JustPearlyThings - December 25, 2022


Men with options will cheat


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

210.46448

Word Count

2,687

Sentence Count

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 you know so i just never felt like i really was prepared to be a wife ever genuinely and you're
00:00:08.400 not alone i think a lot of girls feel like that like i mean how many i don't think the stuff that
00:00:13.600 we talk about on these podcasts would be so shocking if women weren't lied to for 50 years
00:00:19.120 yeah and i think it's like even talking to andrew today like wasn't it helpful like when he was
00:00:23.600 talking about stuff i was even me and i listened to this stuff all the time i was like oh i never
00:00:28.400 thought of that like he was talking about how to get a guy to stop playing video games i was like i
00:00:32.960 wish i knew this i was like wow yeah that's actually a good one when i think about it
00:00:41.920 do you think that coming from a two-parent home and it's like a loving environment that's for everybody
00:00:50.400 that it sets you up more for success to be able to operate in relationships or be willing to
00:00:58.880 submit to whoever the man is because you've seen it growing up or does it just does it not have an
00:01:04.720 effect i i think that's a really great question i know a lot of people who grew up in dual parent
00:01:09.600 households and they saw their mother getting cheated on and staying and like i know like someone recently
00:01:19.120 they were married for like 25 years or so for 23 years and she left basically when the kids were old
00:01:25.120 enough to just like none of them were in high school anymore um and i i remember when i was
00:01:30.480 talking to her she felt like she was setting her kids up for success because we're all under the same
00:01:34.480 roof um they have a better chance of whatever right and it still was damaging because you are witnessing
00:01:45.360 your mother tolerate disrespect for uh how did how did the kids know how the kids know what that she was
00:01:54.960 being cheated on it was something that this particular situation it was i know one instance was like one
00:02:04.960 of their family friends oh yeah it was really close to home stuff and there was another another
00:02:11.120 scenario where it was it was one of the family friends they were cheating on or is that told them
00:02:16.240 um no it was they were cheating with one of their family friends so like someone like oh we go over
00:02:20.560 to her house all the time but my dad is sleeping with her oh so he they would see the parent cheat
00:02:26.240 it i'm not exactly i don't i don't think it was they physically saw it but it was something that
00:02:30.960 the mom would share um that they would hear arguments too like if they weren't even if they weren't
00:02:36.720 involved in the actual argument they would overhear um which obviously you know showing exposing your
00:02:43.040 kids to that stuff is one thing but the other instance was um the dad was going out to the club
00:02:49.280 with like the son and he had a girl with him so it's like that direct like i don't respect your mom
00:02:57.600 in this way i can do what i want to do and your mom's still going to stay so that's where i feel like
00:03:01.680 it really depends on what's going on in that household because seeing your mom be basically
00:03:07.280 disrespected for comfort it's like it sends the wrong message about love i agree like blatant
00:03:14.160 dislike i can't believe he brought his son to a club and she like that that's crazy yeah like the
00:03:18.640 girl with him but i just think sometimes you know we never talk about like the women's part to play in
00:03:23.760 this and like one one in four marriages are sexless one is four and so i just think if you're going to
00:03:29.920 starve a man and he's begging you to sleep with him and someone comes on a platter like that's why i
00:03:35.280 say we never talk about why the men cheat and a lot of people will take this out of context like i
00:03:39.680 believe in cheating but like there are times where the woman is not sleeping with the man and then he
00:03:44.560 cheats but he's not naturally inclined to and and that's a conversation we don't really have i'm not
00:03:50.480 saying it's okay but it's almost like what did you what did you expect but at the same time too like
00:03:56.960 again like let's just like i said make it with me and you like if you're my girlfriend and you
00:04:00.880 don't want to sleep with me the the my first go-to isn't to go try to sleep with someone else i'm not
00:04:06.240 getting it from you i would want to explore the emotional depths of whatever you're feeling what
00:04:10.880 am i not doing why do you not want to be close to me i want to be intimate with you but you're
00:04:14.880 thinking like a woman and that that's how a woman right right but like like men it's just come on you
00:04:20.320 know how guys are like i'm sure you you especially like like like being as beautiful as you are like
00:04:27.520 most guys if you put yourself on a platter in front of them would be down
00:04:32.160 yeah i mean yeah yeah that's not saying much but yeah yeah i mean but that's that's what i'm saying
00:04:37.120 like men men have if you're giving him sex he'll still cheat because there's options i i would say
00:04:42.640 most men that have women on them on a silver for them on a silver platter will cheat yeah like i would
00:04:49.040 say most but not all men most most men work a normal nine to five they go to work they come home
00:04:56.240 there's maybe one or couple girls in the office whatever they he might cheat there but most men
00:05:02.000 girls aren't really checking for so if you date an average guy unless you're starving him of sex
00:05:07.680 it's a lot of work for men to go out and get sex that's why i say what part did you have to play in
00:05:13.120 him cheating like okay if you you were with an elite athlete right they're just gonna cheat that's
00:05:20.160 just i see the normal i saw d3 basketball players i can't nai i saw nai i can't look at nba like i can't
00:05:31.040 but okay but like your average nine to five joe it's a bunch of work for him to go out and get a
00:05:36.480 girl so it's like what part did you have to play a lot of women are always nagging on their husbands
00:05:41.520 they got they gained a bunch of weight after they had a kid britney's showing us firsthand you don't
00:05:46.480 have to do that and and it's like then they stop sleeping with him and the men are like wait wait wait
00:05:52.400 i thought i got a 120 pound wife that was gonna sleep with me all the time now she got the ring where
00:05:59.200 i'm locked into a contract for life and you could take my kids with me and my money and put me on child
00:06:05.120 support all the stuff and now you're gonna gain a bunch of weight and not sleep with me like what
00:06:11.040 did you expect to happen you're not holding up you're yeah and so men like that's another reason
00:06:15.520 men don't want to get married because they're like oh i even had a guy tell me this he's like i don't
00:06:18.720 want to get married i don't want her to get fat but you know why that's why a lot of the time as well
00:06:23.920 i may just say one thing a lot of the time the reason why some of some men get a little bit messed up
00:06:31.120 comes down to insecurities and let me land and i'll explain to you why a lot of the time the
00:06:39.360 women that let themselves go in a relationship or in a marriage is also down to the fact that men now
00:06:46.160 that they own the woman they do not want the woman to be approached they don't want the woman to be
00:06:51.040 desired by other men it comes down to the whole territorial thing which then means that you are now
00:06:55.920 going to punish or going to complain are you going to put the woman in a position where she feels like
00:07:00.320 whatever she looks like is a problem so she'll let go of it and she won't even work for it
00:07:04.640 that's also another thing another side of things women don't just let go of themselves for no reason
00:07:09.480 they start to let go of themselves because there's no desirability in general many to understand as a
00:07:15.840 woman for you to be beautiful and to feel beautiful is not just about you telling me that i'm the most
00:07:20.060 beautiful girl in the world you know i just to me like that's just nonsense girls girls let themselves
00:07:25.620 go because they eat too much and they're lazy i know a couple girls i got married and gained like
00:07:30.100 50 pounds none of them are happy they gained the weight they all wish they were thinner but they're
00:07:34.740 too lazy to fix it it's like i don't know and now they have the ring it's like less incentive you know
00:07:40.660 when you get you guys know when you get breakup with someone you are in the gym you're trying to
00:07:45.700 look like you're me too me too i'm not saying i'm special me too or in the gym we're trying to like
00:07:51.940 get our bodies right all this stuff and then we get a man and we don't we don't keep it i mean the way i was
00:07:57.380 raised you cater to your man so you've got this is your king and i'm not i'm not saying you you
00:08:02.980 need to look good for him so i don't know about letting yourself go uh no i i've got him now i need
00:08:08.900 to keep him i i i agree with you but i'm not saying you in particular i'm saying this is what the men
00:08:14.100 are saying this is this are the issues they're saying yeah obviously i i think it's wrong like when you
00:08:20.020 get into a relationship i don't think like letting yourself go i think it's a problem as a woman like
00:08:25.140 why should you do that because it's gonna leave you so i i do agree do you think a man can leave a woman
00:08:30.980 if she lets herself go he's asked her multiple times to lose the weight and she won't do it
00:08:36.420 i wouldn't say assuming let's say there's no kids involved because kids kind of change things well let's
00:08:40.180 say there's no kids well to be honest yes because no but it's not unfair you'll be telling your guy how many
00:08:49.380 times do you say listen i told him a million times to not this do not do this i told him a
00:08:53.860 million times to get up off his ass i told him a million times to do this he didn't do it i left
00:08:58.500 him if you as a man you're speaking to you to your girl and you're trying to make sure that she improves
00:09:03.140 and she is better and she is not doing that the problem is not that she's not losing the weight the
00:09:07.460 problem is the mentality which is the fact that you are not willing to be better and get better so that
00:09:12.180 we can both be happy and have the spark for life see this is what this is this is what this is what i mean
00:09:17.300 when i say it's like there's little things that are open misandry against men and we don't always
00:09:22.580 realize it so like in this instant you kind of hesitated but if i came forward and i'm not saying
00:09:27.460 i don't think it's intentional but if i said yeah i left him because he wouldn't work he wouldn't get a
00:09:32.340 job you would be like yes girl like and you know yeah you and you know you would you shouldn't be with
00:09:38.980 a bum and it's like that's a female bum a 300 pound whale i'll say it i'll say it again be careful be
00:09:45.300 careful the reason i'm a bit more sensitive towards women is because i obviously you guys
00:09:50.020 are saying your reality is different but my reality it's always been you've got to be better for your
00:09:55.300 man so my world has always been about the men and and i'm like so what is it doing for me so yeah i've
00:10:02.020 got to learn to cook clean do all this stuff take care of my man but how is he helping me emotionally
00:10:07.460 how is he helping me feel good but men that's not their job to help you emotionally that's like where i think
00:10:12.820 that's no okay okay i want to okay yeah but they don't want to they don't they don't want to hear
00:10:18.340 so this is this is doing all this for what what am i like okay you can't i'm not saying they should
00:10:22.260 never like talk to you or what like ignore you all the time but i'm just saying like like typically
00:10:27.620 historically you wouldn't even see your husband that much that's not their job you've had to your
00:10:31.780 friends like your relationships with men and this is something i learned like one time okay i had an
00:10:36.660 ex-boyfriend and i was talking and i was like this person and he was just like i don't care
00:10:43.460 oh i don't care and at first i was like what do you mean you don't care like i was like that was
00:10:49.940 so rude but i like sat and thought about it and i'm like you know i'm like dumping my problems onto
00:10:54.980 him and that's not his job he's not my therapist like we don't want a guy that's dumping all his
00:10:59.540 problems onto us we're okay we're okay a companion right but i'm saying i'm saying so again again like
00:11:07.700 they remember this is things that we look for from men but men don't look for from us and so
00:11:13.780 and that's that's what i'm doing all this for you what are you doing for me that's exactly what i'm
00:11:17.700 saying i don't want i don't want to be cooking for my man i don't want to i'll tell you i'll tell you
00:11:22.340 so that's what they look so but i'm saying like that you're always going to get protection
00:11:26.500 and that's the one thing like like so okay okay okay okay okay but if the world but if the world
00:11:33.380 if someone if someone call my okay i'll tell you living living here living here i i wish i had a
00:11:39.540 boyfriend because it it scares me a lot of times like living like just you know like people know where
00:11:46.580 the studio is sometimes right and there are crazy people and i'm like it would be so nice if i had a
00:11:51.620 guy here just like not even just like if he was staying here and it would be like like if something
00:11:57.780 happened i know he would like there's some level of comfort you have with just having a man next to
00:12:03.300 you and knowing that if goes south you don't have to call the police that he's going to protect you
00:12:08.660 like you know they say women prefer fat guys with muscles over skinny men
00:12:13.140 yeah that makes sense because it's like lei everyone's i agree that's i would take that too
00:12:18.660 not sure as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis
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