He HATES Hearing Truth About Obesity and The Shame That Comes with it
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss the role of body positivity in promoting health, mental health and weight loss. We also discuss the importance of weight loss and how it relates to body positive ideals like body positive body image.
Transcript
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um first question would you say health is a priority to you yeah a hundred percent one
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thousand percent a hundred percent a thousand percent one in theory what does in theory mean
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yes no well it's a loaded question i can say that health is a priority um but i think i have
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unhealthy habits that i'm not actively addressing okay some of them i'm trying to yeah the progress
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is slow but it's there um so yeah i'd say it's a it is a priority but um there are levels to it okay
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what about you is health a priority yeah i think health is a complete priority but i also don't
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think that that totally relates to body positivity okay if that makes sense okay what explain that
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more um so for me like health is a priority um it's something i struggle with like i struggle if i could
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press a button and be like the healthiest weight in the world of course i'd push it in an instant
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and i think anyone would be lying if they said that they wouldn't push that button to just be a healthy
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weight instantly and and have all these things but um for me i struggle with it and i don't think that
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that makes me a bad person i don't think that means i should think less of myself for that and that's why
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i don't really associate that with body positivity because i don't hate myself for it even if it's
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something i should aspire to okay i think the gals had long answers there a lot of the guys in the room
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immediately go 100 percent thousand percent and then for the girls it's like ah it's complicated
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it's long answer yeah i just feel like is it a priority or is it not a priority it should be a
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i think all-around priority yeah that is one thousand percent of priority that's the reason
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why you wake up is the reason why you get off your bed and walk like you have to be healthy to be
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able to live right so who here um would you would say is actively trying to lose weight i am you are
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100 percent you are and what what have you guys done is it like workout diet yeah gym membership
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going to the gym trying to be more consistent with it and um making adjustments to eating habits
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but also mindset okay what do you mean by mindset uh not seeing working out and you know the steps
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towards prioritizing my health which are admittedly quite difficult some of them more than others as
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punishment but seeing it as a reward i think health is a reward for discipline um and just loving
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yourself a little bit more but if you see it as punishment it becomes something that you don't want
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to do so yeah changing my mindset to reward as opposed to punishment that's good um kent could you
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turn up the headphones a little bit i'm just having a hard time hearing people um okay thank you
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um okay so next question do you guys think that body positivity promotes healthiness promotes health
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depends what aspect they're looking at it from um body positivity i know in the last last week we had
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this discussion about body positivity and for me it's not about me being on a big magazine or people like me
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being promoted it's more about um like for example being accommodated for in in public services and
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being mistreated just because of the size now i understand um i am the size i am but at the end of
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the day people with disabilities are also my size and people how how do you know if i don't have a
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hidden disability no one knows so i'm just saying that's why to me body positivity is important so
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that people don't get mistreated um i think that body positivity isn't important in terms of mental
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health i think there's a lot of people that really hate themselves because of their weight and i personally
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like on my socials get a lot of comments from people saying that they are so happy to see somebody
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my size comfortable with themselves and happy and posing in bikinis and things like that like all of my
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last instagram posts have been me in bikinis and i've got so many comments from people being like
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wow i wish i could wear that or i am gonna wear that because you wore that and it makes me feel
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like i can which i think some people would take as a back landed compliment but for me like as somebody
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i'm trying to lose weight i'm trying to be healthier because i know it's a priority i know something i need
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to do in my life but it's not my reality right now like i'm not at my full health i'm not the best i
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could possibly be but i'm still i don't hate myself for that and i think that um the fat shaming movement and
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like just being like these fat whales like what the are they doing who would say that
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that's like a horrible your whole chat right now everyone in the chat right now i don't know what
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you're talking about hey hey hey hey hey hey i only i say the whales no but unless i am insulted or
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attacked then i will i don't think that fat shaming helps anyone lose weight and i think
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the way that i have been though is i'm like i've i've gone online and i've said like i want to
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lose weight and i've held myself accountability like online really like yeah i made a video how
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much weight have you lost so since i made that video i've lost a stone okay that's great yeah
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how much is how much is a stone i i know i don't know either i just 14 pounds 14 pounds okay like seven
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okay okay yeah so i made a video because i wasn't allowed down a slide that i wanted to go down
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and that was like a moment for me where i was like oh like i should be allowed down this slide
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you know like that was a moment where i felt like okay i need to do something and it wasn't because
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i felt shame or whatever it was just like a bit of a like oh the average person can do this and i
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can't do it yeah so i was like i need to lose weight but it doesn't mean i don't respect anyone
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less for being overweight i understand what it's like to be overweight i've been skinny i've been
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overweight and i just i do think the body positivity moment is important for people to to like
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themselves and i think the best way to lose weight is is by liking yourself because you're doing something
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good for yourself i actually think that for me personally when i lost weight it was because i
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didn't like myself i didn't like the way i looked and then it motivated me to lose weight so i and
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actually it was funny because when i did lose weight it was because someone i mean they didn't bully me
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directly but they were talking about how they would never date a girl over 200 pounds and i was like no
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i'm over yeah i thought he was cute so i was like no well pearl baby there's everybody for everybody
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what pearl baby there's everything for everybody if you're overweight you're 30 um you're 30 as a
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woman you're 30 like you're 30 less likely to get you need to stop following statistics because you
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got listen yeah you don't know the power that big women have they captivate men i've seen it happen
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i've seen it happen i'm not even joking it's true you're also six foot though i would say 200
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pound on you would look very different on five foot four 200 pound oh it's not to say like i know
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that's why they were making fun of it they didn't know how big i was at the time but but no i was
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still overweight so it's still like i was still overweight when i looked at like my numbers so
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you know but it helped me like i ended up losing like 30 pounds at the time so and i never gained it
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back so you seem like a person who's well adjusted and quite mentally stable though and i don't think
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that's the case for everybody and i think when you tell a lot of fat people like you're overweight
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and that's disgusting they'll come for you and if you don't come for it that's never been in your
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nature you're never going to do that well yeah but i think the solution would be to maybe stop
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comfort even eating and like figure something else out comforting is a coping mechanism that people do
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that makes them overweight you know so when you tell someone like you're a fat cow they're going to be
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like oh i'm sad so i'm going to come for you i think we change the definition of body positivity
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because what body positivity is to me is numbers if you step on a scale and you see some numbers
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and then you become a better version of yourself every single day week or month and you see numbers
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that improve that's a positive result so body positive sorry body positivity is becoming better
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every day yeah but i feel like the question was does body positivity promote health and it's not
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it does yeah exactly if you're if you're telling people it's okay to be at a heavy weight or okay
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to be obese and that's not healthy by the science it's not possible to be healthy so to answer pearl's
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question it doesn't promote health it doesn't promote positivity i would say it promotes mental health
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not physical health no because that's not the aim of the game but in terms of mental health and making
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people feel guilty about themselves and likely to make good choices about themselves i don't i just would
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think the first step with mental health is your eating still because they say sugar affects your
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brain i i could pull up the research on it but i know there's like negative mental health effects
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from sugar this is true but i think the point of body positivity is not to say that it's okay to be
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fat and to encourage people to be fat yeah in answer like i completely agree with you body positivity
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does not necessarily promote health but it promotes not hating yourself while you look like what you look
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like don't waste a perfectly good day inside feeling like you can't go to that party or you you know
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you can't go to work and being a shut-in because you think people are gonna like take the mick out
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of you because you're fat like don't waste a perfectly good life because you're not where you
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want to be right now yeah like absolutely the body positivity movement you know it should um focus
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on health a little bit more but i think for the individuals concerned it's about not hating themselves and
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as i said not punishing themselves for not being where they want to be well she's saying mental
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health but wouldn't it be better like in pearl's case to get bullied and say hey you're getting
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a bit pudgy you're getting a bit fat maybe lose the weight and that'll promote better mental health
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and you know you're more comfortable with how you look yeah you're feeling healthier i don't know
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i'm not saying i'm for bullying but if it gets you to forget you to a better place and more
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comfortable with how you look i i think it's uh it's the right way to go especially when it comes to your
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physique and how you look and how would you know that i also think people misplace body
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positivity with mental positivity so what we're talking about is mental positivity like what you
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just explained is it's more in control of the mind than the body because when you think about body
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positivity and that we're promoting obesity or fat then it's not positive it's more going into the
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negative zone and statistically numbers would show that wouldn't you rather have someone that pulls
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your side and say hey i think you're getting a little bit unhealthy or hey you're putting on
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some weight maybe you should hit the gym eat healthier i'd like to have someone in my life
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like that put pulling me in check but like you know if you're fat like i've been skinny and i've been
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fat and i've known when i'm fat i don't need anyone to tell me that i'm fat like i can see the numbers
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on the scale i can see all my clothes don't fit like they used to like you don't need someone to tell
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you you're fat i don't know it's like it's every christmas at my grandma's house
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i would just know there's that one relative that if i came back fatter they would say something to me
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and it kind of motivated me every year because i'm like i don't want that aunt to you know but you
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know you know if you're fat like and sometimes people talk to fat people like they're not self-aware
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like they they know you know i know when i'm overweight i know i've been incredibly good shape before like i
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was in drama school where i was working out 12 hours a day but like now i'm not and i'm fat and i'm aware
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that i'm fat i don't even want to tell me that i'm fat and bullying like i mean for me it doesn't really
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work because i just phase out i mean i'm like i've been online for a long time so the things
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that people say don't affect me but for most people bullying famously does not work like it
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doesn't make me people feel good it doesn't make them work harder it's i don't know you guys are
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speaking i don't know what i have to say is body positivity is to me just really accepting the way
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you look and for me ain't gonna lie i agree with to some i do agree with a lot of what you're saying and
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but when you when being overweight has been an issue your whole life and then people are also people also
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make comments as an adult like people have always just targeted you for that and to me to be honest
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it just scrambled my head and it wasn't good for me um so body positivity to me is basically accepting
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the way you look and to be honest i hated i wasn't happy with my body pearl i really wasn't and are you
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happy with it now i am okay okay firstly i'm like i am what i am but i make i make conscious decisions
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like to eat healthy things yeah and i'm also not gonna lie and say i'm the most healthiest because
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what last week you were saying no no no no no no no but yeah but today is about is where we are in a room
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with personal trainers yeah of course i love chicken and tits and certain things um and i can't help it
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we too by moderation no no it's not about moderation my weight is old weight but i actually again i can't
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have it in the house otherwise i'll just eat the whole box no but i don't i don't eat in the house my dad
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actually has cancer so in my house everything is there's no processed food at all and that's why
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it's just literally you have to if you want to drink drink you have to juice it yourself if you want to
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get ice cream you want to you to make it yourself and that's full of vitacocles like boxes so that's
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how it goes and then there's not even a microwave at home as well so i can't actually heat my food like
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everything is basically in the best way that i can cook and what about the people out there who are
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maybe in a similar situation to you where they don't have access to processed or unhealthy foods
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at home but they still seek those things when they're out of the house what what would you say
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to those people who actively seek unhealthy food i'd say my advice honestly would be
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you don't want a heart attack you don't want to die early you want to survive you want to build
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some memories you want to be a grandmother or a grandpa and it's important to actually think
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and that's what i mean you need to but wouldn't that be a better message for the body positivity
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movement to say rather than love yourself 100 like what you just said you just because you you could
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you could get cancelled nowadays for what sugar puff okay no because it's like you know if like lizzo comes
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out and says hey i'm i'm i want to start losing weight all the fans start coming for her and you
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know she she just wants to better herself and get healthy it's like if you're saying oh you're gonna
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die soon and no i don't i don't i don't i don't i don't think it's like that for me it's literally i
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am not delusional with myself i am big i know i'm big but at the end of the day i don't promote
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the reason why i'm for body positivity is because people literally get mistreated and i'm against
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that and especially with how do you how do you think that how do you how do you think people get
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mistreated um well i was 28 stones i was at my biggest um now i'm 21 and and like i said i've been
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eating healthy and i've actually actively been trying yes i'm not on it with the exercise but you
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we could be remember yes we could we could actually actually want muscles you know i actually do
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want muscles but that's why body positivity is important the representation is important now i
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understand but what about like smoking you know i mean like like like what if we wanted to normalize
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smoking and put smoking on the okay at the end of the day smoking is literally your it's a different
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method smoking is that's what smoking is and eating is you're using your mouth you're using your teeth
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and your taste buds are working with smoking it's just well my point is like normalizing something
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that's i would say obesity like yeah it's it's an ill i mean i don't know if i'd go as far to say
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i don't even think it's about normalizing people
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just need to gain some respect and know that people are individuals now if you really want to
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make an active difference if you guys really want to make an active difference when you see a big
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person you'd be like come on man let's run or let's play a game or let's do something like actively
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make a difference i would challenge you as well to find me like a body positivity movement that's like
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eat junk do whatever you want that's not what it is yeah well it's not promoting unhealthy no i i see
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girls do it all the time they do what i eat in a day i just reacted to one the other day it was like
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fourth oh my gosh yes a lot of eating yes it's like fourth i counted four thousand five hundred
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calories what yeah that's what i said four thousand five hundred calories in a day they do like this is
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what i ate today as a fat person i think this is what that's yeah i'm against that and and i'm like to
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me that's like like this is how i smoked right i don't think we should normalize it with that like for me
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personally i would never show uh that because i don't want to promote unhealthy things in the same
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way that if i smoked or vaped i wouldn't show me smoking or vaping on my page because it's not
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something that i would be proud of you know um but like i i wouldn't support that and i wouldn't
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call that the body positivity movement for what it means to me is people just accepting themselves
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for who they are um wanting the best for themselves and i don't think there's anything wrong with
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that whether you're fat whether you're skinny whether you're anorexic i think that the body
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positivity movement applies to you i think it's just enjoying who you are and not letting that
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hold if i thought too much about what i look in a bikini i would never wear one you know but i
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don't care so i just wear one and i enjoy how i feel hey i'm pro i'm pro modesty you know what i mean
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yeah but i mean you can have a modest bikini can i tell you what's wrong with that with the world
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i'll see you i'll see what's wrong with the world big statement okay no no that is a big statement
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you can tell us no i i'll tell you no go ahead go ahead it's a pod this is what we're here to do come
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on everyone everyone has an issue with everyone everyone is like no they should be like this they
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should be like that everyone just needs to simply mind their own business and and when i say that i
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don't mean in a bad way it's like for example he like you said i don't know if you said it did you
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say fat shaming works is that what yeah okay so for example fat shaming now imagine an unhealthy
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person like me and i i mean i try and be healthy yes but it is what it is and i'm body positive
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because i i honestly i've learned to love my body now a pearl and i'm sticking with that but if i can
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lose weight i would as well so but then that's no no no it's body positivity no no no body positivity
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is all about just accepting the way you look and being happy and actually just be like yeah this
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is how i look i think we should always be trying to get better no yes we can we should always be
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trying to improve we can get better but sugar puff it doesn't mean we can't be fly and look hot and
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press ourselves oh i was just to your point though sugar puff right you said what's wrong with the world
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people are saying you should live this way you should live this way but it's not it say it's the body
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positivity movement saying hey we should be comfortable as this where realistically what
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if that's killing you and then to your point as well what pearl's saying if it's like smoking
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smoking's an addiction you brought up comfort eating and that's how people cope that's an addiction
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so it's you can treat it the same as smoking when it promotes smoking as it's all it's all sweet you
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know if you're comfortable smoking and you're happy smoking keep doing it we're not saying you should
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live that way we're just saying not even we it's not even we just i think rational people
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are saying if you're going to keep going down that route you're probably going to die you're
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going to lower your life expectancy that's not okay so imagine that's just the truth imagine look
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you're a fit person you're fit you exercise i can see that you take care of yourself and that
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now imagine yeah there's a big person and they're already kind of suffering we know they're unhealthy
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they're suffering they've got knee problems they've got all sorts and now they ain't even they're not
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even surviving like they're finding it hard and i'm talking about an unhealthy big person and now
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you're saying ah you're fat ha ha ha when i would never do that never do that who does that i just
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want people do and that's what i faced i have faced that pearl that's the side thing i faced it
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so when you i'm sorry obviously you may not do that but people do that i'd like to hear from the pt
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i want to see i want to see how you respond to this yeah i have a cousin from trinidad two weeks ago
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that died from a cardiac arrest due to over obesity now she was one of the most comfortable in asking
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happiest person make everyone laugh type of person and she was definitely unbuttered with this entire
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world would you call that body positivity that's very sad and i'm sorry for your loss um no i don't
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think that what you've just said relates to body positivity um i think that's incredibly unfortunate
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what's happened but like do i think that if people had been harsher on her she would have lost the weight
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no i i don't you know i don't think that's how it works i don't think being mean to people makes them
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lose weight yeah but talking about body positivity does it help does talking to you nice help yeah
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i think it's talking to you just to be kind to themselves it's a long way i think it just makes
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you comfortable to do the same thing it's not at the same time it depends on what type of person you
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are in it so depending on what makes you tick you know i'm saying so some people might respond to body
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shaming whereas other people might like respond to some a different type of method you know wait
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if it helped wouldn't you see most of these influencers lose weight i mean i am an influencer
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and i'm actively trying to lose weight and i've documented it on my platform and i've said how
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i've struggled with it like i find it really difficult what part of it do you struggle with though
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uh for me like i so i have a lot of problems related to when i used to be quite thin i was very very
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unhealthy um and it meant that when i was thin um i went to a so when i was like doing acting and stuff
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i was in a theater company where they would write all our weights on the wall and it was always like
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the goal not to be the biggest person and everyone was skinny right so i have a lot of problems around
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that around weight around weighing myself obsessively and um because of that like i would just restrict
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and binge and restrict and binge and restrict and binge which um at the time i was making myself sick
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so i stayed skinny and then when i stopped throwing up i got very fat because i didn't break
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the patterns but i still had the eating disorder of the restrict and binge and restrict and binge
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restrict and binge so when i stopped throwing up i just gained all the weight and that's still
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something i struggle with like i restrict and restrict and restrict and i feel very in control
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when i restrict um but then i will binge when i've had a vulnerable moment or i've had an argument
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with my boyfriend or something in my life has gone wrong um and i struggle with that but i think the
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point is that across the board i don't see plus size influencers that have built their brand on body
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positivity losing weight across the board uh if anything i see them get fatter and i see them drop
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dead and they're like mid 30s because they're getting rewarded you're getting paid to be a plus
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size model like your example why would you want to lose weight if you're getting paid to be in a plus
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size ad yeah but for me if i'm plus size i'm plus size and sorry um what was i gonna say so he just
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went out of went went out of my mouth i'm sorry i would say that there's also a difference between
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like i'm a plus if you lose weight yeah are you still gonna get plus size jobs um so in terms of
00:23:39.040
modeling yes uh but right now i would say i'm at a weight where i feel i feel unhealthy i can still be
00:23:46.240
un like overweight and feel healthy i could still qualify for plus size jobs based on my height and
00:23:51.920
things like that because i'm shorter and curvier i'll still qualify and i still worked in plus size
00:23:56.320
when i was technically like a healthy weight on paper i was still plus size because i had big boobs
00:24:00.960
a big bum and i was short and that's sort of what qualifies you for plus size modeling so i did still
00:24:05.760
work in that then i've changed agencies when i've if you were like if you were 120 pounds would you
00:24:11.120
still get plus size modeling gigs no but i'd still be an influencer and i'd still be very
00:24:15.040
likable and i think people would still follow my content we're just asking about the plus size
00:24:18.640
it's a hustle yeah and yeah you're you're likable you can do well but you don't just build yourself
00:24:22.560
just on nobody follows someone just because they're like oh this is a fat person i'm going to follow
00:24:25.680
them like nobody's following tess holiday just because i mean apart from the fetish people
00:24:29.920
she wouldn't be famous if she wasn't fat but you're in influence influence right so people follow you
00:24:36.000
because why i agree i i would say that being overweight being obese being fat is oftentimes a hustle
00:24:45.040
it can be a brand it can be your identity just like being a pt can be your identity one is
00:24:52.080
better than the other it's better for the individual at the end of the day in this economy
00:24:57.200
they both make money unfortunately um and i would agree that being obese is oftentimes incentivized
00:25:03.440
especially if we're talking about being an influencer um like the the video that you mentioned pearl about
00:25:09.840
uh sort of someone who is plus size doing a what i eat in a day it would be very easy for a person
00:25:14.720
like that to secure a brand deal and start advertising i don't know like corn vegetarian
00:25:19.920
sausages and they add that in and say it's vegetarian so it's fine it's healthy i'm not eating meat but
00:25:25.760
then they still eat like a six pack of donuts in a day so i think what we're talking about if we're
00:25:31.200
talking about obesity being incentivized economically we're then talking about essentially hustle culture
00:25:39.280
and it is it's just a hustle it's just an opening for a company to make more money you know it's
00:25:42.960
simple as that i would actually argue with that on saying when i made a video saying i was gonna lose
00:25:48.960
weight and it went viral because i made i made a video that was embarrassing and i said i couldn't get
00:25:53.040
down a slide and i was really embarrassed i want to lose weight and that did really well in the algorithm
00:25:57.280
and i got so many sponsorships and companies emailing me with their weight loss products
00:26:02.720
because that is a huge industry and i think that's far bigger than any body positivity or
00:26:07.200
an industry like the weight loss industry is the huge thing i instantly had people being like take
00:26:11.200
our lollies take our diet drinks take this take that show it in your tick tock yeah i think weight
00:26:15.440
loss is a bigger industry than than people being like i'm plus size and it's cool would you rather
00:26:21.760
take weight loss products or stay as a plus size model um i mean i don't think the weight loss products
00:26:27.040
work i don't think those lollipops and i mean calorie deficit works yeah it sucks but it works
00:26:33.680
like um but i again i've said like i struggle if i could press a button and just be as you can say
00:26:38.640
but you know if uh one is both detrimental to you which would you rather not eating and you know maybe
00:26:46.960
having the products that are forcing you into a calorie deficit or staying at an unhealthy weight
00:26:51.680
what are you taking i mean i i've already said like if i could press a button and be a healthy
00:26:55.200
weight and have a healthy relationship with food i would press it but that's just not the reality
00:26:58.320
for me and a lot of other people and for me it's been a grind and like i have been losing weight but
00:27:02.400
it's hard what's the solution like what's the okay you say for it's a grind for a lot of people but what
00:27:07.680
what is the actual solution of losing for me i think the solution is telling people to like themselves
00:27:13.520
to do the best thing for themselves and not hate themselves in the process
00:27:16.640
like i said it's about body positivity is literally accepting the way you are
00:27:25.120
if i'm plus size i'm plus size and that's why i tell people accept the way you look be happy
00:27:31.520
you are the way you are and you should really embrace the way you are because when you're not
00:27:36.480
happy with yourself you don't it affects you in work you don't have no confidence no self-esteem
00:27:42.800
and yeah you should be able to do anything just beep and body positivity again i'm gonna say it
00:27:48.400
again it's literally accepting the way you look let me get a little bit deep with it if someone was
00:27:53.280
to die from obesity what would you tell that person honestly i'd say do you know what you should have
00:27:59.680
eaten healthy and you should have exercised you need the reason why we don't tell the person is going
00:28:03.760
to be i'm not telling anyone to be but i think the point is like the the most common theme i've heard
00:28:08.720
is is it just accept how you are okay wait wait wait wait so this is the most common thing i've heard
00:28:14.080
would you guys agree just accept how you are like to like yourself to like the way to like yourself
00:28:19.920
accept how you are don't don't hate yourself for being fat pearl bear in mind we're not trying to
00:28:25.920
promote well i'm not trying to promote promote unhealthiness if you watch my tiktoks and my instagram
00:28:30.880
i'm dancing i'm active even on my stories if you're over if you're overweight and you accept that
00:28:38.160
then you're accepting like a higher risk for diabetes you're accepting a higher risk for early
00:28:44.160
okay you're accepting a higher risk for a heart attack i'm going to explain something like you
00:28:48.640
have all these okay okay so for example and and and the thing is like you're you're i want to wait wait
00:28:53.520
wait and so and and the thing is like your families are the ones that are going to have to take care of
00:28:58.000
you if you can't take care of yourself if you get too big so like then it's not just your problem
00:29:03.440
it becomes other people's problems more comfortable to get the less you check your numbers as well
00:29:08.720
i feel like people who comfortable in their obesity don't check it don't even check and the one thing
00:29:13.120
i don't like is like they'll say it's like unhealthy to weigh yourself every day when i i lost weight by
00:29:18.560
weighing myself every day and i don't think that's like they did studies and they found that the people
00:29:23.360
they didn't give them a diet or anything but the people that would just weighed themselves every single
00:29:27.280
day lost the most weight yeah it's just a journey like for me is honestly a journey and that's why
00:29:35.280
i just promote you know because i know confidence is such a big thing that's why i promote like
00:29:41.760
body positivity and it's not about obesity it's just about literally i think i think it does become about
00:29:47.440
obesity when it's like we're putting on well it's like okay if an only fans model puts on a thong
00:29:52.720
and puts that on and says i'm not promoting sexuality well you kind of are and so if you're
00:29:57.760
if you're overweight and you're and you're putting your body out as many of you know i was just banned
00:30:03.040
on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please
00:30:10.320
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