@CoachGregAdams Explains How Men Get Red Pilled
Episode Stats
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191.99226
Summary
In this episode of the podcast, I sit down with a man who has been divorced from his wife for the past 10 years. We talk about how he divorced his wife, why he left the dating market, and why he decided to get divorced.
Transcript
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yeah and how did you get to that point like what did you have a red pill moment i've noticed a lot
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of guys in the space like there was like one moment that maybe was their red pill moment uh men
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unfortunately get their red pill moments right we get we get we get introduced to life because we
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don't have the advantage right of being selected early and often many of us don't many men do but
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most of us don't and we go through trying to succeed with women right that's where the void
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is we try to succeed with women and then ultimately we hit that moment of reality that's that red pill
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moment we get some double dose of reality or we hit our head five or ten times for me it was a marriage
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then a divorce and then re-entering the dating market as a man that was uh married for 10 years
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and you we i re-entered the market dating millennials and gen z okay as a man who was married in a stable
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household for 10 years almost 10 years okay that that was the introduction like this is different
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something's different than when i was pursuing my wife and then married her and then live with her
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and then there was a new world out there so that was the red demo what was the bigger shock the
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divorce or the dating scene the dating scene the dating scene yeah the divorce you kind of saw coming
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yeah i mean that's just kind of the the natural course of things obviously i dealt with some legal
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issues related to the divorce right and so that was a red pill moment it was like what is this
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but it wasn't the thing that got me right and a lot of people think they watch my content and they're
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like that's the thing that got him and he's just mad his marriage didn't work out we actually parted ways
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amicably but the divorce grinder that was like what the hell is this right so at that point i was getting
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some information but once i was re-entering the dating marketplace that was when i was like something is
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something's up what is the divorce grinder oh the divorce grinder is when lawyers get involved in
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your marriage right and so what happens is they gotta they gotta they gotta separate the marriage
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they gotta separate the two people legally which is not easy many times people will be married for
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five years and it takes two years to get a divorce and it doesn't make sense so you're dealing with the
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legal issues of detaching two corporations which is the husband and the wife and people get a reality
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check of what marriage really is can you tell me a little bit about the divorce laws the divorce
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so because that's one thing when i first entered like the red pill space yeah i grew two parent
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household my parents are still married so i was like why don't these people want to get married
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i'm like it's a i'm like it's a it seems like a great thing right from it come from a woman's
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perspective it seems like a great thing yeah from a male perspective it's not why isn't it because the
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state is attached to these marriages essentially you're entering into a business contract this is
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the stuff people get pissed off about talking about because it it bursts the fantasy bubble yeah right
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what i'm going to talk about is like oh but what about love and what about kids yeah but it's still
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a business contract so what happens is most marriage is going to end in a divorce and the laws are going to
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be dictated based on your country or your city or your state so they're all different and if you just
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happen to so get divorced in a place where the laws suck then it's going to be a worse experience some
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people get divorced in a place where they don't suck or they just halfway suck so it just depends on
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your state like california per for instance is considered one of the worst places to get divorced
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i was getting divorced in california so my whole perspective of divorce is like whoa all right
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these people uh look there as a matter of fact some of the most wealthiest divorce attorneys are in
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california so they have an incentive to people get divorced they want people to get divorced obviously
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to stay in business and when you find that out the divorce laws are then introduced to most men
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at that point now my content we introduce the divorce laws to men before they get married
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so that gives them an idea of what they're getting into most men aren't introduced to divorce laws until
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the woman says i'm divorcing you and then it's done because the women were basically paid to leave
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aren't we you have great incentives yeah what incentives are those great incentives i mean incentives to be
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supported by what they would call maintenance spousal support or alimony those are all
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maintenance spousal support and alimony they're considered the same thing just depending on where
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you are what state you are those three words are used interchangeably but uh oddly enough feminists
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are opposed to that as well oh they're opposed to that most staunch feminists don't like maintenance
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or uh spousal support either this is what people don't understand they think feminists are just going to
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agree to have an advantage in the family court they look at that as a negative as well because they
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want to be able to be self-supportive and all of that stuff so yeah really the feminists i've talked to
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i'll tell them to get a job instead of like trying to cash out some feminists are not really feminists yeah we
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attribute the word we use that as a blanket term to describe people who who like the red hair crazy
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feminists those are those people typically more agree with many red pill guys there's just a kind
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of different call to action i think some people ride the wave of feminism they're not really feminist
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so and then what about child support so there's you got those yeah child support yeah tell me about
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child support of course the the evil empire okay so you have child support so you have the spousal
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maintenance or or spousal support and then you have child support which is a second payment
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it's calculated completely different from spousal support spousal support dictated on how long you
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were married and that's like alimony okay yeah so depending on how long you were married or who was
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the primary breadwinner which typically is mostly men because that's how women select but child support is
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based on how many kids you have if i have kids in a prior relationship if my income significantly
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greater than hers it depends on what state so then you can get a double penalty you leave out paying
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spousal support and child support and they're both sometimes they're both collected by different
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agencies so i yeah because that that was the big like shock to me is like women are basically because
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isn't child support dictated by how much like who has the kids so it almost gives women incentive to
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take the kids to fight for the custody yeah because then they get more money most typically you're going
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to hear a woman say i want primary custody right which gonna mean she wants an advantage on that time
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wise uh but the the excuse they'll use is that i raised the kids i was a primary uh parent he worked
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he traveled he was never there he cheated whatever it is to get out of that he can't take care of them
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because he works a certain schedule he travels he's an alcoholic he's an abuser that's why he shouldn't
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have the kids that's how that's framed but we have to understand that there's a calculation gonna give
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her more money the more time she has but here's the trip you want to hear something funny when we when
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we say that most people say no that's not the case she just wants more time to give the kids more
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stability right but men will say i deserve my parental rights to have the kid equal time
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you know what the woman would say in that situation he just wants more time so he can pay less child
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support oh so it's like it's like a lose lose yeah because i just said she wants more time to get more
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child support so they then switched it back and say he just wants more time so he can pay less child
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support yeah and that's that's what i really did not understand when i first started watching
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red pill content i was like i was like why are these guys so against marriage like this seems like
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a great a great thing yeah i mean and if it was controlled by church controlled by communities it's
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this is how communities are built so people think that i'm anti-marriage but i'm pretty traditional in
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the aspect of the best way to raise children in a two-parent household i know that i understand that but we
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can't even do that we can't do that as a community so what happens is the state has to get involved
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and the state has to do its best to find a way to support women who are now being volunteering
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themselves out of marriage but they can't support themselves 100 so there's state you know there's
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resources that they reach to eventually and then there's also a penalty to the guy saying well you
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married her so thus you have to support her to a certain extent and for a long time it was like you
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have to support her forever then they put in rules and laws to say this is you're going to support her
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until she can get on her feet i get a job that's right yeah but you're also saying the women who
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violent who said i quit my job my career to be a mother and a wife you got lucky right that's what i said
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i'm like why are you entitled to money half the time they're the ones leaving half the time it's almost
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damn near all the time wait well and even that statistic is skewed right so we say 70 of the
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divorces are filed by women and then 80 or 90 when it's college educated but that's but that's skewed
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because a lot of times women won't file the divorce to punish the man oh shut up i've never thought
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about so what happens is that the guy says i'm leaving you for another woman well legally she's not
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going to file a divorce because he's going to marry another woman or he's going to be out there dating
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so in order to prevent him from finding another partner she'll stop the divorce proceedings or at
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least halt it yeah so there's a lot more so then but by that point the guy says i'll file so then he
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files and gets the process started that's only one of the because otherwise he knows he's going to lose
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so so the divorces are that are filed by men are don't even count as the man filed it is the woman
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that wants the divorce but she won't she'll drag the proceedings to prevent him to marry wow you just
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red-pilled me a little more you're here with the master you're here with the number one the notorious cga
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you in the bunker right now so because i was thinking when i when the more i've learned about the
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loss i'm like a guy that no wonder they stay with the whales what what whales the fat chicks oh um
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yeah well again that's another hang-up because the guy can't divorce the woman he can't divorce the
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woman because she gained weight yeah that's a disadvantage but she could divorce me for gaining
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weight yeah oh he got us a lazy slob that's that's what i said that's what i got all these whales on my
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page the whales yeah you call them busted pillsbury brisky can no no i did um a clip that was going
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viral and all these whales started to show me their blubber i'm like show me your blubber right
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um and most of the time these people uh obviously the guy didn't marry her in that state many times
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so now she's not who he married and we call that a baiting switch yeah that's what they do they get
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the ring and they're like and then they're like i'll just let myself go and there's no penalty for her
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he gets penalized for letting her go and that's the that's the other penalty but i'm going to give
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you a third calculation that nobody remembers that i have to teach people about and this is where men
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lose more than 50 so you hear that phrase men lose half well men typically lose 75 of their income over
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these horses because the third calculation is how property is divided how pensions are divided how
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um retirements are divided how um you know if you had a business how is that divided so there's a
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there's those are three separate calculations when you go through a divorce and typically if you had a
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guy and you were a business owner or you had a military pension or a firefighter's pension and then you had
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kids and then you have spousal support that's three income sources that are divided in the courts and it gets ugly
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so okay so if you so this is your house yes yeah so so if you got married again i'm sure you will
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that ain't never gonna happen i'm sure you never go happen yeah yeah but let's say you did you know
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tomorrow right now then you get divorced how what would happen to the house um depending on what state
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it would be considered either community property or it could be used to up to the judge's
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just uh discretion to decide so oh so he can just give her the house good because that's called
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equitable equitable what's equitable so there's equitable states like texas is i believe i'm not
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mistaken don't don't quote me on the states but um some states are equitable uh whatever whatever's
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equitable but in the judge's mind 70 percent would be equitable and that could that could fly but a
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a community property it's probably a simp blue film well that's a problem so if the judges are simps
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or you have a female judge what's going to happen right what's typically going to happen um in in
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california it's community property 50 50 which creates a problem if i split this house 50 50 i can't
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cut it in half i can't put tape down the middle of the and say you live on that half and i live on that
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half so typically uh what happens is the guy feels like he has to move out uh i'll just move out you have
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it but he could particularly he'd be moving out but he also was paying the mortgage but then and
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then she can go to court and say he hasn't been in the kids lives right because isn't that one thing
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they'll do the girls will do like he'll move out to get out of the house or they're fighting and then
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she'll go to court and say he's well that's why you don't move out before the divorce is over right
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but typically a guy's gonna move out before the divorce is over so he don't get killed and poisoned
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on accident he's like uh it'd be safer for me to be out of the house because you know he got to go
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to sleep where's he gonna go to sleep they don't sleep in the same bed many of you know i was just
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