JustPearlyThings - She Was Shocked After Learning This About Men

00:00:00.000 look at that what are you doing when when when they all go out and they're upstairs in the room

00:00:04.180 with mandem what are you doing you're downstairs played in playing solitaire i was about to say

00:00:08.940 play nintendo wii but no no playing solitaire sometimes you're just minding your business and 0.95

00:00:12.700 maybe when it comes to like having sex with boys that might not be the same topics that i might

00:00:17.860 not be into but like behind closed doors when we're not talking about boys and we're not talking

00:00:21.600 about sex they are like typical topics that are like yeah this is why i'm your friend so whenever

00:00:27.840 a girl gets a man most girls have always got one whole friend most girls always got one whole 0.99

00:00:31.920 friend and they know their hoe and and they don't like to admit their hoe but they're their whole 1.00

00:00:36.520 friend and whenever they get whenever they get a new man a lot of the times the man will clock this

00:00:40.640 whole friend and he'll say certain things and you and you know i mean he'll be like oh that your

00:00:45.040 friend that your friend he's not trying to call your friend a hoe but you don't want to call your

00:00:48.780 friend a hoe to your man but we all know we all know and you know as a guy we always have to deal 1.00

00:00:54.000 with that and a lot of times those friends don't tend to hang around for too long after that person

00:00:58.320 gets a man or whatever it's because your whole life doesn't represent what they live anymore and

00:01:03.360 i'm trying to say to you versus she wants to be going out and doing certain things and now you've

00:01:06.640 got a man and maybe your man don't want you to be there because she's rightly single she can go out 1.00

00:01:10.520 and you know interact with other men and be taken to tables but if you're out with her now you

00:01:15.560 automatically put yourself in a predicament where other men can now start speaking to you and if she is

00:01:20.800 a hoe and known for being a hoe out in the club every single guy in there is going to see you as 1.00

00:01:25.040 a hoe and there's nothing worse being seen as something that you're not and people treat you

00:01:29.060 like that and your man hearing that oh your girl's out with some hoe in a nightclub 1.00

00:01:32.900 do you guys do you think do you guys think it's appropriate to go out in a relationship

00:01:38.220 yeah why not is it is that a bad thing though

00:01:42.020 it's that a thing now

00:01:44.280 conduct yourself when you're out well what are you going out for

00:01:47.120 what you got a man i can't let my hair down for five minutes it's like why are you fishing if

00:01:52.220 you don't want to fish but who said i was fishing i was having a good time oh so what'd you go out

00:01:57.060 for yourself to have a good time yeah is that no seriously is that a thing now you i mean that's

00:02:02.380 just i'm just telling you guys how men view it like i'm just i'm just being honest like i listen

00:02:06.940 to guys talk all the time like if you're going out all the time it's like but not all the time

00:02:11.180 you can you can say like i i'm i'm not a hoe right but if all your friends are hoes 0.99

00:02:15.780 you're going out to the club all the time it's like you're dressing like a hoe acting like a hoe 1.00

00:02:20.440 it's like how are they supposed to think you're not a hoe 1.00

00:02:23.020 it's like it's like it's same thing with a guy if he if he hangs around a bunch of friends that all

00:02:34.400 cheat if he if he looks like he's cheating if he's acting like he's cheating you're gonna assume

00:02:39.800 he's cheating this is yeah and you'll fall in love because women love being cheated on well then if 1.00

00:02:43.680 you don't trust your partner that is a problem in itself okay it has not it does have a big trust is

00:02:50.240 a big thing a big thing so how does a relationship work without it i mean you yeah but like why would

00:02:56.920 you put yourself in that situation like i just think if you truly respect the guy you're with like

00:03:01.460 you wouldn't want to do anything that would make him look bad and it makes a guy like like as a

00:03:05.240 woman you want to make your man look good like that's your job and so when you're dressing like

00:03:10.080 a hoe taking going out with your hoe friends to the club where they're all hooking up with guys and 1.00

00:03:14.300 you're saying oh they're all doing it but not me i promise i won't flirt with anyone but i'm going 0.75

00:03:17.940 to the one place where we're bound to get hit on it's like you you look bad as a girl and you make 0.93

00:03:23.140 him look bad so we're typically we're talking about girls that have hoe friends and when they go out 0.99

00:03:28.840 not just girls in general we're just talking about the hoes when they go what else are you going to 1.00

00:03:33.380 a club for i just find so yeah i i've literally never heard everybody i guess has different points

00:03:41.180 of views well meaning men have different points of views when it comes to women but that that is

00:03:45.240 very new for me i must say i i think if it's new for you then i always ask myself like what types of

00:03:52.520 men have you have you had like what types of boyfriends that's why i said i've been single for 10

00:03:56.640 years because i don't go out okay so let me i don't do that so are you wait do you like men

00:04:02.600 are you are you are you celibate i'm not celibate but so you haven't been single for 10 years i have

00:04:10.680 been single for 10 years have you had sex in the last 10 years i have that doesn't necessarily mean

00:04:13.680 i was in a relationship okay so so but you see this is the thing that women do so what you was 1.00

00:04:18.840 initially i was thinking oh for 10 years she's out i've been out the game she is you know

00:04:22.400 no you haven't because you've been having sex like so so you've been in the game enough to 0.53

00:04:27.140 have sex but not in the game and not not enough to secure a man a proper relationship so you know 0.97

00:04:31.600 how to have sex this and this is what i said women can have sex any day of the any day of the of the 1.00

00:04:36.400 week and you look to me a little bit funny you've been able in the last 10 years you cannot 0.96

00:04:39.920 you cannot keep a man okay cool wait i can't keep a man because i haven't been in a relationship

00:04:46.280 for 10 years because i've had sex relationships well well yeah it just it just means that the

00:04:50.740 men you want don't want you they're just wanting for sex yeah like that's you guys's understanding 0.65

00:04:54.980 then i'll take it oh no i want to explain okay so put it this way i have dated men and they have

00:05:01.520 not given me or made me feel like i was safe enough to be in a relationship let's just play that for

00:05:06.480 number one number two yes i have had sex that doesn't necessarily mean i have i've had sex with

00:05:11.300 multiple men doesn't necessarily mean that the person that i've had sex with i want to be

00:05:15.780 in a relationship with them that's can that can still be my choice and i can still be okay

00:05:19.540 of course so when i say it's okay for me to be single for 10 years without a relationship i think

00:05:28.460 that's very normal so i'm just you're right it's normal nowadays like nowadays it's not uncommon but

00:05:34.140 it's because modern women are side chicks i'm not a side you was you said that because okay i'm aside 1.00

00:05:39.700 it's it's this is how i'm not i'm not even saying this like to be me it's just this is how

00:05:44.740 relationships start nowadays they start like how many times have you heard of a situation ship

00:05:48.740 so and it seems like you've been in a situation i haven't you okay then what what else would you

00:05:53.780 call sleeping with someone friends with benefits is that not that situation situation okay so and so

00:06:00.240 so if you're in a friends with benefits situation that's uncommitted so what else is he doing your

00:06:06.480 side chick i'm not a side chick i feel like a side chick is when somebody's in a relationship with

00:06:11.040 somebody and then they're doing something with somebody on the side okay no side chick is when

00:06:16.140 you're one of many chicks okay as a man as a man as a man this this thing of where you women have 1.00

00:06:21.660 to believe there has to be a main in order for me to be a side chick it's not it's a it's a crazy

00:06:25.420 phenomenon if you are one of a selection you're a side chick that's it stop thinking that he has to

00:06:30.140 have a main one where he looks after you're just one of many i'm not but i understand i understand

00:06:34.720 what you're saying but i'm not okay okay if you were sleeping with a man and he wasn't your he wasn't

00:06:39.440 your boyfriend he wasn't your husband yeah yeah and you wasn't and he wasn't and he wasn't yes he's

00:06:45.040 single and so were you yeah so therefore you just you was a side doing growing things see see what

00:06:50.600 you're trying to do you're trying to move the goalpost you keep trying to change it now we're

00:06:53.740 doing yes it's grown things but those grown things still amount to you being a side chick and not his

00:06:58.340 main woman and that's your opinion and that's okay and that's okay this is the majority of women in 1.00

00:07:05.440 this day and age i'd say this started from can i ask you over there yeah i'm not saying it's not

00:07:09.480 i'm not saying it's uncommon yeah it's like that's how i mean that's how most relationships start when

00:07:14.260 i ask people like it usually starts as a situation ship most women start as side chicks in in the west 1.00

00:07:20.060 i will say in the west and then a lot of the time they put pressure on the guy to get into a

00:07:23.280 relationship yeah but we can see in case you don't know this is this is a phrase that people say okay

00:07:29.540 um women control sex men control access to relationships so unless you're going to get down on one knee 0.94

00:07:35.120 and give me a gold rolex and ask me to be a husband then what you have to do is you have

00:07:40.040 to fall in your femininity along for me to ask you to be my girlfriend then i'm gonna be like oh my 1.00

00:07:44.340 gosh this girl is better than all the rest of the women i want to lock her down i want to go to the 1.00

00:07:47.340 jewelers and buy a ring and give it to you so this is a process that needs to happen and in order for 0.99

00:07:52.380 this to happen you have to understand that process but the moment you give a guy sex days after that

00:07:56.940 you've given him everything already so there's no there's no need for him to actually make you into his

00:08:01.840 girl or his wife the need to make into his girl or his wife is because you possess something that

00:08:06.040 no other women have if it's just sex and you give it away and you're not a virgin to give it to other 1.00

00:08:10.760 men then we don't consider it as as something special and the problem is a lot if i'm not looking for

00:08:16.360 something what if i'm not looking that's fine that's also fine but i think at some level yeah

00:08:21.660 unless you're saying you don't want to be you don't want a husband you don't then at some level

00:08:25.380 you're going to want something so so a lot of the things you do in the past can affect the guy that

00:08:30.500 you actually meet when he meets you and actually likes you and then he's like okay cool you run

00:08:34.320 through all of these guys it affects us not necessarily i'm talking to someone right now

00:08:38.500 he knows everything that i've done in my past and it's fine no but that's fine but what we're talking

00:08:42.460 about um you know men we like to feel special and in a world today where women are running up body 1.00

00:08:48.040 counts and stuff none of us want to feel like the woman we've chosen it we wasn't her first choice

00:08:52.860 but what if my body counts not her no i'm not i'm not oh you're just speaking no i'm not we're not

00:08:57.520 okay sorry sorry i was a bit confused in this moment i'm not directly aiming at you i'm just

00:09:03.860 saying because you said you were sat in for 10 years i was just like we consider it as something

00:09:08.340 like this i'm not saying that's that's you i don't know your body count i don't want to know

00:09:11.480 your body count i'm just simply trying to say just as a man just listen to it from from from from our

00:09:17.180 point of view if you never heard it like this before just just listen just take it on board a

00:09:21.340 little bit that's all can i ask you a question sorry i don't know you know so you see over the last

00:09:26.120 10 years when you've been in those situationships whatever they were one just one yeah so it's just

00:09:31.780 one in the last one person and how long did it last it lasted four years and at any time during

00:09:37.200 that situation did you want him to be a boyfriend at the start yes and then i didn't want him to be

00:09:42.820 my boyfriend no okay so well two questions firstly what happened at the start that didn't make it

00:09:48.260 become a relationship and secondly why did he not why did you afterwards not want him to be a

00:09:53.020 boyfriend i was in a vulnerable state my mom passed away and i felt like i didn't have anybody

00:09:57.800 so um the person that wanted me i was okay with doing the sexing um i did want him to be my boyfriend

00:10:06.780 at first i felt like that was the direction we was going realized it wasn't understood what i could

00:10:13.040 still get from him and after a while once i was done i'd be both part of our ways okay but if he

00:10:23.440 had wanted to be your boyfriend during that time it would have been a relationship right he asked me

00:10:27.080 to be his girlfriend i told him no when did he ask you to be his girlfriend um a year before i broke

00:10:32.460 everything off okay fair enough but i guess it's almost like when you got what you wanted you didn't

00:10:37.420 wanted anymore um i understood the person that i was sleeping with and i didn't want to be in a

00:10:43.440 relationship with him but i was okay with doing what we was doing from the start okay so you carried

00:10:49.160 on sleeping with him after you realized that there was no yeah i didn't want to sleep around i wanted

00:10:54.440 to stay with the same person okay fine yeah i hear girls say they do that a lot but i guess in terms of

00:11:01.140 the relationship itself or the situation itself i think it still stands that with guys if he'd wanted a

00:11:06.540 relationship at the beginning you would have had a relationship i guess you know the fact that he

00:11:10.360 didn't want a relationship at the beginning might have been why you didn't want it afterwards but it

00:11:13.960 still kind of stays consistent with the point that if a guy wants shows interest that he wants to have

00:11:18.500 a relationship that's really the deciding factor a lot of cases um when it comes to actually having

00:11:23.160 sex it's more the girl that makes that deciding decision so you know i think when we look at someone 0.89

00:11:27.400 who hasn't had a relationship for a certain amount of time we normally work on the basis that that's

00:11:31.500 because the guy didn't want it i feel like he didn't want it and then he did so i don't think i

00:11:36.360 was in my head about it in a way we're like i want to be in a relationship it was very much like

00:11:41.100 i like you you like me this is what we're doing why can't we be and then he explained himself and

00:11:47.260 then i felt a type of way but understood maybe i wasn't ready to be in a relationship after my

00:11:52.340 vulnerable state after going through therapy i understood that this isn't something that i wanted

00:11:57.520 life long term it wasn't something that i wanted to endure have kids marry with him but i knew it was

00:12:03.800 something i needed to stop so i eventually did as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok

00:12:09.340 and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider

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JustPearlyThings - March 29, 2023

She Was Shocked After Learning This About Men

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