JustPearlyThings - July 31, 2023


She Admitted to Being a CHEAT


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 1 minute

Words per Minute

195.74666

Word Count

12,070

Sentence Count

2

Misogynist Sentences

64

Hate Speech Sentences

32


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 coming up next okay have you ever cheated i did and thank you wait thank you for being honest
00:00:06.160 i'm not clapping for the cheating guys just the honesty i know they're gonna clip that
00:00:15.040 honesty gets you a long way and i personally believe that everybody cheats they just don't
00:00:20.320 admit and nowadays when you know that the guy doesn't want to hear that or he doesn't just
00:00:25.360 want to know he does they don't want to know yeah you just say no i didn't so like people don't admit
00:00:30.960 so how who who did you cheat on how long were you with them all of my relationships oh all of us
00:00:38.880 okay how do you typically cheat uh when i'm emotionally gone when i'm uh okay for example
00:00:45.200 my last one my last relationship um i was honest and i said look if you do this i'm gone i'm gonna
00:00:53.520 check he just did it and i did that both in a relationship but we actually want to step out
00:00:58.320 of it but we don't know how so we just actually kind of like had the conversation it was kind of
00:01:03.120 like like nice to talk to someone about it and then i went sorry did you date him no we didn't date we
00:01:08.880 were just like talking like often after the gym we're just talking and then in one night we ended
00:01:14.560 up having a kiss but then straight away i can't remember if it was that same night or the next day
00:01:18.720 i ended did you guys did you guys ever hook up or no after that after i'm a gym guy after i broke
00:01:23.920 up after i ended the relationship yeah but you guys did he didn't become your boyfriend or anything
00:01:27.840 no no no then i asked why you got bored like with the other person and you start looking to someone
00:01:32.400 else i wasn't bored i was just like the the love was gone the attraction was gone the sexual attraction
00:01:38.240 was gone and if i'm not sexually attracted to you like do you think i appreciate the honesty
00:01:44.480 but i just just question do you think it's fair to say that women look for a replacement guy
00:01:48.960 before the relationship's over what type of women have offered to pay you for sex oh me older ones
00:01:54.720 older yeah like how old typically like when i was like i was on a family trip i think yeah yeah yeah
00:02:01.280 back in the day back in the day i was like 16 probably um yeah so that's when it started happening
00:02:08.640 like there's this woman she's with her family and she started like messaging my but we're not
00:02:13.760 messaging ringing the hotel phone line when my family were out and she had family and stuff and
00:02:19.040 it happened no i didn't realize what was happening and after it was about maybe four or five years
00:02:24.320 after that i kept in contact with her like she kept calling and texting and stuff so did you do it
00:02:29.440 no i didn't do it i never did i just i like the kick from it though i've got a kick from it
00:02:33.280 do you know what i mean and as i got older 18 19 i i i don't know i've done some some funny stuff
00:02:39.600 you know i've done some funny stuff yeah and i'm proud to talk about it because like there's always
00:02:45.920 it was like unsociable women that wanted a bit of companionship and i i was like i consider myself a
00:02:51.920 bit intelligent do you know what i mean so like just being able to speak to someone that was older
00:02:55.840 than me for a bit of companionship and yeah it was always older women were they were they typically
00:03:01.280 married or single they were single they just worked hard they just didn't know how to socialize
00:03:05.360 uh so they're like rich rich single women rich single women right and did you ever i was modeling
00:03:11.280 doing all the big campaigns i'll go to the novikovs and the yeah did you ever did you ever do it maybe
00:03:28.320 i'm curious being the most swiped man on tinder like how many matches do you get a day
00:03:33.200 uh well um well back in the day yeah i was probably getting i don't know it was it's not
00:03:39.440 matches it's swipes so i've got 14 000 swipes wow um a day yeah wow but i think i i i think there's a
00:03:47.120 bit of statistics to it right i believe because i've done a bit of tv growing up i had that face i was
00:03:52.720 quite recognizable and for modeling i was like going through all the towns so i was quite you know small
00:03:58.400 towns and that stuff every day you were hitting the market yeah yeah so i was that little loop
00:04:03.680 i was that gap in the market and i was getting swiped but not matches it was just so i'm curious
00:04:09.120 if you met up with a girl yeah and like hooked up with her whatever what percent of the time
00:04:13.280 would she want to date you and what percent of the time oh i dated three of the girls from tinder
00:04:21.600 not matches it was it was i'm asking like what percent like if you hooked up with a girl
00:04:26.560 what percent of the time like would girls ever be okay with it just being a casual thing or would
00:04:31.280 they ever i would always cut the line so i i just enjoyed going out in a bar like every country i
00:04:37.840 went to if i was working in say spain i'd go like on tinder plus yeah move my passport there before i
00:04:43.600 got there and make a friend a week before i was there so like i just done that all the time it was
00:04:48.160 nice for me to like make friends all over the world yeah and i didn't see it as oh i want to sleep
00:04:52.240 with that person i just thought how many friends can i make okay i just had that mindset but i'm
00:04:57.120 asking if you ended up hooking up with a girl what percent of the time would she want to date you
00:05:01.280 would it be always oh well it happened three times oh you oh only three yeah yeah okay yeah
00:05:06.480 you wanted more times and i did but they didn't it actually only happened three times oh and like
00:05:12.560 they're all over the press and stuff so oh so most of the time they didn't want anything serious
00:05:16.560 like yeah they probably had a boyfriend you know i mean 66 of people on tinder are in a relationship
00:05:21.760 so when you do statistics it makes sense okay yeah so i've got yeah so it wasn't even like people
00:05:28.480 directly cheating on me every time it was like them cheating on someone else can you imagine oh my
00:05:34.080 gosh okay have you ever cheated i did and um thank you wait thank you for being honest
00:05:48.240 i'm not clapping for the cheating guys just the honest honesty i know they're gonna clip that
00:05:53.920 honesty gets you a long way and i personally believe that everybody cheats they just don't admit and
00:06:00.000 nowadays when you know that the guy doesn't want to hear that or he doesn't just want to know he
00:06:05.040 does they don't want to know yeah you just say no i didn't so like people don't admit so how who
00:06:10.960 who did you cheat on how long were you with them all of my relationships oh all of them yeah
00:06:17.760 okay how do you typically cheat uh when i'm emotionally gone when i'm uh okay for example my last one
00:06:25.040 my last relationship um i was honest and i said look if you do this i'm gone i'm gonna cheat
00:06:33.440 he just did it and i did it and i never i never lied i never lied what did he do um okay basically i was
00:06:42.080 not happy with the thing that he's going um away with his friends holidays with his friends all the
00:06:47.920 time because we all know what is gonna happen there and okay if you don't enough with that life then okay i
00:06:54.480 just go my way oh so so you cheated because he went on a boy's trip yeah multiple times when i
00:07:01.760 asked about cheating i was asking like what way did you meet the guy you cheat with cheat with was it
00:07:06.160 an ex was it someone you knew before or was it someone you met that was new the one i cheated with
00:07:12.240 yeah uh it was just after my ex no no i'm saying how did you meet the guy how did you meet the guy um
00:07:20.800 probably out okay so you would go out on the yeah go out it's easy nowadays for women to cheat come on
00:07:34.640 what i'm curious about more is is there ever was it ever like one guy you would cheat with like
00:07:39.440 every relationship you'd maybe go back to a guy to cheat with no because obviously i'm not from here so
00:07:45.680 back back home there was someone else it's like big gap between the years and um yeah i just believe
00:07:52.800 everybody cheats and mostly women and i truly believe that we just we just better we just better
00:08:00.400 with like like it's easy it's it's easy to find find out when a guy cheats they don't know how to hide
00:08:07.360 they don't really know how to hide but girls girls they're just gonna like play with your emotions
00:08:13.840 they're just gonna come back like nothing happens how would you how would you hide it me personally i
00:08:19.040 never hide it
00:08:29.520 how do you think that girls typically hide it
00:08:33.360 like i said emotionally like they're just gonna come back nothing happened we good you know you're
00:08:38.720 not gonna find anything on her phone so if you if you had a brother if you had a brother i have a
00:08:43.520 brother yeah okay and he thought his girl was cheating on him how would you say like how could
00:08:48.400 he know if she was cheating uh i don't know i don't know it's just i it's very it's very difficult
00:08:57.360 to find out when a woman cheats that's why all of them they say i don't i never did because it's very
00:09:03.360 difficult to find when a woman cheats how many girls in here were capping when they said they didn't
00:09:07.360 cheat most of them no that's not true they never they never they never gonna say they never gonna
00:09:14.480 admit think about that no seriously but they will sew it they will sew it so for example if a woman
00:09:22.240 cheat on the man there are some signs that you can understand okay all i'm trying all i'm trying to
00:09:27.360 say like woman knows that guys they don't even want to know if you cheated or no they don't care i
00:09:33.520 want to know no guys they don't want to know detective stephanie don't don't tell me yeah so
00:09:39.600 if you know already like if you know he doesn't want to know or just play cool and you'll be good
00:09:44.640 what type of man wouldn't like to know that tell me one type of man because i know many they just
00:09:49.600 don't want to know i don't know what can you name and shame them
00:09:55.600 so you said you said there are ways to know how do you know if your girl's cheating she's changing a
00:09:59.280 little bit the behavior she start maybe putting the weight on you who are you talking to yeah same
00:10:05.280 face i'm like trying to put it on you guys are just as bad if not worse yeah excuse me even worse
00:10:14.000 yeah guys maybe they don't even care you know or they are not good enough to to to hide it also
00:10:19.600 woman become more secretive start spending more time out maybe going out with your friends the phone
00:10:24.640 doesn't work never happened to me personally that that much but i can i can see it in other people
00:10:30.240 like how it's happening oh and you know when you are on the third person you can easily understand
00:10:35.520 and you say mate come on can you like understand that something you're the third person no i mean
00:10:42.560 from the outside you say you say come on you you don't see that and usually men do not see that
00:10:47.760 because they are blind by like love or something i don't know what so you're the third person
00:10:51.760 and you say as a friend okay have you cheated yeah i did but in my defense in my defense
00:11:00.480 straight after i kissed the guy i broke up i ended my relationship straight away so you and i think i
00:11:05.440 kind of like i already knew that i had to break and my relationship for months i just didn't know how
00:11:10.400 i just moved to the country didn't have how many years were you with him uh nearly five five years but
00:11:15.520 already for at least a half a year i knew it was about six months i hear this a lot and it was it was
00:11:20.640 like literally like the relationship wasn't good there was no love anymore there wasn't attraction
00:11:25.280 anymore what wasn't good about it it it was just the the love was gone okay i mean it was still love
00:11:32.160 as in like would you say it was boring uh yeah and i think i think there were more like differences in
00:11:37.840 he was he was ready to proper settle down right and you i wasn't i didn't lose i still had my wild
00:11:43.120 hairs i i didn't have my time by myself but i think for me it was like for months i i knew i had to
00:11:48.560 break up i just didn't know how i just moved to a new country i didn't have family here i didn't
00:11:52.480 have friends and he moved with you yeah okay so he moved did he move because of you or no no no
00:11:57.600 together together together okay so and then i think i met someone in in the gym who was in a similar
00:12:03.680 situation like been for years no i don't know um and we just like we were training together and then
00:12:12.800 we started to talk and like we're in the same situation like hey we're both in a relationship but
00:12:16.320 we actually want to step out of it but we don't know how so we just actually kind of like had
00:12:20.960 the conversation it was kind of like like nice to talk to someone about it yeah and then i go
00:12:25.360 sorry did you date him no we didn't date we were just like talking like often after the gym we're
00:12:29.840 just talking and then in one night we ended up having a kiss but then straight away i can't remember
00:12:36.000 if it was that same night or the next day i ended did you guys ever hook up or no after that after i
00:12:41.360 the gym guy after i broke up after and the relationship yeah that's how about you guys
00:12:45.360 did he didn't become your boyfriend or anything no no no no can i ask why you got bored like with
00:12:49.600 the other person and you start looking to someone else i was a boy i was just like
00:12:54.560 the the love was gone the attraction was gone the sexual attraction was gone and if i'm not sexually
00:12:58.560 attracted to you what's your love language like do you think i appreciate the honesty but i just just
00:13:04.400 questioned do you think it's fair to say that women look for a replacement guy before the
00:13:08.560 relationship's over i don't think i was looking for i don't i don't i wasn't looking for i need
00:13:13.120 you to stop talking when she's talking go ahead i'm a teacher um i don't want i don't think i was
00:13:20.720 looking for a replacement not at all i think i was more looking for i needed a push to actually end
00:13:25.920 the relationship because i didn't feel like it was fair to him did you do you feel like you cheated
00:13:30.560 to like end the relationship almost almost for me just kind of get a kick under my ass like dude come
00:13:35.120 on you need to break up because it's not fair to him because i did i still care about him every so
00:13:38.960 often i still talk to him he's like happily like with in a relationship now the first girl after
00:13:43.760 me he's still with he has two kids and i'm really happy for him because she she was what what he
00:13:49.200 needed he wanted to be in a you know settle down i have a question how are you you're single right yeah
00:13:55.600 are how old are you again 34 34 okay if you were to never have children would you regret that decision
00:14:01.440 no no because i now i would i don't see i never see myself with him i just got out of a long
00:14:09.120 relationship because i got cheated on um okay so that's my next question so he cheated on you
00:14:15.120 yeah how did you find out well we were already broken up we just we literally wait wait well yeah
00:14:23.600 so basically we ended the relationship not because i wanted to but i had to it was very
00:14:26.720 toxic relationship that was literally what was toxic about it well it's not toxic about it
00:14:35.120 what was toxic about it there was always arguments there were always arguments there was always there
00:14:39.520 was a lot of um there was a lot of lying there was a lot of like not being honest with each other not
00:14:47.520 being like open communication you would both lie to each other no he would lie to you a lot okay what
00:14:52.960 would he lie about things like simple things like hey oh i'm going out okay good where are you going
00:14:57.040 i don't have to tell you that's not lying that's a lot i'm not lying but saying like oh oh um things
00:15:02.560 like um oh um i'm just what did he say what was things like oh i'm just going uh oh no i'm just going
00:15:08.320 to gym what are you going to do this and you end up being on a party you're like on a boat party
00:15:11.280 whatsoever oh no this shirt is for a friend i bought a shirt for a friend he was kind of a party boy
00:15:14.480 yeah okay yeah and so it's just interesting because it seems like it's like for the for the party boy
00:15:21.600 like you didn't break up with him or you did maybe because of cheating but it's like no no
00:15:25.600 no it's not that it was just that was just like i won't go into many details it was just like it was
00:15:30.320 i don't want to um no no it was just like it was a very unhealthy relationship there were too many
00:15:35.440 arguments there was always the same problems kept coming back come kept coming back kept coming back
00:15:40.000 how long were you with him four and a half years four and a half years yeah do you think it's fair to
00:15:43.520 say that nice guys finish last i don't know sometimes what do you mean that um that nice guy
00:15:53.280 like when women when men treat women too nice we don't appreciate them i would quite like to be
00:15:59.680 treated very nicely actually i think mature women everyone everyone uh thinks that men should respect
00:16:08.320 women right yeah yeah and you like that yeah both ways yeah it goes both it goes both ways very much
00:16:16.000 i just need to clarify that it goes both ways now i mean the relationship had to end but then
00:16:23.600 when the relationship ended it's not because i wanted to but it had to right but you wanted to
00:16:27.280 stay with him right but you just in my heart and like we broke up many times and every time i kept
00:16:31.200 coming back because i loved him so much okay but i'm just saying i'm just showing the difference in how
00:16:35.520 you treated the nice guy versus the party boy because the party boy you said you didn't want to
00:16:40.800 leave but you did because of the cheating right no no because i only found that out after we broke
00:16:46.000 up okay yeah it was a toxic relationship and you didn't want to leave where it seems like you were
00:16:51.520 bored of the first guy which kind of i think also because like i was a bit young a lot younger i
00:16:56.160 understand but my only point is a lot of times i hear the complaint from guys when they treat women
00:17:01.120 too nice they don't appreciate them and it just sounds like this is what happened no absolutely
00:17:05.920 not no i definitely know absolutely not i appreciate it like that first boyfriend a lot
00:17:10.240 like i had still now i if i look back on that relationship it was a nice relationship it was
00:17:14.160 good if there was just at one point but then the guys would say then where is he like if you
00:17:18.320 appreciated him then you wouldn't have dumped him no that's bullshit because if i'm not if i'm not like
00:17:22.880 in love with you anymore if the sexual attraction is not there anymore like if it's like
00:17:26.880 you know but a common complaint i hear is that if they are too nice to us that we don't appreciate
00:17:32.640 them and we get bored and leave and i and i think it's a little bit like when i first heard it i was
00:17:38.320 like what we don't do that but then i started listening and looking at patterns i mean the first
00:17:43.200 one wasn't always the nicest one either like but it was in general it was a good it was a good
00:17:46.720 relationship it was a good relationship but i look back on it as in that was a good relationship we
00:17:50.480 still every so often talk have a chat hey how are you doing you know like you should cut him off to be
00:17:55.920 honest you're not listening to what she's saying that's the point the point is it was a good
00:17:58.800 relationship by your judgment but you wanted to leave but then you also just came and said you
00:18:05.440 were in a toxic relationship and you didn't want yeah and i said you know how many times i ask myself
00:18:11.200 that question because i think the thing is yeah oh trust me you know how many times i ask myself that
00:18:16.080 question so i'm not i'm not judging you i'm just i don't feel judged i'm just noticing a pattern yeah
00:18:22.320 where we we reward bad behavior and then wonder where the nice guys are yeah right oh no i'll get
00:18:28.080 you i'll get you i'll get you question for jada pinkett if you're having so there's a question for
00:18:33.360 you if you're having a home invasion do you want two women police to show up or two male police to show
00:18:38.960 up two men police just because of the bias that i have that they're stronger okay you think it's a
00:18:45.360 bias or do you think it's reality it depends how tall they are right yeah no they are just stronger
00:18:52.240 they are just stronger you cannot say i'm stronger than 90 of women i can't do
00:18:57.760 shit if any of these guys break into my apartment thank you like i i deadlift 300 pounds you know
00:19:04.960 how much it is for a girl it's a lot right you got homer you got homer you're fine
00:19:12.560 someone i don't know who said it but someone just said something uh it depends on how tall they are
00:19:16.160 that's a delusion that women have and this is why women think the taller a guy is the more he can
00:19:20.240 protect you if you go to look in all the combat spots most of the most deadly fighters are all short
00:19:25.520 men that's true when people come up with this rhetoric that uh depends on how it is it's just
00:19:30.400 not true but you're you're a unit mate yeah i can't see you not do you know what i mean yeah but i'm
00:19:37.840 different okay um all right let's talk about let's go in depth into cheating is cheating different for men and
00:19:50.400 for women okay i think generally we're speaking generally yeah um then yes i think um men generally
00:20:00.320 could probably do it and not think anything of it it's just like wham thank you ma'am and out whereas
00:20:06.720 i think if a woman does it it's more emotional it you know you're more connected attracted it's
00:20:13.680 psychological emotional every all of that stuff so there's more going on so i think it definitely has a
00:20:18.880 different uh impact for men and women generally generally yeah i'm banning it to please no it
00:20:24.800 depends please please please just a general go ahead no i do agree with everything that she said
00:20:33.280 okay what about you i think every relationship has to uh before you kind of progress with someone you
00:20:40.320 have to discuss like what your boundaries are and what you consider as cheating if for someone maybe
00:20:45.840 flirting with with a stranger can be cheating as well and some people don't is it different for
00:20:51.120 men and for women i don't think so i think it really um you think it's something to discuss in
00:20:56.240 the relationship no so i'm asking is it is it exactly the same when they cheat yes yes okay and you
00:21:02.720 think that women can have sex just as casually as men in terms of cheating or in general yes you think
00:21:09.760 they do you think they cheat for the same reasons i feel like with women probably for emotional reasons
00:21:17.840 like what you said yeah so then wouldn't it be different and for for guys would be
00:21:24.160 still i feel like the common reason is that the relationship is not strong enough
00:21:29.760 so people are looking for ways to kind of feel like this emotional hole you think when men cheat it's to
00:21:37.680 fill an emotional hole it's still to do with like maybe a bit of ego boost or maybe they feel
00:21:43.360 emasculated in their relationship so in a way it's all to do with emotional reasons i don't think so
00:21:52.320 me neither i'm not sure i agree either yeah i think men will have sex with a hole in the wall yeah
00:22:01.440 haven't you ever it's like haven't you ever heard a woman say like i can't believe he cheated with her
00:22:07.200 like she's ugly yeah yeah yeah you think it was like for an emotional need i feel like it still
00:22:14.400 means that the the man is emotionally weak i think a truly like confident and strong man can resist any
00:22:21.920 like physical urge or anything what do you okay so i have a question so in nba players and hockey
00:22:29.120 professional hockey players i had a guy on the show he dated a girl that was um like one of the their
00:22:34.640 groupies now what is what is a groupie what do these women do they'll rent out a hotel room at
00:22:40.720 these games and try to get the guys to cheat on their wives they'll find out where they're at so
00:22:46.880 there's like men's only like events that they have where the wives aren't allowed to come these women
00:22:51.440 will find them learn everything about the guy and try to get them to cheat do you think that's an emotional
00:22:59.040 reason if they give in to that i think so if he's strong enough he won't and these are like nines
00:23:04.560 and tens these are women in the top 10 15 of beauty it's still weakness like cheating is cheating okay
00:23:11.600 do you do you think because i'm trying to think of how to phrase this if do you think that some
00:23:20.880 men are not loyal they just have never had the opportunity to cheat oh wow interesting yes you
00:23:28.720 know what i mean like it's like tiger woods probably got propositioned a thousand times that year maybe
00:23:33.120 he said yes 50 times but he still said no 1900 19 000 or 19 or 950 times where it's like the average guy
00:23:41.520 is never getting propositioned hmm i think it's easy to cheat nowadays with how connected everyone is
00:23:50.640 no it's not a third of a third of men are sexless it's easy for women too it's not easy for men do you
00:23:55.040 think exactly it's not easy you know what because they don't have time first of all because the average
00:24:00.560 man does not have time for everything you say and most women will not look at the average man
00:24:06.880 so it's not that easy for the man from the other side for the woman she has all the attention she
00:24:11.760 wants from social media she can go out everyone will hit on her so trust me it's not the same for
00:24:18.240 the man as for the woman yeah i've never thought about that yeah no because a lot of guys will be like
00:24:24.800 oh i can't cheating is the worst but it's like no women want them i i like to think there's a couple
00:24:31.280 of good guys out there though a couple i object i can vouch for that there are any good guys
00:24:37.200 no they're they're totally are but i'm totally very handsome but i'm saying even even the best
00:24:42.800 guy yeah i this is just how i think of it even the best guy if he had nines and tens trying to
00:24:47.920 fuck him every time he went to work would have a hard time resilience i'm saying i don't even think
00:24:56.960 it's like oh that guy doesn't love you or he's emotionally weak i think that's just tough for a
00:25:01.280 guy yeah and that's also true because i see a lot of guys sorry that they love their girlfriend or wife
00:25:08.960 right i have a friend that he told me this i love her but i would i really need to have sex with
00:25:15.920 someone else and and i was like why and they were not having sex you know so many times like also
00:25:23.040 how this is proof like how men express love or how he connect or bond it's sex and then women think
00:25:29.920 they're men just trying to use their body or things like this but he she demands that he listens to
00:25:35.600 her every time or every day right so they have different needs so women are we meeting the needs
00:25:41.600 for men you know so most of the time guys cheat it's because of sex because they're missing something
00:25:48.400 right yeah somebody's missing and then you go back like you mostly they were having like not you know
00:25:54.720 much sex or something like this and the girl demands too much so we have to look why you know and this
00:26:01.120 happens and you know what is interesting that some men that they love so much their woman like their
00:26:07.680 wife their girlfriend or whatever that they cannot do some things to them out of love seriously that's
00:26:14.000 happening oh yeah yeah and so they're looking to do that to someone else yeah that's also true that's
00:26:19.760 also true so i think like girls have to be more open talk more about it you know so that's actually i
00:26:26.160 have a question coming that's similar to that but i'll get to it um is cheating different for men and for
00:26:31.520 women i think men can come compartmentalize it and that's how it doesn't for them it doesn't reflect
00:26:40.720 necessarily on the relationship it can just be an opportunity thing they're presented with a beautiful
00:26:46.160 gift okay would you ever work through cheating no no you would leave yeah what if you had children
00:26:55.280 uh i would still finish it so i think it's a good role model thing too what if it was a one-time i
00:27:04.800 think i can't remember the exact number but it's like between 50 and 70 percent of cheating for men
00:27:09.600 is a one-time thing they never do it again knowing that number would you think about working it out
00:27:15.040 i think you still have to put the frighteners on them and the frighteners on them you have to go
00:27:20.080 through the motion of leaving because otherwise you know they got away with it oh so you'd leave to
00:27:24.960 like try to scare them well not i wouldn't be so purposeful perhaps but i think that you know
00:27:30.800 the initial shock of it would definitely lead to a separation at first okay but maybe you try to
00:27:35.280 work it out it sounds like potentially it depends what their admission is okay is cheating different
00:27:42.400 for men and for women who are you hello everyone i'm patrice welcome to the show i'm patrice i'm 31 i'm
00:27:52.320 from the u.s i live in uk for seven years now and one hobby crazy thing i spin fire spit fire wow very
00:28:00.640 cool very cool okay is cheating different men and for women it's different it's all about perspective
00:28:11.600 too bad for society that it's seen in so many different ways from so many different sides
00:28:18.240 that's so those so many different sides are only male and female
00:28:23.360 what's your question again have you is it different for men and for women
00:28:28.080 like if a man and a woman cheats is it different is it different is it different for experience is
00:28:32.800 different from feeling what you're referring to is it different what do you think is it different
00:28:37.280 is cheating i mean we're all we're all different i've met individuals that are emotionally stronger
00:28:41.760 than others i can been through a relationship that said yeah i've been cheated on but you know what
00:28:45.920 i'm gonna bite the bullet keep going through it and if have you ever cheated have you ever cheated
00:28:51.280 yeah i was young okay young and reckless how would you cheat parties parties okay did you ever do it
00:28:56.800 through social media or no no i wasted time did the girl it's more effective did the girls ever find out
00:29:05.360 in a party setting yeah everybody goes to a party this this is me referring to a party setting and yeah
00:29:10.880 everyone's there yeah it's impossible to not see or to not hear or to not like hear from somebody
00:29:15.760 yeah or even if the person didn't go to the party oh hey you know uh such and such right you know
00:29:22.160 it's inevitable for people to go or be in that setting in a certain
00:29:27.360 era right and i'm referring to back when i when it happened in my situation or when i i did it or when
00:29:33.680 it happened to me right it's inevitable people are gonna see people are gonna hear
00:29:38.000 it's just the environment you're in it hmm cheating different for men and for women i think
00:29:43.920 definitely different um girls get emotions like with um but for me like personally like
00:29:52.800 i don't i just be like yeah whatever like and i think like when girls do it like i just think what a
00:30:00.000 whole bag but i don't judge so when you were cheating with all the women did you care about them
00:30:07.280 no no barely knew their name where is it were you like emotionally like was it because you were
00:30:14.000 emotionally attached nothing like was it because you didn't love the girl no it was just this tuesday
00:30:20.880 like and that was it like yeah but this is bad and i'm like that's the way it was this is the honesty
00:30:29.600 circle that's the way it was and i mean not that i wouldn't do it again but i'd rather be single
00:30:35.520 i'd be i'd rather be single like i just got back from dubai with my friend went to india um but i
00:30:41.360 couldn't do that if i was in a relationship like just but i was going to ask you that my thing like
00:30:46.560 just do my thing if you just cheated that many times right just being single i'm that's why i'm
00:30:50.240 single yeah i am on the dating app so um is cheating different for men and for women um well for me it's very
00:30:59.360 simple yes it is different noah has the excuse to do it but the truth is that the aftermath is
00:31:05.600 different because when a man cheats most likely he just did it like just a random day like nothing
00:31:13.200 when when a woman does it like she's been building it before in her mind so mentally she cheated in her
00:31:20.560 mind before and then to do the actual like uh physical interaction with the other person it was like
00:31:27.280 long time like she was getting cold and cold and after she she she cannot like handle it have you
00:31:34.080 ever been a side dude yes i have and do you think when she was cheating with you she was cheating to
00:31:41.360 leave or she was just cheating for sex can i just be likely honest yeah yeah be honest just for sex okay
00:31:51.280 so you don't think she was emotionally attached to you i doubt it highly doubted actually
00:31:59.200 and she was telling me the exact thing actually um is different the sex that she has with this guy
00:32:05.760 and is different the sex that he has with me oh so she's saying the sex was better with you
00:32:10.160 no she didn't say it's better she's different different let's not get into details she likes the variety
00:32:15.680 yes okay and it's interesting that this was going on like for like months months wow did they sorry
00:32:23.760 did they ever find out did the boyfriend find out no i was a friend he was a friend of yours no i was the
00:32:32.480 friend of hers for the guy oh wow but he he wasn't like living with here like in the same city they
00:32:38.880 were in different like countries but they were like having a long uh relationship it was boyfriend
00:32:44.480 girlfriend or married no no no no no i don't go with married women any more you have you have many
00:32:53.680 more uh examples you've been a side dude to a married woman no oh no no from what i know at least okay
00:33:05.040 if she broke up with the guy and she wanted to be your girlfriend would you date her seriously no
00:33:09.360 the reason i'm saying no is because i have done that and it caused like a big problem that i didn't
00:33:14.480 want to be like the reason of this problem so that's why i decided to never do that again so i'm saying
00:33:20.560 like confident very confident from experience that no married woman no i wouldn't do a married woman again
00:33:30.320 what's the difference for you why would you not do a married woman but you would do like a girl who's
00:33:33.600 like in a long-term steady relationship oh i didn't say i was going to do it who's to know
00:33:39.200 i don't know you said i wouldn't do a married woman i wouldn't do a married woman i mean why not
00:33:44.400 why not uh okay so i wouldn't do a married woman because i i just see it differently you wasted all
00:33:51.680 your time to go through all this commitment if you want to go cheat i'm not the one to cheat on
00:33:58.000 i kind of feel for the husbands as well yeah for sure i'm not right do you think cheating is
00:34:02.560 different for men and for women yeah it is and i saw that as a child like my father was traveling
00:34:07.360 a lot because of work and this and that and he even got child's spread around and he was coming
00:34:14.000 back home was like nothing happened or anything like this and somehow i understand him you know
00:34:19.920 i'm not saying that that was right you know but i think it works differently he could go back home and
00:34:24.560 he was with another one and another one and it was working for him i think men can manage and get some
00:34:30.160 detachment from that and be something like just physical and things like this whereas for women
00:34:35.520 i think we get more attached like things like so i think it works different did your mom know about
00:34:40.880 it she found out yes she found out and she still worked on the relationship for a very very long time
00:34:47.360 because of the kids and also like values and things like this so she stayed yeah and are you grateful she
00:34:53.120 did um i think it was worth it because but it got to a point that my father had other things like
00:35:02.480 domestic violence and things like this and actually she broke up because one day she was taking me to
00:35:07.680 school and there was a lot of domestic violence right so it was a mix of things and i told her like
00:35:12.720 i was six years old to say like why don't you you know because it was the point that was very
00:35:16.880 like yeah it was putting her life in danger basically uh but i'm very proud and through that
00:35:23.920 she made me like a lot of examples and i know the consequences as well when cheating and things like
00:35:29.040 this that's why like i don't cheat because i still have these memories and i know how especially like
00:35:33.840 in a marriage or things i did how it affects women and the kids you know and also my father nowadays
00:35:40.160 he regrets because he's alone yeah and he regrets what what he did so i think in marriage and things
00:35:46.640 like these it's more sensitive like it's more delicate the situation of course what about you is
00:35:53.840 cheating different for men and for women um i don't really understand how you mean this but what i
00:36:08.320 understand is it's different if if a man can do it to a woman then woman can do it to man if you don't
00:36:15.600 if if you don't if you don't like um someone to do something to you don't do it i feel i feel the
00:36:21.920 same feeling and and me personally i'm just gonna show you how it feels and if you like it
00:36:28.880 my question is do men and women get equally emotionally attached during sex i don't know
00:36:34.560 because i'm not every woman i just talk about myself and i feel it's not just in your experience
00:36:39.600 is it equal or is it not equal it's equal okay you you think the same feeling okay so you can just
00:36:45.360 have sex with a guy and feel nothing yeah wow just just to show you how it feels would you but i believe
00:36:51.280 you always been like that where you could just have sex with no feelings or did that come over time
00:36:55.920 uh okay basically i truly believe that when it when it comes for you to cheat you just need to go but i've
00:37:03.840 been in situation when i told the guy i did it and they don't want to leave they said okay cool i did
00:37:10.800 it as well so we're good now wow wow okay it's insane what i'm hearing from you seriously
00:37:20.320 no i really don't understand first of all i don't understand how you can say like
00:37:25.040 i want you no i don't understand i want you to explain me how for a man and a woman is the same
00:37:29.120 it's the same like the the same feeling i don't know i don't know about other women i'm saying
00:37:33.920 about me i'm saying about me if so if my partner can go and do it i'm just gonna close my eyes and
00:37:39.920 go and do it you just need to feel the same feeling i'm not just gonna accept you okay cool you're a
00:37:44.880 man you did it and i'm gonna be okay fine what do you what do you get out of that you just finish it
00:37:50.320 off yeah but i'm saying like you just finish it off equally it's a bit immature i know i know that's why
00:37:57.120 i don't have no relationship i don't believe in relationship right now i don't believe none of
00:38:01.680 that stuff do you know that woman that's a study i've read i don't know if it's true or not do you
00:38:06.560 know that woman who goes with many men it's very difficult for them to find stability after
00:38:11.200 because they keep comparing with other men from the past oh did i say i got i went with too many men
00:38:17.760 this is what i said i said if i'm cheated i'm gonna cheat or even i think he's he's i think he's asking
00:38:24.160 because you you said that you can have sex without emotions i think every woman can i think
00:38:30.640 anybody can have sex and it's happened to anybody in any situation i'm sorry like if you go and mostly
00:38:37.680 girls when they drink we know what happens you just gonna you don't even know what you just want that
00:38:43.920 thing so that's without emotions you're drunk animal instinct animal instinct you want to get the urge
00:38:50.320 out and then you realize oh i came but now i came to my senses you get it and i don't i don't even i
00:38:56.800 don't even believe like um women cheat because all emotionally all of that stuff women cheat because
00:39:01.840 they upset women cheat because because they didn't get enough attention women just gonna cheat
00:39:08.080 over you don't you don't need to get connect connected with someone you don't need to
00:39:12.000 you just you're just gonna be upset you're gonna go you're gonna you're gonna feel like it's the
00:39:16.080 like what do you like when you do it do what if you if you cheat on the guy who cheated on you do
00:39:21.360 you like the the outcome do you get something out of it but you do you just feel okay i'm not that
00:39:27.360 hurt no more because i did it too and you move on you i don't believe you should go back so i don't
00:39:32.400 believe my my question is more were you always like this where you could have sex without emotions
00:39:38.800 or did that come over time like like the first time you had sex do you think you could have sex
00:39:44.800 without emotions or did that come later um i think it just it just builds with um with time like with
00:39:53.040 time and like are you expecting this is not this then you just get cold yeah yeah no that's that's
00:40:00.160 that's yeah yeah okay um cheating different for men and for women i think so i mean i do agree i do
00:40:07.200 think girls can have sex and just be like no don't have any emotions just be like i just want to have
00:40:12.000 sex yeah and like i got what i want bye don't see you again um but i think if it comes like proper
00:40:18.480 cheating i think indeed like i think what was said before there's a build-up for girls like there's a
00:40:25.840 build-up of that talking and like you know um at least i can speak for myself and i know some yeah
00:40:31.280 others but for guys exceptions yeah yeah yeah i think i think for guys i think age ever guys i
00:40:36.400 think quite often it could be like yeah just sex um i also think for guys quite often can be
00:40:42.160 insecurity i think a lot of guys cheat because of insecurity they need constant that constant
00:40:46.800 attention women and i think it also i think it also could have to do with the fact i think women
00:40:52.000 cheap out of insecurity i mean yeah also i just like to fuck yeah but i think i think
00:40:58.560 i think when like a lot of guys at least what i've also heard from like friends and others like
00:41:02.400 where guys they feel insecure especially for example if they're in a relationship with a pretty
00:41:07.360 strong woman a woman who like she got her shit together she got a job she got like she's successful
00:41:12.480 she doesn't need him the fact when guys i think everyone guys sometimes like i think it's usually
00:41:17.280 those women just degrade their the guy they're with why would you think that because in my
00:41:22.480 experience the women that say those things typically degrade the guy they're with because they feel
00:41:27.040 like they're better than him that's just a trend i've noticed they'll downsize him yeah i wanna can i
00:41:32.160 ask a question you agreed that men who are insecure would cheat can i ask why because i'm unfamiliar with
00:41:38.800 this concept in my mind uh not from my personal experience because i've never felt in any way
00:41:45.280 insecure not because my size my shape my color my form what language i speak i've never felt
00:41:49.760 insecure so it never let me to cheat if i decided to cheat is because it was once upon a time and i
00:41:56.720 had no understanding of what was concept of emotion feeling or even relationship so based on what like
00:42:04.080 you agree on this statement because i'm trying to understand now yeah i agree from what i've heard
00:42:09.360 people's experiences but then again not everyone has the same experience not everyone has the same
00:42:15.200 upbringing the same situations because in my understanding a man who has like lack of
00:42:23.520 confidence or he is insecure he is most likely to suffer with this same woman and she will cheat on him
00:42:30.640 internal he will suffer internally and he will keep taking abuse but he'll bite his tongue and he'll be
00:42:38.000 like you know what i'm gonna try my best i'm gonna do everything possible and then unfortunately in some
00:42:43.600 situations either it doesn't work out and she leaves or it seems like it's working out but in reality
00:42:50.480 the foundation is deteriorating and it's just a matter of time before the building collapse
00:43:04.080 okay so i have a question would you delete your instagram for the right guy me yeah delete my
00:43:10.880 instagram i mean if a guy wanted me to delete my instagram i'd be like whoa why why do you want
00:43:16.880 to do that i my instagram is pretty basic as i don't i don't date women with instagrams um instagram
00:43:22.320 is the number one used dating app is it i've heard that yeah i have heard that so i mean he says i just
00:43:28.960 i want to i want a wife no dating app if he wants a wife and he's ready to like and we we know that this
00:43:34.880 is legit then why not but at the same time he should trust and know me by that time that i'm not
00:43:40.880 that he just says i just i'd just rather not take the risk i just rather just like you know maybe i
00:43:46.480 don't want to date a guy that goes to clubs yeah and you know right so that's a fair ask yeah would
00:43:52.880 you just give it up because he's the right guy i mean if he's definitely the right guy yeah i don't
00:43:57.360 care it's just a social media app who cares okay what about you yeah okay what about you no no why not
00:44:02.880 also who hello who are you i'm andrea i'm i'm a dentist okay and i was cheated i'm in the middle
00:44:14.480 of a divorce because i was cheated by my husband okay uh and i don't agree with what he was saying
00:44:21.760 that women when they want to cheat they will plan this in advance no i think even women or men if they
00:44:30.000 want to cheat they will do it no matter i didn't say that i say it's building up building up planning
00:44:35.920 in advance is the same i don't think i don't think the reason is important i think we all cheat the same
00:44:42.640 and i would not delete something for someone at the beginning because this is something like
00:44:48.320 ownership you want you want me to do what you want but i don't have any guarantee that you're gonna be
00:44:56.240 the one where you deserve that do you think relationships require sacrifice yes okay so why
00:45:02.880 wouldn't you risk sacrifice instagram because i don't think our relationship is based on that
00:45:10.160 okay what if you what if you just says this is a boundary for me i know women we love our boundaries
00:45:15.440 and so manipulating you think it's manipulative yeah to ask you to delete instagram at the beginning
00:45:21.440 of the relationship yeah okay why because i don't think we trust each other so much at the beginning
00:45:27.680 is it manipulative if i say i don't date guys that go to clubs in a way yeah because you don't type you
00:45:34.960 don't date that type of man okay what about you would you delete your instagram no i would not delete my
00:45:41.280 instagram okay not even for the right guy no he's rich rich handsome got a six pack abs he says only the
00:45:50.000 only one thing i need i just need the instagram off the phone no i'll i'll move you into my mansion
00:45:58.160 really no because i you know i'm self-made i run my business through my instagram and that would be
00:46:04.400 giving away something that's dear to me and important and where i spend a lot of my time as
00:46:10.000 well with work so um i think it's quite coercive and what does coercive mean coercive is where someone
00:46:18.160 goes if i give you this then or if you do this for me then i'll give you that it's it's almost so
00:46:22.960 it's it's if it's say that again it's if i give you this so if i give you something then yeah then you
00:46:29.920 get something else there's a reward perhaps like coercion is like trying to manipulate or to maneuver
00:46:34.800 people into a shape that you want them to be in so i don't agree with that so it's influencing
00:46:42.000 somebody yeah but it can be in quite a strong way like coercion is actually against the law
00:46:49.360 in relationships yeah it can be yeah because the feminists ruin the laws they just make up
00:46:55.040 these i don't i don't make i don't make the law but coercion is a very old word and it's probably
00:46:59.760 based but but i think i go ahead but what you what you what you just defined is not coercion what you
00:47:05.120 defined is called trade if i give you this you give me this that's literally called trade not coercion
00:47:09.680 i think let's get the dictionary out and look at coercion i'm googling i'm telling you what you said
00:47:16.160 you said if i give you this you give me this there's many ways of naming something that is the same
00:47:22.320 action no normally it is this is a trend this is just a trend i see with women it's like we change
00:47:30.800 the definitions of things and we like change words so they don't mean anything can i can i say what it
00:47:34.800 means i googled it just yeah so and so the threat of force right exactly yeah yeah yeah that's the
00:47:42.560 one that's what that's in your definition the threat of violence or force yeah well it's forcing someone
00:47:48.320 to do something how are you not it's not you choose but then if you don't meet this you didn't say
00:47:53.520 if i give you this you have to give me this by force no but if they don't want to have a relationship
00:47:57.440 with you because you will not give up your instagram then so yeah so it's a free word you don't have
00:48:02.240 you don't choose well then that's it moving on right but but but his but his whole point is you're
00:48:07.840 using a very strong word like like that's that's a crime it's just like i'm saying that in a
00:48:15.680 relationship situation it has been used as being defined as a crime but for me i don't i don't receive
00:48:22.240 coercion well like that you know i'm trying to trade off something for something else how much do you
00:48:26.880 make off of instagram a month i don't think i make money off instagram so you don't make money
00:48:32.720 off of it no no it's not monetized for me no oh so you wouldn't even give it up even even though
00:48:37.760 you don't make money off of it because you said a business i just assumed you know but i put my
00:48:41.840 gallery on there i'm a photographer so i put my work on there and it's my personal gallery so it's my
00:48:47.440 way of putting my work out into the world doesn't matter whether what if what if he got you an art
00:48:51.520 studio and said you can hang them up here um no i don't think so i just like my own thing so i
00:49:02.480 think the way you phrased it is very easy for them to to like wiggle out of the answer okay so
00:49:07.040 let's let's make it more interesting you you said you use your instagram for work do you post
00:49:11.120 personal pictures or stuff on your on on the instagram recently yes so you definitely don't use it only
00:49:16.880 for work no my work was an exhibition so i put myself the point is if it's a work thing that's
00:49:22.160 different we're trying to say like a personal instagram we're not talking about something you
00:49:26.480 use for work or you used to make money we're saying like the instagram that you used to post your
00:49:29.920 selfies your when you turn your back the mirror shots the bikini stuff that's the instagram we're
00:49:34.400 talking about you won't find me in the bikini on instagram no we're just saying it's a hypothetical
00:49:39.120 it's a hypothetical do you have selfies on your instagram um yes or no i did one today okay so
00:49:46.720 okay so you do have personal things on your it's like you're you're just weeding out of this answer
00:49:52.800 regardless the answer is no i would not delete something if someone asked me to just because
00:49:57.360 there was a relationship being dangled okay what would you what would you give up for the right man
00:50:03.280 okay um i'm gonna go to you this is more of a girl question go ahead if we go through like personal
00:50:17.360 like instagram because i use mine for work and i don't post personal stuff i don't post my family
00:50:21.360 friends and things like this and if it was just personal i would give it away because i think nowadays
00:50:26.720 it's hard to get a relationship but it's even harder to protect and maintain it okay and if you get
00:50:32.160 to the point like nowadays the mindset i have i'll give like my password or something like this to
00:50:37.200 give the person like the trust you know because nowadays i think people are not willing they want
00:50:42.000 the relationship but they're not willing to do sacrifices right to maintain it so so would you
00:50:48.080 would you delete it he says i'll pay you what you're getting paid now if i if he's the guy i intend
00:50:54.000 to marry yeah and have kids with i would do that you'd get rid of it i would do that because nowadays
00:50:59.120 like for me like family and protect family and my relationship is a priority and if he can cover
00:51:04.240 like the cost and things like this okay you don't need to work or things like this i would do that in
00:51:08.720 order to protect would you be willing to go down in lifestyle for the right guy
00:51:15.840 not down because i'll find a way to put him up i think uh work as a woman is also like what do you
00:51:21.360 mean you got kids so you got more expenses so it goes down
00:51:27.360 no but you're saying like before or with the guy that's so so you go down in lifestyle for the right
00:51:33.680 guy after marriage yes it can happen of course okay so you would yeah okay cool cool what about you
00:51:41.280 would you delete your instagram for the right guy i i'm not even on social media like that i don't even
00:51:47.280 have full time i don't even have full time instagram would you stop cheating for the right
00:51:55.840 all right um but no but this is but this is exactly what i was saying okay it's just because
00:52:00.960 me i said like i do say yes i did cheat it doesn't make me it doesn't make me the wrong person like
00:52:07.680 all of these people that they don't say they don't because because i'm not judging i'm just asking the
00:52:13.600 question would you stop cheating for the right you meet mr wonderful he's tall whatever you look
00:52:19.920 for you're tight okay the reason i'm not in a relationship it's just because there is no one
00:52:25.600 that's ever deserving me not to cheat on doesn't make sense so every guy you meet deserves so if you
00:52:34.320 dated any of these three guys here four guys five guys in this room i really believe that relationship
00:52:42.080 is very simple you say what you want you like it like it just you talk you just need to talk you
00:52:48.000 just need to be honest with each other okay if there is something you don't like you just move on
00:52:52.560 if like i said like i said so i'm asking you if you liked everything about the guy yes i wouldn't
00:52:58.560 cheat okay thank you i wouldn't would you delete your industry i don't even have instagram but like
00:53:04.080 full time i have your snapchat how do you get recruited on here don't they recruit people
00:53:09.360 through instagram through a friend a friend would you delete your snapchat um my snapchat is new i just
00:53:15.840 delete my snapchats all the time i even change when i'm like there is no way to find me just like for
00:53:22.400 yeah yeah for him because i know you have snapchat so you would you delete yeah but it's new anyway
00:53:27.040 yes i will do good and i will stop cheating if it's the right one wow
00:53:36.480 funny what if a guy said this i don't think it'd be the same reaction not anything and it's gonna be
00:53:40.800 like it's gonna be oh it's fine you know oh he just cheats it's okay but just because i have the
00:53:45.680 supposed to say oh yeah she's a cheater she's so much right i'm saying i don't think like women
00:53:51.840 would clap and laugh as much if it was a guy saying that i don't think it would be the same
00:53:56.720 i think you you get more leeway because you're a chick
00:54:01.040 okay what about you would you delete instagram i don't know it depends like in what stage you
00:54:05.520 are if a guy if i start to date a guy and he's like oh i i want to continue to you want to get
00:54:10.000 serious but i don't want you to be on instagram i'll be like yeah but when you met me you would see
00:54:13.680 what i do of like and if what if when you met him he was sleeping with other chicks
00:54:19.360 but you want him to stop sleeping with other chicks that i wouldn't be i wouldn't be going
00:54:22.400 with him if i would be sleeping oh like how how do relationships start nowadays oh what do you mean
00:54:27.600 say it again how do how do relationships start nowadays in in a relation is it typically you start
00:54:32.960 with the relationship or a situationship first all right situationship right yeah so so what does
00:54:38.480 that mean he's probably sleeping with other chicks yeah but i think that's a very different
00:54:41.360 thing if you're sleeping with other chicks or you have instagram that's two completely different
00:54:44.560 things i would argue it's very similar because women and instagram is an open profile for any
00:54:50.960 man to message you how have women survived historically they got the attention of high
00:54:56.240 value men or the the best guy they could get see i gotta i gotta stop you that wait wait wait have men
00:55:01.360 reproduced historically by screwing a bunch of chicks women had to get the attention from the best
00:55:06.160 guy they can't could men had to screw as many chicks and impregnate them and protect them okay
00:55:12.080 that's why that's why i think it's similar because it's but you're you're fulfilling both of your mating
00:55:16.880 strategies when it comes to like a your biological level okay yeah yeah so so that's why since instagram's
00:55:23.120 the number one dating app and if if he wanted drake kanye any of them could message you i'm not saying they
00:55:29.040 will but i'm saying they could right that's that's why i'm saying it's it's basically an invitation for any
00:55:34.960 guy to message you at any point during your relationship good but like for example i think
00:55:39.600 it depends as well my my instagram account is private like i don't accept people if i don't
00:55:44.320 know you a lot of people i don't know i won't accept you on it that also has to do with my job
00:55:48.160 whatsoever blah blah do you have your do you have your face on it oh yeah absolutely okay so but the
00:55:52.480 people that follow you yeah they could still message you right they could yeah okay and and there's
00:55:57.760 probably men that you've liked in the past that follow you yeah oh okay so that yeah that's the whole
00:56:03.760 point yeah yeah they could still message you absolutely correct correct that's what i'm
00:56:07.760 saying yeah i i think it's similar that's that's why i think it's similar because i think that sex
00:56:14.640 um sex is to men like attention is to women but that is of course your opinion
00:56:24.480 my point though is that that's how we survived we could not survive unless we got the attention of the
00:56:30.160 best guy we could that could protect us men could not pass on their genes without screwing a bunch
00:56:36.160 of chicks so my you you said he did that like that you were doing that when you met him and i'm
00:56:43.520 my point is that he was sleeping with other people when he met you yeah so that he should
00:56:47.440 not stop because that's how you found him careful yeah no i know i'm just i'm just thinking i'm just
00:56:55.280 like i'm saying pearl pearl you're using too much logic here
00:57:01.920 no i'm just still thinking like you i don't know i'm just still seeing this is exactly what i said
00:57:09.440 when you go and decide to have a relationship you just say okay you're willing to do this you're willing
00:57:15.040 to do that you don't need to push that's why cheating comes that's why toxic comes my point
00:57:22.080 is he's asking you this is the right guy this is mr wonderful and he says i just need the instagram
00:57:29.360 to go i just want to know why if you have a valid reason if you have a proper valid reason why you
00:57:34.560 want me to get off it he doesn't have a reason that's valid to you i would need to have a reason
00:57:38.880 you just said lady this is my program i like you i just need the instagram to go please don't argue
00:57:44.880 with me and if you want to do it i will actually want it and pearl said he has the reason but it's
00:57:51.440 not valid to you it's no she just said he doesn't have a reason he has a reason i said it's not valid to
00:57:56.800 you i think we're putting too much power on instagram now yeah i don't know i don't know i
00:58:05.040 i would i have to i would have to be in a situation like i think about a lot of things when you say
00:58:08.800 like a would you would you i don't know if you can always say i would or i would not if you're not
00:58:13.680 actually in that situation yourself i think that's a no thank you personally is the guy allowed to keep
00:58:20.880 their instagram oh if he doesn't want you to have instagram i wouldn't i reckon he doesn't have
00:58:26.160 instagram himself he's allowed to keep it no you know what you know what i'll tell you something
00:58:36.160 if you ask a guy will you will you delete the instagram for me and he does that automatically
00:58:44.080 he lost your respect fact preach i will not but here's the reality here's the reality
00:58:50.640 where he has another instagram that you don't know about no no you don't understand if he if
00:58:55.120 he complied to everything a woman says like something is like is wrong he's not like the
00:59:00.480 the leader he's not and you're not gonna like him as well you're just doing everything you're gonna get
00:59:04.800 bored at a certain point definitely you might he might have bended to your rules for that curve but
00:59:12.080 eventually it's it's not gonna work out and let me tell you something my last relationship
00:59:19.280 and the most healthy ahead to a point so i asked her to delete her instagram i had instagram back
00:59:27.200 then why did you ask her to delete her instagram because i found it useless for her why why she was
00:59:33.280 not making money out of this but but do you need to make it have instagram to make money out of it
00:59:37.360 why you have it then just to promote yourself where yeah sorry i like how the cheater gets it
00:59:43.280 let me tell you what i did okay go ahead i told her to delete it she said yes immediately
00:59:56.640 and i closed my i deactivated my account as well but she didn't ask me is the difference yeah and now
01:00:02.160 why i said it because there is no reason any reason at all for her to to like upload pictures on
01:00:09.120 instagram or anything why for who i'm front of here she can wear anything she wants she can not
01:00:15.520 wear anything maybe she's not doing it for you maybe maybe family friends if it lives abroad
01:00:20.080 whatsoever she can send her mother on whatsapp yeah there's no reason why and because she was like a
01:00:26.880 bit uh famous for what she was doing in international level so there was many people there on instagram so
01:00:34.960 yeah i didn't want all these people to just follow her and watch her that was toxic from my side
01:00:41.040 yeah i wouldn't do that now i wouldn't care at all but yeah i'm telling you the situation that was
01:00:46.160 toxic why is that people call it toxic these days yeah i felt it's controlling it's not toxic it's
01:00:52.240 controlling and it's not fair no no no i'm saying toxin because it was like overruled for example you
01:00:57.840 don't like something let her go that's it don't put rules if she really if she really like
01:01:03.600 won't you she will understand on her own and then that's a green flag she will deactivate it
01:01:07.440 she knows it's wrong so was she using instagram as a job like four jobs like was it a business
01:01:12.720 instagram or because you said she was known internationally it was a bit of promotion but
01:01:18.000 she wasn't like actively making money from instagram itself can i ask how long the relationship last
01:01:23.120 after this
01:01:28.640 no no after after you asked her to close the oh that was maybe the first month