits out? 1.00

00:34:04.160 Can she have tits out? 1.00

00:34:05.380 So. 1.00

00:34:06.040 Because what if it's one tit?

00:34:08.480 Again, it's all her decision.

00:34:10.040 It's all her decision.

00:34:10.960 I just wouldn't love it.

00:34:12.140 But also, secretly, I do because she's so beautiful that I'm like, yeah, that's my girl.

00:34:15.800 So there you go.

00:34:16.660 So, yeah, it's her decision.

00:34:18.200 So let her ride Bradley Cooper, dude.

00:34:19.920 Well, if it's Bradley Cooper, I'd ride Bradley Cooper. 0.98

00:34:21.900 So why the fuck would I get in the way of that? 0.98

00:34:23.820 It's Bradley Cooper. 0.99

00:34:24.500 I think that is tough because every nude scene, every nude scene is always making the women

00:34:29.280 are more vulnerable.

00:34:30.300 The dude never looks not, you know what I mean?

00:34:32.540 Like, oh, dude's always going to look good in those scenes.

00:34:34.380 So, you know, this, your girlfriend, if she has to ride someone at some point, you got 0.94

00:34:37.660 to let her do it.

00:34:38.200 I would. 0.63

00:34:38.500 But the only thing that fucks me up is not the scene.

00:34:39.960 It's the fact that I know it's going to take so many different shots.

00:34:42.460 So they're going to be there for eight hours.

00:34:43.800 I don't love that.

00:34:44.520 Yeah.

00:34:44.620 What if they crush on each other? 0.57

00:34:45.620 One of those shots is going to be.

00:34:46.540 If they crush on each other. 0.88

00:34:47.360 What if they have some chemistry?

00:34:48.280 Well, you know, I can't, I don't get involved with her chemistry, her love, all that stuff.

00:34:53.060 I can't do that

00:34:53.680 Because if I sat around 1.00

00:34:54.420 Worried about that shit 1.00

00:34:55.380 Then I'm not in control 1.00

00:34:56.380 Of my own life

00:34:57.000 I have to trust her

00:34:58.060 And know that this is

00:34:58.640 A professional game

00:34:59.120 So you're telling me 1.00

00:34:59.980 That if your girl 1.00

00:35:01.140 Was crushing on some dude 0.99

00:35:02.320 That she was working with 0.97

00:35:03.380 On set

00:35:04.020 And she came home

00:35:05.240 And she was

00:35:05.820 Maybe 0.80

00:35:06.700 A little cold shoulder

00:35:08.300 Cold shoulder

00:35:09.580 Towards you

00:35:10.600 Yeah

00:35:10.860 And

00:35:11.700 Excuse me

00:35:12.560 And 1.00

00:35:13.620 And she wasn't loving on you

00:35:15.100 The same way 0.52

00:35:15.660 Yeah

00:35:15.880 And maybe she's developing 0.90

00:35:16.640 Feelings for this other guy

00:35:17.620 It's my fear

00:35:18.100 It's actually a big fear of mine

00:35:19.220 You're telling me

00:35:19.640 You'd be

00:35:19.920 Chill with that 1.00

00:35:20.940 No no no

00:35:21.460 We'd break up

00:35:22.080 No, if you have feelings for somebody

00:35:25.180 What if she did this scene with Brad

00:35:26.960 And she turned on so much 0.98

00:35:28.940 That when she came home, it was the best sex you'd ever had 0.98

00:35:31.360 And she screamed out Bradley's name? 0.96

00:35:32.700 No, and she was just like, babe, this gets me back

00:35:35.040 Oh, that's actually a very realistic question

00:35:37.200 And I'm not saying this again

00:35:39.320 I swear on everything

00:35:40.780 Belle and I

00:35:42.900 Four years into it 0.88

00:35:44.040 We have sex like three times a day 0.66

00:35:46.300 How old is she? 0.93

00:35:48.820 I'm 29 0.86

00:35:49.400 She's 24 0.62

00:35:51.380 Three times a day 1.00

00:35:53.280 That's impressive 1.00

00:35:53.980 She is

00:35:54.700 My best friend bro 0.92

00:35:56.060 Like when I fell in love with her

00:35:57.120 Like it wasn't like

00:35:58.020 I meant to fall in love with her 1.00

00:35:59.320 It was a girl I slept with

00:36:00.260 And I was like 0.99

00:36:00.660 My god this girl is the most

00:36:01.780 Brilliant

00:36:02.240 Beautiful woman

00:36:03.420 Sweetheart man 1.00

00:36:04.140 You're a fucking sweetheart 1.00

00:36:04.720 No I love that woman 1.00

00:36:05.620 Like with all my heart 0.97

00:36:06.120 Three times a day

00:36:07.140 God bless

00:36:08.320 Yeah no but

00:36:08.960 But also like

00:36:10.760 I cut out pornography 0.99

00:36:11.680 I don't jerk off 0.98

00:36:12.780 Like there's a lot of steps

00:36:14.200 That I have to do 0.98

00:36:14.720 Bro if you jerked off 1.00

00:36:15.560 And you were fucking 1.00

00:36:16.300 Three times a day 1.00

00:36:17.000 You'd have a real problem

00:36:18.140 I'd actually sit you down

00:36:19.100 Yeah that'd be sad 1.00

00:36:19.600 You ever jerk off with her 1.00

00:36:20.760 Yeah 1.00

00:36:21.440 You know, I relate to what George is saying a lot

00:36:24.320 Because I personally

00:36:25.840 If a girl that I was talking to ever had a past of getting naked 1.00

00:36:29.340 I would never talk to her 0.99

00:36:30.880 I would not be able to handle myself 0.99

00:36:32.400 Mike, you dated the number one porn star in the world 0.89

00:36:34.880 I think that was probably the joke

00:36:36.220 Nope, it wasn't

00:36:37.360 That's the old me

00:36:38.160 I've changed

00:36:38.860 I'm a different person

00:36:40.660 Would you ever date someone in porn again?

00:36:45.700 I don't know

00:36:46.640 I don't have an answer to that question

00:36:49.100 I still thoroughly enjoy the space

00:36:50.880 Yeah

00:36:51.480 From an exploratory and sexual standpoint

00:36:53.660 He's out

00:36:54.220 So you're in

00:36:54.800 One of them the other night told me that I had a BWC 1.00

00:36:57.080 Big white cock 0.99

00:36:58.500 Yeah and I'd never heard that before 0.99

00:36:59.580 This doesn't have the ring that BBC does

00:37:01.500 It doesn't

00:37:01.780 And I also knew she was lying to me

00:37:03.020 BBC just sounds so nice

00:37:04.660 BBC

00:37:05.120 It's so great

00:37:06.240 The BWC

00:37:07.380 W is a bad letter 0.99

00:37:08.440 What do you think about interracial porn? 0.91

00:37:10.060 Are you a viewer? 1.00

00:37:11.500 I watch it all

00:37:12.160 Yeah

00:37:12.660 I'll take all of it in

00:37:13.680 I'm not discriminatory

00:37:14.960 All of it?

00:37:15.800 Yeah

00:37:16.040 All of it

00:37:17.000 Name a thing that I won't watch

00:37:18.280 Have you ever watched

00:37:19.160 A hentai octopus 1.00

00:37:20.100 Fuck a small Asian woman 1.00

00:37:21.260 Into a death state 1.00

00:37:22.600 You think I've never seen 0.92

00:37:23.140 An overwatch porn before

00:37:24.340 Wow 1.00

00:37:24.860 To get out of your fucking mind 1.00

00:37:26.700 You think I haven't seen 1.00

00:37:27.340 Anime porn before 0.99

00:37:28.380 What's your favorite porn then 0.97

00:37:29.560 What's my favorite porn 0.97

00:37:31.300 Favorite porn 0.54

00:37:31.740 Like top tier

00:37:32.380 When two people just argue 0.99

00:37:35.200 And they never fuck 0.96

00:37:36.040 And they just fight 0.99

00:37:36.780 They just

00:37:37.040 Oh that's good 0.88

00:37:37.580 Scream at each other 0.90

00:37:38.220 That's called the impulsive podcast

00:37:39.360 I love it

00:37:39.980 This is it

00:37:41.120 What's my favorite porn to watch 0.73

00:37:43.160 Probably solo stuff 0.94

00:37:45.000 Oh you like

00:37:45.860 Oh you're a solo guy

00:37:47.020 I just like to sit there and see

00:37:50.000 I just like to sit there and see them doing their thing

00:37:52.640 Because I'm doing my thing

00:37:53.500 It's almost like we're in the parallel universe

00:37:55.520 Right here we're in the same place 1.00

00:37:57.120 Because when two people are fucking or group of people are fucking 0.99

00:37:59.720 They're all thinking about other different things 1.00

00:38:01.160 When a solo is a solo and I'm a solo

00:38:03.060 It's almost like we're connecting on this universal level

00:38:05.940 We're both solo

00:38:06.640 We're not thinking about anybody else but ourselves

00:38:08.720 I like that

00:38:10.500 You just made that so romantic

00:38:13.060 What's wrong with you guys today? 0.99

00:38:15.080 The next time that I jerk off, I'm going to be thinking about you. 0.99

00:38:18.040 Think about me. 1.00

00:38:19.660 You jerk off thinking about me watching a solo. 0.99

00:38:22.360 Yeah, I'm going to do that, bro. 0.99

00:38:23.780 I probably won't.

00:38:25.240 Give it a whirl. 0.97

00:38:26.360 Nah, I'll probably watch interracial, bro. 0.99

00:38:29.020 You know what I'm saying? 0.76

00:38:29.300 What's more important about less than what you watch, to me, is what's your positioning?

00:38:33.840 What's your positioning when you watch?

00:38:35.660 Like sitting down?

00:38:37.500 Physically, what is your positioning?

00:38:39.340 Dude, this is actually a crazy question, and I have something that's very weird, and I've tried to do that locker room talk.

00:38:44.720 And talk to people

00:38:45.760 Nobody fucks with what I say 0.77

00:38:47.560 And I want to be vulnerable right now 0.98

00:38:49.560 I'm going to get it roasted for this

00:38:50.560 No we'll all tell our vulnerable position

00:38:52.400 Mike's a meanie weenie huh

00:38:56.980 Oh no he's going to walk off 1.00

00:38:58.880 Come on tell us how you jerk off 1.00

00:39:01.200 Come on babe 1.00

00:39:01.920 Get over here 1.00

00:39:03.400 Tell us your vulnerable positioning

00:39:06.300 Oh I actually can't wait to hear this

00:39:08.000 Let's take a guess at what he does

00:39:09.360 I think he sits crisscross applesauce like he did at Steve Aoki's house

00:39:12.800 On a yoga mat

00:39:13.800 with a small incense candle

00:39:16.100 like the one right there burning

00:39:17.260 and some like hauling oats on.

00:39:19.940 Ooh. 1.00

00:39:20.520 I think you jerk off doggy style. 1.00

00:39:21.860 I think you have one hand on the floor 1.00

00:39:23.020 on your knees. 1.00

00:39:24.660 I think you jerk off down. 1.00

00:39:26.060 You down at the floor. 0.99

00:39:26.740 That is probably...

00:39:27.860 I'm going to try that once.

00:39:28.820 Do you think...

00:39:29.460 Be honest. 1.00

00:39:29.880 Do I finger my asshole? 1.00

00:39:30.820 Asshole, yes. 1.00

00:39:31.560 No, bro. 1.00

00:39:32.220 I don't finger my asshole. 1.00

00:39:33.180 Do you believe that? 1.00

00:39:33.740 But I don't...

00:39:34.240 Yeah, did you see how he answered that?

00:39:35.820 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:39:36.540 Yo, yo, did you say... 0.99

00:39:37.380 I have nothing against anal licking. 0.99

00:39:39.620 I just don't like to go inside. 1.00

00:39:41.160 That's fucking... 1.00

00:39:41.900 Do you lick your own asshole? 1.00

00:39:42.380 I tried to once. 1.00

00:39:44.940 Flexible.

00:39:45.460 What do you think I'd do?

00:39:47.100 Dog.

00:39:48.060 Doggy style?

00:39:48.560 He said that. 0.57

00:39:48.960 Go on to the next one.

00:39:50.260 Something involving, well, this is probably the only time.

00:39:52.720 I don't know.

00:39:53.220 I don't care.

00:39:54.120 I don't want to hear you say it.

00:39:55.780 You know what?

00:39:56.200 Now I'm not going to tell you. 0.99

00:39:56.960 Because you just said you're not going to fucking care. 1.00

00:39:58.600 I was being vulnerable, and now you don't care about my jerking off stuff. 1.00

00:40:01.320 I'm personally not going to think about it and spew a vision of you jerking off. 1.00

00:40:05.460 Well, then fucking, I'll paint the picture. 1.00

00:40:07.180 Okay, so I don't like the cleanup section afterwards, right? 0.99

00:40:11.720 So you buy a nice fluffy blanket 1.00

00:40:14.080 Throw it over your dick 1.00

00:40:16.060 Use that nut in the blanket 1.00

00:40:18.220 Take it, throw it, wash it 1.00

00:40:20.300 Oh, you're a luxury kind of girl

00:40:22.020 I like candles, I play R&B music

00:40:24.880 So many steps

00:40:25.720 Yeah, of course

00:40:26.740 You bought a blanket?

00:40:28.360 Oh, a nice fluffy one

00:40:30.920 Like I needed an animal to die for it

00:40:33.340 Oh, okay, I understand

00:40:34.820 You would rather do

00:40:36.120 First of all, no one's a fan of the cleanup 1.00

00:40:38.500 Like there's no sick fuck in this room that sits there 0.99

00:40:40.760 And they're like, oh, I came on myself. 1.00

00:40:42.060 Let me play with it, George.

00:40:43.600 Well, slow down.

00:40:46.580 Some of us like playing, Mike. 0.90

00:40:48.920 Some of us like drawing squigglies.

00:40:51.820 No, but do you go on your, are you on your back?

00:40:54.140 I'm on my back.

00:40:54.800 You shoot right here?

00:40:55.240 Is this your target?

00:40:55.980 I'm as simple as it comes.

00:40:58.720 There it is.

00:40:59.280 I lay on my back and I collect, before I do the deed,

00:41:04.140 two small pulls of toilet paper.

00:41:07.120 Got it.

00:41:07.640 I fold them into one half and then one half.

00:41:09.880 one comes with me into the bed the other one sits like kind of the nightstand right i'll sit there

00:41:14.540 with my depending on how much anxiety or stress i have that day somewhere between semi-flaccid and 0.88

00:41:19.260 semi-erect penis because it's never really hard anymore i'm in my almost 40 i did heroin for 10 0.98

00:41:23.400 years so i'll sit there what a detour i'll do my best with my rubber band penis to uh make it do 0.99

00:41:29.400 what it does and uh i want it to land directly almost like a gymnastics routine you stay shooting 0.99

00:41:35.920 at it yes on this target toilet paper right now say i have some pent-up splooge right it's been

00:41:42.520 quite a while since i've done that gymnastics routine yeah maybe it shoots into my mouth in

00:41:47.080 my eye you know your face yeah have you guys ever hit your face yes i have no way i have you have

00:41:52.680 it's i've gotten like up to here like i've hit there was one here but i will look away yeah 0.99

00:41:57.720 you got you looked away in time well what do you mean in time oh the cum shot's pretty quick yeah 0.98

00:42:03.920 You're the one that says I'm going to come. 0.99

00:42:05.640 You know when you're going to come.

00:42:07.300 You have somebody else in the room.

00:42:09.000 You're going to come now, Michael.

00:42:11.060 No, I know exactly when I'm going to come.

00:42:14.060 Mike's the only guy that's blown away by when he comes.

00:42:17.240 Whoa, I had no idea I was about to come on myself.

00:42:21.400 That's not what I mean. 0.98

00:42:22.540 And lunatic. 0.87

00:42:23.060 That's not what I mean specifically. 0.96

00:42:24.280 What I mean is like.

00:42:25.360 Of course I looked away.

00:42:26.300 I looked away.

00:42:27.100 I knew I could feel the pressure was building.

00:42:29.700 I knew there was a lot coming out.

00:42:31.000 But what made you think like.

00:42:32.480 okay i don't want to no not that but like i there's no way i want to see this it almost

00:42:37.320 sounds ritualistic of you that you're just like oh it's about to happen are you ashamed of what

00:42:42.020 you're doing in that moment no he just doesn't want his face and you should be too i am i am

00:42:46.820 you shouldn't be wasting all of this goodness on yourself this to ourselves i'll tell you you

00:42:51.360 want in my vulnerable i'll give you vulnerable because that yours isn't that bad this is the

00:42:55.140 one i and i i don't do it as much anymore but i used to love it right the rock star slide this

00:42:59.800 this thing i love it it feel it's like tightening in your thighs it feels amazing i could see my

00:43:10.680 i got rockstar slide if i didn't have such bad knees i'd probably be doing it feels amazing

00:43:14.940 because something about the way you're positioned it feels like it's primal like our bodies were 0.97

00:43:19.200 supposed to like liver yeah like liver king yeah i feel like if you ever went fucking crazy and 0.99

00:43:24.580 started jerking off in public that's how you do 100 100 what's your what do you do i'm inspired 0.98

00:43:30.400 to be honest i want you to try it let me know when you do it let me know i tore my mcl but um 0.98

00:43:35.500 i know we'll do just lean on one just lean up put one up on something else you know that's 0.79

00:43:40.020 like contortion what's my this guy's flexible he can fucking do that i'm flexible you do yoga 0.99

00:43:44.020 i don't do yoga you've never done it i've done it but i don't really fuck with it oh you should 0.99

00:43:49.860 do you love it i think it's a ponzi scheme to be honest yeah i agree with that no that's a crazy 0.97

00:43:53.580 Madoff, I heard, was one of the people behind yoga.

00:43:56.040 Really?

00:43:56.440 That's what I've been told.

00:43:57.240 And FTX was behind yoga?

00:43:58.920 Oh, yeah.

00:43:59.460 And what's his name?

00:44:00.260 SPF.

00:44:00.780 Sam?

00:44:02.200 No, do you yoga?

00:44:04.340 Not anymore.

00:44:05.200 You got to do it.

00:44:06.300 No, why?

00:44:06.760 I swear to God, I live by it.

00:44:08.780 I broke my foot.

00:44:09.540 I fractured my back.

00:44:10.680 This is shocking to me.

00:44:11.620 Two years ago, I fractured my back.

00:44:13.300 Wow.

00:44:13.680 And I'm not kidding.

00:44:14.600 I was running.

00:44:15.220 I used to run, and then I would run to the gym.

00:44:17.980 I'd lift, and I'd run home.

00:44:19.020 I just enjoyed that cycle.

00:44:21.040 And then one time, I was running late at night from the gym,

00:44:23.500 and i didn't stretch and dude when you get near us you get near 40 you have you stretch more you 0.95

00:44:28.000 just do and then i didn't stretch when i left the gym like a fucking bozo and i was tight and then 0.93

00:44:32.900 i came down off of a curb that was higher than it normally is and my weight shifted to one side 0.98

00:44:37.960 i felt it immediately in my back and i was like holy fuck i was on the ground it was the weirdest

00:44:42.180 feeling so i i had a hairline fracture in my back and then i had a um i had a uh a herniated disc 0.91

00:44:48.520 whoa l4 l5 so i had sciatica for like fucking three months bro dude i tried everything it was 0.84

00:44:54.060 not well just because my muscles were just yeah but isn't that crazy like back in the day you 0.97

00:44:57.860 could like do a backflip off a cliff on it yeah now i'm an old fucking loser did you did does that 1.00

00:45:02.480 make you feel like a pussy no you know what you know what because i ran home still with the frat 1.00

00:45:06.820 i didn't know i had a hairline fracture in my back i just thought i fucked my back up because 1.00

00:45:10.600 i had fucked my back up before like playing basketball but i you know i'd gotten sports 0.82

00:45:14.640 injuries but never like that and then i tried everything dude and this is for people at home 0.94

00:45:19.440 if anybody has a fucking bad back i swear to god yoga and stretching 100 changed my girlfriend is 0.84

00:45:25.280 going through this right now did you ever have any like pinched nerve pain down your leg or did 0.99

00:45:28.740 it ever transfer yes that's sciatica that's what that is fucking way bro tell her to i mean i swear 0.58

00:45:32.760 i know it's yoga huh yo because because all yoga really is is is using your own body weight and 0.62

00:45:38.480 stretching that's really what it is and nobody does it nobody stretches everything you got to 0.91

00:45:43.180 do it everything are you well her back is fucked up like she feels pain in her left leg yeah and 0.99

00:45:47.760 are you guys still fucking yeah see you're making it worse in my house i gotta hear you're making 1.00

00:45:52.000 it worse she knows that she knows that every morning i wake up she's getting more herniated 1.00

00:45:56.860 discs because of you herniated dick herniated dicks it's your fault dude damn tell her to do 1.00

00:46:05.160 try some yoga see if it works i tried shit you can look up online and try it i'm telling you 1.00

00:46:08.500 It's not a Ponzi scheme. 0.98

00:46:09.620 It's legit.

00:46:11.500 I did it by myself.

00:46:13.200 You can do it at home.

00:46:14.000 Do you ever do goat yoga?

00:46:15.680 Never. 0.86

00:46:16.620 See, that's a scheme.

00:46:17.260 That's embarrassing.

00:46:17.800 That's a Ponzi scheme for sure.

00:46:18.360 Hot yoga? 1.00

00:46:19.040 That's for white girls. 1.00

00:46:20.700 Hot yoga? 1.00

00:46:21.560 I don't believe in that either. 1.00

00:46:22.540 That's also white girls. 1.00

00:46:23.340 Wow. 0.99

00:46:23.680 I just came up with a new injury, and I think I have it,

00:46:26.220 and I want to ask your opinion on it.

00:46:27.420 Is it mental?

00:46:28.260 No, this one's physical.

00:46:29.400 I already have every mental one.

00:46:30.740 I touch doorknobs like four times before I leave.

00:46:32.780 I flick on light switch.

00:46:33.860 No, I didn't touch light switch enough times.

00:46:35.500 My family's going to crash in a plane crash.

00:46:37.720 Did you get an OCD?

00:46:38.500 Did you get into a car accident when you were a kid?

00:46:40.140 Bro, I've been in every accident ever.

00:46:42.060 Like, I feel like you were in a baby seat.

00:46:43.320 He got into a car accident when he was a kid,

00:46:44.380 when he was a young kid, when he was an old kid.

00:46:46.340 You just bounced off inside the car.

00:46:48.460 Even in heroin.

00:46:49.480 Okay, so tell me what.

00:46:50.260 All right, ready?

00:46:51.380 I believe that in this current day and age,

00:46:54.920 I should be diagnosed with something called podcast neck.

00:46:59.140 I have been looking in that direction

00:47:00.800 while facing that direction for three hours.

00:47:04.140 Yeah.

00:47:04.440 And I need someone.

00:47:06.000 Like, if you called me from the door right now,

00:47:08.000 I wouldn't be able to look over to see who was there

00:47:09.700 Mike! Can't do it

00:47:11.720 Lift your head up

00:47:14.440 You do have a thick neck

00:47:15.300 You do have a thick neck 1.00

00:47:17.120 I've been shooting a ton of tests in my ass lately 1.00

00:47:20.180 Put your hands around his neck 1.00

00:47:21.760 Can you touch your hands both fingers around his neck 0.99

00:47:24.000 And then spit in his mouth 0.99

00:47:24.840 Call him a bad boy real fast 0.95

00:47:28.820 Who's a bad boy?

00:47:30.260 You got a favorite piece star that you watch

00:47:32.560 Do solo action?

00:47:34.020 No honestly dude I've never been committed

00:47:35.760 this is why and maybe i'm an old fuddy-duddy but like i don't understand only fans like much love

00:47:41.180 do your thing but i would never support it because i'm also like i don't want to follow

00:47:45.220 one person that much it was never an interest to me yeah i like that i just like watch what i like

00:47:49.680 to watch i don't know just think about it dude if there's ever a moment in life or in time when 0.70

00:47:54.020 you can be uh just kind of like fluid and what you're fucking with like in that moment it's that 0.76

00:47:59.100 moment like i don't want to go on and be like i wonder what my wife jenna jane i just threw jenna 0.95

00:48:03.640 jenna jameson yeah is doing today that's right or debbie does dallas but it's also funny because 0.89

00:48:08.500 like what the fuck i feel like it's almost yeah like there's some people that find it like it's 0.65

00:48:12.940 a relationship you're grounded huh i love la i like chicago where i'm from i'm gonna move to 0.98

00:48:17.720 new york for a little while nice great city like all three of those new york yeah my new york girl

00:48:21.860 we talked wait can we talk about shy city for a second i love chicago it's crazy because so much 0.77

00:48:26.440 because fucking yadav hitler's giving them a bad name i know we still got other hits coming out 0.94

00:48:30.760 We got good people from here. 0.98

00:48:32.240 So I want to ask you some Shy City.

00:48:34.060 That guy, he's good.

00:48:35.140 I want to ask you some Shy City-related questions.

00:48:37.620 Do you love Portillo's?

00:48:39.000 Yeah, it's one of the best places on planet Earth.

00:48:40.520 I'll drive there tonight.

00:48:41.640 If you wanted to go right now, I'll go to Orange County and go get it.

00:48:43.920 What's your order?

00:48:45.320 I get a combo, Italian beef and Italian sausage.

00:48:47.680 Okay, so a lot of people go and they just get a dog, but really, it's the Italian beef.

00:48:51.720 I go for the Italian beef, but if I'm really wanting to be a bad boy, sad boy, fat boy,

00:48:55.920 I won't eat all day.

00:48:56.960 I'll go down there, and I'll get the Italian sausage inside the Italian beef.

00:49:00.400 Oh my god

00:49:00.980 Dipped with hot and sweet peppers

00:49:02.700 And I'll get the cheesy fries 1.00

00:49:03.860 I'll get the fucking chocolate cake 1.00

00:49:05.440 Cake shake 1.00

00:49:06.040 Two cokes

00:49:06.760 The cake shake

00:49:07.400 Two cokes

00:49:07.760 Or the chocolate cake

00:49:08.480 I'll get it all

00:49:09.180 I'll get it 1.00

00:49:09.940 Fuck me up 1.00

00:49:10.760 I want to be in my car 1.00

00:49:12.420 Feeling sad for a while

00:49:13.860 Yeah you will

00:49:14.500 Make that drive back up to LA

00:49:16.320 Uh

00:49:16.800 Deep dish pizza

00:49:17.880 What's my

00:49:19.040 What's my verdict

00:49:19.740 Cause I don't need my pizza 1.00

00:49:20.940 With a fucking spoon 1.00

00:49:22.260 Oh you don't like deep dish 1.00

00:49:23.120 Get out of here

00:49:24.040 I'll tell you

00:49:24.560 I'm from New Haven Connecticut

00:49:25.660 The pizza capital

00:49:26.320 The United States

00:49:26.840 We've heard

00:49:27.300 We know Dave Portnoy

00:49:28.660 We've heard many many times

00:49:29.980 Here's the deal

00:49:31.060 We don't eat deep dish like that

00:49:33.020 It's not a thing

00:49:34.400 We like it once in a while

00:49:37.280 Because it's a fun bit

00:49:38.360 You know what we say

00:49:39.520 It's for you guys

00:49:40.660 When someone comes into Chicago

00:49:42.060 And they're like

00:49:42.460 I gotta get a deep dish

00:49:43.720 We have to take you to a place

00:49:45.800 We don't naturally go there

00:49:47.840 It's not our thing

00:49:49.280 It's more like

00:49:50.020 Chicago style

00:49:51.600 Real Chicago style pizza

00:49:52.580 It's called tavern pizza

00:49:53.520 I was gonna say yes

00:49:54.440 Pub pizza

00:49:55.200 My ex used to bring me to Watt

00:49:56.880 That's legit Chicago style

00:49:59.260 Old school pizza

00:50:00.300 In fact

00:50:00.680 If anybody wants to claim

00:50:01.600 Deep dish

00:50:01.980 It's Detroit

00:50:02.580 Because they do that big 1.00

00:50:03.560 Fat dumb fucking slices 1.00

00:50:05.860 We don't really do that shit 1.00

00:50:06.980 Au Cheval 0.99

00:50:07.700 What about Au Cheval?

00:50:09.800 Greatest burger

00:50:10.440 In the United States

00:50:11.280 Debatable

00:50:12.400 Yeah

00:50:12.860 I'll tell you 1.00

00:50:13.560 I'm going to talk some shit 0.99

00:50:14.620 Right now about LA 0.99

00:50:15.440 And the burger scene

00:50:16.160 It's like out of control now

00:50:17.380 Well you know my situation

00:50:18.360 There's a billion

00:50:19.080 What's that?

00:50:19.640 You know I'm a burger fanatic

00:50:21.120 Okay so let's talk then

00:50:22.160 Here's my beef

00:50:23.000 I get it

00:50:24.220 Beef

00:50:24.480 Yeah that's

00:50:24.980 Whoa

00:50:25.340 This segment's called

00:50:25.980 Here's my beef

00:50:26.500 Yeah

00:50:27.080 I'm up here

00:50:28.020 I'm lightning

00:50:28.540 I'm up there

00:50:29.100 All these burger shops 1.00

00:50:30.960 Fucking burgers she wrote 1.00

00:50:32.680 And blah blah blah 1.00

00:50:33.740 Whatever

00:50:33.980 You know them all

00:50:34.640 I'm not going to name all of them

00:50:35.280 Yep 0.99

00:50:35.420 Heavy handed

00:50:36.460 I get it

00:50:37.280 For the win

00:50:37.700 I get what they're doing

00:50:38.640 Yep

00:50:38.880 Why am I paying $30 for a cheeseburger

00:50:41.500 Yeah

00:50:41.620 Well it depends on the place

00:50:43.260 Nah dude

00:50:44.020 It's a

00:50:44.380 Cheeseburger

00:50:45.660 Yeah

00:50:46.320 I'm not paying $30

00:50:47.200 Bull

00:50:48.160 Why am I paying $30

00:50:49.600 It's

00:50:50.960 You're right 1.00

00:50:51.520 Bad shit 1.00

00:50:51.920 Fucking crazy 1.00

00:50:53.040 Well burgers she wrote for example 1.00

00:50:54.120 And it's also a smash burger

00:50:55.380 Yeah 0.99

00:50:55.980 You fucking smashed it 0.99

00:50:58.120 And then 1.00

00:50:58.460 Imagine your favorite meal 1.00

00:51:01.980 If you're fucking 1.00

00:51:02.700 You're like 1.00

00:51:03.020 I love this fusilli pasta

00:51:05.620 And they brought it

00:51:06.340 And they were like

00:51:06.720 There you go

00:51:07.460 $45

00:51:08.800 Your pub pizza in Chicago

00:51:11.280 They smashed it

00:51:12.480 $30

00:51:13.320 What's the reasoning for that?

00:51:15.380 It's Snake River Farms

00:51:16.420 American Wagyu

00:51:17.300 It's a bit more expensive

00:51:18.220 Supposedly it's not even more expensive

00:51:20.040 They can just say

00:51:20.820 Since it's American Wagyu

00:51:21.800 That it's more expensive

00:51:22.900 But I think they're getting

00:51:24.680 $16 for a double cheeseburger

00:51:27.300 at Burger Shiro

00:51:30.020 I have Burger Shiro

00:51:31.060 currently at

00:51:31.720 technically on my list

00:51:32.760 at number one

00:51:33.300 but actually

00:51:33.780 for the win

00:51:34.300 is better dude

00:51:35.000 here's the deal

00:51:35.560 I don't want to

00:51:36.880 I don't want to get 0.99

00:51:37.560 burger fries and a coke

00:51:38.600 and pay $30

00:51:39.140 I just I think it's 0.98

00:51:39.920 fucking rude 0.97

00:51:40.600 it's just rude 0.99

00:51:41.980 I don't understand

00:51:42.540 and they know 1.00

00:51:43.140 they're fucking us 1.00

00:51:43.620 and American Wagyu 1.00

00:51:44.420 by the way 1.00

00:51:44.900 fuck out of here 0.99

00:51:45.800 right 1.00

00:51:46.120 phony baloney

00:51:46.760 I know

00:51:47.200 do you know

00:51:47.680 the history of this

00:51:48.260 does anybody know this

00:51:48.980 I went to Japan

00:51:49.900 I ate

00:51:50.460 when you go to

00:51:51.340 southern Japan

00:51:51.820 you can get

00:51:53.080 real Wagyu beef 1.00

00:51:54.140 you can get real shit 0.99

00:51:54.960 and they'll tell you 1.00

00:51:55.960 I sat in this restaurant

00:51:56.740 with this with this chef and he told me he was like here's the deal many many years ago we made 0.98

00:52:01.920 a fucking deal with the the the cows from the wagyu province right from kobe province and they 0.91

00:52:07.960 they gave us a couple of cows right and and then they bred them here in america so that's why they 0.98

00:52:13.760 can't call them officially wagyu it has to be american wagyu so it's our version which is 0.98

00:52:17.780 basically just like a little bit nicer of a cow right it's not their shit like it won't throw a 0.99

00:52:23.520 knife at you will not just like a nice 1.00

00:52:25.560 but you could still fuck the shit out 1.00

00:52:27.040 no you can dude 1.00

00:52:29.460 that's how it gets so soft

00:52:30.840 that's why in Kobe that's what

00:52:33.680 they do they give them beer they dance with them 1.00

00:52:35.520 and they fuck them they kiss them to death 1.00

00:52:37.800 little Japanese guys 1.00

00:52:39.520 remember when Tommy Boy knocked over the cows 1.00

00:52:41.540 one of my favorite clips

00:52:43.420 cow pushing

00:52:43.960 why are all the burger places closed on Monday and Tuesdays

00:52:48.200 it's a high holiday

00:52:48.820 high holiday every Monday and Tuesday

00:52:51.680 I have no idea

00:52:53.600 I don't understand that

00:52:55.220 Every Monday and Tuesday for some reason 0.99

00:52:57.100 I really want a fucking burger but I can't get it from these guys 0.99

00:52:59.440 We should look into it 0.99

00:53:00.460 Well let's make up the conspiracy

00:53:02.340 What could it be

00:53:03.300 You know Carl's Jr. charged me $17

00:53:06.720 For a cheeseburger

00:53:08.460 Carl's Jr.

00:53:10.120 Why would you go there

00:53:11.480 Because I was hungry and desperate

00:53:13.180 It was like 3 o'clock in the morning

00:53:14.580 At that point you take the hunger pains

00:53:16.820 Can I ask you a question that's not food related

00:53:19.580 You go to bed hungry

00:53:21.060 you wake up skinny yeah that is true a girl told me that in college one time go to bed hungry wake 1.00

00:53:25.240 up skinny and i was like that's bullshit and i've tried it a few times i'm like that bitch is on 1.00

00:53:29.060 this like those girls had tricks i had a girlfriend in college she had great tricks because she was 1.00

00:53:34.820 like a dancer and she was like uh we all smoke and they eat cotton balls to like make themselves

00:53:39.960 feel full what yeah that was one of the tricks that one's odd that one's odd well because it

00:53:46.100 makes them feel it expands so the cigarette suppresses your appetite and then they would 0.95

00:53:49.580 put cotton balls in there so you just shit the cotton balls out no no they stay in there forever 1.00

00:53:53.440 like gum it never comes out you're gonna die with how many cotton balls do you think that girl has 0.98

00:53:57.380 in her stomach to this to this day this day how many i'm at 40 or 50 pounds yeah which is weird

00:54:04.020 because if they step on a scale it negates everything they were trying to do but at but 0.92

00:54:08.300 from the outside it looks like dirt fucking lumpy lumpy you know what they're saying i don't know 0.95

00:54:12.800 If you agree with this 0.99

00:54:13.600 Nothing tastes as good

00:54:15.320 You know 1.00

00:54:16.500 As pussy feels 0.99

00:54:17.600 Oh 0.99

00:54:18.140 Everyone said

00:54:20.140 Sound different

00:54:20.620 And all George thought

00:54:21.460 Was water burger shops

00:54:22.580 Close the money

00:54:23.320 Like I'm still sitting here

00:54:25.300 Wondering 0.99

00:54:25.880 What the fuck 0.99

00:54:26.900 Why 0.99

00:54:27.440 It doesn't make sense

00:54:28.480 I have Monday

00:54:29.240 Start of the week

00:54:29.980 I agree

00:54:30.340 I don't know what places

00:54:31.140 We're talking

00:54:31.500 But wait

00:54:31.720 What did you all say

00:54:32.500 What did you all say

00:54:33.240 What did you all say

00:54:33.260 Even true though

00:54:34.120 What do you mean

00:54:34.860 The phrase is

00:54:35.420 Nothing tastes as good

00:54:36.000 As skinny feels

00:54:36.880 Feels correct

00:54:37.540 That's what he was saying 1.00

00:54:38.080 What the fuck is that 0.99

00:54:38.680 Nothing tastes as good 1.00

00:54:39.220 As pussy feels 1.00

00:54:40.020 He said nothing 1.00

00:54:40.660 Tastes as good

00:54:41.100 As cotton balls

00:54:41.920 And I said

00:54:42.860 He wins

00:54:43.460 He wins 1.00

00:54:43.900 Cotton balls is right

00:54:44.780 Can I ask you a God's honest question?

00:54:46.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:54:46.880 Alright, so I'm

00:54:47.720 Man, I don't know

00:54:49.160 I got like a problem

00:54:50.020 I don't think I'm ever going to be married

00:54:51.360 Or have like a real girlfriend

00:54:52.500 Outside of the last one

00:54:53.420 That's not true

00:54:53.860 It is true, Andrew

00:54:55.140 It's so true

00:54:58.280 You said that with such honesty

00:54:59.380 He goes, no, it is, dude

00:55:00.300 That is fact

00:55:00.920 Because I like what he's about to say

00:55:02.520 Okay, so I want to

00:55:03.580 You don't even know what I was about to say

00:55:05.600 I have an idea

00:55:06.340 I'm not about to ask him about his wife

00:55:07.140 I'm not

00:55:07.960 About to what?

00:55:08.680 I'm not about to ask him about his wife 0.99

00:55:10.180 I thought you were asking him to be your wife

00:55:11.240 What's the honest question? 0.97

00:55:11.920 Oh, you want me to be your wife?

00:55:13.480 I'm just kidding.

00:55:14.200 No, no, stop.

00:55:14.880 Why are Burger Clays just closed on Monday Tuesday?

00:55:16.660 All right, so listen.

00:55:17.660 You make fun of me.

00:55:19.520 No, I don't know if that's the case because maybe I will at some point. 0.91

00:55:22.120 But as of lately, dude, I just, I suck at it, bro.

00:55:24.400 And I just don't have that kind of feel.

00:55:25.940 And also, I got to say this too.

00:55:28.200 This wasn't my question, but the idea of like intimacy,

00:55:31.500 like if I see him and his like girlfriend,

00:55:33.640 because they're not like normal, like PDA, they like moan.

00:55:36.360 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:55:37.540 When I see that, bro, like when I see people and they're like,

00:55:40.640 but what we're in love i'm like can you just like go be in love in a bedroom you know what i'm saying 0.98

00:55:46.340 like when i see that shit just makes have you ever been violently ill by the sight of someone 0.98

00:55:50.120 making out and just like tonguing each other down in public it depends on how good looking they are 0.99

00:55:54.200 well they're good looking but that's what i'm saying that's the scale if he's making out with

00:55:57.280 another beautiful person yeah they're both beautiful i don't why would i care but if it's 0.99

00:56:00.480 two uggos if it's two fucking uggos making out i want to see two fours all over each other got it 0.99

00:56:05.380 there's a scale if you're beautiful everybody wants to see you do hot shit nobody wants to 1.00

00:56:10.240 see ugly people do almost anything let alone slobbing all over each other that's just a fact 1.00

00:56:15.040 of life nobody wants to see uggos hooking up so if you're good looking yeah go for it go nuts i 0.96

00:56:20.680 heard i heard you guys ask if you could go to vegas with wiz and the response was very funny

00:56:26.680 there was like a big pause and he was like yeah yeah because a piece of you guys knew if he was

00:56:34.360 like yeah for real let's do it like for real let's do it not straight would you have gone no no why

00:56:39.440 You don't want to go? 0.98

00:56:39.920 Because we got busy shit. 0.99

00:56:40.840 I'm a homebody, dude. 1.00

00:56:41.680 Too busy.

00:56:42.140 Are you really a homebody boy?

00:56:43.480 Yeah, I'm an introvert. 1.00

00:56:44.320 You don't like to go out and do shit. 1.00

00:56:45.420 I like to solve the Rubik's Cube and watch Love is Blind. 0.99

00:56:48.080 Can you wreck this thing?

00:56:48.840 Can you ever get it or no?

00:56:50.020 We'll do it in two seconds.

00:56:50.860 Let's go.

00:56:51.140 Ready?

00:56:51.980 Ready, set, go.

00:56:53.260 Go.

00:56:53.860 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

00:57:05.840 Edit this shorter.

00:57:07.000 Thirteen.

00:57:07.440 This is like George telling Bobby Lee

00:57:10.020 That he's going to kill himself 0.93

00:57:10.940 20 0.99

00:57:11.280 I hate that that joke was great

00:57:15.280 25

00:57:15.900 30

00:57:20.040 Breathe closer to the mic

00:57:21.520 You're so trashed 0.96

00:57:24.220 This is insane 0.95

00:57:25.180 This is normal time

00:57:26.760 I can tell you

00:57:29.360 He's going to end at 1 minute and 6 seconds

00:57:32.900 I know exactly how this ends

00:57:36.640 50

00:57:37.440 Listen to his breathing

00:57:40.160 Could you put up his mic

00:57:42.180 For his breathing please

00:57:43.000 60

00:57:44.920 1

00:57:46.100 2

00:57:47.260 3

00:57:48.580 4

00:57:49.820 5

00:57:51.160 6

00:57:52.580 7

00:57:54.160 7 0.99

00:57:55.480 I fucking said that 0.99

00:57:58.700 I said that 0.99

00:58:01.040 That's so cool bro

00:58:02.560 That's so sick

00:58:03.420 That is impressive

00:58:07.420 That means you hang out a lot

00:58:09.680 That's my brother

00:58:10.800 That's my brother

00:58:11.720 That's insane

00:58:12.600 That's lit dude

00:58:13.320 You made fun of it

00:58:13.880 Because you don't like that 1.00

00:58:14.480 No no no 1.00

00:58:14.880 I fuck with it 1.00

00:58:15.400 It's so cool bro 1.00

00:58:16.460 Like how we fucking

00:58:17.700 Like it wasn't solved at first 1.00

00:58:19.120 And then he fucked up of you bro 0.99

00:58:21.260 Because let me tell you something 0.99

00:58:22.340 Go ahead

00:58:22.700 The kids

00:58:23.100 The speed cubers

00:58:24.020 They're called 1.00

00:58:24.460 Respect them

00:58:25.320 Work very hard at their craft

00:58:27.640 That's right

00:58:28.020 It's all they do

00:58:28.900 That's right

00:58:29.360 They put their body and mind

00:58:30.760 Through mental and physical hell

00:58:32.780 That's right 1.00

00:58:33.440 To solve that fucking 0.99

00:58:34.480 Three by three 1.00

00:58:35.140 As fast as they can

00:58:36.160 And I will not have you 1.00

00:58:37.020 slander me and the speed cubers don't be slandering don't be slandering piece of shit all right all 0.99

00:58:42.280 right let's be nice so apologize to me and max park and felix apologize now i will never apologize 0.99

00:58:50.060 for you playing with a fucking cube you dork listen to me bro listen to me you need help 0.98

00:58:55.860 i am your friend that's true you are playing with this cube too much way too much you are on bobby 1.00

00:59:01.540 lee's podcast and he literally had to tell you to stop playing the fucking cube and start talking 0.99

00:59:06.520 I have an addictive personality yet. 1.00

00:59:08.120 What the fuck do you want from me, bro? 1.00

00:59:09.340 Yeah, what do you want from him? 1.00

00:59:10.140 I have an addictive personality OCD, and I like patterns and numbers and algorithms.

00:59:13.660 Why are you yelling at me?

00:59:14.440 Bro.

00:59:14.600 That's also Bobby's fault for having that available for you to play with.

00:59:17.260 Bro, listen to this.

00:59:18.000 I brought it.

00:59:18.820 Oh, that's even weird.

00:59:19.600 I have to go pee.

00:59:20.420 I'm not walking out.

00:59:21.340 Y'all got your headphones on?

00:59:22.620 Yeah, let's hear it.

00:59:23.280 Yeah, let's hear it.

00:59:23.960 So the other day, I found Logan sitting on my couch at 930 at night by himself, playing

00:59:28.060 with his Rubik's Cube just like that, listening to...

00:59:31.380 I believe the origin of time, space, matter.

00:59:33.560 They try to answer that with the Big Bang Theory, with which there are numerous problems

00:59:36.160 What is that?

00:59:42.560 Is that the Big Bang Theory?

00:59:43.440 Yes, he was watching a theoretical

00:59:45.480 or some sort of evolutionist.

00:59:48.680 Creationism versus evolutionism.

00:59:50.140 Yes, he was watching it on 2X playing with the Rubik's Cube.

00:59:52.400 What do you think?

00:59:53.640 Let him go.

00:59:55.620 Let the kid go.

00:59:57.060 Wrong day for it, dude.

00:59:58.100 I'm telling you, man.

01:00:00.540 You just opened Pandora's box, bro. 0.98

01:00:03.980 You do not want a Christian to fight an evolutionist. 0.96

01:00:05.720 how about this how about this are we are we in a simulation it's a better question do we live in

01:00:10.940 a sim or no so so it's so it's entirely possible obviously of course if anything is possible but

01:00:16.140 do you believe it to be true i i think we most likely are but like simulation isn't the word

01:00:21.180 for it you right but that's the word that we know what we the only thing we can coin it as would be

01:00:26.960 simulation what we're saying is 100 we think it's controlled by something else but we don't have 0.96

01:00:31.180 control whatever the fuck is going on here you have no ability to comprehend it our brain doesn't 0.99

01:00:36.260 think like a super civilization we can put in like stupid human words yeah in our english language 1.00

01:00:41.360 but like words aren't going to describe whatever the fuck is going all right do you believe in 0.99

01:00:44.540 free will or do you think that everything is predestined that's tough that's tough like like 0.94

01:00:51.180 let me ask you a philosophical question like truly and i'm and i mean this i'm not joking around

01:00:55.240 Do you think you were destined to be 0.99

01:00:58.060 Oh shit, never mind 1.00

01:00:59.440 So then anyways, I said, how about the Yankees? 1.00

01:01:01.920 It's fine, I think they're a great team

01:01:03.400 I think they're a great team

01:01:04.520 Well, did you see what happened with the judge?

01:01:06.300 Oh man, is he still doing it?

01:01:08.800 Logan, I'll ask you for a minute

01:01:10.100 Do you think you were destined to be you?

01:01:13.880 No

01:01:14.140 You think you created you?

01:01:15.520 Yeah, I do

01:01:16.260 I believe in free will

01:01:18.180 You know where my mind went automatically

01:01:21.320 It was like multiverse

01:01:22.280 like area or like or metaverse yeah yeah like we're like the metaverse see i think crypto i

01:01:31.640 understand i understand the idea that you you made you but i have a i believe partially that

01:01:39.740 you were destined whether you know it or not yeah to be something else it's entirely possible yeah

01:01:46.800 I believe that

01:01:47.380 I believe I was kind of

01:01:48.860 Supposed to do what I do

01:01:50.880 I couldn't tell you in my bones

01:01:53.040 The moment that I

01:01:54.780 Knew I wanted to be a stand up

01:01:56.580 A lot of people say like

01:01:57.660 I knew what I wanted to come

01:01:58.780 I don't really think

01:02:00.000 I think you fall into the place

01:02:01.980 That you feel the most comfortable

01:02:03.140 Yeah but of course you do

01:02:04.040 Yeah but I think a part of that

01:02:05.220 Is because it's

01:02:05.960 The universe did a little bit of it

01:02:07.440 Yeah but of course you feel like that

01:02:08.120 Of course I feel like that

01:02:09.120 But that's because we're here

01:02:10.260 Like that's us trying to rationalize 0.97

01:02:11.620 Why the fuck we're here 0.98

01:02:12.500 What really it might just be 0.99

01:02:13.760 That's what I'm saying

01:02:14.240 I think somebody else told us

01:02:15.240 We're supposed to be here

01:02:15.940 Maybe

01:02:16.200 who exactly well you know have you ever read rene descartes huh rene descartes yeah great right 1.00

01:02:22.840 theorist theorist sure terrorist i don't know what the fuck mental theoretical fucking mental 0.91

01:02:31.260 mental right but um but yo a lot of a lot of that stuff a lot of his stuff and like plato 0.98

01:02:35.900 as like the kicker offers of all the simulation stuff what about the idea of a super civilization

01:02:40.960 right somewhere in the in the cosmos that has not only created this planet created all of us as

01:02:46.940 little weebles well weebles are because wobbles weebles wobble but they don't fall down we fell

01:02:52.520 up that curtain yeah okay but what if what if somewhere wobble you don't love that bro are

01:02:59.920 not only the inventors of this but also have gamified it and one of them is just sitting 0.97

01:03:06.560 there like right now and their mom's like yo e-c67 come finish your fucking laundry and he's like 0.96

01:03:12.140 hold on mike's about to get to the next stage and he's fucking playing me bro and he's do you 0.99

01:03:17.360 believe that or you're being played yes me personally 100 what happens when you die this 0.95

01:03:22.440 is all about you that's called the horizon theory yeah do you know about that yeah that's a true

01:03:26.900 yes horizon what do i think happens when we die yeah what do i think happens when we die yeah

01:03:33.380 i think when we die we finally find what we've been looking for

01:03:40.780 and it's individualized what when we die we don't go to a mutual place i don't go where you go you

01:03:48.500 don't go where he goes you find what you're looking for whether you know you're looking

01:03:52.240 for something or not whatever happens you did it i think it's all you it's you it's the construct

01:03:58.720 of what you wanted it to end up being that's where you'll go that's what i feel i don't know

01:04:02.880 What it looks like

01:04:03.500 Oh that's interesting

01:04:03.960 I don't know what it feels like 1.00

01:04:04.640 Like some shit you lost 1.00

01:04:05.800 Like I lost at Oxycontin 80 1.00

01:04:07.680 In Milford Connecticut

01:04:08.460 You find it

01:04:08.920 Really?

01:04:09.820 Yeah 1.00

01:04:10.000 I don't want to find that shit 1.00

01:04:11.120 Well then look for other shit 1.00

01:04:12.760 There's a fucking dwarf 1.00

01:04:14.880 Looking for a pot of gold out there 1.00

01:04:16.500 He says

01:04:17.280 Best members of my family 1.00

01:04:18.500 Some of my fucking 0.99

01:04:20.120 You talking about my grandmother? 1.00

01:04:22.700 You know who had the

01:04:23.420 You know who had the greatest

01:04:24.380 Answer to that question

01:04:25.360 Where do we go when we die?

01:04:26.720 Was Keanu Reeves

01:04:27.620 You ever want to see 0.99

01:04:28.480 A fucking amazing clip 0.99

01:04:29.640 He was on Colbert 1.00

01:04:30.420 And Colbert said it

01:04:31.820 With a little bit of facetiousness behind it

01:04:34.480 Where he was like where do we go when we die Keanu

01:04:36.200 And he said

01:04:37.700 I don't know but those who love us

01:04:40.420 Will miss us

01:04:41.320 And I thought that was like the best concise version

01:04:44.460 Those who love us will miss us

01:04:46.260 That's it that's all he knew

01:04:47.480 I was like that is perfect 1.00

01:04:48.840 He's dope dude that guy's fucking dope 0.99

01:04:52.360 Where do we go 1.00

01:04:53.260 Where do we go

01:04:55.100 Hmm

01:04:57.420 Summer slam

01:05:00.660 Imagine he broke into a WWE promo

01:05:04.500 You know where we go brother 1.00

01:05:06.660 See you at the gates of fuck you up 1.00

01:05:09.560 In a ladder match 1.00

01:05:11.480 One on one versus John Cena

01:05:13.820 Barbed wire fire

01:05:15.140 And your uncle Kevin

01:05:17.260 I'm Kevin

01:05:17.960 Breaking necks making checks

01:05:21.100 Sponsored by Budweiser

01:05:23.140 Logan Paul on tour 1.00

01:05:25.680 Bring your bitch 1.00

01:05:28.100 She's gonna pass the fuck out 1.00

01:05:29.840 so where do we go where do we go i don't know what do you what do you want to have happen 0.99

01:05:37.400 it's such a fucking high thought but it is you're there i want to hear it 0.93

01:05:44.060 all right i think when you die there's a measurable amount of energy that leaves your body 0.97

01:05:52.640 fact i think it's a fact it's you do have energy you're humming yeah that's why your heart's

01:05:59.120 beaten baby you got something you got electrical energy right so so when when when that happens

01:06:03.900 what is that energy what is that is that your soul i think i think that no i don't think that's

01:06:08.200 your soul what is that i think that's the i think that's the energy of the universe that where

01:06:12.040 that's the magnetic energy of the universe and where does it go it goes into other things well

01:06:16.720 why does it go where it goes uh does it choose maybe it depends on how you lived your life i

01:06:23.600 like this if you were a good person that energy that leaves your body goes into things that

01:06:28.340 replenish and reproduce and give

01:06:30.760 this is a scene from 0.99

01:06:32.380 fucking pineapple express 0.99

01:06:34.380 yeah we're writing the script 0.99

01:06:35.760 this is basically reincarnation

01:06:38.940 in a way 0.99

01:06:39.960 if you're bad you come back as an anal bee 1.00

01:06:42.120 or maybe 1.00

01:06:43.640 or if you're bad

01:06:45.900 your energy goes into the universe as you just said

01:06:48.740 perhaps even our sun

01:06:50.140 the burning hell hole that is sun

01:06:52.420 and if you're a bad person

01:06:53.540 your soul and your energy that was once

01:06:56.560 on the earth is now

01:06:58.080 burning in eternal flames inside of the sun so you're talking about heaven and hell right now

01:07:02.820 which is brought to you by the christian religion a little bit because but shout out christians but

01:07:08.040 but the shout out christians but the one thing that i would say is i i arguably and i know this

01:07:14.980 doesn't mean anything to you but sad guru said this as well perhaps the earth that we're living

01:07:19.420 on right now the life that we have right now this is the heaven yeah i believe that this is our

01:07:23.480 heaven have you been seeing the media i know but george it's it's it's better like hell there ain't

01:07:28.260 no coven in heaven and yeah there is i don't know i don't know are you sure i don't know jesus just 0.85

01:07:33.380 tested positive are you fucking serious it was like a nose it wasn't a pcr it was like a false 1.00

01:07:38.380 jesus had a jesus had one of those rapid tests i think personally is that stupid as shit no man 1.00

01:07:45.660 i'm trying to rationalize things that don't make sense i'll say this i think i understand what 0.99

01:07:49.660 you're saying i think that's a good there is no way that's a theory i don't i don't know if i

01:07:52.620 believe that i don't think i believe that but it's like a really interesting thought but why 0.62

01:07:55.660 not it's fine you can just because here's what i believe ready yeah nothing i don't fucking know 0.94

01:07:59.660 and at the end of the day that's the truest answer yeah you don't know i don't know shit and i'm 0.82

01:08:05.640 open to all ideas and i probably will be forever because at the end of the day no matter how sure 0.99

01:08:10.180 i am how much conviction i have in my stupid fucking beliefs they're just beliefs and i don't 0.99

01:08:14.020 know anything you don't know nothing i'm humble i'm humble i'm humble you know being on this on 1.00

01:08:18.980 this earth who's aware of his ignorance in the scope of the universe all right what do you think

01:08:23.500 george i in my heart of heart i believe that one day if i walk in the way that i i pray that i could

01:08:30.740 be that i will be with king jesus are you are you a christian super christian whoa i didn't know

01:08:36.580 yeah i mean it's it's hard because like in the media people are like oh he doesn't he doesn't

01:08:42.600 live like a christian they don't know what i do in my home or what i share with my friends

01:08:45.740 What would it mean to live like a Christian anyway? 0.99

01:08:48.700 Not fucking before marriage 1.00

01:08:49.960 Or smoking that ganja 1.00

01:08:51.700 Or drinking weed, alcohol 0.99

01:08:53.680 My definition of a true Christian 1.00

01:08:55.480 Is somebody who's more focused on himself 0.53

01:08:58.600 And his relationship with Jesus

01:09:00.040 And really loving of thy neighbor

01:09:01.940 I think that is a pure Christian

01:09:03.940 I don't think anybody on this earth

01:09:06.640 Could live a sinless life

01:09:08.400 I'm working on myself every day

01:09:10.720 I want to change the way I speak

01:09:12.460 I want to change the way I think

01:09:13.760 I'm working on myself every single day

01:09:16.480 And the best thing I can take out of it is

01:09:18.320 God forbid Jesus doesn't exist

01:09:20.620 Through his teaching

01:09:21.880 I've brought myself to a better living

01:09:24.120 Are you a Coptic Christian? 0.99

01:09:25.840 A Copt being Christian? 1.00

01:09:27.180 Let's go! 1.00

01:09:28.240 Do you know what that is? Coptic Christian?

01:09:30.460 What does that mean?

01:09:33.340 I'm just Christian

01:09:34.960 Is there a chance you just made that up?

01:09:36.680 No I've heard of it 1.00

01:09:37.860 Or maybe was that Cotton Christian? 0.98

01:09:41.100 Coptic Christian 1.00

01:09:42.660 That's a real thing 0.95

01:09:43.760 I cop that Christian. 1.00

01:09:44.960 Cop that Christian. 1.00

01:09:45.840 Are you Jewish? 1.00

01:09:47.060 No. 0.86

01:09:48.780 I'm a nothing burger. 0.92

01:09:49.880 You're a nothing burger. 0.93

01:09:50.700 I'm a nada.

01:09:51.500 When I was a kid, we were kind of in the church.

01:09:54.460 We were Catholic because I'm Irish and Italian, but I got rid of it.

01:09:58.520 You know, all those people. 1.00

01:09:59.580 It just didn't connect with me.

01:10:02.260 Yeah.

01:10:02.740 But you know what I love about this is that we have respect.

01:10:04.980 Yeah, of course.

01:10:05.640 Yeah, that's awesome. 0.91

01:10:05.960 I think everyone should believe whatever the fuck they want. 0.78

01:10:08.400 I just don't. 0.97

01:10:09.380 It doesn't really. 0.99

01:10:11.260 No, I don't have any fucking. 0.99

01:10:12.680 Like I just think do your thing 0.99

01:10:14.100 Be nice 0.99

01:10:14.780 Don't be a dick 0.99

01:10:16.980 Just do your thing 1.00

01:10:17.800 Don't be a dick 0.99

01:10:18.300 That's kind of the biggest 1.00

01:10:19.880 Don't be a dick 1.00

01:10:20.100 That's my religion 1.00

01:10:21.220 Don't be a dick 1.00

01:10:21.880 That is like quite literally 1.00

01:10:23.360 The biggest religion 1.00

01:10:24.240 Don't be a fucking asshole 1.00

01:10:25.440 And then you're good 1.00

01:10:26.100 If you could do that

01:10:26.860 Then you're

01:10:27.280 Like these people that are like

01:10:28.540 Yo George is smoking marijuana 0.94

01:10:30.900 Dude like he's going to hell 1.00

01:10:32.660 He's going to burn their sick 1.00

01:10:33.720 Well that is true 1.00

01:10:34.520 That is true

01:10:35.020 But

01:10:35.200 What are you going to do

01:10:36.540 No but listen

01:10:37.440 The biggest rule of Christianity

01:10:39.960 Is that when you accept Jesus Christ

01:10:42.400 in your heart he forgives you for those menial sins bro like venial sins venial menial i think

01:10:48.860 it might be venial it's definitely not can we should i check it i usually end up right in these

01:10:53.320 i'm so sorry it's menial i know that menial is a word and it means small but venial i think is a

01:10:58.960 thing noting a sin that is not regarded as depriving i'm sorry i do this word venial

01:11:03.460 i do this word thing that take it very seriously i apologize it's menial sin well menial is a

01:11:08.880 It's a similar word, but venial is having to do specifically with sin.

01:11:11.300 He's right, because it's church-bound.

01:11:13.040 It's highly impressive.

01:11:13.620 I don't do church talks.

01:11:14.400 I have no idea.

01:11:15.360 Where I was going with this was, beyond the fact that you clearly don't know much about the English language,

01:11:21.160 is that George... 1.00

01:11:23.340 Rewind this tape for every time he stumbled over and he said something fucking insanely dumb. 1.00

01:11:28.080 You know what? 1.00

01:11:28.760 Put together a super cut of this motherfucker saying just the dumbest shit coming out of his head. 1.00

01:11:35.020 And you know what? 1.00

01:11:37.060 I hope that wasn't a dog bite, and I hope you guys... 0.99

01:11:38.880 fucking cold sores all over your face now 1.00

01:11:40.880 from your Phoenician. 1.00

01:11:42.560 Do you know Phoenicians? Did you know it was

01:11:44.980 Phoenician? It's a great hotel.

01:11:47.000 Phineas and Herb. Blinds and people from 1.00

01:11:48.980 Phoenix. Go ahead. 1.00

01:11:51.040 Go ahead. Alright, ready?

01:11:54.060 The biggest

01:11:54.780 belief. Yeah, I already said what I said.

01:11:57.180 You said it. Then what am I doing now?

01:11:58.900 God bless Jesus.

01:12:00.060 God bless Jesus. I didn't know you were into it.

01:12:02.900 I like that. I appreciate it. You fuck with him.

01:12:05.140 I really do like him. Alright. That's why I was 1.00

01:12:06.800 watching these videos because he sent it to me.

01:12:08.620 I was watching the video.

01:12:09.740 The creation, that's where this started.

01:12:11.220 Yeah, we're talking about the video you sent me.

01:12:12.560 You don't even know that.

01:12:13.340 That's the context of this conversation.

01:12:14.300 Oh, okay, okay, absolutely. 0.99

01:12:15.160 That's how this fucking whole thing started. 0.99

01:12:16.420 And I also watch in 2X. 1.00

01:12:19.160 I can hear that.

01:12:20.420 Yeah, I heard that.

01:12:21.660 Let me tell you something.

01:12:22.340 You got no time.

01:12:23.580 No?

01:12:23.900 Yeah, yes.

01:12:24.520 You're a busy man.

01:12:25.580 Anyone can benefit from just having active listening skills that process quicker. 0.68

01:12:31.880 Like, that's sick.

01:12:32.820 That's actually awesome.

01:12:33.720 If you can ingest quickly.

01:12:34.840 Yeah, of course.

01:12:35.480 But are you retaining as much?

01:12:36.820 Yeah, you retain as much.

01:12:37.860 You, personally.

01:12:38.620 And you save time

01:12:41.860 You double your efficiency

01:12:43.140 Did you get that from Speechify?

01:12:45.380 Cliff, yes

01:12:46.020 Same, I agree with you

01:12:48.000 Ingest it two times

01:12:50.200 What's the highest times you can go on YouTube?

01:12:52.520 I've done four

01:12:53.440 You can get to four

01:12:54.700 No, no, no, I do four

01:12:57.320 But I actually am not getting anything out of it

01:12:59.640 But I'll sometimes watch it

01:13:00.940 No, no, no, I use a different app

01:13:03.480 Not YouTube

01:13:04.040 I watch videos on four

01:13:05.440 Is this what it sounds like?

01:13:06.300 I don't get anything.

01:13:08.660 I heard a couple things, sir.

01:13:09.940 It goes up to two.

01:13:14.380 Again with the cube. 0.99

01:13:17.720 Shut up, Max Park. 1.00

01:13:19.440 Shut up, Max Park. 1.00

01:13:20.780 You're a badass speedcuber, bro. 1.00

01:13:22.740 And don't let my bitch-ass co-host 1.00

01:13:25.500 say you ain't. 1.00

01:13:27.400 Why'd you include me in it?

01:13:28.320 I didn't say anything. 1.00

01:13:29.240 Talk your shit, bro. 1.00

01:13:30.440 Let's see what happens. 1.00

01:13:32.700 What are you going to do?

01:13:33.800 Would you ever fight?

01:13:35.220 Did you two ever fight? 1.00

01:13:35.860 Kick his fucking head. 1.00

01:13:36.980 Would you ever fight him? 1.00

01:13:37.960 Not today.

01:13:38.900 What would make it fair?

01:13:40.520 What would make it fair between you?

01:13:41.620 His knee, his current knee.

01:13:42.280 No, no, no.

01:13:42.960 I'm not MCL.

01:13:44.220 But outside of that, let's say you're both healthy.

01:13:46.100 What would make the battle fair?

01:13:48.860 There's nothing.

01:13:49.620 He's a trained combat sports athlete.

01:13:50.740 Take away an arm?

01:13:52.240 Tie an arm? 0.99

01:13:53.080 Well, he doesn't use his right anyway,

01:13:54.480 so I guess technically it's already... 0.99

01:13:55.860 If you take away his left, it's fucked. 0.98

01:13:57.400 He doesn't know how to throw the right. 0.99

01:13:58.180 Would you think you'd still do that then?

01:13:59.440 Take away your left.

01:13:59.960 Tie your left behind your hand.

01:14:00.880 No, if he...

01:14:01.580 If you took away a leg, it'd be difficult for me.

01:14:03.660 if you took away a leg

01:14:04.940 it'd be difficult

01:14:05.360 no but I also

01:14:06.080 but that's hard to do

01:14:06.720 because an arm you can tie

01:14:07.880 you can wrap an arm

01:14:08.820 you can't really wrap up a leg

01:14:09.780 no I think if you

01:14:10.520 I think if you had one arm

01:14:11.960 if you had one arm tied

01:14:13.220 that might throw you off

01:14:14.380 enough for me to get it done

01:14:15.980 I do think so

01:14:16.960 I think that

01:14:17.580 a minute seven

01:14:22.280 much faster

01:14:22.860 I don't know

01:14:23.340 it was a minute seven

01:14:23.720 but it wasn't jumbled as much

01:14:24.820 do you care about

01:14:25.580 where I think we go

01:14:26.640 or do you not

01:14:27.320 or were you just knocking at

01:14:28.380 because you specifically

01:14:29.200 asked them and then just

01:14:30.140 dude you're a great podcast guest

01:14:32.420 because you've turned this

01:14:33.160 to your podcast 100 i will do every time i feel like i do want to know where you want us to go

01:14:38.520 but a piece of me wants to know something more deeper about you

01:14:43.500 you can ask whatever you want okay yeah um i love this he's interviewing you what what makes you cry

01:14:50.400 um when i have to leave my house after i see my family because i don't get to see them as much

01:14:58.420 as i'd like to and sometimes i have to like leave my mom or like my grandma who's like aging

01:15:03.060 and that upsets me that makes you cry yeah um people that are hurting and that there's no like

01:15:10.400 like specific people that have like mental illness or like drug addiction because

01:15:13.900 anything that i can like relate deeply or empathetically to and to me like suffering

01:15:18.800 from mental illness or addiction is like something that really has affected my life for basically my

01:15:23.460 entire life so knowing that there's people out there that can't find their way in our and have

01:15:27.920 no like hope and no help from people that upsets me a lot so i would say those two things will you

01:15:32.660 Will you cry in public?

01:15:33.840 Titanic, dude.

01:15:35.380 You hide it?

01:15:36.760 No, yeah, I'll just, like, I'll, like, be like this. 1.00

01:15:41.360 Ah, fuck, it's hot, dude. 1.00

01:15:43.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:15:43.600 You know what I'm saying?

01:15:44.280 You don't want someone to see. 1.00

01:15:45.240 Yeah, or, like, fucking shit, dude, what is that? 1.00

01:15:47.360 Like, a fucking bird shit or something like that? 1.00

01:15:50.140 You know, like, just do, like, I have a bunch of different motions that I can do. 1.00

01:15:52.780 To get rid of it.

01:15:53.540 Yeah, just, like.

01:15:54.140 What makes you cry, Andrew?

01:15:58.700 What makes me cry? 1.00

01:15:59.700 I think only family shit. 1.00

01:16:02.660 Only family shit 1.00

01:16:04.460 Like mom stuff 1.00

01:16:06.220 If my mom is upset

01:16:08.200 That's it

01:16:09.040 I hate upsetting my mom 1.00

01:16:11.140 It's a fucking bum 0.99

01:16:13.340 Because you feel that they're bummed 1.00

01:16:14.720 Do you have a mom?

01:16:16.280 He's lying

01:16:17.020 He probably still loves his mom

01:16:20.860 I hated that

01:16:22.140 I upset her

01:16:23.240 But it's tough

01:16:25.160 I saw a guy get hit by a car

01:16:29.120 A year ago

01:16:29.800 And I thought I was going to cry

01:16:31.840 But I didn't

01:16:32.660 I mean he got

01:16:33.620 he got small

01:16:34.540 dude he got small

01:16:36.520 oh was he good

01:16:37.380 you went from crying

01:16:38.320 to laughing

01:16:38.840 was he good or no

01:16:39.920 no no he was not good

01:16:41.100 oh he perished

01:16:42.220 he was gone

01:16:42.900 how bad

01:16:44.500 like explain this to me

01:16:45.620 and were you driving

01:16:46.260 yeah

01:16:46.900 and his head was like

01:16:49.680 ah right in my windshield

01:16:50.640 oh lord

01:16:51.880 and I saw a guy get it

01:16:52.780 yeah it was nuts 0.99

01:16:53.460 it was fucking wild 0.96

01:16:54.120 but I was like 0.99

01:16:54.580 shouldn't I be crying

01:16:55.660 like have you ever gone

01:16:56.580 to a funeral and not cried

01:16:57.580 yeah

01:16:58.180 isn't that weird

01:16:58.800 that you're like

01:16:59.180 shouldn't I be crying

01:16:59.780 yeah have you ever

01:17:00.620 been to a funeral

01:17:01.160 and had the urge 0.96

01:17:02.020 to jerk off is that what you're gonna say whoa that was gonna be i saw it in your eyes i saw it 0.95

01:17:07.660 in your eyes but have you ever been like really this for anyone in the room on any of these 0.99

01:17:11.940 couches have you ever seen like a something like really upsetting that should make you cry and it

01:17:17.940 gave you the urge to like laugh yeah yeah yeah yeah all the time yeah it does that sometimes

01:17:26.160 bro like i it happens to me bro i'm not even kidding i've gone to funerals and just been like

01:17:30.700 Had the urge to laugh

01:17:33.940 I think it's a natural

01:17:35.340 Bodily response to trauma

01:17:37.900 To trauma and sadness 0.97

01:17:38.700 I'm dead fucking serious 0.86

01:17:39.900 100% 0.96

01:17:40.300 I believe it

01:17:41.720 That's how I respond to everything

01:17:42.940 Laugh

01:17:43.840 It's always my initial instinct

01:17:45.520 Especially when you're overwhelmed

01:17:47.200 You're like I'm gonna laugh my way right out of this

01:17:48.840 Yeah

01:17:49.180 Like when I'm in too deep especially

01:17:52.220 Uh huh

01:17:52.900 There's like a giant like surrender 1.00

01:17:55.440 And like well fuck it 0.99

01:17:56.800 No I don't know 1.00

01:17:59.780 Like we can't get worse than that 1.00

01:18:01.600 Well fuck it 1.00

01:18:02.180 No that's the dark approach 1.00

01:18:03.700 That's not what I'm talking about

01:18:04.520 I'm talking about the natural

01:18:05.600 Like where you can't stop it

01:18:07.080 Yeah

01:18:07.480 Like where you're so uncomfortable

01:18:09.020 With what's happening

01:18:09.920 And you're just like

01:18:10.440 Like and you just start 0.99

01:18:12.700 Fucking laughing 0.99

01:18:13.500 Like a giddy little child 0.99

01:18:13.700 Yes bro

01:18:14.280 Yeah I like that

01:18:14.860 Alright let's answer this question

01:18:16.520 We go around the room

01:18:19.820 What's the last thought

01:18:21.580 That crosses your mind

01:18:22.580 Before you go to sleep

01:18:23.560 The last

01:18:25.820 It could be the thing

01:18:26.640 That happens often to you

01:18:27.440 Or the thing that you just thought about

01:18:28.540 Last time you went to bed

01:18:29.780 What's the last thought that goes through your head before you go to bed?

01:18:33.840 Yeah.

01:18:34.420 I mean, this is like a deep thought.

01:18:36.360 No, it doesn't have to be.

01:18:37.160 It can be if it is.

01:18:37.840 So every night before I go to bed, I say my prayer.

01:18:41.760 And through that, I always reflect on how I was today, how I treated people, how I acted,

01:18:46.000 how I took on a situation.

01:18:48.140 And so sometimes it haunts me because I like really do reflect too much.

01:18:51.820 Yeah.

01:18:52.340 So every night I reflect like in bed.

01:18:54.560 I actually started journaling because my thoughts started getting really bad.

01:18:57.720 So I actually started journaling

01:18:59.480 And I swear it's changed my life

01:19:01.000 I saw this thing on Twitter that said

01:19:02.540 About 50% of people don't have an internal dialogue

01:19:05.620 What?

01:19:07.480 Oh, they're robots

01:19:08.460 So, you know, when they're alone

01:19:11.500 With themselves

01:19:12.100 Nothing really going on

01:19:14.960 No, no shot

01:19:15.540 Now that may mean an actual, like, you can hear a voice

01:19:18.840 Which is interesting, I'm not really sure

01:19:20.960 About the context of this

01:19:22.000 Hearing a voice scares me a little bit

01:19:23.480 That would scare me if I heard a physical voice

01:19:25.500 That's why I don't think it was that

01:19:27.200 that's schizophrenia yeah i think that can be i think that's can be what's your last thought

01:19:31.700 in your head guys right before you go to bed what was it last night um well last night i i'm i like

01:19:40.240 to i stress out all the time so i'm very high stressed and high strung he knows this so i

01:19:44.780 probably i had to upload a youtube video today on my personal youtube channel the night shift

01:19:48.500 plug i don't and last night i was just super stressed i think he's famous bro yeah

01:19:55.380 and you're stressed about that yeah i was stressed out about it last night so i was probably like in

01:19:59.660 my mind i was like well and i was just stressed out about this whole day so i'm usually my macro

01:20:05.080 answer to this would be probably something work related like no my last simple thought is probably 1.00

01:20:11.820 this fuck fuck but not like that like this fuck yeah you know what i'm saying like fuck bro and 1.00

01:20:21.120 then i just fall asleep and then i wake up the next day and you want to know the first thing i 1.00

01:20:24.220 think when i wake up fuck fuck it literally came straight through i made it fuck i'm not kidding 1.00

01:20:30.280 i wish i didn't wake up fuck fuck bro every night before i go to bed i try to convince myself 1.00

01:20:37.300 please don't wake up to pee in the middle of the night no way no way interesting no fucking i piss 1.00

01:20:43.300 now i piss now in the middle of the night do you do you getting older i haven't pissed a lot i hate 0.99

01:20:47.700 it so much man no you don't you don't wear the bed no no i piss in the middle of the night i wake 0.98

01:20:52.160 up and i piss i an old man i like wake up i have to go oh you you make it to the toilet oh yeah wait 0.78

01:20:59.120 you guys really thought you just can i ask you a question we wanted to go with it do you guys 0.99

01:21:02.980 don't get up in the middle of the night no i do it sucks can i ask you one worst thing ever

01:21:06.320 worst thing ever and i pray and i pray please make me get through the night so i don't have 0.98

01:21:09.360 to piss in i hate pissing you have to strategize your water intake before you go to bed and i've 0.98

01:21:14.200 stepped on my dog like twice yeah oh what kind of dog your dog should be sleeping in your bed 0.99

01:21:18.060 if you really loved it. 0.62

01:21:19.720 She goes where she wants to go, baby. 1.00

01:21:21.900 She rules the land. 1.00

01:21:23.240 That bitch goes wherever she wants. 1.00

01:21:25.460 You're staying in the bed with me. 1.00

01:21:26.880 I let her go wherever the fuck she wants. 1.00

01:21:28.400 Please don't piss. 1.00

01:21:29.060 I piss in the middle of the night.

01:21:29.900 It's sad.

01:21:30.280 That's tough.

01:21:30.840 And I miss every time.

01:21:31.740 So we're getting a urinal.

01:21:32.960 No, what are you talking about?

01:21:34.600 That's cool.

01:21:35.080 We're getting a urinal.

01:21:35.740 Why?

01:21:36.180 What are you talking about?

01:21:36.920 Because I don't want to piss in the toilet. 0.99

01:21:38.200 That's not what the fuck we all talk about. 0.99

01:21:39.800 You're going to sit here and say, 0.99

01:21:40.540 God, he's getting a urinal.

01:21:41.520 Yeah, it's great.

01:21:41.980 You're not midnight sit pissing.

01:21:44.420 Bro if you're getting up

01:21:45.700 In the middle of the night

01:21:46.480 There is no reason

01:21:48.080 You should be standing

01:21:48.920 Over that toilet

01:21:49.720 Oh yeah they're right

01:21:50.500 It's the middle 0.99

01:21:51.160 Of the fucking night 0.99

01:21:52.060 I disagree 0.99

01:21:52.700 I disagree

01:21:53.300 Because I'll sit there

01:21:54.160 All night

01:21:54.520 I'll get too tired

01:21:55.360 To get up

01:21:55.520 Are you

01:21:55.900 You broke your spine 0.89

01:21:58.720 Walking off a curb

01:22:00.340 In the middle of the day

01:22:01.280 Running

01:22:01.560 No

01:22:01.920 And you're gonna be

01:22:02.940 Half asleep standing

01:22:04.080 Do you know what can happen to you

01:22:05.280 You can tip over

01:22:06.560 Hit your head 1.00

01:22:07.380 And die 1.00

01:22:08.180 So then you won't be saying 0.98

01:22:09.460 Oh I hope I don't piss 0.99

01:22:10.460 It's I hope I don't fucking die 1.00

01:22:12.080 Or become a paraplegic 1.00

01:22:13.560 From a piss accident. 0.96

01:22:14.960 Homie.

01:22:15.340 You think people just tip over?

01:22:16.800 When you're sleeping, you never sleep tipped?

01:22:18.360 I'm awake when I'm pissing.

01:22:19.560 I don't sleep piss.

01:22:21.600 I get in there. 0.90

01:22:22.740 I hold the wall like every adult male. 1.00

01:22:24.880 I do a little baby lean, and I piss into that fucking thing. 1.00

01:22:28.340 Suit yourself, bro. 1.00

01:22:29.000 I think sit pissing for men is...

01:22:30.240 And now, I'm going to have a urinal with two handles, and I'm going to hold on to them. 0.96

01:22:33.880 Look at Ty Massage Barther. 0.99

01:22:34.760 Pull my cock out, and I'm just going to piss, let go of the handles, and get back in bed. 1.00

01:22:38.800 Or ask my wife, come help me back into bed. 1.00

01:22:41.320 We haven't even talked

01:22:43.000 About this whole wife

01:22:43.480 But I'm gonna hold on 1.00

01:22:44.180 To the handles

01:22:45.040 Wait what do you think about

01:22:46.120 You never said anything

01:22:46.820 Uh what do I think about

01:22:48.180 Oh oh right now

01:22:49.040 I don't know

01:22:49.400 Probably how like lucky

01:22:50.160 I am to have my girlfriend

01:22:51.100 Aww 1.00

01:22:51.840 What a sweetie pie

01:22:53.260 Comment down below

01:22:54.280 What you think about

01:22:55.020 Cause I kinda wanna read

01:22:55.760 What a sweetie pie

01:22:56.420 Just that one thing

01:22:57.460 He's just trying to get ahead later

01:22:58.620 Bro it's just that one 1.00

01:22:59.700 Fucking thing 1.00

01:23:00.320 It's the only fucking thing 1.00

01:23:01.260 Do you get sucked a lot 1.00

01:23:02.140 All the time 0.99

01:23:03.240 You get sucked 0.99

01:23:03.840 You're a big guy 1.00

01:23:04.340 Big suck 1.00

01:23:05.040 Big suck suck guy 1.00

01:23:05.960 Big guy suck 1.00

01:23:07.320 Big boy suck 1.00

01:23:08.680 Is that what you say 1.00

01:23:09.180 When you want it 1.00

01:23:09.660 Big guy suck 1.00

01:23:11.400 Big guy like suck 1.00

01:23:12.260 And she goes 1.00

01:23:13.460 Come on Luke

01:23:13.940 Don't do it 1.00

01:23:14.200 Big boy like suck 1.00

01:23:15.220 Big strong guy like suck 1.00

01:23:17.300 You you suck suck 1.00

01:23:18.640 Turns into Bobby Lee 1.00

01:23:20.660 Yeah yeah yeah

01:23:21.560 Somehow

01:23:22.300 It's my best friend

01:23:23.660 Bobby Lee

01:23:25.220 No Bobby Lee

01:23:27.340 Who comes over and does it

01:23:28.940 How do you ask

01:23:29.600 How do you ask for one

01:23:30.500 How do you ask for head

01:23:31.180 I'm gonna tell you

01:23:31.980 Give me your secret 1.00

01:23:33.380 How do you ask her for head

01:23:34.380 I'll tell you my secret

01:23:35.260 What's the

01:23:35.800 Yeah what's the verbiage

01:23:36.720 I don't 1.00

01:23:37.920 Oh she just does it 0.94

01:23:39.640 You walk in the door 1.00

01:23:41.280 Boom you suck in my dick 1.00

01:23:42.540 She can't not suck your cock 1.00

01:23:47.300 Can I get one of those 1.00

01:23:48.500 I walk down the stairs 1.00

01:23:50.160 Boom she suck in my dick 1.00

01:23:51.400 I get out of the shower 1.00

01:23:53.020 She suck in my dick 1.00

01:23:54.740 She's never not suck in my dick 1.00

01:23:57.060 You asked him what his last thought is 1.00

01:23:59.940 At the end of the night

01:24:00.560 That's what it is 1.00

01:24:01.960 Holy shit 1.00

01:24:03.900 Suck in my dick 1.00

01:24:05.040 No 1.00

01:24:05.720 That's a good bit

01:24:06.940 That's a good bit

01:24:08.120 You never have asked

01:24:09.340 You never said hey can I get

01:24:10.360 Let me say something

01:24:12.600 Out of respect for my sweet sweet

01:24:14.820 The love of your life

01:24:15.620 I prefer not to talk about 1.00

01:24:18.760 Her fellatio 0.99

01:24:20.760 Her fellating 1.00

01:24:21.500 I'm so fucking proud of you 0.99

01:24:23.460 I'm so fucking proud of you 0.99

01:24:26.060 It's even fucked up that I said what I said 0.99

01:24:28.060 But you know what 0.98

01:24:28.660 You did start it

01:24:29.440 You did open it

01:24:30.040 I didn't say anything

01:24:32.560 You just asked my girlfriend 0.92

01:24:33.500 That's right

01:24:35.280 It was me

01:24:36.360 You reenacted it

01:24:39.020 I did because that's how I saw it in my mind

01:24:40.900 Different verticals too

01:24:41.620 That was a big moment for him

01:24:43.680 I'm really proud of you that you didn't take that moment to turn it into content

01:24:46.060 So I'll handle it for you

01:24:47.020 So basically

01:24:47.920 When they first started dating

01:24:51.460 She wouldn't let him hit 1.00

01:24:53.300 But this girl they had to have set the land speed record 1.00

01:24:56.280 For blowjobs 1.00

01:24:56.920 There's no shot you're actually explaining 0.99

01:24:58.740 Mike

01:25:00.100 Be nice

01:25:01.940 Are you going to walk off the set George 1.00

01:25:05.320 I'm finishing my fucking story 1.00

01:25:06.360 No no 1.00

01:25:06.820 Look at my face

01:25:09.580 Look at

01:25:10.400 I'm pleading

01:25:11.440 Please

01:25:13.200 Plead a little bit

01:25:13.980 Into the mic

01:25:14.480 Please Mike

01:25:15.320 Please don't

01:25:16.400 Please because

01:25:17.240 Because that's um

01:25:19.240 I find it just

01:25:19.940 Okay fair enough

01:25:21.040 You've stated your case

01:25:22.140 He's in love

01:25:22.820 I'm proud of both of you guys now

01:25:24.140 I find it incredibly

01:25:25.180 I had no intention of going through that story

01:25:27.340 I just wanted to see you wiggle a little bit

01:25:29.020 Now what were you saying Mr. Santino

01:25:31.320 He said set the lane

01:25:32.540 Now so you're

01:25:33.060 So you're married

01:25:33.960 Yeah

01:25:34.520 How do you like that?

01:25:35.780 How long have you been married?

01:25:36.580 And why aren't you wearing a ring?

01:25:37.640 Is it because you're in L.A.?

01:25:38.760 No, just because I never have.

01:25:40.560 I'm just saying.

01:25:42.140 You never have, huh?

01:25:43.540 You know why?

01:25:44.100 Because I never have, and I don't care.

01:25:48.300 And it's not, I don't know, it's not my thing. 1.00

01:25:49.620 Were you kind of every girl's secret little dream fantasy 0.97

01:25:53.600 tucked in the bottom drawer like a redhead kind of guy?

01:25:57.400 Yeah, I mean, people like, redhead is a fetish for sure.

01:25:59.940 Yeah, right? 0.94

01:26:00.500 It is.

01:26:00.800 It's definitely a fetish.

01:26:01.260 It totally is.

01:26:02.080 Yeah, it's definitely a fetish,

01:26:03.120 but it's also like

01:26:04.020 I think part of it

01:26:05.780 might have been a bet

01:26:06.500 for years 1.00

01:26:07.160 for girls 0.96

01:26:07.600 where like 0.93

01:26:07.880 you know like

01:26:08.680 50 bucks 1.00

01:26:10.100 if you fuck that redhead 1.00

01:26:11.180 you know what I mean 1.00

01:26:11.720 like I was

01:26:12.200 I might have been

01:26:13.840 the end of a bet

01:26:15.580 a parting gift 1.00

01:26:16.740 but for a redhead 1.00

01:26:17.660 I don't look like 0.53

01:26:19.140 most of them

01:26:20.000 I'm

01:26:20.480 I'm a little bit

01:26:21.780 better on the scale

01:26:22.480 you're a day walker 1.00

01:26:23.340 I would say most redheads 1.00

01:26:24.640 a high percentage 1.00

01:26:25.480 of redheads 1.00

01:26:25.920 are horrific creatures 1.00

01:26:27.480 yeah 1.00

01:26:28.260 are you top redhead 1.00

01:26:30.400 am I a top redhead

01:26:32.400 I'm in the top 1% of redhead creators.

01:26:34.800 Is that true? 1.00

01:26:35.360 Oh, you have only reds?

01:26:37.240 Only reds? 0.96

01:26:38.120 Of redheaded men, I think I would be a higher-end red. 0.97

01:26:43.700 A higher-end red. 0.87

01:26:44.820 You know, like in a restaurant chain, I would be one that has like three locations.

01:26:52.120 Or you would be like a Merlot or like a better Merlot.

01:26:55.600 I'm like a Pinot Noir.

01:26:56.760 Got it.

01:26:57.360 If you go outside in the middle of the summer, do you burn or catch on fire?

01:27:02.400 uh burn yes i mean no because i put on sunscreen were you ever offended by the

01:27:08.640 by the whole ginger no got type comments or like or like you know how south park said like

01:27:15.200 gingers don't have souls yeah did that ever did you ever have to ask yourself like do i have a soul

01:27:20.060 no no ginger stuff never landed it was always kind of corny it was like always like uh

01:27:25.340 if it was funnier people were funnier when they did it it would have been good but like

01:27:29.620 the fire crotch thing was always kind of like oh okay yeah yeah but like what about kick a ginger

01:27:34.280 day like that didn't resonate with you no i thought no i got what they were going for but 0.98

01:27:39.120 it just never landed i was like it's just not just stupid it wasn't as funny as i if it was 0.97

01:27:43.640 funny i'd be like that's fucking it's a great it's a great way to disarm someone who's attempting 0.99

01:27:47.220 to like pick on you yeah yeah no it's funny but if it was really good i'd be like oh that's 0.98

01:27:54.140 fucking funny oh nice if someone can make fun of you and it's and it's like good if it's good 0.58

01:27:58.940 It's good 0.99

01:27:59.380 I'm a fire crotch, Andrew 0.97

01:28:00.640 No, you're not 0.98

01:28:01.400 Swear to God

01:28:01.980 Look at my beard

01:28:02.640 Yeah, but that's

01:28:03.540 You're like

01:28:03.960 You're like

01:28:04.960 Faux fire

01:28:05.780 You're like 1.00

01:28:06.520 It's strawberry blonde 0.99

01:28:08.620 Strawberry blonde 1.00

01:28:09.240 That's what they call it 0.93

01:28:10.100 It's because my papa was like that 0.99

01:28:11.600 Was your dad a redhead?

01:28:13.700 He was

01:28:14.080 He was

01:28:14.400 Yeah

01:28:14.760 They called him Red Muff

01:28:16.400 In high school

01:28:16.960 That was his nickname

01:28:17.660 Was he a big bad boy?

01:28:18.980 He was a big bad boy

01:28:19.880 Is he gone?

01:28:21.800 He's gone

01:28:22.260 Rest in peace

01:28:23.220 Well

01:28:24.160 Jesus Christ, Logan

01:28:25.820 He's not gone

01:28:26.500 He's actually texting me right now

01:28:28.080 He's at the ranch

01:28:28.580 Oh, he's not dead?

01:28:29.320 Yeah, he came back.

01:28:31.160 He's Jesus.

01:28:31.700 Your father's Jesus?

01:28:32.580 So George knows him well.

01:28:34.440 That's why he's texting him.

01:28:34.940 I do know him, and he's not Jesus.

01:28:38.260 Wait.

01:28:39.320 Do you have a relationship with his father?

01:28:40.720 I'm texting him as we speak.

01:28:41.660 They both do.

01:28:42.280 Everyone in this room does.

01:28:43.320 Some better than others.

01:28:44.660 Why do you talk to his dad so much?

01:28:46.540 He's a great guy, and we just have really deep conversations.

01:28:49.380 About what, George?

01:28:50.200 What are you talking about right now?

01:28:52.140 Right now, we're talking about how to deal with anxieties.

01:28:54.880 Anxiety.

01:28:55.760 What does he know about anxiety?

01:28:57.100 He had to deal with you guys

01:28:58.880 Can I say something?

01:29:00.660 What do you do for a living?

01:29:01.880 He does everything

01:29:02.580 He's a jack of all trades

01:29:03.580 A realtor at first

01:29:05.100 Then a house renovator

01:29:07.060 And then he sold

01:29:07.760 He was a project manager

01:29:08.960 For a roofing company

01:29:09.840 Now he's a groundskeeper

01:29:11.000 On my ranch

01:29:11.620 In Idlewild, California

01:29:12.720 Idlewild

01:29:13.900 It's cool

01:29:14.420 Great guy

01:29:15.180 It's a great name

01:29:16.100 It's cool

01:29:16.460 Very entertaining to be around

01:29:17.940 Super

01:29:18.600 You love him

01:29:19.300 I love him

01:29:20.040 Yeah you really love him

01:29:21.340 I do love him

01:29:22.140 No GP is a great

01:29:23.540 He's a top tier kind of guy

01:29:24.680 I like him

01:29:25.220 He's a real man's man 1.00

01:29:26.540 Guy's gay 1.00

01:29:27.260 He'd kill a snake 1.00

01:29:29.120 He probably loves you 0.74

01:29:30.700 He loves Joe Rogan 0.99

01:29:31.500 Did he ever fucking 1.00

01:29:32.240 Do he ever fuck you up? 1.00

01:29:34.660 Not like seriously 1.00

01:29:36.320 He threw him down the stairs

01:29:37.360 It was not

01:29:38.360 It was not

01:29:38.980 There was like two stairs

01:29:40.840 There was like two stairs

01:29:41.740 It was like steps

01:29:42.500 Onto a landing

01:29:43.120 When do steps become stairs?

01:29:44.640 Yeah that's it

01:29:45.220 See that's right

01:29:45.720 That's the type of question

01:29:46.540 Oh oh so you got thrown down some steps

01:29:48.440 That doesn't sound as dramatic

01:29:49.960 You know what I'm saying

01:29:51.100 You got you kind of 0.99

01:29:51.740 You got you didn't get yosh

01:29:52.920 You got like 0.75

01:29:53.360 You got little

01:29:54.040 You tipped over

01:29:54.760 You tipped over

01:29:55.480 His dad was like

01:29:56.700 He slipped

01:29:57.180 He fell

01:29:58.920 I didn't do it

01:29:59.840 He ain't my son

01:30:00.540 Yeah but my mom threw me

01:30:01.580 My mom threw me on a bed once

01:30:03.240 And I bounced

01:30:03.980 And my head hit

01:30:05.060 And dented the wall

01:30:05.840 The dent is still there to this day

01:30:07.120 Oh so your mom 0.99

01:30:07.700 Fucked you up worse 1.00

01:30:08.400 In your childhood home 1.00

01:30:09.240 It's still there

01:30:09.720 Oh yeah it's still there

01:30:10.740 That's fun

01:30:11.180 I'll post it on social media

01:30:12.040 I'll tag you

01:30:12.520 When you go back to your childhood home

01:30:14.240 Does it look exactly like it was

01:30:15.900 When you were a kid

01:30:16.420 Exactly

01:30:16.760 The bed sheets

01:30:17.440 The comforters

01:30:18.220 That's lovely

01:30:18.760 Still have little cartoon taxis on them

01:30:20.940 That's awesome

01:30:21.560 Hey man

01:30:22.020 You left during college

01:30:23.100 No no no 1.00

01:30:23.360 What the fuck 0.99

01:30:23.900 I know it's a twin bed too 1.00

01:30:25.100 It's a twin bed

01:30:25.840 Are you okay

01:30:27.600 Up until 18

01:30:28.820 I slept in the twin bed

01:30:29.660 At my dad's

01:30:30.200 I mean

01:30:30.980 I don't think it's that abnormal

01:30:32.240 No

01:30:32.740 It's kind of nice

01:30:33.240 I was just talking about

01:30:34.160 The bed sheets

01:30:34.660 You love taxis

01:30:35.460 Taxis wallpaper

01:30:36.300 Love taxis

01:30:37.040 Really you just love taxis

01:30:38.520 That much 0.99

01:30:39.020 Love taxis garbage 0.96

01:30:39.880 You ever see the show Taxi 0.97

01:30:41.600 Cash Cab

01:30:42.200 We watch Cash Cab

01:30:43.000 Cash Cab all the time 1.00

01:30:43.860 What fucking year are we in 0.99

01:30:45.180 Different show 0.99

01:30:45.620 Well as I'm just saying

01:30:46.560 I like taxis

01:30:47.440 It's one of the

01:30:48.060 That's a white 0.85

01:30:48.760 That's a white privilege blanket

01:30:50.220 Yeah WSP bro

01:30:51.220 I love taxis

01:30:52.460 Whatever bro

01:30:53.300 UPS WPS

01:30:54.500 Yo, I want to say this

01:30:56.500 Can I ask you one final question

01:30:58.340 Over from my side of the couch

01:30:59.640 And you still didn't ask me where I think we go when we die

01:31:01.780 I'm going to let it sit

01:31:02.940 No, he did

01:31:03.720 No, he asked me what my last thought is before 1.00

01:31:05.660 And I said it's fuck 1.00

01:31:06.540 Are you going to answer the question again? 0.99

01:31:10.260 What are you going to do?

01:31:11.040 No, wait, sorry, what?

01:31:12.260 No, I was going to ask him one last question

01:31:13.600 What do you want?

01:31:15.540 Actually, you know what?

01:31:16.160 Hold on, as the last thing on the show today

01:31:18.740 What do you want to happen right now?

01:31:20.720 Anything can happen

01:31:21.580 It's your choice

01:31:22.380 I don't think anything can happen

01:31:24.420 Whatever you want to happen, I'll make it happen right now

01:31:26.960 Anything

01:31:27.640 Anything

01:31:29.320 What do I want?

01:31:35.340 The last thing I want 0.93

01:31:35.960 I want you to give George a kiss

01:31:39.340 I'm okay with that 1.00

01:31:41.560 Remember he's a Christian 1.00

01:31:43.340 I'll kiss where

01:31:44.020 A kiss where 0.64

01:31:45.560 Where else do you kiss guys, man 0.99

01:31:49.880 Damn 0.98

01:31:51.220 You really into that type of thing, huh 1.00

01:31:53.580 Where are you talking about 0.77

01:31:55.420 Where do you kiss guys

01:31:56.700 Act like you don't know

01:31:57.700 What

01:31:58.220 Okay

01:31:59.260 I want to throw this before 0.60

01:32:01.180 On the nape of his neck 0.99

01:32:02.800 Nape

01:32:04.440 Nape of his neck

01:32:06.000 He knows he's a big word guy

01:32:07.320 George you're doing that

01:32:09.080 I told him I'm going to do it

01:32:10.060 I'm going to do it

01:32:10.920 Don't do it

01:32:11.520 Don't do it

01:32:11.840 Use your tongue

01:32:12.340 Okay wait

01:32:13.340 Okay so I don't have to do it

01:32:14.200 I don't want anything

01:32:14.780 I don't want anything

01:32:15.420 What are you going to ask me though

01:32:16.320 Well the last thing I was going to say

01:32:17.840 Was when you first

01:32:19.600 And this is a good way to tie it off

01:32:21.040 Because I feel like you have to get back to this

01:32:22.380 when you were sitting over there after we did the wish episode i heard you were on the phone

01:32:28.160 and you literally i didn't expect this from you sounded like you were talking like in a godfather 1.00

01:32:32.760 voice you were like i fucking told them get this motherfucker out of here and i walked over and i 0.99

01:32:38.800 went like this you were like you were like actually let him stay let him stay and watch 1.00

01:32:44.240 and i walked over and i was like not get him out and i was joking with who the fuck were you 0.95

01:32:48.200 command you put a hit out on somebody who was i she heard me was who was on the phone with 0.97

01:32:52.180 No, I don't know.

01:32:52.700 You're like, I have to go outside real quick and make a call.

01:32:54.420 See?

01:32:54.920 Whoa.

01:32:55.640 She said you had to go outside real quick and make a call.

01:32:58.180 But when I walked over, you were like, let him sit and watch.

01:33:00.660 I don't want him to get off that easy this time.

01:33:03.120 I'm not kidding. 0.95

01:33:04.360 I'm dead fucking serious, bro. 0.96

01:33:07.400 What are you doing? 0.97

01:33:07.920 What are you up to, man?

01:33:09.480 What are you doing?

01:33:11.040 Somebody had to sit and watch. 1.00

01:33:13.000 What the fuck is going on? 1.00

01:33:14.560 Sometimes you cross the red rabbit, you're going to get hopped on. 1.00

01:33:17.380 You understand?

01:33:18.020 Wow.

01:33:19.480 Somebody had to sit and watch.

01:33:21.080 You want to know?

01:33:23.560 You'll never know

01:33:24.620 All I gotta tell you is

01:33:28.220 Don't

01:33:29.640 Don't try to hop out the red rabbit

01:33:31.840 It's gonna go bad for you

01:33:34.380 I don't know who I was talking to on the phone

01:33:36.640 You probably figured that out

01:33:37.700 I was actually talking to Bobby, truth be told

01:33:39.360 I was on the phone with Bobby because I had texted him and told him I was coming over here

01:33:43.140 And he

01:33:43.880 He said to Bobby you should come sit and watch

01:33:46.100 He said he

01:33:47.120 Tell you he said hello

01:33:49.020 And that he misses you

01:33:50.480 and that he wanted me to physically harass you in place of him.

01:33:54.900 And I said, I'm not going to do that to the guy.

01:33:56.720 But he did.

01:33:58.040 I actually wanted me to grab you. 1.00

01:34:00.660 He said, if you can see his dick, grab it. 1.00

01:34:02.980 That's literally what he said. 1.00

01:34:03.960 I would love to hang out with both of you guys and chill.

01:34:08.980 But before this podcast, I will admit this was the most anxiety-driven podcast

01:34:13.680 I've ever been ready for.

01:34:14.760 Why?

01:34:15.660 Because I didn't know, because you're best friends with Bobby.

01:34:17.960 i've been falling off the last podcast because i've just been going through things and like i 0.61

01:34:22.000 really thought that you're gonna come in and just shit on me and also like also you're the nicest

01:34:26.160 person i've met on the sidelines before the cameras ran so right when we met i was just kind 0.99

01:34:30.780 of like oh fuck thank god okay cool like no i wasn't gonna shit on you it's not my nature i 0.97

01:34:33.980 said that to a guy today he was like oh comedian you gotta it's like i don't know it's not my i'm 1.00

01:34:38.900 not like a take a shot if you fucking shit on me i'm gonna shit on you but i'm never gonna start 0.99

01:34:44.500 the war that's a silly yeah if you have the power you only use it when you feel like you have right 1.00

01:34:49.920 it's like you don't just go swinging at people you're not gonna just go bobby that random guy

01:34:54.380 no no no because he's powerless also no i took shots at him he needs he needs the thing no no

01:35:00.660 i stepped up to the plate and got all the smoke and i loved it it was a learning curve he's 0.91

01:35:04.800 fucking fast bro i was trying to like keep up with him not that fast he's not i don't grabs a lot he 0.94

01:35:09.080 does a lot of that stuff his brain isn't that quick the synapses don't fire that as much as 0.99

01:35:12.800 they should but that's koreans what are you gonna do

01:35:15.180 classic way to end it hey guys shout out andrew santino thank you thank you guys what a show 0.73

01:35:25.020 thank you i appreciate it it's fucking amazing man yeah yeah true it's true go watch my special

01:35:30.460 on netflix jay every day in january something is coming out for me especially the 13th which 0.80

01:35:39.640 is also my birthday by the way is it really yes sir how old are you gonna be 40 oh no it's your

01:35:44.160 close are you doing something special for your 40s well i mean whatever that comes it's not this year

01:35:48.160 oh you'll oh i thought you said you were 39 nah what are you gonna do for your 40s before i go

01:35:52.760 real fast uh i'm a huge fan of lazy rivers and i'll probably identify the best lazy river in

01:35:58.540 the world and float on it nice by solo or without with friends i'll be with the crew i'll be there

01:36:03.640 with the boys. I like the crew around.

01:36:05.540 I'm not into solos like you.

01:36:07.620 Oh, wow!

01:36:09.640 Run it back! Thanks, guys, for listening

01:36:11.780 to this episode of Impulsive.

01:36:13.660 Hit that subscribe button, and also the like button.

01:36:15.820 Take it easy. Peace.

01:36:17.480 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

01:36:20.020 We have a new podcast. It's called

01:36:21.720 Don't Lie to Me. I'm Lexi Iwanu.

01:36:23.780 We're two best friends, 22 years

01:36:25.840 apart, but so close at heart.

01:36:28.120 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old

01:36:29.780 one, which means we have wildly different

01:36:31.680 references, occasionally different opinions,

01:36:33.640 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:36:36.760 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, Good Taste is my business.

01:36:41.820 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:36:48.380 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald.

01:36:52.820 And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

01:36:56.660 The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

01:37:02.200 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

01:37:05.600 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

01:37:07.820 Does the Pope dress up?

01:37:09.160 He winks on Halloween.

01:37:11.400 He gets right up next to the microphone.

01:37:13.160 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

01:37:16.240 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:37:21.560 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

01:37:26.060 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:37:29.060 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

01:37:34.700 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:37:39.100 Each week, I bring on an amazing guest.

01:37:40.980 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:37:42.180 What?

01:37:42.640 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:37:44.160 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:37:46.180 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:37:47.940 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

01:37:51.460 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:37:57.340 Scam Goddess!

01:37:58.600 I'm Hamza

01:37:59.880 And I'm Martin

01:38:00.580 And we're the hosts of Out of Character

01:38:01.940 The best podcast in the world

01:38:03.820 Is that what they said

01:38:04.740 Wait, they said that?

01:38:05.920 Yeah, yeah, they said that

01:38:07.100 The best podcast with two best friends

01:38:09.320 Who jabber and talk about topical, trendy, funny stuff

01:38:12.460 Give our input on it

01:38:13.820 That's what you've needed, I think, up until now, listener

01:38:16.180 Listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app

01:38:18.740 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts

01:38:21.000 Sometimes I just feel like a burden

01:38:23.000 You're a bird

01:38:23.820 You fly

01:38:24.480 You're a Martin

01:38:25.120 And we are Out of Character

01:38:26.500 director podcast. Dude, you messed up the clip.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - January 10, 2023

E360 Andrew Santino On Fall Of Logan Paul & Kanye, Ex-Girlfriends, Bobby Lee VS George

Episode Stats

Transcript