JustPearlyThings - June 22, 2023


Divorced Man EXPOSES The Horrors Of ＂BELIEVE ALL WOMEN＂


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

146.84906

Word count

2,011

Sentence count

551

Harmful content

Misogyny

26

sentences flagged

Toxicity

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak to an ex-wife who claims she was falsely accused of child abuse by her ex-husband's ex-partner, and how this led to a court order preventing her from ever seeing her son again.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 And this is a woman known for creating trouble amongst other families, known to the social 1.00
00:00:09.160 services, known for causing strife with her own ex-partner, creating stories about him.
00:00:18.380 She'd even go around deliberately boasting.
00:00:22.880 She flooded her own house so that she could claim on insurance and she got a holiday out
00:00:27.860 of it, all new.
00:00:30.300 So she was known around town as somebody who created...
00:00:33.540 Yeah, known around village, as fair to say, a very small rural community, known as a real
00:00:39.980 arch troublemaker.
00:00:41.540 Somewhere my ex-wife had become actually... 1.00
00:00:46.760 She was friendly, but then she had told her to keep a distance because even my ex-wife 1.00
00:00:53.020 didn't want her around before we split up.
00:00:55.980 So we split up, it was a different story.
00:00:58.420 So after you split up, she spent more time around this Emily S girl?
00:01:02.420 Emily S.P.S.
00:01:03.420 That's right.
00:01:04.420 S.P.S.
00:01:05.420 Okay.
00:01:06.420 And she basically... 1.00
00:01:08.420 And she's known for having false allegations against her ex-husband. 1.00
00:01:12.420 That's absolutely...
00:01:13.420 So this is something she's known for.
00:01:15.860 And...
00:01:16.860 Okay.
00:01:17.860 So essentially, you take your son on the picnic.
00:01:23.860 What happens next?
00:01:24.860 Well, we arrive back at my ex-wife's home.
00:01:28.860 My son's home.
00:01:31.300 And...
00:01:32.300 Emily S.P.S.
00:01:33.300 is there.
00:01:34.300 Right?
00:01:35.300 She's just waiting on the side of the road in this very small village.
00:01:38.300 Very rural road.
00:01:39.300 Hedges.
00:01:40.300 Very high hedges.
00:01:41.300 Just about wide enough for one car.
00:01:43.300 That sort of thing.
00:01:44.300 And she's there.
00:01:45.300 And...
00:01:46.300 I went down the window and said, hello, Emily, what are you doing here?
00:01:51.140 Um...
00:01:52.140 Not...
00:01:53.140 I've no idea what's going on.
00:01:55.140 And, uh...
00:01:56.340 She said, well...
00:01:58.740 She doesn't want to see you.
00:01:59.740 That I'm to take your son off.
00:02:01.980 Off you.
00:02:02.980 I said, well, that's not right, is it?
00:02:05.420 Where is...
00:02:06.420 Where is she?
00:02:07.420 I want to hand my son over to my...
00:02:10.100 My ex-wife.
00:02:11.020 As is normal.
00:02:12.820 No, no, can't do that.
00:02:15.300 Okay.
00:02:16.300 So...
00:02:17.300 I try my best to ignore her and just get out of the van and take...
00:02:21.780 My son gets out of the van and try...
00:02:23.780 I attempt to take him towards the house.
00:02:27.580 He...
00:02:28.580 He was carrying some...
00:02:30.980 Some things, some paper and some toys that I'd given him.
00:02:34.380 And this woman, Emily, grabbed at him.
00:02:38.460 Grabbed by his arm and dragged him away from my...
00:02:42.580 From his grandmother, my mother.
00:02:44.180 He dropped his things.
00:02:45.180 He started crying.
00:02:47.580 Dragged him into the house.
00:02:50.180 Got a mobile phone out.
00:02:51.660 So, I'm going to call the police.
00:02:52.660 I'm going to call the police.
00:02:54.660 Right.
00:02:56.660 Me and my mother, absolutely dumbstruck.
00:02:59.660 Right.
00:03:00.660 The allegation being that previously, I'd walked into the house...
00:03:04.660 Uninvited to get his jacket.
00:03:06.660 I'd already been in the house five minutes previously.
00:03:09.660 So, we'd got my son out of the house.
00:03:12.140 We'd put him in the van.
00:03:13.140 Oh, your jacket.
00:03:14.140 We forgot your jacket.
00:03:16.140 Now, I'd been invited to that house only a few days previously.
00:03:19.660 I'd just...
00:03:20.660 Right.
00:03:21.660 I'd run in.
00:03:22.660 Open the door.
00:03:23.660 Get the jacket.
00:03:24.660 Out we've come.
00:03:25.660 The allegation was that I opened the door into my ex-wife's face... 1.00
00:03:29.660 And started shouting at her. 1.00
00:03:32.660 Of course, it's all rubbish. 1.00
00:03:34.660 Right. 0.99
00:03:35.660 And...
00:03:36.660 Anyway, that was the allegation that came my way later.
00:03:41.660 That was the story anyway.
00:03:43.660 So, me and my mother, dumbfounded.
00:03:47.660 What on earth is this?
00:03:50.660 We thought...
00:03:51.660 We've got to go and see the police and just...
00:03:55.660 Make them aware.
00:03:56.660 I don't want to start throwing allegation.
00:03:59.660 Just make them aware of the situation.
00:04:02.660 Because this seems out of order.
00:04:04.660 This is escalating out of our control.
00:04:07.660 So, that's what we did.
00:04:09.660 We went to the police station.
00:04:11.660 We filed a child-related incident.
00:04:14.660 And...
00:04:15.660 Really, that was that for a few days.
00:04:18.660 And then, at work...
00:04:19.660 I worked at Wolverhampton University as a...
00:04:22.660 Sort of a...
00:04:24.660 Lecturer type of person, I suppose.
00:04:27.660 And...
00:04:28.660 One day, this huge envelope...
00:04:32.660 About a couple of inches thick, maybe.
00:04:35.660 A thud straight out of my desk.
00:04:38.660 I thought...
00:04:39.660 You know...
00:04:40.660 What on earth is this?
00:04:41.660 I opened it.
00:04:42.660 And...
00:04:43.660 Started reading.
00:04:44.660 Just allegation after allegation after allegation.
00:04:46.660 Just false allegations.
00:04:48.660 Non-molestation being made ex-party.
00:04:51.660 So...
00:04:52.660 That is basically a court order...
00:04:55.660 Against me approaching her or my son...
00:04:59.660 Without me even knowing about it.
00:05:01.660 Okay.
00:05:02.660 20 or 30...
00:05:03.660 False allegations.
00:05:04.660 You name it.
00:05:05.660 Coercive control.
00:05:06.660 Abuse.
00:05:07.660 Very few actual incidents...
00:05:11.660 Mentions.
00:05:12.660 Just tick boxes.
00:05:13.660 Oh yes, he...
00:05:14.660 Coercively controlled me.
00:05:16.660 Well...
00:05:17.660 Where?
00:05:18.660 You know...
00:05:19.660 What example are you referring to?
00:05:20.660 Non-given.
00:05:21.660 I was absolutely dumbfounded.
00:05:25.660 Well...
00:05:26.660 What hope is this?
00:05:28.660 I start ringing around.
00:05:29.660 Solicitors...
00:05:30.660 They start giving me these horrific quotes.
00:05:33.660 Tens of thousands of pounds.
00:05:35.660 Money I didn't have.
00:05:36.660 And...
00:05:38.660 Just the hopelessness...
00:05:40.660 Of the picture they were painting...
00:05:43.660 Was...
00:05:44.660 Distressing.
00:05:47.660 Anyway...
00:05:48.660 I'm...
00:05:49.660 I'm rabbiting on a bit.
00:05:50.660 So...
00:05:51.660 So...
00:05:52.660 You were...
00:05:53.660 Basically given a big...
00:05:55.660 Pile of papers...
00:05:56.660 With all these false allegations...
00:05:58.660 Where they would sort of spin...
00:06:00.660 Stories into coercive control.
00:06:03.660 So they would say...
00:06:04.660 Like when you said earlier...
00:06:05.660 When she moved in...
00:06:06.660 That like...
00:06:07.660 They made it seem like...
00:06:08.660 You forced her to move in... 1.00
00:06:09.660 Or you were waiting around her work.
00:06:10.660 Yes.
00:06:11.660 And so they just sent...
00:06:12.660 Like basically...
00:06:13.660 The last couple of years...
00:06:14.660 In your relationship...
00:06:15.660 It's all spun...
00:06:16.660 Yes.
00:06:17.660 Exactly right.
00:06:18.660 As...
00:06:19.660 As a control...
00:06:20.660 Okay.
00:06:21.660 Exactly right.
00:06:22.660 Financial control...
00:06:23.660 Was another...
00:06:24.660 Well...
00:06:25.660 Can you list all of the controls...
00:06:26.660 Or like all of the abuse...
00:06:27.660 That she accused you of...
00:06:28.660 Financial...
00:06:29.660 Coercive...
00:06:32.660 I mean...
00:06:33.660 That's it really...
00:06:34.660 Financial...
00:06:35.660 Abuse...
00:06:36.660 You know...
00:06:37.660 Domestic... 0.96
00:06:38.660 Abuse...
00:06:39.660 Domestic violence...
00:06:40.660 Okay...
00:06:41.660 Okay...
00:06:42.660 She had... 0.99
00:06:43.660 Accused me of throwing...
00:06:44.660 A wardrobe drawer...
00:06:45.660 At my son...
00:06:46.660 Okay...
00:06:47.660 Now...
00:06:48.660 What had actually transpired...
00:06:49.660 Was nothing of the sort...
00:06:50.660 What had happened...
00:06:51.660 Okay...
00:06:52.660 This was a...
00:06:53.660 This was an argument...
00:06:54.660 There's no doubt...
00:06:55.660 That this was an argument...
00:06:56.660 What had happened...
00:06:57.660 So...
00:06:58.660 This is...
00:06:59.660 Six months before...
00:07:00.660 We'd split up...
00:07:01.660 As well...
00:07:02.660 So she had... 0.64
00:07:03.660 She was going into local town...
00:07:05.660 To do some shopping...
00:07:06.660 I had my...
00:07:07.660 My car...
00:07:08.660 My Jaguar...
00:07:09.660 Right...
00:07:10.660 I've always been a...
00:07:11.660 Classic car man...
00:07:12.660 I had no money...
00:07:13.660 But this...
00:07:14.660 This counted as a family car...
00:07:16.660 Right...
00:07:17.660 And this is my one...
00:07:18.660 Kind of...
00:07:19.660 Pleasure in life...
00:07:20.660 I suppose...
00:07:21.660 And I said...
00:07:22.660 Oh...
00:07:23.660 Take the keys...
00:07:24.660 Off you go...
00:07:25.660 You know...
00:07:26.660 Use the car...
00:07:27.660 It's there...
00:07:28.660 Because...
00:07:29.660 We all enjoy it...
00:07:30.660 Don't we?
00:07:31.660 Um...
00:07:32.660 She had her own car...
00:07:33.660 So...
00:07:34.660 Just enjoy the Jag... 0.98
00:07:35.660 It's there for all of us...
00:07:37.660 And...
00:07:38.660 I...
00:07:39.660 I watched her get in the car...
00:07:40.660 Put my son in the child seat...
00:07:42.660 And...
00:07:43.660 I watched her reverse...
00:07:44.660 A very small driveway...
00:07:45.660 She was reversing clearly...
00:07:46.660 Towards the fence...
00:07:48.660 And I thought...
00:07:49.660 She's got that wrong...
00:07:50.660 So...
00:07:51.660 I ran out...
00:07:52.660 Of the house...
00:07:53.660 I said...
00:07:54.660 Please stop...
00:07:55.660 Please stop the car...
00:07:56.660 You're gonna reverse into the fence...
00:07:57.660 Um...
00:07:58.660 You know...
00:07:59.660 Do it like this...
00:08:00.660 Sort of thing...
00:08:01.660 Kept going...
00:08:02.660 Kept going...
00:08:03.660 Into the fence...
00:08:04.660 What are you doing?
00:08:05.660 Why have you reversed...
00:08:06.660 You know...
00:08:07.660 Scratch the back end...
00:08:08.660 All sorts of...
00:08:09.660 What are you doing?
00:08:10.660 And she... 1.00
00:08:11.660 You could see that...
00:08:12.660 Her becoming hysterical...
00:08:13.660 What...
00:08:14.660 What are you doing this for?
00:08:15.660 She reverses... 0.64
00:08:16.660 She drives forward... 1.00
00:08:17.660 And then she reverses into the fence again...
00:08:19.660 And I'm getting pretty irate by now...
00:08:22.660 Then she... 1.00
00:08:23.660 Drives forward...
00:08:24.660 And then she reverses into the fence again...
00:08:26.660 What...
00:08:28.660 What is this?
00:08:29.660 And then she... 1.00
00:08:30.660 She shot off forward... 1.00
00:08:31.660 Over a pile of rocks...
00:08:32.660 A car bouncing...
00:08:33.660 My son's in the car...
00:08:36.660 At the time...
00:08:37.660 This is...
00:08:38.660 Insane...
00:08:39.660 This wasn't an hour...
00:08:41.660 You know...
00:08:42.660 There's no reason for all this...
00:08:43.660 Anyway...
00:08:44.660 She comes back...
00:08:45.660 Half an hour later...
00:08:46.660 I'm pretty angry...
00:08:48.660 I mean...
00:08:49.660 But...
00:08:50.660 I would say...
00:08:51.660 Justifiably so...
00:08:52.660 And...
00:08:53.660 I told my...
00:08:54.660 I told her...
00:08:55.660 Look...
00:08:56.660 Just leave me alone...
00:08:57.660 For a while...
00:08:58.660 Okay...
00:08:59.660 I'm gonna have to...
00:09:00.660 Calm down...
00:09:01.660 You probably wanna leave me alone...
00:09:03.660 Because she starts... 0.72
00:09:04.660 Following me throughout the house...
00:09:06.660 And screaming at me...
00:09:07.660 And...
00:09:08.660 She won't leave me alone...
00:09:10.660 And I'm...
00:09:11.660 For some reason...
00:09:12.660 I have to change my clothes...
00:09:13.660 Or whatever...
00:09:14.660 I'm looking in the wardrobe...
00:09:15.660 And I get frustrated...
00:09:16.660 I pull a wardrobe out...
00:09:18.660 A wardrobe drawer out...
00:09:19.660 And I let it fall to the floor...
00:09:21.660 And...
00:09:22.660 Pretty childish...
00:09:24.660 I admit...
00:09:25.660 Yeah...
00:09:26.660 But not abuse...
00:09:27.660 Not...
00:09:28.660 Not thrown at anyone...
00:09:29.660 Yeah...
00:09:30.660 Not directed at her...
00:09:31.660 Or anyone else...
00:09:32.660 But it's like...
00:09:33.660 Anything you do to respond at all...
00:09:34.660 They just say...
00:09:35.660 Oh look...
00:09:36.660 There's abuse...
00:09:37.660 But they don't talk about...
00:09:38.660 Like what started it...
00:09:39.660 No...
00:09:40.660 Well the point is that...
00:09:41.660 And it wasn't abuse...
00:09:42.660 To even begin with...
00:09:43.660 No...
00:09:44.660 That's not abuse...
00:09:45.660 That is...
00:09:46.660 That is something I regret...
00:09:47.660 Something I apologize for...
00:09:49.660 Something pretty damn silly...
00:09:51.660 What happened immediately... 0.95
00:09:53.660 Do you think...
00:09:54.660 How long ago was that...
00:09:55.660 From when she gave you the papers?
00:09:57.660 Six months before...
00:09:58.660 Do you think she was...
00:10:00.660 Planning this?
00:10:02.660 Because if she... 1.00
00:10:03.660 If she has like...
00:10:04.660 A documents this big...
00:10:05.660 I would think that...
00:10:06.660 She'd basically been taking notes...
00:10:08.660 Of things...
00:10:09.660 Yeah...
00:10:10.660 I would go along with that...
00:10:11.660 I think there was a...
00:10:12.660 There was a...
00:10:13.660 Build up towards this...
00:10:14.660 Now what had happened...
00:10:15.660 As she strayed away...
00:10:17.660 My son was in...
00:10:20.660 The room adjacent...
00:10:21.660 And I remember this very clearly...
00:10:23.660 That she went...
00:10:24.660 He was aware of this...
00:10:26.660 Of what had gone on...
00:10:28.660 But she went...
00:10:29.660 Got my son...
00:10:30.660 Brought him in...
00:10:31.660 And started shouting at me...
00:10:32.660 That I had thrown the drawer at...
00:10:34.660 At him...
00:10:35.660 There and then...
00:10:36.660 Right...
00:10:37.660 I thought...
00:10:38.660 What?
00:10:39.660 He wasn't even in the room...
00:10:40.660 Then she starts... 0.75
00:10:41.660 Then she... 1.00
00:10:42.660 Walked up to me...
00:10:43.660 And started hitting me...
00:10:44.660 As hard as she could...
00:10:45.660 I...
00:10:46.660 I...
00:10:47.660 Restrained her... 0.98
00:10:48.660 I said...
00:10:49.660 Look...
00:10:50.660 Please just calm down...
00:10:51.660 Right...
00:10:52.660 You scratched my car...
00:10:53.660 It's not the end of the world...
00:10:54.660 Let's just calm down...
00:10:55.660 I was...
00:10:56.660 Kind of...
00:10:57.660 Taken aback...
00:10:58.660 By that...
00:10:59.660 And I thought...
00:11:00.660 This is...
00:11:01.660 This is odd...
00:11:02.660 Six months before...
00:11:03.660 We then had...
00:11:04.660 My son being...
00:11:06.660 He'd always...
00:11:08.660 Known how to...
00:11:09.660 Speak Polish... 0.96
00:11:10.660 And I...
00:11:11.660 Of course I encouraged it...
00:11:12.660 I...
00:11:13.660 Trying to...
00:11:14.660 Learn it myself...
00:11:15.660 And...
00:11:16.660 I was very...
00:11:17.660 Proud of his...
00:11:18.660 Polish... 0.96
00:11:19.660 Ancestry...
00:11:20.660 I love Poland...
00:11:21.660 Why...
00:11:22.660 Why not?
00:11:23.660 Start to abuse me... 0.97
00:11:25.660 In Polish...
00:11:26.660 So I didn't know what she was saying...
00:11:27.660 And she would...
00:11:28.660 Train...
00:11:29.660 My son to swear at me...
00:11:30.660 In Polish...
00:11:31.660 Right...
00:11:32.660 And I...
00:11:33.660 And he...
00:11:34.660 And he would laugh at me...
00:11:35.660 Right... 1.00
00:11:36.660 Stupid ass... 1.00
00:11:37.660 Daddy's a stupid ass... 1.00
00:11:39.660 In... 1.00
00:11:40.660 You know... 1.00
00:11:41.660 Daddy's a cretin... 1.00
00:11:43.660 Tu jesteś cretinka... 1.00
00:11:44.660 You know...
00:11:45.660 I remember that...
00:11:46.660 And...
00:11:47.660 And my son...
00:11:48.660 Laughing...
00:11:49.660 Was this while you were together?
00:11:50.660 Or after?
00:11:51.660 Yeah...
00:11:52.660 It was during the last six months...
00:11:53.660 Really...
00:11:54.660 I suppose...
00:11:55.660 And it was just an air...
00:11:56.660 So while you were still together...
00:11:57.660 She was teaching your son to swear at you... 0.62
00:11:59.660 Yes...
00:12:00.660 Yeah...
00:12:01.660 Look...
00:12:02.660 It started...
00:12:03.660 It started as a joke...
00:12:04.660 Right...
00:12:05.660 I'm...
00:12:06.660 I've got a pretty well developed sense of humour... 0.96
00:12:07.660 I can take the piss... 0.91
00:12:08.660 I can... 0.86
00:12:09.660 I can laugh at myself...
00:12:10.660 That's fine...
00:12:11.660 But it...
00:12:12.660 There comes a point where jokes stop being jokes...
00:12:14.660 It's disrespectful...
00:12:15.660 It's disrespectful...
00:12:16.660 And it becomes disrespect...
00:12:17.660 And hatred...
00:12:18.660 So...
00:12:19.660 You get the abuse documents...
00:12:22.660 Um...
00:12:23.660 And was that the last time you saw your son...
00:12:25.660 The picnic?
00:12:26.660 For six months...
00:12:27.660 Yes...
00:12:28.660 Okay...
00:12:29.660 So what...
00:12:30.660 What happened after you got those documents?
00:12:31.660 She wouldn't let you see them?
00:12:32.660 No...
00:12:33.660 That...
00:12:34.660 What...
00:12:35.660 What...
00:12:36.660 So a...
00:12:37.660 She had approached...
00:12:38.660 Family court...
00:12:39.660 Um...
00:12:40.660 I had taken her to see her solicitor...
00:12:42.660 Mm-hmm...
00:12:43.660 Right...
00:12:44.660 And she bragged about this... 1.00
00:12:46.660 To my mother...
00:12:47.660 I've taken her to see my solicitor...
00:12:50.660 Mm-hmm...
00:12:51.660 Because my...
00:12:52.660 My mother had approached the house...
00:12:53.660 Dropped...
00:12:54.660 Dropped off gifts...
00:12:55.660 Of course the police...
00:12:57.660 Were...
00:12:58.660 Were...
00:12:59.660 Accosting my...
00:13:00.660 My mother...
00:13:01.660 Threatening her...
00:13:02.660 Uh...
00:13:03.660 Not to approach...
00:13:04.660 She had no reason... 0.90
00:13:05.660 You know...
00:13:06.660 There's nothing...
00:13:07.660 There's no reason why my...
00:13:08.660 My mother can't... 1.00
00:13:09.660 Can't see her grandson...
00:13:11.660 You know...
00:13:12.660 I found her.
00:13:13.660 Copy...
00:13:14.660 So...
00:13:15.660 Anyway...
00:13:16.660 What we're...
00:13:17.660 Whoo...
00:13:18.660 Would you...
00:13:19.660 noticed...
00:13:20.660 You know...
00:13:21.660 There it is.
00:13:22.660 You летz...
00:13:23.660 This is due...
00:13:24.660 I...
00:13:25.660 He's...
00:13:26.660 Down here...
00:13:27.660 Mednych... 0.83
00:13:28.660 My God...
00:13:29.660 I tried to go...
00:13:30.660 Mm-hmm...
00:13:31.660 ust...
00:13:32.660 NI-
00:13:33.660 My God...
00:13:34.660 By
00:13:35.660 Byarsi...
00:13:37.660 My God...
00:13:38.660 Who're...
00:13:39.660 so...
00:13:40.660 Hi!