JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


She refused to take accountability


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

220.15067

Word count

2,338

Sentence count

219

Harmful content

Misogyny

36

sentences flagged

Hate speech

28

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss why women are leaving their marriages at an alarming rate. We discuss why this is happening and what we can do to prevent it. We also discuss why men should be doing more to make sure their wives stay in their marriages.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 There are so many different things involved in not seeing red flags.
00:00:03.720 There are so many different mental health issues.
00:00:04.960 There are so many different societal pressures.
00:00:05.800 There's so many excuses.
00:00:07.220 It's not an excuse.
00:00:08.100 You call it an excuse, but there's a reason for it.
00:00:10.560 There's a reason.
00:00:11.340 That's an excuse.
00:00:12.580 It doesn't mean it's not justified.
00:00:13.860 You sound like you have a lot of excuses for women. 0.99
00:00:15.800 I don't have excuses for women. 1.00
00:00:17.260 I have an understanding of what women have been through.
00:00:19.120 To me, it's just take accountability.
00:00:20.320 I think the conversation is like, you're trying to say everything's really black and white.
00:00:26.260 This is the reason why women leave all the time. 1.00
00:00:31.400 Relationships are so complex that looking at a stat, you can't be like, okay, well, it's women's fault. 1.00
00:00:37.780 They need to behave.
00:00:38.820 But the results is what matters.
00:00:42.000 What matters is not your feelings.
00:00:43.600 What matters is the results at the end of the day.
00:00:45.560 And so if the results are a certain percentage of women, 80%, are leaving marriages, 0.89
00:00:49.980 your feelings don't come into the situation because what's happening is,
00:00:52.900 because everyone's going to have different feelings, right?
00:00:54.760 Like, this woman said it was because of that reason.
00:00:57.120 That woman said it because of that reason. 1.00
00:00:58.400 It was because of this.
00:00:59.240 But at the end of the day, the result is it's 80% of women leaving marriages. 0.99
00:01:03.560 And at the end of the day, it's the kids who suffer because you're putting your feelings above the kids.
00:01:09.400 And this is, I'm taking out exceptions like abuse.
00:01:12.060 Outside of abuse, you're putting your feelings above the children.
00:01:15.600 Do you not think if men behave better, women would stay? 1.00
00:01:18.300 Because women, and now, you know, you have to be responsible. 1.00
00:01:21.600 You have to get a job.
00:01:22.600 But also, you have to do the domestic labor. 0.95
00:01:25.480 You have to do the emotional labor.
00:01:27.180 Men, in today's society, like, yeah, you have to get a job.
00:01:31.120 And you have to, like, help out with the job.
00:01:32.740 Isn't that a bit sexist?
00:01:34.060 Yeah, but, like...
00:01:34.980 Yeah, but, like...
00:01:36.300 I don't understand why it's okay to be openly sexist against men.
00:01:39.520 But it's not sexist.
00:01:40.380 Because what if they said if women just behaved better, that it would be better? 1.00
00:01:44.060 Because that's what you said.
00:01:45.600 You said that.
00:01:46.220 No, that's not.
00:01:47.060 No, you said, like, behave correctly.
00:01:48.680 Guys, that's the whole stream.
00:01:51.860 But I was only saying that to, like, combat saying, oh, it's the women's fault. 1.00
00:01:56.180 Or what about if the men could be a better husband and could help around the house more.
00:02:01.260 The fact that men help around the house when it's their house as well, like, that's literally what it's called.
00:02:07.120 Like, there is, like, a disparity with the amount of labor that women do and that men do.
00:02:13.280 Yeah, but men make more money, statistically. 0.99
00:02:16.000 So you could just say that men contribute more.
00:02:17.720 Yeah, men provide value in other ways.
00:02:19.100 Like, if a dude's paying my rent, he's not doing shit.
00:02:21.400 He's not doing shit around the house.
00:02:23.540 Yeah, but women also work. 1.00
00:02:25.820 So, like, they're also doing a nine-to-five.
00:02:27.720 Like, maybe they're...
00:02:29.120 So, like...
00:02:29.940 But I'm saying, statistically, men make more money.
00:02:32.540 I just...
00:02:33.120 So...
00:02:33.600 Go ahead.
00:02:34.020 I just wanted to ask, all your statistics and your percentages, all of that, where did
00:02:40.060 you find it?
00:02:40.620 Is it in the UK?
00:02:41.400 Is it in the US?
00:02:42.200 UK and US.
00:02:43.080 Which...
00:02:43.240 There's a little bit of a disparity between the UK and US, specifically when it comes
00:02:47.420 to divorce.
00:02:48.140 It's 64% in the UK, and it's 80% in the US.
00:02:52.760 And who carried out the studies?
00:02:55.040 Um, the government.
00:02:56.980 The government...
00:02:57.620 Government studies...
00:02:58.140 Took how many women? 0.96
00:02:59.000 100 women? 1.00
00:02:59.660 And then asked them about their life and then...
00:03:00.760 So, do you think, do you think if you, if you do three, four different studies and they
00:03:03.760 all come up to similar conclusions, we can, we can say that it's around 80%, 90% if you're...
00:03:08.240 Yeah.
00:03:08.720 Divorce lawyers.
00:03:10.420 Divorce court.
00:03:11.120 If...
00:03:11.660 Okay.
00:03:11.880 We're getting the statistics from there, so we can see who's initiating the divorces. 0.84
00:03:15.040 Like, someone has to file.
00:03:16.400 Right, exactly.
00:03:17.020 So, when you file for divorce, it goes on record.
00:03:19.540 Okay.
00:03:19.760 So, it's 80% of women that are filing for divorce. 1.00
00:03:22.700 How would you improve the situation for, like, I feel like you both have, like, heard, you
00:03:29.700 know, thought about this a lot.
00:03:30.900 Like, what would you say that both men and women can do to improve the situation?
00:03:35.360 I think a financial abortion should be legal. 1.00
00:03:38.440 What do you mean?
00:03:39.060 What do you mean?
00:03:39.580 Like, I think that if women have the right to get an abortion, men should be able to 0.98
00:03:42.920 get a financial abortion so they can sign off all rights and not pay any child support. 0.74
00:03:46.920 Whoa.
00:03:47.280 I would say that's one thing, because the way it is now, like, women are incentivized 1.00
00:03:51.640 to get kids off of rich guys.
00:03:53.380 Like, the NBA had to issue a statement saying that women, like, kept stealing condoms, and 0.99
00:03:57.940 I just think that should be illegal.
00:03:59.080 Like, you shouldn't be able to legally do that.
00:04:00.420 I mean, Drake had to put hot sauce in his condom.
00:04:01.660 Yeah, like, I'd say that's one.
00:04:03.320 To stop this woman from getting a baby. 1.00
00:04:04.800 There are women out there literally incentivized to try and get a rich man's baby. 1.00
00:04:08.260 That was just one story with Drake and one random lady, and it doesn't represent all women
00:04:12.120 in the world.
00:04:12.700 So, I understand that, but I do these interviews all the time.
00:04:15.520 So, I'll go on the street, I'll talk to them at, like, I'll talk to them at random people
00:04:19.160 on the street, random people in my living room, and I've had so many guys tell me stories
00:04:22.440 of girls doing this to them. 1.00
00:04:23.800 Go ahead.
00:04:24.500 And your guys' opinions favor a certain side.
00:04:28.020 So, when you go out on these ventures and you ask people, you know what you're looking
00:04:30.540 for, you know what you can put and edit and post.
00:04:33.640 Are you saying we're rigging the game now?
00:04:34.780 No, I'm not rigging the game, but you're looking for something, that's why you're going
00:04:37.680 out there.
00:04:38.000 So, you're going to speak about certain things.
00:04:39.340 I would say I get more people that disagree, to be honest, when I go out, than agree.
00:04:44.020 So, I wouldn't say I'm, like, rigging the game.
00:04:46.300 Okay.
00:04:46.540 But if you're going to have sex with a woman, sorry, am I supposed to say that? 0.99
00:04:50.380 You can say sex.
00:04:51.760 Can I say woman?
00:04:56.920 There is a chance that that woman may get pregnant. 1.00
00:05:01.480 So, if you have sex with a guy, there's a chance you might get pregnant. 1.00
00:05:04.000 Yeah.
00:05:04.500 That's on you.
00:05:05.080 So, if you get to choose not to be a mother, he should get to choose not to be a father. 0.55
00:05:09.960 Equal. 0.80
00:05:11.200 Equality.
00:05:12.120 Whose responsibility do you think it is for getting pregnant? 1.00
00:05:15.200 It's both of them.
00:05:16.500 Yeah, it's definitely a...
00:05:18.220 Yeah, but women have more to risk by getting pregnant. 1.00
00:05:22.520 Unless it's a situation of grape, you let the man inside.
00:05:27.100 So, how is it...
00:05:27.800 So, it's your responsibility if you get pregnant, even though it's... 0.98
00:05:30.780 No, I said, whose responsibility to get pregnant? 0.87
00:05:33.260 All of the power is within the woman's hands. 1.00
00:05:35.580 You have the right to say yes or no.
00:05:37.600 Once you do say yes or no, you have the right to keep the baby. 0.67
00:05:41.340 You have the right to either put the baby up for adoption.
00:05:44.500 You have the right to put the man on child support.
00:05:46.440 It's all in your hands.
00:05:47.140 We also have birth control.
00:05:48.240 You can get an IUD.
00:05:49.000 It's like 99.99% effective.
00:05:51.260 It's all in your hands.
00:05:51.500 Yeah, IUDs aren't great, though.
00:05:52.560 Birth control isn't great to be...
00:05:54.440 But I'm saying that's a better option than what men have. 0.96
00:05:57.380 Or you can require them and you sleep with wear a condom.
00:06:00.060 So, it's like, I'm saying we have all the power when it comes to sex.
00:06:02.800 And who gives birth and who picks who is born. 0.81
00:06:05.520 Yeah, nowadays a woman's... 1.00
00:06:07.060 I feel like a woman's really only going to have a kid if she really wants to. 1.00
00:06:10.180 Because there are so many ways for her to prevent that at different stages all throughout.
00:06:14.440 But I also think if there were more support for women who do want to have children,
00:06:17.860 may not have necessarily found the right man who actually wants to have a child with her. 0.78
00:06:21.640 If she was able to get more financial support, then she wouldn't feel like she'd need to
00:06:27.500 trap a man in order to get a baby. 0.81
00:06:29.600 That's a horrible excuse.
00:06:32.700 Are you excusing a girl trying to get a kid off of a rich guy because she doesn't... 0.94
00:06:37.640 I'm not trying to excuse it, but...
00:06:38.980 But that's what you're doing.
00:06:40.020 If, like, you know, childcare's really expensive, okay?
00:06:44.080 Raising a child's really expensive and it's really hard to do on your own, right?
00:06:47.740 Yeah, so you should get married.
00:06:48.660 You should get married and do it.
00:06:50.840 But what if no one wants to marry you?
00:06:52.160 Did you know that before he got pregnant?
00:06:53.240 Well, then you need to change your strategy.
00:06:56.520 Well, I'm saying maybe lower your standards then.
00:06:58.880 If no one of the guys you like want to marry you, you're probably shooting too high.
00:07:03.420 Change how you deal with men.
00:07:04.380 Just like if a dude's shooting at Victoria's Secret models and they all tell him no,
00:07:07.780 he'll probably be like, oh, let me adjust.
00:07:10.460 What if you're like, just don't see any men that you...
00:07:13.980 Sperm down her. 1.00
00:07:14.740 Yeah.
00:07:15.520 What if you're asexual?
00:07:16.840 You don't have any romantic or sexual interest ever.
00:07:19.460 You just want to live life, have a kid.
00:07:21.700 Well, isn't that selfish?
00:07:23.340 To bring a kid into a situation where there's a sexual orientation.
00:07:27.580 It's not selfish.
00:07:28.400 You don't think children need two parents?
00:07:30.580 No.
00:07:31.300 I think they need a community.
00:07:33.260 I don't think they need two parents.
00:07:34.260 This is one of the reasons why society's broken.
00:07:36.140 Because women are actually literally running around thinking that children don't need two parents. 1.00
00:07:39.900 If you're a good enough person, you can teach a child by yourself.
00:07:42.420 I just read you a bunch of stats showing that children that come from single mothers are statistically at a disadvantage in nearly every category.
00:07:51.140 That's not necessarily because...
00:07:52.020 And then you're going to tell me, oh, yeah, it's fine.
00:07:53.640 Let's rate a child by...
00:07:54.420 I think it's equally selfish if a dude does the same thing.
00:07:58.320 Like, if a dude wanted to, I don't know, adopt as a single father, like, I think that's selfish.
00:08:04.300 And even if you can, that doesn't necessarily mean you should.
00:08:06.540 Yeah.
00:08:06.980 Like, because you're putting what you want above what is best for the kid.
00:08:10.740 I think if you're adopting a child, whether you're a single person or not, I think that's a really lovely thing to do.
00:08:15.840 Because being in the care system is not fun.
00:08:18.340 And if you're a single parent, it's better than having no parent, no one to look after you.
00:08:23.320 You've got care workers in and out all day.
00:08:25.540 And also, like, I lost my train of thought.
00:08:29.100 But an ideal situation would be...
00:08:30.520 An ideal situation is two parents.
00:08:32.700 Would you not agree with that?
00:08:33.680 I would agree that you need a support system.
00:08:36.920 It doesn't necessarily mean it needs to be two parents.
00:08:40.920 You could have four parents.
00:08:42.260 You could have friends.
00:08:43.240 You could have cousins and aunties who are older.
00:08:45.700 Do you think that's the same as having a mom and a dad in the home?
00:08:48.340 I've never had both.
00:08:49.780 So I have no idea.
00:08:50.900 I could not compare.
00:08:51.820 I think if the kid has adults who love them and show that they love them openly and always,
00:08:56.240 then it doesn't matter if it's specifically a man and a woman or two parents that raise them.
00:09:00.000 It's a community.
00:09:00.820 If it's someone that shows love.
00:09:02.420 So in all the statistics that I read, they never had a father in the home.
00:09:05.820 There are so many different...
00:09:06.780 Hang on, hang on.
00:09:07.440 They never had a father in the home.
00:09:09.180 Okay?
00:09:09.740 It was single...
00:09:10.360 They never had a father.
00:09:11.200 This shows that boys and girls need both their mother and their father to be fully functioning members of society 0.92
00:09:20.440 who aren't going to be grapists, who aren't going to be prisoners, who aren't going to be, you know, misfits.
00:09:26.840 But I think this is one of the things that I can't understand why women would argue for singledom 1.00
00:09:33.320 and to raise a child by themselves and then act like it's normal.
00:09:37.720 Like it's going to benefit society.
00:09:39.880 It's not going to benefit society when it comes to prison.
00:09:42.080 It's not going to benefit society when it comes to crime.
00:09:44.700 So why do it?
00:09:45.380 I think what you've just said is that you can't be a normal functioning member of society if you were raised by a... 0.97
00:09:50.160 That's not what it's saying.
00:09:51.340 It's not that you're saying.
00:09:52.380 It's about probability.
00:09:53.800 That's not...
00:09:54.380 That's not...
00:09:54.780 We're saying...
00:09:55.340 That's what I heard.
00:09:56.400 Okay, but just because you heard it, that's not what he said.
00:09:58.900 That's not what he said.
00:09:59.640 So what we're saying is it puts you at every statistical disadvantage.
00:10:03.140 So why would you push that in a society?
00:10:05.460 I don't think...
00:10:06.720 Personally, I'm not speaking to everyone else.
00:10:09.180 I'm not pushing it.
00:10:10.160 But if that's your best bet, like, you know, then...
00:10:15.080 All you can do is your best.
00:10:17.380 And if you're doing your best, then, like, what else can you expect someone to do?
00:10:21.060 I think there's always just banned on TikTok.
00:10:24.640 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:10:28.560 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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