JustPearlyThings - June 13, 2023


This Modern Woman FEELS Too ENTITLED


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

212.82573

Word Count

2,374

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

14

Hate Speech Sentences

13


Summary

In this episode, we talk about the issue of stepmoms in Zimbabwe and their role in raising their children. We also talk about what it means to be a stepmom and why it is important to have a good relationship with your stepmother.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 you know when your dad brought it over do you guys have like a meeting like oh i'm gonna bring
00:00:04.840 this woman over it's gonna pretty much become like a mother in the house was there ever like
00:00:08.940 that discussion yeah he told me that he's seeing someone and everything and i was really excited
00:00:13.080 and when she first came i was so happy i was like oh my god i finally have a mom now
00:00:16.580 yeah how did that first like encounter like how was that for me i was happy because i felt like
00:00:23.020 i'm gonna have a mom i'm gonna have a mom because obviously my mom's sister obviously i broke up
00:00:27.740 with my dad but i was like okay at least now i have someone that can go to you know because
00:00:32.320 there's certain things that was happening to me when i was growing up you know the feminine stuff
00:00:35.720 i can't talk to my dad about it so i was happy that she was coming into the picture you know i
00:00:40.720 really loved her and when i found out she had kids and stuff like that i was like oh my god this is
00:00:44.180 really did you guys live with the kids as well her kids no her kids are back home all right so how how
00:00:51.260 did how was their reaction like meeting you at first it was good but i know when it's the the shift
00:00:57.620 happened when she fell pregnant do you know things it's just emotions female emotions when
00:01:02.820 they're pregnant i i was i was too young i didn't understand nobody explained to me i was just oh
00:01:07.600 how was i supposed to know that oh okay she's acting like this because she's pregnant and she
00:01:11.500 also got a certain issue if someone spoke to me and said okay she's acting like this you know
00:01:16.060 being blamed for my brother my stepbrothers do you know how losing my stepbrother is it's a bit
00:01:23.700 i just think like it's just hard for me to believe on the outside looking in that your mom had a
00:01:28.100 problem with you or your stepmom sorry sorry stepmom stepmom had a problem with you your dad had a
00:01:32.680 problem with you and like my dad never had an issue with me until the end yeah i know but if he's
00:01:37.300 kicking you out it just seems like you probably had a part to play like it doesn't seem like you
00:01:41.580 should demonize all zimbabwe men yeah how is that a cultural problem that is a cultural problem
00:01:47.020 because i know i know a little bit like a little stepmoms and stepfem stepdad's families that get
00:01:54.040 along my my friend is as a stepmom and they pretty much get along so i don't know how it's like a zim
00:01:59.740 issue because my problem now is like you going with the narrative like all zim men are like this
00:02:04.920 when we are not all like this and the culture is not like this the culture is built on family
00:02:08.800 but what happens a lot is when people go into like the west coming from zimbabwe it's built on secrets
00:02:13.940 no there's no family it's all secretive everyone keeps everything hidden no no you all try to
00:02:19.160 pretend that everything is perfect do you think children are entitled for a parent is able to
00:02:23.820 do you think a parent should be able to explain themselves to a child i think so yes
00:02:27.940 you have to explain yourself do not why okay why no i think that's a must because like with my
00:02:37.220 children personally right if there's a situation i will explain to my children like this is a
00:02:42.900 situation like due between this person that person depends on the situation of course
00:02:48.860 because they're still very young but the children need to be aware otherwise it's going to be like
00:02:54.040 how it was with her where no one told her anything you're just kept in a room i think you become
00:03:00.340 westernized i think you become westernized and you just become entitled to feel like you
00:03:04.580 that they deserve you deserve an explanation because if a parent is providing that is their core value
00:03:09.640 like i'm here to provide for you anything else this is the reason why zimbabwean culture is i'm
00:03:15.520 completely you have to be able to speak to your child you can't silence your children you guys do
00:03:20.980 this all the time oh mom i'm going through this shish oh i'm dating this boy you can't date boys
00:03:26.440 yeah but that's because we live in the west with a bunch of whiners where it's like this problem
00:03:31.980 that problem that they used to live through plagues like they used to live through real problem now we
00:03:37.660 have all this trauma this mental instability i'm not talking about you personally but it's like
00:03:42.440 it's like and you don't deserve an explanation from your parents for every little thing i do deserve
00:03:47.240 i do deserve anything the world doesn't owe you shit the world owes me every single thing
00:03:53.460 yes it does yes it does like the world the world owes you nothing but if you don't explain to your
00:04:00.620 children certain situations then they can't feel comfortable coming to ask you things a lot of
00:04:05.640 times you're better for not knowing certain situations i don't want to know what my parents
00:04:09.700 are fighting about i don't want to know what my parents mental health issues are like a lot of
00:04:14.580 times you're better for not knowing things to be honest right now i think you guys are so privileged
00:04:20.220 your parents did you a favor by bringing you into this country right yeah my mom did thank you mom
00:04:25.740 yeah but you think you're dead and nothing to play in that role well you had to you had to do it
00:04:30.660 yeah he owed my mom that at least how did he owe you that's the least he owed my mother how did he owe
00:04:35.700 your mom that he didn't i'm not gonna explain my dad's situation because you guys are trying to make me
00:04:39.440 expose my father i'm not gonna do that okay jenna sami but he owed my mom that
00:04:43.840 he owned my mom he owed my mom you're coming and saying oh zimbabwean culture is trash when your
00:04:49.480 parent worked hard in a country that right now is suffering from a law and bro no they don't
00:04:54.980 really owe you that when he had me i didn't choose for him to have me now so he has a responsibility
00:04:59.420 he's obligated to look after me i'm a child yeah he has a responsibility to look after you but you
00:05:03.620 don't have a responsibility to go and ask for questions from him i can ask my father whatever
00:05:07.000 i want and he should answer me just like my sons can ask me questions and i'll answer them
00:05:11.180 no that's a western mentality no it's not a western mentality that's the reason why the
00:05:15.040 zim culture don't work you like i was just i'll just say how does how does zim culture not work
00:05:19.720 it doesn't work like i was saying okay what what what outcome what outcome so so i'm guessing zim is
00:05:24.120 more traditional right very okay okay so so it's like the woman submits to the her husband right
00:05:30.260 whether he's cheating on you or not whether he's abusing or not you stay women women are happier in
00:05:35.400 traditional outcomes every stat will tell you this women have more stds they're more likely to be
00:05:40.720 depressed they're more likely to be on antidepressants they're more likely to have had an abortion
00:05:44.200 in a more 50 50 modern society in traditional countries operate in traditional outcomes the
00:05:50.780 women are happier they're not happy they're miserable they're better no they're absolutely
00:05:54.560 they're faking it trust me you don't think if it's from the zim side of women in modern culture women
00:06:02.520 are in antidepressants women are depressed more than ever in human history but if it's traditional
00:06:08.720 right no matter whatever culture it is you you can't get out even if you want to get out you
00:06:14.720 can't get out because you're gonna think oh what about my family what would the culture say yeah and
00:06:19.820 that's and that's better because that was when mothers put their kids before them it wasn't a me
00:06:24.460 me me culture it's not about my happiness about your kids your kids more likely to go to prison
00:06:28.720 they're more likely to be in a mental institution they're more likely to drop out of school you're
00:06:32.160 putting your kid at every statistical disadvantage you can possibly put them at by leaving every
00:06:38.400 statistical disadvantage but modern women don't care because they care about their feelings and not
00:06:44.400 the kids but sometimes it's better to leave how who is it better for you or the kids so it might be
00:06:51.280 better for you but if you're in a toxic environment if you're in a toxic relationship wrong if in a
00:06:56.880 toxic relationship it's better to leave for both for your children's sake and for your but why are
00:07:01.520 you arguing why is the other person arguing with you women it's it's your argument it's not always us
00:07:09.200 let's be realistic like you don't have to argue back that's a choice you don't have to argue back
00:07:15.120 if there's abuse in you you have to sit there and take it define a nice define abuse abuse can be
00:07:20.640 mentally physically define you need you to define it because a lot of times women women we throw
00:07:25.280 around these buzzwords that don't mean anything anymore that guy is physically assaulting you
00:07:30.480 right it's best to say in that marriage because it's no no physical assault is a very minority of
00:07:36.800 cases it's a minority so that's the exception it's not the rule please give me another example outside of
00:07:42.160 assault there's so many okay emotional abuse what is it emotional abuse is where they're
00:07:54.640 oh god yeah like they're trying to control you you can't do this you can't do that you can't wear this
00:08:00.800 you can't wear that that's my problem right there you know when you're coming from zim culture they
00:08:05.920 give you advice and you guys think advice is control they give you guys i'm saying they come
00:08:20.160 to give you advice they've been through situations right you have pretty much made into the uk they
00:08:24.880 they left a country where the amount of people that are living in the country are like a small minority
00:08:30.080 right and it's a blessing to actually be able to leave that country because of the situation that's
00:08:34.480 going on in that country so they have all this life advice these are people that used to learn
00:08:38.800 in difficult circumstances right that some of them actually in zim culture went to war as well
00:08:43.360 so they have all that life experience they've had all these things that guidance pretty much
00:08:47.680 they want to give for you for your life but you guys feel like it's control because you want to be
00:08:51.680 so liberal you don't want to listen to your parents and that's where i have a disagreement with
00:08:55.840 you guys because you want western culture because it gives you that liberalism that i can just do
00:08:59.760 whatever i want by doing whatever you want you have no responsibility and you have no one to account
00:09:04.240 to like right now you don't want to be accountable to anybody so your parents can tell you to do
00:09:09.120 something you feel like they're controlling you but they can't we're grown you you were 17 when you
00:09:15.280 left the house you can advise me when i left when i got for an hour you have to be clear with that
00:09:20.080 you have to be realistic with that you can't just be like when you left if i picked my i would have had
00:09:24.080 all my stuff if i wanted to leave yeah where would i be going as well i was the one sleeping on the
00:09:29.040 bars they were but you challenged the authority in the house if you tried when he marched to me
00:09:33.200 kicking me out and i said what i said i said what i said after when he was throwing my seat out of the
00:09:37.600 house already you had to say something to be disrespectful to be kicked out i got kicked off
00:09:41.680 because i didn't move at the house at a certain time because of her and she's got an issue with me
00:09:46.160 hovering at a certain time because i got school anyway she completed that whole situation for no reason
00:09:51.200 she got mad as usual so you got kicked out because you're not doing the chores i don't know what she
00:09:54.880 said basically because i didn't do a chore at a certain time she'll say okay in the mornings you
00:09:59.760 have to do the chore around eight o'clock if you're in someone's house you have to listen to their rules
00:10:04.800 but if the person's changing the times just because they want to get you in trouble you guys would never
00:10:09.600 understand it because you're not in the situation anyway so i don't i don't expect you to understand it
00:10:14.640 and it's fine i look at step step parents of um that my parents had divorced my mom and
00:10:21.040 dad did divorce my culture is indian back from india like my dad is from india my mom was born here
00:10:27.440 whatever right but um i was my correct story is crazy as well like hers but that's due to uh my mom's
00:10:37.120 boyfriend abusing me as well right and that shows why women shouldn't leave because it puts their kid at
00:10:43.680 risk but you're proving my point no she's not she's gonna do my thing i'm like as many of you know i was
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