These Overweight Guys Got Mad on the Show When They Heard This Ugly Truth
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, the lads discuss the controversial topic of whether or not Lizzo is leading with her weight, or her talent. They discuss the pros and cons of body positivity vs body image, and why it's important to lead with your talent and not your weight.
Transcript
00:00:06.000
So if someone is big, are you saying that they then do not deserve to be heard or seen because they are big?
00:00:18.000
I would say if you're leading with your body, then yes, you are leading with your weight.
00:00:23.000
So let's take Lizzo, for example, because she's like right in the center of this topic.
00:00:39.000
Well, do you know what? I've never heard one of her songs because her music doesn't appeal to me.
00:00:42.000
But I know that she's right in the center of body positivity, her music notwithstanding.
00:00:50.000
A lot of people slate her because she apparently leads with her weight.
00:00:55.000
And I've seen on the other end of that argument, you've got people who compare her to, say, Rihanna or Beyonce.
00:01:02.000
They wear similar clothing, but their shape is very different.
00:01:05.000
I would argue that Lizzo, A, is actually potentially quite fit because she performs for long periods of time.
00:01:19.000
So I would say that A, she maybe has a lot of stamina because she performs for a long period of time.
00:01:25.000
I think she plays the flute sometimes when she performs and she dances and she sings.
00:01:29.000
That's a lot to do in, let's say, 90 minutes all at the same time.
00:01:38.000
So I would say that with Lizzo being at the center of the body positivity discussion, we should probably look at her stamina, A.
00:01:48.000
B, we should say that is she leading with her weight or does she just exist as a fat person who's on stage because of her career choice?
00:01:54.000
I would say Adele did not lead with her weight.
00:01:57.000
Nobody really commented on Adele's weight because she did not lead with that.
00:02:03.000
If you looked at her Instagram, it was her in long, beautiful dresses singing.
00:02:07.000
No one really talked about it until she lost weight.
00:02:10.000
On the other hand, Lizzo, if you look at her Instagram, it damn near looks like corn.
00:02:16.000
She wore a thong thing to a basketball game with kids at it in the name of body positivity.
00:02:26.000
I think people may have commented on it because she did gain a lot of weight.
00:02:31.000
But it's not the main topic of discussion, Kelly Clarkson, because she leads with her talent.
00:02:37.000
So you think Lizzo dressing the way she dresses?
00:02:42.000
I don't agree with that basketball game at all.
00:02:44.000
The same way I would say an OnlyFans model leads with her sexuality.
00:02:47.000
Like a girl that's on OnlyFans and her Instagram looks like a corn hub, basically.
00:02:54.000
How would you have Lizzo dress to not lead with her body?
00:03:05.000
I would say basically change her whole wardrobe.
00:03:11.000
If you look at any girl at a festival nowadays, very revealing clothing.
00:03:16.000
But when Lizzo's doing it, it's getting publicized.
00:03:21.000
And then on top of that, she's proclaiming that she's happy at that weight as well.
00:03:30.000
Because the majority of people don't find that attractive.
00:03:36.000
To the average individual, they don't find fat people attractive.
00:03:40.000
I'm telling you, as a big person myself, I'm not going to go out.
00:03:44.000
And I know a lot of big women that get attention.
00:04:00.000
I mean, there's always going to be a market for it.
00:04:04.000
But I'm saying that the majority of people don't find it attractive.
00:04:09.000
And you can say it's whether they're leading with their body or not.
00:04:11.000
But at the end of the day, it's just, she's in the public light.
00:04:19.000
But it's like three out of five guys will eliminate you based on your weight alone.
00:04:22.000
And they'd eliminate you based on other things as well.
00:04:27.000
Like, a lot of guys would eliminate me because I'm black or because I'm maybe not tall enough.
00:04:42.000
That's what I was about to say before you interrupted.
00:04:43.000
So couldn't you argue that the best dating advice for women is to lose weight?
00:04:46.000
I would say that I have never struggled regardless of my weight.
00:04:54.000
Well, it's not the biggest because I've lost a stone.
00:05:00.000
I've always got jobs that, like, are around what I look like.
00:05:04.000
I've done well online, which a lot of people would argue you have to be pretty to do.
00:05:11.000
I can do everything that I've ever wanted to do.
00:05:19.000
You told me a different show that you got more attention when you were thinner.
00:05:26.000
I mean, the attention is a burden a lot of the time for most women.
00:05:35.000
They will get surgery just to get attention from men.
00:05:39.000
So my audience is split 50-50 male-female on all of my platforms.
00:05:47.000
So at the moment, I'm trying to build on Facebook.
00:05:48.000
And when I target my ads, I target them at women.
00:05:53.000
I aim my Twitch as, like, girly, sleepover vibes.
00:05:57.000
I want men because I don't like that attention.
00:06:07.000
But I think when we have women getting extreme surgeries just to get attention from men,
00:06:12.000
I think we could say that women do want attention from men.
00:06:23.000
But, like, what I would say is, like, as a plus size person, I've never felt, like, discriminated against.
00:06:30.000
I've never been told I was ugly because I was fat.
00:06:32.000
Other than, like, occasionally in Pearl's chat.
00:06:39.000
And so I would never give someone that dating advice because it's never held me back personally.
00:06:47.000
But then I guess if we did a survey of fat people, fat women, probably if we're being truthful,
00:06:53.000
being fat has held them back at points, whether they know it or not.
00:07:00.000
I've never really actively dated, so I can't really say.
00:07:03.000
And also, like, to my own point, it has probably held me back without my knowledge.
00:07:09.000
There's the seen and then there's the unseen, right?
00:07:11.000
And, you know, there will be what some people in Pearl's chat would call the liberals.
00:07:15.000
They would say that you've got white privilege on your side.
00:07:18.000
Like, there's the intersectionality part of it that will go like, well, maybe you haven't been declined jobs
00:07:24.000
because you are desirable in the market for other reasons, like size aside.
00:07:29.000
As much as you're comfortable in your skin, if you were to step on a scale and see some alarming numbers,
00:07:35.000
would you change your lifestyle or would you continue living the same lifestyle that you're living right now?
00:07:46.000
Like, you see on my social media, I'm not actually trying to promote obesity.
00:07:50.000
I am trying to change my lifestyle by keeping it going and actually going through the struggles
00:07:57.000
You are talking to three fat people that none of us here are sitting here being like,
00:08:01.000
everyone should be our way and it's good for us.
00:08:03.000
We're actively saying like, yeah, we need to lose weight.
00:08:05.000
We need to sort out, you know, like, but it's difficult.
00:08:07.000
I commend you for trying to lose weight and good on you.
00:08:11.000
But can I just say, it just depends who you guys are deflecting the blame on.
00:08:15.000
Not just to you guys personally, but the fat in general.
00:08:19.000
Are you blaming other people for calling you guys out?
00:08:22.000
Or do you want to take some personal responsibility?
00:08:31.000
I'm like, I just tell them, look, man, I try and I'm unhealthy and it is what it is.
00:08:36.000
And that's why I say kindness matters so much because you can actually be, you can influence
00:08:48.000
But I think if that was true, then we would see more body positive people lose weight.
00:08:57.000
Big muscle men and skinny withy men that exercise and they're fast and they can probably poke you
00:09:08.000
But really, when you're in the gym, you're meant to be like, yeah, come on, you can do it
00:09:15.000
A scale will actually tell you something worse than a human.
00:09:19.000
A scale will tell you something worse than a human.
00:09:24.000
A scale will speak more like blatant to you than a human.
00:09:35.000
Wouldn't you say if someone says you're fat, it's the same thing as if you're tall.
00:09:42.000
I don't want to get too personal, but I do have health issues.
00:09:45.000
And that's why I that's why to encourage myself.
00:10:00.000
Cause when I go to the gym and when I put too much, I have other issues and my body hurts.
00:10:08.000
I got you three trainers right here that can go through everything.
00:10:19.000
Is the same way you could spend money on a nutrition coach?
00:10:23.000
One day I will share my story, but a lot of things like just I was unfortunate within life.
00:10:33.000
And I tell people be healthy, eat healthy, exercise.
00:10:37.000
And I will share my story one day, but that's the thing.
00:10:47.000
No, I'm not going to be that person because that's what people think.
00:10:58.000
I've got that push in life and that's what I'm doing.
00:11:01.000
And along with that push, because it was so hard all my life.
00:11:06.000
That's why I spread love and positivity because people were just damn right nasty.
00:11:11.000
Can you say though conversations like this are probably better than the body positivity movement?
00:11:19.000
But like I said, when I talk about body positivity, I say it's about accepting yourself.
00:11:25.000
No, I was just saying, wouldn't you say talking openly about it is better than just saying, hey, now I'm happy and comfortable with my own weight and I'm positive.
00:11:41.000
I'm really enjoying listening to you guys though, because it's educational.
00:11:43.000
Isn't that better than the body positivity movement?
00:11:55.000
When I look at people, I look into their eyes and I look at their face expressions.
00:12:02.000
And sometimes I see people and I see, and it's with any size or any shape or any body.
00:12:09.000
I see, sometimes I see people have had a hard life and they're trying to keep it going and they smile.
00:12:14.000
And that's why I don't see people in their way or the way they look because people have more to them.
00:12:24.000
I don't think you're answering his question though.
00:12:28.000
The reason how, the way I'm answering it is, what I'm saying is I see people's soul.
00:12:33.000
And that's why for me, weight, whether you're skinny, fat, small, I literally see people's soul.
00:12:38.000
And the worst, and the crazy thing is, I'm usually right.
00:12:43.000
Like I can, I can look at someone and that's why sometimes when I know people have, when I know, when I can tell people have just, they go through stuff every day, day to day.
00:12:56.000
That's what makes me happy because I want to encourage them.
00:13:00.000
I think that for us, this is a productive conversation.
00:13:07.000
And we're willing to sit here on a channel with a million subscribers and talk about it.
00:13:14.000
You know, I don't think, I don't think a lot of people, even plus size models, I know personally would not be comfortable to sit here and defend the body positivity movement.
00:13:22.000
And so it's easy for me to say, well, yeah, this is a great conversation.
00:13:26.000
But do I think that this would make some of my fat friends break down and cry because they don't want to acknowledge the fact that they're having a terrible time?
00:13:33.000
But maybe, maybe they'll cry and then start to lose weight.
00:13:55.000
When the guys at my work, they had this conversation about how women over 200, whatever, were so fat.
00:14:03.000
And then I ran a marathon and then I lost weight.
00:14:08.000
I just think, like, instead of getting emotional about it, we should think about solutions.
00:14:16.000
I'm just going to say, I'm not going to lose sleep if someone is crying when people are just telling the truth.
00:14:25.000
Like, you can't just not say what you want to say because you're scared you're going to hurt someone's feelings.
00:14:30.000
You know, at the end of the day, if it's the truth and someone is on the way to where it's unhealthy, they've got to deal with the reality.
00:14:35.000
You can't just say, oh, let's just protect them.
00:14:37.000
Guys, people have different coping mechanisms as well.
00:14:43.000
Would you rather your friend tell you or would you rather a scale tell you?
00:14:47.000
I'd rather my scale and my friend tell me so I know to actually try actively being active.
00:15:03.000
Well, like if my boyfriend came to me and like me and my boyfriend have had this conversation where I've been like, I want to be healthier.
00:15:10.000
And he's like, okay, well, like my boyfriend has a sweet tooth, but he's a very skinny guy.
00:15:15.000
And like, he's like, okay, I won't eat cake around you.
00:15:17.000
I don't want to tempt you, you know, and we've had those conversations, but they're very vulnerable conversations with people very close to you.
00:15:22.000
I don't think that we should be telling people in general, like about that way.
00:15:31.000
Have you ever had a conversation with like a 70 or 80 year old and you, this is what I mean when I go to my grandma's house at Christmas and they're just like, yeah, you're fat.
00:15:40.000
I don't, I don't, I don't tell my friends that they're fat, but I tell them, look, it's unhealthy.
00:15:44.000
I'm not saying you do that to a stranger on the street, but I think in your social circle, at least somebody should tell you.
00:15:50.000
I have a question, if someone, if, you know, person A is overweight and people, whether it's strangers or their nearest and dearest, tell them in whatever way, kindness first, we hope that they are unhealthy and that, you know, I love you.
00:16:05.000
You're unhealthy, you need to get into the gym and I'll even come with you.
00:16:15.000
A, is that the person or the people who told them to lose weight?
00:16:26.000
Like the weakest just go, because not only are you weak in body, but you're also weak in mind.
00:16:38.000
If that was a hypothetical, if that was to happen, for example, I've got a fat mate.
00:16:44.000
I love the fat, but I've got a fat, I've got a fat friend.
00:16:52.000
We actually, our mates as a group together, mate, you're getting pudgy.
00:17:02.000
If he's going to go and harm himself, again, that's not on, that's not on the group of friends
00:17:08.000
that are jovially have banter with him and encouraging him to lose weight.
00:17:12.000
That's just, again, Pearl said society's gone too soft.
00:17:17.000
Wouldn't you, wouldn't you say they're harming themselves either way?
00:17:20.000
Because if you die, have a heart attack at 35, you're going to have the same outcome.
00:17:24.000
I mean, even now there, there's a new, there's like an epidemic of people between the ages
00:17:33.000
I mean, there was a big ad in London for a long time that said obesity causes cancer.
00:17:38.000
I mean, I was skinny at the time when it was out.
00:17:43.000
No one is denying that, but that doesn't stop me.
00:17:46.000
So one of my tweets I had recently was I tweeted myself in a bikini and I said,
00:17:50.000
stop waiting to lose weight to get in a bikini and just go and enjoy yourself with your friends in the sun.
00:17:56.000
No, no, I think you should wait to get in a bikini.
00:17:58.000
I don't think you should because, and I'll tell you what.
00:18:00.000
I think, I think, I like feeling like my bikini is earned.
00:18:04.000
Yeah, but, Pel, when I was thinner, I was less inclined to wear one because I was more insecure.
00:18:12.000
When I was fatter, I was less likely to wear one too.
00:18:16.000
And I think that's like as the world should be.
00:18:18.000
Does that mean you should never go on holiday, Pel?
00:18:20.000
I think you should show, no, I think, you know, you should be modest in that regard.
00:18:23.000
Yeah, I think you show off things you're proud of.
00:18:25.000
And I don't think you should be proud of being overweight.
00:18:30.000
I'm not proud of being overweight, but I wouldn't say that I shouldn't go in a bikini with my friends.
00:18:34.000
Like watch, I should just sit on the sand and read a book while I wait for them.
00:18:43.000
You know, check my Instagram, peerblossom underscore X.
00:18:48.000
You see earlier on, you said that you're not at that part of your life where you're ready to do anything about it.
00:19:03.000
No, I find it easier having a boyfriend because he supports me.
00:19:10.000
We're talking about the topic here and the word, using the word fat, but there's also a fat called visceral fat.
00:19:24.000
So if you was to find out your visceral fat is at an alarming stage, would you continue to live the life you're living?
00:19:31.000
And this is, this is the thing we should be more aware of.
00:19:34.000
The word, the word weight, I'm not, we shouldn't be using the word weight so much, but yet the other numbers that are way more important.
00:19:46.000
We talk about body fat, muscle mass percentage, water percentage, visceral fat, which is one of the most dangerous fat that you can approach.
00:19:56.000
So if you was to find out where your visceral fat is at and it's at an alarming stage, you would not be sitting here talking about body positivity.
00:20:07.000
So I have like severe asthma, which was caused by COVID.
00:20:13.000
And in general, I'm pretty healthy, like in terms of my heart and what's going on with me.
00:20:21.000
I think that if I was older and like at the same BMI I'm at, it might be more difficult.
00:20:29.000
I have no idea, but I'm sure that my doctor does and they didn't have any problem with my, my heart in general.
00:20:34.000
Because I had all those tests done recently because, you know, my asthma like stopped me breathing because I'm allergic to my pet guinea pigs.
00:20:41.000
But yeah, I've, I've had all those tests and I'm reasonably healthy.
00:20:45.000
And that doesn't mean it won't get harder as I get older.
00:20:47.000
I'm very aware that like, as I reach my thirties and things like that, I'm 26 now.
00:20:51.000
Things will get harder to shift and I'd rather do something about it now.
00:20:55.000
And as I said before, I don't think anybody, I just don't think you can be healthy at your size.
00:21:00.000
I don't think that anybody is kidding themselves by that though.
00:21:09.000
In terms of like what my doctor said and like, I wasn't told.
00:21:15.000
I'd prefer to hear from a nutritionist and a doctor.
00:21:21.000
But like, obviously, like, I mean, I have serious asthma.
00:21:24.000
So like I was in hospital and I had a lot of chats and things like that about my general health.
00:21:31.000
A doctor and a nutritionist will give you two different results.
00:21:34.000
I think it's, um, for me, like, I'm not gonna kid myself and be like, I'm at my full health.
00:21:44.000
As I said, if I could press a button and be skinny, I would.
00:21:47.000
I just think that's what the body, like, if body positivity was really like body positive, it would be about losing weight.
00:21:57.000
I think for them it's actually mental positivity because body positivity is about, what, being confident, keeping a sane mind.
00:22:05.000
When you talk about body positivity, all I hear is about mental things like being confident, having a sane mental.
00:22:19.000
You know, you could call yourself healthy, but, you know, in reality, the reality is you're probably not healthy.
00:22:26.000
Nobody said we're healthy or I'm healthy or we know we have to eat healthy and exercise.
00:22:34.000
What she probably means is, did you mean, did you mean the fact that you ain't got a big illness or diabetes or blood pressure?
00:22:42.000
Would you say, would you say, would you say obesity is unhealthy?
00:22:48.000
I don't know if anyone would disagree with that.
00:22:49.000
And I think to the point around visceral fat and smoking.
00:22:53.000
So now in the UK, at least, if you want to buy a packet of cigarettes or tobacco, you've got loads of images of lungs and what it does.
00:23:01.000
And like all sorts of scary images are supposed to put people off.
00:23:05.000
I wonder if we were to have the same sorts of images around visceral fat.
00:23:10.000
Maybe actual people have actual images of obese people, although that could be problematic to some.
00:23:15.000
And on unhealthy food, if that would have a deterrent effect.
00:23:19.000
So it's not showing fat people on chocolates and stuff.
00:23:23.000
I mean, if you're showing fat people, like if you've just got an image of a fat person, that's probably quite problematic.
00:23:27.000
Remember the commercials they used to do about smoking where it's like smoking will kill you?
00:23:31.000
Why don't they have that for obesity when 60% of the population is overweight or obese?
00:23:40.000
I think we're the right group of people should do that.
00:23:47.000
One of the key things that we're establishing here, though, is that all three overweight people here are not saying that you shouldn't be healthy.
00:23:58.000
I mean, I'm saying that because of my youth, I don't have high blood pressure.
00:24:00.000
I don't have any of those things wrong with me.
00:24:04.000
But I think I would love to hear that message more from influencers like yourself rather than being content with the way you look rather than talking about wearing a bikini to the beach.
00:24:15.000
I think the better solution is what you're doing, which is to be an example of losing weight and being healthy, but actually healthy.
00:24:22.000
At the same time, I don't think that you should wait to enjoy yourself because of your weight.
00:24:26.000
I don't think you should wait to wear a bikini.
00:24:27.000
I don't think you should wait to do any of those things.
00:24:29.000
I don't think you should dislike yourself or not wear the dress you want to wear or not go somewhere you want to go because of your weight or not have pictures.
00:24:35.000
I've met people who won't have that picture taken.
00:24:37.000
No one's saying that, but I do think that when you're obese, that should be your first priority.
00:24:41.000
So I do think maybe instead of wearing a dress and going out on the town, you should go to the gym instead.
00:24:52.000
Why are you going to the club in a revealing dress?
00:24:57.000
Because I wanted to go have fun with my friends.
00:25:03.000
Would her reasons for wearing a bikini be any different from like a mid-sized or slim person at the beach where you are supposed to wear a bikini?
00:25:14.000
I would say nine out of ten women wear a bikini.
00:25:26.000
I mean, they keep, they say it's for themselves, but...
00:25:30.000
I don't say it's like, I wear a bikini because I feel comfortable in a bikini.
00:25:35.000
I wear a bikini because I just want to impress my friends.
00:25:38.000
I'd say nine times out of ten, you're trying to impress another guy or whoever you're attracted to.
00:25:43.000
And what's wrong with a fat woman trying to impress them?
00:25:45.000
And men want to show arms because this is what you want to call.
00:25:47.000
I just think it's unrealistic for them to think that a lot of people are finding them attractive when majority wouldn't.
00:25:56.000
I don't know. I'm not the majority. I'm not attracted to women.
00:26:00.000
I don't speak for all men, but I would say majority of blokes wouldn't find fat women in a bikini attractive.
00:26:10.000
Actually, I'm just, there's five guys in the room. Six.
00:26:14.000
So who here would disqualify a girl from dating her just based on her weight?
00:26:25.000
King, would you, would you disqualify, would you disqualify a girl based on her weight?
00:26:32.000
What is that weight limit? I'd be so interested.
00:26:34.000
Well, Pearl, would you disqualify a guy if he was fat?
00:26:40.000
But I have dated a bigger guy before, but yeah.
00:26:56.000
I'm a numbers person, so no matter what, if I'm with you on your numbers, then right.
00:27:01.000
If you enjoy, if you enjoy wearing a bikini, go for gold.
00:27:11.000
Like is it, if a woman is, I don't know, I don't know.
00:27:17.000
If she had a tiny waist, she was buxom and she had large thighs and a big bum, you would
00:27:22.000
But if she was rounder, like more of an apple shape, then you'd be like, yeah, you need to
00:27:29.000
I mean, if you look at Nicki Minaj, you go, oh yeah.
00:27:34.000
She's probably a bit larger than the average individual, but an obese woman in a bikini,
00:27:40.000
Would you go up to her and ask her what her, what the fat around her heart is like?
00:27:47.000
If she looks unhealthy, probably disqualifies her.
00:27:59.000
So three of my latest Instagram posts are me in a bikini, in different bikinis, and they
00:28:05.000
They have lots of comments telling me how great I look.
00:28:07.000
And I think I look great in them, you know, and I'm an obese one.
00:28:17.000
And what's the biggest client you've had, like the biggest weight?
00:28:20.000
I'd say to my mainly train, I would train guys, but just, I would say the average probably
00:28:30.000
I'm sorry that you, you listen, you need to do more personal training because until
00:28:34.000
you make a big person lose weight, you're like a big, big, big person lose weight.
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But the issue is even when you lose weight, 80% of fat people regain it within five years.
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I don't want to come, but for real, a personal trainer is all about actually helping and encouraging
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others and you need to actually set an example and be the example.
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But you see with the personal trainers here, how long do you spend with your client?
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So if any more time you want twice a week, three times a week.
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So then how am I going to control your life or make you lose weight or motivate you?
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If you're not even taking, committing yourself to losing weight yourself.
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And a lot of women just get a personal trainer as a counsellor.
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There are so many personal trainers that I know.
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I'm saying a lot of women just get personal trainers as a counsellor.
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So, I mean, what he's saying is it's on the individual.
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But then how do other personal trainers help other big, big people lose proper weight?
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I think if there's less of a body positivity movement, like more big, big people lose weight.
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It's more that more positive attitude needs to be promoted by personal trainers in general.
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It's personal trainers that are meant to be saying you're in a gym.
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Because if I started training you, I already motivated you from the start to start training.
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And if every, let's just say week or two, you are checking your numbers and every week
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or two, you're actually getting results from these numbers, that's motivating you to come
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to the gym more, to be there more, to eat healthier, to do more.
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It's because you are getting better every single day.
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It has nothing to do with how much you show up.
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And when I show you these numbers, and you see every two weeks or a month that, listen,
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I dropped four kg in, let's just say one month, that should motivate you to do more.
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It has nothing to do with mental health and our lifestyle and all this and all that bullshit.
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And when I show that to my clients, they're motivated to do more.
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It's because they see that they're improving themselves by showing up and doing what they
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I hear motivation a lot in this podcast, but a lot of people lose motivation very quickly.
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A lot of people are not consistent in their goals either.
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A lot of people are consistently doing nonsense.
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As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
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And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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