JustPearlyThings - June 13, 2023


This Modern Woman FEELS Too ENTITLED


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

212.82573

Word count

2,374

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Hate speech

13

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the issue of stepmoms in Zimbabwe and their role in raising their children. We also talk about what it means to be a stepmom and why it is important to have a good relationship with your stepmother.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 you know when your dad brought it over do you guys have like a meeting like oh i'm gonna bring
00:00:04.840 this woman over it's gonna pretty much become like a mother in the house was there ever like 1.00
00:00:08.940 that discussion yeah he told me that he's seeing someone and everything and i was really excited
00:00:13.080 and when she first came i was so happy i was like oh my god i finally have a mom now
00:00:16.580 yeah how did that first like encounter like how was that for me i was happy because i felt like
00:00:23.020 i'm gonna have a mom i'm gonna have a mom because obviously my mom's sister obviously i broke up 0.63
00:00:27.740 with my dad but i was like okay at least now i have someone that can go to you know because
00:00:32.320 there's certain things that was happening to me when i was growing up you know the feminine stuff 0.89
00:00:35.720 i can't talk to my dad about it so i was happy that she was coming into the picture you know i
00:00:40.720 really loved her and when i found out she had kids and stuff like that i was like oh my god this is
00:00:44.180 really did you guys live with the kids as well her kids no her kids are back home all right so how how
00:00:51.260 did how was their reaction like meeting you at first it was good but i know when it's the the shift
00:00:57.620 happened when she fell pregnant do you know things it's just emotions female emotions when 1.00
00:01:02.820 they're pregnant i i was i was too young i didn't understand nobody explained to me i was just oh
00:01:07.600 how was i supposed to know that oh okay she's acting like this because she's pregnant and she 1.00
00:01:11.500 also got a certain issue if someone spoke to me and said okay she's acting like this you know 0.91
00:01:16.060 being blamed for my brother my stepbrothers do you know how losing my stepbrother is it's a bit
00:01:23.700 i just think like it's just hard for me to believe on the outside looking in that your mom had a
00:01:28.100 problem with you or your stepmom sorry sorry stepmom stepmom had a problem with you your dad had a
00:01:32.680 problem with you and like my dad never had an issue with me until the end yeah i know but if he's
00:01:37.300 kicking you out it just seems like you probably had a part to play like it doesn't seem like you
00:01:41.580 should demonize all zimbabwe men yeah how is that a cultural problem that is a cultural problem 0.80
00:01:47.020 because i know i know a little bit like a little stepmoms and stepfem stepdad's families that get
00:01:54.040 along my my friend is as a stepmom and they pretty much get along so i don't know how it's like a zim 0.97
00:01:59.740 issue because my problem now is like you going with the narrative like all zim men are like this
00:02:04.920 when we are not all like this and the culture is not like this the culture is built on family
00:02:08.800 but what happens a lot is when people go into like the west coming from zimbabwe it's built on secrets
00:02:13.940 no there's no family it's all secretive everyone keeps everything hidden no no you all try to
00:02:19.160 pretend that everything is perfect do you think children are entitled for a parent is able to
00:02:23.820 do you think a parent should be able to explain themselves to a child i think so yes
00:02:27.940 you have to explain yourself do not why okay why no i think that's a must because like with my
00:02:37.220 children personally right if there's a situation i will explain to my children like this is a
00:02:42.900 situation like due between this person that person depends on the situation of course
00:02:48.860 because they're still very young but the children need to be aware otherwise it's going to be like
00:02:54.040 how it was with her where no one told her anything you're just kept in a room i think you become
00:03:00.340 westernized i think you become westernized and you just become entitled to feel like you
00:03:04.580 that they deserve you deserve an explanation because if a parent is providing that is their core value
00:03:09.640 like i'm here to provide for you anything else this is the reason why zimbabwean culture is i'm
00:03:15.520 completely you have to be able to speak to your child you can't silence your children you guys do
00:03:20.980 this all the time oh mom i'm going through this shish oh i'm dating this boy you can't date boys
00:03:26.440 yeah but that's because we live in the west with a bunch of whiners where it's like this problem 1.00
00:03:31.980 that problem that they used to live through plagues like they used to live through real problem now we
00:03:37.660 have all this trauma this mental instability i'm not talking about you personally but it's like
00:03:42.440 it's like and you don't deserve an explanation from your parents for every little thing i do deserve
00:03:47.240 i do deserve anything the world doesn't owe you shit the world owes me every single thing 0.97
00:03:53.460 yes it does yes it does like the world the world owes you nothing but if you don't explain to your
00:04:00.620 children certain situations then they can't feel comfortable coming to ask you things a lot of
00:04:05.640 times you're better for not knowing certain situations i don't want to know what my parents
00:04:09.700 are fighting about i don't want to know what my parents mental health issues are like a lot of
00:04:14.580 times you're better for not knowing things to be honest right now i think you guys are so privileged
00:04:20.220 your parents did you a favor by bringing you into this country right yeah my mom did thank you mom
00:04:25.740 yeah but you think you're dead and nothing to play in that role well you had to you had to do it
00:04:30.660 yeah he owed my mom that at least how did he owe you that's the least he owed my mother how did he owe
00:04:35.700 your mom that he didn't i'm not gonna explain my dad's situation because you guys are trying to make me
00:04:39.440 expose my father i'm not gonna do that okay jenna sami but he owed my mom that
00:04:43.840 he owned my mom he owed my mom you're coming and saying oh zimbabwean culture is trash when your
00:04:49.480 parent worked hard in a country that right now is suffering from a law and bro no they don't
00:04:54.980 really owe you that when he had me i didn't choose for him to have me now so he has a responsibility
00:04:59.420 he's obligated to look after me i'm a child yeah he has a responsibility to look after you but you
00:05:03.620 don't have a responsibility to go and ask for questions from him i can ask my father whatever
00:05:07.000 i want and he should answer me just like my sons can ask me questions and i'll answer them
00:05:11.180 no that's a western mentality no it's not a western mentality that's the reason why the
00:05:15.040 zim culture don't work you like i was just i'll just say how does how does zim culture not work
00:05:19.720 it doesn't work like i was saying okay what what what outcome what outcome so so i'm guessing zim is
00:05:24.120 more traditional right very okay okay so so it's like the woman submits to the her husband right 0.86
00:05:30.260 whether he's cheating on you or not whether he's abusing or not you stay women women are happier in 0.78
00:05:35.400 traditional outcomes every stat will tell you this women have more stds they're more likely to be 0.96
00:05:40.720 depressed they're more likely to be on antidepressants they're more likely to have had an abortion
00:05:44.200 in a more 50 50 modern society in traditional countries operate in traditional outcomes the
00:05:50.780 women are happier they're not happy they're miserable they're better no they're absolutely 0.99
00:05:54.560 they're faking it trust me you don't think if it's from the zim side of women in modern culture women 1.00
00:06:02.520 are in antidepressants women are depressed more than ever in human history but if it's traditional
00:06:08.720 right no matter whatever culture it is you you can't get out even if you want to get out you
00:06:14.720 can't get out because you're gonna think oh what about my family what would the culture say yeah and
00:06:19.820 that's and that's better because that was when mothers put their kids before them it wasn't a me 1.00
00:06:24.460 me me culture it's not about my happiness about your kids your kids more likely to go to prison
00:06:28.720 they're more likely to be in a mental institution they're more likely to drop out of school you're
00:06:32.160 putting your kid at every statistical disadvantage you can possibly put them at by leaving every
00:06:38.400 statistical disadvantage but modern women don't care because they care about their feelings and not 1.00
00:06:44.400 the kids but sometimes it's better to leave how who is it better for you or the kids so it might be
00:06:51.280 better for you but if you're in a toxic environment if you're in a toxic relationship wrong if in a
00:06:56.880 toxic relationship it's better to leave for both for your children's sake and for your but why are
00:07:01.520 you arguing why is the other person arguing with you women it's it's your argument it's not always us
00:07:09.200 let's be realistic like you don't have to argue back that's a choice you don't have to argue back
00:07:15.120 if there's abuse in you you have to sit there and take it define a nice define abuse abuse can be
00:07:20.640 mentally physically define you need you to define it because a lot of times women women we throw 1.00
00:07:25.280 around these buzzwords that don't mean anything anymore that guy is physically assaulting you
00:07:30.480 right it's best to say in that marriage because it's no no physical assault is a very minority of
00:07:36.800 cases it's a minority so that's the exception it's not the rule please give me another example outside of
00:07:42.160 assault there's so many okay emotional abuse what is it emotional abuse is where they're
00:07:54.640 oh god yeah like they're trying to control you you can't do this you can't do that you can't wear this
00:08:00.800 you can't wear that that's my problem right there you know when you're coming from zim culture they 1.00
00:08:05.920 give you advice and you guys think advice is control they give you guys i'm saying they come
00:08:20.160 to give you advice they've been through situations right you have pretty much made into the uk they
00:08:24.880 they left a country where the amount of people that are living in the country are like a small minority
00:08:30.080 right and it's a blessing to actually be able to leave that country because of the situation that's
00:08:34.480 going on in that country so they have all this life advice these are people that used to learn
00:08:38.800 in difficult circumstances right that some of them actually in zim culture went to war as well 0.84
00:08:43.360 so they have all that life experience they've had all these things that guidance pretty much
00:08:47.680 they want to give for you for your life but you guys feel like it's control because you want to be
00:08:51.680 so liberal you don't want to listen to your parents and that's where i have a disagreement with
00:08:55.840 you guys because you want western culture because it gives you that liberalism that i can just do
00:08:59.760 whatever i want by doing whatever you want you have no responsibility and you have no one to account
00:09:04.240 to like right now you don't want to be accountable to anybody so your parents can tell you to do
00:09:09.120 something you feel like they're controlling you but they can't we're grown you you were 17 when you
00:09:15.280 left the house you can advise me when i left when i got for an hour you have to be clear with that
00:09:20.080 you have to be realistic with that you can't just be like when you left if i picked my i would have had
00:09:24.080 all my stuff if i wanted to leave yeah where would i be going as well i was the one sleeping on the
00:09:29.040 bars they were but you challenged the authority in the house if you tried when he marched to me
00:09:33.200 kicking me out and i said what i said i said what i said after when he was throwing my seat out of the
00:09:37.600 house already you had to say something to be disrespectful to be kicked out i got kicked off
00:09:41.680 because i didn't move at the house at a certain time because of her and she's got an issue with me 0.51
00:09:46.160 hovering at a certain time because i got school anyway she completed that whole situation for no reason
00:09:51.200 she got mad as usual so you got kicked out because you're not doing the chores i don't know what she
00:09:54.880 said basically because i didn't do a chore at a certain time she'll say okay in the mornings you
00:09:59.760 have to do the chore around eight o'clock if you're in someone's house you have to listen to their rules
00:10:04.800 but if the person's changing the times just because they want to get you in trouble you guys would never
00:10:09.600 understand it because you're not in the situation anyway so i don't i don't expect you to understand it
00:10:14.640 and it's fine i look at step step parents of um that my parents had divorced my mom and
00:10:21.040 dad did divorce my culture is indian back from india like my dad is from india my mom was born here
00:10:27.440 whatever right but um i was my correct story is crazy as well like hers but that's due to uh my mom's
00:10:37.120 boyfriend abusing me as well right and that shows why women shouldn't leave because it puts their kid at 1.00
00:10:43.680 risk but you're proving my point no she's not she's gonna do my thing i'm like as many of you know i was
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