JustPearlyThings - August 14, 2023


The Only Way Women Can Pick GOOD MEN


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

228.09698

Word count

2,239

Sentence count

177

Harmful content

Misogyny

16

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about purity and what it means to be pure in the modern dating world. We also talk about how to be a good parent to your kids and how to keep them pure and safe.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I was thinking about this the other day because I was like, if I was a guy, how would you pick a
00:00:04.600 good... Because I've been interviewing men for this divorce documentary I'm doing. So I interview
00:00:09.040 the men that have been like stupid wrecked by divorced. Okay. So they're... And typically this
00:00:16.360 happens like... This is kind of the story that I've heard like from guys. Typically he meets her
00:00:21.920 and there's like an unplanned pregnancy. And typically like they get married pretty quick.
00:00:27.460 And then she'll go to a women's shelter, like accuse him of abuse on some level when some, 0.99
00:00:34.680 like they'll even prove that she was lying because you get a free lawyer here if you accuse a guy of
00:00:38.940 abuse. And basically they have their whole lives ruined. They're on these really big child support
00:00:43.780 payments. Like one guy lost his job. Like it's really, really sad. Like I listened like there
00:00:48.780 and you can just tell they're like a shell of a dude who they used to be. Right. And I'll speak
00:00:53.020 to these men and I'm like, okay, so she, and some, their girls had red flags, but some it's like
00:00:58.220 she was from a two parent home. Um, she, there's, there's one that's in the news right now where
00:01:04.120 they're both virgins on their wedding night. Um, I'll see another that's like, she, um, she came
00:01:10.220 from a Christian family. She was from Eastern Europe and like all the, like on paper. And I'm like,
00:01:14.240 I don't know as a guy, how you avoid that. And so that's why I did this show is I was genuinely
00:01:19.300 asking, how do you like, what, what, where are the good women and how do men pick them? 0.95
00:01:25.600 And right now I'll tell you what we've got. Um, hold on. I have the list. Um, go on a coffee date
00:01:32.160 before or after you sleep with her as soon as possible. Um, one month to a year, ask her to make 0.86
00:01:39.220 a coffee, ask to cook on the spot, take her on a coffee date, date as many women as possible to 1.00
00:01:44.360 tell the difference, make sure you're not on birth control. Um, what is her relationship like with
00:01:48.460 her dad? Um, and I, and I don't even say this to like harp on women, right? Cause like men have
00:01:53.120 issues, women have issues, but I just think like with how much guys have to lose, I'm like how I can't
00:01:58.460 even think of how you avoid it. Well, I would say like, just don't, don't sign a contract when you
00:02:02.120 get married, just get married and don't sign the contract. I thought this too. I thought exactly like you,
00:02:06.880 but no, it doesn't matter because when you have a kid, but that's true. But I think if there was
00:02:13.220 more purity in the world, I think if the, if, if men and women were both seeking more purity from
00:02:17.180 each other, like how, how honest are you being right now? You know, how, how gentle are you as
00:02:22.240 a pure person? Do you want to harm people? Do you want to, do you go out of your way to lie and get
00:02:26.240 angry? Let's, let's, okay, let's follow this. Let's say the guy says, I'm going to be as pure as
00:02:30.400 possible. I'm going to have as little experience with women as possible. How does he tell the difference 1.00
00:02:35.240 between a woman with a high body count and a low body count? If he has no experience with
00:02:38.780 women, there's no way. Right. So if he has, if he has no experience, no factual ways. No, 0.99
00:02:47.560 but I'm saying, okay, I would think you'd have to like kind of be with a lot of women to figure
00:02:51.360 that out. But if he doesn't want to, if he follows the purity route. I think that men still have to
00:02:57.200 date women. I think men and women should, to date men, a few men and women at least to see like,
00:03:02.240 see what, see what people are out there to know the difference between different people. And also,
00:03:05.780 yeah, observing other people's relationships is important, but I don't think you have to sleep
00:03:10.740 with somebody to know if somebody is a, is a, is a wifey material, you know, I don't think you have
00:03:16.100 to sleep with someone. Yeah. I don't think you have to sleep with someone. But being like intimate,
00:03:18.780 having intimate conversations, having relationship, you know, having your traditional values play out in
00:03:23.240 life roles, you know, cooking and cleaning and taking care of the house, whatever. I think those are
00:03:26.740 things, those are important things to do. And that's how you'll know if that's a woman you actually want to 1.00
00:03:31.000 marry one day, but that's very pure, right? There is no like, you know, having the intercourse and
00:03:36.280 making out. Right. But I guess my question is like the average woman and like, we could talk about
00:03:41.260 like what we should do. And this is where like, it's hard because I used to think like this. I used to
00:03:46.720 think like you, but it's like, I think we're like red pill and like trad cons tend to like talk past
00:03:51.280 each other where it's like the average woman is slept with five to eight people. Like, why would he wait
00:03:56.280 for a woman? That's like, so I agree with this. And like, they should not, a man should not wait for
00:04:01.880 someone who slept with five to nine women. Right. And so how would he tell the difference between a
00:04:05.260 virgin who's lying and a girl who's at like actually a virgin unless he's carry themselves. I mean, 0.96
00:04:09.960 like you may, you won't know you will, you will never know. Right. I agree with you. You'll never
00:04:14.280 know for sure. But the, but the way a woman carries herself really shows a lot about who she is and if 1.00
00:04:19.200 she's going to lie about something or not. Yeah. And what? Yeah. That's a practical solution. I like
00:04:26.720 that. And how she responds to difficult situations. That's a good one. Yeah. That's a really good one.
00:04:32.260 Cause that, that'll be the test every time. Yeah. Go on a camping trip or travel with them or do
00:04:37.200 something that's, you know, challenging or out of their comfort zone. And this is the hard thing. I keep
00:04:41.340 thinking to these men I was in the docu, like I did the documentary with and a lot of them did this stuff
00:04:46.320 and that's why I'm genuinely like, I think there's like, there's no way you could know
00:04:51.920 like genuinely. You could never, you could never know. No, for sure. Yeah. But you can, you can get,
00:04:56.880 you can gauge because through conversation, meaning he's having a conversation and I find out, okay,
00:05:01.760 how much relationship you, if you've been in a relationship, 10 years, one person, yeah,
00:05:05.600 you could have done what you're doing in between, but then I can gauge between this age and this. Okay.
00:05:10.240 You've had one person that maybe you've been outside for the last two years. Do you get what I'm saying?
00:05:15.200 I think you can gauge it that you will never know exact number cause she could be doing other 0.93
00:05:18.240 things in between. And religion and spirituality definitely pays a part in who you choose and how
00:05:23.520 you act. Right. Cause if you both have a similar religion or spirituality. Okay. Okay. So, so then
00:05:28.400 why are the reputation of church women so bad? Yeah. The church team is mad. So let me start. 1.00
00:05:32.640 A lot of women go to church and they do terrible things. Yes. Right. But I'm saying like the 1.00
00:05:38.080 reputation of church women is, it's worse than the normal population. Yeah. And so it's like, right, 1.00
00:05:43.600 no, but I, but it's like, it's, it's just crazy. Cause it's like everything we tell them to look for,
00:05:48.160 it's like. Yeah. Cause they go and commit sins and they can wash them away on a Sunday.
00:05:52.400 You're right. You're right. And I think men and women both do that. They both commit sins,
00:05:54.960 you know, they both do that. Well, it sounds like for women, it's, it's also pretty destructive 1.00
00:05:59.280 cause their chances of getting another guy is pretty low. It sounds like it was decimating. It totally
00:06:04.880 destroys both of their lives. It sounds like when it doesn't work out, not only the man's life,
00:06:08.320 but also the woman's life. Cause she doesn't have that many chances afterwards, 1.00
00:06:11.040 according to the statistics you've been sharing. But you know what? I don't think this is a man
00:06:14.560 issue though. I feel like it's women that need to understand men more and understand what men want. 0.94
00:06:18.800 If they understand what men want, they won't have the issue of finding another man. It's actually
00:06:21.840 quite simple, isn't it? I just, I don't think women would leave if they didn't think they could do
00:06:25.760 better. Like nobody, nobody leaves to like be alone. I'm not saying they can't like work with
00:06:30.960 delusional, you know, but what's better because they might think that guy's better. Well,
00:06:35.840 I mean, a lot of times it's like the imagination. For example, a man could do way more for you,
00:06:40.560 but it's about what you're accepting. He couldn't give you everything you want to make sure you're
00:06:43.600 the number one woman. But if he goes out and he's got a couple of girls cheating or whatever, 1.00
00:06:47.520 are you going to accept that for being a happy wife? Of course not. Well, no one would.
00:06:51.120 A lot of people do. Exactly. A lot of people do. I'm saying, I'm saying if he looks after your home,
00:06:57.440 if he looks after the home, he makes sure you're good. Everything at home is patterned. You're the
00:07:06.560 number one woman. But yes, he goes out sometimes and he goes on weekenders away, let's say, and
00:07:12.400 he sleeps with women. But when he comes back, the house is patterned. Everything's looked after. 0.55
00:07:17.360 There's just something wrong with his values. There's something wrong with his connection to God or
00:07:21.520 religion or something. There's something wrong with his values. But what about her? Maybe she did 1.00
00:07:26.240 something to make him cheat. You don't know. No, that's true. I agree. I always feel like there's
00:07:30.640 a reason people cheat. Always. Men don't cheat for no reason and women don't cheat for no reason.
00:07:34.640 But I just think we kind of get in this. I think we get in this like, if a guy cheats,
00:07:39.520 he's like the worst. People always misconstrue my thought. I don't think cheating is good,
00:07:43.520 but it's like, well, demonize the men for cheating, right? But when women go into relationships 1.00
00:07:49.840 with open social media accounts and we don't demonize them where they can still get attention from
00:07:54.000 high value men. Exactly. 100%. And it's like, we don't, it's the same thing. But yeah,
00:07:58.640 like if a guy cheats, it's the worst thing ever. No, I think it's both equally. I feel like if a
00:08:02.560 female cheats, their demon is the worst thing ever. And that man will never take her back. Never. 1.00
00:08:06.880 So I think it's the opposite. I think the women will always take him back. That's not true.
00:08:10.240 That's not true. When you think about it, like men marry single mothers all the time.
00:08:14.560 Men take women back. And in a way that's like, I mean, you're coming in with another man's kid. 0.87
00:08:18.800 But I hear what you're saying to a certain degree. Because obviously, if you're letting
00:08:23.760 someone inside your body, you've... That man is going to look at you differently.
00:08:26.720 No, no, no. Forget the man looking at you. He's going to look at you differently. I'm saying,
00:08:30.160 if you're opening your legs, I don't think you're just going to open your legs to a man just off the
00:08:36.080 rip at night. I do think people should try to work out cheating though. Like, I think it's about
00:08:42.480 the kids. It's not about you. You should try to work it out. Yeah, you should work it 100%. I don't want to like,
00:08:46.800 no offense to people watching this, but like, my mom and dad got divorced when I was four.
00:08:51.840 And it was because my dad cheated on her. And I don't think anyone should, you know,
00:08:55.280 I think cheating, I don't inherently think cheating is a good thing. But I think,
00:08:58.960 I sometimes wonder, what would my life have looked like had they been together?
00:09:02.960 I wonder that every day. And how would I have been?
00:09:04.880 You know, I'm grateful that I am the way I am now. But I'm just saying, I know there's a lot of
00:09:09.280 girls out there who have dysfunctional families and don't have a father and mother that are together. 1.00
00:09:14.080 And I've seen people with who have their mother and father together. And they're very different
00:09:18.080 people, the way they approach themselves, the way they talk to people, the way they react to
00:09:21.920 situations, they're just different people. And I think that's beautiful. And so like, that's even
00:09:25.600 like a reason, like I want, I wish more people, more women and men would see, oh, I want to have a
00:09:29.760 healthy family. I want to break the generational trauma, the generational disrupt, you know, the
00:09:36.080 generational problem.