JustPearlyThings - The Audacity of Single Mothers

00:00:00.640 you you three you're single moms right do you feel like it's fair to accept accept monogamy

00:00:06.560 um or to expect monogamy from someone when you've given someone else a child so they're not getting

00:00:11.600 the youth and like the purity that they want i don't remember i don't agree with your beliefs

00:00:18.000 so obviously i'm gonna say no i would say don't pick me in the first place yeah yeah oh i didn't

00:00:23.520 realize you had kids too yeah i have one child oh do you me yeah okay um yeah no okay i think it

00:00:32.880 depends on the guy doesn't it like because if he's like actually to be fair if you said no then fine

00:00:37.760 but i think the higher value a man is the more likely a woman is going to accept that but if

00:00:44.400 he's like just some average if you're gonna accept that you're gonna accept that anyway not because

00:00:48.000 you've got kids not because no i think that's that's what that's why i say no i think if a

00:00:51.920 woman's gonna accept that she's gonna accept that but i think most women do accept it i mean

00:00:56.240 how do i know i'm saying i'm saying like how do how do most relationships start nowadays situationship

00:01:02.080 side chicks like if you're in a situation ship like that's how most relationships start is like talking 0.85

00:01:09.360 okay okay and so i'm saying like like most girls start that's what you're starting as i won't say me

00:01:15.520 talking to someone automatically makes me a psychic i would think okay okay would you say would you say

00:01:21.360 the majority of the time sex comes first or relationships sex definitely comes okay so

00:01:27.680 when when you're having sex with someone you're not exclusive what are you psychic i'm having sex 0.61

00:01:33.360 with someone that i'm seeing yeah but i'm saying like he's also sleeping with other people so likely

00:01:38.560 so i agree with you on that that i think you'll be very delusional to meet a guy today and the first

00:01:42.560 time you've slept with him you think you're the only person he's sleeping with at that moment because

00:01:46.160 you're just you've just come into the picture i don't know if i like you so he as in he's thinking

00:01:51.680 that i don't know if i like you i'm just seeing where this goes and obviously you've allowed me

00:01:55.280 to enter your sexual experience so i'm also going to experience this while i'm here but the sex is not

00:02:00.560 going to determine if i'm going to be with you that's why you're that's why you should be selective

00:02:04.800 before you choose to sleep and have and when you allow him to access yeah but like the point is

00:02:10.160 you still start off as a side chick no aside for me is when there's many chicks 1.00

00:02:22.240 for you to be aside you're gonna have a main right you have a main chick and then you're inside and

00:02:26.240 that's what you can only be that you can never be the main one of his side chicks is the main chick 0.70

00:02:33.120 at one point in time she might not have the title right but he has a favorite he has a number one

00:02:44.880 draft pick i think i think in regards to the question about expecting monogamy when you've had

00:02:50.960 a child i would say universally if a woman hasn't helped me attain my high value status then she 0.99

00:02:58.240 can't expect monogamy from me there is so many it's not even about morals it's just if she hasn't 0.98

00:03:06.240 contributed to me i'm not i don't because you have to remember and i always say this like women are born

00:03:10.880 of value whilst men have to create their value so if i've had to work hard and strive and do what i

00:03:14.960 need to do to attain a certain wealth you're buying into that lifestyle having done nothing so the only

00:03:20.640 thing you can give to me is is probably kids and whatnot and again if i want to give you monogamy i 1.00

00:03:24.560 can but you can't expect it from me because you haven't done anything to to warrant the lifestyle

00:03:29.520 but when when you're 20 and or 21 or whatever and you start building would you want to get into a

00:03:34.720 serious relationship really a lot of men and i said this on the show as well it there's context

00:03:42.320 for guys who are in the late 20s building their foundations or set their foundations they want

00:03:47.600 someone to contribute to their lifestyle it just so happens that women that you're looking for a 1.00

00:03:52.560 guy who's already made obviously if you're going for a guy who's 21 22 23 you should expect a young

00:03:57.360 boy's mentality so i have a question for you go on would you keep that same mindset for a woman who 1.00

00:04:02.960 hasn't helped you contribute hasn't helped contribute oh sorry do you have the same mindset for a lady who 1.00

00:04:09.440 hasn't helped to contribute to get you to where the level you're at now um but she doesn't have a child

00:04:17.600 yeah you have the same mindset yeah yeah he said that in general he's not talking about you

00:04:22.320 having kids because pearly was asking about yeah no no so i said university i mean the point the point

00:04:27.760 is that men like are compromising on their mating strategy but not getting their mating strategy

00:04:32.640 fulfilled in return and what is that so their their mating strategy is they don't want to pass on

00:04:37.840 resources to another man's kid like that's why that's why they're repulsed by hoes that's why they're 1.00

00:04:42.080 repulsed by like other people's children it's like a natural so so women want to lock down and 1.00

00:04:49.120 get commitment from the highest value guy they can where men they want purity and youth and they

00:04:54.160 want to know that the kids are theirs so they get neither and we get what we want so are you in a

00:04:58.640 relationship and anybody that you get with from now are you going to be faithful to i don't i haven't

00:05:03.920 i'm close i hit high value status and so i'm still in the very i'm still very much in my building but

00:05:08.560 you're yeah if i met someone now and i'm able to build to attain that level then you deserve

00:05:14.080 exclusive can i ask you a question go on okay okay the goal was intense but let's say let's let's say

00:05:21.280 you were someone who was willing to date someone who had a child and you're in your growing your

00:05:26.960 building status and she was happy and willing to build with you would you be faithful to her

00:05:34.080 so i've accepted a woman with a kid yeah obviously in the normal circumstances that

00:05:40.080 wouldn't happen anyway but if it did and do you know what let me just say i i think

00:05:45.280 never say never type thing yeah but i think what what what plays into my idea with that is again

00:05:50.000 it's the fact that i'm nigerian and i know that would be even more you know so funny you say that

00:05:54.160 yeah but in in nigeria nigerian men in nigeria accept kids girls with kids more than here 0.99

00:05:59.520 my parents are on smoke okay i know for a fact oh does it come from like a cultural thing so so

00:06:04.720 what i've what from my own experience most mothers wouldn't want yeah so for my experience as a single 0.99

00:06:11.680 mother right i get more smoke here than i get in nigeria really and i think and i think a big part of

00:06:17.680 that a big part of that is because back back in nigeria uh a man who who took on another woman's

00:06:25.600 child that wasn't his he gets a lot of honor and respect for that whereas that doesn't happen

00:06:31.120 yeah yeah probably like back in the day it used to happen but because it's almost like oh wow he's

00:06:36.000 the man who not only is he supplying for his own kids but for someone else's there came a lot of

00:06:40.720 respect for that so i think it was more regarded in high regard but it's not regarded like that today

00:06:45.120 like in nigeria you can say that i'll be like oh i've got kids the only thing daily joke that they

00:06:48.880 make in nigeria is like you know you london kids like london girls like to have kids quickly 0.98

00:06:52.640 that is it yeah but they don't they don't say like oh you're less of a woman but they even find

00:06:58.880 women with kids a lot more serious is that it's literally the total opposite i think that is that 1.00

00:07:05.040 very that's modern i don't think that's no my mum and aunties and stuff yeah it's not

00:07:10.560 oh yeah it's not a traditional thing yeah yeah it's not a traditional thing yeah yeah yeah so yeah

00:07:15.280 that's still frowned upon like my mum will very much say a lot of the responsibility if the if the 0.97

00:07:19.680 family doesn't go well a lot of the responsibility falls on the woman like it's the woman's fault if 0.88

00:07:23.600 anything goes wrong what if the marriage didn't work my mum would say if one of the reasons she's 1.00

00:07:28.560 scared that anything would happen in the marriage obviously everything is good but if it was she would

00:07:32.560 say the problem falls on the woman that's very still very much so the case like obviously modern

00:07:37.600 day women now you know so mad i i agree with you i i as much as is is um a hard pill to swallow

00:07:45.520 the majority of the marriages that don't last is because of the woman not like she was the problem 1.00

00:07:51.840 but she just wasn't willing to shoulder the blame no she was just not willing to continue

00:07:57.840 because like if if if i was to sit here and start dissecting my marriage you'd be like but you could

00:08:03.200 have worked it through it do you know i mean like yeah yeah but and this is why i say that if someone

00:08:09.600 if you if you one of the issues or the mistakes i made i didn't date a bad boy i'm not interested in

00:08:16.400 bad boys i wasn't it wasn't a thing for me i i dated the quite i was married to a quiet guy

00:08:21.360 but what i didn't pay attention to and that was lack of knowledge is attributes mannerisms how you're

00:08:28.160 raised family values all of that those were my problems it wasn't oh he was cheating or um you know he

00:08:35.680 he he was we just did it i was just fed up it was that our values didn't work together so that's why

00:08:42.640 it's my fault because you could turn around and say that why didn't you pick up those things but i

00:08:46.880 wasn't wise enough to pick up on those things can i can i ask did you leave sorry yes you you left

00:08:53.200 sorry yeah okay first yeah would you ever get back with him no and you know it's so mad yeah you remember

00:08:59.440 the last time we came you said i don't uh you don't remember i do so many shows okay so in a

00:09:05.600 figure of speech but when the last time we came you said that um part of a marriage um as a woman you're

00:09:10.960 meant to for your kids you're meant to stay in a marriage but i remember i said it i said the main

00:09:15.200 reason why i left was because of my kids because when you look at my kids now they're a lot calmer the

00:09:20.880 teachers don't complain about them when i was the teachers used to complain a lot about my children's

00:09:25.840 behavior just them being unsettled just being but as soon as i facilitated structure they're fine

00:09:33.040 was that because you and your your husband was showing the troubles in your relationship to your

00:09:36.880 this was even after we broke up and he had access to the kids okay as soon as that access was no longer

00:09:42.800 there they were a lot more settled i but don't get me wrong i i am so scared raising my boys because

00:09:50.320 i'm a woman do you know what i mean so like even little things like when my son comes upstairs

00:09:56.400 and he's crying even though i want to hug him because i don't want to make the mistakes i

00:10:01.520 believe some parents have made on their sons i have to be stern do you know what i mean and i i

00:10:06.560 get scared that am i confusing this boy that he needs a woman is meant to be aggressive i respect that 0.98

00:10:12.080 because that's a difficult situation do you get what i'm saying it's like how do you teach him because

00:10:17.280 a lot of women don't even take that into account a lot of women just they do the the motherly thing 1.00

00:10:21.600 which is just like yeah i can't as well because when i have a second question would you take him

00:10:28.160 back if there was no other men on the planet no i'll be on my own i've started to even though i

00:10:35.200 don't like it and i'm praying to god it doesn't happen but i'm starting to have that 10 percent that

00:10:40.720 you may be on your own for a long time um do you think you'll have 2.5 million saved up to retire

00:10:46.240 i think by the time you're 60 yes if if that's what i wanted i will have what i want okay i bet

00:10:52.400 yeah i i one thing about me and anyone will tell you is i work hard i'm i am a grinder well women like 1.00

00:10:59.840 like because the thing is you're you're probably in a small percentage of women that make that amount 0.99

00:11:06.080 of money but a lot of women will be homeless in that position yeah and i don't think they're 1.00

00:11:10.480 really educated about that because i mean i know there's like government benefits here but

00:11:14.800 you don't know tomorrow they could take them away yeah and you don't be relying on that can i ask a

00:11:19.840 question to the ladies as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on 0.99

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JustPearlyThings - May 27, 2023

The Audacity of Single Mothers

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