JustPearlyThings - March 16, 2023


She was too shocked when she heard this


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

172.41632

Word Count

1,566

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

8

Hate Speech Sentences

7


Summary

In today's episode, we discuss toxic masculinity, toxic men, and how toxic masculinity affects us in all areas of our lives, especially in our relationships. In this episode we discuss how toxic men affect us emotionally, sexually, and emotionally in every facet of our life, and why it is so common for women to discount men.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 what I get that is the hardest thing at times like as women and I've even
00:00:06.060 struggled with this like understanding it's his plan it's not your plan and so
00:00:10.640 if he wants to do it we can do it if not you know yeah I mean like I said you
00:00:16.980 know we had two boys back-to-back and I asked my husband at the time I said do
00:00:21.300 you want to try for a girl do you want three if he had said yes we would have
00:00:25.620 you know I would have been a mom of three but he said no I just think
00:00:29.580 discounting men is is first of all this is a human being that has you know
00:00:35.220 feelings and emotions and you know I just as a mom this is a tough one for me
00:00:39.780 because I see what's out there and you know I want I want everybody to win but
00:00:45.540 you know I do feel very strongly about just completely discounting men just
00:00:50.220 because because if the tables were turned oh I said words to not say
00:00:59.980 anymore okay decided I'm just tired of these words yes it's from the show
00:01:03.420 partner mm-hmm horoscope signs looking for a connection hmm energy trauma toxic
00:01:11.700 masculinity my truth my god healing my narcissistic ex-boyfriend my abusive ex
00:01:17.220 boyfriend a grape accusation with no evidence okay I'm glad you don't don't
00:01:21.900 judge yeah but manifesting equals I do I want to work but I want to do no work
00:01:29.440 and get the outcome as a woman we know what your gender is I did too much and I
00:01:34.260 let him walk all over me equals I like cheaters and toxic men and I will choose
00:01:39.220 them and be toxic as well and not admit that I had any part to play except quote
00:01:44.160 unquote giving too much generational trauma I make the same mistakes that my
00:01:48.920 parents make and I am too dumb to learn from their mistakes and instead I will
00:01:52.440 make the same mistakes but blame it on them in my feminine energy men always
00:01:57.760 stare and approach me I will be submissive for the right man men are trash
00:02:02.340 equals I take no accountability for the negative part that I play or any women play
00:02:07.280 in our relationships he needs to make six figures equals I have no emphasis on
00:02:12.060 character I don't need a man but I want a man my ring needs to cost this much
00:02:16.980 financial abuse I became feminine I need a man to maintain me we need to five I
00:02:23.820 feel like I am traditional when I am single oh my goodness are these quotes
00:02:30.600 from your show yeah just like talking to girls okay almost all of them I
00:02:36.780 understand help me understand since we were just talking about femininity I
00:02:39.960 became feminine because you can improve mm-hmm you know I I understand where
00:02:45.660 you're coming from I may I may walk back this one okay however I find that most of
00:02:50.940 the time when women say it mmm it equals I did no real work I made no real
00:02:55.980 changes but I say I am feminine oh just like poof okay yeah I just I became
00:03:00.720 feminine and then I'll like break it down and I'll be like okay so what what did
00:03:04.320 you do to become mm-hmm or they'll say I was modern and I became traditional so
00:03:08.520 I'll say well what did you do to become those things and they'll have like just
00:03:13.860 word salad yeah no and no real answers like you know if you're gonna say I
00:03:19.080 became what you said was a real answer I worked on lowering my voice yeah I used
00:03:23.080 to do masculine manner those are real answers and that actually clarified that
00:03:29.800 actually clarified you don't have to come getting better this is better this is
00:03:34.960 no I'm getting better it's important to me but yeah I mean I know you actually
00:03:39.460 clarified a lot of things that like I honestly was so confused when I heard it
00:03:45.940 because I just heard so much like fluff and garbage and even like girls that I know
00:03:51.520 that studied femininity and would say I became feminine had no real answers yeah
00:03:59.080 and then they would say oh I became feminine but you're screaming at your
00:04:03.340 your guy Howard how did you become feminine if you're screaming at him right if
00:04:07.720 you have that response then you still have some work to do because if you ask
00:04:12.040 these same women how did you get your cosmetology license oh I had to study this
00:04:17.560 amount I had to take these many classes I had to do these many hours how did
00:04:21.340 you become a dentist how did you pick anything we can walk you through all of
00:04:26.680 the things that we do to get what we want and a goal of you know how you show up
00:04:31.480 in a relationship requires just as much work if not more and it's okay I'm
00:04:37.060 actually kind of proud to say you know I have had to do a lot of work to go from
00:04:41.800 that 50 50 mindset to being more of a support system and I haven't arrived I
00:04:47.920 still have work to do but I've gotten a lot better so mm-hmm so is there any
00:04:53.440 phrases we should add to here that you've heard oh goodness so you had the
00:04:57.520 the trauma and the energy toxic let me know in the chat guys if there's anything
00:05:02.920 we missed that we need to add do we have what manage have you heard that one no
00:05:10.780 oh but I'll add it manage it's basically describing masculine behavior like
00:05:16.780 there's something wrong with it and it's not better or worse we are different we're
00:05:21.460 equally valued but we are not equal and I think that's a beautiful thing I thought
00:05:27.820 of another uh-huh I need like I need there's some phrase that girls use when
00:05:33.760 they won't be led by a guy they're like oh well I need the right man to like I'll
00:05:37.900 be submissive for the right man I will be submissive for the right man mm-hmm
00:05:43.240 because I in a way I understand where they're coming I was gonna say yeah this
00:05:48.340 one I could unpack a little bit too but at the same time that equals I choose right
00:05:55.600 like they put the accountability on them like oh he didn't lead me when it's
00:05:59.800 like you picked him that's true we have to be responsible for our choices I think
00:06:06.540 yes I am submissive by nature if there are men around me like there's even if
00:06:14.480 you're not my man there are some ways that I do submit I don't talk over men I
00:06:19.440 don't try to compete with men I don't brag or lead with my accomplishments
00:06:29.280 because those things are very masculine traits now if you ask me I'm going to
00:06:35.220 respond you ask me a direct question I'll give you a direct answer but there are
00:06:39.420 ways that I submit to my man that I don't to other men but that's the only
00:06:45.780 thing that I wanted to to clarify on that but if you're a submissive person then
00:06:50.040 if you're a submissive woman then you're just a submissive woman you know I think
00:06:53.700 about my mom you know even her son my brother if he said mom no we're gonna get
00:06:59.760 you this you know the doctor said you need to do this so you need to do that
00:07:02.640 that's her son she says okay Phil and so like I see that so it's just
00:07:07.620 realizing like this is a man who loves you and and you know is looking out for you so
00:07:12.480 yeah I don't know I'll be submissive for that right yeah I think you should be
00:07:18.660 submissive in relationship to your man but I think almost you know I just
00:07:27.060 believe in respecting it so what phrases to add to our vocabulary mmm I trust you
00:07:32.760 mmm I support you whatever you say baby mmm thank you I have your back I'm making
00:07:39.660 blank for dinner tonight honey I believe or I think what can I do to help you how
00:07:44.940 can I help what else should we add mmm I'm proud of you do we have I believe in
00:07:52.680 you what are all the things that I say to my man I'm gonna get a little bit
00:07:57.880 vulnerable here I couldn't do this without you I need you I trust you I love you I
00:08:08.980 desire you I miss you I care about you I want you those are great thank you these
00:08:23.680 yeah so we're gonna get rid of these mm-hmm and we're gonna go to this okay what
00:08:34.000 do you think guys oh I'm so glad I'm glad it worked out this way is that a good
00:08:38.260 one oh who hurt you they want to add to this yes Lord who hasn't been hurt good
00:08:43.660 grief everybody's got a story that can make you cry that's true yeah that's true
00:08:48.520 as many of you know I was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a
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