JustPearlyThings - April 09, 2023


Why Modern Husbands Are CUCKS


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

222.78128

Word count

2,819

Sentence count

275

Harmful content

Misogyny

30

sentences flagged

Hate speech

18

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Join us as we talk about when it's time to throw in the towel and walk away from a marriage or a relationship. We discuss why it's so common for women to leave a marriage and why men are more selfless than women.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Do you feel like, let me ask you this Pearl, do you feel like in this generation now, a lot of women are so quick to throw in the towel? 0.95
00:00:07.560 Is that what you feel like?
00:00:08.620 Yes.
00:00:09.240 Yeah, and I agree.
00:00:10.240 I agree.
00:00:11.080 But that's men and women.
00:00:12.980 It's both ways, I feel like.
00:00:14.480 No, I don't.
00:00:15.060 Everyone's ready to throw it in the bin.
00:00:16.360 So I'm doing a documentary on the court system in the UK.
00:00:20.420 And I can tell you firsthand, men are not the first to throw in the towel.
00:00:24.360 They're not.
00:00:24.840 I've heard this multiple times.
00:00:26.540 There's a guy, there's a guy, so it might be for the kids, but the men are more selfless than the women because they care about the kids. 0.99
00:00:33.820 They'll stick it out for the kids.
00:00:35.440 There is a man, I just interviewed a guy.
00:00:38.200 I just, I just, I am talking about marriage.
00:00:41.500 She was married.
00:00:42.460 He has three daughters and he was married to a narcissist and he said that he would have stuck it out, but she wouldn't.
00:00:53.560 Wow.
00:00:54.020 So then one day he gets a call.
00:00:55.900 He can't go home.
00:00:57.220 She got a restraining order against him.
00:00:59.260 She accused him of abuse.
00:01:00.740 Wow.
00:01:01.280 And now he can't see his children.
00:01:02.960 Three daughters.
00:01:04.100 And he hasn't even gotten to fight in court in the last year.
00:01:08.520 And all he wants is just to see his kids, to bring his family together.
00:01:12.060 We hear this.
00:01:12.740 And this woman had no real reason. 0.99
00:01:15.360 And I'm telling you, I'm doing a documentary on this.
00:01:17.360 It's like the same story over and over again.
00:01:19.440 Because here the courts, think about if you're in a contract, right?
00:01:23.020 And person A gets everything by leaving.
00:01:25.560 They get the house.
00:01:26.260 They get the kids.
00:01:26.860 They get everything.
00:01:27.500 And person B, they lose everything.
00:01:30.600 Person B is always trying to please person A because they have more to lose.
00:01:35.120 So it changes the way we interact in relationships, in my opinion, where that's why we always have, like, women wearing the pants, especially in the West. 1.00
00:01:41.720 Because the men are always trying to appease the women. 0.99
00:01:44.200 Because they lose everything if they leave.
00:01:46.500 So, yeah, I do think women today throw in the towel. 1.00
00:01:48.880 And partially it's because they're paid to.
00:01:50.240 Hey, Pearl, I've had clients cry to me.
00:01:53.220 I've had, like, in law offices, the partners, I've had them cry to me over the years because of the divorce they're going through and not being able to see their kids.
00:02:03.940 And it's like, and we know statistically it's 80% of women that leave the relationships. 1.00
00:02:08.180 I've had grown-ass men cry to me about it.
00:02:11.420 Like, I've had that relationship where they're like, dude, and they just bawl.
00:02:14.200 Yeah, I know many men, I know men, I've met many men who are actually depressed and that's how they go into depression because they've lost their kids.
00:02:23.320 And the mother is usually being sparked for just not letting them see their kid, not giving them the right. 1.00
00:02:28.300 Can I say something, though?
00:02:29.720 I don't want to justify the thing that women sometimes, they can be evil and take their kids and use them against their husbands. 1.00
00:02:38.060 But you have to check how many marriages are made where the woman, she does everything, she goes to work. 1.00
00:02:43.820 Like, she takes care of kids, she does everything, and the man just goes to work and goes home and chills.
00:02:48.780 Like, you don't really know the reason why people divorce.
00:02:51.560 And, like, I believe there's so many marriages nowadays where...
00:02:53.840 Well, why did she have a kid with a guy that just sits at the couch all day? 1.00
00:02:57.660 Why did she pick him?
00:02:59.300 No, because most of the men, they say that, like, men in business or whatever, they're the same...
00:03:04.400 Men, by and large, make more than women. 0.81
00:03:06.460 Sorry?
00:03:06.900 Men, by and large, make more than women. 0.81
00:03:08.660 Yeah, I know.
00:03:09.460 But because they make more than women, they feel that they are able to, like, just go home and chill or watch the TV or go with their friends to drink a beer. 0.96
00:03:17.980 While the woman, she goes to work, she looks after the kids, she takes care of the house, she pays the bill, she does everything, basically. 1.00
00:03:25.840 Go ahead.
00:03:26.360 Please, please.
00:03:26.960 Okay, this is...
00:03:27.600 Literally, we talked about this today with Kirill.
00:03:29.500 So, this is really interesting.
00:03:31.080 And, again, this is going to be super offensive, so let's go viral.
00:03:33.820 So, first thing, okay, like, Messi, the football, soccer football player, his wife isn't leaving him because he doesn't do the dishes.
00:03:47.080 When the wife's like, I left him because he didn't do the chores. 0.96
00:03:49.120 It's like, is LeBron's wife leaving him because he doesn't do the dishes?
00:03:53.140 That's a bullshit reason.
00:03:54.380 It's not true.
00:03:54.980 Let me tell you what is true.
00:03:55.960 The answer is he's not.
00:03:57.900 If a wife is like, I'm leaving because my husband doesn't do chores, it's because he's not making enough money. 0.99
00:04:03.260 That's the reason.
00:04:04.060 And the stat...
00:04:05.260 Wow.
00:04:05.720 I'll make it very simple.
00:04:06.640 I hate this.
00:04:07.660 I told you it's going to be...
00:04:08.260 It's true.
00:04:09.080 So, I...
00:04:10.080 That makes sense.
00:04:10.960 Listen up.
00:04:11.580 I come home.
00:04:12.640 If you do the logic, I come home and I'm like, I just work like a 14-hour day.
00:04:15.900 I'm super tired.
00:04:17.360 You know, I...
00:04:18.340 Whatever.
00:04:19.240 Pull my portion next to my wife's G-Wagon that I got her. 0.58
00:04:21.640 She's very cool.
00:04:22.200 Everything's great.
00:04:23.400 And I'm freaking tired.
00:04:24.300 And I can see my wife, which we got four kids.
00:04:26.340 She's working really hard around the house.
00:04:29.040 And I'm like, honey, listen, let me just get a maid to come in and clean the house. 1.00
00:04:34.260 And my wife's like, no, no, I want to do this myself. 0.99
00:04:37.340 And I'm like, look, I know I'm not going to do it.
00:04:39.080 I'll tell you what I'm not going to.
00:04:39.660 I just worked 14 hours.
00:04:40.480 I'm going to touch a dish in my life.
00:04:41.620 And I told her, if I'm single, I have a full-time live-in maid. 0.82
00:04:43.980 And I'll literally get a nanny for myself if I'm single and she will just do everything. 1.00
00:04:48.160 So, finally, I convinced my wife to get a lady to come in and help around the house. 1.00
00:04:52.960 So, in comes like this hot 23-year-old Ukrainian girl that's now living in Estonia as a refugee.
00:04:58.000 And she's in there wiping everything.
00:04:59.960 And I see my wife do the side.
00:05:01.640 She never showed up again.
00:05:04.060 She never showed.
00:05:04.760 Gentlemen.
00:05:04.980 Why are you shouldn't have hired her?
00:05:05.900 Why is your wife scaring people? 1.00
00:05:08.060 I did it.
00:05:08.640 What I'm saying is, gentlemen, this is going to be offensive.
00:05:10.720 Listen up.
00:05:11.240 If you don't want to do dishes and you are successful enough to hire a maid, hire a hot maid. 0.99
00:05:16.640 And I promise your wife will do the damn dishes. 1.00
00:05:18.960 No one say that.
00:05:19.800 If your wife seems to kill, she won't feed it. 1.00
00:05:22.360 I want to give you guys a stat.
00:05:23.780 Wait.
00:05:24.060 No.
00:05:24.260 Wait.
00:05:25.200 Surprisingly, studies showed that the divorce rate among couples who share chores equally was 50% higher than among those where the wife does the majority of the work.
00:05:34.960 It's a financial thing.
00:05:35.940 I know, but I'm not saying because the man doesn't do it.
00:05:40.940 Because obviously the woman for nature, even in other religions, the woman is the one that she looks after the kids, after the house and everything. 0.98
00:05:48.320 But, like, at the same time, if a man can make, like, that type of amount of money that he can come home and chill, then why her wife should go to work and be like, oh, I have to take care of everything. 1.00
00:06:00.560 Like, if her wife can decide to be at home and be like, oh, I don't want to have, like, a really big career. 0.98
00:06:05.140 Do you think that successful men want their wives to work? 1.00
00:06:07.700 Does your wife work? 1.00
00:06:09.420 No.
00:06:09.960 I told her when I married her.
00:06:11.240 I said, I want my mom work. 0.91
00:06:12.860 My mom ought to earn my dad. 1.00
00:06:13.840 So my parents got divorced.
00:06:15.160 And I saw it as a kid.
00:06:16.560 I wasn't a dumb kid.
00:06:17.320 I'm like, I know why it's happening.
00:06:18.500 Because my mom started out earning my dad.
00:06:20.440 I told my wife.
00:06:21.180 I'm like, look, when we get married, I want my wife to be a stay-at-home mom.
00:06:24.860 I was very open about it.
00:06:25.760 Why?
00:06:26.360 Because I want my kids to have an experience I didn't have.
00:06:28.680 And I want to work my ass off to provide my kids that experience.
00:06:31.980 Okay.
00:06:32.380 Can I just put that in there?
00:06:33.440 The last guy I was hit with, even though he wanted me to have this and have that, he wanted me to do all of that, he did not want me to stay at home and raise kids.
00:06:42.700 He wanted me to go to work.
00:06:44.220 And I thought, well, listen, if you're the breadwinner and you're the alpha, why would you want to put so much pressure on me?
00:06:50.720 He ain't no alpha, Gail.
00:06:51.900 He ain't no alpha.
00:06:52.700 I want to say one thing.
00:06:53.760 He ain't no alpha.
00:06:54.380 Wait, wait, wait.
00:06:55.200 Go ahead.
00:06:55.540 One thing, guys.
00:06:56.400 You know what I mean?
00:06:57.300 So this is a topic that's come up here.
00:06:58.880 And I'm, so you're like, look, let's imagine we group men into two groups.
00:07:03.420 Okay?
00:07:04.040 Some men are slimy and they just have, you know, bad character and they mistreat you.
00:07:10.120 And maybe, you know, some of us were unfortunate enough to grow up with a father like that.
00:07:14.540 I just want to give a shout out to my dad, by the way, who never made a lot of money in his life.
00:07:18.160 He's still a mechanic to this day.
00:07:19.780 He's in his 60s.
00:07:20.580 He's never going to retire.
00:07:21.860 But man, did he give me a good example of a man who suffers in dignity.
00:07:24.700 My God, he just, he suffers in dignity.
00:07:26.800 And I know he fucking hates it.
00:07:28.260 Pardon my French.
00:07:29.360 But he suffered in dignity for me because, you know, he had a son, me.
00:07:33.960 So we can group the men into these two categories, the slime balls.
00:07:36.920 And then we have guys that like genuinely want an optimal outcome for their family.
00:07:40.520 Pearl, I think your dad sounds like he might be that kind of guy.
00:07:42.760 Are there any other, by the way, folks here with a guy with a dad like that?
00:07:46.260 Oh my goodness.
00:07:47.060 So about 50%.
00:07:48.100 You can see 50%.
00:07:49.160 Okay.
00:07:50.000 So, and this is a painful question to ask, but I would ask this question because if I'm
00:07:54.620 coaching a young man or woman in our company and they're continuously getting a negative
00:07:58.760 outcome, I would ask, well, if 50% of the guys are the good guys, why aren't they picking
00:08:03.340 you?
00:08:04.440 Like, why are you being picked by these guys that are problematic guys?
00:08:07.440 Because that's the experience you're describing.
00:08:09.200 What about, the good guys exist and they're picking somebody.
00:08:11.780 We exist.
00:08:12.700 Why are they picking you?
00:08:14.060 Maybe them slime balls know who to pre on and they just see it. 1.00
00:08:17.940 So why are you such a juicy target for that?
00:08:20.500 And why?
00:08:20.980 Why?
00:08:21.640 Because why are you going for it?
00:08:23.600 Well, guys, because of my, because of my personality.
00:08:26.480 Wait, wait, wait, this is, wait, wait, wait, this is my issue.
00:08:29.700 It's like, okay, once I'll give you one.
00:08:32.200 All right, but it's like girls will pick two, three, four, like at some point it's a pattern. 0.61
00:08:35.940 At some point it's you.
00:08:36.880 Because men can be very deceiving in the beginning.
00:08:39.300 They can be lovely.
00:08:40.660 They can be kind.
00:08:41.700 They can be generous.
00:08:42.480 No, no, no, no, no, no, that's the men, that's the men you pick.
00:08:45.180 That's half the men.
00:08:45.840 That's that.
00:08:46.360 Until you get to know them, give it three months, six months down the line, then we start giving them
00:08:50.700 conversations.
00:08:51.540 Shall we have the kids?
00:08:52.360 Shall we move in?
00:08:53.620 Do you want to do that?
00:08:54.920 Yeah, of course.
00:08:55.720 So we're speaking about love.
00:08:57.060 We're not trying to waste time here.
00:08:58.360 Are you a good judge of character?
00:08:59.040 We're either in or out.
00:09:00.460 Are you a good judge of character?
00:09:02.140 Um, I think so.
00:09:03.680 Well, that doesn't sound like it.
00:09:05.060 No, it is.
00:09:06.120 Because at the end of the day, if you come across a good man, he's hardworking.
00:09:10.540 He's very dedicated to his own game.
00:09:12.740 He's alpha male.
00:09:14.300 And da, da, da, da, da.
00:09:15.100 You know, you're going to give him that time of day because you think, oh, I like this
00:09:18.900 energy.
00:09:19.360 I like this man.
00:09:20.320 So where's that man in your life?
00:09:21.300 He's giving me, me.
00:09:22.500 I have so many to pick from and I haven't chose yet.
00:09:25.920 Yeah.
00:09:26.200 Okay.
00:09:26.420 I have many that I can actually say, I can settle down with you cap.
00:09:32.620 No, no, no, babe.
00:09:33.920 Real.
00:09:34.280 I can show you my taxes.
00:09:35.660 I'm not talking about texts.
00:09:37.140 I'm just saying any girl.
00:09:38.520 I will never cap.
00:09:39.400 It's not just you.
00:09:39.640 It's just listen, listen, listen, listen.
00:09:41.160 I have options.
00:09:41.620 It's any, any, any, it's any girl.
00:09:44.280 If you're, if you're single, the guys, if you're, if you're single, it's like, then
00:09:47.720 you're not, the guys you want don't want you.
00:09:49.560 I'm on the journey.
00:09:50.280 I want to be a multi-millionaire.
00:09:51.760 If you're.
00:09:52.060 So no, I can't do it.
00:09:53.860 If you're single, it's, oh, come on.
00:09:54.980 And if a guy, if a guy really, you thought was taking you serious and checked all your
00:09:58.320 boxes, you'd go for it.
00:09:59.480 Any woman would. 0.96
00:10:00.300 Yeah, but I'm a picky person.
00:10:02.240 But that's, that's my point.
00:10:03.840 I'm a picky person.
00:10:04.500 That's my, that goes back to my point though, because the men, the men that are going for
00:10:08.060 you don't live up to your standards.
00:10:09.440 So either your standards are too high or the men aren't going for you.
00:10:12.620 There's one particular person and I'm like, wow, you really did do that.
00:10:16.740 Like he really, and I'm really shocked and I'm really proud of the man he's become.
00:10:20.760 And I've known him for many years and you know, we could have been in a relationship
00:10:24.560 say 15 years ago, but I was like, no, I've come to London and I'm on a journey and I
00:10:30.160 don't want to be distracted by these guys.
00:10:32.040 Cause guess what?
00:10:32.860 They're going to breathe, give a baby to you. 0.97
00:10:37.360 No, not necessarily.
00:10:39.060 Of course you do.
00:10:39.580 I'm on a journey.
00:10:40.980 How can I be judging characters when I'm on a journey?
00:10:43.460 I have a question.
00:10:44.160 You said, do you have kids?
00:10:45.880 No, I don't.
00:10:46.280 You have kids and you said you're 39.
00:10:47.800 Yes.
00:10:48.200 Do you want kids?
00:10:48.840 Um, with the right person.
00:10:50.880 If I don't, I have many nieces and nephews.
00:10:53.840 Okay.
00:10:54.220 So, but, but it goes back to, you haven't found the right person to have kids with.
00:10:59.820 So, so again, again, again, right.
00:11:02.940 So, so there's, there's, there's a mis, there's a misconnect.
00:11:05.640 There has been right people.
00:11:07.440 Wait, wait.
00:11:08.200 So it's either your standards, it's either your standards are too high.
00:11:11.320 Very high.
00:11:11.900 You don't know how to pick.
00:11:13.660 And maybe you don't have a good judge of character or the men that you want, don't want
00:11:17.260 you, it's one of the three, like there has to be, maybe the guys who I wanted, they probably
00:11:22.420 don't want me no more because we were in a different category.
00:11:26.840 He's in, he's far away.
00:11:28.600 I would have to move to his location and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.
00:11:32.200 And then the ones in England, I don't know.
00:11:35.280 They're just fine.
00:11:36.060 But see, you know, I'm working for me.
00:11:37.540 They're not that homie. 1.00
00:11:38.660 You've been, you've been dating, you've been dating since what?
00:11:40.680 You're 18, 16.
00:11:42.240 So in 20 years, you're the only common denominator.
00:11:44.780 It can't be all the men.
00:11:46.040 It's you.
00:11:46.660 It's not me though.
00:11:49.360 Because if I have some guys that are ready and waiting for me to say yes, you know what
00:11:57.580 I mean?
00:11:58.140 That's just my choice.
00:11:59.040 But you know, it might be your life choices.
00:12:01.960 It is.
00:12:02.320 It might be, but it goes back to, you're the common denominator.
00:12:05.100 Just like my outcomes, it's my fault.
00:12:08.420 Everyone's own outcomes are their own fault.
00:12:10.460 It's choices though.
00:12:11.840 Hey, can I give up?
00:12:12.620 I really think it's the energy that she's putting that because you're in your, you're
00:12:17.740 in your place where you want to go high up in life.
00:12:19.960 You're also not giving those energy to those men.
00:12:22.260 That's why things ain't happening as well.
00:12:23.700 I know I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:12:30.920 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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