Pearl NUKED Them With This Fact
Episode Stats
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218.10225
Summary
In this episode, we talk about the dangers of single mother homes and why they are damaging to children. We also discuss the court system in the UK and what it means for single mother children and how it affects them.
Transcript
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can you pull up the one that says let me find it i like these um there's a zero percent the
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isabella riley moody one sorry go ahead just at one point can we go back to like the mental health
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and well-being of parents in the marriage but not now but like whenever uh we can we can do it real
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quick real quick what's your what's your i think that um happiness or well-being is really important
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for a mom to have as well so i think if they're not happy that can be really damaging to the child
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as well and i think that's a reason why splitting up can be better i think that women should figure
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out how to be happy instead of leaving the marriage oh but that's a bit
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facts yeah preach i think i think you're in control of if you're happy so i think if you say he's making
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me unhappy i think that's a lot to put on a guy i think you should figure out how to make yourself
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or even your child yeah your child has nothing to do with that yeah but making yourself happy
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might be to end the relationship to what go back to the streets street no you don't have to like
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go out clubbing and what else is she gonna do if she leaves you can the streets you can still date
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like sometimes if you really don't get on with someone or you're really frustrated with someone
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just seeing them every day is is difficult and also there's a lot of there's a lot of parents that
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stay together for the kids that damaged their kids there is i i do agree with that and like for
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me for instance if i was if i was in a marriage and i had a child and we decided to split me personally
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i wouldn't bring another man around that child for a long time i wouldn't even be interested in in
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dating like and it's easy for me to say because i don't have children blah blah blah but like i just
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i just wouldn't i'd want to concentrate on that so so you know the woman the woman um
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she says i want to be happy and then you know what she does so most of the time she gets custody
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primary custody of the kids so then they're in a single mother home um they're five times the kids
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that are brought up in single mother homes are five times more likely to commit suicide nine times more
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likely to drop out of school ten times more likely to abuse chemical substances 14 times more likely to
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commit grape 20 times more likely to end up in prison and 32 times more likely to run away from home so it's
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like but we don't know we don't know when the mother and father like split up we don't know if
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the father is present in that child's life of course of course if the the father is not present that's
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very damaging as well but like you can split up and be amicable and see right and if the if the
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number so i'm doing a documentary on the court system here in the uk so i actually know a decent
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amount about like men getting custody so if they're lucky they get custody six days a month realize
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your numbers at some point yeah so only the men only get primary custody 10 of the time um and
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it's very it's not common to get 50 50 split so usually when the women leave they take the kids
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and the men only get to see their kids on weekends which is like what six to eight days a month i've
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been through it yeah i've been through it what do you think well um i agree but um i also disagree i
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think fathers here need to understand that you have a big part when you have a you have a big uh place
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in a children's life and in the system they like to portray that the fathers are not important but
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you are you're just as much as important as you are as you are as the mother it depends what you
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bring to the table and how you are and um you know your relationship with your your child and how you
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can provide and xyz so you know i've been through the system with with uh my kids you know um with my
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daughter actually with my past relationship um and we have shared custody uh on the basis that i'm
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heavily involved and you know financially and and just spiritually physically i'm always involved
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and i'm i'm catering to my daughter's needs and you know um but i feel like a lot of dads nowadays
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they feel that they don't have a voice or their voice isn't heard because you know as you said a lot
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of the time the women women empowerment win the children over i mean you know as primary carers but
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you know you was just as much as a primary carer as the mother so it's 50 your dna you should have
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right how many men actually care yeah a lot of men a lot of men don't want for custody you know it's
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it's it's funny um there are a lot of times they'll use the stat like men don't fight for their kids or
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some stat like that but um the system's really hard to get through so it's like the average guy makes
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what 45 35 000 pounds a year and the thing is if he so usually like if a woman goes to a woman's
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shelter basically what she can do is claim that she was abused and they get then get free counsel
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and even and even the women's shelters they know that most of these are like false cases
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oh yeah yeah most of these are so men can't so if the men have the children can they not go to
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shelters um no the men's shelters where i don't know that's what i'm saying so so the women like
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they go to the shelters and basically like so what the thing that'll happen at the shelters is they
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all have these stories that they tell the women to say so if like he's from a certain culture they'll
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say hey say this this and this this will play in court so like he if he was like from in like i
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talked to one guy that was from india so like he was so controlling i did the religious stuff because
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he made me and the thing is so now the crazy thing is um so in this period she can um implement a
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restraining order so he can't even see the kids and so um when she does that like it'll take six
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months to a year before he can even go to court to fight the false like most of the time it's not a
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real abuse allegation so then she goes he goes to court and then it's crazy because she's coming in
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with a lawyer that's free and he has to pay 20 to 30 000 to fight for his kids and he has a 10
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percent chance of winning so he can either go in without a lawyer or pay 20 to 30 000 now on top
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of that the past year he's been paying child support and on top of that he's also been kicked out of
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his house usually because if they have a shared house she makes one call he's kicked out so now he's
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homeless um one guy i just talked to he lost his job and his kids were a mile away and he couldn't see them
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for a year and now on top of that he has to spend all this money to fight for his kids and maybe
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get 50 50 if he's lucky he might see his kids six days a month so a lot of guys will just say
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like i honestly think the single like the deadbeat dad is really a myth and it's a lot of like bitter
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women that are just in my experience can i just say something but a lot of times people hear the
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woman's side of the story because remember in the ear the woman's in the kid's ear saying oh your dad
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doesn't want to see you and no like and the thing is i used to i used to literally see it the other way but
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remember we always listen to the women's side and we always believe the women and that's why you have to like
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ask it like was there a police report was there this because because like i talked to the men on
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the other side of it and so like and then on top of that so let's say he fights like she and even if
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she's proven to be lying he um he can't um like she gets in no trouble and the thing about abuse is they
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have a point system now so the thing is she can say coercive coercive control is abuse and that's and
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that's like literally if he says you can't spend five thousand dollars on my credit card that's like
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financial control and so basically it's like if there's like a scale of ten he just has to get
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to a six and she could say oh he was financially controlling he didn't let me spend this one time
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he was coercively controlling he said i couldn't go to the club which are all like reasonable things
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but like she can go to court and say he was abusive now the whole community thinks he's an abuser
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and because everyone just believes the girl and the thing is in court it's not um about guilty until proven
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it's not um about evidence it's about a balance of probabilities so basically like it's not based on
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a hundred percent fact so she goes to court everyone thinks he's an abuser he's a lot he's paying all
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this money he can't pay and and he gets a 10 shot at his kids even if he unless he wins um the court case
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which he probably won't she can also um like let's say the judge says hey six days a month you can see
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the kid he then gets his um child six days a month she can make another call and do it again for
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another year now he's to spend another 30 grand i think it takes a lot for a woman to go through that
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though like influence must play a big path in that you know what it is influence that's actually causing
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you must think you're yeah there must be like quite a lot of beef to go to court because you could
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actually sort that civilly did you go to court listen i went to court with my um my baby mother my first
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yeah my first child and exactly what you said that's spot on do you think she was do you think
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she was influenced oh 100 percent you have to follow the money and the thing is like the lawyers don't
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help the women's group because the law so you could go to a lawyer to get help and they're not going to
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help you because their number one client is the women's groups i mean look at this i was in court
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and most of the judges prosecutors were women yeah so they already looked at me and judged me
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you know so already i already lost the battle before i spoke and if a girl cries they just like
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believe her 100 because then we have this culture like believe all yeah that's it why did she take
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you to court was it to pay well basically um you know we split up so you know um again to get the um
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money no no no so so basically it's a thing where like um i i strongly believe that um some women
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don't get over their partners you know them splitting up for whatever reason how they split
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up whatever reason some people can't get over it so influence so um you know they use their their
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children as a weapon so in a way where they want to punish you for hurting them in a way where i want
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you to feel how i feel but 10 times worse you know so that's the evil side of of a manipulation
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and also control so it makes the man feel that oh i have no access to my child i can't do anything
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you know yeah exactly so it's almost like i'm i'm either with you and i see my child or if i'm not
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with you i can only see my child that you'll say so i do i do think that's disgusting because before
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you said before you said that obviously i kind of realized that was a reason but i was thinking why
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would i ever not let my the father of my children see my kids and that's the thing there are some women
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that are very willing for the for the dad to see the children and they are just rubbish and they
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won't fight for their kids they won't do anything and they're just wantless i think that's more but
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but the thing is too i think it's the exception it's not the rule because i think the whole like the
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last 50 years we've only heard the woman's side that's right because especially like even it happened
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to kanye he loved his mom yeah it happened before like before our eyes where he always thought his
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dad was a deadbeat when really his mom moved away from him that's the other thing like there's no
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like if the woman just wants to take the kid there's one guy that his his um his baby his ex-wife
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moved to japan wow japan like there has to be something legal like you can't move