JustPearlyThings - June 24, 2023


The Biggest CHALLENGE In DATING In 2023


Episode Stats

Length

15 minutes

Words per Minute

188.37662

Word Count

2,901

Sentence Count

264

Misogynist Sentences

22

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

In this episode, we talk about what we have found to be the biggest challenge in dating in 2023, and how to deal with it. We also talk about the top 3 things women lie about to each other, and why it s a red flag.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 What is the biggest challenge you guys have found in dating in 2023?
00:00:08.140 I'll go first.
00:00:10.260 I would just say general lack of integrity and a lack of honesty.
00:00:16.220 I think that's a big problem nowadays.
00:00:18.760 Everybody is just lying.
00:00:21.920 Everybody's like flex culture.
00:00:24.460 Everybody's lying about how good they are, how pure they are, how much money they make.
00:00:28.940 Like, I mean, you girls were saying it earlier.
00:00:31.460 Like, you know, the guys that try to show off on the first date.
00:00:33.720 When the backbone of relationships is trust.
00:00:37.340 And the number one thing that destroys trust is lies and dishonesty.
00:00:41.160 Like the more you lie, the more you're just going to set yourself up for guaranteed failure.
00:00:46.660 Like I just, when you meet somebody, you start dating them and they lie at the beginning.
00:00:50.780 And then you find out the truth of these lies later.
00:00:53.940 Like all it does is build resentment.
00:00:56.020 And you feel like duped.
00:00:57.580 You feel called.
00:00:58.060 You've been bamboozled.
00:00:58.600 Yeah, you've been caught.
00:00:59.820 Bamboozled.
00:01:00.100 Bamboozled.
00:01:00.560 Tricked.
00:01:01.500 You know?
00:01:02.100 So I just think integrity is huge.
00:01:05.180 Integrity and honesty, which I think, you know, just nowadays is fleeting.
00:01:10.260 What is the top three things women lie about to you?
00:01:16.200 Definitely body count.
00:01:17.420 Oh, for sure.
00:01:19.680 Definitely body count.
00:01:21.200 Body count.
00:01:21.800 Um, not being over an ex.
00:01:25.660 Oh, okay.
00:01:26.280 You know?
00:01:27.260 When that guy just casually comes up in conversation, like, what are we doing here?
00:01:30.180 Why are we talking about this person?
00:01:33.200 And then...
00:01:34.480 We never do that.
00:01:35.820 No.
00:01:37.220 So, okay, okay.
00:01:38.060 And then I just think, uh, intentions.
00:01:42.180 You know what I mean?
00:01:42.660 Okay.
00:01:43.080 Like, what do you really like me for?
00:01:44.920 So, body count?
00:01:46.460 Body count?
00:01:47.620 Being over an ex.
00:01:48.980 Being over an ex.
00:01:50.260 Intentions.
00:01:50.660 So I'm curious.
00:01:51.180 Intentions.
00:01:51.640 Girls, raise your hand.
00:01:52.760 Have you ever lied about your body count?
00:01:55.160 No?
00:01:55.760 Never?
00:01:56.240 Have you ever been asked from a guy?
00:01:57.880 Yeah.
00:01:58.100 Yeah, and you've always told the truth.
00:02:00.980 Okay.
00:02:02.560 So we got a lot of liars.
00:02:05.940 I would never even ask for a good body count.
00:02:08.500 Second, second question.
00:02:10.040 I just don't think you're, you know, obligated to answer the question.
00:02:13.460 I mean, you know, if somebody asks you a personal question, you don't have to answer it.
00:02:17.060 You know?
00:02:17.540 Yeah, but I think if you want to get married...
00:02:19.200 That's going to look like a red flag.
00:02:20.980 I think if you want to get married, you should...
00:02:22.800 Even if you want to get married.
00:02:23.520 I mean, even in some religions, you know, it says that, you know, you don't have to disclose
00:02:27.980 that information or anything.
00:02:29.440 In fact, that's to do with anything you have done previously that involves...
00:02:33.700 What religions say that?
00:02:36.140 Islam.
00:02:37.500 Does it?
00:02:38.060 Yeah.
00:02:38.500 You're not obligated to tell your partner, future partner, how many...
00:02:42.420 If you have slept with anyone or how many or anything like that.
00:02:46.480 Wow.
00:02:46.880 Which is crazy.
00:02:47.520 It's very interesting.
00:02:48.400 You should look up the facts.
00:02:50.080 Yeah, I know.
00:02:50.540 I've never heard of that.
00:02:51.660 Yeah, yeah.
00:02:51.980 It's crazy.
00:02:52.480 But I know of Muslims, you're not supposed to be sleeping with anyone before you're married.
00:02:55.840 That's a fact, yeah.
00:02:58.140 But you're also, if you have happened, you happen to have done something before, you're
00:03:03.840 not obligated to tell anyone.
00:03:05.520 So, I'm confused because you said you'd never lied about it.
00:03:08.440 Do you just not answer if they ask you?
00:03:10.740 I mean, any personal question that you ask me, I don't have to answer.
00:03:14.720 I have answered that question previously, yes, to people.
00:03:18.600 But yeah, you just, I don't think you should be, should feel, you know, on edge to answer
00:03:22.920 people's questions.
00:03:24.020 Yeah.
00:03:24.560 That's all.
00:03:24.960 What, from the girls, do you think, like, if a guy asks you that, are you okay answering?
00:03:29.160 You don't care?
00:03:30.180 Raise your hand if you think it's okay.
00:03:31.680 Like, for him to ask that, if she's okay.
00:03:33.440 I don't, I don't think it's okay, but I feel like I'll just have to answer.
00:03:36.300 Okay, if I don't answer, he'll be like, why are you not answering?
00:03:39.180 They're just going to assume it's high if you don't answer.
00:03:40.900 Yeah, like, he'll think it's a million, so I just might as well just answer.
00:03:43.820 But I hate the question.
00:03:45.080 On a first date, anyway.
00:03:46.680 Like, if I know you.
00:03:47.000 If I ask it on a first date?
00:03:48.360 That's my core.
00:03:48.920 Men will ask you when they're texting you.
00:03:50.460 They don't even know you.
00:03:51.540 Like, they'll just ask you on text.
00:03:53.300 Do you know why that is?
00:03:54.760 Why?
00:03:55.220 There's just so many hoes out there lying that they're fucking jaded.
00:03:58.660 That's a big part of it.
00:03:59.660 Jaded?
00:04:00.340 Yeah, jaded as in, like, you know, they're just, they have a lot of bad experiences about
00:04:05.360 being lied to about that stuff.
00:04:06.860 Because that's a big thing.
00:04:07.680 A lot of guys, men value sexual purity above a majority of things in a relationship, right?
00:04:16.020 And if you're going to lie about that, it's just like, we're just not, it's not okay.
00:04:21.580 Yeah, but like.
00:04:22.240 That's why, like, virgin brides are, like, celebrated across all cultures, all religions, over all time periods.
00:04:29.900 Okay.
00:04:31.420 Would you want a virgin?
00:04:32.640 Would you want to be with a girl that's a virgin?
00:04:34.180 Yes.
00:04:34.420 Yeah.
00:04:34.680 I mean, if she was, if I met a girl and I liked her and she was like, I'm a virgin, I'm not
00:04:40.040 going to be like, all right, bitch, get out of here.
00:04:41.840 Like.
00:04:42.440 It's not a tunnel.
00:04:43.920 No, it's not.
00:04:44.500 It's not a tunnel.
00:04:45.020 I don't know.
00:04:45.620 I just think, in my opinion, I think there's so much more to relationships than sex.
00:04:49.220 Like, literally, like, if I decided to go celibate right now, I wouldn't go any type
00:04:53.280 of way.
00:04:53.620 So I don't think how many people someone slept with.
00:04:55.760 For women.
00:04:56.860 For women.
00:04:57.880 Yeah, but.
00:04:58.440 For men are different.
00:04:59.900 If you told a guy, oh, you get a wife.
00:05:01.420 They tell themselves that they're different.
00:05:02.200 If you tell a guy, you get a wife, but no sex.
00:05:06.040 No guy is going to sign up for that.
00:05:07.600 Yeah, we are different.
00:05:09.580 I think you tell yourself you're different, but I think it's literally just about self-control.
00:05:14.740 Yeah, and just learning how to just control yourself and just not be a dog.
00:05:18.940 Like, you can't just say, oh, men are different.
00:05:22.760 That's why I'm allowed to sleep with 100 people, but I want a virgin.
00:05:25.060 You can't say that.
00:05:25.540 I mean, I never said, like, anyone's allowed to do anything, but, you know, I mean, people
00:05:30.220 can do whatever they want, but the part I'm trying to make is, like, we are definitely
00:05:33.380 different.
00:05:34.900 From what I've read, it seems like testosterone is a primary hormone that determines one's
00:05:39.580 libido.
00:05:40.220 So men have that a lot more.
00:05:41.960 So that would make sense that our libido generally is a lot higher.
00:05:44.800 And I'm not saying this is exhaustive for all men and women.
00:05:46.800 I'm just saying generally men have a higher libido and therefore a higher sex drive.
00:05:50.340 So that difference is a fact.
00:05:52.940 Well, and it's not about what they can and can't do.
00:05:55.760 Like, a lot of times people try to make this, like, men can sleep with a lot of people and
00:05:59.040 women can as a moral argument, but it's just how it's always been throughout all of history.
00:06:03.200 Women have typically been virgins, and if they were not virgins, they were concubines.
00:06:07.840 And the men would get multiple women, or at least the top men anyway, like the top, like
00:06:13.140 15% of men.
00:06:14.000 Most men were monogamous in history, but the top men just had a lot of women.
00:06:19.240 Yeah, I think being societally allowed to do something as well doesn't necessarily mean
00:06:23.120 a lot of guys can.
00:06:24.440 Just because you're societally allowed to, that doesn't mean your status, you know, a bunch
00:06:28.840 of other things allow you to actually get that result.
00:06:31.680 I was looking for, gosh, I'm trying to find this study where it talks about, like, what
00:06:38.960 percent of men will ask a girl their body count.
00:06:42.440 I would never ask.
00:06:43.980 No, it's higher than you think.
00:06:46.380 Yeah, I would never ask, because I just don't think you're going to get the right answer.
00:06:49.420 Just, like, watch, you know, because then you can actually see.
00:06:51.820 You know, I would never, I'd rather, like, watch paint dry on a wall than ask.
00:06:54.780 I think asking, it's just, it's just not going to be worth it, bros.
00:06:58.940 Because you know you're not necessarily going to get the truth.
00:07:01.980 Exactly.
00:07:02.300 You're going to get some kind of weird amalgamation of the truth and a lie.
00:07:06.360 Well, very well said.
00:07:07.500 I can't find it, but it's roughly, like, 50% of men will ask in the first, like, three
00:07:14.780 months, basically.
00:07:16.060 Like, yeah, 50%.
00:07:17.200 And it's, like, over, like, it's seven to ten or something.
00:07:22.640 Roughly most men will disqualify you if you've slept with more than that.
00:07:26.220 Facts.
00:07:26.580 Yeah.
00:07:27.040 Yeah.
00:07:27.480 Because it's just, like, it just, it's not that, it's just, the high body count is usually
00:07:33.900 a symptom of something else that's not conducive to a long-term relationship.
00:07:39.640 That's the big thing.
00:07:40.680 It's, like, the decision-making factors that have led her to be, like, you know, in her
00:07:45.300 20s with, like, 30, 40 bodies.
00:07:47.660 You're just, like, okay.
00:07:50.520 What happened?
00:07:51.740 What do you guys, what do you guys think the average body count is for a 30-year-old single
00:07:56.640 woman?
00:07:57.180 Because the average age of first marriage in the UK is 31.
00:08:00.280 So let's just say he meets her at 30.
00:08:01.880 What's the average body count of a 30-year-old?
00:08:04.600 I think that's difficult to say because, like, obviously you work in a particular industry
00:08:09.220 and your lifestyle is a particular way, so you're going to be influenced by what's around
00:08:12.320 you.
00:08:12.940 I mean, there are definitely women on all sorts of spectrums.
00:08:15.840 In terms of numbers, like, I would say definitely higher than in the past.
00:08:22.360 Yeah.
00:08:23.060 It's a given.
00:08:24.580 That's a really tough one.
00:08:25.640 I mean, it could be a broad range.
00:08:27.120 I'd say maybe, like, 40 to 60.
00:08:30.220 And that's, like, I guess, like, being kind of polite, especially because of how accessible
00:08:34.280 it is.
00:08:34.680 It's like...
00:08:35.500 The average body count, according to data, is four to eight.
00:08:38.760 Who believes that?
00:08:39.900 Yeah, that's...
00:08:40.500 That's cap in.
00:08:41.220 That's cap.
00:08:42.320 That is cap.
00:08:43.600 Cap in.
00:08:44.420 So bad.
00:08:45.200 That's cap.
00:08:45.780 Jesus Christ.
00:08:46.320 Does anyone here believe that?
00:08:48.820 This is why you don't ask for their body counts.
00:08:50.780 Maybe if they're nuns or they're in a church or they're really religious, maybe, but as
00:08:57.660 far as average ladies go, I don't think so.
00:09:00.160 Not unless they really are down with Jesus Christ.
00:09:03.300 Do you think that's because we're in London, though?
00:09:05.380 Oh, sorry.
00:09:05.880 Because it might be a bit different if you're in the countryside a little bit more.
00:09:11.860 I agree.
00:09:12.360 I think it'd be higher if it's in a countryside because there's nothing for them cats to do
00:09:15.560 out there.
00:09:16.020 Really?
00:09:16.220 I think it's the opposite.
00:09:20.760 All the good girls I've met, they all live like in the fucking sticks.
00:09:24.620 Oh, you need to watch Emmerdale.
00:09:26.560 I think it's like the city is like, I don't know, modern cities are just like giant hookup
00:09:32.320 culture centers.
00:09:33.540 Yeah.
00:09:33.940 You know?
00:09:34.420 Nobody comes to the city and is like, I'm ready to be a good girl in the city.
00:09:38.020 Girls don't like go to Miami.
00:09:39.800 Like, I'm really ready to find a good church down there.
00:09:44.060 You know?
00:09:44.660 And I think, you know, I think it is an important question for guys because it's like, that's
00:09:50.360 a slang now.
00:09:51.280 Everybody, you say, what is body count?
00:09:53.100 Like, I was explaining body count to my mom.
00:09:54.860 She's like, have these people killed people?
00:09:57.420 She's like, why would somebody talk about a body count like that?
00:10:00.900 I was like, no, mom, actually.
00:10:02.620 It's this part of the culture.
00:10:03.860 But I think, yeah, I mean, for guys, I've been all over the world.
00:10:08.420 I've been to Africa.
00:10:09.140 I've been all over Asia.
00:10:09.900 I've been to South America, you know, Canada, North America, Europe.
00:10:13.400 And it seems across the board that guys do value a woman with a lower body count versus
00:10:20.840 a higher body count.
00:10:22.840 And I just think, I think more guys are concerned with it, but they, I think they either kind
00:10:27.680 of give up, like the gentleman over here said, like, they're just like, ah, they're going
00:10:32.200 to lie, so fuck it.
00:10:33.140 But I think, like, certain other guys, they just want to know the truth.
00:10:37.100 For me, I just want to know what I'm getting into.
00:10:39.220 That's, I met a girl one time, and she was like, yeah, I went on, like, I had a whole phase
00:10:43.340 on the first date, she told me.
00:10:45.360 And I was just like, yeah, I really respected her for telling me that.
00:10:49.220 Then we had sex on the first date.
00:10:53.620 What about you guys?
00:10:54.680 What do you think the average body count is for a 30-year-old woman?
00:10:57.440 In the AK?
00:10:59.140 Just here, London.
00:11:00.420 In London.
00:11:00.860 Um, no clue, to be honest, because I don't, I mean, um, okay, let's, let me just, you're
00:11:07.000 friends, don't you?
00:11:08.340 Yeah, but my friends are kind of married, and, you know, they got married very early on,
00:11:14.520 um, so, yeah, um, I'm just going to pick a number, I'm just going to say 15.
00:11:19.340 15?
00:11:19.820 Yeah.
00:11:20.160 Okay, what do you think?
00:11:21.740 Like, four, five?
00:11:23.700 Four or five?
00:11:24.420 Yeah.
00:11:24.900 Okay.
00:11:25.560 By the time they're 30?
00:11:27.320 Oh, like, six, seven, I don't know.
00:11:30.080 You know, you know how many years 30 years is?
00:11:33.500 Yeah, but, like, I don't know, like, let's say now you lose your virginity when you're,
00:11:37.540 like, 16, that's one person, and then when you're 18, and then you're in a relationship
00:11:44.100 with that person, so you're 22, and then you meet another person.
00:11:47.180 Like, it's normal.
00:11:48.220 It's normal, like, I think, like, six, seven.
00:11:51.720 I mean, yeah, I guess it depends on the kind of, kind of,
00:11:54.500 It depends on the kind of person that you are, really, but.
00:11:57.060 Are they saying 45, 120 in the chat?
00:12:01.060 That's probably more accurate than, yeah.
00:12:02.740 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:03.440 She was scared to say 50.
00:12:05.120 That's what I'm saying.
00:12:05.960 Yeah.
00:12:07.040 All right, what do you think?
00:12:08.820 Me?
00:12:09.300 Yeah, how many?
00:12:10.480 Um, blood clots?
00:12:12.740 Okay, so, if they are starting from the age of 16, legal age, I'm saying, well, if we're
00:12:21.700 talking about in today's climate, it could, it's possible that it could be more than 20,
00:12:26.580 because you've got, you know, the dating apps, you know, all these clubs, you know, the fact
00:12:32.120 that society is actually making it more normal for women to be liberated and empowered by
00:12:38.940 sleeping with people, so, um, it could be anything 20 plus.
00:12:44.040 20 plus?
00:12:45.060 Yeah.
00:12:45.540 So, 25?
00:12:47.420 Oof.
00:12:48.060 30?
00:12:48.700 Oh, it's not something like that, yeah.
00:12:51.460 Okay, all right, what do you think?
00:12:53.840 Uh, I would say definitely 20 plus.
00:12:56.580 If she's been sick.
00:12:57.220 Give me, give me a number that you think it's at.
00:13:00.280 Hmm.
00:13:02.380 Let's see.
00:13:05.000 25?
00:13:05.720 25.
00:13:06.460 25.
00:13:07.080 They did a study with mattresses that were like, it was an indirect study that they like
00:13:10.960 figured out body count that way, and they said it like from 28, 29, 30, it's like, according
00:13:16.960 to this mattress study, it was like 40 to 50.
00:13:20.940 Wait, how do they, how?
00:13:22.560 Uh, it was something to do with, like, something about the mattress and, like, DNA left of the
00:13:29.720 mattress and wear and tear.
00:13:30.900 No, that's so crazy.
00:13:32.340 Or, like, and buying new mattresses and the reasons why.
00:13:35.440 And, yeah, you should check it out, check out the, with the mattress study.
00:13:39.560 The mat, I might.
00:13:42.100 What about you?
00:13:42.520 What do you think it is?
00:13:43.240 Around about the 10 mark, based on, um, you saying earlier, men sort of, their cutoff
00:13:55.120 points about 10.
00:13:56.740 Okay.
00:13:57.080 So, and I'm gonna assume that these men are just very average, normal thinking men, so.
00:14:07.580 No, it's just for women.
00:14:08.660 For women.
00:14:09.380 Yeah, so if it's, if, yeah, 10, 10-ish.
00:14:12.980 Because if a man at 30 is going, my cutoff point for a woman is 10, I think that man tried
00:14:21.820 to be open.
00:14:26.180 So you can get a man that's like, oh, I don't want anyone, um, that slept with even one person.
00:14:33.960 That's a smaller group of men.
00:14:37.880 And then the other way is, well, the men that, I don't mind what number it is.
00:14:42.100 It could be 40, 50.
00:14:43.120 It doesn't make a difference.
00:14:44.460 And that's the other extreme.
00:14:45.340 But I think if the average man is saying about 10, and that's their mark, then I think women,
00:14:52.620 for me anyway, is about the 10 mark.
00:14:54.800 I would say, by and large, like, women don't necessarily prioritize what a man wants out of
00:14:59.460 a long-term relationship.
00:15:00.720 Women will sit around exclusively despite men.
00:15:03.420 And nowadays, just because a man says they don't want to do that.
00:15:06.060 Yeah, they'll F his best friend, right?
00:15:08.040 It's like in song lyrics.
00:15:09.460 Yeah.
00:15:10.080 Yeah.
00:15:10.460 And then, like, when you have, like, Instagram and stuff, like, kind of forcing girls to,
00:15:14.580 like, sexualize themselves for more likes and more views and stuff like that.
00:15:18.380 It's everywhere.
00:15:19.180 Like, we live in the most hyper-sexualized time humans have ever had.