Her Instagram Is More Important Than Her Relationship
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
199.87895
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the concept of boundaries in relationships and what they mean to us and how they can affect the way we view our relationships. We also discuss the term "coercusality" and whether or not it is a crime in relationships.
Transcript
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where you deserve that do you think relationships require sacrifice yes okay so why wouldn't you
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sacrifice instagram because i don't think our relationship is based on that okay what if you
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what if you just says this is a boundary for me i know women we love our boundaries
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and so manipulating you think it's manipulative to ask you to delete instagram at the beginning
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of the relationship yeah okay why because i don't think we trust each other so much at the beginning
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is it is it manipulative if i say i don't date guys that go to clubs
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in a way yeah because you don't type you don't date that type of man okay what about you would
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you delete your instagram no i would not delete my instagram okay not even for the right guy
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no he's rich rich handsome got a six-pack abs he says only the only one thing i need i just need
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the instagram off the phone no i'll move you into my mansion i'll really no because i you know i'm
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self-made i run my business through my instagram and that would be giving away something that's dear
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to me and important and where i spend a lot of my time as well with work so um i think it's quite
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coercive and what does coercive mean coercive is where someone goes if i give you this then
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or if you do this for me then i'll give you that it's it's almost so it's it's if it's
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say that again it's if i give you this so if i give you something then yeah then you get something
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else there's a reward perhaps like coercion is like trying to manipulate or to maneuver people into
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a shape that you want them to be in so i don't agree with that so it's influencing somebody
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yeah but it can be in quite a strong way like coercion is actually against the law
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in relationships yeah it can be yeah because the feminists ruin the laws so they just they just make
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up these i don't i don't make i don't make the law but coercion is a very old word and it's probably
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based but but i think i go ahead but what you what you what you just defined is not coercion what you
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define is called trade if i give you this you give me this that's literally called trade not coercion
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i think let's get the dictionary out and look i'm googling i'm telling you what you said you said
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if i give you this you give me this there's many ways of naming something that is the same action no
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normally is this is a this is a trend this is just a trend i see with women it's like we change the
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definitions of things and we like change words they don't mean anything can i can i say what it means
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i googled it just yeah so and so the threat of force right exactly yeah yeah that's the one
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that's what i missed in your definition the threat of violence or force yeah well it's forcing someone
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to do something how are you not it's not you choose to but then if you don't meet this you didn't say
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if i give you this you have to give me this by force no but if they don't want to have a relationship
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with you because you will not give up your instagram then so yeah so it's a free word you don't have
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you don't choose well then that's it moving on right but but but his but his whole point is you're
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using a very strong word like like that's that's a crime it's just like when women it's just like
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i'm saying that in a relationship situation it has been used as being defined as a crime but for me
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i don't i don't receive coercion well like that you know i'm trying to trade off something for something
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else how much do you make off of instagram a month i don't think i make money off instagram
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a month so you don't make money off of it no no it's not monetized for me no oh so you wouldn't
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even give it up even even though you don't make money off of it because you said a business i just
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assumed you know but i put my gallery on there i'm a photographer so i put my work on there and
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it's my personal gallery so it's my way of putting my work out into the world doesn't matter whether
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what if what if he got you an art studio and said you can hang them up here um no i don't think so
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what's your price what's your price yeah i just like my own thing so i think the way you phrased
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it is very easy for them to to like wiggle out of the answer okay so let's let's make it more
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interesting you you said you use your instagram for work do you post personal pictures or stuff on
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your on on the instagram recently yes so you definitely don't use it only for work no my work was an
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exhibition so i put myself point is if it's a work thing that's different we're trying to say like
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a personal instagram we're not talking about something you use for work or you used to make
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money we're saying like the instagram that you used to post your selfies your when you turn your
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back the mirror shots the bikini stuff that's the instagram we're talking about you won't find me
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in the bikini on instagram no we're just saying it's a hypothetical it's a hypothetical do you have
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selfies on your instagram um yes or no i did one today okay so okay so you do have
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personal things on your it's like you're you're guys weeding out of this answer regardless the
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answer is no i would not delete something if someone asked me to just because there was a
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relationship being dangled okay what would you what would you give up for the right man
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if we go through like personal like instagram because i use mine for work and i don't post
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personal stuff i don't post my family friends and things like this and if it was just personal i will
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give it away because i think nowadays it's hard to get a relationship but it's even harder to protect and
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maintain it okay and if it gets to the point like nowadays the mindset i have i'll give like my
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password or something like this to give the person like the trust you know because nowadays i think
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people are not willing they want the relationship but they're not willing to do sacrifices right to
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maintain it so so would you would you delete it he says i'll pay you what you're getting paid now
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if i if he's the guy i intend to marry yeah and have kids with i would do that you'd get rid of it
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i would do that because nowadays like for me like family and protect family and my relationship is
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a priority and if he can cover like the cost and things like this okay you don't need to work or
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things like this i would do that in order to protect would you be willing to go down in lifestyle for
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the right guy um no don't because i'll find a way to put him up i think uh work as a woman is
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also like what do you mean you got kids so you got more expenses so it goes down
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no but you're saying like before or with the guy that's so so you go down in lifestyle for the right
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guy after marriage yes it can happen of course okay so you would yeah okay cool cool what about you
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would you delete your instagram for the right guy i i'm not even on social media like that i don't even
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have full time i don't even have full time instagram would you stop cheating for the right
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all right um but no but this is but this is exactly what i was saying okay it's just because me i said
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like i do say yes i did cheat it doesn't make me it doesn't make me the wrong person like all of these
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people that they don't say they don't because because i'm not judging i'm just asking the question
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would you stop cheating for the right you meet mr wonderful he's tall whatever you look for you're
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tight okay the reason i'm not in a relationship it's just because there is no one deserving deserving
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me not to cheat on doesn't make sense so every guy you meet deserves so if you dated any of these three
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guys here forgot five guys in this room i really believe that relationship is very simple you say
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what you want you like it like it just you talk you just need to talk you just need to be honest with
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each other okay if there is something you don't like you just move on if like i said like i said
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i'm asking you if you liked everything about the guy yes i wouldn't cheat okay thank you i wouldn't
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change would you delete your instagram i don't even have instagram but like full time i have
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your snapchat how do you get recruited on here don't they recruit people through instagram through a
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friend a friend would you delete your snapchat um my snapchat is new i just delete my snapchat all the
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time i even change when i'm like there is no way to find me just like yeah for him because i know you
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have snapchat so you would you delete yeah but it's new anyway yes i will do good and i will stop
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cheating if it's the right one what if a guy said this i don't think it'd be the same reaction
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not anything and it's gonna be like it's gonna be oh it's fine you know oh he just cheats it's okay
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but just because i have the post to say oh yeah she's a cheater she's so much right i'm saying i don't
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think like women would clap and laugh as much if it was a guy saying that i don't think it would be
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the same i think you you get more leeway because you're a chick okay what about you would you delete
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instagram i don't know it depends like in what stage you are if a guy if i start to date a guy
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and he's like oh i i want to continue to you want to get serious but i don't want you to be on
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instagram i'll be like yeah but when you met me you would see what i do of like and if what if when
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you met him he was sleeping with other chicks but you want him to stop sleeping with other chicks
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that i wouldn't be i wouldn't be going with him if i would be sleeping oh like how how do relationships
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start nowadays oh what do you mean say it again how do how do relationships start nowadays
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and in a relation is it typically you start with the relationship or a situationship first
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all right situationship right yeah so so so what does that mean he's probably sleeping with other
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chicks yeah but i think that's a very different thing if you sleep with other chicks or you have
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instagram that's two completely different things i would argue it's very similar because women and
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instagram is an open profile for any man to message you have women survived historically they got the
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attention of high value men or the the best guy they could get see i gotta i gotta stop you there wait
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wait have men reproduced historically by screwing a bunch of chicks women had to get the attention from
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the best guy they can't could men had to screw as many chicks and impregnate them and protect them okay
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that's why that's why i think it's similar because it's but you're you're fulfilling both of your
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mating strategies when it comes to like a your biological level okay yeah yeah so so that's why
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since instagram's the number one dating app and if if he wanted drake kanye any of them could message
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you i'm not saying they will but i'm saying they could right that's that's why i'm saying it's it's
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basically an invitation for any guy to message you at any point during your relationship good but like for
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example i think it depends as well my my instagram account is private like i don't accept people
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if i don't know you a lot of people i don't know i won't accept you on it that also has to do with
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my job whatsoever blah blah do you have your do you have your face on it oh absolutely okay so but
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the people that follow you yeah they could still message you right they could yeah okay and and there's
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probably men that you've liked in the past that follow you yeah oh okay so that's that's the whole point
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yeah yeah they could still message you absolutely correct correct that's what i'm saying yeah i i
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think it's similar that's that's why i think it's similar because i think that sex um sex is to men
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like attention is to women but that is of course your opinion yeah that's true that's true that's true
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my point though is that that's how we survived we could not survive unless we got the attention of
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the best guy we could that could protect us men could not pass on their genes without screwing a
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bunch of chicks so my you you said he did that like that you were doing that when you met him and i'm
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my point is that he was sleeping with other people when he met you yeah so then he should he not stop
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because that's how you found him careful yeah no i know i'm just i'm just thinking i'm just like
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like i'm saying pearl pearl you're using too much logic here
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no i'm just still thinking like i don't know i'm just still seeing it very different
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this is exactly what i said when you go and decide to have a relationship you just say okay you're
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willing to do this you're willing to do that you don't need to push that's why cheating comes that's
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right toxic my point is he's asking you this is the right guy this is mr wonderful and he says i
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just need the instagram to go i just want to know why if you have a valid reason if you have a proper
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valid reason why you want me to get out of it he doesn't have a reason that's valid to you i would
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need to have a reason he just said lady this is my program i like you i just need the instagram to go
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please don't argue with me and if you want to do it i will if you actually want it and pearl said
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he has the reason but it's not valid to you it's no she just said he doesn't have a reason he has
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a reason i said it's not valid to you i think we're putting too much power on instagram now yeah
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i don't know i don't know i i wouldn't i have to i would have to be in a situation like i think
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about a lot of things when you say like a would you would you i don't know if you can always say
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i would or i would not if you're not actually in that situation yourself i think that's a no
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thank you personally is the guy allowed to keep their instagram oh but if you want if he doesn't
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want you to have instagram i wouldn't i reckon he will he doesn't have instagram himself he's allowed
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to keep it no you know what you know what i'll tell you something i'd like to change my answer
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if you ask a guy will you will you delete the instagram for me and he does that automatically he
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lost your respect fact preach i will not but he has the reality here's the reality where he has
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another instagram that you don't know about no no you don't understand if he if he complied to
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everything a woman says like something is like is wrong he's not like the the leader he's not and
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you're not gonna like him as well you're just doing everything you're gonna get bored at a certain
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point definitely you might he might have bended to your rules for that curve but eventually it's