JustPearlyThings - June 22, 2023


Pearl Was HORRIFIED By This Fact

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Pearl Calls Out Delusional Instagram Model On Her BS OBESITY is PROMOTED in Society

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

142.59

Word count

1,477

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak to a father whose son's best friend was murdered by his ex-wife, and who is now serving a life sentence for the murder of his son. We discuss the impact of group hysteria and how it can spiral out of control, and how to deal with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 she like was convinced like i wonder do you think these she was convinced these were true
00:00:06.080 yeah i think she she tricked herself into thinking they were true after a while she
00:00:11.040 started believing her own lies there's no doubt i think she does this day that she had constructed
00:00:17.280 this fantasy world where i was some sort of you know she she she was meeting um these kind of
00:00:25.040 women's aid charities these group meetings in the local town that was known um other mothers in the
00:00:34.000 area were actually part of this group um if you how do you because i was thinking could i go to a
00:00:43.120 woman's aid place like would they can anyone just go to one any woman can yes yes i'm just curious
00:00:48.960 what they would you know if like i said oh someone abused me they're not going to question you they're
00:00:54.800 not going to they're not going to assume you're lying they're going to assume you're telling the
00:00:59.520 truth they're then typically going to give you advice uh they're going to tell you what to say
00:01:06.560 and how to present and it's going to be a game of top trumps right between you know you you all sat
00:01:14.400 there and you'll say i you know my ex did that no my ex did something worse no my ex did something
00:01:20.560 was and it just becomes this kind of echo chamber yeah that everything gets gets more and more
00:01:25.840 extreme more and more hysterical okay so
00:01:32.800 okay so you found out that your son's best friend was murdered yeah i thought it was actually my son
00:01:38.240 murdered at the time so i i phoned my ex-wife i sent text messages she refused to answer even then even at
00:01:47.520 that point she just didn't want to engage at all and uh it was well into the next you know i phoned the
00:01:58.320 police and asked is this my son fortunately well you know it sounds dreadful to say that now but
00:02:07.200 the relief was it wasn't him i only i only really heard anything from my ex-wife well into the next day
00:02:18.400 well why why can't you just let it go something something truly terrible has happened it transpired
00:02:26.560 that my ex-wife was very close friends with leslie speed and that her and my son and leslie archie
00:02:37.600 would frequently go out playing and they'd been out the day before
00:02:41.120 so i believe my ex-wife was the last person to see archie alive and
00:02:49.840 clearly within this group and i like you know i later found out from from matthew spriggs
00:02:56.560 that's you know i don't speak for matthew spriggs by the way the father of archie but you know he'd
00:03:04.880 experienced much the same as i had that there were groups of women throwing hurling abuse at him
00:03:11.440 unnecessary abuse really vile you know mobile phones out taking photographs you know films of him
00:03:19.760 picking the sun up dropping the sun back shouting and swearing at him with the children and my son
00:03:27.760 included so this is my ex amongst this group of women throwing hurling abuse at him 1.00
00:03:32.320 you know this this is this is days before leslie speed did what she did so she smothered and strangled him
00:03:43.280 and it transpires it seems that this was there were two reasons really that that it was a way to
00:03:55.840 prevent archie ever being looked after by matthew and it was also an act of revenge against matthew and
00:04:06.080 the similarities of the kind of allegation she was making against him mirrored almost exactly the
00:04:13.760 allegations my ex was making against me these are two women maybe a third with emily s you know saying 1.00
00:04:22.880 and doing the same things and following a very similar a similar pattern a similar very similar pattern
00:04:30.480 and i you know before this the point is before his murder before this murder i picked up on this
00:04:39.760 and i'd warned um kafkas at the local authority social services were not involved at this point i
00:04:46.560 should add but i had stated very clearly that i was very concerned by this group of women that their 1.00
00:04:54.880 behavior was becoming kind of a group hysteria and that something needs to be done so some of them
00:05:02.160 needed to look into this behavior because it's getting spiraling out of control and my fear was
00:05:07.760 something was going something would snap something was going to happen i had no idea it was going to be
00:05:12.800 that serious or anything like that and i'm certainly not accusing my ex-wife of any culpability in this
00:05:20.640 you know she's not responsible we know who's responsible but this kind of group think amongst
00:05:30.800 this group of women it's a dangerous thing it can have real consequences 1.00
00:05:39.600 and it can have the most terrible consequences and perhaps rather than encouraging women like leslie
00:05:46.080 speed who was had known kind of homicidal tendencies probably not known to my ex-wife admittedly but
00:05:55.040 surely it is better to try to diffuse these situations it's better to say look leslie let's just calm
00:06:02.080 down let's try and do the best we can for our children let's let's not throw these wild allegations
00:06:09.200 around but by hyping everything up by making everything more and more extreme then some people
00:06:16.320 will snap and she certainly did why why did she strangle her son she did it because she didn't want the 1.00
00:06:23.760 dad like what so she strangled her did she say that or how did there is evidence
00:06:30.800 evidence in the murder trial that seems to suggest that she'd written a letter um that explained that
00:06:41.200 you know that it seemed to be an act of revenge against him wow and that um
00:06:49.920 at least you know i'm sorry i forget the exact wording and i would kind of need to get that right
00:06:57.200 so i don't want to go into too many details on that but it was an act of revenge
00:07:04.080 against the father okay and she was making all of the same allegations against him as my ex was making 0.67
00:07:12.880 against me they were a very tight-knit group of mothers the children were all very close friends
00:07:20.240 there were links that i had seen i become very concerned but of course
00:07:25.280 whenever i raised my concerns well mr jones you're not allowed to say who your ex-wife can and can't
00:07:32.400 be friends with that's coercive control you're controlling your ex-wife i said 0.98
00:07:40.000 look my ex-wife can make whatever friends she likes but when when they become involved with my son
00:07:45.520 and these are women are kind of babysitting my son influencing my son then i have surely have a 1.00
00:07:54.720 right to become concerned and i can't help but think that my concerns were completely and utterly justified
00:08:00.800 by what happened that i was making these noises before this or anything happened and it seemed that
00:08:08.000 matthew spriggs was independent i didn't know the man really i'd only met him once but i later found out
00:08:13.520 he was making these noises as well that he was complaining against obviously his ex-partner leslie
00:08:20.960 speed but he was noticing the behavior of this group of women other my other people in the neighborhood 1.00
00:08:27.280 my one of my oldest friends i mean before it had become so serious that she would kind of laughingly
00:08:34.800 joke oh oh yeah i know the group of those group of women they're the husband haters that's what we call 1.00
00:08:40.240 that and you know it sounds tragic now at the time it was kind of seen as light-hearted and then that
00:08:48.400 happened and um so what we have is obviously the social services were involved with
00:08:57.360 with archie spriggs that they they weren't involved with our case at that time we were still in the
00:09:06.160 private law realm uh but is private law that's family court yes i mean the family court also gets
00:09:15.680 involved public law public law is basically when a local authority will act will want to take a child
00:09:23.200 into care that becomes public law and so typically everybody is funded then through legal aid i was
00:09:31.840 not funded through legal aid at all at the like at the private law stage my ex-wife was because she 0.54
00:09:40.960 had a box to tick right she there was a box saying are you subject to domestic abuse
00:09:47.360 legal aid so she so she never had to represent herself she never had to learn the ins and outs of 0.54
00:09:58.720 family law like like i did never had to stand up in court and pretend to be some sort of barrister
00:10:07.520 but so you know maybe 20 30 court appearances mostly rubbish mostly time wasting
00:10:15.200 so over this this period where she was funded she had barristers i had no no sir