JustPearlyThings - May 29, 2023


She STRUGGLED To Answer This Question


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

211.44377

Word count

2,147

Sentence count

197

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what it means to be older in the dating world and whether or not women should be allowed to date younger than they are now. We also talk about the benefits and drawbacks of getting married later in life.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 It's true, but with my line of work, I would say, I can't necessarily, like, it's like if you're a model, it's like you only have, like, when you're young.
00:00:07.860 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can do it for, even like athletes, you have to do it in your kind of prime, so that afterwards, you're, like, good enough to settle down.
00:00:15.180 Which is fine, but, you know, it's just a trade-off, because it's going to be unattractive to the men you want.
00:00:20.380 What, to have a kid afterwards?
00:00:21.760 No, well, to be older, a girl that's in the industry, that's been around industry men for 10 years, like, so let's say you get married at 30. 0.99
00:00:30.000 Right?
00:00:30.460 You're going to have been around these high-value men for 10 years, right, because you're around all the celebrities.
00:00:35.280 You'll probably have hooked up with a couple by then.
00:00:38.220 Just, I mean, come on, you're going to be around them for 10 years, nothing.
00:00:42.760 I did it!
00:00:43.620 You're not going to go on a date, nothing.
00:00:45.520 So you're going to hit 30, right?
00:00:47.560 You're going to have been around these men for 10 years, and, you know, you have a whole big social media following.
00:00:54.920 It's like, that's going to be unattractive to you.
00:00:56.780 And if you make a lot of money, the guys you want, it's going to be a small percentage, because you're going to want someone that makes more money than you.
00:01:02.660 Yeah, but I think you should be allowed to date someone within that realm.
00:01:05.480 You shouldn't be looking at...
00:01:06.280 No, I think you're allowed to, but I just think, what percent of guys do you think make six figures?
00:01:11.800 I know it's not a lot, but you don't have to make six figures to be comfortable.
00:01:15.620 How much do you need to be comfortable?
00:01:17.660 It depends where you live.
00:01:18.940 Okay, where do you want to live?
00:01:20.580 Like, between here and, like, I would say, I love New York and, like, Miami.
00:01:26.440 Okay, so in a big city, how much do you need to be comfortable?
00:01:30.960 Like, housing...
00:01:31.720 Six figures!
00:01:32.380 No, I'm joking.
00:01:33.140 No, but, like, six figures is, like...
00:01:34.500 With kids, with kids.
00:01:35.520 Oh, with kids.
00:01:36.600 How much money do you need?
00:01:37.820 Seven figures.
00:01:39.440 Well, combined or individually?
00:01:40.660 Um, how much...
00:01:43.900 Combined, combined.
00:01:45.320 I would say, like, if you're both on a good salary of at least, like, maybe...
00:01:50.660 Like, at least, like, 50k enough, I think.
00:01:53.740 Okay, so 100k total as a household.
00:01:56.300 Yeah, I guess.
00:01:56.980 And if you weren't going to work, you'd have to make what?
00:02:00.620 Ooh.
00:02:01.400 I don't know!
00:02:02.260 I don't know how much things cost, that's why I'm, like...
00:02:03.860 No, it's okay, it's okay.
00:02:05.340 I mean, even if we brought it down to 80 or 70.
00:02:07.700 Yeah, yeah.
00:02:08.020 And I'm not faulting you for any of it.
00:02:10.320 Yeah, but I'm just telling you that the older you are, you're going to be uglier.
00:02:15.800 Black don't crack, so I don't agree with that. 1.00
00:02:18.280 No, because I'm basically saying, like, a lot of women that I know who are, like, of the same...
00:02:22.800 It doesn't mean...
00:02:23.800 You'll probably look better than, say, white women at 30, right? 0.98
00:02:28.140 But you're still going to be uglier than you are now.
00:02:32.140 I won't say uglier, I'll say more mature.
00:02:34.400 Seasoned.
00:02:34.960 But I'm telling you how men see it as less attractive.
00:02:37.280 Well, they're less attractive.
00:02:38.000 So, 50...
00:02:39.000 Like, half of them are bald.
00:02:41.420 I'll tell you, I'll tell you that's not true.
00:02:43.600 That's not true.
00:02:44.280 So, men, if you look at dating app swipes, women, half of...
00:02:47.720 By the time, when you start at 18 to when you're 30, your swipes go down by 50%.
00:02:51.880 Where men, they just go up. 0.99
00:02:54.840 Because women, we look at other things, like their job, if they're funny, if all this stuff... 1.00
00:02:59.040 And they get funnier over time, the younger women, us, will still date the 40, or at least look at the 45-year-old, where it's not the same for men.
00:03:09.840 Where men around our age, at like 30, 35, they start dating younger and younger.
00:03:14.180 That's just weird, though.
00:03:15.900 I feel like men who date younger can't... don't have the capability of dating women their own age.
00:03:22.640 Why would they date someone their own age when they could date younger?
00:03:26.340 Same with women. 1.00
00:03:27.700 If men like girls with low body counts, if they like young, attractive women that can have kids for them, why would they want to date someone their own age?
00:03:36.700 Because it's like, what do you have in common with, like...
00:03:39.120 If a 30-year-old came to me, it's like, what do we have in common?
00:03:41.460 Do you think men care that much about what they have in common with a girl?
00:03:46.040 At a certain point in their life, yes.
00:03:47.980 Because you see a lot of men who date these pretty model women.
00:03:50.940 It gets to a point where they're like, oh, yeah, she's pretty, but what else is she bringing?
00:03:54.760 Like, can we have a conversation?
00:03:55.660 Do you think that rich men that have the most options don't date model women? 0.94
00:04:00.340 They date model women, but I think deep down inside, everyone wants someone they can actually, like, talk to.
00:04:06.660 And I think, like, they really... that's why a lot of them, like, regret it.
00:04:09.560 Do you think men value talking to their women? 0.99
00:04:13.340 I think if you're an intelligent man, then yes.
00:04:15.320 Do you think that men want to talk all the time? 0.95
00:04:17.180 Not all the time, but at least if you're out to dinner.
00:04:20.140 If I'm just there like, oh my God, hey guys, like, just on my phone.
00:04:23.400 So what's more important to men, looks or talking?
00:04:28.100 Intellectual man talking.
00:04:31.500 What?
00:04:33.100 Let's meet like...
00:04:34.040 You think, okay, so you think that Jeff Bezos, do you think he's an intellectual man?
00:04:38.860 Yes.
00:04:39.520 Do you think that Leonardo DiCaprio is an intellectual man?
00:04:42.480 Yeah, okay.
00:04:43.220 Leonardo...
00:04:44.140 Do you think that Drake's...
00:04:45.340 Do you think Drake's an intellectual man?
00:04:47.000 Yeah.
00:04:47.300 That I know.
00:04:47.800 Okay, two out of the three of them date like 22-year-olds, 25-year-olds.
00:04:52.540 Very true.
00:04:53.280 They all date younger.
00:04:54.560 But their serial daters, they can't stay in a relationship.
00:04:57.360 And that just goes to a point where you are unable to sustain something
00:05:01.260 because you're dating women who you are just getting for four looks. 0.99
00:05:05.260 That's nothing.
00:05:06.380 That's just...
00:05:06.800 Do you think they want to stay in it?
00:05:07.980 What incentive do men have to stay in relationships? 0.98
00:05:10.460 To have a family.
00:05:13.320 Well, for...
00:05:14.420 And have a good mother that you know is like, these are my children.
00:05:18.220 These are like your...
00:05:19.120 These are parts of you.
00:05:20.460 Like, why would you not want someone great to raise your kids?
00:05:24.020 So, it's interesting.
00:05:24.920 I used to have that thought, right?
00:05:26.560 And I never understood why men would want to be alone.
00:05:29.000 Okay?
00:05:29.200 I used to think that.
00:05:30.780 And what I realized is...
00:05:32.860 So, if you...
00:05:34.140 Let's say you became a millionaire.
00:05:35.660 Okay?
00:05:36.520 And you decided to have a child with a guy.
00:05:39.460 Okay.
00:05:40.600 And if that guy...
00:05:42.380 Let's say he changed his mind all the time.
00:05:44.920 Every day he was in, out, I don't know.
00:05:47.040 Like, just a bunch of different...
00:05:48.160 Whatever.
00:05:49.160 And he had the power to leave at any point.
00:05:54.300 90% chance he takes the kid with him.
00:05:57.380 And he's going to take 50% to 80% of all the money you made.
00:06:01.500 Would you sign up for that?
00:06:03.360 No.
00:06:03.780 Prenup.
00:06:04.980 So, prenups aren't legally binding here.
00:06:07.800 In what?
00:06:08.420 They're not legally binding here, no.
00:06:10.980 No.
00:06:11.480 That's crazy.
00:06:12.080 Well, I'm a U.S. citizen, so I'll get married in America.
00:06:14.620 So, prenups in the U.S., it depends on the state.
00:06:18.220 But the 50-50, the kids...
00:06:20.940 So, you can protect your assets more in a prenup.
00:06:23.960 But when it comes to children, there's...
00:06:27.700 And child support.
00:06:30.080 And alimony.
00:06:31.820 So, men don't have a lot of incentive to... 1.00
00:06:34.060 So, you're an American citizen.
00:06:34.960 Where are you from?
00:06:35.420 Yeah, like, all my family's...
00:06:37.280 Well, like, my dad's from New York and all my family live in Florida.
00:06:39.180 Oh, okay, funny.
00:06:39.720 I'm Chicago, but...
00:06:40.840 But, yeah, there's just not as much incentive nowadays.
00:06:45.140 That's because I don't think there's been a lot of people who have had happy marriages.
00:06:49.180 Like, you don't really look around and see that.
00:06:51.600 So, why would you?
00:06:52.040 And even as a woman, I see a lot of the time women getting cheated on by mistresses. 1.00
00:06:57.320 And being a mistress seems more fun than being a wife nowadays. 0.94
00:07:01.380 Because they be out and proud about it.
00:07:02.680 But, boy, it's like, shame.
00:07:03.580 Who lies more, men or women? 0.81
00:07:06.600 Men.
00:07:08.500 I feel like women can lie more. 1.00
00:07:10.720 I feel like men lie more. 0.86
00:07:11.200 It's a different...
00:07:11.940 I think it's a different type of lying.
00:07:13.760 For the...
00:07:14.360 No, just lying.
00:07:15.460 Men or women? 0.78
00:07:19.500 I'm saying...
00:07:20.460 Like, I'm a woman.
00:07:21.480 I gotta say the man.
00:07:22.500 I gotta say the man then.
00:07:23.700 So, men and men?
00:07:24.740 Women. 0.81
00:07:25.360 You think women lie more. 1.00
00:07:26.900 Who wears more makeup, fake hair extensions, fake lashes?
00:07:30.920 I mean, the trans now. 0.99
00:07:33.520 Listen, but...
00:07:34.580 Women do that, but it's too... 1.00
00:07:35.740 Do you think that's lying about your appearance?
00:07:37.680 Okay, so...
00:07:38.620 No, no.
00:07:39.040 It's in half?
00:07:39.320 Because I 100% get your point.
00:07:40.960 I've, like, always tried to advocate for girls being natural.
00:07:43.580 Like, I'm pretty...
00:07:44.840 I would say...
00:07:45.720 Well, semi-natural.
00:07:46.400 I know my hair's blonde and stuff, but...
00:07:48.020 Yeah, I can attest.
00:07:49.080 You're not wearing a ton of makeup.
00:07:49.780 Yeah, no, no, no.
00:07:50.380 I wear very, very minimal makeup, but that's...
00:07:52.260 I have, like...
00:07:52.840 Why'd you do the hair?
00:07:53.780 The blonde? 0.95
00:07:54.820 What?
00:07:55.200 You don't like the finger waves?
00:07:56.240 No.
00:07:57.240 Really?
00:07:58.080 No, no, no, no.
00:07:58.640 I don't like not natural looking stuff.
00:08:01.140 Yeah, but I wore my hair out natural for...
00:08:03.260 I've only done this for two years.
00:08:04.780 My hair's been natural.
00:08:06.040 You should bring it back.
00:08:07.040 The whole rest of the show.
00:08:07.760 See it.
00:08:08.400 Yeah, but he's, like...
00:08:09.400 That's what men like.
00:08:10.120 Men like natural, too.
00:08:10.800 I know, but they like that, but then I kind of fit into their category of being, like,
00:08:15.000 a fair-skinned, curly-headed woman, so they're not really liking me for my personality, and
00:08:18.980 that's one of the reasons why I cut it, because when I used to wear my hair out, guys used
00:08:22.280 to treat me, like, a lot differently, and something would grab on my hair, and that's not nice,
00:08:27.800 and, like, people...
00:08:28.400 What, they would just grab out your hair in public?
00:08:30.440 No, like, when I would be in, like, certain events, like, in the club or something...
00:08:33.360 That's so touching.
00:08:33.820 Like, when I was, like, young, they would literally, if they want to chat, they would
00:08:36.080 pull me by my hair, thinking, how rude, like, don't do that.
00:08:39.740 So, a random guy would come, like, on a regular basis, they would just grab your hair?
00:08:44.020 Yeah, I've had multiple men grab my hair.
00:08:45.700 How would that happen?
00:08:47.320 I would be walking past, and it's literally, like, a...
00:08:49.820 They would just grab it?
00:08:51.040 Yeah.
00:08:51.460 That's so weird.
00:08:52.000 I've never seen that.
00:08:52.760 That's what I'm saying, but, like, people wouldn't believe it, but it's happened, and it's
00:08:56.400 just, like, it's made me feel uncomfortable, or people, like, fetishizing you.
00:09:01.220 Do you want a boyfriend?
00:09:02.240 I would like a boyfriend, but I don't need.
00:09:07.340 No, yeah, but what would you, what would be ideal to you?
00:09:09.720 Being with someone you respect and admire, or being by yourself?
00:09:13.660 I think if I'm happy with that person, then, yeah, being with someone.
00:09:17.760 So, why would you not want to dress in a way that would attract someone that you respect
00:09:21.220 and admire?
00:09:22.060 But I get people are attracted to me more with my hair like this, because not a lot of
00:09:25.220 people have this hair stuff.
00:09:26.260 Like, hardly anyone has this hair stuff.
00:09:27.160 Do you think men or women are more attracted to you with your hair like that?
00:09:29.980 I've had a lot of men be like, your hair's really cool.
00:09:33.260 Because they're interested, they're intrigued, but it brings them, it's the conversation
00:09:36.000 start, like, bro, your hair.
00:09:37.380 Like, even when I was walking here, some guy stopped in his back and was like, yeah, your
00:09:40.400 hair's sick, bruv.
00:09:41.380 And I was like, thanks.
00:09:43.940 Literally.
00:09:44.640 Do you think they're typically the men you want?
00:09:47.700 When I go, no, no, no.
00:09:48.700 What I will say is, because one time I went to a private membership club, and I've had
00:09:54.020 men approach me because I don't look like the typical girls they usually see.
00:09:57.500 So, why aren't you with them?
00:09:59.640 If they're the men you want, right?
00:10:01.260 Because I haven't been with them.
00:10:02.100 I don't usually, like, I'm just focused on, like, me doing me right now.
00:10:05.860 I'm not, like, if they want to take me out, cool, but I'm just, like, it's not there.