Impaulsive with Logan Paul - FOUSEY'S FIRST ON CAMERA APPEARANCE IN SIX MONTHS - IMPAULSIVE EP. 37

00:00:00.000 Hey, what's up? I'm Tony Gonzalez.

00:00:01.540 And I'm October Gonzalez.

00:00:02.940 But you can call me Toby.

00:00:04.000 We want you to join us on our new podcast,

00:00:06.660 No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez.

00:00:08.960 Where we get real about marriage, parenthood, sex, divorce,

00:00:12.520 and all the nitty gritty stuff we all think about.

00:00:14.980 But just don't say it out loud.

00:00:16.060 You're probably just going to be some rich guy and he's going to whisk you away.

00:00:19.740 This is awkward.

00:00:20.840 Listen to No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez

00:00:23.640 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:29.360 Black Lit.

00:00:30.680 October is Black Fiction Month, and the Black Lit Podcast explores the minds of Sebo Campbell.

00:00:36.640 How speculative fiction works as you enter into a story with a question.

00:00:40.380 Nisi Shaw.

00:00:41.300 What kind of world would it be if these people had not perished?

00:00:46.520 And Octavia Butler.

00:00:48.320 In science fiction and fantasy, I can do absolutely anything.

00:00:51.580 As they pose the question, what if?

00:00:53.880 Listen to Black Lit on the Black Effect Podcast Network on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:00.380 What up? This is Jay Valentine, co-host of the R&B Money Podcast, alongside my brother, R&B legend, Tank.

00:01:06.160 Together, we've built a space for artists, executives, and fans of R&B music to reminisce and tell the real stories behind the music.

00:01:12.800 I have no money. I was hood famous.

00:01:14.580 They think you're going to get everybody out.

00:01:15.640 We lived in a project. Real Love came out.

00:01:17.780 They're hearing the music, and we had nothing.

00:01:19.720 From Smokey Robinson to Mary J. Blige, B2K to Jill Scott, if you're a super dedicated R&B fan, this is where you belong.

00:01:26.600 Listen to R&B Money from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:34.300 The miles change how you move, but more importantly, they change how you show up for your life.

00:01:39.240 I'm Emily Abadi.

00:01:40.140 On the Hurdle with Emily Abadi podcast, I sit down with elite athletes, record holders, coaches, and everyday runners to unpack the mindset behind pushing through when things get tough.

00:01:50.400 Because the discipline, grace, and grit you build out there on the pavement, that's what helps you show up as your best self everywhere else.

00:01:57.820 I just love to say I never know who's watching.

00:01:59.800 So you want to make sure you you through and through and you just stay true to who you are.

00:02:04.160 Listen to Hurdle with Emily Abadi on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 0.66

00:02:10.700 Do I know the real Yusuf?

00:02:12.420 I don't think so.

00:02:14.080 Does Simi?

00:02:15.620 Um, yeah.

00:02:17.300 How many people know the real Yusuf?

00:02:18.960 Ooh, I don't even know.

00:02:20.340 To be honest, do you want me to be as open?

00:02:22.120 I don't know if I know myself.

00:02:31.440 So what?

00:02:32.040 I went to Dan Bozzarian's party yesterday.

00:02:33.600 So it was great.

00:02:34.540 How was it?

00:02:35.080 It was great.

00:02:35.460 I just said that.

00:02:36.420 Why are you talking like you're vlogging right now?

00:02:38.000 Welcome back to Impulsive.

00:02:39.100 It's the number one podcast in the world.

00:02:42.940 Truth.

00:02:43.480 If you guys are not subscribed, make sure to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts

00:02:46.480 or watch podcasts, iTunes, YouTube, Spotify.

00:02:48.560 You know the drill.

00:02:49.120 We do an audio-only Q&A with the guests after the visual is done.

00:02:51.720 So big ups on the audio iTunes YouTube.

00:02:54.120 You're getting really good at that.

00:02:55.060 I'm kind of on to it.

00:02:55.820 Yeah, that was on.

00:02:56.660 That was good.

00:02:57.520 But yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:58.140 How was your night last night?

00:02:58.960 How was the party, Dan's party for you?

00:03:01.360 Oh, Dan had a party last night?

00:03:02.740 Yeah.

00:03:02.980 i wouldn't know because you didn't bring me to oh that's right yeah sorry about that man you know 0.92

00:03:08.880 who i met there um and i fanboyed and i don't often fanboy um bruce fucking buffer dude 0.80

00:03:15.520 ah the whole fighting does he talk like does he talk like that 24 7 i know but you can hear 0.89

00:03:22.440 that he has the potential to go there like his voice is magical what does he do like that gets

00:03:27.820 him angry before he like turns into the hulk you know what i'm saying that's a great question

00:03:32.300 because, like, watch Bruce Buffer.

00:03:34.760 Like, I might go as far to say

00:03:36.700 is he is more intense than the fighters themselves.

00:03:39.080 And that's why I respect him, bro.

00:03:40.420 He's putting his heart, soul, and vocal cords

00:03:42.460 on the line every single bout.

00:03:45.380 Bruce Buffer.

00:03:47.180 Oh, I meant Bruce Banner, the Hulk.

00:03:49.060 That's what I was like.

00:03:49.900 I had a...

00:03:52.060 And we're back.

00:03:54.260 But, yeah, I know he's going to come on the podcast.

00:03:56.080 Really?

00:03:56.600 Yeah, he's down.

00:03:57.600 I was going to suggest that.

00:03:58.680 That would be very fitting.

00:04:00.220 Yeah, he's a good guest. 1.00

00:04:00.940 By the way, I did get into Dan's fucking house. 0.99

00:04:03.500 No thank you to you, okay? 0.98

00:04:06.240 I'm going to introduce the guest today, guys.

00:04:09.220 Yo, this is big, guys.

00:04:12.880 Introducing our guest.

00:04:15.160 He is a YouTuber with over 10 million subscribers,

00:04:19.060 but has disappeared from the internet for the better part of the year.

00:04:23.380 He is a ghost, a legend, an internet folklore.

00:04:27.320 but ladies and gentlemen

00:04:28.820 today we've

00:04:29.800 secured the bag

00:04:31.140 we've secured the biggie bag

00:04:32.840 it's foosie

00:04:33.920 thank you

00:04:37.980 welcome brother

00:04:39.980 wow

00:04:40.940 thank you guys

00:04:41.700 what's good

00:04:42.360 let me ask you a question

00:04:43.400 what's up

00:04:44.120 Yusuf when's the last time

00:04:45.800 you've been on camera

00:04:46.580 publicly

00:04:47.100 it's to the point

00:04:49.020 where it like

00:04:50.080 it feels uncomfortable

00:04:50.780 right now

00:04:51.320 really

00:04:51.780 yeah it feels awkward

00:04:53.060 hey safe space

00:04:53.960 nothing to worry about

00:04:55.060 nothing to worry about

00:04:55.800 a podcast in the world

00:04:56.800 We're all friends.

00:04:57.540 It's different, you know?

00:04:58.920 The podcast or being on camera?

00:05:00.480 Just being on camera.

00:05:01.600 Just being in that environment.

00:05:02.900 Being like, you know…

00:05:04.260 Even when like…

00:05:05.120 I've been like at Alex's house.

00:05:06.460 When Alex pulls out his vlog camera and it comes on me.

00:05:08.340 I just…

00:05:08.660 I become shell-shocked.

00:05:10.060 No way.

00:05:10.920 I have like this like fear of it now.

00:05:12.740 Why do you think that is?

00:05:14.080 Ooh.

00:05:15.300 We're going to get into it.

00:05:16.140 Yeah.

00:05:17.020 Well, you've been gone for a while.

00:05:18.540 You have a lot to say and talk about.

00:05:19.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:20.580 For sure.

00:05:21.340 I've been gone for a long time.

00:05:22.920 How many months now?

00:05:23.780 I think since officially since, like, September.

00:05:27.600 Wow.

00:05:28.200 Yeah.

00:05:28.720 You had that one Instagram post.

00:05:30.700 That one Instagram post, yeah.

00:05:32.020 That's it, right?

00:05:32.700 That's it, yeah.

00:05:33.480 And that one was hard to do as well.

00:05:35.320 Yeah.

00:05:35.680 That one was really hard.

00:05:36.200 And that was just a picture.

00:05:37.320 Yeah.

00:05:37.920 But it had some really meaningful caption.

00:05:40.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:41.360 Yeah.

00:05:42.400 I mean, no need to be nervous.

00:05:45.340 All right?

00:05:45.600 We got you.

00:05:46.360 I'm chilling.

00:05:47.120 And I'm your friend.

00:05:47.880 And I'm your friend.

00:05:48.760 You made it clear to me you chose to come on Impulsive as the first thing you did

00:05:53.620 back on the internet so thank you for that of course um but yeah man where have you been what

00:05:57.960 have you been doing oh um man it's weird because i literally haven't spoken about it since like

00:06:04.600 you know i left so i've been so the whole incident in you know july happened which should have been

00:06:10.280 like a little minor step back into my life but i made it into like this major catastrophe that

00:06:14.800 the july 15th the july 15th about it like i made that like on the outside looking in it's like you

00:06:19.740 know youtube world things happen you move on i've i latched on to it i kept it on my shoulders

00:06:25.260 walking as if it still happened yesterday like i never allowed myself to get past it and then

00:06:30.080 after that i did the whole i gave away my youtube channels i saw that yeah yeah yeah to other

00:06:36.640 creators yeah dumb decision number one did you have those back or no uh so one of them is gone

00:06:44.420 Which one? 0.96

00:06:44.900 How many subs did it have?

00:06:46.040 So I had FouseyTube.

00:06:47.180 I had Fousey.

00:06:48.000 I had Dose of Fousey. 1.00

00:06:49.360 Damn. 0.99

00:06:49.820 And Dose of Fousey I gave to my good friend Ali. 0.99

00:06:52.500 Okay.

00:06:53.140 And Fousey I gave to another friend of mine.

00:06:55.560 And then FouseyTube I decided to give to the people.

00:06:57.860 Like I was going to give it to the world.

00:06:59.380 So everyone has the password.

00:07:00.880 No.

00:07:01.680 Essentially, they were going to send in their videos and it was going to get uploaded and

00:07:04.620 they were going to get featured and it was going to be like a YouTube within a YouTube.

00:07:07.240 Yeah. 0.94

00:07:07.880 But wouldn't that just be like a bunch of shitty videos compiled together?

00:07:13.060 Well, at the time, I wanted to just like, because I was just out of like, I don't care about this.

00:07:17.800 I don't, you know, I don't care about it.

00:07:18.660 I'm just going to give away everything to everyone.

00:07:20.300 So I wanted people to just to get a shot at it.

00:07:22.480 And they loved it.

00:07:23.340 They loved it at first.

00:07:24.480 But really early on with that, the question of, well, where's the money going to?

00:07:29.660 And then I didn't, I was already off social media.

00:07:31.700 I didn't want to go on and explain, look, these videos are making like $5.99, like per pop.

00:07:37.880 Like they're not getting.

00:07:38.700 Were you removed from Google's preferred program?

00:07:40.860 I've been removed for a long.

00:07:42.000 Same, by the way. No problem.

00:07:43.860 We're still doing it. I think we're not

00:07:45.860 poor yet, huh? Poor?

00:07:48.180 It depends on like what the

00:07:49.560 definition, what your definition is. In my heart, I think

00:07:51.840 I'm... You're rich in your soul.

00:07:54.020 Oh, thanks, Mike.

00:07:55.620 I don't know how else to put it at this point. We can't even fucking eat, 0.97

00:07:57.980 dude. Yeah, we're poor. Yeah, we're fucking 0.99

00:07:59.800 poor. Please take me back, 0.99

00:08:01.780 YouTube. I love you.

00:08:04.280 But yeah, man,

00:08:05.240 that July 15th event, I want to give it

00:08:07.700 some context before we just blow right over.

00:08:09.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:10.480 Um, but I do want to say, I do want to shout out my boy Ali because through all my turmoil

00:08:15.600 and everything, he tried the channel.

00:08:17.280 He wasn't able to make it work.

00:08:18.580 And he was like, yo, this just isn't for me.

00:08:20.400 And he was like, if you want it, you can have it back.

00:08:22.240 So me at the time I was in where I felt like I don't have my socials anymore.

00:08:25.980 I don't have YouTube.

00:08:26.660 I don't want to start over.

00:08:27.460 That was like a saving grace that recently happened.

00:08:29.320 So that was nice. 0.73

00:08:30.680 Shouts Ali.

00:08:31.500 So who has the account with 10 million subscribers?

00:08:34.600 I have that now.

00:08:35.320 That's yours. 0.99

00:08:35.660 Yeah, but it's like voodoo. 1.00

00:08:37.120 I like stay out of that one for now. 0.99

00:08:38.840 For now.

00:08:39.260 Yeah.

00:08:39.460 you're gonna listen you're gonna start feeling better i can't on camera like like it's not it's

00:08:44.860 not like you went through something and now all of a sudden for the rest of your life you feel

00:08:48.920 this way on camera it's like yo you're back on the court after you broke your arm bro you know

00:08:54.240 what i'm saying and you're learning to throw that shot up again i feel you bro you're a natural i've

00:08:58.120 heard that from a lot of people like this the last seven months like i said like i went to bali i

00:09:02.120 thought i was gonna leave the country for three years like i was we can get into that when you

00:09:05.920 get into that but you were going for it i was going for it so i took a leap no you did bro yeah

00:09:11.540 um and and i admire it but i'm also happy to have you back here yeah thank you um maybe and hopefully

00:09:17.400 hopefully this can be like a stepping stone for yeah yeah you to start coming back bro because a

00:09:21.600 lot of people love you and miss you you call yourself the king the king when's the king coming 0.94

00:09:25.480 back bro see i don't know about that no more either you know shit yeah one thing that one thing 0.63

00:09:29.720 the major thing that i think that i took of uh like from all of this i got humbled and i'm not 0.83

00:09:36.580 just saying that like i'm humble i don't like you know but no like i got humbled and put it my like

00:09:40.980 my life got put into a place and into a perspective where i saw things differently like that whole

00:09:45.940 what i look at that event as is my ego shattering like that whole the ideology of who i was what i

00:09:51.780 was capable of what i needed people to see me as like i think that was a huge thing of it that just

00:09:57.040 was gone so the whole the king is back all this stuff i'm just i'm off that what was your intent

00:10:01.680 what was uh put yourself in the mindset of july 15th and uh what were you trying to get people

00:10:06.860 to quote unquote see you as that you know i i think that event was a culmination of the year

00:10:14.580 of absence that i took when i moved to my parents house in jersey i moved to my parents house i had

00:10:19.280 already like i started a new channel i gained that to a million subs and that was more of an ego

00:10:24.040 thing to see like yo I could still do it but I wasn't being me I wasn't doing me I was just doing

00:10:28.580 it for the numbers so when I finally got an opportunity I was on tour and something I should

00:10:37.080 say which is what started it two months prior to that event I got off of my medications and I jumped

00:10:42.980 on Adderall and it was like my saving grace like I look Adderall Adderall how come because uh a

00:10:51.080 homie of mine gave me a pill i tried it and i was like whoa like i'm a shy guy in real life right

00:10:56.500 but this gave me something and i'm not condoning it or anything obviously it's what led up to this

00:11:01.280 but it gave me something i never had i was talkative i was thinking big i had ideas but

00:11:07.140 it just it got more grandiose as it went on yeah so by the time that event came it was just like

00:11:15.040 an explosion like it was just like it was a it was a it was a train wreck waiting to happen

00:11:19.520 what were you what were you taking before the adderall uh i've been on a bunch of stuff man

00:11:24.680 um i was taking a i was taking lexapro like kanye says you don't want to see a dude off his lexapro

00:11:29.660 um and i was taking a mood stabilizer okay so i've taken a bunch and then when i tried the

00:11:35.880 adderall i was like i don't need this so you cold turkey'd off both i cold turkey yeah that's a

00:11:40.020 disaster how come it made me feel that good like how come you went cold turkey how come you stopped

00:11:46.340 taking your medication because legit when i took the adderall i felt like i didn't oh so you you

00:11:52.320 replaced it yeah and i was like oh i'm good and i was like it was it was a slow build so i started

00:11:57.420 i was like i have an idea for a book it's gonna make three million dollars and that was my first

00:12:01.900 idea i go on tour in australia and then i was like it just started little by little these ideas

00:12:08.120 just started getting bigger and bigger and bigger and if i dissected the whole situation how it

00:12:11.980 happened the energies that i had around me and everything that happened it just became this huge

00:12:16.880 influx of i'm gonna do an event that has more eyes on it than the president has on this country

00:12:22.840 i'm gonna change the world with a speech i'm gonna give at the end of the event like it just

00:12:26.400 became like this huge like explosion yeah is it accurate to say that you were plagued by over

00:12:33.340 ambition oh 100 this is something that should have taken years to for somebody to not years

00:12:40.020 It should have taken somebody a long time to sit down.

00:12:42.620 Hey, I have an idea for this event.

00:12:45.240 This is how it could go.

00:12:46.920 A team of people.

00:12:47.700 Yeah, a team of people.

00:12:48.980 I did everything essentially like by myself on Adderall like crazy in seven days.

00:12:55.420 Was the event ever something outside of yourself?

00:12:58.500 Like did you want to make the event for the world or was it always something for you?

00:13:03.880 there was good intention behind it because of how much i was doing behind the scenes

00:13:09.660 of look and the one thing that i want to what i what i always focus on when i'm trying to sleep

00:13:15.440 at night and this is one thing that's haunting because of how everything turned out is before

00:13:19.720 the event ended the way that it did it ended in a bomb threat there were people who used to hate

00:13:26.480 me on stage congratulating me keem was on stage texting me saying like it looks like you pulled

00:13:32.700 this off wave into the camera smiling saying you did good i'm in my hotel room like i did it i got

00:13:39.180 everybody who usually hates each other dramas and everything in one place they're about to have a

00:13:43.400 good night it's about to be fun there's fans who are about to enjoy this it was a good thing

00:13:47.920 and then it just took a turn to the worst and everything just went 180 and so what it was and

00:13:52.100 so so basically it was this bomb threat that was the was the kind of the kill shot for the event

00:13:57.900 I mean, was there was there any like what was your misstep in the process?

00:14:03.660 My misstep was the whole process.

00:14:05.260 My misstep was instead of when I was in Australia doing a tour with Adam Saleh, instead of just staying there and then flying back to New Jersey and waiting for the next leg of the tour, having an idea of like, yo, this wasn't big enough.

00:14:18.520 I'm going to go to L.A. I'm going to get a venue.

00:14:20.480 I'm going to sell this many tickets.

00:14:21.660 I'm going to do the show and I'm going to show everybody the king is back.

00:14:24.400 like it was an ego filled just those those grandiose ideas are like a very prominent and

00:14:33.720 prevalent part of both addiction and uh mental health disorders it's it's something that plagues

00:14:40.360 a lot of people that have you know depression or more more more so uh bipolar disorder manic

00:14:46.120 depression that kind of stuff where people get these massive ideas and they just kind of think

00:14:52.040 They're going to do it themselves in a quick period of time.

00:14:54.440 And so it seems to fit in with the larger story that you're kind of telling about your life.

00:14:59.200 Oh, yeah.

00:14:59.780 It's deep, man.

00:15:00.840 I've wanted to tell it.

00:15:02.060 I've wanted to tell it from the mental health perspective side of things.

00:15:05.020 But even that's hard to do because I don't want to get into it.

00:15:08.600 But whenever I even bring up mental health, like on the Internet or wherever it may be, some people say he doesn't even have mental health issues.

00:15:15.060 That's a manipulation of, you know, audience or that's not true or it's a projection onto something else that's actually there.

00:15:22.940 But there's a huge underlying story is the mental health aspect of it, of being in the light, doing that stuff and then getting the ideas as it happens.

00:15:30.320 Those people are doing a disservice to the conversation that they can't even begin to understand.

00:15:37.400 I mean, when you have someone stepping out into the spotlight to talk about mental health issues and then going as far as saying that they're lying about those and discounting or taking away the credibility of that conversation is quite literally disgusting.

00:15:53.560 And listen, I get it.

00:15:54.880 we've had conversations in the past about people that make up mental health issues for like clout

00:16:00.700 or whatever, because it's kind of like an ongoing conversation. They might even use it for sympathy,

00:16:04.640 whatever. But you have to be very careful, very careful when you talk to somebody or when you go

00:16:11.340 to say this person's lying about their mental health problems. That's a that's a big like

00:16:15.400 thing to say to somebody. Mental health in this country is actually a big thing that I in the

00:16:20.920 past with my grandiose ideas would have been like, I want to tackle this and I want to fix this. But

00:16:24.120 But me trying to get help when I came back from Bali and trying to get help, you know, mentally was one of the hardest and scariest things that I've ever done.

00:16:33.760 And it made me realize, like, if somebody wasn't as privileged as I have to be able to go to these therapists, to be able to go get these medications, to be able to seek help, what are you supposed to do?

00:16:42.640 There was a point when I first got back, I had lost all my weight.

00:16:46.900 I was like, I looked frail.

00:16:48.240 I was full of stress.

00:16:49.540 Everyone was making videos about me online.

00:16:51.360 I was like shell shocked.

00:16:53.060 And I didn't know what I was supposed to do.

00:16:54.500 So I straight up had to look at my parents in the face and be like, take me to the hospital.

00:16:57.860 Like, I need to go to the hospital.

00:16:59.480 They take you to the hospital.

00:17:00.780 You wait for intake forms.

00:17:02.140 You do all these things.

00:17:02.900 They sit you on a bed.

00:17:03.700 And it's just to keep you safe from not harming yourself.

00:17:05.720 But it's not doing anything in terms of getting you better.

00:17:08.800 And you sit there.

00:17:10.340 You wait.

00:17:11.020 Waited hours.

00:17:11.860 And then you get a bill in the mail for $5,000.

00:17:14.560 And it's like, well, what did that do?

00:17:15.860 Was there a specific moment other than, you know, kind of like a long-term weight loss or like just like those overall feelings?

00:17:22.580 Was there a point where you were like, yo, I have to go impatient?

00:17:25.460 Like, were you scared that you were going to do something to yourself?

00:17:31.220 I told my parents I wouldn't take it that deep because they don't like how much I've, you know, opened up about stuff.

00:17:36.080 But there was.

00:17:37.380 There was.

00:17:38.060 It got really bad.

00:17:39.240 It got really bad.

00:17:39.980 And the worst part about it was when I went to Bali and I had disconnected myself from social media, I had made the conscious choice.

00:17:47.800 And this is what tore me up.

00:17:49.460 And your brother actually, I'll tell you how it relates to it.

00:17:52.300 I made the conscious choice to not reply or say anything to anybody who says anything about me.

00:17:58.720 So at that time and over the last months, there have been people, people really close to me who have posted stuff about me, like stuff, even if it's not true, just stuff about me.

00:18:07.840 But in Bali, my mind went on a cycle of do I reply? How do I reply? What channel will I do it on? What would I say?

00:18:13.360 And when I chose not to say anything, it was like a clasp went on my throat and just choked me out.

00:18:19.220 And I felt like I was I didn't have anything anymore.

00:18:22.560 People could say whatever they wanted about me and I would have to just accept it.

00:18:25.960 And that that broke me. And the reason I brought up your brother is because I barely go on social media.

00:18:31.080 But I saw a tweet of his that said, should I go public and expose this person and hurt my brand or should I stay quiet and hurt myself?

00:18:42.020 and i was like if only he knew not if only he knew but i related to myself of how much stuff

00:18:48.040 i've held in for so long when i made that decision and still hold on to to this day

00:18:53.100 of having to just sit on it and be like that's a choice you made that's all a choice i um so

00:18:58.560 obviously like i was following and when all of this stuff was going down and you would do your

00:19:02.500 occasional post in bali i think it was you were like on a mountain for one of them and um it was

00:19:08.720 very clear that you were going through something yeah and i found it disgusting that um our fellow

00:19:15.100 content creators were making content disdaining you and uh your mentality and and and thought

00:19:23.000 process and your mental health issues because you were at a point that i considered um unstable

00:19:33.020 and i i want to encourage people in the youtube community to think about what you say before

00:19:41.980 you do it or post it because i mean like you said man it had an effect on you and

00:19:48.400 like luckily you're still here with us yeah because how many how many times is this happening

00:19:54.520 happening on a much uh more micro scale where like you said like what do you do if you're going

00:20:00.540 through the things you're going through and you don't have access to some of the best therapists

00:20:05.160 in the world or the best clinics in the world. Did you find an answer to that question?

00:20:09.880 I'm still doing it to this day. Like I'm still, so this whole behind the scenes of me has been

00:20:15.680 my family, the friends that I still do have around me trying to rehabilitate me,

00:20:20.320 trying to bring me back and me trying to get help. And the whole process, like I didn't start

00:20:24.820 seeing, well, I went to a, I went to an outpatient and then it was more of a holistic approach where

00:20:30.320 They focus on your body and then you want to get to your mind.

00:20:32.700 And I was like, that's not doing it for me.

00:20:34.640 I went to a therapist in New Jersey.

00:20:36.620 I went to a therapist in Los Angeles.

00:20:38.700 And then finally, I just stopped seeing the therapist because I was like, it wasn't doing anything for me.

00:20:44.600 But I got to a point where I was like, everything begins within.

00:20:48.220 Like, no matter how much medications I take, no matter how much help I seek, no matter who I reach, until I internally tell myself, like, yo, you got to do this for you.

00:20:57.160 You got to start getting better.

00:20:58.440 You got to fix your mental approach.

00:20:59.800 It's never going to change

00:21:01.020 So I'm still in that process now

00:21:02.520 Like me coming here is such

00:21:04.760 Like if you want to look at wins

00:21:06.040 I've had to look at my small wins

00:21:07.720 Me going to the gym was like a victory in my life

00:21:10.380 Because of how much I wasn't doing

00:21:12.080 And how much I was struggling

00:21:13.380 Me, you know, calling a friend back

00:21:17.240 Or texting somebody or doing something

00:21:18.860 So me being on here, right here

00:21:21.200 This is like the Super Bowl

00:21:23.080 Let's go to it

00:21:23.900 It's like the Super Bowl right there

00:21:25.380 That's awesome, dude

00:21:26.200 So thank you for the opportunity to have me on here

00:21:27.940 Thanks for coming, bro

00:21:28.520 I know I jumped right into it

00:21:29.620 And I'm like, no, it's good, bro.

00:21:31.660 It's good.

00:21:32.220 Did you have, uh, did you have trauma, um, earlier in your life that may have contributed

00:21:38.220 to this or was it, would you say that the, that in a lot of ways, the internet and, and

00:21:44.080 the social environment and the YouTube culture kind of, uh, cultivated this in you?

00:21:50.600 I mean, was there stuff that already existed prior, um, trauma, stuff like that, or it

00:21:56.200 It's it started. So when I started YouTube, I was 21. I was at San Jose State University.

00:22:03.600 And I knew that if I wanted to be an actor, which is why I started this whole thing in the first place, I was like I needed to make my own way and my own approach.

00:22:11.020 So I started YouTube at the most formative or formidable, whatever word you want to use, years of my life, my 20s.

00:22:18.840 And me being a recluse, as I am, who isolates himself, who doesn't who doesn't know how to like I had a lot of issues in me within to start living in front of the camera and to the camera.

00:22:29.580 I think it was that that altered my entire 20s, because by the time I was 28, which was last year and I was put into this event, that's all I had known.

00:22:39.820 And that was where the problems had lied.

00:22:42.160 Like I didn't like when I lost YouTube and I lost social media and everything.

00:22:46.260 I, as a person, there was no person.

00:22:48.460 the only person who was was the persona that I had was Fousey was the person who when you watch

00:22:54.160 a video I don't know who in the world that guy is even my own vlogs I just un-privated a ton of

00:22:59.520 vlogs on Dose of Fousey I don't know who that guy is I don't remember those moments I cringe at him

00:23:04.960 because I'm like I don't know that person because I never knew myself I never got to know myself I

00:23:10.380 never got to understand myself never got to build relationships because everything was built on a

00:23:14.300 camera even if I'm hanging out with a girl it's on a camera even if I'm around friends it's on a

00:23:18.420 camera like it's it goes deep what it did and then you have what you brought up of the whole

00:23:24.720 the negativity aspect to it somebody who's already like as strong as he wanted to be and make

00:23:29.760 himself believe and like curse and do all these you know ex-explicative expletive rants somebody

00:23:37.180 who was weak-minded getting attacked attacked attacked attacked attacked that takes a toll

00:23:41.960 and it eventually took its large toll and exploded yeah it's fun it's funny that you uh that you talk

00:23:47.640 about kind of having your most developmental years be in front of a camera and kind of

00:23:53.720 those years that you go through, that you develop your character and who you are as a, as a person,

00:23:59.080 instead developing this persona that you create online. And, you know, obviously I think we,

00:24:05.340 a lot of people in this podcast studio, or a couple at least can relate to that.

00:24:09.520 And I, and I start to think like, this is a new story that's happening quite a bit nowadays,

00:24:13.980 but and you think it is and it kind of is but it also almost mirrors the story we've seen with

00:24:21.240 child actors are forever you know and how and how much that story contributes to mental illness and

00:24:27.420 more so addiction alcoholism abuse like all of that stuff and uh it now it's happening i think

00:24:35.740 with with vlogs and watching people every day you're seeing it in such a palpable and like

00:24:41.580 always on way you know this is most definitely a phenomenon that has yet to be uh named or

00:24:50.360 described but man you see it time and time again it is sort of the same um phenomenon as as the

00:24:59.060 child acts is growing up and and going off the rails essentially how much how much do you think

00:25:04.220 it's fame like the need the want for fame i don't even so that's like the very simplistic

00:25:10.060 label to put on it right yeah definitely yeah like fame uh infiltrates your brain and overtakes you

00:25:16.360 but there's so much more to it man and i and i oftentimes try to put myself in the mindset of

00:25:24.020 where i was when i was daily vlogging because yo i look back at the daily vlogs and i'll go 0.99

00:25:30.620 what the fuck was i doing this shit is cringish as shit this is not me this is that what that 0.99

00:25:36.320 wasn't even me at that age. I wasn't even totally like an age maturity thing. It was a hundred 1.00

00:25:42.920 percent, a persona that I thought people would like. And lucky for me, I was right. But also

00:25:49.640 two years of my life, I was growing up as this new human being that I found. And then now when

00:25:56.760 I got slapped in the face by myself, I had to go back and grow up as Logan. And so for the past

00:26:03.380 year and a half like i've been growing up as logan like rediscovering yourself sort of sort of and

00:26:08.000 in my in my values and and granted i'm not uh wasn't crazy far off but clearly there was a

00:26:14.980 fork in the road somewhere and i went the wrong way and so this past year and a half i've been

00:26:19.800 backtracking and it's good you caught that man though especially at where you're at you caught

00:26:23.700 that which is huge because that's something i never caught you know i lost i lost all those

00:26:27.780 years so now i'm 29 now like i i wrote in my journal entry one time like i feel like i got

00:26:34.660 reborn now at 29 trying to find out who i am who i should have found out when i was 18 like right

00:26:40.000 now he he i have i have a very i have a very uh not similar because it's it's very different but

00:26:46.640 uh it's it's similar in that respect i went i had uh struggled with with severe opioid and drug

00:26:53.380 addiction from the ages of 18 until about 26 when i got clean and uh just like you guys you know

00:26:59.620 those are the years you develop who you are you make the friendships that are going to last the

00:27:03.380 rest of your life you and that's why all of those things that you you do during those years you uh

00:27:09.860 are the things that you take with you and so when i got clean when i was 26 and i i stepped out of

00:27:14.700 rehab and i i went onto the streets and all of my old friends were either you know dead in jail or

00:27:20.880 still struggling with addiction you know my family had basically you know all but disowned

00:27:25.420 me for their safety and for you know for whatever reasons um i had to step out and and enter the

00:27:31.020 world new just like kind of like both of you did and kind of be reborn and uh so i can i can

00:27:35.480 understand it you know that's crazy congrats on being out of that too thank you round of applause

00:27:40.800 everybody there um with what you were saying about fame i think one thing or at least one

00:27:46.880 thing it did for me and that I saw that it did for so many people around me when I was in the scene

00:27:51.680 was when it goes wrong is when you seek the fame for your own validation of your self-worth your

00:27:58.760 self-respect and your self-love and I'm talking about on the basic terms of numbers like people

00:28:03.280 like I used to post a vlog and if that vlog used to get a million views in a day I'm all of a sudden

00:28:08.840 the happiest person on earth and I love myself and I was good but let's say there was a glitch

00:28:13.300 in the YouTube system, let's say not even people not clicking. Let's say there was a glitch and I

00:28:16.880 only got 400,000 that day. I'm shattered. My life is shattered. My self-worth is shattered.

00:28:21.680 My image of myself, my understanding of myself, because you actually, you're living in that world

00:28:26.800 so much, whatever numbers come up, whether you post Instagram picture or tweet in a retweet,

00:28:31.000 it affects you on a psychological level that you'll never be able to explain.

00:28:34.300 Yeah. And I think, I think there's something to say and know when you're stepping away now

00:28:40.160 and you're probably finding yourself like you can't do that when you have this other persona

00:28:45.280 or you're operating in seeking that validation like some of the happiest people in the world

00:28:50.620 are monks that don't talk yeah you know like that i think it's uh there's so many creators out there

00:28:57.020 that are struggling this is this is something i think you can take home is that there's so many

00:29:02.640 youtube creators out there right now that are probably just avoiding what you're doing and

00:29:08.400 eventually they're going to have to face it yeah like you you had to face it you know in your own

00:29:12.980 way jake had to think of think of all the creators out there though usually the ones that are mocking

00:29:17.940 you when you go through that they have to they've yet to face it it's going to be too late when they

00:29:23.440 do bro it's a i mean put yourself where where you were um during that time period if someone told

00:29:31.640 you that this the inevitable was coming would you have believed them no and i either yeah i was

00:29:37.720 invincible yeah my dad even used to tell me he used to be like when you know i went through so

00:29:41.740 many cars i went through ferraris i went through svrs and he always told me save money for the

00:29:45.800 dark times i would laugh at that i'd be like what dark times there are no dark times do you see my

00:29:51.200 numbers do you see how much make it a month i'm killing it dark times came and dark times came

00:29:57.020 hard and it was a reality reality check like getting hit by a bus of like whoa it's like

00:30:01.940 it's a it's a different world the whole social media stardom that you know millennials are

00:30:06.600 brought into now of having this basically you can you can be unemployed but still have a career

00:30:12.860 that's making an insane amount of money by even posting on Instagram but when you when you jump

00:30:18.640 out of that and go back into the real world it's like whoa so so this is this is what people meant

00:30:23.780 about like YouTube money and spending and all these things so again humbling experience major

00:30:28.400 humbling which could be the best thing that ever happened in my life but I'm yet to find out or I'm

00:30:33.240 finding out now do you think everything happens for a reason um man i've i've i've been battling

00:30:41.680 with that for the longest um my mind has been battling with that i'm in a much much better

00:30:46.180 place now than i was let's say two months ago but everybody's been telling me that and i'm

00:30:51.320 i'm waiting for that silver lining but the problem is i think that what part of my mind is doing in

00:30:57.200 my past self the silver lining being when i'm back on top and back to doing it again not

00:31:03.460 understanding that i can be at the exact place i need to be right now if i know how to change

00:31:08.420 my perspective and look around and be like yo you got all you need that stuff that you're chasing

00:31:12.680 for again is not what's going to supply you with what you need right now which for the first time 0.95

00:31:17.460 is nurturing my soul and my heart and my mind and boom all of that boom yeah like mike drop shit 0.99

00:31:22.940 dude right there yeah that's i think if you can't like right now if you were to die like and if you 0.96

00:31:30.080 have anxiety when you think about that there's probably a lot of things that you need to still

00:31:35.800 address in your own character because i think there's so many people that fear death they fear

00:31:41.860 the end they fear something and i'm sure like do you are you addressing those fears right now

00:31:47.300 or is this something that is more surface um i with death in particular i've been reading i've

00:31:56.840 been reading so much since everything happened and one of the things you have to do is accept

00:32:02.020 the fact i don't want to i don't want to take this there but you know you know what i'm going

00:32:05.480 to say accept that fact because then it really it lets you understand like yo what am i stressing

00:32:11.100 on why am i stressing that i have this little like you know spot on my shirt right now when

00:32:15.580 this isn't even this isn't even a forever thing with one thing we get lost in but uh one thing i

00:32:22.220 did do that i was stressing so much in like last year when everything happened i was like i'm not

00:32:27.220 gonna make it to my 30s and i would tell people that i would tell my mom that i'd be like i'm not

00:32:30.580 gonna make it to my 30 what do you expect me to do at 30 years old 40 years old i'm never gonna

00:32:34.340 make it i'm never gonna get married i'm never gonna have a job my life is over my career is over

00:32:38.200 and that was the fear part of it not even getting to the death stage just the life in between of

00:32:43.420 like, what am I supposed to do there? Cause I was living so presently in the moment when I was

00:32:47.060 doing everything that I was like, I'm never going to make it there. That's so funny that you say

00:32:50.200 that. Cause me and me and him talk about it from time to time. He has the opposite view of things

00:32:54.360 and he's going to live to 150, 150, which is, which is awesome. And I'm sure that'll be great

00:32:59.800 for you. Uh, but, but when I was 24, my mom kept saying to me, um, you know, Oh, you have this new

00:33:07.400 job, like get a, get an IRA set up, like in a 401k and stuff. And like, it would be some, you know,

00:33:12.160 shit job because i was addicted to drugs and stuff and i would never say it to her but i'm 0.97

00:33:15.800 in my mind i'm saying i'm i'm shooting like for like 26 27 here like and that's a wrap you know 0.98

00:33:21.080 what i'm saying so like when i got clean and started looking at yo like there's some longevity

00:33:26.360 here like it's nice if you do start planning a little bit sooner in life for the fact that

00:33:32.500 you're gonna get better you're gonna things are gonna get better things are going to get better

00:33:37.640 guaranteed trust me um and that you kind of get ready for that stuff and plan for it so i think

00:33:43.840 you're doing that now yeah trying it's uh the quote i said at my um at the end of my end of

00:33:48.800 year video i said uh it could always get worse but it will always get better like i feel like that's

00:33:53.400 it can only get worse to an extent there's a limit there's a there's a it's called rock bottom

00:34:00.480 yeah exactly rock bottom essentially um would you say you hit rock bottom 100 100 and what i look at

00:34:10.080 that is you know i'm not trying to like make my situation be bigger than you know everyone else's

00:34:16.740 like people are going through their own struggles every single day people have their own you know

00:34:21.120 levels of what they're going through and to them that's you know their own personal rock bottom

00:34:24.600 but i went from living a type way like when my mind was trying to rationalize this last year

00:34:30.060 which I finally got past, I was like, man, you were living in 1600.

00:34:35.020 I was paying stupidly $13,500 a month for that penthouse that I isolated myself in.

00:34:43.800 And like, I don't know if people know this, but Logan was like down the hall from me. 0.89

00:34:47.340 I wouldn't even go knock on Logan's door.

00:34:49.260 I wouldn't knock on Rudy's door.

00:34:50.680 I wouldn't knock on Alex's door.

00:34:52.880 I did, but nobody else.

00:34:53.940 I would isolate myself in there.

00:34:55.360 But I went from living there, starring in Hollywood movies, having the YouTube subscribers, traveling, doing all this stuff to in an instant, my life getting switched to 180, selling all my cars, not knowing what I'm doing for my life or my future, having to have a conversation with my parents saying, yo, I might have to sell our house that I bought you guys because financially, I don't know if I can afford it.

00:35:20.300 going through my depression going through my anxiety going through the uh i i don't want to

00:35:25.440 use this word and people say anything but ptsd from the traumatic experiences that happened

00:35:29.820 in july like having my nightmares and going through all that that was my rock bottom

00:35:33.660 my rock bottom was having no will to live anymore and being like my life is over i don't have

00:35:38.200 anything anymore i don't know how to restart how much uh how much help has simmy been your

00:35:42.680 girlfriend throughout all this she if any i don't i don't know no she's she what's that like

00:35:49.160 she's amazing

00:35:50.520 she's one of those people who

00:35:53.400 you know how like

00:35:54.980 I would assume you guys are going to be lifelong friends

00:35:57.140 I would also assume that

00:35:58.500 wait no let's not do that 0.92

00:36:00.360 Mike's going to fuck something up dude 0.93

00:36:02.040 I know he is 0.80

00:36:03.660 be serious don't say that

00:36:05.920 don't joke about that

00:36:07.020 I'm not joking 0.96

00:36:08.460 you're going to fuck something up 0.98

00:36:10.220 I cut out of here 1.00

00:36:12.400 nah it's alright that happens

00:36:13.640 it was a joke bro 1.00

00:36:16.900 it fucking better be a fucking joke 1.00

00:36:18.960 Don't worry bro 1.00

00:36:20.740 Things will get better

00:36:21.940 She's amazing

00:36:23.900 She showed me

00:36:24.560 What real love is

00:36:25.580 She showed me

00:36:26.440 What real understanding is

00:36:27.500 True care is

00:36:28.480 And without her

00:36:29.620 I wouldn't even be here right now

00:36:30.980 Because she like 1.00

00:36:31.720 She helped rehabilitate me 1.00

00:36:33.000 Helped take care of me 0.98

00:36:33.800 And helped give me

00:36:34.720 Like as something real

00:36:36.400 As opposed to like

00:36:37.480 I saw a lot of like

00:36:38.600 You know in like

00:36:39.140 The Thanos snap

00:36:39.920 When everything just evaporated

00:36:41.400 When everything went bad

00:36:43.140 In my life

00:36:43.840 If I were to tell you

00:36:46.220 How many people

00:36:47.040 Thanos

00:36:47.460 Like just

00:36:48.320 out of thin air like we're not there people who like needed me loved me people will have help

00:36:54.420 people i've given money to who when i didn't fit their agenda anymore just gone out of my life

00:37:00.100 it was insane but she's been she's been a rock she's been there you said uh you said that you

00:37:06.060 knocked on alex's door yeah right did you ever this is a big conversation the mental health

00:37:11.640 community how bad did you some days wish that someone came and knocked on your door and asked

00:37:16.080 you yo are you or even if you didn't wish it like knock on his door like be the person that knocks

00:37:22.580 on the door like like what would have meant to you if if if uh rudy or somebody else came in

00:37:26.880 yo man like i know you're going through something right now and i'm here for you and i love you and

00:37:31.280 you're appreciating you know what i'm saying people people tried yeah people tried and my

00:37:35.180 defense mechanism was to kick everybody the hell out like people like you know tried a lot of times

00:37:39.960 i remember when when george had first came to la like he would come to my apartment and everything 0.50

00:37:44.920 and ask me, oh, you want to go hang out with me

00:37:47.060 and Logan and stuff? And I'll be like, no, I'm good.

00:37:49.160 I have something to do. And as soon

00:37:51.080 as he leaves, got under my blanket and watched Netflix

00:37:53.240 and just became a recluse. Being

00:37:55.080 that shy person. And then once the next

00:37:57.200 day comes out, when the vlog camera comes out,

00:37:59.360 yo, what's up everybody? I'm living the best

00:38:01.180 life ever. But it was a complete

00:38:03.200 discrepancy. So shout out to everybody in my life

00:38:05.220 who ever did try and ever, because there were

00:38:07.040 real people there who were there for me. And I just

00:38:09.040 you got to want to help yourself to be able to

00:38:11.120 get help. And the one thing I told my therapist

00:38:13.020 so much now is I wish during those times I was using the money that I had at the time

00:38:18.340 for therapy, for psychiatry to get better during those times, as opposed to having to

00:38:22.840 get better now without everything that I had.

00:38:25.040 Yeah, and it's another thing that you talk about.

00:38:28.220 I know Spencer asked you if it was a good thing that this happened to you, and you started

00:38:31.780 talking about silver lining.

00:38:33.100 I think you were mentioning some stuff earlier that's super important to this conversation,

00:38:37.700 And that is how truly difficult it can be to find help right now in our current society.

00:38:45.580 And that's for people even like you and me who have the privilege, the best insurance, the money that they need to get to get assistance.

00:38:53.760 I mean, there were still times, you know, a couple of years ago when I was looking for help to talk to somebody when I was dealing with really bad anxiety and depression and stuff.

00:39:02.640 and i i would just remember they would say it would be you know february and they would say

00:39:07.440 oh we can get you in in april and i would say i can't go to work today like i don't i don't feel

00:39:17.000 okay you know what i'm saying and there's always like oh well if you need really bad help like

00:39:21.520 severe help you can go to the hospital but like people don't want to shut down their life to have

00:39:27.840 a mental health emergency yeah okay and so like a hospital is only gonna give you a pill something

00:39:33.860 to just extend it or strap you down to something and so i and so like my point on it i guess is

00:39:38.920 just the silver lining in a way might be you being a a proactive part of the conversation to change 0.99

00:39:47.060 that because you have big channels and a lot of people who fuck with you you know what i'm saying 0.98

00:39:51.040 and so um i don't know just throwing that out there i don't think it has to be but you you 0.97

00:39:54.780 you seem to take a interest in it you know what i'm saying do you think you've spent enough time

00:40:00.020 away i don't think there'll ever be enough time away because like my sister who was a huge help

00:40:09.040 through this whole process she has a completely different approach to everything and her approach

00:40:12.900 when back in december i was telling her i was like yo i don't have anything to do i'm going

00:40:17.460 crazy i gotta go back to vlogging she would tell me you're not ready go get a regular job go meet

00:40:22.740 real people really real oh yeah she wanted me she said she said i don't care how much you get paid

00:40:27.460 go get a real job and i said what does that entail she said a real job no matter what no matter what

00:40:32.580 that is um she wanted me to get a real job meet real people meet real friends write a book in

00:40:38.080 the process that i've been talking about for ages about everything and then finally when i get to

00:40:43.780 that point come out in a creative way that i'm comfortable with but then i don't know if that

00:40:49.020 time will ever come where you know this leads you to that thing whenever i listen to motivation now

00:40:53.440 it's about taking that first step taking that first step well how do you know when you're ready

00:40:56.920 for that first step to do it again because what she fears is that i jump back into it and then

00:41:01.900 i'm on drama alert the first day and my weak mind boom i'm knocked out i'm on the ground and i'm 1.00

00:41:07.560 like oh i couldn't handle that you know i just fuck drama alert fuck all the bullshit by the 0.99

00:41:13.480 a youtube drama review sites what like why do you why does that affect you man i i that i stood up 1.00

00:41:24.720 to fight against that since 2016 and that's when i got people but they have no no heart but look

00:41:31.580 man when i when i'm telling you like i i don't i'm not getting back into that war because there's

00:41:35.900 no way i can fight that i tried fighting that war on my own in 2016 and i got absolutely

00:41:42.640 rock here's the problem here's the problem rock it's not a war yeah you see if it's there's no

00:41:48.080 war it just leaves people talking well well the this is yeah so what if you're on the internet 0.85

00:41:53.260 nowadays no matter who you are you're gonna you're gonna get fucking toasted yeah no matter who you 0.59

00:41:59.260 are yeah it's not at some point you just have to exactly accept it move on and do you this is a 0.88

00:42:05.800 conversation me and him have had before and and have gone back and forth on and he's he's uh

00:42:10.980 we've had multiple conversations where um i've had anxiety and he's said to me like

00:42:17.420 you know why do you have anxiety about this just don't have anxiety and so like i know this is a

00:42:22.940 little bit different but he said no but but no you're like you have nothing to worry but you

00:42:27.360 said well because you don't have anything i get that but the issue is i'm trying to apply logic

00:42:32.100 to an illogical situation right is that what you're gonna say basically and and so what i

00:42:36.760 and basically what i'm getting at is all of that comfort to him and all of that hey man don't

00:42:41.400 listen to what they're saying is helpful and i think it can have slight um positive um you know

00:42:48.500 factors or or effects on his his mood and his stability but at the end of the day like in his

00:42:55.120 mind that stuff really fucks with him you know what i'm saying absolutely no but you are right

00:42:59.900 you're right and the problem is the problem with mental illness is he knows you're right

00:43:04.160 but that still doesn't comfort him enough to to to just say that you know what i'm saying that

00:43:09.600 they're just words yeah i wish um i wish i was able to just look past it and i don't i don't

00:43:15.500 know why it affected me as bad as it did in my career and life and i think it was because i was

00:43:19.860 never my real self so whenever i was getting attacked me deep down as yusuf knew i was getting

00:43:25.420 attacked for the persona who i wasn't but the world didn't know that so my fight was against

00:43:30.980 the fight of who's my true self

00:43:32.900 and how do I let people know that. Like, yeah, I know

00:43:35.020 you're judging me because I just did A, B, and C, but

00:43:37.020 I'm not like that. But I still did.

00:43:38.720 It goes deep. I got a question.

00:43:41.060 Yeah. Do I know the real Yusuf?

00:43:43.020 I don't think so. Does

00:43:45.020 Simi? Um, yeah.

00:43:47.900 How many people know the real

00:43:49.020 Yusuf? Ooh, I don't even know.

00:43:50.940 To be honest, do you want me to be as open? I don't know

00:43:53.000 if I know myself.

00:43:54.840 The reason I say she knows me is because

00:43:57.260 you know, she worked for me for

00:43:59.100 I think three years. 0.94

00:44:00.440 she would come into my apartment every day to be like you know what's going on and she would see

00:44:04.900 the real me and the real me like even the times in la was depressed as hell like no matter what i

00:44:10.980 had i was just depressed and i was just like there was no there was no filter there was no like

00:44:15.040 anything to turn on and i would just be like she would see that so that's what i mean by she knows

00:44:19.300 me but in terms of knowing me no i'm still trying to i'm still trying to find that so maybe she even

00:44:23.700 knows you better than you know you and sometimes that's a lot of ways yeah i wrote a song about

00:44:30.420 that i really did it's a lot of this conversation man is just is almost like shocking to me because

00:44:36.900 of how much i relate to a lot of your story and i think he i i feel like you probably do too and

00:44:42.580 just putting out this persona day after day i mean there's so many things just just that part

00:44:48.060 but i but there's so many times i've gone to bat for him um to people that have said you know like 0.98

00:44:53.940 logan paul is this logan paul is that and i put out some tweets that said you don't know shit 0.98

00:44:59.520 you don't know shit all you know is like I said like I used to I said a couple times it's like 0.97

00:45:05.140 going at Heath Ledger and making assumptions about Heath Ledger's character based on the role 0.99

00:45:12.560 he plays as the Joker do you know what I'm saying like he's a he when he's daily vlogging or when 0.85

00:45:18.240 he's doing skits and shit like that he's acting he's acting that's not that's not who he is this 0.80

00:45:23.360 is more who he is make assumptions based on certain things that he says on the podcast but 0.96

00:45:28.800 that's why at some point you have to stop focusing on any negative talk like at some point that and

00:45:36.080 that's where i can relate it's like everybody can relate it's so hard to shut all that off but

00:45:42.200 the people who truly shut that off are the ones who are really actually winning in life right now

00:45:47.120 yeah i'm just like well i'm like said it before bro crucify me like good luck i'm gonna be all

00:45:56.960 I feel like you're pretty damn close

00:46:00.020 to that though. Close to what?

00:46:01.800 Being able to shut that all off. Shut off.

00:46:04.440 Negativity.

00:46:05.520 Oh, I'm like, dude, 1.00

00:46:07.660 I can't remember the last. I don't really see it affect you.

00:46:09.860 I can't remember the last thing that someone

00:46:11.880 said on the internet that got under my skin.

00:46:14.320 It was probably on

00:46:16.180 January 2nd 0.99

00:46:17.980 or whenever the shit went. That was probably 0.99

00:46:19.840 the last time where I was affected

00:46:21.840 by people's tweets on the internet.

00:46:24.180 I feel like that was like an upgrade to your body armor.

00:46:26.220 Like legit

00:46:26.940 It was an upgrade 0.99

00:46:29.960 Because shit got through 0.98

00:46:30.820 Because I wasn't who I wanted to be 0.99

00:46:32.860 And Oreo

00:46:33.940 Speaking of Oreo

00:46:37.300 You might have some Oreo

00:46:38.400 In one of your teeth

00:46:39.640 It's only when you are really happy

00:46:43.040 Only when you're really happy

00:46:44.940 Like I can't see it right now

00:46:46.540 That's not just a slight piece

00:46:50.100 You have to be very happy

00:46:51.740 So don't worry

00:46:52.320 It looks like a whole piece of pepperoni

00:46:55.100 My assistant Danny made

00:46:58.120 Pizza rolls

00:46:59.840 No it's fine I'm too far

00:47:02.080 Shaped like roses for Valentine's Day

00:47:04.140 Oh speaking of roses

00:47:05.540 Oh that is a big piece

00:47:09.120 What is that

00:47:10.460 Let me examine 1.00

00:47:12.200 That's a black bean skin 0.95

00:47:14.480 Looks like someone did surgery on a grape

00:47:17.140 It's probably a piece of steak

00:47:19.100 Alright so

00:47:20.220 You changed your name to Rose

00:47:23.520 Legally

00:47:24.820 no hell no why did you want people to call you rose for a moment in time there

00:47:30.100 i was going i was the way i look at it now man i was going batshit crazy

00:47:35.280 like i was a loose cannon going batshit crazy just just just operating um i i can go deep

00:47:41.380 into the story of telling you that like while everything was going down and i was on the

00:47:45.140 adderall there i felt like there was something inside me as as like as i could take that even

00:47:50.860 like a demon or like i don't want to say demon but i do want to say spirit um because there was

00:47:57.420 some there was some weird stuff happening and there was some weird stuff coming out of uh coming

00:48:02.260 out of me my personality my mouth and it was like it was like i wasn't in control of myself like

00:48:06.800 there's some footage that i don't know where it is but that i was doing some crazy stuff like the

00:48:12.440 day that i snuck into a club and went face to face with drake and that was a whole thing that

00:48:17.420 got mocked at and laughed at and everything I can't believe I'm saying this I went back into

00:48:22.780 the Airbnb that I had I sat in the shower and my eyes just kind of rolled back and had water coming

00:48:28.840 out of me as if it wasn't me inside myself I went downstairs in a robe sat down cross-legged and

00:48:34.560 told everybody who was in the house the story of how I just met Drake as if like when I had got

00:48:38.160 home that day I'm just gonna say this so I can get it out of my skin and I you know if I ever did a

00:48:42.280 documentary this is the stuff I would have showed but it's not gonna happen I remember Simi I had

00:48:47.280 pulled up to the house from the club and Simi was there and I had said don't touch me don't let

00:48:52.600 anybody touch me right now there's something going on in me like I was I was scared like there was

00:48:57.380 something outside of myself happening within me that you know you see when you when I look at the

00:49:02.360 footage which I'm scared to look at now like you see you see that that person isn't there so me

00:49:07.380 changing my name to Rose was just a part of that was just a part of the psychosis that was going on

00:49:13.320 the instability that was going on what what was the timing of uh that in relation to uh what 0.88

00:49:20.540 happened on that on adam 22 on the on no jumper because i saw that shit and i was like like when 0.88

00:49:27.240 was that yeah like you're talking to me now right yeah do you see that person no at all no at all 0.59

00:49:34.120 that was like i was like yo we got something here yeah that was that was right after the event had

00:49:40.000 The event had transpired

00:49:42.620 That was right after

00:49:43.400 I had

00:49:43.800 I remember

00:49:44.260 I was still

00:49:44.960 I was still in it

00:49:45.980 I was obviously not out of it yet

00:49:47.600 The shock hadn't hit in

00:49:48.660 Of everything yet

00:49:49.440 And

00:49:49.880 I remember seeing that

00:49:51.120 Shane Dawson was

00:49:52.140 At Adam 22

00:49:53.000 And I was like

00:49:53.700 I'm gonna crash this

00:49:54.880 And then

00:49:55.880 My energy

00:49:56.700 Shane Dawson?

00:49:57.560 Yeah

00:49:57.800 He was on Adam 22

00:49:59.040 And then I crashed that podcast

00:50:00.660 Oh

00:50:01.020 Oh wait

00:50:01.520 I was

00:50:02.460 I was talking about the same

00:50:03.640 Yeah I was

00:50:04.720 Yeah that's the same one

00:50:05.780 Oh it was

00:50:06.480 So when I was there

00:50:07.360 With Shane

00:50:08.000 All of a sudden

00:50:08.840 Keem pulled up and then

00:50:10.800 Sam Pepper pulled up. Man, I had

00:50:13.000 energy at that time. Like there was

00:50:14.640 it was attracting a lot. So as

00:50:17.160 I was sitting there, Keem had come up. I had

00:50:19.140 my interaction with him and then

00:50:21.140 Sam had come up. I had my interaction with him

00:50:23.060 which again like

00:50:24.300 that's not

00:50:26.460 me. I see a different like person

00:50:28.960 just by like looking at your

00:50:30.980 face, like your eyes.

00:50:32.600 You know what's crazy?

00:50:35.940 What's crazy?

00:50:37.100 Everybody has

00:50:38.600 told me that like even um my who i view as my mentor like my and he doesn't mentor my career

00:50:46.560 or anything i don't want to put it oh this is because him but tyler perry saw me and he's seen

00:50:51.880 me through everything and he knows what i go through but he recently saw me and looked me in

00:50:55.520 the eyes and he said this is the best i've ever seen you as if like something is just different

00:50:59.700 like even when i felt bad within myself and depressed people looked at me and said you look

00:51:03.720 good as if like that bad that i'm feeling is just the aftershock of all the bad that left me

00:51:11.660 yeah so yeah i think it's like are you still taking anything that's that's helping you or

00:51:19.300 have you come completely clean from any of of the medications you were on yeah if you want to talk

00:51:25.220 yeah i know that's no i i take medications yeah i take medications and the right medications and

00:51:29.580 i monitor how i feel like in the past i would just take whatever and not even monitor how i am

00:51:33.140 But now I'm aware of, I don't like this medication, this medication.

00:51:36.540 Because I do—I am a believer in medications.

00:51:39.660 I do believe in mental instability.

00:51:41.780 I do believe in, like, you know, our chemicals being imbalanced.

00:51:44.560 And sometimes you just need something to, like, level you out and put you better.

00:51:48.240 Because I know myself when I was off medications, and I know myself now.

00:51:51.800 And it just—you just feel—there's a misconception with medication, but it makes you feel normal.

00:51:57.300 It makes you feel, like, just regular.

00:51:59.200 It makes you feel at peace, like, you know, wholesome.

00:52:01.340 them yeah i mean the reason i ask is because there's so many kids out there that are getting

00:52:05.740 prescribed this stuff that you know their parents are like i don't know what's going on so i think

00:52:09.840 it's important for people that are taking medications or or experiencing the pitfalls

00:52:14.700 from them to be talking about that 100 that discussion super important and and i know

00:52:19.380 uh spencer always has great points about the ancillary um and and supplementary um things

00:52:27.520 that you should be doing as either in connection with or in replacement of meds and so like

00:52:32.480 like you said great discussion but i'm sure you found some um solace uh some sort of like happiness

00:52:39.560 in working out and doing those kind of things as well right yeah hey man um i really i really want

00:52:45.260 to thank you i'm not ending here but like i just want to take a moment to thank you for opening up

00:52:49.140 and being brave um and and letting you know that we really appreciate hearing you and talking to

00:52:53.240 and i really mean that because uh the things you're saying are i i can assume probably not

00:52:58.900 easy to say and i want you to know that we we definitely appreciate it thank you and and and

00:53:04.320 how massively i've just started to realize this after being on the podcast for a little bit and

00:53:09.440 talking a little bit more about it on my own socials how massively impactful just this

00:53:14.600 conversation is not you leaving here and doing some sort of fundraiser or uh or leading some

00:53:21.000 sort of like legislation you know stuff in congress just having this conversation there's

00:53:26.920 someone watching this show right now who is feeling better right now because they're watching

00:53:32.780 one of the people that they look up to talk about their struggles like that is the amount of power

00:53:38.860 you should feel in that is is is massive massive dude i have a question yeah and it's kind of

00:53:45.320 sensitive um and i wasn't gonna ask it was in the back of my mind but i i feel we're at a place

00:53:50.560 now where i i want to um when you came over to my house prior to the july 15th event

00:53:58.740 i think it was like a couple days prior um you were talking to me about how big the event was

00:54:05.000 going to be uh what your goals were and i think you even got me on camera and i was like yo my

00:54:11.020 man's got something huge it's gonna be big you know time to make history again but um when you

00:54:18.680 were talking to me about these lofty goals and i was looking you in the eyes i knew something

00:54:24.540 wasn't right yeah i knew something wasn't right and i'm ashamed to say i didn't speak up i didn't

00:54:34.400 i i made the video hyping up the thing and i i didn't tell you how i really felt about your

00:54:41.460 current condition and i'm the question is what should i have done what could i have done if

00:54:49.460 anything because you're coming in here with this huge energy and you're so excited about something

00:54:54.340 and in my mind like not to be like offensive but i was like this is this is not right here

00:55:00.300 something's not right and i didn't say anything there's no there's no harm in that and there's

00:55:07.420 nothing you could have done or could have said because anything you would have gave at me I would

00:55:11.540 have been like nah trust me I got this trust me I you know I'm doing this I'm doing that um I didn't

00:55:16.800 find out until after the fact my oldest brother in New Jersey was because nobody could get a hold

00:55:21.440 of me was calling good friends of mine who were in my circle at the time again Thanos snap and saying

00:55:27.300 that's not my brother can you help him can you help him like that's not my brother my dad ended

00:55:33.480 up flying down just to have to look me in the eye and i was even able to convince him that i was

00:55:37.620 okay i was able to convince everybody around me that i was okay because i thought i had it that

00:55:42.300 much because i take i take extreme pride in being candid and honest with people especially in this

00:55:48.740 house like it's still i i believe it's the only and quickest way to get things done to make actual 0.74

00:55:54.080 progress especially with him because we we have this fucking really crazy open relationship if 0.84

00:56:00.100 we're fed up with each other on one thing we say it no no harm no foul in and out and it works 0.72

00:56:05.340 and i and i i gave you a little pushback at first like i was like i i was like what about the

00:56:11.000 logistics here yeah how is this gonna work yeah you sure and and then eventually i just i gave up

00:56:17.120 and like then when all this stuff went down i i really there's like a pit in my stomach because

00:56:21.520 i felt like i had enabled in a way but but i but i i do appreciate you saying that but i wouldn't

00:56:27.920 hold anything on your own shoulders of that because it's like that's that's one thing like

00:56:32.240 it wasn't like i'm around you every day and you've seen me i literally came to your house

00:56:36.640 um told you about this event just threw it at you and then left it's like you're just like oh

00:56:41.280 what just happened yeah you know next thing you know two days later you see me on top of a car

00:56:45.020 screaming with my veins popping out with my shirt off you know doing a rap song against it's it's

00:56:50.780 just crazy who i recently uh i recently texted oh cool that's good fixing like kind of those

00:56:57.300 There was so much that – there's so much that I can't fix in my life that I wanted to fix what I can do. 0.90

00:57:02.560 And I knew that the whole RiceGum diss track was just so utterly stupid and not me.

00:57:08.380 And there was so – and I just texted him and I was like, hey, I just never got the chance to apologize that that wasn't me back then.

00:57:14.420 And I apologize for bringing you that.

00:57:16.260 That's awesome.

00:57:17.140 This podcast has like hit me, dude.

00:57:20.700 It really has.

00:57:21.380 A lot of the things that you're saying bring me back to a time that I remember vividly.

00:57:29.560 And I remember I have a very vivid memory of people not being able to get through to me.

00:57:37.260 And my mom, you know, like basically crying to me, you know, every day and my family, you know, trying everything under the sun.

00:57:45.620 and i remember and and when you talk about that uh that that you don't hold anything against him

00:57:52.120 because there was nothing they could do it's almost like a it's almost like a train that's

00:57:57.120 on a track and like it's it's going off the rails and people are trying to fix it to put it back on

00:58:02.400 but until you run straight into a wall or off a bridge it's all just kind of fodder until you hit

00:58:10.440 that wall you know what i'm saying and uh it's crazy how much i feel connected to your story

00:58:17.060 you got goosebumps right now yeah it's damn well it's bringing me back to i hope that resonates 0.92

00:58:23.140 with the people watching like you said i really hope it does this is a deep ass one one side 0.81

00:58:27.900 tangent side note yeah i got this all done during the event and i put july 15th on my hand here and 0.69

00:58:34.880 i'm getting this all removed now is it did you start treating it yeah that's why it's peeling

00:58:39.200 I was going to say, how many treatments in are you?

00:58:41.420 It's going to take over a year and a half.

00:58:43.120 I'm just one treatment in.

00:58:44.800 Wow.

00:58:45.320 Do you not like the tattoo or do you not like where you were at the time when you got it?

00:58:49.200 And does it remind you of that?

00:58:50.140 Both.

00:58:50.660 One of the biggest things, I don't like where I was mentally.

00:58:55.280 Because when I look at myself in the mirror, I'm like, I don't know if that was…

00:58:58.720 Like, my mom, who's, you know, an angel and my savior, who's even like in her religious beliefs against tattoos, is okay with her son having it.

00:59:05.960 And she understands me.

00:59:07.160 She said, but it's a part of you.

00:59:08.520 because she thought I got it but I was like but it's not because oh it's part of the other yeah

00:59:13.240 I don't think I would have done that and one thing it affected the most which I want to get

00:59:17.120 back on track with in my life is my acting career and I know tattoos on hands it's yo this conversation

00:59:23.660 just everything I'm not you go I know you got it but it's just everything we're talking about

00:59:29.320 today is just the reason he says that is because today literally before this podcast I was in a

00:59:36.280 five hour design session 0.99

00:59:37.800 for a giant fucking tattoo 1.00

00:59:39.640 five hours 1.00

00:59:40.540 a five hour creative design session

00:59:43.100 I want to show you this tattoo

00:59:44.700 I have a picture of my phone

00:59:46.360 to get your opinion

00:59:47.100 it's a scent bro

00:59:50.500 and I feel like mentally stable

00:59:52.540 no I mean don't take this

00:59:56.040 no he's not but it's just

00:59:57.280 but also who knows

00:59:58.580 maybe start with something small

01:00:02.280 he did that

01:00:03.540 he got a squirtle

01:00:05.340 look

01:00:06.240 how do you like that

01:00:09.900 do you sit with that

01:00:10.740 do you like

01:00:11.240 I love it bro

01:00:11.780 you love it

01:00:12.300 only cause he's a fan 1.00

01:00:13.260 fucking so stupid 1.00

01:00:14.600 this is 1.00

01:00:15.300 this is vastly different

01:00:17.220 this is like

01:00:17.900 trying to compare

01:00:18.580 buying a

01:00:19.180 let me

01:00:19.760 condo

01:00:21.320 to buying a castle

01:00:22.200 to a Lamborghini

01:00:22.880 oh that's badass though

01:00:24.480 it is

01:00:25.000 that's so badass

01:00:26.720 it's a send though bro

01:00:28.980 I would say send it

01:00:30.080 in that case

01:00:31.020 that's pretty badass

01:00:32.140 and bro

01:00:32.460 the reason

01:00:33.260 the design session

01:00:34.640 was five hours um it's because an hour or two i'm just talking to this guy about what it what

01:00:39.560 it meant to me what like why but beyond it being fucking awesome it's it's the uh i mean i'll just 0.97

01:00:45.280 say it's the hyper realistic version of the maverick if he was a giant realistic fucking 0.84

01:00:50.420 phoenix maverick falcon preacher yeah yeah one thing you mentioned earlier was that you were 0.92

01:00:56.900 kind of like looking back at everything that happened and realizing that it wasn't as disastrous

01:01:01.500 and like big as you were seeing it to be but you were playing into it which was made it it made it

01:01:08.040 that on a lighter note did it uh help to see what happened with the fire festival you're not in

01:01:13.940 prison you know it's not that disastrous i loved watching that uh and i actually related to that a 0.90

01:01:19.760 lot because i was like damn but like i had a stupid idea like that and you know tried it on

01:01:24.740 but wow it could have been much much much what's i mean let's not the call the let's not call the 0.99

01:01:30.120 idea stupid no that's called the execution the execution idea is great phenomenal but the 0.88

01:01:34.560 execution that that makes that makes what you did like it's like dude nothing i know you it really 0.99

01:01:41.560 is like my mom my mom would beg me like you said your mom and she was like yusuf you didn't hurt

01:01:46.660 anybody you didn't affect anybody there's no allegations against you you know there's all

01:01:51.740 just this hearsay of he's this person he's this person but in my mind and you got a ton of people

01:01:57.620 around you that love you too man i think that's the thing is like you got hella fans out there

01:02:02.000 that love you you got logan's cross-eyed right now pulling something off his hat he loves you

01:02:06.100 if you're focused too much on the disaster and you know the negativity i think that to me is

01:02:14.480 the learning lesson i'm pulling from this just find the good in it and and move and learn how

01:02:19.520 to move on on it yeah on it it's awesome to see you do that yeah should we do the audio only i

01:02:25.680 don't know we got any lighter stuff i know we've been i know my bad no no no it's great bro it's

01:02:31.300 great you did something for me today bro like honestly i i feel like a little bit lighter yeah

01:02:35.720 i have i have some stuff what do you got first off oh you know the show the bachelor of course 0.64

01:02:40.920 yo this show is bullshit like i'm sorry this show is inhumane i in my opinion immoral how can 0.95

01:02:48.480 ex-girls all compete 1.00

01:02:51.140 for one guy in an open 1.00

01:02:52.960 relationship where he can

01:02:54.720 hook up with whoever he wants, but now

01:02:57.120 Colton doesn't do it because he's a virgin. 1.00

01:02:59.580 Okay, he can still get handjobs. 1.00

01:03:00.960 And life, as we know, is a dry handjob. 0.96

01:03:03.540 How many bachelors have made it?

01:03:05.520 Like, with their couple?

01:03:06.880 After the show's over? Do you know that? Or should I look it up?

01:03:08.740 Do you know? Danny, do you know? I wouldn't know. I don't watch.

01:03:11.060 There's definitely a couple. 1.00

01:03:12.640 And also the worst girls to ask. Like, you guys definitely 0.85

01:03:15.000 don't care about that shit at all. 1.00

01:03:16.580 But it's funny that you say that, too, because it's 20 girls all fighting. 1.00

01:03:22.260 What is it?

01:03:22.780 20 girls all fighting for a guy that does the exact same thing that girls say they don't want.

01:03:27.200 I know. 1.00

01:03:28.000 Like hooking up with other guys or girls, like all this shit. 1.00

01:03:31.360 I saw this. 1.00

01:03:33.280 What?

01:03:33.840 Are you ready for this?

01:03:34.700 Yeah.

01:03:34.920 Are you actually ready?

01:03:35.760 A fact check?

01:03:36.380 What the?

01:03:38.860 Yeah.

01:03:40.460 Though The Bachelor has been airing for 22 seasons now since 2002.

01:03:44.780 only one couple

01:03:46.700 from the show

01:03:47.380 is still together

01:03:48.020 who is it

01:03:48.420 that's less than a 5% success rate

01:03:51.080 I'm gonna look this up

01:03:53.180 well the only reason

01:03:53.820 they stay together

01:03:54.460 there's like a stipulation

01:03:55.420 that says after the show

01:03:56.620 gets done airing

01:03:57.520 you have to stay together

01:03:58.280 for X number a month

01:03:59.200 what

01:03:59.840 you have to

01:04:00.500 so they could be broken up

01:04:02.840 behind the scenes already

01:04:04.200 and it's

01:04:05.540 no offense but

01:04:06.580 do people really

01:04:08.740 normal people go on

01:04:10.020 The Bachelor

01:04:10.520 expecting to find love

01:04:12.160 yo

01:04:12.640 even if The Bachelor

01:04:14.060 is a virgin

01:04:14.620 me and him just got asked

01:04:16.580 me and him just got pitched on a

01:04:19.180 real bachelors 1.00

01:04:21.120 of beverly hills type like shit 0.99

01:04:22.880 like centered around me and him 0.98

01:04:24.600 like dating like all this stuff

01:04:26.520 it wouldn't be for marriage it would just be like 0.99

01:04:28.960 for like a quick fuck 0.99

01:04:30.340 or just like 0.99

01:04:33.200 some dates maybe a trip to mastro's for some butter

01:04:35.180 cake whatever

01:04:35.800 I'd watch that you do I'd watch that

01:04:39.060 100%

01:04:39.540 that's an easy sell

01:04:42.180 anyways man bachelor man 1.00

01:04:44.480 I saw this girl break down in an Instagram clip,

01:04:47.960 and Colton's like, yeah, you're not the one for me.

01:04:49.900 And she's like, what?

01:04:51.600 And it's just horrible.

01:04:52.740 Anyways.

01:04:53.300 Oh, by the way, thanks.

01:04:53.880 Thank you to the sponsors, Maverick by Logan Paul.

01:04:56.540 They have been so good to us.

01:04:58.060 They really are.

01:04:58.720 They're just great, dude.

01:05:00.120 They have been so good to us, man.

01:05:02.220 That's why you keep relationship with brand teams, bro.

01:05:04.580 Yeah, true. 0.95

01:05:05.240 Have you been up to date with any internet drama bullshit? 0.98

01:05:08.800 You watching content? 0.98

01:05:09.960 Not at all.

01:05:11.000 Zero.

01:05:11.420 Not at all.

01:05:11.800 How's that feel?

01:05:12.360 uh it's liberating uh you're free from it but mine mine has been out of fear i just don't like

01:05:18.680 seeing anything i could be in a random video in a comment section and see something about me and

01:05:22.960 it triggers me but no i haven't but what's going on a lot we got a couple things what's going on

01:05:29.840 you in any drama uh yeah what's going on no i'm i'm not why don't you like i say you want to just

01:05:35.380 dive like i feel like we skit skirt something do you want to just dive this might be the one to 0.51

01:05:39.320 die well yeah let's let's do it just just to say you're impulsive the number one podcast in the

01:05:43.260 world um now why don't you say all right so uh yeah so anyway so there were some uh rumors about

01:05:51.640 a relationship that was going on uh between my friend lp and and a member of mike's logan's cfm

01:06:00.540 which is uh i'm sorry crm chief relationship manager so so there was this uh this relationship

01:06:06.800 between him and a member of David Dobrik's vlog squad,

01:06:10.780 a girl by the name of Corinna Kopp.

01:06:13.420 But also, use the word relationship lightly.

01:06:16.300 But they were hanging out a decent amount,

01:06:18.860 and all the great aspects were there,

01:06:21.220 and she was here hanging out, 0.99

01:06:22.160 and she brought her dogs and shit, whatever. 1.00

01:06:24.400 She's got one dog. 1.00

01:06:25.360 One dog, Carl.

01:06:27.220 Shout out to Carl.

01:06:27.700 So they had had a very amicable walk-away situation.

01:06:33.260 Logan had made a decision based on his CRM's advice 0.97

01:06:36.160 a little bit in a way oh shit i don't want to say that i was had you break up with somebody again 0.98

01:06:40.900 i had a conversation with him that said yo listen like if you're not in it to win it with this girl 0.94

01:06:46.440 i have a feeling like she's she takes her feelings and her emotions pretty seriously and i don't want

01:06:50.480 to see her get hurt it was it was the first i i literally looked i up down to mike i'm like who 0.97

01:06:55.560 are you he goes one thing i don't do anymore is fuck with people's hearts and i go wow what have 0.99

01:07:01.600 It's the one thing I hate, like, pursuits of love, bro, and cheating and stuff like that. 0.99

01:07:07.280 It is painful in a way that I can't describe. 0.99

01:07:10.740 And so, like, I don't fuck with that stuff. 0.99

01:07:11.960 So I said, yo, if you're not in it to win it, like, give this girl, you know, tell her, and so she'll walk away. 0.99

01:07:17.540 And so she walked away, and we were still talking.

01:07:19.860 We talked to her even yesterday, and I said, you know, Corinna, it's good to talk to you.

01:07:22.860 Like, you're such a sweetheart.

01:07:23.980 We're FaceTiming her.

01:07:25.160 So we go to Dan's last.

01:07:26.200 She goes to Dan's.

01:07:26.880 I'm there later, and we're having a good night.

01:07:28.700 I leave Dan's last night probably, like, 3.30.

01:07:30.480 I'm with a group of people.

01:07:31.600 and I get a text from Logan that there was a tweet

01:07:36.920 that Corinna had said,

01:07:39.980 at KSI, I'm in London with a heart.

01:07:44.820 Bust down, Tatiana.

01:07:46.440 And so he texts me. 1.00

01:07:49.140 Get it, girl.

01:07:49.660 And so he texts me, and he goes,

01:07:53.720 are you seeing this right now?

01:07:55.360 And I go, don't do anything.

01:07:58.500 We'll address this in the morning.

01:08:00.060 I had already favorited it, though. 1.00

01:08:01.300 he favored it because here's why she's a grown-ass woman true she can do whatever fuck she wants 1.00

01:08:06.580 and uh like yo go bust down get your clout run to the youtubers like who you i'm not so i can 1.00

01:08:15.120 try to stop her from doing that so i go don't don't don't address this we'll talk about it in

01:08:19.880 the morning uh and and let's cool let cool heads prevail on it the second i said that to him 1.00

01:08:26.700 cool head stop prevailing mine okay and i said you know what fuck this shit that's my fucking 1.00

01:08:32.440 boy and so i go i quote tweet it and i go this has to be the most petty shit i ever seen in my 1.00

01:08:40.240 damn life seek help because that was some petty shit yo damn straight up and it started to blow 0.99

01:08:46.860 up like retweets favorites all that shit and uh the girl i was with was like maybe you should 1.00

01:08:51.160 delete that and i was like i'm deleting shit that's my fucking boy you don't fuck with it 0.99

01:08:54.940 and so he texted me this morning he goes hey man um saw what you did last night thanks 1.00

01:09:01.540 love you she deleted her tweet so essentially your tweet looks ridiculous because it's leading

01:09:06.220 to nothing now and so i deleted it but by that time you know keem had picked up on it and all

01:09:10.880 of the people that you don't listen to anymore had picked up on it and uh and then she texted

01:09:16.020 me and said clearly it was a joke i must have missed the punchline because it wasn't very

01:09:22.520 funny you texted her she texted you no i don't care like and i mean that like she like i have 0.99

01:09:27.800 no ownership of her she can do whatever she wants and you know again that's what you want to do go 0.81

01:09:34.260 for it but yo but she's not like it's not like a situation where i mean have you read the comments

01:09:39.840 through the tweet no but i'm saying it's not like a situation where like you you're not the only one

01:09:43.500 thing in this right but it's not a situation where like a guy and a girl break up and then she goes

01:09:47.440 and, like, hits on some dude that, like, you have, like, a light relationship. 0.99

01:09:52.180 It's your mortal fucking enemy, bro. 1.00

01:09:54.240 Like, she did it. 1.00

01:09:55.040 Who has a girlfriend, by the way. 0.79

01:09:57.000 Oh.

01:09:58.180 Not ideal.

01:09:59.040 Anyways, let's go to the audio only version.

01:10:01.700 Can I say one thing before you go to audio?

01:10:03.400 Oh, yes, please.

01:10:03.620 Yeah, dude.

01:10:04.460 One thing I want to say, and this is just sometimes,

01:10:09.380 and this is going to be a cliche line, but I just read it recently.

01:10:12.340 the greatest thing that the greatest thing that you want to happen for you might be the best thing

01:10:18.560 that never happened for you. And that's something I'm trying to understand right now. So no matter

01:10:22.060 how bad it is for you right now, no matter how bad something went, no matter how bad you have

01:10:26.680 fallen, I promise you, I promise you, I promise you, I'm not just saying there, please hang in

01:10:30.740 there and just, you know, just, just hang on to that little glimmer of hope that you've heard

01:10:34.820 from all these individuals today, that it will get better. You will get through it. There will

01:10:39.580 be a brighter day you are strong enough you are brave enough and you are loved enough and you are

01:10:43.820 worth it enough to keep going because you have a purpose to be here and don't ever give up on that 0.94

01:10:49.000 hope so fucking amazing fusi ladies and gentlemen thank you for joining us thank you thank you 0.83

01:10:55.680 the number one podcast in the world hit that subscribe button we're about to go do an audio 0.97

01:11:01.300 only q a right now with yusuf is that like a that's a fact fact like number one in the world

01:11:07.200 Facts.com if you look it up

01:11:10.500 Do you read

01:11:11.980 FamousBirthdays.com

01:11:14.400 It's the most credible source of information

01:11:16.760 on the internet

01:11:17.200 And they're calling us the number one 0.99

01:11:19.140 Damn 0.88

01:11:19.980 Audio version only 0.99

01:11:21.960 Spy Kids

01:11:24.420 Peace

01:11:25.160 What did I just say?

01:11:28.680 Spy Kids

01:11:29.320 I believe

01:11:31.440 I do that sometimes

01:11:33.980 My brain works

01:11:35.400 some of the greatest people in the world

01:11:38.380 just make stuff up

01:11:39.260 like Mike

01:11:40.340 Mike, George Bush

01:11:42.160 I've never been put in the same

01:11:45.320 I'm so happy about that

01:11:46.600 I didn't like George Bush until I

01:11:49.000 got to weirdly spend a little bit of time

01:11:51.720 with him this past summer

01:11:52.600 the junior

01:11:53.680 he is a cool

01:11:57.160 he's a cool dude

01:11:58.380 he comes to their room and we're sitting there and he goes

01:12:00.860 what's up dudes

01:12:02.000 what's up dudes

01:12:04.160 I mean, you can imagine when he's not, like, you know, being president.

01:12:07.360 He said his favorite thing to do in life was clear brush on his farm.

01:12:12.060 He just likes to go on clear brush.

01:12:13.500 Do you think he uses a scythe?

01:12:15.800 Have you ever seen someone clear brush with a scythe?

01:12:18.140 Is that the, like, the Grim Raper uses it?

01:12:21.740 Do you know how you use it?

01:12:22.720 Again, it's audio, so they can't see, but you, like, swing it,

01:12:26.140 and it cuts all the shrubs. 0.99

01:12:28.240 I think his stuff is more like shit that's, like, fallen over already. 0.99

01:12:31.420 Like, he's not, I don't think he's taking it down. 1.00

01:12:32.860 I think he just, like, man, there's a little bush that just rolled out from ATV. 0.99

01:12:36.840 I'm just going to clear that shit out. 0.99

01:12:38.680 What do you do in your free time? 1.00

01:12:41.040 Clear brush?

01:12:41.920 In my free time?

01:12:42.700 No, I need to find some hobbies.

01:12:44.780 What do you guys do?

01:12:45.520 You got any – what do you guys do in your free time outside of work?

01:12:48.260 I know it's work, work, work.

01:12:49.220 Work out.

01:12:49.500 We work out.

01:12:50.120 We're about to work out right now, actually.

01:12:51.420 Yo, you got gym clothes with you?

01:12:53.880 That's all right.

01:12:54.340 Whatever.

01:12:55.580 I work out.

01:12:56.720 As I'm wearing a full gym outfit on.

01:12:58.580 Like, nah, I don't.

01:13:00.480 I like to work out.

01:13:01.400 um i like to work on uh i'm a workaholic and i also you mentioned a book i got a book i've been

01:13:07.160 writing for a long time so i've been i've been trying to crush that but what do you what do

01:13:11.140 you like to do logan paul what do i i don't know nothing we play fortnite sometimes he does one 0.75

01:13:18.600 thing that i hate that i hate dude in his free time oh it is the worst and you 0.97

01:13:24.740 i will catch him doing something and i say to him i see you're consuming shit content again 0.97

01:13:34.460 he will just be in a weird hill like it'll be times when he's so bored that his feet are up 0.91

01:13:39.000 in the air and his head is on the ground on the couch i know and i'll just see him no he'll just

01:13:43.400 be scrolling through like the discover page on on like instagram or like twitter and it's just 0.78

01:13:49.460 the dumbest it's like here's a video of a small goose riding a giraffe around the desert and it's

01:13:54.600 And I'm just like, bro, like, it is great, but he'll watch like two hours of it. 0.99

01:13:59.020 I'm like, bro, you want to talk about brand strategy?

01:14:00.780 Like, do you want to do something right now?

01:14:02.740 Besides like, here's a man falling off a gutter into a, into a glass box gutter.

01:14:09.580 I think that's a social media person thing to do.

01:14:13.320 I've seen a lot of people do that.

01:14:14.600 It's like your little escape from.

01:14:16.540 Dude, I was telling him we need to go do like a 10 day meditation retreat together.

01:14:20.800 Would you, I was going to do a Thailand one.

01:14:23.120 There was a seven-day silent meditation retreat.

01:14:26.600 Yeah, I think it's good.

01:14:27.240 I think it's dope.

01:14:28.780 I'd be down.

01:14:29.340 I don't know sign language.

01:14:30.300 I don't know how I'd vlog.

01:14:31.080 I don't want to do that alone, though.

01:14:32.300 That's why I was like, no, I can't do that.

01:14:33.880 You have four people in this room that will do it with you. 0.99

01:14:36.000 Damn. 0.99

01:14:36.620 Yeah, we're super big on that. 1.00

01:14:38.860 Bro, I didn't even – I wasn't even conscious about my shit content consuming 0.98

01:14:43.360 until you pointed out. 0.99

01:14:44.760 You're like, what the fuck are you watching? 0.99

01:14:46.100 And it's like a marble rolling down like a couple blocks to knock over an egg 1.00

01:14:49.740 to flip a spatula into a clock.

01:14:51.680 I say it too, jokingly.

01:14:53.120 And he said as a joke, guys, and then now he's like, oh, my God, like every day. 1.00

01:14:57.800 Every day I see you, you're just sitting on the phone, just watching the dumbest shit, dude. 1.00

01:15:02.440 And I'm like, what are you fucking doing? 1.00

01:15:04.360 Legitimately, though, like at what point does that become not healthy? 0.98

01:15:09.860 No, well, I don't think it does because you know who also does this? 1.00

01:15:13.020 And fuck you, Mike. 1.00

01:15:14.200 Joe Rogan. 1.00

01:15:15.720 He got caught in a hole. 1.00

01:15:17.120 He admitted yesterday of the fact that female octopuses can, like, swallow and eat the males who are promiscuous and piss them off by going and fucking other female octopuses. 1.00

01:15:29.740 Yeah, he posted, like, four times. 0.99

01:15:30.940 He posted four times about the female octopuses devouring the males.

01:15:34.540 And I was like, I'm glad it's not me, Joe.

01:15:36.760 Because let me tell you how much I know about the mantis shrimp.

01:15:41.020 The mantis shrimp.

01:15:41.820 Oh, the one that punches?

01:15:43.460 Yeah, bro.

01:15:44.240 At the speed of lightning, it creates shockwaves in the water.

01:15:46.580 I've been there too

01:15:47.220 You can see 17 colors

01:15:48.280 We had a debate

01:15:48.960 You know how humans can see

01:15:49.840 Four

01:15:50.700 Yeah 1.00

01:15:51.000 Fuck you Mike 1.00

01:15:52.640 We had a debate in college 1.00

01:15:54.080 To

01:15:54.400 We wanted to get a mantis shrimp

01:15:57.680 To see if it would actually 0.74

01:15:59.660 It could break skin

01:16:01.420 Oh really

01:16:02.520 Yeah

01:16:02.900 Because they say it

01:16:03.720 Punches

01:16:04.280 They say it's like

01:16:04.820 One of the most powerful punches

01:16:06.300 It is

01:16:06.700 Pound for pound

01:16:07.620 It is the most powerful impact

01:16:09.060 From an animal

01:16:09.700 It's got charged up

01:16:11.020 Like little arms

01:16:12.320 It goes 0.99

01:16:13.000 It fucks you up 0.99

01:16:14.340 It's like a 0.99

01:16:15.440 battering ram at the end.

01:16:16.660 You know, it's funny.

01:16:17.840 It's funny that I just started talking about your consumption of it

01:16:21.820 because the time I really realized was the night at the hotel

01:16:26.420 during the Flat Earth thing.

01:16:28.500 Oh, that was bad.

01:16:30.700 Like, that was it because I looked at you.

01:16:33.360 I looked at him.

01:16:34.540 He had, I think, two sweatshirts and a massive jacket on

01:16:38.640 and wearing a heated bar.

01:16:39.880 Like, everyone's got T-shirts on.

01:16:41.180 he's pouring sweat and he's watching a video of a like you said before a marble rolls down a ramp

01:16:48.940 hits a spoon that knocks a race car into an egg that drops into a pan that's cooked some bacon

01:16:53.360 a toast and i'm looking at him and he's just he's in caged by the phone he's there's no life there

01:17:01.080 bro and i go hey man are you okay right now and he goes he goes he looks at me like slowly he goes

01:17:08.620 and i go i'm gonna have to ask you to put your phone down for a few minutes

01:17:15.420 you didn't say anything no no but then you know what happened after but then you know what happened

01:17:20.220 after that i passed out for the audio only listeners we'll talk about it again i'm sure

01:17:26.000 yeah i'm sure but like first time in my life i passed out and uh headbutted the floor and my 0.79

01:17:31.880 friend mike i want to save this story for like another podcast because it's a damn good one 0.95

01:17:37.520 Hey, man. 0.99

01:17:39.040 You ever consume shit content? 0.99

01:17:41.380 No, he just... 1.00

01:17:42.160 All the time.

01:17:43.080 I used to.

01:17:43.660 Like, that used to be when I, like...

01:17:44.700 I asked myself when I had so much free time and I wasn't on my phone,

01:17:47.360 what the hell did I used to do?

01:17:48.620 And it used to be just that.

01:17:49.600 So what are you doing now, bro? 1.00

01:17:51.300 Shit. 1.00

01:17:52.000 Just working on myself. 1.00

01:17:53.000 I go to the gym.

01:17:54.320 I read books.

01:17:55.680 I listen to a lot of audio books.

01:17:58.220 I do literally the boring things.

01:18:02.560 Like, the boring things to try to better yourself.

01:18:04.100 It's good.

01:18:04.920 Better yourself and also humanize yourself, I think.

01:18:07.520 Yeah, I try to I try to be there more like, you know, I try to be present more on whatever I'm doing, even though I'm just walking outside, looking around and being like, oh, that's what the sky looks like.

01:18:17.080 I'm envious. I'm envious because it's one thing I don't think we talk about enough, the dangers of overstimulation in this world.

01:18:24.600 And I am the biggest offender. I need to be to a point where it actually sometimes interrupts people's non-stimulation where they're trying to relax.

01:18:34.240 I'm always going.

01:18:35.320 I'm just a charged up individual and you're doing the right thing, bro.

01:18:40.040 Would you say you have a pretty good grasp on your daily routine right now?

01:18:43.580 It's not as structured as it should be because like if it was structured, I'd be like, I'm at the gym at this time.

01:18:47.920 So it's still flexible in terms of when I do everything, but I get what I need to get done done.

01:18:53.260 We had Kevin Hines on the podcast.

01:18:56.260 Do you know Kevin at all?

01:18:58.020 No.

01:18:58.240 Yeah, he's dealt with a lot of mental health issues.

01:19:04.240 some similar but it to a very uh i would say severe degree and he said like the number one

01:19:10.740 thing to help pull him out of all that was just a structured routine you have to or else you get

01:19:16.820 engulfed in this like just like like what am i supposed to do with all this time what how am i

01:19:23.100 what am i supposed to do in life and it's like that that'll that'll suffocate you so having a

01:19:26.780 Routine is great.

01:19:27.980 Being bored is one of my least favorite things in the world.

01:19:33.940 Do you know being bored is healthy, though?

01:19:36.140 No, I don't think so.

01:19:36.900 No, no, no.

01:19:37.320 When I'm bored and I'm alone in the house and I told Evan this, bro, 0.99

01:19:40.780 I'll masturbate four to five times a day. 0.99

01:19:45.240 I actually Googled. 0.99

01:19:47.540 It's funny you say that.

01:19:48.520 Four to five.

01:19:49.820 I think he said 45.

01:19:50.980 Or do you fortify the house?

01:19:53.520 With gum. 0.94

01:19:54.340 my cum yo it is two two things on a joking note because i'll start there because i love joking 0.99

01:20:01.760 i understand that because when i'm laying i'm not joking no no no no on a fuck around no i 0.99

01:20:07.380 understand that because i do it too sometimes when i'm bored because i've nothing else 1.00

01:20:10.780 are you guys literally 17 maybe did you just discover your penis this recently 0.99

01:20:17.200 but but on a but on a serious i thought you guys knew you had dicks like a long time ago 0.99

01:20:25.340 just found out but i think i'm gonna post this on instagram tag your friend but on a but on a 0.94

01:20:32.600 serious note he's got a point in in it being healthy now here here's something i read about

01:20:38.000 me and spencer both read this study a little bit of it it's not being bored and and so what it is

01:20:44.980 up until the age of cell phones

01:20:47.760 and TV and

01:20:49.560 always on media that's always

01:20:51.480 stimulating you, people would get

01:20:53.540 bored and they would just think.

01:20:55.860 They would think of new ideas.

01:20:57.660 They would think of new books.

01:20:59.020 They would think of new songs.

01:21:00.920 Can you imagine how dark it would be or 0.60

01:21:03.240 non-winged it would be in this world if

01:21:05.420 social media existed in 1862

01:21:07.780 when Thomas Graham Bell

01:21:09.080 invented the telebulb?

01:21:10.860 Back in the day.

01:21:13.360 You just combined

01:21:13.920 You combined two people and two inventions.

01:21:17.460 A teleball.

01:21:17.760 Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone.

01:21:20.120 And Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.

01:21:21.920 I said that.

01:21:23.200 You just said Thomas Graham Bell invented the teleball.

01:21:27.800 I was trying to put a button. 0.95

01:21:29.340 That's ridiculous, Mike. 0.81

01:21:30.800 You're amazing. 0.98

01:21:32.020 You're an amazing human being.

01:21:33.640 Yeah, truly phenomenal. 0.99

01:21:35.220 And by the way, so fucking are you, bro. 0.99

01:21:37.900 Facts. 0.99

01:21:38.420 All right, let's go do things involving picking up weights and putting them down.

01:21:41.920 All right.

01:21:42.980 Subscribe.

01:21:43.920 Bye.

01:22:13.920 whisk you away and oh this is awkward listen to no safe words with october and tony gonzalez on

01:22:20.100 the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast is there an epidemic against

01:22:27.080 literature more specifically black literature i'm jacques peace thomas and on this season of

01:22:32.600 the black lit podcast we're outside asking why they don't want a whole bunch of little

01:22:37.540 ella bakers michael maxx and martin with the kings running around and when you look at a lot

01:22:41.340 of different cultures. They're like, you need to know where you came from. And considering this is

01:22:45.780 Black Reading Month, the only real question is, what are you reading next? Listen to Black Lit

01:22:51.200 from the Black Effect Podcast Network on our iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

01:22:56.080 get your podcasts. What up? This is Jay Valentine, co-host of the R&B Money Podcast alongside my

01:23:01.300 brother, R&B legend Tank. Together, we've built a space for artists, executives, and fans of R&B

01:23:06.880 music to reminisce and tell the real

01:23:08.740 stories behind the music. I have no money. I was

01:23:10.900 hood famous. They think you're going to get everybody out.

01:23:12.780 We lived in a project. Real Love came out.

01:23:14.900 They're hearing the music and we had nothing.

01:23:17.060 From Smokey Robinson to Mary J. Blige,

01:23:19.140 B2K to Jill Scott, if you're

01:23:20.800 a super dedicated R&B fan, this is

01:23:22.800 where you belong. Listen to R&B Money

01:23:24.680 from the Black Effect Podcast Network on

01:23:26.680 the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

01:23:29.200 or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:23:31.760 On recent episodes

01:23:32.960 of the Questlove show, I chatted with JoJo

01:23:34.780 about her music and WALO267

01:23:36.820 about his story and everything in between.

01:23:39.340 Don't invite me to karaoke.

01:23:41.000 I'm going to make it weird.

01:23:42.300 Someone's going to try to sing Leave Get Out or Too Little Too Late 0.79

01:23:44.640 or Baby It's You.

01:23:45.560 And I'm going to be like, okay, cool.

01:23:48.860 Check out my conversation with JoJo,

01:23:50.720 WALO267, and more on the Questlove show.

01:23:53.580 Listen to the Questlove show

01:23:54.760 on the iHeartRadio app,

01:23:56.960 Apple Podcasts, or wherever

01:23:58.600 you get your podcasts.

01:24:00.000 Peace.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - February 16, 2019

FOUSEY'S FIRST ON CAMERA APPEARANCE IN SIX MONTHS - IMPAULSIVE EP. 37

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