John Bolton - April 03, 2026


I Am In TROUBLE - Reported For BOUNCY CASTLE CRIME - My Apology


Episode Stats

Length

6 minutes

Words per Minute

122.11404

Word Count

811

Sentence Count

33


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Bouncy Castle Day in Calgary on March 7th was an election day in which saw the use of a bouncy castle to encourage people to vote for the Yes Yes No campaign. A petition drive was launched by the Forever Canadian Campaign and the Stay Free Alberta initiative.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 Hey Thomas, Thomas, Thomas, look Bouncy Castle.
00:00:16.240 I have prepared a statement. My fellow Albertans, I feel it is my duty to take
00:00:24.260 this opportunity on this platform to apologize to the people who I have offended. My transgression
00:00:32.720 is too large to be ignored, and I must seek forgiveness from those who have been adversely
00:00:38.060 affected. To understand the gravity of my crime, I must read to you an official letter from
00:00:45.020 Elections Alberta, referring to the incident on March 7th at the Auburn Bay Dog Walk Park,
00:00:51.640 also known as bouncy castle day dear mr sylvester i write to inform you of the outcome of a review
00:01:03.060 of several complaints made to my office that mr john bolton and the stay free alberta initiative
00:01:09.600 petition were offering coffee donuts and a bouncy castle at initiative petition signing events
00:01:17.540 Such offerings are problematic and, in my view, and if true, would constitute a breach of Section 162 of the Election Act, which reads,
00:01:27.000 a person who because an elector has voted or is about to vote or for the purpose of influencing
00:01:33.660 elector to vote for or against a particular candidate or registered political party causes
00:01:39.460 or permits any food or beverages or money ticket voucher or order for the procurement of food or
00:01:47.560 beverages to be provided to an elector is guilty of an offense and liable to a fine of not more
00:01:54.040 than ten thousand dollars or to imprisonment for a term of not more than one year or to both fine
00:02:00.680 and imprisonment. I must stress how contrite I am for this blatant and obvious infringement
00:02:09.980 of bouncy castle rules, not to mention the serious offense of providing a coffee and a slice of tasty
00:02:17.800 pizza. As you may well know, bouncy castles have been responsible for turning the tide in many
00:02:24.520 elections. Eisenhower was known to use these structures during his presidential campaign.
00:02:31.040 His losing opponents were heard to say, if only Ike hadn't had that bouncy castle.
00:02:37.520 Donald Trump used a bouncy castle during his last campaign. Democrats are currently preparing
00:02:43.320 letters of impeachment because of the seriousness of his bouncy castle. And in Canada, Pierre Pauly
00:02:50.980 of himself was known to call his bouncy castle his most potent weapon when he won his by-election
00:02:57.140 in Battle River Crowfoot. No doubt he would have been victorious in his previous riding
00:03:02.300 during the April 28th election if only he had had a bouncy castle.
00:03:08.440 if i might i would like to show you some of the people who were unduly influenced when it comes
00:03:17.060 to the alberta independence petition campaign on bouncy castle day on march 7th these people have
00:03:23.940 been subject to an event that may cause post-traumatic stress disorder for that i'm truly
00:03:30.620 sorry. To those of you who are triggered easily, you may want to turn away. There may be images
00:03:39.640 or video of a bouncy castle in the next few seconds.
00:03:46.960 I would like to directly address Thomas Lukasik of the Forever Canadian Campaign.
00:03:52.860 Mr. LeCasik, I apologize. I should have known better. Your social media post on Bouncy Castle
00:04:01.400 Day was unacceptably ignored. I should have been more compassionate and taken the time to understand
00:04:08.580 how Bouncy Castles affected you, how this object of oppression could encourage people to sign
00:04:15.880 the petition. I would like to finish by saying I have been spared imprisonment and thousands
00:04:22.640 of dollars in fines, as the official Elections Alberta letter concludes. However, in this case,
00:04:29.000 there is limited evidence before me of repeated conduct of this nature, and although the offering
00:04:35.120 of food and entertainment constitutes a breach, it is not at the extreme end of the inducement
00:04:41.140 spectrum. As such, I believe it is appropriate to caution Stay Free Alberta about hosting
00:04:47.340 initiative signing events that involve offerings in breach of section 162 of the election act
00:04:53.520 should my office receive additional complaints about future activities involving similar offerings
00:04:59.200 i will take this caution into consideration additionally i would also expect that any
00:05:05.100 expenses incurred relating to the hosting of these events or donations made in kind for the
00:05:10.680 provision of these offerings to be captured in stay free alberta's financial filings
00:05:15.720 to the vast number of public employees at elections alberta who no doubt spent many days
00:05:24.600 and weeks at great taxpayer expense investigating this gross infraction i promise never to inflate
00:05:32.140 a bouncy castle again i also promise not to purchase hot coffee and the aforementioned tasty
00:05:38.500 pizza. All receipts will be forwarded forthwith. To my loyal viewers on this channel, thank you
00:05:46.820 for your understanding. I am deeply sorry. Thank you. This video was sponsored by Orbitz Bouncy
00:05:56.160 Castles in Calgary. With a large selection of bouncy castles available, contact Taylor to order
00:06:01.740 your bouncy castle today. Delivery with a smile everywhere, except where Thomas Lukasik is present.
00:06:08.500 Thank you.