JustPearlyThings - June 01, 2023


When Feminists Start Coping


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

210.3647

Word count

2,215

Sentence count

5

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode we talk about what it means to be in a committed relationship at 53 years old and how it is different from when you were in your 20s or 30s. We also talk about the difference between now and when someone was 25 and when they were 25 years old.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 oh maybe we don't have a man because we don't want men like the majority of the men okay so
00:00:05.440 it's not about you taking women it's about we like each other we find you know the match
00:00:10.960 so you cannot talk about women as someone they've been taken again so i can i learned something
00:00:17.440 today yeah yeah auntie we me and auntie had a conversation auntie explained to me i said are
00:00:23.440 you in a relationship she said yeah i'm in a relationship and i said does that so does that
00:00:26.880 mean you're not part of the 35 and over leftover women which was a topic that we were speaking 0.96
00:00:32.800 about at the time and she went i'm still part of that category and i said i don't get it like you're
00:00:37.440 in a relationship you've you've made it and she went no i have i've got i haven't got a ring so i'm
00:00:44.080 still a part of that category and i didn't get it because i was like why you're in a committed
00:00:49.360 relationship you where you well i'm in a committed relationship i'm a leftover oh i'm a leftover in
00:00:55.760 a committed relationship yes that was it and that's what i actually said and even when you
00:00:59.280 was talking about the value the difference with now is that yeah at 25 i was hot do you know i mean
00:01:06.400 i was hot slim hot you're still and that's nah yeah you are i'm just fooling myself no no no no no
00:01:14.480 i look hot for somebody at 53 do you know what i mean but i'm fooling myself that i look as hot as i
00:01:20.000 am at 53 as i did at 25. yeah i'm just the obsession is that the same man that i was with at 25 is the
00:01:26.000 same man that i was with now do you know what i mean but other than that no i would say that and
00:01:30.800 i'm not fooling myself to say that you know i mean i was lucky enough that he had my best years and he
00:01:35.920 still got my best years and i had his best years but at the end of the day i can't turn around and
00:01:40.400 say i'm better off for anybody else at 53 because when anybody else at 53 mostly got a wedding ring on
00:01:45.440 they'd be married or something like that but at the end of the day if it weren't for a fluke i'm
00:01:50.000 just like everybody else yeah i'm a leftover in a committed relationship and that's what women feel
00:01:56.000 to realize that yes before you think about oh i'm going to be single i'm going to be this and i'm
00:02:01.280 going to be that you've got to think to yourself you know what because before i started thinking
00:02:05.440 like that i was like you know i gotta get my pension i gotta get my own house i gotta get the
00:02:10.080 house done in case i'm disabled i gotta get my will gotta get my lpa because just in case
00:02:15.280 you end up on your own and you know something 32 years and i'm still got that mindset you know
00:02:20.160 what because i'm still left over because i've still got to think like that so i'm gonna think
00:02:24.080 to myself yeah i've been with the guy for like 30 something years i gotta i gotta still think like
00:02:28.160 that you know what because i've got no security but you're doing the right thing because i'm gonna
00:02:31.360 fool myself and say i've got the same worth to him as i was years ago or i look you know what i mean
00:02:36.800 oh yeah you're a hot come on i think we so the goal is marriage then is that the goal should always be
00:02:43.520 marriage because that's when you know what guy is committed to you and that's what i said you
00:02:47.360 can be a woman for today i was talking the other week and i was saying a man could be with you for
00:02:51.920 30 years 40 years 50 years whatever so there's a ring on your finger he's not committed to you he
00:02:56.080 can step out so you said you've been with the same person that you've been with since you were 25
00:03:00.720 no before that yeah since you were before 25 and did you have kids or no we got two separate
00:03:06.160 children you've got two so you've not had kids together no since since you know we haven't okay
00:03:12.160 that's interesting and i can go around and say oh yes when i was 35 i look really good and we could
00:03:17.680 try and have children together come on by the time you're 35 you think to yourself yeah i could have
00:03:21.440 had a kid at 35 of him but then you gotta think to yourself anyway how old am i going to be when the
00:03:25.840 kid goes nursery am i gonna be when i go and pick up my grandkids now i don't want to be going
00:03:30.960 picking up my child and they say who's that is that your grandma no it's my mummy and then
00:03:35.200 nowadays you're thinking about secondary school or university i don't want to be in those 70 years
00:03:40.880 old and kind of picking up my child and say oh yeah and you're playing with fire because um the
00:03:46.400 average if you want to freeze your eggs and go that route like that it costs like 25 000 there's
00:03:50.560 no guarantee it'll work the average person can't afford that no i'm just thinking it's interesting
00:03:54.720 because you said you were together from before you were 25 so what like 22 23 about that 22 23 and then
00:04:02.240 but you you were in the but like you guys said the best years of your life whatever and still
00:04:07.600 didn't have kids i'm still having them so you're still i'm still having them no no i'm just going
00:04:12.400 by what these i'm saying by the worth by the worth from the they said that i wouldn't have a child from
00:04:18.080 35 onwards so according to a man if a man wants to have a child and that that would have been the time 0.96
00:04:24.400 to get to have a child then not like 30 because by the time 30 comes we're like forget it you know
00:04:30.960 what i mean forget it because i'm putting my body through that by accord according what um say your
00:04:36.800 name again kb kb he said especially when a woman has a um a child with uh before that's the best year
00:04:45.120 also because there's a very strong close relationship between you know the your your
00:04:49.920 baby uh that and yourself right so but you are actually just showing that that's not true so yeah
00:04:57.760 because no no the difference is you don't know my story the difference is is that i had an abusive
00:05:03.200 relationship that's why i've got no hang-ups so there's a completely difference if it was a happy
00:05:07.520 relationship and i had my son and we left that'd be different but i number one i was on contraception
00:05:14.080 when i had my son so he wasn't planned and because of that reason that's why i decided to have one
00:05:19.280 child because i would say one is a mistake two can say it's an accident three is careless four and
00:05:25.680 above your what list so as far as i'm concerned i had one out of wedlock and that is it yeah but anyway
00:05:33.520 you had a child and your partner evaluate you anyways as a valuable valuable women so he actually spent 1.00
00:05:42.080 after the best year with you in this scenario i wouldn't judge that you know what i mean this is
00:05:48.080 just the best years with me i agree with you that what you guys saying it doesn't have any no no it's
00:05:55.120 not the same thing it's not me at that age yeah with you that you already had one mic one mic at that
00:06:00.880 age at between like say it was a 20 between that 20 and 30. i'm agree i'm agree if i wasn't with him
00:06:07.920 and i spent what they're trying to say is that if i'd met him at 30 why should he be faithful to me
00:06:14.720 when i've given my best years to some other man if i stayed with my baby father yeah until i was 30 and
00:06:21.440 then said you know what i'm gonna get back with the first one the one i'm with now why should he be
00:06:27.120 monogamous why should he stay with me because you have a lot of stuff no because i really give it up my
00:06:32.240 good life my good the best of my life when i was young free sexy agile fling my legs over my shoulders
00:06:40.000 was all between the ages of 20. look at her she knows because because she knows no i don't know
00:06:47.440 it's not valuable to men you don't you don't you don't have the youth and you don't have the purity
00:06:53.280 at 30. it's gone so it's you don't have what men value okay as i said first of all right now uh 20
00:07:00.160 years old a girl cannot have purity anymore because they probably lose the virginity when they 1.00
00:07:04.960 12 but let's forget about it so if that the point that means that every woman that uh as child 1.00
00:07:12.720 he had child before or he has relationship important relationship before could not have a
00:07:17.920 husband later and isolate of people that actually had child before and after they get married or whatever
00:07:24.880 so what do you mean that uh the men that actually you know wifey are is uh i don't know he's a bum 0.83
00:07:31.280 like a bum well men don't i don't care about your job like you could like you could do nothing and like 0.78
00:07:37.120 men do not give a like because you said earlier like i make money and i'm like well not to men that's
00:07:41.280 like a shoe collection to women like if a guy if a guy says if a guy says oh i have a cool shoe
00:07:45.280 shoe collection we're like oh that's cool but then we keep moving that's that's how men feel about work
00:07:48.880 about work okay so they they prefer a girl that like does nothing so she can like hang out with
00:07:54.240 them and like don't on them good yeah i mean as one one person can get married unemployed not two
00:08:03.280 yeah unless you look like michael b jordan honestly speaking um me myself because we're talking about
00:08:10.800 what a man is expecting from a woman but we're not talking about what a woman is expecting 1.00
00:08:15.280 is expecting from a man and then because we always hear it because we always know no no did you did
00:08:22.560 you in my point oh like you think like what we're talking about now is just a part of the you know
00:08:30.000 men in the world which is probably the majority but doesn't mean that is the totality guys so okay
00:08:37.040 anyway it's fine yeah we can we can keep saying that's the majority and i'm i'm done i'm fine with that
00:08:43.120 cool all right but again that's why that but we want that majority a man going out and saying okay
00:08:49.440 cool i want to go and find a virgin yeah and we're gonna go and find this virgin it's the same way you're 0.97
00:08:55.840 saying oh i'm gonna be this exception and i will find that guy who wants me no but no no no no no you
00:09:05.600 didn't get my point i don't give a shit to find the man who evaluate me because i know i know about 0.87
00:09:12.960 my value i don't need that man to recognize my value i don't give a shit if i gonna find him cool 0.85
00:09:19.920 but you if i don't i can stand on my own i'm paying my bills i got a job what i do what do i need a man
00:09:27.680 for okay okay to have sex but that's fine i can still have sex i have a question i have a question for 0.74
00:09:33.200 you how do you determine what your value is right i told you i told you a woman for me is an independent
00:09:39.440 women who can stand by his own can pay her bills he has the maturity to understand even when is the 0.79
00:09:45.520 right time to have a children because everyone can have a child anytime just you know and then
00:09:51.920 it's also about how we have our you know we kind of pattern we are so it's not just about having eggs
00:09:58.800 because honestly i prefer a women that stay without children instead that someone that doesn't deal 1.00
00:10:04.000 properly so question who is that valuable to what you just listed who is that valuable to you mean
00:10:10.000 who for who yeah who is that valuable to what you just myself i don't care about other people opinion
00:10:16.240 okay i i need to like that's just two people that i should like worry about god and myself not about
00:10:25.440 other men you don't know about no no no no no what should i care