Louder with Crowder - Do Politics Matter in Relationships? | Ash Wednesday

00:00:02.000 Subject for today.

00:00:04.000 Yeah, I do love this cigar.

00:00:24.000 Hold on a second.

00:00:25.000 Someone else start talking because I realize the band is on here.

00:00:28.000 It's morning and I don't want people to know my favorite cigar because there's a shortage.

00:00:32.000 Oh my gosh.

00:00:33.000 So, uh, hello Ash... It's too late.

00:00:37.000 It was on camera.

00:00:38.000 Michael Knoll has already taken the phone.

00:00:41.000 You can't see that.

00:00:42.000 Don't know nothing about this.

00:00:43.000 Welcome to Ash Wednesday.

00:00:45.000 I'm not going to give you my favorite cigar because it's all for me.

00:00:49.000 Half-Asian lawyer Bill Richmond is here.

00:00:50.000 Reg is here in studio.

00:00:51.000 Thank you.

00:00:52.000 Audio Wade.

00:00:53.000 Quarterback Garrett.

00:00:53.000 This is where you can send your requests to us at lotto.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.

00:01:12.000 Of course.

00:01:13.000 Someone up there in the duck blind, I don't know, was like, yep.

00:01:17.000 Thank God for Spotify podcast.

00:01:19.000 That Rogan showed him who's boss. 0.99

00:01:24.000 That was my shitty duck call. 0.99

00:01:25.000 And now they're mad. 0.99

00:01:27.000 I can't do it.

00:01:27.000 Well it's great for our topic today because I know our first question is everyone's favorite impression of duck calls.

00:01:33.000 Great lead-in. 0.91

00:01:33.000 And that's just where mine is where I do my impression of Duck Dynasty and I condemn the homosexuals. 0.91

00:01:39.000 I'm joking. 0.74

00:01:40.000 He didn't really condone it.

00:01:41.000 He just said it was gross.

00:01:41.000 This is, of course, Many People Have Forgotten, Officer David Dorn, who was killed serving his community in the riots.

00:01:49.000 We didn't, so you can buy this shirt at louderthepowdershop.com and every nickel, every dime, every loonie, every toonie, every peso will go to the family of David Dorn to hopefully help support him.

00:02:03.000 Because a lot of these people, you know, they're forgotten.

00:02:05.000 This is one thing the left does really well.

00:02:07.000 They remember a lot of people, often false heroes, whether it's people like Mike Brown or, you know, a lot of these people in the Black Lives Matter movement, and then we sort of find out what actually happened and they just sort of deify the person regardless of actions.

00:02:19.000 This was a good man.

00:02:20.000 This was a man who served his community.

00:02:21.000 This was a man who There was no reason for him to die, and I think, from what we know, pretty good role model.

00:02:29.000 Also, hit the notification bell because subscriptions don't mean a whole lot, and you can subscribe on the iTunes.

00:02:34.000 Is that it?

00:02:35.000 Yes, the iTunes.

00:02:36.000 Some kind of Apple podcast.

00:02:37.000 Some kind of musical singing robot.

00:02:40.000 I don't know, but when you hit subscribe, Elon Musk hits a blunt.

00:02:45.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:02:45.000 I don't know. 0.71

00:02:46.000 What's the pairing of the week?

00:02:47.000 The pairing of the week is...

00:02:50.000 LFD.

00:02:50.000 Anniversio and Makers 46.

00:02:53.000 Anniversario.

00:02:54.000 I'm not ethnic. 1.00

00:02:56.000 You're a horrible Mexican. 1.00

00:02:59.000 It's not very good at it. 1.00

00:03:01.000 What was that?

00:03:02.000 I don't know.

00:03:02.000 What were you doing?

00:03:03.000 You were doing the skipper?

00:03:05.000 My pairing is espresso with Jameson.

00:03:09.000 It is early.

00:03:10.000 That sounds absolutely terrible.

00:03:12.000 Well thank you for your pairing.

00:03:13.000 That's LaFleur Dominicana. 0.98

00:03:16.000 I know that Rush Limbaugh and Dennis Prager both really like LaFleur Dominicana.

00:03:19.000 It's not really my speed.

00:03:21.000 I don't tend to like Dominican tobacco a whole bunch.

00:03:23.000 My speed?

00:03:24.000 Speed.

00:03:24.000 Sometimes I like a speed ball.

00:03:28.000 I'm dragging myself into deep waters because I don't know what a speedball is.

00:03:33.000 Is it methamphetamine with?

00:03:35.000 Is it coke with?

00:03:37.000 I think it's coke and heroin, right?

00:03:38.000 Is it?

00:03:38.000 Really?

00:03:39.000 No, it's one of those things you put into the dryer so your clothes can dry.

00:03:44.000 Oh, I thought that was a ShamWow. 0.87

00:03:47.000 I use that very improperly.

00:03:48.000 I was so distracted by the ambassador that I was putting Shamwells in the dryer!

00:03:53.000 Soaked up all the moisture.

00:03:53.000 They're not dryer sheets.

00:03:55.000 I should have known better, Shamwell. 1.00

00:03:57.000 Let's go to our first question.

00:04:00.000 Again, lotto.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.com.

00:04:11.000 I don't understand.

00:04:15.000 I like I like saying it like I'm a bird waiting to be fed by my mother

00:04:18.000 That's getting photoshopped oh boy. Yeah, just say I'm Garrett

00:04:29.000 So water.

00:04:29.000 Agua.

00:04:30.000 Water is your favorite.

00:04:31.000 Yeah, I'm going water as well.

00:04:34.000 The only reason I learned it was because my friend was Hispanic.

00:04:36.000 His child speaks Spanish and kept demanding agua and he was completely just neglected.

00:04:42.000 Oh, that sounds funny.

00:04:43.000 The kid was dehydrated.

00:04:45.000 Like, aah, aah, like, aah, like, aah, I don't know what he's, like, baby talk.

00:04:49.000 Aah, aah, aah.

00:04:52.000 But you know what? He's fine now.

00:04:54.000 Instead he got some Topo Chico, my favorite non-alcoholic drink.

00:04:59.000 I do like Topo Chico.

00:04:59.000 Typically water.

00:05:01.000 Topo Chico's really good.

00:05:02.000 Really good.

00:05:03.000 Clear.

00:05:04.000 And then as far as sodas, part of my routine in the morning is when I have my Black Rifle Coffee, of course, BlackRifleCoffee.com's Last Crowder.

00:05:11.000 I love the Black Rifle Coffee.

00:05:13.000 It is what I drink every morning.

00:05:14.000 I'll often have one of those small 7-ounce Coke Zeros.

00:05:18.000 And in here I have a Dr. Pepper 10.

00:05:21.000 I find that diet sodas aren't really great.

00:05:24.000 Dr. Pepper diet soda though.

00:05:26.000 The 10 is better.

00:05:26.000 Is it?

00:05:27.000 It tastes like normal Dr. Pepper.

00:05:28.000 And then my favorite treat is, I think I had some with you, Sprecker's from Wisconsin.

00:05:33.000 Going back to the Wisconsin hunting crowd.

00:05:36.000 Sprecker's Low Calorie Root Beer.

00:05:38.000 That was pretty tasty.

00:05:40.000 That's up on my list now.

00:05:42.000 Root beer doesn't need to be that sweet.

00:05:45.000 It already has a bunch of herbs.

00:05:48.000 A lot of earthy tones.

00:05:50.000 So I'm gonna ask this.

00:05:50.000 A lot of herbs.

00:05:52.000 I actually have a number of non-alcoholic drinks that I like, but it's dependent on location.

00:05:57.000 So for example, I will never buy ginger ale or apple juice, but if I'm staying at a hotel and I go to breakfast in the morning, I always drink apple juice if it's available.

00:06:07.000 And when I'm on a plane, I will always drink ginger ale.

00:06:09.000 You drink ginger ale whiskey on a plane.

00:06:12.000 I usually actually get them separate.

00:06:14.000 And I will drink the whiskey first, then another, then usually another, then I'll drink the ginger ale.

00:06:18.000 But for some reason, I don't know why, and I know a lot of people who do ginger ale on the plane only.

00:06:22.000 I don't know about the apple juice thing, it probably is weird.

00:06:25.000 I don't know if, like, contextually... I don't know.

00:06:27.000 He's reverting to a state of childhood.

00:06:29.000 Reverting?

00:06:30.000 He's going to Apple Juice.

00:06:34.000 You know what's funny?

00:06:35.000 Ginger ale and bourbon.

00:06:38.000 I've never really been hungover.

00:06:40.000 I don't really drink to get drunk, but once I did accidentally have way too much to drink.

00:06:44.000 It was the Mitt Romney-Barack Obama debates.

00:06:46.000 I was in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

00:06:48.000 I had the worst sore throat.

00:06:50.000 I had a friend who made me, like, a hot toddy.

00:06:52.000 And then he said, I was like, that's a lot of work right now, and I'm exhausted.

00:06:55.000 He said, well, you know, try some bourbon and ginger ale.

00:06:57.000 So I got a big bottle of Evan Williams, I was watching those debates, and I had no idea as to size.

00:07:03.000 I'm a beer guy.

00:07:04.000 So I was putting, I had like a pint glass, and I was, like a tulip pint glass, I was putting probably about six ounces of Evan Williams, and then ginger ale, I had like four or five.

00:07:14.000 And I just had a really bad headache.

00:07:16.000 You know, at that point I wasn't very clear-headed.

00:07:19.000 The next morning I felt fine, but I've never had Evan Williams since.

00:07:23.000 That's good.

00:07:23.000 Wow.

00:07:25.000 It'll get you.

00:07:26.000 Bourbon and ginger ale is a nice combination, but it'll trick you.

00:07:29.000 Jamieson and ginger.

00:07:30.000 Yeah, Jamieson and ginger.

00:07:32.000 So what are your favorite non-alcoholic drinks?

00:07:34.000 Real quick.

00:07:34.000 I'm like Bill.

00:07:36.000 Whenever I go to a hotel and I see cranberry juice, I just get so excited.

00:07:40.000 It's delicious.

00:07:41.000 Your urinary tract thanks you.

00:07:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:43.000 No, but I guess I'm the 30-year-old boomer, the meme, because I love the White Monster energy drinks.

00:07:49.000 I actually do find those.

00:07:50.000 If I don't have coffee, that's what I go for.

00:07:52.000 Or the old school White Rockstar.

00:07:54.000 I know most people don't like that, but that's usually what I go for.

00:07:56.000 Yeah.

00:07:57.000 My favorite is the White Monster. 0.82

00:07:58.000 It is pretty good.

00:08:00.000 I don't know, something about that flavor.

00:08:01.000 Sometimes I even wish that they made like a caffeine-free version, because I want to like drink it right before I go to sleep.

00:08:07.000 Yeah, you want to have one of those.

00:08:08.000 You know what's pretty good though?

00:08:09.000 Neuro drinks?

00:08:10.000 Neuro Bliss?

00:08:11.000 Those are good.

00:08:12.000 Yeah, the blue one is the Neuro Bliss one, so I don't know what it does.

00:08:14.000 It's supposed to be relaxing.

00:08:15.000 I know there's nothing in there really bad for you.

00:08:17.000 It's just like C9 and vitamin D, but it is pretty tasty later in the day.

00:08:20.000 It's kind of similar to the White Monster. 0.82

00:08:23.000 Ah, yeah, yeah.

00:08:24.000 You guys passed me over those.

00:08:25.000 They're actually pretty good.

00:08:26.000 Yeah, they're actually not bad.

00:08:27.000 And they have the Energy one too, the Neurosonic, those are good.

00:08:30.000 Then there was, wasn't there the Neurogasm?

00:08:31.000 Binaural Beats one.

00:08:33.000 I'm not familiar with that one.

00:08:34.000 I have no idea.

00:08:35.000 Maybe that was a different store.

00:08:36.000 You, what are your favorite, what are your favorite?

00:08:39.000 I mean, I'm a Texan, so Dr. Pepper.

00:08:41.000 I like Dr. Pepper a lot.

00:08:42.000 Is that like a rite of passage in Texas?

00:08:44.000 You have to like Dr. Pepper?

00:08:45.000 I mean, when you come out of the womb, it's the Whataburger. 0.95

00:08:47.000 Dr. Ross Perot.

00:08:48.000 They do the Dr. Pepper birth, where you're in just a tub of Dr. Pepper, and you float to the surface, and if you don't, you don't.

00:08:55.000 It's fizzy, you know?

00:08:55.000 It's nice.

00:08:56.000 If you do it right, you can do the Dr. Pepper dolphin birth.

00:08:59.000 Oh, wow!

00:08:59.000 Tell me about that.

00:09:01.000 Well, they're supposed to do it in the ocean, so at that point, the Dr. Pepper's quite diluted.

00:09:05.000 Oh, no.

00:09:06.000 But it's still there.

00:09:07.000 Salt water.

00:09:10.000 Don't try and drink it.

00:09:11.000 You end up like Ron Paul at debate number four.

00:09:13.000 We're now Joe Biden.

00:09:16.000 What's your favorite theater audio aid?

00:09:17.000 I really like a good sparkling water.

00:09:19.000 I'll drink a Gatorade after work usually.

00:09:22.000 But yeah, most of the time it's just water for me.

00:09:23.000 What color?

00:09:24.000 I go yellow Gatorade.

00:09:27.000 I think it's the original.

00:09:29.000 Red's the best one. 0.58

00:09:30.000 That's Pine-Sol.

00:09:31.000 That's basically Pine-Sol.

00:09:33.000 Pine-Sol.

00:09:35.000 It's lemon-lime, yeah, I like that.

00:09:37.000 I do like the red one though, the fruit punch.

00:09:38.000 I don't like the fruit punch, it's way too sweet.

00:09:42.000 Here, I'm relighting this cigar.

00:09:43.000 Does anyone here remember Allsport?

00:09:46.000 That was Shaq, because there was Gatorade, then Powerade, then there was an arms race for crappy hydrate.

00:09:51.000 Does anyone out there remember Allsport?

00:09:52.000 Shaquille O'Neal was in Allsport.

00:09:54.000 It was fizzy.

00:09:55.000 I feel like this is something that you as a foreigner had No, no, no. 0.95

00:10:00.000 All sport wasn't... Shaquille O'Neal.

00:10:01.000 I mean, I don't think Shaquille O'Neal was only selling to Canada.

00:10:04.000 I got confused because I was drinking a whole thing of Icy Hot.

00:10:08.000 So I guess I got my Shaquille products mixed up.

00:10:10.000 How did it feel?

00:10:10.000 I was blending up Papa John's and putting it in.

00:10:13.000 Or General Insurance.

00:10:14.000 Which one is he in now?

00:10:16.000 Alright.

00:10:17.000 You've had your fun.

00:10:18.000 Oh, no, I'll swear.

00:10:24.000 I don't remember Allsport.

00:10:25.000 No, not at all.

00:10:26.000 Maybe someone out there remembers.

00:10:27.000 Maybe it was a Canadian thing.

00:10:28.000 I have no idea.

00:10:29.000 We were also talking about this, so Play-Doh for kids.

00:10:32.000 That is not fair.

00:10:33.000 When you have Play-Doh that looks like a strawberry, it smells like a strawberry, but then if the kid eats it, he's going to shorten his lifespan by 18 years.

00:10:41.000 I didn't know that.

00:10:43.000 I don't know why they do it.

00:10:43.000 I mean, I'm just saying you're not supposed to eat it.

00:10:45.000 I don't know if it's toxic.

00:10:46.000 Now they say non-toxic, but I remember that change, which makes Which presumes it was toxic beforehand.

00:10:52.000 Why make something that looks and smells delicious but could kill you?

00:10:57.000 Or is just weirdly salty.

00:10:58.000 Are we talking about ChapStick right now?

00:11:00.000 That too.

00:11:01.000 We're talking about Play-Doh.

00:11:02.000 It'd be like making the packing peanuts that come with your packages smell like cheeseburgers.

00:11:10.000 Why would you eat those, Kyle?

00:11:12.000 Because I'm five!

00:11:15.000 And the Ziploc bag smells like cherries!

00:11:20.000 Kyle is fine, by the way, audience.

00:11:21.000 He's fine.

00:11:22.000 He just needs some agua.

00:11:23.000 Let's go to a video question!

00:11:28.000 Hey Crowder and Company, this is Garrett.

00:11:30.000 I just wanted to ask you guys real quick, what do you think are the most important aspects of lifestyle that need to be compatible between two people for a long-term relationship to be successful?

00:11:42.000 Thank you for everything you guys do.

00:11:43.000 Hope you have a good one.

00:11:44.000 See you around.

00:11:45.000 You're not Garrett.

00:11:46.000 He's Garrett.

00:11:47.000 Yeah, one of the good ones.

00:11:48.000 It's confusing.

00:11:49.000 What are you doing?

00:11:50.000 I don't know which one to shoot.

00:11:51.000 Too soon?

00:11:52.000 This is pretty...

00:11:53.000 I don't know.

00:11:54.000 What are you talking about?

00:11:55.000 Why don't you tell me?

00:11:56.000 Garrett's shooting.

00:11:57.000 Oh.

00:11:58.000 Oh.

00:11:59.000 No, not too soon.

00:12:00.000 No, Foster?

00:12:01.000 He's never too soon.

00:12:02.000 No, that's just different if you aim an AK-47 at a car.

00:12:07.000 I don't consider it a surprise.

00:12:10.000 It's not like, he was so quiet, we never would have expected this.

00:12:13.000 Would you have expected it after he aimed an AK-47?

00:12:15.000 Well, you know, I guess that's a reason.

00:12:17.000 I mean, now that you bring that up.

00:12:18.000 I do appreciate, though, just on that point, like, how pro-gun.

00:12:22.000 People have to be to make that argument.

00:12:23.000 They'd be like, no, no, no, he's totally fine to harry it, and then point it, and then, oh, but, uh, ooh.

00:12:30.000 Yeah, pro-gun, but anti-gun safety.

00:12:32.000 That's when you switch back to Anderson Cooper.

00:12:36.000 That's just like all this time we were advocating for responsible gun ownership in Second Amendment, realized all we needed to do was aim it at civilians with their finger on the trigger, and the left would have gotten on board.

00:12:46.000 CNN loves it.

00:12:46.000 They would have been the next Charlton Heston.

00:12:49.000 Um, you know, that's a good question.

00:12:51.000 You know, we talk about this quite a bit in Life Advice.

00:12:53.000 I think that you can make a lot of aspects of a relationship work.

00:12:57.000 I don't think that you need to find someone where you have everything in common.

00:12:59.000 For example, sometimes you're like, well, we need the same, like the same movies, like the same books.

00:13:02.000 No, you don't have to have the same hobbies.

00:13:04.000 It really does come down to sharing the same fundamental values.

00:13:08.000 I don't know how people out there, James Carville does, I don't understand how you can make

00:13:12.000 it work if you're a conservative, this person is a liberal.

00:13:14.000 And I don't mean that maybe they're moderate and not necessarily interested in politics,

00:13:17.000 but someone whose fundamental worldview is diametrically opposed to yours.

00:13:21.000 I don't know how you raise children.

00:13:22.000 I don't know how you have a relationship.

00:13:24.000 I've never understood it.

00:13:26.000 But if you have those values in line and also expectations and values as it relates to the

00:13:33.000 relationship itself and roles in the relationship.

00:13:36.000 If you agree on those, almost everything else can work.

00:13:39.000 And some people think it's not romantic because it's not this idea of, you know, the one and love is a many splendored thing.

00:13:46.000 You know what the truth is?

00:13:47.000 Eventually you choose somebody, and that passion wears off at some point, and you get it back.

00:13:52.000 You choose to continue acting on that, and so you both need to be on the same page when you enter into that relationship.

00:13:59.000 It's the only way I've seen it work.

00:14:00.000 Now I'd say, what about friendships?

00:14:03.000 Maybe that's what he was asking.

00:14:04.000 Long-term friendships, is it as required?

00:14:07.000 Did he say friendships?

00:14:08.000 I'm pretty confident we answered a different question.

00:14:09.000 No, no, he didn't specify.

00:14:10.000 But no, that actually is, I think, different.

00:14:12.000 Did he say friendships?

00:14:12.000 No, he said long-term relationships.

00:14:14.000 Well, you want another friend named Garrett?

00:14:16.000 You want to be Garrett and Garrett?

00:14:17.000 Garrett?

00:14:17.000 Me Garrett!

00:14:18.000 Garrett?

00:14:18.000 Me Garrett!

00:14:19.000 He's not Mexican! 1.00

00:14:22.000 That's the introduction for you now.

00:14:23.000 Thank you.

00:14:24.000 No, for friendships?

00:14:26.000 Friendships?

00:14:26.000 I don't know.

00:14:27.000 No, with guys it's different.

00:14:28.000 You can have someone you disagree with on a whole lot with guys, politically and still.

00:14:31.000 Then it comes down to more so values like loyalty, honesty, you know, not all of my friends.

00:14:38.000 Now, the truth is now, today in 2020, you don't really find that in a lot of leftists, unfortunately.

00:14:43.000 You find it in classical liberals who maybe support higher taxes, but people who believe in shouting someone down with a boombox and lighting their car on fire, not really someone I want with me in the foxhole.

00:14:55.000 Yeah, people, if you're headed toward marriage, if that's your goal, then Trust is going to be a big deal, and that is based on, again, an underlying set of values.

00:15:07.000 Because you're going to be making decisions with this other person, and so being able to work within the same framework, you're not going to be around that person every time they're making the decision.

00:15:15.000 My wife's at home with my kids right now.

00:15:16.000 I'm not around her every single second of the day, but I trust her with that, and she can trust me with a bunch of other stuff.

00:15:21.000 So it's like trust is going to be important, and the values that underlie that trust are essential.

00:15:26.000 And I'm not the best person to ask this advice because I started on second base. 0.99

00:15:29.000 Huge penis. 0.99

00:15:30.000 What were you about to say there, Reg? 1.00

00:15:32.000 Oh no, I was thinking back to the friendships.

00:15:34.000 I'm saying it makes it easy.

00:15:35.000 Sure.

00:15:35.000 Yeah, okay.

00:15:36.000 It gives me a third leg up.

00:15:38.000 I can't remember but I think as far as friendships go, didn't C.S. Lewis say something like,

00:15:43.000 you know, friendships are born out of looking at someone else and saying, oh, you too, you

00:15:47.000 have this interest, right?

00:15:48.000 And so I think especially for guys, a shared interest, you can build a friendship on that

00:15:53.000 without particularly anything else in common.

00:15:55.000 I had guys that I would do powerlifting competitions with.

00:15:59.000 We'd train together.

00:16:00.000 We'd go to the meets.

00:16:02.000 I had a guy, a close friend who was a Muslim, so I'd be sitting there reading my Bible, sharing a hotel room with him, and he'd be like praying towards Mecca, and then we'd get up the next day and Max Elton squats, benching deadlifts.

00:16:11.000 Did you ever pray to cancel out his prayers?

00:16:13.000 No, no.

00:16:14.000 I didn't.

00:16:16.000 We were in different—that's how it works.

00:16:18.000 I do that sometimes.

00:16:20.000 We were in different weight classes, so it didn't matter.

00:16:22.000 But no, I think a shared interest, you can really bond over that.

00:16:25.000 And, you know, politics, religion, other things don't have to come into the mix.

00:16:29.000 With a marriage, it's obviously different because if you try to do that, you'll be pulling in two opposite directions.

00:16:35.000 And that's where this sort of biblical analogy of being yoked together with someone, you've got to, if you're yoked, two animals yoked together, they've got to be going the same way.

00:16:42.000 Right.

00:16:42.000 That's the main thing.

00:16:43.000 Especially when you're yaks. 1.00

00:16:44.000 You ever try to yoke yaks?

00:16:46.000 They're very strong animals.

00:16:47.000 You cannot yoke yaks if they are not equal. 0.97

00:16:51.000 Can we yoke yak better?

00:16:54.000 I don't know if we can yoke yak better, but we can.

00:16:57.000 We're talking about, by the way, I want to be really clear, equal opportunity for the yaks, but not equal outcomes. 0.99

00:17:03.000 Not all yaks, there's no equal outcome guaranteed for yaks, so you yoke them equally as far as opportunity. 1.00

00:17:08.000 So, I agree.

00:17:08.000 Go ahead.

00:17:09.000 I think when it comes to the relationships, you often have to have a similar goal, and you have to be able to know that when that person is making a decision, that you can generally understand.

00:17:19.000 Like, I'm not saying, like, you pick the wrong tenor.

00:17:22.000 Right, yeah, communication.

00:17:23.000 That's pretty freaking key, you know.

00:17:25.000 But ultimately, that speaks to the higher center.

00:17:27.000 Like, where are we headed?

00:17:28.000 Like, where are we going to be in 5, 10, 20 years?

00:17:30.000 What do we want our kids to be?

00:17:31.000 What kind of relationships do we want to have?

00:17:33.000 All of that means that, you know, you've got to have some level of kind of core compatibility.

00:17:37.000 Even if you have, you know, you watch TV in different rooms because you like different shows or one of you likes to, you know, shoot guns and the other one likes to go play golf or like whatever, you know?

00:17:46.000 Wait, which one of you in your relationship likes to play golf?

00:17:49.000 Uh, me.

00:17:50.000 So you like to shoot guns and play golf.

00:17:51.000 What's your wife doing at those things? 1.00

00:17:53.000 She's just hanging out.

00:17:54.000 She's very understanding.

00:17:55.000 She's a very tolerant person.

00:17:58.000 Exceptionally patient.

00:18:01.000 But I think with friendships, you're right.

00:18:03.000 There's no question, like for example, I play in a band and we have a variety of people on all spectrums.

00:18:08.000 We were recording a song actually a couple weeks ago for a new album and the producer was a small business conservative from New York.

00:18:15.000 He's like, I have Conservatism is in my blood because of how I've seen small businesses being treated under certain policies in the state of New York and how that's affected my family and my grandparents and stuff like that.

00:18:26.000 And then we had another gentleman also from New York, an immigrant who lived in Brooklyn, had a more leftist type of view.

00:18:33.000 And over the course of one of our breaks, like we were recording, we took a break, we're, you know, having a drink, eating some food, talked about politics for about 30 minutes, and then wrapped it up and got back done.

00:18:41.000 And, you know, it doesn't have to be because you're not always having to go to the same place, do the same things, trust them with your kids, or your finances, or your decision for church.

00:18:51.000 It's a little bit different.

00:18:52.000 Yeah.

00:18:53.000 And I think with men in particular, we were talking about this earlier, how kind of in the powerlifting community there was sort of a lot of common ground, a kinship with the combat sports community, whether it was jujitsu or even collegiate wrestling.

00:19:03.000 The reason for that is A, I think it's because it's an individual sport.

00:19:06.000 You know, so much training comes down to a moment where it's all on you.

00:19:09.000 There's a lot of similarities between strength sports and combat sports.

00:19:13.000 There's an intensity, as well as kind of, you go out there alone, but you do train with a team of people.

00:19:19.000 So you're forging the fire.

00:19:20.000 And there is something to be said, for men particularly, while we're getting off relationships, going more into the territory of friendships, of being in some kind of a fight, some kind of a battle together, some kind of a struggle, does definitely seem to forge a bond.

00:19:33.000 Or, you see relationships fracture.

00:19:35.000 Because, you know, you can also, I think all of us at some point have had a relationship where, okay, it was tested, and the person folded, and you realize you cannot trust that person.

00:19:43.000 So even if you don't share the same political values, or maybe political policies, I would say,

00:19:50.000 because the difference between, for example, a lot of Muslims and Christians,

00:19:53.000 they're actually probably very similarly aligned with a lot of values outside of, you know,

00:19:56.000 like we believe that women can get in the driver's seat in the Volvo. 1.00

00:19:59.000 It's not, you know, ain't gonna mean all that much to me.

00:20:02.000 But yeah, if you share those values and you do see some loyalty and some trust

00:20:07.000 and people who will be there when you need them, that's what's most important in a male relationship.

00:20:12.000 But yeah, you can have a common interest, and everything kind of revolves around that.

00:20:16.000 And sometimes you'll have friendships where it really just revolves around a common interest and you don't talk about a whole lot of other things, whereas in a relationship with a woman, those common interests outside of values and direction don't matter as much. 0.73

00:20:30.000 And just because something's not coming up right now doesn't mean it never will.

00:20:34.000 So that if you are in a relationship, if you're dating somebody, you can't maintain sort of political neutrality or moral neutrality or religious neutrality for a while.

00:20:44.000 Especially in the long term.

00:20:45.000 You can only do that if you don't really want to be with them.

00:20:49.000 If you don't really want to share the kinds of things you have to share in a marriage, Is the only way you can get any further out of the road and inevitably it will cause a problem.

00:20:57.000 Yes.

00:20:58.000 No, exactly.

00:20:59.000 And I want to even go so far as to say the common interests in a marriage in many ways aren't necessary.

00:21:03.000 You know, I have some, my wife and I, we actually, if we go to the movie theater, we both want to see the same movie.

00:21:09.000 We both read the same book.

00:21:10.000 So we are an example of we have a lot of common interests, but I have friends who probably have almost zero common interests, but their marriage still works great because they share those values.

00:21:17.000 And I think it actually, you know, opposites can attract, it can be interesting and exciting to have someone who Well, my brother and his wife, for example, they share a lot in common.

00:21:27.000 They have the same sense of humor.

00:21:28.000 They both worked in media.

00:21:30.000 They are interested in a lot of the same things.

00:21:32.000 They're both very, you know, they like to be around each other all the time.

00:21:35.000 My wife and I are actually pretty, I would say, independent in the sense that my wife can be downstairs reading a book, or she can be reading a book while I'm watching a documentary, and we're perfectly happy.

00:21:44.000 You know, we have the dogs with us, and we're in each other's company, right?

00:21:48.000 It's about quality time.

00:21:51.000 It also does come down to, in relationships, esteeming your partner first.

00:21:54.000 And so, when I look for a movie that we're gonna watch together, if my wife will say, hey, I'm tired, I'd maybe like to watch a movie tonight, could you pick one?

00:22:00.000 I think we've all had this conversation, the biggest fights I ever got to in my life was with a girlfriend back in a video store.

00:22:05.000 Because, you know, the physicality of it just makes you want to, like, find the hard edge and... Not that you did.

00:22:11.000 You didn't do that.

00:22:12.000 Yeah, I thought you said you weren't Muslim.

00:22:16.000 No, I just found a nearby child.

00:22:18.000 You've got to bring the magnetron with you.

00:22:20.000 As soon as she reaches for it, you go, oh, sorry.

00:22:24.000 Already touched it.

00:22:25.000 Touched it.

00:22:26.000 But, so if she says, hey, try and find a movie, I will try and find something that my wife enjoys. 1.00

00:22:30.000 And I find something that I like that my wife likes.

00:22:32.000 For example, she loves like those early 90s thrillers, like, you know, Primal Fear, like Basic Attraction, Fatal Attraction, Basic Instinct, those kinds of things.

00:22:40.000 I think the film like Frailty, these kinds.

00:22:42.000 And I enjoy those too.

00:22:44.000 Now there are certain comedies that I'll enjoy that I know, I mean, my wife just isn't going to like.

00:22:49.000 But she'll also look and find some comedies that she thinks, okay, we can watch together.

00:22:52.000 Now there are certain lines that are drawn, for example, married at first sight, don't do it.

00:22:56.000 I did Bachelor when we were dating, I did Bachelor for the first two years of our marriage and I said, sweetie, I can't do it anymore.

00:23:01.000 If it's a show with a midget on TLC being pushed off a boat, I don't want to watch it. 1.00

00:23:06.000 Like, I can't do that, but I will go with you on these other journeys.

00:23:11.000 See, I'll preface it with, I'll go into your movie, but you gotta know I'm gonna make fun of it.

00:23:16.000 Like, I'm gonna make fun of it.

00:23:18.000 That was me with The Bachelor for a long time, and then she thought that it grew tiresome.

00:23:22.000 Which, she didn't know it grew tiresome.

00:23:23.000 Don't have me around?

00:23:24.000 That was by design.

00:23:24.000 Wait, the show or you?

00:23:26.000 Yeah, me.

00:23:27.000 But that was by design.

00:23:28.000 I'm like, I'm just going to make this such a miserable experience.

00:23:31.000 I can never be accused of not supporting her, but I'm not going to have to watch Desiree pick from 16 wannabe actor douchebags.

00:23:38.000 So you don't want to watch The Bachelor, she doesn't want you to watch The Bachelor. 0.74

00:23:41.000 Exactly.

00:23:41.000 She doesn't want you to watch The Bachelor, so I go read a book on Churchill.

00:23:46.000 And we both go our separate ways.

00:23:47.000 But on the flip side, with men, And I want to know, people out there, I guess this is kind of a question for you.

00:23:52.000 What do you find, how do you see the connections being different between sort of your friendships, namely your same-sex friendships?

00:24:00.000 That's probably a whole other discussion.

00:24:01.000 I don't really know that men and women can be really good friends. 1.00

00:24:05.000 I think you can, like, for example, I work with Courtney and we have a professional relationship and we're from afar, but I don't think my wife would ever be okay with me hanging out with a woman as often as I hang out with people here, Gerald alone.

00:24:15.000 You know, Mike Pence was dragged through the mud because he said, I won't go out to dinner.

00:24:19.000 Because all he basically said was, hey, if I'm going to Cheesecake Factory with a dame, I'm going to make sure that there's somebody else present so I don't get Me Too'd. 0.98

00:24:26.000 Oh my gosh, he hates women. 0.99

00:24:27.000 This was pre-Me Too, so they didn't even have a label for it. 0.95

00:24:31.000 Like, just don't hang out with girls alone.

00:24:33.000 And really, Cheesecake Factory should have been the most upset because he said that their meals were always, he said it was aggressively mediocre.

00:24:40.000 Always disappointing.

00:24:41.000 Always disappointing.

00:24:42.000 Whereas Olive Garden, you're not disappointed because you know exactly what you get.

00:24:45.000 It's about expectation.

00:24:45.000 There you go.

00:24:46.000 Yeah, it's exactly about expectations.

00:24:49.000 So let us know what you think about that as far as what those commonalities are.

00:24:52.000 I will say with Jiu Jitsu, there was a guy who Really a great guy.

00:24:55.000 We ended up becoming good friends.

00:24:58.000 And he was advanced at this point.

00:25:00.000 Purple Belt was really close to being a brown belt.

00:25:02.000 And I had some instructors for a long time who wanted me to compete, and so they would hold me back at white and at blue.

00:25:08.000 And so that's so you could win more medals, which really isn't fair.

00:25:10.000 They call it sandbagging.

00:25:11.000 And I always wanted to advance because I didn't really feel good being better than people in my category.

00:25:17.000 But I rolled with this guy who was kind of top dog at school.

00:25:20.000 And when we were rolling, he got really mad because he was having a tough time.

00:25:24.000 And so he turned it up on me.

00:25:25.000 And I could feel him like he got aggressive.

00:25:26.000 And so then I turned it up.

00:25:28.000 And then it turned into a full-fledged fight.

00:25:30.000 It's like we were fighting before with less intensity, but now there were elbows grinding, and then we both got up and he's like, yeah, you wanna go?

00:25:38.000 I'm like, sure, again?

00:25:40.000 You wanna go outside?

00:25:41.000 So we won't have mats!

00:25:43.000 And then after that, we got into a fight.

00:25:45.000 Turned out that he was going through a rough period in his relationship, and he called me and he said, hey man, I'm sorry, it's just, you know, like, obviously this is

00:25:52.000 something that means a lot.

00:25:53.000 It's a big part of my identity right now.

00:25:54.000 I'm going through this rough time in my personal life.

00:25:56.000 He said, I shouldn't have done that.

00:25:58.000 I'm the more advanced student.

00:25:59.000 I should be, he said, I'm really sorry.

00:26:01.000 I said, you know what?

00:26:02.000 I'm really sorry because I should have sort of, I should have given you the right of way.

00:26:05.000 And after that, we were each other's best training partners.

00:26:08.000 We were joking.

00:26:09.000 We were having fun.

00:26:09.000 It never got super competitive.

00:26:11.000 We were relatively evenly matched.

00:26:13.000 You know where the lines are.

00:26:15.000 But it took, in our common interest, we did share values.

00:26:17.000 We happened to.

00:26:18.000 But I've had other people in jiu-jitsu who were always sharing common issues.

00:26:20.000 Because jiu-jitsu, I would see them four or five times a week at this point in my life and never see them outside of it.

00:26:25.000 But we were pretty close.

00:26:27.000 And we knew when we went to tournaments that we had each other's backs, that we would be there cornering each other, that we would be kind of helping each other warm up.

00:26:27.000 Yeah.

00:26:33.000 That's important.

00:26:34.000 Men are task-focused, task-oriented.

00:26:35.000 You need to have an activity that you accomplish together, and that forges a bond.

00:26:39.000 And men are respect-oriented as well, so being able to respect the other person, that is what forges friendships.

00:26:44.000 Yeah, respect and loyalty are the two main things in here.

00:26:48.000 Absolutely.

00:26:49.000 And that can be the case in a marriage as well.

00:26:52.000 I mean, if a wife doesn't respect her husband, You know, that will sap the identity from the man and will also just destroy that relationship. 0.83

00:27:00.000 Yeah, women tend to receive love more so in tenderness, in kindness, in being gentle, in being compassionate, in listening.

00:27:08.000 And men sort of receive love very often in forms of respect, in service, in appreciation.

00:27:13.000 That doesn't mean, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich!

00:27:15.000 But you know what?

00:27:16.000 It'll melt your husband's heart if he comes home and you make a really good meal because you just did it because you love him and you know that he loves that chicken piccata and it's better than Cheesecake Factory.

00:27:26.000 Again, chicken piccata, chicken piccata for anyone listening out there.

00:27:30.000 What do you mean?

00:27:30.000 What did I say?

00:27:31.000 No, that you want the chicken piccata.

00:27:32.000 Oh, yes.

00:27:33.000 Just for hints.

00:27:34.000 I'm confused.

00:27:34.000 Okay, hold on.

00:27:35.000 Can I just tell you, my mind goes crazy things when we're talking about stuff.

00:27:38.000 And I thought to myself when we were earlier talking about Cheesecake Factory.

00:27:40.000 My mind goes crazy when we're not talking about stuff.

00:27:41.000 I know.

00:27:41.000 Is I thought, if there was a restaurant that Audio Wade would love the most, it's the frickin' Encyclopedia Tomb that is the Cheesecake Factory menu.

00:27:51.000 Because he loves to read so much.

00:27:52.000 And I can see him being like... A lot of options.

00:27:54.000 Chapter 9.

00:27:55.000 None of them are great.

00:27:56.000 None of it's bad, but none of it's very good.

00:27:58.000 Yes, correct.

00:27:59.000 Overpriced and just mediocre.

00:28:01.000 I mean, if your steak is getting shown up by Dave & Buster's right next to the Whack-A-Mole, you gotta up your game.

00:28:09.000 But they do scout out good locations.

00:28:10.000 Cheesecake Factory, that's what they do. 1.00

00:28:11.000 They find a good corner.

00:28:12.000 You know, they're in a shopping mall.

00:28:13.000 Although I don't really know how valuable that is anymore.

00:28:17.000 But yeah, no, I think probably the same thing.

00:28:18.000 You probably have members in your band there, Half-Asian Bill, where you probably don't have a lot of commonality outside of music with some of them.

00:28:24.000 But when you're there, it doesn't matter.

00:28:26.000 You're close because you're doing something together.

00:28:27.000 Well we're close and they are all very respectful like we I think I've told you guys this before we did some touring before a couple years ago and you're in a van and a lot of time we're talking and like I'm still working on lawyeringly lawyerly stuff in the morning or whatever but every day we would pick a different topic driving between cities and talk and I would say I'll take either side whatever side you want me to take if you're you know whatever you think you are and I'll argue the

00:28:47.000 other side whatever it is so typically it was me arguing the conservative side

00:28:51.000 yeah um and and and every time it was sort of a backseat lawyer

00:28:55.000 uh yes constantly that sounds like fun oh sure it was great not arguing about

00:28:59.000 turn signals but he's arguing about mens rea and uh and so then you know but it was respect

00:29:06.000 It was respect and a learning and an openness that you're in consider.

00:29:09.000 And that was a thing that allowed us to have that common bond.

00:29:12.000 And then we would bond over, you know, White Castle at two in the morning in Louisville, because that was open.

00:29:17.000 And in music, as you're playing in a band sort of context, you can be impressed with each other.

00:29:22.000 So you can watch somebody do something they're very skilled at and just be able to be wowed by somebody, even if you have, again, different political views, different religious views.

00:29:30.000 But that also comes down to temperament.

00:29:31.000 Because some people will see someone else who is successful, and I think that's a big difference between leftists and conservatives in a lot of ways.

00:29:38.000 When I see someone who's a billionaire, when I see someone who's very wealthy, I don't get mad at them.

00:29:42.000 I don't think they must have screwed someone.

00:29:44.000 I go, oh my, what is this guy doing?

00:29:46.000 Or when I see someone who's really good at jujitsu, when I used to watch them, I'd be like, What is he doing?

00:29:51.000 And I'll ask him, how are you training?

00:29:53.000 And inevitably, they're doing something that I'm not.

00:29:55.000 They're doing something better than I'm doing.

00:29:56.000 But there are some people who will get mad and get jealous or try to pull you down if they know that you're better than them.

00:30:03.000 And that's someone you can't be friends with.

00:30:04.000 And I've had relationships like that, where they're friends with you.

00:30:06.000 And this happens in the comedy community.

00:30:08.000 You're doing stand-up comedy.

00:30:09.000 Then all of a sudden, I got into the Just for Laughs.

00:30:11.000 And people who were saying that I was good were gone.

00:30:15.000 I was like, oh, you took my spot.

00:30:17.000 No, I just did.

00:30:18.000 Listen, you're great, and I would say you're probably better than me, but I just had a better showing that night.

00:30:22.000 You know, it was my night.

00:30:23.000 So that is, I think, something that comes down to respect and appreciation, a mutual respect.

00:30:27.000 And I think the left tends to think in terms of zero-sum games, and whereas people on the right don't.

00:30:32.000 So if, again, there are lots of spots.

00:30:34.000 There are lots of opportunities for you to advance, maybe next year.

00:30:38.000 And again, but everybody thinks that if that one spot in Just for Laughs is taken, again, that there's no room for you to advance.

00:30:44.000 That's my spot, kid.

00:30:44.000 That's my spot.

00:30:45.000 I was gonna be the number one star in the world.

00:30:49.000 The world.

00:30:50.000 Danny Carby's Mickey Rooney.

00:30:51.000 You ever see that?

00:30:53.000 I was the number one star in the world.

00:30:55.000 You hear me?

00:30:58.000 The world.

00:30:59.000 That was his Mickey Rooney impression.

00:31:02.000 I don't know why.

00:31:03.000 I got to work with the wonderful Ann-Margret.

00:31:07.000 A knockout!

00:31:08.000 The number one star in the world!

00:31:10.000 That was his whole bit, Data Carby.

00:31:12.000 But I will say this too, when you talk about mutual respect, if you find someone who's excellent at something, someone who's kind of good at something, but not really, and you want to sort of sit at their feet and learn, they often try to make it seem like it's something you can't do.

00:31:26.000 Someone who is a master, someone who is genuinely good and accomplished and knows that they are one of the best, they're usually actually pretty happy to try and impart that wisdom with someone else.

00:31:36.000 That's been my experience.

00:31:38.000 I've gone up to world, so I just say jujitsu because it's something I've done for a long time.

00:31:42.000 Comedy is a very hyper competitive, even though people try to act like it's community, it's not.

00:31:47.000 But in jiu-jitsu, I've gone up to world champions and go, man, how did you get this guillotine to work?

00:31:51.000 And they go like, oh, let me show you.

00:31:53.000 But I've had people who are kind of so-so, go, how do you do that?

00:31:55.000 They're like, man, it's just doing it for a long time.

00:31:58.000 You have to do it for a long time.

00:31:59.000 And they want to make it seem like there's some barrier to entry.

00:32:02.000 And that's because people who are really good, the language they speak is respect.

00:32:07.000 If you show appreciation and respect to someone rather than jealousy, and this applies to people who run successful businesses, people who have successful marriages, in most cases there are exceptions to the rule.

00:32:18.000 People who are excellent, they want to see other people be excellent because they're kind of in a league of their own.

00:32:24.000 And let me end it with this before we tell YouTube to take a hike for people who are Mug Club members. 1.00

00:32:28.000 Of course, this continues behind the paywall at livewithcredit.com slash Mug Club.

00:32:32.000 My grandfather was a full colonel in the Air Force.

00:32:34.000 He would have been general, but he didn't have a high school, he didn't have a college degree.

00:32:36.000 I don't even know if he had a high school degree.

00:32:38.000 And he was a guy who trained all of the fighter pilots, basically, all the elite kind of fighter pilots in the Air Force.

00:32:44.000 And so he was flying every day.

00:32:45.000 He was an officer, but he was out there flying every day.

00:32:48.000 And his kids didn't really realize it.

00:32:49.000 My parents would say, they'd be like, Dad, oh, Dad, dinner, dinner.

00:32:54.000 I don't want Sloppy Joes, whatever they were complaining about, you know, back then, because they had Sloppy Joes. 1.00

00:32:57.000 And if they asked for steak, it's like, who are we, the Rockefellers?

00:33:00.000 You know, no, it's everyone has steak. 1.00

00:33:03.000 But they would say that, and he'd go, you little s**t. 0.98

00:33:08.000 Do you know where I was today? 0.98

00:33:09.000 I was over Portland, and then Canada, Sacramento, and back before your final school bell rang.

00:33:16.000 Do you have any idea what I do each day?

00:33:20.000 It's just like you had the coolest job and no one appreciated it because it was their dad.

00:33:24.000 And so if you're a wife, if you're a son, that is something that I think goes a long way with men and women.

00:33:30.000 Let me know what's the equivalent of that.

00:33:31.000 What goes a long way with you?

00:33:33.000 Because we always want to learn and you're a Rubik's Cube that we just can't figure out.

00:33:36.000 Our last name is not together.

Louder with Crowder - September 16, 2020

Do Politics Matter in Relationships? | Ash Wednesday

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