JustPearlyThings - June 24, 2023


The HARSH Reality About DATING


Episode Stats

Length

17 minutes

Words per Minute

190.53578

Word Count

3,299

Sentence Count

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 what is your ideal first date oh we start with me yeah okay cool you did get this seat today
00:00:08.840 this is the starting seat no i know uh i would say something kind of outdoors definitely multiple
00:00:15.880 locations not necessarily eating involved i don't think people or humans in general look particularly
00:00:21.620 um attractive when eating but um yeah something outdoors um i love a good roof terrace you know
00:00:27.720 i like to see like a skyline you know you got a lit one by the way um yeah so yeah something like that
00:00:34.440 um maybe somewhere in the woods something like that something to do with nature um and yeah an
00:00:39.780 activity that actually allows you to you know bond with a person and what could a girl do on this
00:00:44.800 date that would make you not want a second date uh i mean if she's just on your phone too much i mean
00:00:51.020 almost on your phone at all like unless it's like a massive emergency i think the most important
00:00:56.140 person is like the person right in front of you you should pay attention to them um you know
00:01:00.540 especially in a date scenario where you're literally vetting for this person whether you know you find
00:01:05.280 them really attractive or arousing or what kind of long-term or short-term interaction you want to
00:01:10.680 have with them in future i think it's important to be present in that vetting process what about you
00:01:15.860 ideal first date the beach okay like the beach sunset ocean like a little picnic blanket
00:01:22.960 yeah yeah yeah the beach i really like i know i know you're in a relationship now but if you were
00:01:28.360 dating again what would be something a guy could do on a date that would make you not want to speak
00:01:32.720 to him again um trying to act like you know when a guy tries to act like he's the man but it's like
00:01:40.300 he's proper really trying to let me know like yeah i have money yeah i have this so being super like
00:01:45.620 cocky like in your face about and most of the time when i like that they don't actually have what
00:01:50.220 they're saying they have like yeah yeah so it just it just gives me the ick like i don't like it even
00:01:55.000 if you do have money um i feel like that's not the reason why i'm there right now like i just want to
00:02:00.080 kind of know you yeah what's something a guy could say like what what would he say like he would mention
00:02:05.720 his car or like what what's an example just for the guys watching like what not to do on a date
00:02:10.360 okay for example um so this isn't a guy that i was dating or anything but we're just talking
00:02:14.800 um i work in a nightclub so he was like trying to like talk to me like that um and then yeah he
00:02:20.060 was just telling me with every single conversation if we're talking about houses he'd be like yeah
00:02:23.460 yeah my parents have three houses but obviously i don't really care about money or like we'll be
00:02:28.140 talking and he'll be like yeah like i have about 10 watches but i don't care like yes you do care
00:02:32.660 oh so he kept bringing up the money every single little thing he'll find the way to i know what you
00:02:38.440 mean it's like awkward it's so weird you know it's a crazy thing for me when guys bring up
00:02:42.780 height when like i won't bring it up i'm like well i hate girls that are shorter than me like i just
00:02:47.920 like i mean i hate girls that are taller than me they'll just really make it a point how tall they
00:02:51.660 are but i just i don't like no it's funny it's like because i don't usually bring it up but if
00:02:55.220 i'm taller than a guy even if it's but like because if it's a little bit i don't really care
00:02:58.680 but it's like i'm like why are you bringing this up like how tall are you i'm six foot i'm pretty tall
00:03:04.220 yeah yeah i'm very tall uh so what about you ideal first date ideal first date i think um i don't i'm not
00:03:12.400 really into like dinners or anything fancy or anything like that i think the best dates that
00:03:18.260 i have been on involved doing something that is going to help so like i don't know let's say um
00:03:24.780 there's not really much time i live in brighton um a lot of the guys that i date are from london
00:03:29.240 um so if we get a chance to kind of meet it's normally on i'm quite a busy person and that sometimes
00:03:36.340 are quite busy as well so if we get to meet it's normally when they have to go and pick something up
00:03:40.880 from somewhere like help the family or you know so when i if i can actually see the guy in his like
00:03:47.800 natural environment as well i could literally consider that a date or even go into like ikea
00:03:52.720 or something you know or going to do your ideal first date is ikea i think do you know what i could
00:03:58.880 actually say that because i was i've asked a lot of people would you be up for going to ikea at night
00:04:04.780 you know um kind of quirky but yeah so why do you date guys from london if you're because
00:04:10.820 brighton's like two hours from here isn't it an hour and a half hour that's pretty far like why
00:04:15.700 is there something wrong with the guys in brighton no not really i just i tend to i don't know i just
00:04:22.100 tend to date guys that are from it just happens they're just from london you know i'm just wondering
00:04:26.660 like what makes them better than the guys in brighton there's there's nothing okay you can't
00:04:31.940 really like say that so what happens is for some reason let's say if i'm on a dating app
00:04:37.500 most guys are from london that that's all that's all that happens and i have dated people from
00:04:42.980 brighton before it's just you know it's just a majority out from london that's all okay and
00:04:47.520 ick on a first date what would give you the ick the ick yeah like something that could be a big
00:04:52.140 just for the guys watching um i would say don't bring up other women um that's one um or in general
00:05:01.120 i'm quite um attracted to intelligence so if somebody's low-key stupid that really just ruins
00:05:07.100 everything yeah okay what about you um well at this point in my life um it's not so much about the
00:05:17.160 activity it's more about the connection so we could be doing anything we could be out
00:05:21.820 at a meal or having an intimate like date where i cook or she cooks or whatever it's more about
00:05:29.100 just the connection so as long as we're genuinely engaged and laughing and just having a good time
00:05:37.020 then it's a good date pretty much you know what i'm saying okay so where where would you take her
00:05:42.380 give me an example of where you could do that well
00:05:45.020 um something like ice skating or something like golf mini golf there's tons of places like in london
00:05:54.300 for stuff like that but generally anywhere where we can have a good conversation and actually get
00:05:58.780 to know each other it can pretty much happen anywhere but um yeah mini golf um ice skating a good dinner
00:06:08.060 something like that and the ick guys don't really get the ick but but like what a turn off anyways
00:06:16.060 being into not exactly having any thoughts of her own and being to and everything she does being dictated to her
00:06:24.940 by her friends or social media that's just a high return off for me like what's something a girl
00:06:30.060 could say to you that indicates that she's just controlled by social media uh what do i bring to the
00:06:36.620 table that's a good one and then what do you say you just say check please
00:06:44.780 is that common have girls said that to you often on a date um well because um i'm pretty much
00:06:54.220 traditional so i'm used to paying for everything and whatnot but um i have been in situations where
00:07:00.140 somebody thought i wasn't being engaging at the time and um
00:07:06.940 um that's because i'm i'm more i tend to be more gentlemen like what reserved in certain situations
00:07:16.140 um that's not necessarily a turn off but i do realize that different people expect different
00:07:22.300 things and whatnot in relationships and stuff so in a way it's almost bad for me to say that um someone
00:07:28.060 being into social media may be um a turn off for me and stuff like that because everybody's different but
00:07:35.740 social media and all that stuff is definitely a turn off okay mld ideal first date and what's a
00:07:43.260 turn off something that's low effort like something like a coffee or like a couple of drinks at a lounge
00:07:52.540 that way if i like smell crazy i can get out quickly like 45 minutes to an hour uh if she starts
00:07:59.340 talking about her ex in any way on the first date i'm just like i'm mentally checked out and i'm like
00:08:05.020 already strategizing how to get the hell out of there is that common you'd be surprised you'd be
00:08:10.140 surprised oh he's nodding too is that from the guy's comment how often do girls talk about exes
00:08:14.940 on a first date too much really yeah i would agree i mean yeah same same as you bro i would just like
00:08:20.860 check out be like yeah it's not gonna happen i've never had that but okay how how do they bring it up
00:08:27.020 they'll just they'll just bring it up yeah i feel like i'm one of them girls
00:08:34.140 no they like some of these girls like you sit down you're like ready to have a good time she's like
00:08:37.660 you know my ex used to like be addicted to x y z and be like oh okay i know now i know why you're single
00:08:45.980 like so now anytime they start when when the date starts to turn into a therapy session yeah i start
00:08:54.220 drinking and i mentally check out and i look for an exit as soon as possible yeah i mean i wouldn't
00:08:59.340 say it happens like pretty much all the time but 20 20 yeah i would say that more often than you think
00:09:06.060 yeah i wouldn't say like half but it's just like every so often it will happen and you're like okay
00:09:10.060 cool i know what this is yeah uh what about you ideal first date and what could a guy do to give
00:09:16.940 you the ick uh i like something a bit more low-key like a walk around the park with a coffee nice chat
00:09:24.540 um and something that would give me the ick is if he
00:09:35.980 behaved in a way where i'd feel slightly embarrassed like a behavior like trying to put someone else down
00:09:45.100 to make yourself feel better or to look better that kind of makes me feel a bit like i want to get
00:09:49.900 out of here i don't want to be here anymore mean to the staff rude to the staff yeah stuff like that
00:09:55.340 it's not nice so the people that you guys go on dates with where do you typically meet them
00:10:02.060 um i thought you could start horditch i'm in shoreditch
00:10:11.900 i went there last night i understand that reference i get that reference my tongue slipped um
00:10:17.740 yeah i mean i guess i'm dating apps you know it's kind of like sales always sourcing uh and you know
00:10:23.820 i'm in in like music and entertainment so you're just always around people a lot so yeah just from being
00:10:28.460 out i guess well what would you say is the number one place what is is it dating apps mutual friends or shortage
00:10:37.580 well that's a tough question well do you know what i mean i think dating apps pretty long um
00:10:44.060 um i would say probably sure
00:10:48.620 wow i should hang out there more well i mean to be fair i live there and i do a lot of work there so
00:10:53.500 i guess that's why but yeah so um is there a difference in the quality of women you meet
00:10:58.220 through each place like where would you say it's the highest quality quality in terms of
00:11:02.380 short-term or long-term potential long-term potential long-term potential i mean i would say
00:11:07.500 probably somewhere like what you said yeah more like low-key and relaxed i think girls who you know
00:11:13.100 um let's say aren't constantly looking for a lot of attention all the time i think they tend to be
00:11:18.860 uh like long-term partners so just anyway i don't know maybe like a library or something
00:11:23.340 um i'm rarely in libraries you know but i'm just i'm just using my imagination so have you ever
00:11:29.100 gotten a date from a library uh actually you're never there actually i went on a i went on a date
00:11:36.860 with a really wholesome girl and she's like would you like to see this library and like she showed me
00:11:41.660 her book collection and we went to this line yeah she was actually a really really sweet beautiful nice
00:11:46.300 girl i was surprised first time in my life yeah i mean they've been few and far between um but yeah
00:11:51.980 it's happened before you just said it like you met girls there and i'm like wait you just said you
00:11:55.820 don't go there no i'm just using my imagination it's actually because a friend of mine said this to me
00:11:59.900 like the kind of girl you meet in shortage is different you know on a night out to the kind of
00:12:03.660 girl you'd meet let's say at a library oh is short it's not a high quality i mean i'm not just saying
00:12:07.900 that like whatever just being out i was attacked in short oh yeah i saw that yeah i was attacked so
00:12:12.940 i don't know the women i i haven't been impressed with shortage women but that was my sample it was
00:12:19.740 like midnight you know yeah that's fair um okay what about you um sorry don't worry you're next
00:12:28.220 don't worry like places where i've yeah where do you typically meet um i know you said you have
00:12:33.740 a boyfriend now where did you guys meet in the street like shortage
00:12:38.380 just he just saw me in the street and then he approached you yeah like he just approached me
00:12:45.500 and then and before that where did you typically meet guys like where was the biggest street
00:12:52.220 i'm noticing a pattern where are you where are you walking
00:12:59.740 i don't know like when you're walking in the street and then someone's like
00:13:03.580 yo can i have your number i don't know like okay so he asked you for your number yeah no yeah
00:13:09.820 yeah he was he was very weird of it he kept on seeing me like in the streets every single time
00:13:14.060 he saw me would like speak and then he eventually asked for my number okay like did you walk by him
00:13:19.580 on your way to somewhere yes often the area that i lived in it was like it's a very tight-knit area
00:13:25.820 like i would see him if i come out again so yeah what about you where do you it sounded like dating
00:13:31.740 apps earlier yeah so dating apps i think 50 50 because i get approached quite a lot on the street
00:13:37.180 as it is and right and i mean we've got you know nights out there's a lot of like clubs and stuff so
00:13:42.700 when i walk down the street to get to the beach to hang out with friends um there's always a lot of
00:13:47.580 different guys coming up and stuff you know um so mainly this but i think yeah i would say
00:13:53.740 yeah more on an app because i think it's just more automatic um but yeah but i think meeting
00:13:59.980 people in person is more organic and you can actually tell you know what that like kind of the
00:14:04.940 first impressions and everything straight away so yeah so you prefer you think the quality is higher
00:14:09.100 when you meet in person is much higher when you you can feel them out you can't feel them out through
00:14:13.340 the apps you can't put a filter in real life too yeah what about you um to tell the truth i don't do so
00:14:21.980 much of the app thing at the moment but um so it's more daily life and things like work so for the
00:14:28.620 firm i work for we're always hiring and firing people so um i'm always meeting tons of people i
00:14:35.260 was off for a month um a couple of weeks ago when i came back there was tons of new girls and stuff
00:14:41.260 and because um i don't know if they have bad taste or i'm genetically gifted um i tend to get um a lot
00:14:47.820 of attention and whatnot so um when i have time i sift through the potential suitors and whatnot so
00:14:55.340 i'm work in the street pretty much so wait let me get this straight so you're you're the place you
00:15:02.700 work will hire girls and you'll date them and then they'll get fired
00:15:06.460 like um for instance so it's summer right now so we just had a ton of uni students come in for summer
00:15:25.180 jobs and whatnot um ladies in the ages of 21 to 27 and stuff and a lot of them like older guys and stuff
00:15:33.660 like that so um we end up talking and stuff and yeah sometimes it goes further sometimes it doesn't
00:15:39.820 and where did you meet your best relationship at oof um i don't think i've had that yet
00:15:48.460 no number one draft pick um like tomorrow you gotta get married you gotta pick an ex
00:15:55.740 that might that might have come from a dating app dating app okay
00:15:59.020 yeah yeah yeah what about you mld i think the majority of women i've met and date it came from
00:16:06.460 dating apps but recently with my newfound internet fame it's been instagram so instagram is a little
00:16:14.620 bit i don't know i think dating apps now are just flooded with shit people yeah like i think early
00:16:19.180 dating apps it was good times but like now it's whale city and craziness everywhere yeah that are bots
00:16:28.220 so yeah but i i definitely agree like meeting them organically in the real world is probably
00:16:32.780 the best way okay and where did you meet your best relationship she was the secretary at my job
00:16:41.100 oh no way yeah you know i have a friend that said that you know who it is but i have a friend
00:16:47.100 ali she says if you want to date a certain type of guy to try to work for them yeah yeah she's like
00:16:52.860 if you want a dentist go be like a dental assistant now she was the best girl i ever dated in my life
00:16:58.620 what about you um now it'd be dating apps um but it wasn't always like that i think when
00:17:05.340 you're a bit younger it's easier to get on with people like friends of friends associates things like
00:17:11.020 that um that's where it was when i was younger but now dating apps working okay for me okay