JustPearlyThings - October 18, 2023


Consequences Of Open Relationships


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

215.41473

Word Count

2,017

Sentence Count

2


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 just weird do you know anyone that's done an open relationship i do actually how did like
00:00:06.260 was it on both ends yeah it was on both ends but
00:00:09.720 they were just them type of people that it was expected you know what i mean like so when
00:00:17.520 everybody started finding out they're in an open relationship the female sleeps with females and
00:00:23.100 the guy sleeps with girls it was like it wasn't anything like it was just like oh are they still
00:00:28.540 together no they're not they're not did it did they fight over it at all or no um yeah i think
00:00:36.000 it started getting like abusive between them and then the female actually ended up having a baby
00:00:44.200 with another man that wasn't him it just went left like it was just it was just it was crazy
00:00:53.080 you said you know someone oh yeah i've got a few friends who are into the whole polyamorous
00:00:58.500 thing i mean there's definitely something magical about just a man and a woman you know sharing
00:01:02.700 a um relationship bond with one another but as i said earlier you know i think the problem and you
00:01:09.840 definitely mentioned yeah sort of mentioned this about how a big problem with open relationships
00:01:14.940 and polyamory is jealousy can really cause issues and if people are not able to work through that
00:01:20.980 that's what can actually end up tearing people apart some people make it work i suppose do you
00:01:25.920 know anyone that's made it work like for more than 10 years oh well i don't know any like most
00:01:32.500 people i know like around you know 20s or 30s so what about you you know any open relationships no
00:01:39.440 put eight years as a standard that's the average length of a marriage um i mean i i knew somebody
00:01:44.300 went out like like 15 years ago that was in that kind of relationship and i really thought through that
00:01:51.000 i mean this is like you know long before i met my wife and everything but like i really thought
00:01:54.880 through that and it i mean so so i've thought through that and i kind of realized that polyamory
00:02:01.140 like massively famers favors the female right because when you take like imagine a society where it's like
00:02:08.480 one woman and multiple men let's just go like to that extreme what happens is the woman has all the
00:02:14.360 access to the sex because the woman then chooses who she has sex with because women control the access to
00:02:18.900 the sex and on top of that the man none of the men know the paternity like if they sort of are like
00:02:24.820 a similar tribe let's say none of the men actually know the paternity of the child so the woman has
00:02:29.640 access to the resources of all the men plus the control over all the sex and who gets it at what
00:02:34.900 time and and whatever right so when you open it up that way you realize that like that gives the woman
00:02:39.820 all the power yeah and that's what polyamory is because the woman still controls all the sex and then
00:02:44.040 the paternity becomes the question of you know a question so what does the man get out of that
00:02:48.080 like he gets access to women and sex it's like but most men don't really have that access like
00:02:53.900 yeah the top 10 percent of guys have all the access anyways right so there's no and that and the man in
00:02:59.280 that echelon is not going to commit to a woman in those conditions i just wonder like why i've said
00:03:04.800 this all week like why would he do this he's got money he's not a bad looking guy it's like why would
00:03:10.620 you pick to have your wife sleep with another dude the funny thing is he said the same thing a couple
00:03:16.880 years ago if you look at his old videos but i think it's like a result of feminism in a way
00:03:22.780 because because i i really think it's a result of feminism because feminism implies we're equal
00:03:29.580 and and i don't think we're equal i think men are above women i think they're better at us at
00:03:33.960 everything yes why yeah because every stat shows they are name something women are better at
00:03:39.640 well it depends what you mean by men and women are equal because we're equal in the sense that
00:03:46.160 we deserve respect but in terms of our strengths for example there's been studies that have shown
00:03:49.980 that women are typically better with say empathy women are better with women are more women are
00:03:54.080 more likely to kill newborns than the elderly well women can only have abortions but if you look at
00:04:00.020 even even just newborns i mean it's estimated they killed a quarter of their kids like a hundred years
00:04:05.400 ago like this idea that women are more empathetic it's like saying it's like saying one one party
00:04:10.540 has a gun it's not that women are more empathetic it's that typically women are usually because of
00:04:15.460 the way the female brain is wired we're more suited towards things like cooperation that's where there's
00:04:19.440 a higher level of women in things like the art but that's psychology that's why i think that women
00:04:23.740 can only be great under the authority of men because when we're on our own we just don't do well
00:04:28.400 well we don't want to you know be like undermining women i mean we can say that women have
00:04:32.500 strengths and men have strengths as well no i'm saying like i can't think of a way that women
00:04:37.380 are their best selves without men like i think women say the same men also need women no so there's
00:04:43.500 you can have examples of history of men that have been great did advancements in society and didn't
00:04:48.520 they like they avoided women so they could they could um like i think isaac newton died a virgin
00:04:53.740 there's some women are better men than charles childbearing i mean they but it's equal it's equal
00:04:59.120 value because men like men you need a sperm and an egg that's 50 50. so there have been some
00:05:05.140 societies for example that were matriarchal that were matrilineal in which there was a big presence
00:05:10.260 of the mother and that was passed on by the grandmother none that stood the test of time
00:05:14.460 well not in the west for example like in small tribes like for example in india
00:05:18.400 in china in fact in china there's still a tribe i think it's called the masseur tribe and you have
00:05:23.440 this very kind of female led tribe and it's not really feminist because it's not it doesn't
00:05:29.460 stand the test of time though plus keyword keyword small tribes they don't advance that's the point
00:05:35.540 well yeah because they keep the whole society within the frame of the tribe so it's not really the same
00:05:41.260 as like a modern western society but they don't advance that's the whole point so so what i think i
00:05:45.500 think that women women genuinely are not the best versions of themselves unless they're under the
00:05:49.760 authority of the men look at what happens when we raise kids by ourselves we suck as single moms
00:05:53.400 well look what happens when we we try to start companies ourselves it's like we can't even i
00:05:59.680 couldn't even do what i'm doing without being in the in the building that a man built it's like women
00:06:03.720 cannot be great without men but feminism tells them that we should be equal to men and so basically
00:06:10.260 feminism is saying we are equals when they are our superiors and i think it translates into
00:06:14.700 relationships and now you have women thinking that they should be leading relationships and having an equal
00:06:19.620 say men men uh men do better work when women are watching that's been noted and studied yes it has
00:06:26.860 because also as well boys as well in school are much better when there are girls in education
00:06:31.940 that's absolutely that's actually not true that's absolutely the opposite but men perform better at
00:06:36.440 sports when there are female spectators men give more money to charity when there are women this has
00:06:41.520 been tested in fact like something like 20 females on a working team increases the performance of the
00:06:47.060 team but it really increases the performance of the males right so you also need women for men to
00:06:52.580 compete amongst themselves to be selected and to be the best versions but none of the things you
00:06:57.540 mentioned actually build society where are the women watching the men building the buildings where are
00:07:01.740 the women cheering on the buildings come on we all work a little harder when a girl is in the room
00:07:05.480 no but where are the women where are the women you know i'm not making that argument i'm not making
00:07:09.260 i'm not making that argument yeah did that you know to me like the way that i look at the way that i
00:07:14.340 looked at let's say i sort of had to rationalize through this again because you know as as we grow
00:07:18.220 up we all have to like find our place in the world like where we fit in and how the world relates to us
00:07:22.320 and i had to like really think and understand like what women represented for me i mean again a personal
00:07:27.540 anecdotal thing but for me it's like women were the feedback that were sent by the universe or by
00:07:32.840 whatever higher power you believe in to tell me how i'm doing in life you know women are for a man
00:07:37.680 like women women let me let me finish that point i'm serious i'm serious i'm serious because like
00:07:44.160 if you're a guy and women are not choosing you like that's a problem and that's your problem like
00:07:50.200 it's your damn problem if women are not choosing you right so there's definitely a feedback mechanism
00:07:55.280 that women give to men and what women are saying to a man all the time is like here's how you're really
00:07:59.800 doing man here's how you're really doing in society here's how you rank among you know women
00:08:03.780 don't have realistic standards today sure and and so i don't i don't think i'm not making this as a
00:08:09.760 relative argument saying on an absolute scale but no but you're saying you're saying you're saying
00:08:13.280 today that women will tell you how you're doing in life so but i'm saying but i'm saying that argument
00:08:18.860 might have worked wait wait let me finish that argument might have worked a hundred years ago but
00:08:23.780 i'm saying i don't think that works today it does it's just way more polarized because women because
00:08:28.880 women um it's like our standards are crazy high we only swipe so you're telling me if we only swipe
00:08:35.500 five percent of the time on dating apps 95 of men are not good enough well so so the standards i'm not
00:08:41.620 saying the standards is fair anymore it's changed good enough used to be good enough right good enough
00:08:45.680 not good enough anymore now there's a more sort of a binary look at this it's like you're either
00:08:49.940 in the top 10 or you're damn not right but the point is we cannot have a function like i just
00:08:54.380 don't like shitting on the average man and i don't i don't like saying like that they're doing
00:08:58.120 something wrong when we could not have a society without them like i i genuinely think we need to
00:09:03.460 be thankful for the average man and saying they're not doing good enough because they have an average
00:09:08.080 oh no i'm not making that argument no no but you're saying that like women like will tell you if
00:09:11.820 you're doing good enough and like well good enough but therefore therefore women are are the primary
00:09:16.620 like they get to decide what's good enough but i think it's men i think men decide what's good
00:09:21.460 enough