JustPearlyThings - Pearl NUKED Them With This Fact

00:00:00.000 can you pull up the one that says let me find it i like these um there's a zero percent the

00:00:07.780 isabella riley moody one sorry go ahead just at one point can we go back to like the mental health

00:00:14.780 and well-being of parents in the marriage but not now but like whenever uh we can we can do it real

00:00:19.720 quick real quick what's your what's your i think that um happiness or well-being is really important

00:00:25.660 for a mom to have as well so i think if they're not happy that can be really damaging to the child

00:00:31.160 as well and i think that's a reason why splitting up can be better i think that women should figure 1.00

00:00:36.300 out how to be happy instead of leaving the marriage oh but that's a bit

00:00:40.640 facts yeah preach i think i think you're in control of if you're happy so i think if you say he's making

00:00:48.600 me unhappy i think that's a lot to put on a guy i think you should figure out how to make yourself

00:00:53.880 or even your child yeah your child has nothing to do with that yeah but making yourself happy

00:00:58.800 might be to end the relationship to what go back to the streets street no you don't have to like

00:01:06.080 go out clubbing and what else is she gonna do if she leaves you can the streets you can still date 0.86

00:01:11.560 like sometimes if you really don't get on with someone or you're really frustrated with someone

00:01:15.280 just seeing them every day is is difficult and also there's a lot of there's a lot of parents that

00:01:21.160 stay together for the kids that damaged their kids there is i i do agree with that and like for

00:01:26.780 me for instance if i was if i was in a marriage and i had a child and we decided to split me personally

00:01:32.900 i wouldn't bring another man around that child for a long time i wouldn't even be interested in in 0.89

00:01:38.920 dating like and it's easy for me to say because i don't have children blah blah blah but like i just

00:01:44.200 i just wouldn't i'd want to concentrate on that so so you know the woman the woman um

00:01:49.340 she says i want to be happy and then you know what she does so most of the time she gets custody 1.00

00:01:55.200 primary custody of the kids so then they're in a single mother home um they're five times the kids 0.74

00:02:00.180 that are brought up in single mother homes are five times more likely to commit suicide nine times more

00:02:04.620 likely to drop out of school ten times more likely to abuse chemical substances 14 times more likely to

00:02:10.120 commit grape 20 times more likely to end up in prison and 32 times more likely to run away from home so it's

00:02:15.720 like but we don't know we don't know when the mother and father like split up we don't know if

00:02:19.680 the father is present in that child's life of course of course if the the father is not present that's

00:02:24.980 very damaging as well but like you can split up and be amicable and see right and if the if the

00:02:31.140 number so i'm doing a documentary on the court system here in the uk so i actually know a decent

00:02:35.420 amount about like men getting custody so if they're lucky they get custody six days a month realize

00:02:39.880 your numbers at some point yeah so only the men only get primary custody 10 of the time um and

00:02:44.960 it's very it's not common to get 50 50 split so usually when the women leave they take the kids 0.98

00:02:50.420 and the men only get to see their kids on weekends which is like what six to eight days a month i've

00:02:54.820 been through it yeah i've been through it what do you think well um i agree but um i also disagree i

00:03:02.760 think fathers here need to understand that you have a big part when you have a you have a big uh place

00:03:09.000 in a children's life and in the system they like to portray that the fathers are not important but

00:03:14.500 you are you're just as much as important as you are as you are as the mother it depends what you

00:03:19.380 bring to the table and how you are and um you know your relationship with your your child and how you

00:03:24.780 can provide and xyz so you know i've been through the system with with uh my kids you know um with my

00:03:31.380 daughter actually with my past relationship um and we have shared custody uh on the basis that i'm

00:03:37.680 heavily involved and you know financially and and just spiritually physically i'm always involved

00:03:44.380 and i'm i'm catering to my daughter's needs and you know um but i feel like a lot of dads nowadays

00:03:52.060 they feel that they don't have a voice or their voice isn't heard because you know as you said a lot

00:03:59.080 of the time the women women empowerment win the children over i mean you know as primary carers but 1.00

00:04:05.780 you know you was just as much as a primary carer as the mother so it's 50 your dna you should have

00:04:12.040 right how many men actually care yeah a lot of men a lot of men don't want for custody you know it's

00:04:18.220 it's it's funny um there are a lot of times they'll use the stat like men don't fight for their kids or

00:04:22.560 some stat like that but um the system's really hard to get through so it's like the average guy makes

00:04:28.320 what 45 35 000 pounds a year and the thing is if he so usually like if a woman goes to a woman's

00:04:35.260 shelter basically what she can do is claim that she was abused and they get then get free counsel

00:04:39.980 and even and even the women's shelters they know that most of these are like false cases

00:04:44.540 oh yeah yeah most of these are so men can't so if the men have the children can they not go to

00:04:48.700 shelters um no the men's shelters where i don't know that's what i'm saying so so the women like

00:04:56.300 they go to the shelters and basically like so what the thing that'll happen at the shelters is they

00:05:01.040 all have these stories that they tell the women to say so if like he's from a certain culture they'll

00:05:05.400 say hey say this this and this this will play in court so like he if he was like from in like i

00:05:09.940 talked to one guy that was from india so like he was so controlling i did the religious stuff because

00:05:14.680 he made me and the thing is so now the crazy thing is um so in this period she can um implement a 1.00

00:05:21.400 restraining order so he can't even see the kids and so um when she does that like it'll take six 1.00

00:05:27.620 months to a year before he can even go to court to fight the false like most of the time it's not a

00:05:32.240 real abuse allegation so then she goes he goes to court and then it's crazy because she's coming in

00:05:38.000 with a lawyer that's free and he has to pay 20 to 30 000 to fight for his kids and he has a 10

00:05:44.120 percent chance of winning so he can either go in without a lawyer or pay 20 to 30 000 now on top

00:05:49.960 of that the past year he's been paying child support and on top of that he's also been kicked out of

00:05:54.040 his house usually because if they have a shared house she makes one call he's kicked out so now he's

00:05:58.680 homeless um one guy i just talked to he lost his job and his kids were a mile away and he couldn't see them

00:06:03.640 for a year and now on top of that he has to spend all this money to fight for his kids and maybe

00:06:10.120 get 50 50 if he's lucky he might see his kids six days a month so a lot of guys will just say

00:06:14.920 like i honestly think the single like the deadbeat dad is really a myth and it's a lot of like bitter

00:06:19.880 women that are just in my experience can i just say something but a lot of times people hear the 0.66

00:06:25.960 woman's side of the story because remember in the ear the woman's in the kid's ear saying oh your dad

00:06:31.080 doesn't want to see you and no like and the thing is i used to i used to literally see it the other way but

00:06:35.560 remember we always listen to the women's side and we always believe the women and that's why you have to like

00:06:39.720 ask it like was there a police report was there this because because like i talked to the men on

00:06:44.040 the other side of it and so like and then on top of that so let's say he fights like she and even if

00:06:51.000 she's proven to be lying he um he can't um like she gets in no trouble and the thing about abuse is they 0.67

00:06:57.560 have a point system now so the thing is she can say coercive coercive control is abuse and that's and 0.99

00:07:04.440 that's like literally if he says you can't spend five thousand dollars on my credit card that's like

00:07:08.600 financial control and so basically it's like if there's like a scale of ten he just has to get

00:07:14.120 to a six and she could say oh he was financially controlling he didn't let me spend this one time

00:07:17.800 he was coercively controlling he said i couldn't go to the club which are all like reasonable things

00:07:22.360 but like she can go to court and say he was abusive now the whole community thinks he's an abuser

00:07:26.840 and because everyone just believes the girl and the thing is in court it's not um about guilty until proven

00:07:32.760 it's not um about evidence it's about a balance of probabilities so basically like it's not based on

00:07:39.320 a hundred percent fact so she goes to court everyone thinks he's an abuser he's a lot he's paying all

00:07:44.680 this money he can't pay and and he gets a 10 shot at his kids even if he unless he wins um the court case

00:07:53.400 which he probably won't she can also um like let's say the judge says hey six days a month you can see 0.70

00:07:59.080 the kid he then gets his um child six days a month she can make another call and do it again for

00:08:04.680 another year now he's to spend another 30 grand i think it takes a lot for a woman to go through that 1.00

00:08:08.840 though like influence must play a big path in that you know what it is influence that's actually causing

00:08:15.320 you must think you're yeah there must be like quite a lot of beef to go to court because you could

00:08:20.520 actually sort that civilly did you go to court listen i went to court with my um my baby mother my first

00:08:26.440 yeah my first child and exactly what you said that's spot on do you think she was do you think

00:08:32.600 she was influenced oh 100 percent you have to follow the money and the thing is like the lawyers don't

00:08:41.640 help the women's group because the law so you could go to a lawyer to get help and they're not going to 1.00

00:08:46.040 help you because their number one client is the women's groups i mean look at this i was in court

00:08:50.840 and most of the judges prosecutors were women yeah so they already looked at me and judged me 1.00

00:08:56.200 you know so already i already lost the battle before i spoke and if a girl cries they just like

00:09:01.640 believe her 100 because then we have this culture like believe all yeah that's it why did she take 0.82

00:09:07.320 you to court was it to pay well basically um you know we split up so you know um again to get the um

00:09:16.600 money no no no so so basically it's a thing where like um i i strongly believe that um some women 1.00

00:09:24.280 don't get over their partners you know them splitting up for whatever reason how they split

00:09:30.200 up whatever reason some people can't get over it so influence so um you know they use their their

00:09:36.440 children as a weapon so in a way where they want to punish you for hurting them in a way where i want

00:09:43.400 you to feel how i feel but 10 times worse you know so that's the evil side of of a manipulation

00:09:50.280 and also control so it makes the man feel that oh i have no access to my child i can't do anything

00:09:56.520 you know yeah exactly so it's almost like i'm i'm either with you and i see my child or if i'm not

00:10:02.120 with you i can only see my child that you'll say so i do i do think that's disgusting because before

00:10:08.040 you said before you said that obviously i kind of realized that was a reason but i was thinking why

00:10:12.200 would i ever not let my the father of my children see my kids and that's the thing there are some women 1.00

00:10:17.880 that are very willing for the for the dad to see the children and they are just rubbish and they 0.74

00:10:22.840 won't fight for their kids they won't do anything and they're just wantless i think that's more but

00:10:26.920 but the thing is too i think it's the exception it's not the rule because i think the whole like the

00:10:31.320 last 50 years we've only heard the woman's side that's right because especially like even it happened 0.99

00:10:36.200 to kanye he loved his mom yeah it happened before like before our eyes where he always thought his

00:10:41.480 dad was a deadbeat when really his mom moved away from him that's the other thing like there's no

00:10:46.360 like if the woman just wants to take the kid there's one guy that his his um his baby his ex-wife 1.00

00:10:51.960 moved to japan wow japan like there has to be something legal like you can't move

JustPearlyThings - August 02, 2023

Pearl NUKED Them With This Fact

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