Louder with Crowder - September 25, 2026


BTS: A Beautiful Day for Violence in the Neighborhood

Hosted by
Mentioned
Trump's Clutch W Invokes Absolute Meltdown From Trans Radicals

Episode Stats


Length

18 minutes

Words per minute

164.83

Word count

3,074

Sentence count

366


Transcript

Transcripts from "Louder with Crowder" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:57.000 What does overpaying on your taxes feel like?
00:01:55.000 About like that.
00:01:57.000 Don't let the IRS bust your balls.
00:01:59.000 Visit tnusa.comslash Crowder for immediate relief and expert guidance.
00:02:05.000 Boom.
00:02:16.000 I don't know.
00:02:18.000 Subject for today Just angry.
00:02:37.000 Did that go out?
00:02:39.000 Oh, thanks, Rob.
00:02:39.000 Me talking over the intro because Toolman didn't give me the countdown.
00:02:43.000 And I was like, wait, it was like, oh, sorry.
00:02:44.000 I'm like, I don't even have a microphone, so I don't know what you heard.
00:02:47.000 But apologies to the Jews.
00:02:51.000 Just in case.
00:02:52.000 Yes.
00:02:53.000 We were kidding.
00:02:55.000 Sort of.
00:02:56.000 No one will ever know.
00:02:59.000 It's Friday, which means it's a grab bag.
00:03:02.000 You know, usually we do like a show, like we do, obviously, most Fridays, just a normal live show.
00:03:06.000 We're covering the news, and you have a couple of segments in there.
00:03:08.000 We take your chat.
00:03:08.000 And sometimes we go, there's so much out there that didn't make air, usually rightfully so.
00:03:15.000 Yes.
00:03:16.000 And it feels wrong using the word rightfully, like wrongfully so.
00:03:19.000 In other words, it was too wrong to make air.
00:03:22.000 And we say, okay, scrap that.
00:03:23.000 Yeah.
00:03:23.000 There's no way that should see the light of day.
00:03:26.000 And sometimes we have disagreements.
00:03:27.000 Yes.
00:03:28.000 Of what should be scrapped and what should be scrapped.
00:03:30.000 Not much today.
00:03:31.000 Not much today.
00:03:32.000 Not much disagreement.
00:03:34.000 Pretty much.
00:03:35.000 So, like, yeah, we're not going to run that.
00:03:38.000 Not.
00:03:39.000 So it shouldn't see the light of day.
00:03:41.000 So here's the day where it does.
00:03:43.000 It's time for Scrapyard.
00:03:47.000 I couldn't even get a puff in.
00:03:48.000 Captain Morgan, CEO, how are you?
00:03:52.000 Fantastic.
00:03:53.000 How are you?
00:03:54.000 I am fine.
00:03:55.000 Did you have Tim do that?
00:03:57.000 Were you two in on that to try it?
00:03:59.000 No, I just, you know, normally I'm kind of nice to Tim, but right before the show, I get angry at Tim because I know what's coming.
00:04:04.000 I know he's going to admonish me at some point, and so I just give him a hard time.
00:04:07.000 Wait, you think you're usually nice to Tim?
00:04:09.000 Outside of the studio.
00:04:10.000 Is that what you think?
00:04:11.000 Is that what you think?
00:04:12.000 You think that you're usually nice to him?
00:04:14.000 It's not nice.
00:04:15.000 Because I think so.
00:04:16.000 We just.
00:04:18.000 We just hit on something.
00:04:19.000 Uh oh.
00:04:19.000 Watch.
00:04:20.000 Okay.
00:04:20.000 I'm going to go on the flip side.
00:04:22.000 Gerald, don't look at him.
00:04:23.000 Tim, don't look at him.
00:04:25.000 Is your impression that you are nice to Gerald?
00:04:28.000 Wait, is it nice?
00:04:29.000 Do you think, no, do you think that you are nice to Gerald?
00:04:32.000 Of course.
00:04:34.000 Honest answer.
00:04:35.000 During the show or outside the show?
00:04:38.000 In this.
00:04:39.000 Oh, no.
00:04:40.000 No, exactly.
00:04:40.000 See, you're honest.
00:04:42.000 Yeah.
00:04:42.000 You're honest.
00:04:43.000 Gerald's like, I'm nice to him.
00:04:45.000 And Tim's like, oh, no, I'm absolutely not nice.
00:04:47.000 That's the problem.
00:04:47.000 Outside of the studio, I am nice to him.
00:04:50.000 Inside the studio, he gets what he deserves.
00:04:53.000 Son of a cunt.
00:04:56.000 See, this is how misunderstandings happen, Gerald, because you're not specific about what you're saying.
00:05:01.000 See, and that's not nice to do, but Gerald thinks he's just one of the guys being nice.
00:05:05.000 He thinks he's the nice guy.
00:05:06.000 I am.
00:05:07.000 I think I look forward to the explainers of the admonishment more than the admonishment.
00:05:10.000 Yeah, me too.
00:05:11.000 Me too.
00:05:11.000 It's become its own thing.
00:05:12.000 Yeah.
00:05:13.000 A little tag.
00:05:14.000 All right, that's enough, Gerald.
00:05:14.000 Go leg kick a small female child.
00:05:17.000 Fine.
00:05:17.000 And you can see all of his.
00:05:19.000 I love how he just, like, okay, that's what I do.
00:05:22.000 See?
00:05:23.000 Don't.
00:05:23.000 Fight it too hard.
00:05:25.000 You can argue it.
00:05:26.000 I'll be back.
00:05:27.000 You can see all his dates at jfirestein.com.
00:05:30.000 Go support live comedy.
00:05:31.000 Mr. Firestein, how are you?
00:05:32.000 I'm good.
00:05:33.000 No one's been mean to me yet.
00:05:35.000 Sure, they have.
00:05:36.000 Really?
00:05:36.000 It's just behind your back.
00:05:37.000 Oh, don't do that to me.
00:05:38.000 They've been so nice.
00:05:39.000 All right.
00:05:40.000 We got to get to Scrapyard.
00:05:41.000 We got to get to all this stuff that we shouldn't be getting to.
00:05:45.000 And then, by the way, we also merge this Scrapyard and BTS because Scrapyard can be bad for the soul if it goes on too long.
00:05:53.000 Then we mix it with some fun.
00:05:54.000 Like, BTS.
00:05:55.000 It's like, sure, you saw something that's awful.
00:05:56.000 Let's It's going to make that you shouldn't, that wasn't funny.
00:05:58.000 It just makes you sad.
00:05:59.000 So here you go, it's us in Wardrobe.
00:06:02.000 First, this one.
00:06:03.000 I don't remember.
00:06:04.000 Maybe we should put dates on these for Scrapyard going forward.
00:06:06.000 You're going to remember this one.
00:06:08.000 I remember when.
00:06:09.000 This was one that was requested by you a while ago.
00:06:13.000 Stop, because I don't know if that's true.
00:06:15.000 Just to be clear, I am instructed to not read or go through these with Scrapyard because they're like, yeah, part of the fun is you remembering as it happens and then not wanting to do it.
00:06:27.000 So, uh, sometimes you know it's quality, sometimes it's just like the level of quality of a person's ideas why it doesn't make it, Gerald's.
00:06:34.000 Sometimes it's too dark.
00:06:36.000 We covered this beef on X between Y Combinator founder Paul Graham and Palmer Lucky, the CEO of Andurl.
00:06:44.000 And we had an idea that we just couldn't bring ourselves to put on the show because it was about, I believe, if I'm not mistaken, I can't remember which one was the good guy.
00:06:54.000 Palmer.
00:06:55.000 Palmer Lucky.
00:06:56.000 Who was talking about H 1Bs and all of that.
00:06:58.000 And he also was selling arms to the government.
00:07:00.000 We probably should have that context because I need to remember the context.
00:07:03.000 He was selling some cool weaponry to the United States.
00:07:05.000 It seems like you remember it.
00:07:06.000 And he was also talking about H 1Bs and how he employed Americans.
00:07:08.000 Now, H 1B, you know, he warned against them.
00:07:10.000 So we had an idea we couldn't put in the show, but we did make it.
00:07:13.000 It was hey, here's his next invention.
00:07:16.000 You now have fun.
00:07:35.000 We're like, yeah, maybe we shouldn't run that because we want to have him on a show one day.
00:07:44.000 Yeah, H1B.
00:07:44.000 A couple of things.
00:07:46.000 Can someone pull the clips of it so people remember the context of it?
00:07:49.000 We need the context of the actual weapons that he sold.
00:07:51.000 So, a couple of things.
00:07:51.000 That was a little of column A, a little of column B. First off, it's horrifying.
00:07:55.000 I condemn it.
00:07:56.000 Absolutely.
00:07:57.000 It's also a quality issue.
00:07:59.000 It's also a quality issue when you have intercut scenes from the actual RoboCop motion picture and models that look like they're from GoldenEye 64.
00:08:08.000 So it's both.
00:08:11.000 AI is both fantastic and terrible at the same time.
00:08:15.000 Yes.
00:08:15.000 And this is what you get making Indians, okay?
00:08:17.000 Give it time.
00:08:18.000 We thought, we're like, man, we spend so much time doing Photoshop and sketches and rotoscoping.
00:08:22.000 We're like, AI is going to make our life easier.
00:08:24.000 And it still ends up being about 50 50.
00:08:26.000 Where we're like, well, I guess we just got to make it ourselves.
00:08:28.000 And you see the new editor in MS Paint?
00:08:30.000 I don't know.
00:08:30.000 A light bulb and a slinky.
00:08:35.000 All right.
00:08:36.000 I have to write this.
00:08:37.000 Well, the problem is that it's not actually AI, it's actually just a bunch of Indians in a warehouse doing the work for you.
00:08:44.000 Yeah.
00:08:44.000 And then they saw our prompt and they were like, no.
00:08:47.000 No, that's why we couldn't run it.
00:08:49.000 No.
00:08:49.000 That's actual news footage with just a scanner darkly filter.
00:08:55.000 So, whoopie Goldberg.
00:08:57.000 Here's one.
00:08:57.000 Oh, good.
00:08:59.000 Uh,.
00:09:00.000 We go through a lot of like, sort of like, watch and reacts.
00:09:03.000 Now, it's different the way we do it here because, like, you'll see reaction videos where someone will just play a video and it's just them in a corner going, uh huh.
00:09:08.000 Yeah.
00:09:09.000 Oh, well, yeah.
00:09:10.000 Well, you didn't do anything.
00:09:10.000 You're just stealing content.
00:09:12.000 Well, that's not right.
00:09:13.000 Which, yeah, well, I don't agree with that.
00:09:15.000 Yeah.
00:09:16.000 I don't know.
00:09:17.000 I'm not doing an impression.
00:09:18.000 No.
00:09:19.000 Well, I was.
00:09:20.000 No, I wasn't.
00:09:21.000 But the best impressions go to Super Grok.
00:09:24.000 Yeah.
00:09:25.000 Sponsoring the show.
00:09:25.000 Now I don't understand it at all.
00:09:32.000 So.
00:09:33.000 We go through them, but we actually only take one if we think we can create some content or some kind of a sketch, you know, transformative.
00:09:40.000 That used to be the law, which is also why X, by the way, to their credit, they've been changing their monetization where people who are just clip farms who just take clips, clips, and they make a lot of money, they can no longer make a career off of just taking other people's content.
00:09:54.000 You have to be the original content creator.
00:09:55.000 So that's good because you'd get like 15 million plays on X where someone just re uploaded something.
00:10:02.000 Yeah.
00:10:03.000 And the problem is, no one wanted to correct it because that would happen where someone would re upload something from a change of mind.
00:10:06.000 I'm like, okay, well, cool.
00:10:07.000 I'm glad it's getting out there, but, you know, we have to compete against ourselves.
00:10:12.000 So we'll look for these watch and reacts.
00:10:13.000 And here's one of those where the juice just wasn't worth the squeeze.
00:10:18.000 I guess this was back in July.
00:10:19.000 Whoopi Goldberg saw the unveiling of a new statue that was modeled after herself in Italy.
00:10:40.000 Oh, it goes all the way.
00:10:46.000 Her head's huge.
00:10:47.000 Can I touch it?
00:10:51.000 I'm glad she got consent.
00:10:54.000 Yeah, from Moby.
00:10:55.000 Let me touch it with my smallest finger.
00:11:00.000 Thank you, Moby.
00:11:02.000 What are you talking about, toolman?
00:11:03.000 You start with a pinky.
00:11:04.000 You pet it with a pinky.
00:11:05.000 You start with a pinky.
00:11:06.000 You test the waters.
00:11:07.000 What?
00:11:08.000 It's not cocaine.
00:11:09.000 What?
00:11:10.000 That's not what he was saying.
00:11:11.000 Are you sure?
00:11:12.000 Let's move along before we have another scrap yard episode.
00:11:17.000 So, this was not worth the squeeze.
00:11:18.000 We watched it.
00:11:19.000 We're like, wow, I don't really.
00:11:19.000 Is it kind of like Medusa?
00:11:20.000 Is it kind of.
00:11:21.000 So, we created this.
00:11:23.000 We said, here, let me just set it up for you.
00:11:24.000 And then you'll understand why it's a scripture.
00:11:27.000 Okay, hold on.
00:11:28.000 Let me make sure I get this all ready the pomp and circumstance so that you can properly be disappointed.
00:11:35.000 There's actually two of these guarding the gates of hell.
00:11:40.000 See, that's great.
00:11:41.000 You think that's a good idea?
00:11:43.000 That someone had?
00:11:44.000 I kind of like it, actually.
00:11:45.000 Yeah.
00:11:45.000 That one's not terrible.
00:11:48.000 Well, I personally think it was worth more than that.
00:11:53.000 Of course, Gerald does.
00:11:54.000 Mediocrity is his kitchen.
00:11:55.000 That's true.
00:11:56.000 Yes, of course.
00:11:57.000 I'll work from there.
00:12:00.000 And why do I have this in here?
00:12:01.000 The sculpture was created by Italian artist Iago.
00:12:04.000 That's part of the old story.
00:12:05.000 We've got a credit for that.
00:12:06.000 So we decided to put that after the punchline.
00:12:08.000 We're like, once we make sure people know that this whole story is not funny enough anyway, we'll add some information to reel them back in.
00:12:15.000 Well, just in case they want to buy one for their house.
00:12:17.000 Ah, right.
00:12:17.000 Okay.
00:12:18.000 You want to hire him, he's available.
00:12:20.000 Iago Moby.
00:12:20.000 Is Moby still alive?
00:12:22.000 I don't know.
00:12:22.000 Well, somebody will fix that.
00:12:23.000 I don't know.
00:12:24.000 I think he got killed by Obi.
00:12:29.000 20 year old fag clone, you don't know me.
00:12:32.000 You're too old.
00:12:34.000 Let go.
00:12:35.000 Nobody listen to techno.
00:12:38.000 That's not true.
00:12:39.000 Oh, that's right.
00:12:39.000 Here's a good time.
00:12:40.000 Hey, you know what?
00:12:40.000 Since now, do we have your attention?
00:12:43.000 We have your curiosity, my friend?
00:12:44.000 Perfect time to let you know that Foundation.
00:12:49.000 It's the only other company I have.
00:12:51.000 And by the way, if you're not a subscriber, well, if you're watching this, you're probably a subscriber.
00:12:54.000 But hey, you know what?
00:12:54.000 Even as you move forward, If you're like, I have subscription fatigue, you know what?
00:12:58.000 Subscribing.
00:12:59.000 If you take a multivitamin, you want the best in the world that's lab tested, that uses clinically proven ingredients at their clinically proven doses.
00:13:06.000 You can also subscribe at foundationdaily.com.
00:13:08.000 And it ends up being another way to support us where you don't have to sign up for another subscription service because I understand a lot of people have fatigue with that.
00:13:15.000 So you can go to foundationdaily.com, become a subscriber.
00:13:17.000 If you set it up on AutoShip, you get 40% off for life and you can read all the science behind it.
00:13:23.000 I genuinely, it's what I've been taking for about 12, I don't know, 15 years.
00:13:27.000 And probably wouldn't be able to get out of bed with the old knees without the two Americans in there.
00:13:32.000 Definitely helps out a lot.
00:13:33.000 You have a creepy smile right now, Gerald, and I don't know why.
00:13:36.000 Oh, because you mentioned your knees.
00:13:37.000 No, no, not that at all.
00:13:41.000 I'm just thinking of Whoopi, and I don't like her at all.
00:13:43.000 Oh, you're back to the thing that I clearly wanted to move on from.
00:13:48.000 Please.
00:13:48.000 Yes, it's a scrapyard show.
00:13:50.000 Yeah.
00:13:51.000 She just had to pretend you saw the look on her face.
00:13:55.000 She was like, her, the statue, which Whoopi?
00:13:57.000 Exactly.
00:13:57.000 It's like, what the hell did I say?
00:13:59.000 It's like looking into a mirror, child.
00:14:03.000 I just feel like there's some kind of justice in that.
00:14:05.000 She can't say it sucks.
00:14:07.000 Like, this is the world she wanted.
00:14:08.000 How'd you capture my essence?
00:14:11.000 Do you steal my soul?
00:14:13.000 Oh, look at the line that goes back.
00:14:15.000 I'm looking at my face looking like a demon, okay?
00:14:17.000 You know what the thing is about Whoopi?
00:14:19.000 I don't like her.
00:14:20.000 I don't like her perspective, but she does.
00:14:22.000 She is the only person there who is obviously.
00:14:25.000 She says things that are just as stupid as any other leftist, for sure.
00:14:29.000 But she will listen to opposing views.
00:14:32.000 And she will tell people, like, hey, come on, don't boo, whatever.
00:14:36.000 Tick cruise.
00:14:37.000 And then people are like, fuck you.
00:14:38.000 And she's like, hey.
00:14:40.000 So, like, I. What happened to Sneakyo?
00:14:46.000 Did this happen?
00:14:47.000 Something like that.
00:14:48.000 Like, hey, hey, don't poo a sitting senator.
00:14:51.000 Go fuck yourself.
00:14:52.000 Hey, hey, hey.
00:14:53.000 That's Whoopi in a nutshell.
00:14:54.000 So I have more appreciation.
00:14:56.000 Like, her opinions are radical left, but her approach is one where she is willing to listen to opposition.
00:15:02.000 So I'll give her that credit.
00:15:03.000 Also, she looks like she would be right next to the book and the page master, where you just blow off dust.
00:15:11.000 And she'd be like, hey, I've been here for years.
00:15:15.000 Okay.
00:15:17.000 Who disturbed my slumber?
00:15:19.000 You see why I went back to it?
00:15:21.000 I do, I do, I do.
00:15:24.000 Oh, there you go.
00:15:26.000 All right.
00:15:27.000 Next one.
00:15:28.000 Scrapyard.
00:15:30.000 Let's reiterate.
00:15:32.000 Scrapyard.
00:15:34.000 Dad, don't judge me.
00:15:37.000 Thank God what didn't make it here were the German viewers on the Depends Photoshop as lingerie.
00:15:43.000 Yeah.
00:15:43.000 Because that was gross just to us.
00:15:45.000 Like, while we were writing the bits, we're like, and then he says, like, Oh, I think I made a you didn't, and we're like, Oh, I don't want to.
00:15:52.000 I think I made a poopy, it's a gooey.
00:15:55.000 I think that my depends are fit.
00:15:57.000 I think I made a you didn't, and I was like, No, no, it's a Nazi who has a weird fetish.
00:16:06.000 Uh huh.
00:16:07.000 Oh, no, I just said that out loud.
00:16:09.000 Do you hear that you didn't behind me?
00:16:12.000 Is there a Hitler bad button?
00:16:13.000 Oh, there he is.
00:16:15.000 He's always talking.
00:16:16.000 Oh, this, this.
00:16:18.000 See, I just almost got into something worse.
00:16:20.000 I'm like, Thank God, I didn't.
00:16:21.000 There we go.
00:16:22.000 Of course, it was covered.
00:16:23.000 This is, I used to early on in stand up.
00:16:26.000 Johnny Boy remembers this.
00:16:28.000 I had Hitler doing stand up and I would do it as a character.
00:16:32.000 Oh, wow.
00:16:32.000 Like Hitler, and it would be like, I'd be like, so what do you, and it didn't really work, but it was an act.
00:16:37.000 I was going to ask you if it worked.
00:16:40.000 No.
00:16:42.000 Because I kept finding myself having to say in the middle of it, Hitler doing stand up, people.
00:16:51.000 They're like, yeah, we get it.
00:16:53.000 It was all because I remember Johnny Boy and I sitting down at This restaurant, Arahova in Montreal, where he got what he refers to as cheese water.
00:16:59.000 It was his water came out and it smelled like cheese, the glass.
00:17:02.000 I don't know why.
00:17:03.000 And we were like, what if Hitler did stand up?
00:17:05.000 But the whole bit was him and I just laughing our ass off at the premise.
00:17:08.000 So the whole thing, and I didn't know where to go.
00:17:10.000 I'd be like, so if Hitler did stand up, I bet you would probably be like, and people go, oh, I go, no, Look, guys, I know what you're thinking.
00:17:15.000 It's not what you think, okay?
00:17:18.000 Just give me a moment of grace.
00:17:19.000 And if you don't like it, then I won't do it.
00:17:20.000 It's not what you think, all right?
00:17:22.000 How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
00:17:26.000 And that was the whole bit.
00:17:27.000 And people go, oh, it was for that reaction.
00:17:30.000 And then it was like six unions, five to screw in the light bulb, and one to say, that's not light bulb, that's Zycran B!
00:17:40.000 Hitler doing stand up, people!
00:17:43.000 That's the point.
00:17:46.000 I think it works.
00:17:47.000 No.
00:17:48.000 No.
00:17:48.000 Well, the good news is that's the perfect segue.
00:17:53.000 We in comedy do segues to this next thing that equally doesn't work.
00:17:57.000 So AI is still a work in progress.
00:18:00.000 We don't always know what we're going to get.
00:18:03.000 And sometimes it's a surprise.
00:18:05.000 And here's the thing usually with AI, if we want to do a Photoshop, what would you say if it refuses to do it like nine times out of 10 that it says, I can't do that because it's too controversial?
00:18:15.000 It's too controversial.
00:18:16.000 It's too graphic.
00:18:16.000 It can't include a celebrity.
00:18:18.000 I can't include violence, like that kind of stuff.
00:18:19.000 Right.
00:18:20.000 Nudity.
00:18:20.000 Yeah.
00:18:20.000 Usually.
00:18:21.000 But then every now and then, it makes it worse.
00:18:26.000 So first off, remember this sketch?
00:18:30.000 Hey, boss.
00:18:31.000 I just wanted to clear something up.
00:18:32.000 When you said to fill the boiler, Did you mean with coal or with meth?
00:18:38.000 Coal.
00:18:39.000 Right.