JustPearlyThings - April 13, 2023


Divorce Lawyer Shares an Interesting FACT


Episode Stats


Length

14 minutes

Words per minute

194.9433

Word count

2,768

Sentence count

346

Harmful content

Misogyny

22

sentences flagged

Hate speech

13

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the ladies discuss when it's appropriate to split the bill with your significant other and how to set the tone for a healthy relationship. Is it ever appropriate to pay on the first date?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.220 Um, so Blessing, do you want to put the next clip up?
00:00:05.240 Oh, can I just add something?
00:00:06.380 Yeah, go ahead.
00:00:07.120 Um, I just thought it'd be interesting to mention this.
00:00:09.580 Men actually do better after a divorce and women do significantly worse.
00:00:16.660 So it's just like, oh, they, you know, they're, they were great.
00:00:20.520 And then they actually get greater after a divorce and women actually plummet 1.00
00:00:25.500 their finances.
00:00:26.520 Everything goes, um, off the.
00:00:30.580 Yeah.
00:00:30.840 And I think also when I actually realized like that, you know, they can actually
00:00:34.960 keep that money, invest it, make that grow.
00:00:38.000 And they, you know, it's cause it's not going into a black hole, fortunately.
00:00:42.440 So that's something to think about.
00:00:47.380 What about the women who, uh, essentially get 50% from their, uh, husband or take
00:00:56.260 everything from them?
00:00:57.160 Does that still equate to them?
00:01:01.120 The man still like after gets up off his feet and does he still do well?
00:01:06.760 And the woman still does better. 1.00
00:01:07.960 Or is it, yeah, yeah.
00:01:09.420 Because he, he can manage his money better and it's not, you know, um, let's just say
00:01:15.220 if he had like a surplus or anything, he can reinvest that as it, because it goes back.
00:01:20.600 It, it links to women being the biggest consumers, she's got her divorce. 1.00
00:01:24.680 She's going to, sorry, I keep doing that thing.
00:01:26.780 Or she's going to get her hair done and her nails. 0.71
00:01:29.060 Like she's feeding herself.
00:01:29.940 Or just go splurge it.
00:01:30.440 I got divorced.
00:01:31.260 I'm going to go spend all my money.
00:01:32.440 I'm rich.
00:01:32.940 I'm rich.
00:01:33.440 There's, there's divorce parties now. 1.00
00:01:35.820 Oh yeah.
00:01:36.820 Which is so like sad.
00:01:38.400 Yeah.
00:01:39.400 And they go out.
00:01:40.400 They go all out.
00:01:41.400 And I'm like, that's why you're animating your money.
00:01:43.400 The irony.
00:01:47.440 Here's a question.
00:01:52.780 When do you think it's appropriate to start splitting the bill on dates?
00:01:57.200 I am more than happy to go Dutch.
00:02:00.020 I believe in equality for all.
00:02:02.320 So I like the yin and the yang of a guy paying sometimes, I'll pay sometimes.
00:02:06.880 It kind of sets the tone for a relationship.
00:02:08.880 And, you know, I got your back, you got my back.
00:02:10.580 Having said that, if it is the first date, he better offer to pay or there will not be
00:02:16.340 a second date.
00:02:21.340 Well, I will say I love it as a gesture.
00:02:23.460 I think it's really sweet and I appreciate it.
00:02:25.140 But a lot of times I feel like, no, I want to go Dutch on the first date because we're
00:02:28.500 both feeling each other out and I don't want someone to assume something.
00:02:32.020 So I like going Dutch on the first date. 0.92
00:02:34.340 Well, I mean, I feel like it just depends on the delivery.
00:02:40.460 Right.
00:02:41.460 Yes.
00:02:42.460 Like if the check comes and he looks over at me like, yeah, yeah, then so you need to
00:02:46.540 you need to go ahead and put down on this and I'm a I'm a go not never to be seen again.
00:02:50.720 But I think I think that needs to be discussed early on.
00:02:53.840 Right.
00:02:54.160 Like how how much of a date is this?
00:02:56.140 Are we still are you interested in courting me for real?
00:02:58.860 Or did you did you ask me out or did I ask you out or was this like a set up by friends?
00:03:03.940 I feel like those things need to be discussed early on.
00:03:05.940 Communication will eliminate any room for error in that situation.
00:03:08.940 Yes.
00:03:09.940 Have we done this poor of a job with our young men?
00:03:13.940 Yeah.
00:03:14.940 Have we have we not taught our younger men what this is really supposed to be about?
00:03:22.940 I'm sorry.
00:03:23.940 The way it is supposed to work and I can appreciate everything you all are saying because you're
00:03:28.940 women. 0.81
00:03:29.940 So quite naturally you set the tone for how you are.
00:03:33.200 But let me say this to men.
00:03:35.940 It's the it's the proper thing to do.
00:03:39.940 It's the right thing to do.
00:03:41.940 And it's the way it should be done.
00:03:44.940 You got a lot of nerve.
00:03:46.940 You know dudes kill me because we got a lot of nerve thinking this thing is 50 50.
00:03:52.940 Cause I got news for you it ain't.
00:03:54.940 They happen to have a skill set that you will never possess.
00:03:58.940 They can produce another human life.
00:04:01.940 Nothing you can do can come close to that.
00:04:06.940 I'm ashamed of men who don't understand them.
00:04:09.940 In addition to that part of the conversation it needs to be made clear to men that women don't owe you when you take us to dinner. 0.88
00:04:16.940 Just because you buy me dinner just because you paid the valet doesn't mean I need to go home with you.
00:04:21.940 Absolutely.
00:04:22.940 So that in that same conversation that still needs to be said.
00:04:25.940 And I think that's why so many women still want to pay because you don't want to be bought. 1.00
00:04:30.940 Because you don't want the perception of the obligation.
00:04:33.940 Exactly.
00:04:34.940 I am not for sale.
00:04:35.940 Correct.
00:04:36.940 Yeah.
00:04:37.940 Because nowadays a lot of times in this situation the women might be making more money. 1.00
00:04:40.940 Then he need to play in the playground he qualified to play.
00:04:45.940 See that's what you do.
00:04:47.940 No.
00:04:48.940 This is a real teaching moment for me.
00:04:51.940 You were born to be a provider.
00:04:53.940 You were born to put a woman on a pedestal and treat her like a queen. 0.97
00:04:57.940 That's your job as a man.
00:04:59.940 Now if you don't want the job go do something else.
00:05:02.940 It's an honor to take a woman out. 1.00
00:05:04.940 Hey.
00:05:05.940 That is true.
00:05:06.940 Stop.
00:05:07.940 Stop.
00:05:08.940 This pissed me off right here.
00:05:10.940 I get sick.
00:05:11.940 Matter of fact ladies I'm sorry.
00:05:13.940 Thank you.
00:05:14.940 I'm sorry.
00:05:15.940 Look at all these men.
00:05:16.940 I've been looking at this man right here with the lady next to the lady in the teal.
00:05:20.940 Is that your husband?
00:05:21.940 This dude been getting it.
00:05:22.940 He been going yeah.
00:05:23.940 The whole time.
00:05:24.940 That dude up there with the lady with the sash on.
00:05:26.940 He been going yeah.
00:05:27.940 Cause that man with the blue t-shirt on with the lady with the green t-shirt. 0.99
00:05:31.940 I've been looking at all these men going yeah.
00:05:33.940 Cause we know.
00:05:34.940 This how this work.
00:05:36.940 Y'all getting tricked man.
00:05:38.940 These young dudes out here man.
00:05:40.940 If you don't understand that.
00:05:42.940 And don't email the show talking about Steve you got money.
00:05:46.940 Steve ain't always had money.
00:05:48.940 Right.
00:05:49.940 I had nothing.
00:05:51.940 I have never ever in my life.
00:05:55.940 From every date I've ever went on.
00:05:58.940 And I done been on some dates.
00:06:00.940 Had a woman pay for nothing for me. 1.00
00:06:03.940 In my life.
00:06:04.940 Different time.
00:06:05.940 Different time.
00:06:06.940 This was when I was good in post.
00:06:09.940 If I didn't have the money I saved it.
00:06:11.940 So I could take out.
00:06:12.940 Yeah.
00:06:13.940 I'm sorry man.
00:06:15.940 All right.
00:06:16.940 We got to take a break.
00:06:17.940 We got more straight talk.
00:06:18.940 When we come.
00:06:19.940 Oh my God.
00:06:20.940 Can there be two.
00:06:21.940 King of simps.
00:06:22.940 I think Derek's been dethroned.
00:06:25.940 Oh my God.
00:06:26.940 That was.
00:06:27.940 Why?
00:06:28.940 Tell me why.
00:06:29.940 That was too much man.
00:06:31.940 First of all.
00:06:32.940 How old is he?
00:06:33.940 I don't know.
00:06:34.940 40s.
00:06:35.940 No.
00:06:36.940 No.
00:06:37.940 Oh my God.
00:06:38.940 Come on pal.
00:06:39.940 He's like 50, 60.
00:06:40.940 He's on the way to.
00:06:41.940 It's a different freaking time.
00:06:42.940 It's like.
00:06:43.940 How can you say that?
00:06:44.940 Oh yeah.
00:06:45.940 You know, I didn't have a job before.
00:06:46.940 I was broke.
00:06:47.940 Oh yeah.
00:06:48.940 Every single day I paid.
00:06:49.940 It was probably.
00:06:50.940 It was much more less than it is now.
00:06:51.940 There's just so many things to consider.
00:06:53.940 And he's not even.
00:06:54.940 Yeah.
00:06:55.940 That was.
00:06:56.940 Yeah.
00:06:57.940 That was again offensive.
00:06:58.940 Yeah.
00:06:59.940 And like they didn't.
00:07:00.940 I mean, as Michael was saying earlier, like, I don't think the women then were sleeping
00:07:03.940 with the other guy or going.
00:07:05.940 Yeah.
00:07:06.940 That was like true courtship.
00:07:07.940 Yeah.
00:07:08.940 Feeding to a serious relationship, marriage, commitment, all that good stuff.
00:07:11.940 Mm hmm.
00:07:12.940 Yeah.
00:07:13.940 All of the guys and couples that he pointed to in the audience all looked old.
00:07:18.940 I didn't see anyone that.
00:07:20.940 The guys kind of looked like simps.
00:07:21.940 Yeah.
00:07:22.940 They looked like simps.
00:07:23.940 They look weak.
00:07:24.940 You know, their wives brought them to that. 0.99
00:07:25.940 Oh, absolutely.
00:07:26.940 And he knows he has to clap for everything.
00:07:28.940 Yeah.
00:07:29.940 Yeah.
00:07:30.940 Bro, you're using old people as a measuring stick for the current society. 1.00
00:07:36.940 It doesn't correlate.
00:07:37.940 So wrong.
00:07:38.940 It doesn't work, bro.
00:07:39.940 And like, again, he's saying, oh, don't email because you're saying I've got money.
00:07:44.940 But you do have money, though.
00:07:46.940 What are you talking about?
00:07:47.940 Bro, in the UK, the energy prices have gone up considerably.
00:07:52.940 House prices have gone up considerably.
00:07:54.940 It's not easy, bro.
00:07:56.940 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:07:57.940 Like, I really can't stand these people that act like everybody's balling.
00:08:01.940 We're not all living some rock star life.
00:08:04.940 It's unrealistic bars.
00:08:06.940 Yeah.
00:08:07.940 And like, at the end of the day, he's talking about, oh, yeah, this is an honor.
00:08:11.940 What do you mean, bro?
00:08:13.940 The woman is a stranger, bro. 0.96
00:08:15.940 And with that, all that advice, yeah.
00:08:17.940 Oh, yeah, you need to pay on the first date.
00:08:19.940 Make sure the date is cheap, bro.
00:08:21.940 Every guy watching this, yeah?
00:08:23.940 Let me tell you, keep the date cheap.
00:08:26.940 Then it ain't gonna hurt you.
00:08:28.940 Well, maximum 50 pounds, maximum, max.
00:08:30.940 I agree, because if I like a guy, I don't give a shit where he takes me.
00:08:33.940 If you really like a guy, like, if you're really into a guy, you don't give a shit.
00:08:37.940 So true.
00:08:38.940 He could take you to frickin' McDonald's.
00:08:40.940 If you really like him, like, you might, you might, you know, wish it wasn't McDonald's,
00:08:44.940 but you're still just happy to be there.
00:08:46.940 Yeah.
00:08:47.940 You're happy to be there.
00:08:48.940 Yeah, inside, you're gonna be like, oh, I wish he took me to a little restaurant.
00:08:50.940 But you're not gonna care, bro.
00:08:52.940 I'm telling you, on one hand, the amount of girls that I've taken out on a date, like a proper, proper date, like one hand, bro.
00:08:59.940 And those girls were already my girlfriend, bruv. 1.00
00:09:03.940 So I've already found out, or like, the realization has come that she actually likes me, and she's invested in one way.
00:09:09.940 Maybe not monetary, but she's invested.
00:09:12.940 She's invested time, energy, there's no one-word answer replies.
00:09:16.940 Like, she's actually showing enthusiasm to get to know me, and showing me that she likes me.
00:09:21.940 Bro, that's somebody, yeah, okay, boom, I can take you out.
00:09:24.940 But not for some stranger, bro.
00:09:26.940 And all of that is a lie, bro.
00:09:27.940 And they're trying to turn the majority of men into simps.
00:09:30.940 They're trying to effeminize men. 1.00
00:09:32.940 Men shouldn't have a backbone.
00:09:33.940 We shouldn't have an idea or a perspective on anything.
00:09:36.940 It's just whatever the women wants, it goes, bruv. 1.00
00:09:39.940 Then you've got stupid idiots like Steve Harvey.
00:09:41.940 99% of his audience are women all clapping.
00:09:44.940 Old women clapping.
00:09:45.940 Yeah.
00:09:46.940 Like, what are you talking about, bro?
00:09:48.940 It's propaganda.
00:09:49.940 It's nonsense, bro.
00:09:50.940 Do you get what I'm saying?
00:09:51.940 So, at the end of the day, he's just a simp.
00:09:53.940 He's just trying to make money.
00:09:54.940 I understand.
00:09:55.940 Get your bag.
00:09:56.940 But, bro, anybody with half a brain will understand that this is BS, bro.
00:10:00.940 Do you think women owe men's sex if he's taking her out on multiple nice dates?
00:10:07.940 I wouldn't say owe.
00:10:09.940 That's a strong word, owe.
00:10:11.940 That's like deserve.
00:10:12.940 Do you get what I'm saying?
00:10:13.940 No one deserves anything.
00:10:14.940 And I don't think a woman owes a man's sex.
00:10:16.940 But, at the same time, bro, like, everything is an exchange in this world, bro.
00:10:21.940 Like, if you're dating a guy, you know the guy wants to sleep with you.
00:10:25.940 I don't care how nice he is to you.
00:10:26.940 I don't care how nice he is to you.
00:10:27.940 I don't care how he talks to you.
00:10:29.940 You know he wants to sleep with you, bro.
00:10:31.940 So, if you're dating a guy and you know you don't want to sleep with him, you shouldn't be dating him, bruv.
00:10:36.940 That's it.
00:10:38.940 I mean, other people might not agree with that, but why would you be seeing a guy that you have no intention of sleeping with them eventually?
00:10:45.940 So what?
00:10:46.940 You're just going to be dating him, dating him, dating him.
00:10:48.940 He's going to be wasting time and money for what?
00:10:50.940 For a girl that's not interested. 0.99
00:10:52.940 This is what I'm saying.
00:10:53.940 This is why I can count on one hand the amount of girls that I've actually gone out there and spent proper money on a date for. 0.99
00:11:00.940 Those girls were already my girl. 0.97
00:11:02.940 And guys need to understand, because guess what?
00:11:05.940 That girl that you're spending £200, £300 on a restaurant at Hakkasan or Gaucho, yeah? 0.99
00:11:10.940 That girl is sleeping with a guy for free. 1.00
00:11:13.940 100%.
00:11:15.940 You know what I'm saying?
00:11:16.940 So it's all...
00:11:17.940 Bruh, I'm not trying to hear any of that, bruh.
00:11:19.940 Serious.
00:11:20.940 And I've been that guy to sleep with girls for free many times, bruv.
00:11:24.940 You know what I'm saying?
00:11:25.940 Gym dates.
00:11:26.940 Bare gym dates.
00:11:27.940 Come on, man.
00:11:28.940 Gym dates.
00:11:29.940 Yeah, gym dates.
00:11:30.940 Get me.
00:11:31.940 What is it?
00:11:32.940 A gym date.
00:11:33.940 Okay, boom.
00:11:34.940 Let's work out together.
00:11:35.940 Let's work out together.
00:11:36.940 Okay, okay, okay.
00:11:37.940 Let's work out together.
00:11:38.940 Or...
00:11:39.940 What's it?
00:11:40.940 Even simple.
00:11:41.940 Let's go to the shopping centre.
00:11:43.940 Just walk around.
00:11:44.940 They worked out with you and they wanted to hook up after?
00:11:47.940 Yeah!
00:11:48.940 Obviously, I'm wearing the vest and that.
00:11:50.940 Swole.
00:11:51.940 Were you yelling at them and stuff?
00:11:53.940 No, I'm not actually training them.
00:11:54.940 I'm not training them.
00:11:55.940 They're like, we're going there together.
00:11:57.940 Whatever.
00:11:58.940 Do you know what I'm saying?
00:11:59.940 Yeah.
00:12:00.940 I'm going to go there anyway.
00:12:01.940 Do you get what I'm saying?
00:12:02.940 Like, it's real like that.
00:12:04.940 And again, it's just like what you said.
00:12:06.940 If the girl, if the girl likes you, it doesn't matter where you go, bruv.
00:12:09.940 Yeah.
00:12:10.940 Really.
00:12:11.940 So true.
00:12:12.940 That's so true.
00:12:13.940 Take me to Popeyes and talk to me.
00:12:14.940 That's all I want.
00:12:15.940 I want chick sandwich and everything.
00:12:17.940 More time...
00:12:18.940 Exactly.
00:12:19.940 More time you eat one sandwich, have one drink.
00:12:20.940 The drink will...
00:12:21.940 You'll drink half the drink.
00:12:22.940 You'll be there for like two hours just talking because you actually like the guy.
00:12:26.940 You're interested in the guy.
00:12:27.940 When these girls talk about a guy has to pay this and he has to take me here. 1.00
00:12:31.940 That's for the guys they don't really like.
00:12:33.940 They're using them.
00:12:34.940 That's what it is.
00:12:35.940 I don't think it's always like conscious, you know?
00:12:39.940 Like, but I do think like a lot of times like women were so indecisive that it's like, 1.00
00:12:45.940 like, I don't know, sometimes guys get taken advantage of, you know?
00:12:50.940 You're saying guys get taken advantage of because, what, women are indecisive?
00:12:54.940 Um...
00:12:55.940 No, no, no.
00:12:56.940 I mean like...
00:12:57.940 Okay, okay.
00:12:58.940 I mean, I think...
00:12:59.940 I wouldn't say like...
00:13:01.940 Like personally, I don't have a ton of free time.
00:13:04.940 So like I wouldn't...
00:13:05.940 I think my time's valuable.
00:13:06.940 So if I don't like a guy, I'm not going to go on a date with him.
00:13:09.940 But I think a lot of guys like wait for years in the friend zone.
00:13:12.940 And I think as women, like we kind of know this.
00:13:15.940 And sometimes like it...
00:13:17.940 I don't know.
00:13:18.940 But he's in the friend zone for a reason because you know you don't like him.
00:13:22.940 So it's not indecisive.
00:13:23.940 You just don't like him.
00:13:24.940 He's just there.
00:13:25.940 Yeah, that's true.
00:13:26.940 He's doing it to himself really.
00:13:27.940 Yeah, that's true.
00:13:28.940 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:13:32.940 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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00:13:59.940 No, we will be together listening to people...
00:14:01.040 Yeah, I want to guess.
00:14:02.940 Not a lot of timid.
00:14:03.940 arkan.
00:14:04.940 I want a lot of background winner to win. 0.95
00:14:05.940 Maybe you guys will be more deal...
00:14:06.940 I want to acknowledge the contest.
00:14:07.940 I want to remember this big like eltнуть.
00:14:09.940 If you want to have an amazing group,
00:14:10.940 I want to take them and give a round of practice for 2.