JustPearlyThings - This Modern Woman Got TRIGGERED By This

00:00:00.000 did you know that if you look at the divorce rate and the rate of women on birth control

00:00:04.000 they're like the same what do you mean let me let me find it i'm gonna send it to king

00:00:12.000 divorce rate is there like a correlation or it just happens to be the same

00:00:18.960 married women are often on birth control no divorce is it divorce women here so i'm gonna send this to 1.00

00:00:26.000 king do you mean like women on birth control are getting more divorces because if you look at it 0.84

00:00:40.000 from a history perspective the divorce reform act came in 1969 which is when you could basically get

00:00:46.800 a divorce for no reason and birth control became freely available in 1974. so you hold on so those

00:00:52.640 two things would obviously correlate but that doesn't mean that there's a correlation it just

00:00:57.280 means that those things happen at the same time you could argue that i think that you know i asked

00:01:03.600 my grandma my grandma is um very sick she like so i've been asking her like life questions lately

00:01:10.320 and i asked her because she was you know around in the 70s when you know people started getting

00:01:15.040 divorced a lot like you're right no fault divorce was implemented and i asked her like why she thought that

00:01:23.200 women like why why the divorce like what changed in relationships my grandma said birth control 1.00

00:01:29.520 now again it could it might it might not be related but look at this chart it's actually kind of crazy

00:01:36.000 sorry to hear that by the way yeah same sorry oh she yeah no it's okay she's she's like um like yeah she's

00:01:42.640 she's um she's been sick for a while so it's kind of like um is that age on the left

00:01:53.520 um no king did you get it i sent it to you on insta okay i think the correlation between that could be

00:02:02.560 back to when they say that when a woman sleeps with more than five people the divorce rate tends to

00:02:09.360 cheat because she's she's she's in a habit of just moving on when it gets tough or moving on at that

00:02:14.720 point so the correlation would be that she's making more choices to sleep with men because she doesn't 1.00

00:02:19.680 have to make she's got that bailout that you're saying her body count then goes up which means 1.00

00:02:24.160 she's less likely to stick around in a situation that she's not used to dealing with the point i

00:02:29.600 was making though is that like divorce wroughts divorce wroughts divorce rates and birth control

00:02:34.640 would obviously go up at the same time because birth control was made freely available at the nhs in the

00:02:39.040 70s and divorce without any reason was basically introduced in the late 60s so they would happen at the

00:02:46.160 the same time is it just the same numbers or is it i'm gonna i'm gonna show you the chart it's the um

00:02:52.720 it should be the like the first one on the left that's on the screen do you see it

00:02:57.520 on the left yeah on the rough top corner is is that to match your point of women being more 1.00

00:03:05.120 promiscuous that's what i think that's what i mean okay for i can understand it in that point okay

00:03:11.600 you're you've recently divorced and like if you want to live your best life seatbelts on you're

00:03:16.640 probably driving more you know what i mean but were these women on birth control before they got 1.00

00:03:20.640 divorced or after they got divorced i think probably we'll see like going on birth control because 0.99

00:03:26.320 they've had their kids and now they can't deal with their husband because they've had his kids 0.99

00:03:29.440 i don't know that is that is common women do divorce men um i've interviewed interviewed a

00:03:36.320 divorce attorney and that's what they say they said they'll get the two kids and then stop sleeping

00:03:39.760 with the husband and then divorce him yeah because if he's not pulling his weight and they're doing

00:03:43.360 all the work with the kids they wouldn't be attracted to him i sense like a little bit of an anger

00:03:47.040 towards men from you a little bit a little bit no i love men it doesn't sound like it based on how

00:03:53.360 you're talking no i think because you're like he's not pulling his weight why doesn't he just fight for

00:03:57.760 his kids like you always kind of automatically take the woman's side i think that you can you can

00:04:02.320 take down that chart they see it i would argue that right now that that's just the room i'm in that i

00:04:07.360 feel the need to to pull that but in general like no i love men and like the men i know in the circles

00:04:12.480 i'm in are what is what is marriage to you um well when i get married that would be like i want to get

00:04:18.800 married and then i want to have my babies and you know that's what's the like what's the point of

00:04:23.040 marriage uh for me it would just be making us one unit and that to me is like my forever and we are

00:04:30.320 now financially connected we're everything connected we're going to have each other's

00:04:33.360 children and we're going to spend our lives together okay so you do believe like when you

00:04:36.480 get married it's forever yeah okay in an ideal world okay and so do you believe that it's in

00:04:42.640 sickness and in health for richer or for poorer for better or for worse yes okay so then not when

00:04:48.560 the man isn't pulling his weight no i totally agree with the saying but what i was saying

00:04:53.520 though is that like she might not want to sleep with him that doesn't mean she doesn't love him

00:04:57.040 and she wouldn't stay with him but she may stop having sex with him if he's not if he if so she 1.00

00:05:01.840 uses sex as a way to control him if he's not doing what she might not be attracted to him why why is 0.83

00:05:06.720 she not attracted to him because nobody's attracted to somebody who doesn't like help them and like

00:05:12.720 do you believe in duty what do you mean by that like do you believe you have duties in a marriage

00:05:17.360 or do you believe you should just do what you want what makes you happy but are you implying

00:05:20.560 that sex is a duty i am do you do you believe that sex is a duty i sex is a really complicated

00:05:26.080 thing i'm a person with a really high sex drive i can't imagine like not having sex with my boyfriend 0.64

00:05:30.400 every day well what would you do if your boyfriend stopped having sex with you i would 0.99

00:05:33.760 find it really difficult which is why i understand that there's so much nuance to this topic

00:05:36.960 because i feel like i do have like and also women don't take rejection as well as men do often

00:05:41.040 in the bedroom um but like i also understand that there are situations in a marriage where you may go

00:05:46.000 through a dry spell because you're busy because you're stressed because you haven't had two

00:05:49.680 children and it's like physically impossible or painful a long period of time well i understand

00:05:54.800 like if you have medical issues but outside of medical issues we're just talking normal why would

00:06:00.240 you not want to sleep with your husband i think that attraction can ebb and flow especially when you're

00:06:05.520 very stressed or if you want to see someone else yeah it's hard for me to speak on because i've not been in

00:06:10.880 that situation myself so i can only speak on like based on my friend's experience and what they've told me of

00:06:15.840 like i don't want to sleep with my husband because i don't see him anymore and like he's working all

00:06:20.080 time and you know what i mean it's hard to for me to speak from myself because i've never been in that

00:06:24.720 scenario do you think that men get married thinking their wives will stop sleeping with them no nobody

00:06:29.600 gets married thinking they're not going to sleep with each other okay so don't you think that's a

00:06:32.560 bit unfair to men to like they're already risking so much going into marriage they're risking you falsely

00:06:39.120 accusing them of abuse they're risking all their assets and now they can't even get sex out of it

00:06:44.640 i think women get married wanting to have sex though i don't think anyone wants to not have

00:06:49.680 sex with their partner whose choice is it typically to not have sex the men or the women the woman 0.97

00:06:54.720 okay so it's the women not sleeping with the men often i would say yeah that's okay and you'd agree 0.99

00:07:00.320 so would you agree that that's unfair to men no i don't think you're entitled to somebody's body

00:07:06.640 but so you don't think sex is a duty from wives to husbands not a duty no i think i think it's a

00:07:11.520 lovely thing that you can share and i think intimacy is very important in a relationship

00:07:15.040 and i think if sex stopped forever you might get divorced over it i think intimacy is incredibly

00:07:19.760 important but do i think that it's ever owed and do i think the expectation of owing would make

00:07:24.240 anyone want it more no but but not owed but like shouldn't you want to do that yeah as a wife i do 0.95

00:07:30.400 want to like with my boyfriend all the time but it's hard to right but i'm saying like like

00:07:36.640 it's just like the way you're you're speaking it's kind of like do whatever you want in marriage

00:07:40.800 like do what makes you happy do do what you feel is right but it's like if you want a long and happy

00:07:45.760 marriage how are you going to do that if you're not sleeping with your husband

00:07:48.800 but if you're having sex when you don't want to with your husband i i can't imagine that but it

00:07:53.680 must be a terrible feeling do you do you think that sometimes in marriage you're going to have

00:07:58.400 to do things you don't want to do for the family sex is a very unpleasant thing to do if you don't

00:08:03.200 want to do you can just i think just lay there you know what are you really doing you just like

00:08:08.320 why would you get married though if that's if that's an option for you with that person i think

00:08:13.600 it goes back to when you ask why do you want to get married i think i don't want to get married to

00:08:19.200 feel like a unit to want to have kids with someone to want to love someone i'm getting married because

00:08:24.640 i can't wait to enjoy that day with that person just for us to enjoy it's like a declaration of

00:08:30.720 me showing you again why i love you it just comes with a lot more responsibility in terms of like you

00:08:35.760 said we come together as a unit financially on paper but it shouldn't change the status of your

00:08:40.720 your love your relationship you know i think when you get with someone and you say to yourself this

00:08:45.680 is the guy that i want to marry you have a duty to never stop trying if you're at a point in a

00:08:51.280 relationship where you feel like you don't know if you want to try with this person anymore the option

00:08:56.880 of getting married should never be an option because you when you get into a relationship that's why 0.99

00:09:02.000 relationships fail because people don't understand that when love is true love it becomes a thing of

00:09:09.520 you're not selfish and you you you vow to without that marriage you vow to always try when it's hard

00:09:15.360 when i'm in a mood when i'm on my period when everything's heightened i still try for that

00:09:20.160 person and a marriage doesn't define that and i really hope you get that but there is a million

00:09:24.640 different factors that reason relationships break up and yeah of course as you try and also i don't

00:09:29.360 think a marriage i think there's a million stupid i think there's a million stupid factors that

00:09:34.320 marriages break up yeah yeah i think yeah i really do i think that women get divorced for a lot of

00:09:41.280 stupid reasons like what um financial i think is pretty dumb um not being happy anymore i think that's

00:09:50.240 pretty dumb um i think really anything outside of um i'll give you infidelity like if he gets another

00:09:57.440 girl pregnant i could give you i'm gonna give i'm gonna give you that one you're so generous

00:10:02.960 yeah thank you i am so thank you um i'm gonna say abuse there's one um and honestly i don't even

00:10:11.520 really believe in divorce i believe in separation you know and then you try to work it out but i'll

00:10:17.680 give you abuse i'll give you abuse i'll give you that um trying to think that's really it abuse

00:10:27.840 nowadays someone came on my pod and said you should get divorced for not doing the dishes so you know

00:10:34.160 where it just changed i guess um that's all i can think of those two that's what i got can i ask a

00:10:40.960 question because you said about sex and duty within a marriage so do you think the piece of paper that

00:10:44.960 says i do the marriage certificate gives is then lifelong consent to have sex with me no matter 0.83

00:10:51.600 the situation i don't i want to i want to i want to do one caveat it is not okay for him to forcefully

00:10:58.000 have sex with you ever okay but i think i think one i don't see the point of getting married if you 0.72

00:11:04.800 believe divorce is on the table for damn near anything what's the point be in a relationship don't

00:11:09.040 get married like i i just genuinely don't see the point i don't think there's many people that get into

00:11:12.800 a marriage and stand there on that day thinking oh i've got a way out in however many years i you

00:11:17.360 know but there's i think your actions speak louder than words so if you do it then you think it you

00:11:22.640 thought it at least once yeah um so i'd like that caveat that's that's not okay no no grape none of

00:11:30.480 that none of that but i think as a wife you should have sex with your husband whenever he wants pretty 1.00

00:11:37.200 much no matter what his behavior is or i don't think you should use sex to control your husband

00:11:42.800 i think that's wrong so i think it's actually he tries to use sex to control you um why do two wrongs

00:11:49.360 make a right are we on the playground yeah so so i i think a lot of women use sex to try to control 1.00

00:11:55.280 their husbands wrong wrong i think that's mean men need sex and i don't if you do that i don't feel

00:12:01.680 bad if you get cheated on i don't feel bad not even a little bit and i feel like they do that

00:12:06.800 sometimes because they're actually not strong enough to actually stand up in a situation when

00:12:11.680 they should so they use other anomalies to get out what has been swept under the mat rather than facing

00:12:19.600 that argument or facing what he done that was wrong at that moment at that time so that's like cooking

00:12:25.920 things like that like you stop doing them things rather than being direct and not being naive

00:12:31.120 and then like exert that in a whole like you said the wrong way instead of the right way

00:12:34.800 and communicating i think that if you want to get divorced for damn near anything just don't

00:12:39.280 get married like what's the point of getting married just just be in a relationship i had

00:12:44.720 someone i'm not going to name names destiny say that say that you should get divorced over chores 1.00

00:12:50.880 oh go get that's fine that's fine if you want to do that but what's then don't get married

00:12:56.480 marriage is supposed to be for sicker for poorer for better for worse 0.96

00:12:59.920 he did make it in quite a good point you're right it is a stupid reason but he did make it sound

00:13:05.920 quite he's gonna make it he's gonna he's gonna make a stupid point can i also point out though

00:13:11.120 that destiny is actually the only one married here though is it like an open marriage would you want

00:13:17.760 to make him not married yeah but like am i going to draw experience based you know i i had i have a

00:13:23.040 video coming out about this but i have an aunt you know and she expressed that like her concern was

00:13:27.520 she couldn't stay um like she was so frustrated with her husband right and she she was like he's 1.00

00:13:33.840 so messy i just couldn't deal with it and she's been married like 20 years and honestly she's one

00:13:38.160 of the most feminine women that i know like they're like she's just one of those ants that comes in you 1.00

00:13:42.000 know and you just feel like at home you know you know the aunt right she's like the sweetest lady

00:13:46.960 and she was like yeah i was so mad but then i thought every time i picked up my sock i would just

00:13:51.520 say i love you jason i love you roma because i was her husband and her son and she said i had to

00:13:57.280 change my thinking and stop complaining and just do it and think of it as doing something that i love

00:14:02.400 for them so like what's a better mindset get divorced over chores or learn how to learn how to love the

00:14:08.080 person because you're not perfect either and that's the thing i was just lost the word and i remember it

00:14:13.360 that that love she that moment she made a decision of it not being egotistic love and actually being

00:14:20.400 true love because she's now not trying to change a person or continue to be frustrated she's accepting

00:14:26.640 that person for who they are and making that work for her so if she has to tell herself that every

00:14:32.320 single time that works for her some people might just throw it and be like he could pick it up when

00:14:37.440 he comes in that might work for them but that's when love is not egotistic and it's true

JustPearlyThings - February 07, 2023

This Modern Woman Got TRIGGERED By This

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