Louder with Crowder - Tribute to Norm Macdonald, Last TRUE Hero in the War on Comedy & Free Speech | Louder with Crowder

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00:01:02.000 You're gonna get excited.

00:01:06.000 Here we go!

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00:01:34.000 Mmm.

00:02:03.000 That was good!

00:02:04.000 It's a little bit of a melancholy sip today.

00:02:08.000 So look, we're going to touch on some news because obviously the Millie, the Blinken situation, pretty big from yesterday.

00:02:14.000 Touch on that.

00:02:15.000 But I don't know, this isn't necessarily something that people do for clicks.

00:02:19.000 We wanted to really do a tribute here to Norm Macdonald, and let me explain to you why.

00:02:23.000 He's been one of the single biggest influences On me professionally, on this show.

00:02:29.000 I've talked about it at length.

00:02:30.000 As a matter of fact, we'll show some clips of how many times I've talked about what my top two guests that I ever wanted to get were Norm Macdonald and Alice Cooper.

00:02:40.000 Yeah.

00:02:40.000 And so that's the real tragedy in all this is I'll never get to have him on the show.

00:02:44.000 It's true.

00:02:44.000 Truly.

00:02:45.000 Yes.

00:02:45.000 There are other ways not to come on the show, Norm.

00:02:47.000 You know, that's the thing.

00:02:49.000 You don't know who you hurt, Norm.

00:02:52.000 You better watch out, Alice.

00:02:53.000 He won't because his publicist doesn't like me.

00:02:55.000 And not only that, but I think a lot of people now jump on this bandwagon.

00:02:59.000 Look, keep in mind that Norm Macdonald was reviled not very long ago by the Me Too people, by the, I don't even know what hashtag we're talking about, but people now act as though they appreciated the brilliance that was Norm.

00:03:14.000 People don't realize also what a devout man of faith that he was.

00:03:18.000 He tried to avoid politics, but it was pretty easy to pick up on where he lined up.

00:03:24.000 So we're going to be talking about that today quite a bit, and I want to paint a more full picture of who the man was, and hopefully there's some people out there who maybe don't know about him too much, haven't appreciated him as much as you should, and really he should go along certainly with the greats.

00:03:38.000 I would put him in funniest man that ever lived.

00:03:39.000 I've said that many times.

00:03:41.000 I've said Norm Macdonald is the funniest man who's ever lived, and I've said that Nick DiPaolo is one of the funniest man's right now doing stand-up comedy, and I usually say it every time I bring on Nick DiPaolo, and he considers a comparison even in honor So I want to hear from you.

00:03:54.000 Look, comment.

00:03:55.000 Just comment down your favorite Norm joke.

00:03:57.000 Pause this and comment your favorite Norm joke.

00:03:59.000 This is actually an important experiment, okay?

00:04:02.000 I want all of you to pause this because we are going to show you the best of Norm.

00:04:06.000 Some of these clips are longer because Norm takes his time.

00:04:11.000 He's a slow burn.

00:04:13.000 But I want you to pause, leave a comment with your favorite Norm joke before you watch the rest of this show.

00:04:20.000 But to lead this off, I just want to show you, this must be from somewhere in the 90s, Norm Macdonald and Dennis Miller.

00:04:28.000 Keep in mind, this was before AM radio Dennis Miller, before Dennis Miller even knew that he was more right-leaning and Norm Macdonald had not been open about anything politically.

00:04:39.000 But again, this is why comedy is so interesting.

00:04:42.000 It's such a window into people sometimes.

00:04:45.000 And it doesn't mean that all of it is real.

00:04:46.000 Sometimes it's just jokes.

00:04:48.000 Just like Alice Cooper lyrics.

00:04:49.000 It doesn't mean that's actually who he is.

00:04:50.000 These are just jokes.

00:04:51.000 But sometimes you can see that little shimmer of, oh, that's what he thinks.

00:04:57.000 Not to mention, this is a joke that may immediately get us banned from YouTube, which again proves my point.

00:05:04.000 But here he is on Dennis Miller, saying something you could never say today on air, even on HBO, talking about gay pride.

00:05:12.000 Have you ever done anything in your long and storied career that you consider specifically to be in bad taste?

00:05:17.000 As you look back on it.

00:05:18.000 Maybe at the time you thought it was a good play, but you look back on it and you think that was in bad taste.

00:05:22.000 Well sometimes, like in stand-up, I'll do jokes that are, that I, like one time I was doing this thing in San Francisco and they were all gay people in the audience, they told me, so I figured I'll do it.

00:05:32.000 In San Francisco?

00:05:33.000 No!

00:05:35.000 So I figured I'd do stuff about gay people so that they could relate to me.

00:05:38.000 Yeah, it's warm up!

00:05:40.000 They love that!

00:05:41.000 And so I was talking about, because I went to this gay pride parade, and I saw in it there were these old men and old ladies, like, with these signs that said, we are proud of our gay son.

00:05:51.000 You know, and so I was saying, that's an odd thing to be proud of, you know, because it's not an achievement, you know, it's not like something you work all your life to be gay or anything like that.

00:06:01.000 And I just wondered, I just, I had a hard time believing that these 50, 60 year old men are actually bragging, you know, at work like they're, hey, Bill, you know, my kid, oh my God, we're proud of him, Johnny.

00:06:14.000 He graduated from Harvard, you know.

00:06:17.000 First in his class, you know what I mean? 1.00

00:06:19.000 And now he's articling over at a law firm and, oh yeah, he loves c**k! 1.00

00:06:23.000 This kid! 1.00

00:06:30.000 He can't get enough c**k in his mouth, his ass, his kids all over the place! 1.00

00:06:37.000 I got a picture of the boy here sucking another man's c**k! 1.00

00:06:44.000 To watch the maturation of you as an artist to realize it took you nine and a half minutes to get around to the second cock stop. 1.00

00:06:53.000 It's beautiful to see you comfortable in your own skin, Marmy. 0.94

00:07:01.000 All right.

00:07:01.000 That's quintessential Dennis Miller.

00:07:02.000 I'm surprised you didn't throw in some more references.

00:07:05.000 That's really nice to you coming into your own skin, almost like IMAX directors back when they were doing Hidden Earth Part 4, where they had to replace it with little Duodenum over there from Czechoslovakia.

00:07:16.000 You know what I'm talking about?

00:07:17.000 He's a cool cat.

00:07:18.000 I like the cut of his jaw. 1.00

00:07:20.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:07:22.000 Let's have Shurtu if we need to bring up those clips, and you can bring us down a little bit, because Norm is the highlight here. 0.98

00:07:28.000 And I'll show you my favorite Norm joke in a little bit.

00:07:30.000 What's beautiful about Norm Light is my favorite Norm joke ever.

00:07:33.000 It's very, very short.

00:07:34.000 Okay.

00:07:35.000 So he would have short rapid-fire punchlines and then some long ones.

00:07:38.000 Sorry, anyways, before we get into anything, Gerald A., how are you, sir?

00:07:40.000 I am better than you.

00:07:42.000 I'm actually feeling great.

00:07:43.000 Well, you sound better.

00:07:44.000 I'll tell you that in a second.

00:07:46.000 I don't have the COVID, by the way.

00:07:48.000 Let me just show this to everyone.

00:07:49.000 I'll pass this around.

00:07:51.000 My wife tested positive.

00:07:52.000 Steven, that's a pregnancy test.

00:07:53.000 Yeah, let's pass around your stick.

00:07:55.000 It looks like you are pregnant. 0.99

00:07:57.000 Well, I was wondering why I didn't get that, period.

00:07:59.000 Uh-oh.

00:08:00.000 You're late.

00:08:00.000 Turns out I'm a man!

00:08:03.000 Let's see if you're choice now.

00:08:07.000 Now let's, uh, quarterback Garrett, how are you?

00:08:09.000 I'm doing good.

00:08:10.000 I mean, except for... Doing well, but we'll allow it because of the quarterback.

00:08:14.000 Losing Norm, man.

00:08:15.000 That was rough yesterday.

00:08:16.000 I saw that and I was like... It was the first time I've ever actually cried at a celebrity death.

00:08:22.000 You got pretty close.

00:08:23.000 I've ever had a girl in the 8th grade who cried when Jeff Gordon died and she didn't even wash NASCAR. 1.00

00:08:28.000 Not Jeff Gordon!

00:08:28.000 Who was the guy that got NASCAR done?

00:08:30.000 Dale Earnhardt.

00:08:31.000 Maybe that's it.

00:08:31.000 I don't know.

00:08:32.000 No, it was some driver who died.

00:08:33.000 It's 100% Dale Earnhardt.

00:08:36.000 Whoever it is, not as good as Norm.

00:08:37.000 Earnhardt died at Daytona.

00:08:39.000 Yeah, I got a lot of plates at home.

00:08:42.000 I'll bring them in.

00:08:43.000 I'll show you.

00:08:43.000 Let me know.

00:08:44.000 I don't know, but whoever died when I was in junior high, and I always think it's weird, but again, because Norm has been something that means so much, not only to me personally, but also to people out there.

00:08:52.000 He was one of the last vanguards of comedy.

00:08:55.000 And he was one of the last vanguards of comedy who had respect from his comedic peers.

00:08:59.000 And so it carried some weight.

00:09:01.000 And then, of course, they tried to character assassinate Norm because you can't have someone like that.

00:09:05.000 So don't let people today jump on the bandwagon.

00:09:09.000 When they were trying to destroy everything that Norm helped build up.

00:09:11.000 And we'll sort of paint a portrait here that I think has been overlooked.

00:09:15.000 And Dave Landau is here.

00:09:16.000 How are you?

00:09:17.000 Ahoy! 0.99

00:09:17.000 I'm good. 0.99

00:09:18.000 And Norm's... Yeah, I'm still on that.

00:09:20.000 Norm is... We can joke about Norm dying.

00:09:23.000 That's how he would want it.

00:09:24.000 He would.

00:09:24.000 We have to laugh a little bit because that's what he was all about.

00:09:27.000 Yeah, it was exposing the darkness, the light.

00:09:29.000 Yeah, I don't know. 0.99

00:09:31.000 It sucks. 0.93

00:09:32.000 What's so amazing about him is everybody yesterday on Twitter was fighting as usual. 0.99

00:09:37.000 Right.

00:09:37.000 Just armchair whatever and then norm died and it just took over

00:09:41.000 Yeah, right is one of those things where even if people may have gone against him, whatever it was

00:09:46.000 It was just nice to see a minute of unity. Yeah off of a guy. I think that's true

00:09:51.000 And then most of us are a legend. Yes, then he was off the trending list like within five hours and you're sick

00:09:56.000 Oh Really wouldn't I don't know when Aaliyah is trending and 0.51

00:10:01.000 people mourn her I don't know how many years after her death whereas Aaliyah

00:10:05.000 died because 20 years without her Samsonite luggage Yep. 0.97

00:10:08.000 Look it up!

00:10:09.000 It happened.

00:10:10.000 I think that was Lisa Lopez, wasn't it?

00:10:13.000 What?

00:10:13.000 The left eye Lopez?

00:10:16.000 No, no.

00:10:16.000 Aaliyah was trending again because she died.

00:10:19.000 She died a long time ago.

00:10:20.000 We were like, oh Aaliyah!

00:10:21.000 I'm like, I know!

00:10:22.000 We didn't get Queen of the Damned 2! 1.00

00:10:23.000 Wait, I thought Lisa... How did Left Eye die? 0.98

00:10:26.000 Yeah, I forgot about that.

00:10:27.000 Plane crash.

00:10:27.000 Was it a plane crash?

00:10:28.000 Her name is Left Eye? 1.00

00:10:29.000 Yeah.

00:10:29.000 Is she a pirate?

00:10:31.000 TLC?

00:10:31.000 Come on.

00:10:31.000 Well, she was missing an eye.

00:10:33.000 Left Eye!

00:10:33.000 She was missing an eye?

00:10:34.000 You don't remember the eye patch one from the TLC video?

00:10:36.000 No!

00:10:37.000 In the overalls?

00:10:38.000 No.

00:10:39.000 Come on, the most doable.

00:10:39.000 I thought it was a fashion thing.

00:10:41.000 House Party 3.

00:10:42.000 Like Nelly with the Band-Aid.

00:10:43.000 Which I'm pretty sure Nelly had the Band-Aid because he had a bad zit and needed to cover it up temporarily, but then was like, nah, it's my thing, I'm gonna wear a Band-Aid. 0.98

00:10:53.000 That's gay! 0.99

00:10:54.000 And he was like, nah man, it's a fashion thing. 1.00

00:10:55.000 And then they lift it up and they see like a little white head like, oh damn! 0.99

00:10:59.000 Put that back on! 0.99

00:11:00.000 I believe Left Eye was either married to or dating a football player and she burned his house down too. 0.76

00:11:06.000 Oh, well that's good.

00:11:06.000 Another one lost too soon.

00:11:08.000 I was wrong, it was a Jeep accident.

00:11:10.000 That's what I thought it was.

00:11:10.000 Alright, let's stop talking about other people.

00:11:13.000 Let's stop talking about other people who don't matter.

00:11:15.000 So I tested negative here for COVID.

00:11:18.000 I want to be very clear.

00:11:18.000 I'm pretty sure I have a sinus infection.

00:11:20.000 I was in a room with four people yesterday who all had COVID and a fan blowing particles in my face.

00:11:26.000 My wife tested positive for COVID two days after I was feeling the symptoms.

00:11:30.000 So I got the symptoms of a sinus infection.

00:11:33.000 She really wasn't having them.

00:11:34.000 She just tested just because she was worried that she'd been near me.

00:11:37.000 And I will tell you, she's post-pregnancy, so we didn't do all the stuff, but we were doing some stuff.

00:11:41.000 The marriage bed is undefiled, so I don't know how I didn't get anything.

00:11:46.000 You guys can all see this is my third negative test.

00:11:50.000 What's your blood type?

00:11:51.000 Does he think that has anything to do with it?

00:11:53.000 No idea, but I did hear on CNN this morning, they were talking about how your T cell count may be what confers some people natural immunity.

00:12:01.000 And there is some concern with the vaccine and how it may interact with T cells.

00:12:04.000 They talked about this on CNN.

00:12:06.000 I can't confirm anything.

00:12:08.000 So here's what I will say.

00:12:10.000 I woke up this morning.

00:12:12.000 Feeling way worse.

00:12:13.000 Yeah.

00:12:13.000 When I woke up this morning and my throat was on fire.

00:12:18.000 And I thought, oh no.

00:12:21.000 This is what it is.

00:12:22.000 But don't worry, it's okay.

00:12:24.000 Turns out what happened was I had ordered Indian food.

00:12:26.000 I had ordered the lamb vindaloo up to spice level 10.

00:12:30.000 Oh.

00:12:31.000 And I had been burping in my sleep.

00:12:34.000 And so it burned my throat. 0.98

00:12:36.000 And only when I farted and it burned my butthole did I realize what was going on. 0.96

00:12:42.000 And then I was completely safe. 0.96

00:12:44.000 Saved by a fart.

00:12:44.000 True story. I woke up and was like, ahhh, ahh, and I was like,

00:12:48.000 Oh! I forgot about the vindaloo!

00:12:50.000 It's the curry.

00:12:53.000 Wow, what a terrible night for your wife. 1.00

00:12:55.000 No, no, no, I'm not sleeping there because right now I must have been in the same bed that COVID.

00:12:59.000 Well, originally I was sent away.

00:13:01.000 It's defiled, that marital bed.

00:13:04.000 Defiled by COVID.

00:13:05.000 I was sent away, but then she tested positive.

00:13:09.000 And I'm like, well, what the hell am I away for?

00:13:10.000 Why don't I get to sleep in my bed?

00:13:11.000 Everyone is positive.

00:13:12.000 So, all right.

00:13:14.000 We're going to go back to Norm here in a little bit, but first we're going to talk about the Gavin Newsom thing really quickly, and the Millie Blankens situation.

00:13:23.000 I have some strong thoughts on it, and then I want to get to honoring Norm as he deserved to be honored.

00:13:28.000 Well, that would probably be Norm.

00:13:29.000 They say the marriage bed isn't defiled, but You know, I've done my best there.

00:13:36.000 I don't know, now that they have gay marriage, have you seen what they do in hotels?

00:13:41.000 I don't know, it seems like Jesus would be up there saying, oh, that's mighty defiling.

00:13:49.000 Except for you guys.

00:13:53.000 Okay, so it appears that friend of the show Larry Elder is not going to replace, you know, Gavin Newsom as governor.

00:14:01.000 I was surprised he got, I was surprised he got 40, was it 46 percent of the vote?

00:14:05.000 Yeah, pretty high actually.

00:14:06.000 And Caitlyn Jenner got one.

00:14:08.000 Well, that makes sense.

00:14:10.000 Wow, that's right.

00:14:11.000 Continual hit-and-run former male track athlete now menstruating female Caitlyn Jenner shocked voters by only receiving one I think she went right into menopause. 1.00

00:14:29.000 That's what those hot flashes are.

00:14:30.000 Menopause.

00:14:32.000 I forgot she was even running.

00:14:33.000 Yeah, me too.

00:14:35.000 She was running.

00:14:35.000 It was a joke for a little while.

00:14:36.000 Then she's like, ah, I'm on the ballot, I might as well stay there.

00:14:39.000 Good try.

00:14:40.000 Running from biology, you know?

00:14:43.000 Don't catch me there.

00:14:45.000 Run over here.

00:14:47.000 She's ran from it.

00:14:51.000 Some people are trying to say that Larry Elder is gonna... Here's a clip.

00:14:54.000 So we have lost a battle, but we are absolutely going to win the war.

00:15:00.000 Call the violence!

00:15:01.000 Oh, I heard it.

00:15:02.000 Bay-based kids.

00:15:03.000 Is this the wrong clip?

00:15:04.000 Yeah.

00:15:06.000 And here's Gavin spinning, you know, everything that is ruining the United States.

00:15:10.000 I should say, maybe not ruining everything in the United States of America, but certainly California, a once-wonderful state, as a victory.

00:15:16.000 I want to focus on what we said yes to as a state.

00:15:21.000 We said yes to science.

00:15:22.000 Such a good-looking guy.

00:15:23.000 We said yes to vaccines.

00:15:25.000 We said yes to ending this pandemic.

00:15:27.000 Evil.

00:15:28.000 We said yes to people's right to vote without fear of fake fraud or voter suppression.

00:15:36.000 So let me be clear about what that means.

00:15:42.000 We said yes to vaccines.

00:15:43.000 What does that mean?

00:15:43.000 We said yes to vaccines, talking about mandates, not constitutional.

00:15:46.000 We said yes to diversity.

00:15:47.000 We said yes to inclusion.

00:15:50.000 So let me be clear about what that means.

00:15:51.000 We said yes to vaccines.

00:15:52.000 What does that mean?

00:15:53.000 We said yes to forcing people to be vaccinated.

00:15:55.000 We said yes to women's constitutional rights. 1.00

00:15:58.000 What does that mean?

00:15:58.000 We said yes to the right to women to end the life of another human being with separate DNA, with separate heartbeat, with separate toes, fingers, sexual reproductive organs.

00:16:08.000 We said yes to all those things.

00:16:10.000 And by the way, I'm pandering about all of it.

00:16:13.000 We said yes to diversity, which means we said yes to record number of illegal immigrants crossing the border, committing crimes, not being part of the vaccine mandates, by the way. 0.88

00:16:22.000 Though they are required to actually take doses of ivermectin to make sure they don't have parasitic worms.

00:16:27.000 We said yes to driving down American wages.

00:16:30.000 We said yes to effectively creating a new slave labor class here in California.

00:16:35.000 And we said yes to sending business after business to Texas, including the one that innovated electric environmentally friendly cars and Tesla.

00:16:47.000 We don't know how that one got away from us, but I won.

00:16:48.000 Oops. 0.99

00:16:49.000 And we said no to a black white supremacist. 0.98

00:16:52.000 Yes. 0.95

00:16:53.000 The first of its kind, really. 0.99

00:16:55.000 He's the black face of white supremacy. 0.99

00:16:57.000 He's the reverse Mickey Mouse. 0.95

00:16:58.000 They also said yes to more fires, less water, power that's really not able to be kept on most of the time. 1.00

00:17:04.000 And yes to stupidity. 1.00

00:17:06.000 You hate your cities that you live in and yet you voted for a Democrat again. 1.00

00:17:09.000 You get what you deserve, California.

00:17:11.000 I'm sorry.

00:17:11.000 And yes to Tom Selleck's avocado farm.

00:17:17.000 Takes so much water!

00:17:20.000 So it looks like not all your votes are in this.

00:17:22.000 The gap is 34 to 64.

00:17:23.000 Yeah, still more to be counted.

00:17:27.000 Seems tough to close for Elder to finish.

00:17:29.000 Last night it was like 46.

00:17:30.000 I think there were two things actually.

00:17:31.000 So I think you're right on the 46.

00:17:33.000 One was, do you want to recall him or not?

00:17:34.000 You actually had to vote for that on this ballot.

00:17:36.000 That was the gap, right?

00:17:38.000 And then if you do, who do you want to replace him?

00:17:40.000 And it would be...

00:17:41.000 Well, see, this is what that tells you.

00:17:43.000 It tells you that, just like, who was it who talked about this?

00:17:48.000 It might have been Larry Elder himself.

00:17:50.000 When Joe Biden came in, when Elizabeth Warren came in, none of them said that Newsom did a good job for California.

00:17:56.000 None of them said that his policies have been effective.

00:17:59.000 They said, you know, he trusted the science.

00:18:00.000 So when people are polled on, should we recall Gavin Newsom?

00:18:05.000 In California, mind you, 46% say yes.

00:18:09.000 So that tells you that he's done a bad job, that the policies aren't there.

00:18:13.000 Then, when they're forced to decide between Gavin Newsom and Larry Elder, and the media attack machine can do their job of actually convincing Californians that Larry Elder is a white supremacist, He gets less of the votes.

00:18:25.000 In other words, there is no policy.

00:18:27.000 There is no framework for the left to stand on.

00:18:29.000 Gavin Newsom knew it, and so what did they have to do?

00:18:32.000 Had to be racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia.

00:18:37.000 And that works in California.

00:18:39.000 I think it's going to work less and less across the country, so there's a silver lining there. 1.00

00:18:43.000 46% said, Gavin Newsom, you suck. 1.00

00:18:46.000 And then a significant portion said, Uh, you say that the black guys are white supremacists? 1.00

00:18:51.000 Well, this is California. 0.98

00:18:53.000 I buy it!

00:18:54.000 It's more proof of America being divided in half.

00:18:56.000 I don't think it's more proof of America being... I think it's more proof that the left exclusively, exclusively... This is not a right-wing thing.

00:19:03.000 Quotes for white guys pretending to be virtuous?

00:19:05.000 Yes, that too!

00:19:06.000 Because that's what happened with Biden.

00:19:07.000 But they exclusively campaign on identity politics, racism, because that's all they have.

00:19:13.000 What is Biden going to... Let's say elections were held right now.

00:19:16.000 What is Biden going to campaign on?

00:19:17.000 Successful economy?

00:19:19.000 Americans being safer?

00:19:20.000 No.

00:19:20.000 Right.

00:19:21.000 Better foreign policy?

00:19:23.000 Putting in a catheter?

00:19:24.000 Right.

00:19:24.000 COVID's gone, right?

00:19:26.000 No.

00:19:26.000 Nope.

00:19:27.000 COVID's not gone, so we're just going to force you to get mandates.

00:19:31.000 Unity?

00:19:32.000 Do we think that's a... In other words, even the sort of intangibles that he's going to unify the country, what could Biden campaign on?

00:19:38.000 So I guarantee you what he will campaign on in 2024 Whoever it is, it doesn't matter. 0.94

00:19:42.000 If it's Ted Cruz, if it's Ron DeSantis, if it's Donald Trump, we'll be racist, sexist, homophobic.

00:19:46.000 For crying out loud, they tried to say that Larry Elder was worse than Gavin Newsom's wife when Rose McGowan, I was just listening to this somewhere in the media, Rose McGowan said, you know, Gavin Newsom's wife and their law firm tried to offer me hush money. 0.57

00:19:59.000 And I don't know if it's true or not, but whatever happened to hashtag believeallwomen?

00:20:02.000 The point is... They didn't even cover it.

00:20:04.000 Including Rose McGowan.

00:20:06.000 Rose McGowan's like the one.

00:20:07.000 Right.

00:20:08.000 They didn't even cover it, but here's what's important about that.

00:20:11.000 They tried to say, well, really, if you think that Gavin Newsom is better for women than compared to, and heard them on the radio play a clip of Larry Elder saying, well, you know, at least Donald Trump has done more for fat, overweight women getting them off the couch with these marches than any Michelle Obama fitness initiative.

00:20:27.000 So you're comparing a joke about fat people to rape? 0.96

00:20:35.000 Wow. 0.99

00:20:35.000 This is where we are. 0.99

00:20:36.000 They cannot win on policy.

00:20:39.000 They try and tell you, look, we're more popular on policy because most Americans consider themselves pro-choice, but then when you get down, hold on a second, heartbeat, oh yeah, that makes sense, hold on a second, where should abortion be allowed?

00:20:49.000 It's nowhere near aligned with the DNC platform.

00:20:53.000 Hey, are you pro-immigration?

00:20:55.000 Sure!

00:20:55.000 Uh, then we got knuckled down.

00:20:57.000 Okay, are you pro-sanctuary city?

00:20:59.000 Well, no, of course not.

00:20:59.000 Should we be able to deport people here who are here illegally and are committing crimes?

00:21:02.000 Well, of course we should be able to.

00:21:04.000 Should people at the border be forced to pay, uh, forced to send the guests, but be forced to pay taxes?

00:21:07.000 Oh, of course they should.

00:21:08.000 So, they use buzzwords both to try and fool their base into voting for them.

00:21:13.000 We're pro-choice, we're pro-diversity, and then they change language to try and make you hate the people Who they're running against. 0.99

00:21:21.000 They're racist, sexist, transphobic, homophobic. 0.95

00:21:24.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:21:24.000 I think the guy who's more racist is the person who, first off, accuses the black guy of being a white supremacist and accuses him of not being black enough and who has supporters who dress up as gorillas and egg the black candidate. 1.00

00:21:38.000 I think at the very least you can make more of an argument that that's racist. 0.89

00:21:41.000 I think that's a reasonable position.

00:21:43.000 By the way, they always say that we are anti-immigrant, too.

00:21:45.000 It's like, no, it's just anti-illegal immigration.

00:21:47.000 You're trying to smear us with this stuff, guys.

00:21:49.000 You have nothing to run on.

00:21:51.000 Vote for Gavin is a vote for diversity, I say.

00:21:53.000 My house has never been cleaner.

00:21:57.000 They're really good.

00:21:58.000 I don't even know what that means.

00:22:00.000 Because I hire illegals to clean my house. 1.00

00:22:03.000 Careful.

00:22:04.000 You say that on this show, you will be audited.

00:22:07.000 If you're a Democrat, it's fine.

00:22:09.000 I'm already being audited.

00:22:12.000 The second I got this show, I got audited.

00:22:15.000 Head over to the shop, support the fight, and buy some cool threads.

00:22:17.000 and they're going through my records. I'm a comic, I don't have anything to hide.

00:22:21.000 What are you saying? It's like, yeah, go for it.

00:22:24.000 Um, hey, by the way, if you want to support the show, because we're not making anything

00:22:28.000 on YouTube, CrotterShop.com. Head over to the shop, support the fight,

00:22:34.000 and buy some cool threads. It's the Tits Pajamas. 0.98

00:22:38.000 CrotterShop.com. Oh, I didn't know we had a little stinger.

00:22:43.000 I just thought it was pretty good.

00:22:44.000 Yeah, well this is my favorite shirt.

00:22:45.000 Yeah, yeah, it's a fun one.

00:22:46.000 You can only get there at Crowder's Shop.

00:22:49.000 Hit the notification bell if you're watching, because subscriptions don't really work, and...

00:22:53.000 We're live Monday through Thursday 10 a.m.

00:22:55.000 Eastern.

00:22:55.000 That's the best way to support the show.

00:22:56.000 Just watch it.

00:22:57.000 Just tune in.

00:22:58.000 Watch live.

00:22:59.000 You know you'll never miss it.

00:23:00.000 Comment.

00:23:01.000 We'll be taking your chat later on Mug Club.

00:23:02.000 We are going to do an entire segment, which we couldn't do on YouTube because it's sexist, about all of our childhood crushes.

00:23:08.000 When we first realized that we were filthy straight men.

00:23:12.000 Also...

00:23:13.000 Also Angel Eyes over here who's helping to run the sound. 1.00

00:23:17.000 She's going to include her male crush where she realized she was a filthy cis-scum woman. 1.00

00:23:23.000 Oh, Kirk Cameron? 0.99

00:23:28.000 I think she's a little, she's a little tall. 0.93

00:23:31.000 Cody?

00:23:32.000 She's 5'3".

00:23:33.000 So, vaccine, more vaccine fascism is what's going on right now.

00:23:39.000 And I mean this, fascism, people throw around the term fascism, like what about forcing someone to get a vaccine?

00:23:43.000 And this is, this is something when I was there talking with people yesterday, when COVID tests all this stuff, and no one disagreed.

00:23:50.000 And you had pro-vaccine, you had pro-vaccine people, you had, I will say anecdotally, most people that had been vaccinated.

00:23:56.000 Tested positive.

00:23:57.000 Certainly a percentage of them.

00:23:59.000 We know this across the country.

00:24:00.000 This is no longer a conspiracy.

00:24:01.000 We've acknowledged it.

00:24:03.000 But no one disagreed with the fact that it is absolutely insane, and like you were talking about, divisive, to label any Americans who say COVID is real, it's a real virus, and it affects certain people really negatively.

00:24:18.000 For example, far more lethal for old people than the standard flu.

00:24:22.000 We won't get into numbers with young people and infants, but it's a real virus, and it affects certain demographics very negatively, and that needs to be taken seriously.

00:24:29.000 Precautions need to be taken to protect those people who are most at risk.

00:24:32.000 Also, not a reason to shut down the economy, destroy it for generations to come, and certainly not a reason to effectively forcefully evaporate people's individual freedoms to take a vaccine or not.

00:24:46.000 And anyone who says, hey, Vaccine probably safe, but we don't have any long-term studies, and if you say that you're lying because you couldn't possibly, doesn't make them an anti-vaxxer.

00:25:00.000 It is divisive to consider someone who maintains all those points of view.

00:25:03.000 As an anti-voxer.

00:25:04.000 And every single person there, who I was there with yesterday, getting my test, the whole clinic, all this, agreed.

00:25:10.000 They said, yeah, yeah, this is really bad.

00:25:11.000 I can't believe it.

00:25:12.000 Yeah, typically, this is the medical, this is the science position, is to wait for long-term data.

00:25:17.000 Yeah.

00:25:18.000 Right?

00:25:18.000 We don't tend to rush things out.

00:25:21.000 Well, my wife went and got the monoclonal antibodies.

00:25:26.000 It says on there, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, that the risks may outweigh the rewards, and so you probably should talk with your doctor, but in the absence of speaking with your doctor, not do it.

00:25:36.000 It doesn't say that with the vaccine!

00:25:37.000 No, no.

00:25:38.000 If you're not breastfeeding, can you read the sign?

00:25:41.000 That's not even... I get it.

00:25:44.000 Let's not just pull me off with the punchline here.

00:25:47.000 I'm sorry.

00:25:47.000 No, it's okay.

00:25:48.000 This is important right now.

00:25:49.000 We're talking about the vaccines.

00:25:50.000 My wife was there.

00:25:51.000 My wife is breastfeeding. 0.95

00:25:52.000 So this matters.

00:25:53.000 My wife has to know, do I need to stop breastfeeding? 1.00

00:25:55.000 Yeah.

00:25:56.000 My wife is doing it. 1.00

00:25:57.000 What happens if I take the antibodies?

00:25:59.000 What happens if I take any treatment?

00:26:00.000 Same thing with the vaccine. 0.99

00:26:02.000 These are questions that need to be fucking asked. 0.99

00:26:05.000 And they've always been asked if someone is pregnant or breastfeeding. 0.99

00:26:09.000 The standard of proof is you need to prove beyond any doubt.

00:26:12.000 Not even reasonable doubt.

00:26:13.000 Beyond any doubt whatsoever that this will not cause harm to a pregnant or breastfeeding woman, and they still apply that to monoclonal antibodies, which, by the way, if you go in and I highly recommend it, if you do test positive, has the shortest list of side effects I have ever seen from any medication in my life, and that includes my daily Zyrtec!

00:26:32.000 One of them was a smile.

00:26:34.000 But all of a sudden, with a vaccine, it's out the window.

00:26:37.000 Yeah.

00:26:38.000 No, that pisses me off, because my wife doesn't even get an exemption with work for being somebody who was breastfeeding at the time, and then we find out she's pregnant, and the work's like, hey, sorry.

00:26:46.000 The work literally responded.

00:26:47.000 I'm not going to say who.

00:26:48.000 Literally responded.

00:26:49.000 Prove to us that it will hurt you.

00:26:51.000 What?

00:26:52.000 Show us the study that tells us that this is a problem for pregnant or nursing women. 0.99

00:26:58.000 Are you insane?

00:26:58.000 Well, they don't have the study, so how are you going to prove it?

00:27:01.000 One of the nurses came up and said, oh, you're pregnant and you have COVID? 0.98

00:27:04.000 You should get the vaccine right now, you know, it'll protect you.

00:27:07.000 And then a doctor said, wait, wait, wait, that nurse said that the vaccine was treatment?

00:27:15.000 So I have to worry about my wife being healthy because of a nurse with an opinion. 1.00

00:27:21.000 Anyway, all right, so this is the thing Fauci now said that there may be vaccines for, so I use the term fascism.

00:27:27.000 Actually, when you're talking about ultimately checkpoints for people in the United States, not even traveling internationally, on roads, mandates for interstate travel.

00:27:38.000 Here's Geppetto himself.

00:27:40.000 This is very common practice now in Europe.

00:27:42.000 I've just been traveling all over Europe.

00:27:43.000 You can't get on a plane without having some kind of proof that you're negative.

00:27:47.000 It seems to me crazy that a year and a half into this, you can still, I can still get on a plane to Boston or California and nobody's going to check me.

00:27:54.000 Do you think that needs to change?

00:27:57.000 Well, that's under consideration, certainly.

00:27:59.000 I mean, I have been asked that question and it actually got some play in the press when I made the answer.

00:28:06.000 I think that if, in fact, it is seriously considered, it's on the table.

00:28:11.000 We're not there yet.

00:28:12.000 In fact, if you look at the six-point program that the president came out with a couple of days What we were talking about with travel was doubling the

00:28:21.000 fines of people who in fact are traveling and don't get tested.

00:28:27.000 And I believe that the idea about requiring vaccination for travel is something that is

00:28:33.000 on the table for discussion.

00:28:35.000 It has not been decided yet.

00:28:37.000 Answer a question once in your life.

00:28:40.000 Yeah, dude.

00:28:40.000 Every single answer he's ever given is that, where it's like, I don't know.

00:28:44.000 Well, I actually did answer this question.

00:28:45.000 But I was in the press.

00:28:46.000 He did answer this question not long ago, it's a good point, over Lacey, that there would not be any vaccine mandates.

00:28:53.000 Oh, good.

00:28:53.000 So now he's saying we can answer this again.

00:28:55.000 We'll begin to the Norm tribute, but it would be, oh, okay, so now, you know, Dr. Anthony Fauci there, you know, the only scientist left.

00:29:05.000 You know, he says that, uh, we're gonna have interstate travel.

00:29:07.000 And so the advice to people out there, uh, particularly to people advocating for these, uh, vaccines and mandates, uh, is, uh, what we need you to do is go south on the 405 and take an exit as you go east on the 101.

00:29:20.000 And then you're going to take an exit at North Sepulveda Boulevard, pull up to the stop sign, roll it.

00:29:25.000 Be sure to always roll the stop sign, right?

00:29:26.000 Of course, you don't wanna, you wanna stop, you don't wanna, uh, go. 1.00

00:29:29.000 Then, uh, continue down toward, uh, Manhattan Beach and go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:29:33.000 How about that? 1.00

00:29:37.000 And you're wondering where this is going, and then, oh, I see, Norm.

00:29:40.000 Yeah, thank you.

00:29:41.000 Appreciate that.

00:29:42.000 That's unbelievable that we're taking advice from somebody who says, Europe has it right, by the way, and I can't just travel from place to place.

00:29:48.000 I have to show proof of vaccination.

00:29:50.000 He's like, yeah, I think that sounds about right.

00:29:52.000 No, this is a completely different country.

00:29:54.000 What about the Europe that didn't lock down and do any of that stuff?

00:29:56.000 We have a different understanding of how this is supposed to go.

00:29:58.000 No, they did in Europe.

00:29:58.000 You mean places like Sweden.

00:30:00.000 Yeah, it's odd when a guy who thinks AIDS was airborne is off about something.

00:30:05.000 I'm trying. 0.97

00:30:06.000 I hate them so much.

00:30:07.000 Honestly, I hope they do it.

00:30:08.000 Listen.

00:30:09.000 I hope.

00:30:09.000 We don't have all... This is true.

00:30:11.000 We've talked about Fauci and AIDS.

00:30:12.000 You can... You know what?

00:30:13.000 We'll include it in the description.

00:30:14.000 All the sources we have are available.

00:30:16.000 Also, the Norm Clip's available.

00:30:17.000 LotOfCredit.com, link in the description.

00:30:19.000 But let's include a link, too, for people who haven't seen our segment on Fauci and AIDS.

00:30:22.000 This is where Oprah got that one in five heterosexual couples would get AIDS, and that it was airborne, that a kid could get AIDS in the household if the father had AIDS.

00:30:32.000 This is Dr. Fauci, who hasn't seen a patient in half a millennium.

00:30:38.000 Just to be clear, the science we don't know yet, but with AIDS, we don't have long-term studies, but the penis can act as an AIDS nebulizer.

00:30:50.000 You can get it from gay sex, you can get it from sharing needles, you can get it from a child's cough. 1.00

00:30:56.000 Yeah, you can get it from a child's puff. 1.00

00:30:57.000 For example, if he reaches in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch with his hand, this is why you're poor. 1.00

00:31:04.000 This is why you have balls, Jimmy. 0.95

00:31:07.000 If he reaches in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and then the mother reaches in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, then, if she's pregnant, the boy will have flippers. 0.98

00:31:17.000 And then the box of life is empty, just like their box of life.

00:31:22.000 And kicks will be kicks the bucket. 1.00

00:31:26.000 You're all gonna die! 1.00

00:31:27.000 All of you. 1.00

00:31:29.000 Penis nebulized. 0.99

00:31:30.000 As you turn in tricks, let's do a cereal bit. 0.97

00:31:33.000 We don't even need to get into the next... I don't even want to talk about one of the vaccine mandates.

00:31:36.000 Look, here's the deal.

00:31:38.000 If you don't understand what that means, just like people say, oh, tax the rich more.

00:31:41.000 That means take it at gunpoint.

00:31:42.000 What this means is checkpoints.

00:31:43.000 You want checkpoints here in America to travel from Oklahoma to Texas?

00:31:46.000 That's the only way to enforce this.

00:31:48.000 Remember they said vaccine passports will not happen?

00:31:50.000 How do you enforce vaccine mandates?

00:31:52.000 Of course you have to have passports, vaccine passports, to go into anywhere. 0.62

00:31:55.000 How do you enforce interstate travel?

00:31:58.000 You have to have checkpoints.

00:31:59.000 There's no other way to.

00:32:01.000 Well, and to remind you, we did have checkpoints.

00:32:03.000 That's the scary part.

00:32:05.000 Last year, when I was living in New York, they would have soldiers standing outside waiting, and they couldn't have looked more bored and annoyed with it.

00:32:12.000 But to make you fill out something that said you would wait two weeks, blah, blah, blah, that would always happen.

00:32:17.000 That was already bad enough.

00:32:18.000 In New York?

00:32:19.000 In New York, yes.

00:32:20.000 Yes, and we need to avoid it happening anywhere that's not New York.

00:32:23.000 Exactly.

00:32:23.000 Yeah, they want to roll that out to a neighborhood near you.

00:32:26.000 I am so glad that New York is becoming Escape from New York.

00:32:29.000 Yes.

00:32:29.000 And L.A.

00:32:30.000 is becoming Escape from L.A.

00:32:31.000 It deserves it.

00:32:32.000 It does.

00:32:32.000 Well, I mean, de Blasio's possibly the worst mayor, in my opinion, ever.

00:32:38.000 That's saying something.

00:32:40.000 Worse than Kilpatrick.

00:32:41.000 Worse than Coleman Young.

00:32:43.000 What?

00:32:44.000 Wow.

00:32:45.000 Wow.

00:32:45.000 Coleman Young never danced in an empty Times Square with his wife.

00:32:50.000 That's the creepiest horror movie thing I have ever seen.

00:32:54.000 It's almost like the Joker dancing into the art gallery.

00:32:57.000 Yeah, he's just playing Prince on a boombox.

00:33:00.000 Who compares that?

00:33:01.000 They're like, what do you think is better, Jack Nicholson or Heath Ledger?

00:33:04.000 It's like, oh, the guy who dances with a boombox, the prince, or the really good actor?

00:33:10.000 Good lord.

00:33:11.000 We'll figure it out.

00:33:12.000 It's not even comparable.

00:33:13.000 Ah, you're forgetting the 32nd to Mars singer.

00:33:16.000 That's true.

00:33:17.000 Oh, God.

00:33:18.000 He really wants to come back and play him again.

00:33:21.000 Yeah, I know.

00:33:21.000 Please, no.

00:33:22.000 Hopefully there's justice in this world.

00:33:25.000 So let's go to what's going on here.

00:33:28.000 Do we have the clip first from Romney questioning Blinken?

00:33:32.000 That's clip F2?

00:33:33.000 Yep.

00:33:33.000 Okay, so look.

00:33:34.000 Before we get to Millie, there was a Blinken questioning here yesterday.

00:33:37.000 Yeah.

00:33:37.000 And everyone is talking about Millie, and I want to talk about that in a second, and I want to hear where you guys line up.

00:33:41.000 And then the rest of the show is going to be a tribute to Norman.

00:33:44.000 I do, please.

00:33:45.000 Not please.

00:33:46.000 Look, you should absolutely do it.

00:33:50.000 You don't know Norm.

00:33:51.000 Most people don't.

00:33:52.000 He wasn't just funny.

00:33:53.000 He was the funniest, but there's a lot more to him, and most people haven't read his book.

00:33:57.000 I know that because I know the sales of his book.

00:33:59.000 You should read his book.

00:34:01.000 After this show, nothing would make me happier than you watching Norm clips all day.

00:34:06.000 And everyone else is going to show you the clip of the moth joke.

00:34:08.000 From norm which is a great joke that he told on Conan it was actually I think about behind steinjoker

00:34:13.000 Bob I seen a norm were very good friends They would lift jokes from each other all the time just to

00:34:16.000 be really clear Everyone's going to show you the Joe up the show with what's-her-name

00:34:20.000 from mom 90210 about carrot top They're going to show you the SP awards, and these are

00:34:25.000 great great bits But there's a the bits that YouTube hides from you

00:34:30.000 For example, I'm going to talk about The View.

00:34:32.000 It could not be found on YouTube.

00:34:34.000 It's true.

00:34:35.000 For six years.

00:34:36.000 What?

00:34:36.000 Yeah.

00:34:37.000 So the stuff that you are not allowed to find when you search for Norm is what we've tried to pull out from the archives for you at first.

00:34:44.000 Also, I just want to say real quick, listen to his book on Audible is what I recommend because it is hilarious.

00:34:49.000 Yeah, I need to listen to it.

00:34:50.000 It's the best way to listen to it.

00:34:51.000 Where he always talks about wild turkey, why don't we?

00:34:53.000 Which he doesn't drink.

00:34:55.000 It's like a Hunter S. Thompson book.

00:34:57.000 It's great.

00:34:57.000 Yeah, it is the funniest book.

00:35:00.000 It's completely made up.

00:35:01.000 That's what's great.

00:35:02.000 And he said some of it isn't.

00:35:02.000 It's brilliant.

00:35:04.000 He's like, some of it isn't, but I knew that I could only avoid legal liability if I just said it all was.

00:35:07.000 Yeah.

00:35:09.000 So before we get to the Millie thing, I think that what sets the stage here is, and I know, Mitt Romney, you know what to do.

00:35:15.000 Hit it.

00:35:18.000 Do you have the audio?

00:35:19.000 Come on, you've got to have it, right?

00:35:20.000 Mitt Romney.

00:35:20.000 How do we feel about Mitt Romney?

00:35:21.000 Romney, he sucks! 1.00

00:35:23.000 There we go. 1.00

00:35:25.000 But, he did grill Blinken with some questioning yesterday.

00:35:29.000 And I think this is important because it'll bring us into the Millie situation.

00:35:32.000 Let's roll that clip of Romney and Blinken.

00:35:35.000 How many of them approximately, you said we don't know the exact number, but how many legal permanent residents are we convinced are still in Afghanistan?

00:35:43.000 We don't have an exact number, but a round number?

00:35:46.000 Pardon?

00:35:46.000 In the thousands.

00:35:47.000 In the thousands.

00:35:49.000 So this is important.

00:35:50.000 This is important because... What?

00:35:52.000 And someone said you need to stop saying this is important, and that's true.

00:35:54.000 But that's because there's a lot of foolishness that goes on in this show, and then I feel the need to delineate. 0.98

00:35:58.000 Look, I need to separate penis nebulizer from... Right, yeah, there we go. 0.99

00:36:03.000 It's delineation.

00:36:05.000 Remember, Joe Biden said, no one will be left behind.

00:36:09.000 None.

00:36:10.000 None will be left behind, man.

00:36:10.000 Right.

00:36:11.000 It's America.

00:36:12.000 Then I told you on this show, and you can go back, I believe it was last week, might

00:36:17.000 have been a little bit before that, where I said, look, now that we've left Afghanistan,

00:36:22.000 and there are at this point, we thought hundreds, but now we know thousands, instead of Americans,

00:36:26.000 and of course, serious allies.

00:36:27.000 I'm not talking about everyone in Afghanistan who's not from Taliban. 0.98

00:36:30.000 I'm talking about every ally who actually helped us, but specifically Americans, because

00:36:33.000 Americans first. 0.97

00:36:35.000 The message will be from Joe Biden, anyone who wanted to come home, yeah, could come

00:36:41.000 home.

00:36:42.000 Now admitting, Blinken, on the stand, again, when there are penalties for lying, that's

00:36:48.000 not true.

00:36:49.000 There are thousands.

00:36:50.000 He went on to say when you include our allies, Romney said tens of thousands.

00:36:52.000 He said, I don't know, but it would be a substantial number.

00:36:54.000 So there are thousands.

00:36:56.000 Thousands of Americans and thousands of people who helped us fight off the Taliban, not to mention how many dogs who did want to come home, who attempted to come home, for months, and were blocked at the airport, who are stranded in Afghanistan, and that should give you a pit in your stomach, and it should also scare you that me, this guy, called it exactly.

00:37:17.000 I told you they were going to say any American who wants to come home.

00:37:21.000 It's not true, and now they admitted it's not true.

00:37:23.000 That's insane.

00:37:24.000 I had not heard that.

00:37:25.000 I heard the hundreds, right?

00:37:26.000 After they kind of stopped doing any of the airlifts, they gave the base back over.

00:37:29.000 They said, oh yeah, there may be hundreds there.

00:37:33.000 They never have an exact number, and I understand that that's hard to get.

00:37:35.000 Said at least thousands.

00:37:36.000 But at least that so he was specifically talking about American citizens said in Afghanistan because he said legal

00:37:42.000 permanent residents Yeah, assuming men of the United States right that we're 0.98

00:37:45.000 just in Afghanistan. We bring in all We don't just be every Taliban member in a sailor suit 0.99

00:37:50.000 trying to get on the plane well, he's only bringing in a lot of food. I love cheeseburgers and pizza

00:37:57.000 Becky Boo, what's a dish?

00:37:57.000 and hot dogs.

00:38:00.000 Oh, can you see?

00:38:02.000 I'd like to get on a plane.

00:38:03.000 Very misreferenced, by the way.

00:38:04.000 Don't ruin it, Jim.

00:38:04.000 Got it.

00:38:05.000 Don't you fall back into old habits.

00:38:07.000 Just saying.

00:38:07.000 Eb Lincoln.

00:38:13.000 I love that you said sailor suit when it's a landlocked country that doesn't have a navy.

00:38:16.000 Well, that's the giveaway.

00:38:17.000 That's how you know if it's actually a child or if it's a bearded terrorist disguised as a child. 0.52

00:38:22.000 Look by the handkerchief.

00:38:24.000 They have Halloween Afghanistan.

00:38:26.000 Yes, they do.

00:38:27.000 Spirit Halloween.

00:38:28.000 And the good thing is if you're a woman in Afghanistan, it's Halloween Afghanistan. 1.00

00:38:32.000 It's true.

00:38:32.000 Every day!

00:38:33.000 But you can only dress as one thing.

00:38:35.000 Yeah, one costume.

00:38:37.000 Or, if you technically do, it is multi-use as the Kim Kardashian Met Gala.

00:38:43.000 That's true, that's true.

00:38:45.000 This is like the Steve Jobs lettuce loading.

00:38:47.000 But just put two Christmas hams down your back and... Oh yeah.

00:38:50.000 Kim Kardashian Met Gala! 1.00

00:38:52.000 She made sex tape! 1.00

00:38:54.000 Stone her! 1.00

00:38:55.000 Look at her ass. 1.00

00:38:57.000 Her ass is the laziest. 1.00

00:39:02.000 So that's what happened with Blinken yesterday. 1.00

00:39:04.000 That sets the stage for now Millie.

00:39:05.000 This is trending, and I want to show you a clip from CNN.

00:39:09.000 I want to talk about what's going on with Millie, and then I'm going to present to you, and I want you to hold me to what I'm about to say today, just like I wanted you to hold me to the fact that Biden was saying any Americans who want to come home got home, and I said it was a lie.

00:39:22.000 Look, come back, mock me if I'm wrong about this today, mercilessly.

00:39:27.000 I'm going to call it.

00:39:29.000 So, Millie, and I'm not saying, because everyone always comes back afterwards and says, I called it today.

00:39:34.000 I'll call it.

00:39:35.000 I will tell you exactly when and what I'm going to call.

00:39:38.000 I want you to come back and tell me if I am wrong, and I will make a call that I can be, on which I can verifiably be proven wrong.

00:39:46.000 Hold me to it.

00:39:47.000 So, CNN reported on an upcoming book written by Washington Post reporter Robert Costa, and there was someone else who helped with it.

00:39:55.000 The book alleges that General Milley instructed the military, I want to make sure I get this right, not to obey orders on military strikes without his approval following January 6th.

00:40:05.000 The book also alleges that Milley actually called, spoke, With top representatives in China.

00:40:13.000 I don't know if we know exactly, was it supposed to be the Chinese?

00:40:16.000 I don't know exactly who it was, but it was higher-ups.

00:40:18.000 Because that's been misreported a little bit.

00:40:20.000 But certainly people in the highest levels of government, if not the top, saying, hey, we're friends.

00:40:26.000 If Donald Trump is going rogue and is going to try and, you know, if he might try and attack you guys, I'm going to give you a heads up.

00:40:34.000 Cool.

00:40:34.000 treason. Yes, exactly. Let's show them talk about it on CNN because

00:40:38.000 apparently there may be, the reason this is in a book and it's a big big deal is

00:40:42.000 I haven't seen the hard evidence. Donald Trump himself said that he didn't think

00:40:46.000 it was true when he was asked in an interview but if so it's treason. CNN

00:40:51.000 seems to think it's true.

00:40:52.000 So I'm going to call it.

00:40:53.000 If they seem to think they have access to some tapes, they have access to some evidence, but they know it's damning, so they don't want you to have it.

00:40:59.000 And only if someone does their due diligence and investigates what's going on at CNN and these media companies will we ever know the truth.

00:41:04.000 They have something.

00:41:05.000 We don't.

00:41:06.000 Calling it right now.

00:41:07.000 Here's them talking about it. 0.65

00:41:08.000 He believes Trump, to your point, is unstable, unpredictable, and Woodward and Costa write, Milley believes that Trump is in serious mental decline.

00:41:21.000 He also has been talking back-channel to the Chinese.

00:41:24.000 He is aware from intelligence that the Chinese are on edge because of January 6th.

00:41:30.000 It's all because of Trump's behavior.

00:41:33.000 So he's trying to reassure them behind the scenes.

00:41:38.000 Has the same concerns that Millie does.

00:41:41.000 The phone call is dramatic.

00:41:43.000 It is blunt.

00:41:44.000 And Pelosi wants Millie to reassure her that the nuclear weapons are safe.

00:41:50.000 And this is the exchange.

00:41:52.000 Pelosi.

00:41:53.000 Who knows what he might do. 1.00

00:41:55.000 He's crazy. 1.00

00:41:55.000 You know he's crazy. 1.00

00:41:57.000 He's been crazy for a long time. 0.99

00:41:59.000 So don't say you don't know what his state of mind is. 1.00

00:42:02.000 He's crazy. 0.96

00:42:03.000 And what he did yesterday, meaning actually two days ago, January 6th, is further evidence of his craziness. 0.80

00:42:10.000 General Milley says, Madam Speaker, I agree with you on everything.

00:42:16.000 By the way, have you noticed that every single picture and video of General Milley looks like the ghost of General Milley?

00:42:21.000 Yes.

00:42:22.000 Looks like if General Milley came through a wall on Frighteners.

00:42:25.000 Oh yeah, it really does.

00:42:26.000 He's definitely got that white and black bag. 0.95

00:42:30.000 Also, there's no picture of Nancy Pelosi where she doesn't just look like an old haggard dog. 0.96

00:42:35.000 Yeah, well because they're trying to say that Pelosi was calling Trump crazy, and Pelosi will look crazy if you show any picture of Pelosi at all. 0.90

00:42:44.000 She says it four times. 0.99

00:42:45.000 He's crazy! 1.00

00:42:46.000 He's crazy, right? 1.00

00:42:47.000 He's crazy! 0.99

00:42:48.000 I can't hear you, Madam Speaker! 0.99

00:42:49.000 That's just my blow dryer! 0.92

00:42:53.000 The salon ladies turned it up, hold on! 1.00

00:42:56.000 Hold on, I have to go shit in the street! 0.99

00:42:59.000 Gotta keep up with tradition, San Francisco! 1.00

00:43:02.000 My driveway is covered in bum feces! 1.00

00:43:05.000 And that's the way I like it! 0.97

00:43:09.000 Clang clang clang like the trolley!

00:43:11.000 Are you just singing show tunes? 0.99

00:43:13.000 He's crazy! 0.95

00:43:14.000 Not me! 1.00

00:43:15.000 He's crazy!

00:43:15.000 I have ice cream!

00:43:17.000 Look at all of it! 1.00

00:43:18.000 He's nuts! 0.61

00:43:19.000 Speaking of nuts, do you like pecan?

00:43:22.000 He's nothing like this $4,000 ice cream that I put in my $90,000 freezer!

00:43:27.000 There's no business like show business!

00:43:30.000 She looks like every scarf is covering a trach hole. 1.00

00:43:32.000 Does she just be on that commercial where she's like, this is what I have to do now.

00:43:36.000 Right, like she's gonna have a Val Kilmer equivalent documentary coming out.

00:43:41.000 Oh, that was sad.

00:43:42.000 So let me go through treason really quickly before I present to you how they're going to argue this.

00:43:47.000 Again, hold me to it.

00:43:50.000 Under U.S.

00:43:51.000 Code 18, Section 2387, this is, it defined a member of the armed forces who, with intent to interfere with, impair, or influence the loyalty, morale, or discipline of the military or naval forces of the United States, or advises, counsels, urges, or in any manner causes or attempts to cause insubordination, disloyalty, mutiny, or refusal of duty by any member of the military or naval forces of the United States.

00:44:21.000 So let me give you a few quick points here, okay?

00:44:24.000 This is important and you guys can come in.

00:44:25.000 Commander-in-Chief doesn't actually apply to all Americans.

00:44:28.000 Commander-in-Chief applies to people who are serving the United States military because their boss is the President.

00:44:33.000 Whether you like that or not, if he issues orders, you have to carry out orders.

00:44:39.000 To usurp those orders is treasonous, and we're talking specifically about treason if you are an active member of the military.

00:44:46.000 Let me also paint to you a picture sort of pragmatically.

00:44:49.000 Let's say you're going to buy a used car, and the dealer wants $20,000 for the car.

00:44:56.000 And you go in with your top guy.

00:44:58.000 You go in with your second in command.

00:45:00.000 You say, look, I'm probably willing to pay $17,500, but I'm going to start at $15,000.

00:45:05.000 He goes, OK, good.

00:45:06.000 So you're on the same page.

00:45:07.000 You understand the negotiation.

00:45:09.000 Your friend says, hold on.

00:45:10.000 I got to go to the bathroom.

00:45:11.000 He goes to the car dealer.

00:45:12.000 Hey, by the way, he'll take $17,500.

00:45:13.000 He's just ruined!

00:45:16.000 He's taken away all of your leverage. 0.56

00:45:18.000 Now, let's use that and apply bombs. 0.92

00:45:22.000 Apply nuclear weapons. 0.67

00:45:24.000 Apply life-altering trade deals.

00:45:27.000 That's why you can't have treason.

00:45:30.000 Now, I do think this is treason, and we have... I can't say it on YouTube, but there's a punishment for treason in the military.

00:45:36.000 Look it up!

00:45:37.000 Take a wild guess.

00:45:38.000 Here's the issue here, or this is what I want you to hold me to.

00:45:41.000 I guarantee you this is how the media is going to frame this.

00:45:45.000 Tell me if I'm wrong.

00:45:46.000 They're going to say, well, at this point, you know, General Milley is actually a hero because he was trying to, he was so concerned about crazy, crazy, crazy, nine times from Nancy Pelosi, he was so concerned about a crazy, unstable Trump that he was actually trying to protect your constitutional rights by going around him.

00:46:03.000 He was torn between obeying a president with no disregard for the Constitution or your rights, who was willing to completely Completely bypass constitutional law.

00:46:15.000 So he had to take action for the good of the American people.

00:46:19.000 That's how they're going to argue it.

00:46:21.000 Just like they were arguing every American who wanted to leave could leave, and I told you that wasn't the case.

00:46:26.000 They're going to argue that Milley is a hero who is trying to protect your constitutional rights against a tyrant, Donald Trump.

00:46:30.000 That will be the argument.

00:46:32.000 Now let me ask you, if this passes the sniff test, General Milley was trying to protect our constitutional rights from the tyrant that is Donald Trump by feeding information to China?

00:46:46.000 A nation that affords no rights, let alone a constitution?

00:46:52.000 You believe the hero of the Constitution to accept the premise that the media will be feeding you that General Milley acted on conscience against an anti-constitutional president?

00:47:04.000 By going around the back of the president of the only country that has a constitution like we have, by the way, which includes freedom of speech and freedom to protect that freedom of speech, to inform the Communist Chinese Party!

00:47:18.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:47:25.000 I was watching CNN this morning trying not to lose my mind because they're laying the groundwork for that and saying that this happens all the time.

00:47:32.000 This happened in Iran, this happened in North Korea, and I'm like, do you understand what you just heard on that call?

00:47:37.000 You heard the Speaker of the House Going and basically becoming the executive branch, saying, don't worry about what the president, he's crazy, you have to make sure that these weapons are secure.

00:47:50.000 Nancy Pelosi has zero say in if we go to war. 0.99

00:47:53.000 She has zero say if we launch nuclear weapons.

00:47:55.000 Guess who also has zero say?

00:47:56.000 General Milley.

00:47:57.000 He does not get to approve it.

00:47:58.000 If he does not follow an order from Donald Trump, by the way, the president who didn't attack anyone and start wars. The entire modern presidency, right? And so you're

00:48:07.000 now concerned in 14 days, Nancy?

00:48:09.000 Sorry, January 8th. 12 days that he's going to do that? No.

00:48:13.000 That is not how you run a country.

00:48:14.000 And there's a reason that you don't do that. Because it's not about how you feel, General.

00:48:18.000 It's not about how you feel, Nancy, about Donald Trump. It is about the laws that we have set in

00:48:23.000 place and the processes and procedures to make sure tyranny does not come back.

00:48:28.000 You are not the president.

00:48:29.000 And no matter how bad you want to be, you're not that guy making the decision.

00:48:33.000 And this is an amazing thing for people to say is normal.

00:48:37.000 And it's good that he did that.

00:48:38.000 No, it's never good to go around the system like this.

00:48:40.000 Well, even if you believe that he went around the system, he went around the system to China.

00:48:43.000 Let's be clear.

00:48:44.000 So there's no going around the system to a system that will afford anybody more rights.

00:48:48.000 Well, and what's the best endgame of that?

00:48:50.000 Us being destroyed?

00:48:51.000 I mean, China's a massive country.

00:48:54.000 Let's be honest, they could overpower us and they have our debt.

00:48:57.000 Right.

00:48:58.000 So why would you do that?

00:48:59.000 Well, and they hate Tyrone!

00:49:00.000 To prove that Donald Trump is mean?

00:49:04.000 Well, the truth is we're relying on a height advantage when it comes to the overpowering.

00:49:08.000 I know, I'm tall there.

00:49:10.000 I get off the plane and I'm like, I'm your king!

00:49:11.000 They're just gonna have to throw all their bodies at our border like World War Z. You know they all have the same haircut? 1.00

00:49:18.000 It's very similar.

00:49:19.000 Very, very similar.

00:49:19.000 Strikingly.

00:49:20.000 You know who's really pissed off about this, though?

00:49:22.000 Taiwan.

00:49:23.000 You know one of the reasons that China doesn't just take them back? 0.90

00:49:26.000 Because the United States military.

00:49:28.000 They cannot defend themselves.

00:49:29.000 John Cena?

00:49:30.000 John Cena, yeah.

00:49:31.000 He's very, very, very sorry.

00:49:32.000 He's gonna come in and nebulize his steroids so they all become sterile.

00:49:36.000 We're the threat!

00:49:37.000 When you take that away, and literally in the book I think they were quoting it saying, they were like, hey, don't listen to the tweets, don't listen to the rhetoric, everything's fine.

00:49:45.000 Come on.

00:49:46.000 Are you serious?

00:49:47.000 The people in Taiwan right now are shaking because they just saw us bail on Afghanistan and leave not only them, but our citizens behind.

00:49:53.000 Without the United States Navy, Taiwan would cease to exist.

00:49:55.000 It would. 0.99

00:49:56.000 And it's the threat of the United States saying, China, keep your ass in line. 1.00

00:50:00.000 We side with these guys. 0.99

00:50:01.000 Taiwan, not with you. 0.99

00:50:03.000 Donald Trump, I wish you would have been firmer on that, but certainly was more firm than Milley.

00:50:08.000 Certainly was more for him than Joe Biden.

00:50:10.000 Okay, let's move on here to the Norm Macdonald tribute.

00:50:13.000 And this is, I think this is actually going to be a lot of fun.

00:50:15.000 Before we go into some other information, of course, Deadline reported that Norm passed away nine, was it nine?

00:50:22.000 Nine years.

00:50:24.000 Secret battle.

00:50:24.000 Nine years of cancer as he was fighting.

00:50:26.000 We didn't even tell his fans or his family.

00:50:30.000 Which makes a lot of sense that he would start a podcast and then stop it.

00:50:33.000 Yeah.

00:50:33.000 You know what I mean?

00:50:34.000 A lot of things make sense now.

00:50:35.000 He was very intermittent.

00:50:36.000 Yeah, and he was going to go into another season, I know, of his show, I heard.

00:50:40.000 Right.

00:50:41.000 And they pulled a lot of that off of YouTube, unfortunately, because I believe it's now owned by Netflix.

00:50:46.000 Oh.

00:50:47.000 They'll probably do a special or something.

00:50:48.000 Yeah, it's just a shame.

00:50:51.000 Well, before any of that, I just want to show, this is my second favorite Norm joke of all time, beyond the one that we showed earlier.

00:50:56.000 And this one is very short, which shows the brilliance of Norm.

00:50:59.000 It can be a long, slow burn, or boom, catch you off guard.

00:51:02.000 That pattern disruption.

00:51:03.000 Here you go.

00:51:04.000 Well, a big seller this holiday season is Michael Bolton's Christmas album, This Is The Time.

00:51:09.000 Happy birthday, Jesus. 1.00

00:51:11.000 Hope you like crap. 0.99

00:51:16.000 What I loved about him on Weekend Update is he said when he wrote it, and you know, like he wrote with a few other people that were great, was he just said, just go for the joke. 0.99

00:51:26.000 I don't want to dance around it.

00:51:28.000 I don't want to, I just want to be as blunt as possible and put it out there.

00:51:31.000 Yeah.

00:51:33.000 And by the way, shout out to Jeremy Boring at the Daily Wire.

00:51:35.000 That's one of his favorite jokes too.

00:51:36.000 I remember him having lunch years ago talking about our favorite Norm Bitson.

00:51:39.000 Talk about his time on the view but speaking of his battle with with cancer It's sort of paints a new light or sheds I should say a new light on this joke that he told I believe it was in his very In his last special he had two specials in the last five years at Hitler's dog and me doing stand-up, right?

00:51:54.000 Hitler's dog was I think more recent and yeah me doing and they were both fantastic.

00:51:59.000 I believe this is Hitler's those two of the funniest specials ever Which is really hard to do when you've been doing stand-up for so long.

00:52:04.000 I think it was Don Henley who said with music, you know, anyone can write their freshman album.

00:52:09.000 You have your whole life to write it.

00:52:10.000 You have six months to write your sophomore.

00:52:15.000 And with stand-up, that's true.

00:52:16.000 A lot of people have an amazing special and then they don't have another one again.

00:52:19.000 That's when you have people like Bill Burr, Louis C.K., who are truly the greats.

00:52:23.000 And Norm Macdonald certainly were.

00:52:24.000 Look, there are some that are better, there are some that are worse, but they are all fantastic.

00:52:28.000 But this, I believe, I don't know the exact year, but certainly took place in the last nine years and shows you how indignant Norm was with the media and how he joked about the face of death that he was actively facing at the time he told it.

00:52:42.000 The reason I don't like it is because in the old days they'd go, hey, that old man died now.

00:52:47.000 They'd go, hey, he lost his battle.

00:52:53.000 That's no way to end your life, you know? 1.00

00:52:56.000 What a loser that guy was! 1.00

00:52:59.000 Last thing he did was lose! 0.99

00:53:05.000 He was waging a brave battle, but at the end, I guess he got kinda cowardly, was what happened.

00:53:11.000 And then, the bowel cancer, it got brave.

00:53:14.000 You gotta give it to the bowel cancer. 0.52

00:53:16.000 You know, they're in a battle. 0.97

00:53:18.000 And then, what the ****?

00:53:24.000 I'm pretty sure, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure if the cancer dies, I mean if you die, the cancer also dies at exactly the same time.

00:53:33.000 So that to me is not a loss, that's a draw.

00:53:40.000 What's so great about that bit is you know it offended people, and he had the card to go, well, I have cancer, but he never played it.

00:53:47.000 Just because he believed you could make fun of anything.

00:53:50.000 Exactly.

00:53:50.000 And he stood by it.

00:53:51.000 And I think that's what really bothers me right now about him dying is, you know, for example, when everyone used to show the Johnny Cash poster, right?

00:53:58.000 Of him doing this, right?

00:53:59.000 People go, oh yeah, I love Johnny Cash.

00:54:00.000 I go, no you don't!

00:54:02.000 Do you know, hey, do you know Johnny Cash said you're going to hell?

00:54:05.000 Johnny Cash sure may have been anti-war.

00:54:07.000 Johnny Cash was a rebel, absolutely.

00:54:09.000 But Johnny Cash said that if you rejected Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior, you are going to hell, period.

00:54:13.000 Do you know that?

00:54:14.000 Do you like that part about Johnny?

00:54:15.000 Well, I don't like that part.

00:54:16.000 In other words, Johnny Cash was rebelling against a culture, and sure, he rebelled against some things that maybe you agreed with when you look at things like Nixon and you understand some of his views on war, which are not, by the way, untenable as a Christian.

00:54:29.000 But what would be untenable as a Christian is to say, well, you know what, there is no hell and it's all good. 0.93

00:54:33.000 No, no, no.

00:54:33.000 He was very clear that your soul faced eternal damnation.

00:54:37.000 And people just go, I like Johnny Cash because he gave the middle finger.

00:54:39.000 You don't appreciate what he was.

00:54:41.000 Norm Macdonald was unapologetically Pro-free speech, defended at every turn, and also he unapologetically attacked laziness in comedy, particularly had a sore spot when you do the research for the sort of edgy atheist wave of comedy.

00:54:58.000 Yeah, he really did, which was, especially at that time, On NBC to take that sort of a stance, too, which I know we'll probably get into later with that clip.

00:55:06.000 Yeah, we have that coming up right here.

00:55:07.000 He really did, though.

00:55:08.000 He really stood against it, which was not easy to do.

00:55:10.000 And people began to, like you said, that people did begin to turn on him in the last few years.

00:55:15.000 And that's what I just find to be disgraceful, because it was always about being funny.

00:55:21.000 Yeah, it was always about being funny, and I want to hear your favorite Norm jokes and how much you really knew about Norm.

00:55:25.000 And one of my favorite quotes is actually said about Ricky Gervais when he was being interviewed about his book.

00:55:30.000 And he said, you know, the thing is, there are only really a few people who are, you know, like true stand-up comedians, you know, where they really identify with stand-up.

00:55:37.000 You know, like people, you have people like Louis C.K.

00:55:41.000 and people like George Wallace, you know, and I'm not nearly as highly regarded as those people.

00:55:45.000 He absolutely was.

00:55:46.000 Yes.

00:55:46.000 But he said, but you know, then you have people like Ricky Gervais where people say, he has these three specials, have you seen Ricky Gervais?

00:55:52.000 His comedy?

00:55:53.000 Well, he's only done it three times!

00:55:56.000 You know?

00:55:56.000 And, oh, oh, we get, oh, okay, the atheist thing there, that's new.

00:56:04.000 Then he said, but of course Ricky Gervais is very funny, The Office is an unbelievable piece of work, it's fantastic, but is that a stand-up?

00:56:11.000 This was something he would take on all the time.

00:56:14.000 Yeah.

00:56:14.000 But let's go back, because a lot of people don't remember this.

00:56:17.000 You may know that he got kicked off of Weekend Update for making OJ and Michael Jackson jokes.

00:56:21.000 The reason that these jokes were the last straw is, yes, because the head of NBC at that time was Friends.

00:56:28.000 Yes.

00:56:28.000 Right?

00:56:28.000 Again, the elites with OJ.

00:56:30.000 But also, they were concerned about the fact that he was going after Michael Jackson so aggressively and OJ, and it being seen as potentially racist.

00:56:38.000 So again, that's the context you need to understand back then.

00:56:41.000 That a lot of people now don't remember.

00:56:45.000 Because now you're looking at it going, well why would he get in trouble, OJ and Michael, like we all know.

00:56:50.000 No, no, no.

00:56:50.000 Back then there was still a huge contingency of Americans who said going after them was a byproduct of white nationalism.

00:56:56.000 So actually... Yeah, that was during the trial too.

00:57:01.000 When he was on Weekend Update making those jokes, and it's like, don't talk about OJ, he's my friend.

00:57:06.000 Boy, did he lean into it until he lost his job.

00:57:08.000 I love that.

00:57:09.000 And it was right after Rodney King, and it was the Mark Furman-Edward thing where they were trying to turn this all into a racial issue, and NBC wanted to avoid it.

00:57:17.000 And so, here, knowing that context, is a montage during this time of a racial powder keg.

00:57:23.000 Seems like we've had those a lot.

00:57:24.000 Norm McDonnell leaning into it.

00:57:27.000 And the Pope came out with a book this week, which contains a series of essays examining faith and morality in today's secular world and the changing role of the Catholic Church as it approaches the 21st century.

00:57:38.000 The book is entitled, God Himself Told Me That O.J.

00:57:41.000 Is Guilty.

00:57:43.000 In his book, O.J.

00:57:45.000 Simpson says that he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for Nicole.

00:57:50.000 Man, I'm going to tell you, that is some bad luck when the one guy who would have died for you kills you.

00:57:58.000 Judge Ito was interviewed this week by a local TV station in Los Angeles. 0.99

00:58:03.000 Asked by the interviewer if it was appropriate for a supposedly impartial judge to be on TV with his case still pending, Ito said, maybe not, but how appropriate is it to kill your ex-wife? 0.54

00:58:18.000 He'd already been told, don't touch it. 0.65

00:58:20.000 The racial vague in my head.

00:58:21.000 It was revealed today that O.J.

00:58:24.000 Simpson told police that Nicole Brown Simpson used to beat him up.

00:58:28.000 He also claimed that she and Ron Goldman killed him.

00:58:31.000 OJ Simpson's lawyers have decided to skip hearings on DNA evidence and go right to trial.

00:58:42.000 Asked why they did this, the lawyers replied, we want to get OJ acquitted as speedily as possible so he can get back to doing what he does best, killing people.

00:58:53.000 You know it's coming and it's still funny.

00:58:55.000 Let's get to OJ. OJ Simpson's lawyers say they don't want the families of Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman in the

00:59:01.000 courtroom during the trial.

00:59:03.000 They're afraid the presence of the family members will just remind OJ of how much more killing he still has to do.

00:59:10.000 What I love about Norm on Update was that he's not even doing that well with the audience.

00:59:17.000 And at the time when I was young I was laughing so hard I never noticed until I was a comic.

00:59:22.000 And the other joke I love that he did was he said Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson are getting a divorce.

00:59:28.000 She wishes he was more of a homebody and he wishes she was a seven-year-old boy.

00:59:34.000 I remember he said the closest thing he ever had to a perfect joke, and he used it twice.

00:59:39.000 He used it with Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel.

00:59:42.000 But he said the most perfect version was Julia Roberts.

00:59:44.000 Was she married to Lyle Lovett?

00:59:45.000 Lyle Lovett, yeah.

00:59:46.000 And he said, probably the most perfect joke, you know, is that I've been trying to search for my... and he really was serious, trying to search for the perfect joke his whole life.

00:59:53.000 The closest I've come is where, you know, the punchline was the same as the setup, where I said, uh, uh, Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett have filed for divorce today, citing the reason that they realized she was Julia Roberts and he was Lyle Lovett.

01:00:10.000 And what he said was probably the best joke he'd ever written.

01:00:14.000 This is at least a few years ago.

01:00:16.000 I just love the bravery, right?

01:00:18.000 So his career was on the line.

01:00:19.000 He's being told not to do these things.

01:00:20.000 He'd probably be labeled a racist, you know, like you said.

01:00:23.000 That was the trend that they were heading into.

01:00:25.000 And he just came out and was just like, I'm absolutely going to double down.

01:00:29.000 And it definitely hurt him because he didn't do as many movies as his other co-stars did from SNL.

01:00:35.000 And it's a tragedy because I loved him as the lead in Dirty Work.

01:00:39.000 He was great in that.

01:00:40.000 Dirty Work is underrated.

01:00:41.000 I love it.

01:00:42.000 I love Dirty Work.

01:00:43.000 Dirty Work's original script though, the R-rated version, that you can get online is like the funniest thing I've ever read.

01:00:49.000 So just imagine how funny the PG-13 is.

01:00:52.000 But Norm being able to do anything he wants. 0.93

01:00:54.000 Like him in prison after they, you know, rape him. 0.99

01:00:58.000 You should be ashamed. 0.99

01:00:59.000 You know what hurts the most?

01:01:01.000 It's the lack of respect. 1.00

01:01:02.000 Well, actually, the anal sex hurts the most. 0.99

01:01:08.000 Second most. 0.99

01:01:09.000 It's funny about those two.

01:01:11.000 I'll tell you this scene.

01:01:11.000 If you haven't seen Dirty Work, because we can't show it.

01:01:13.000 We haven't seen Dirty Work.

01:01:14.000 Yeah, he's sitting there.

01:01:14.000 He's pulling up his pants.

01:01:15.000 He's just been raped in prison. 0.99

01:01:17.000 Hurts the most, yeah, is a lack of respect. 0.98

01:01:19.000 Well, except for the other thing.

01:01:20.000 That hurts the most.

01:01:21.000 But what hurts a second the most is a lack of respect.

01:01:24.000 You boys have a lot of growing up to do, I'll tell you that right now. 0.99

01:01:27.000 Ridiculous! He walks off. Ridiculous! 0.99

01:01:36.000 I love that movie! 0.85

01:01:41.000 One of my favorite lines in any movie is just, I have to go lift weights.

01:01:45.000 What?

01:01:47.000 What?

01:01:48.000 And I love one of my favorite things in Dirty Work too is the prank that he pulled in Dirty Work.

01:01:52.000 So there are these frat boys who beat them up in Dirty Work.

01:01:56.000 And so there's a scene where what they do is they go into the frat house dressed as cops.

01:02:03.000 Yeah.

01:02:04.000 But they basically tip their hand that they're not real cops, like, uh, hi, yes, we've been getting noise complaints.

01:02:11.000 I don't remember exactly what it was.

01:02:12.000 And the guys go...

01:02:14.000 Oh, okay, we see what's going on here.

01:02:16.000 You know, these are fake cops.

01:02:17.000 They kicked them out.

01:02:18.000 And then Norm calls them on a payphone.

01:02:20.000 And he goes, hey, yeah, just so you know, this is your buddy, Chad.

01:02:25.000 He's like, Chad, why are you not at the party?

01:02:26.000 He goes, yeah, I'm just letting you know, there are people going around dressed as fake cops, but they're not real.

01:02:31.000 They're actually, and they're going to come to you and say it's a noise complaint.

01:02:33.000 They're going to try and rip off your stuff.

01:02:35.000 He's like, oh man, thanks for letting us know.

01:02:37.000 Okay, you guys go back to doing something completely homoerotic. 0.96

01:02:43.000 Hello, real cops? 1.00

01:02:47.000 He calls the cops to the house, and these guys beat their ass and they all go to prison. 0.99

01:02:52.000 And that's what starts his revenge. 0.97

01:02:54.000 You know exactly the next 5-10 minutes of the movie, the scene is, Hello, real cops?

01:03:00.000 And I love that he fed, however you want to call him, Chevy Chase, a lot of the lines that he actually felt like his gambling addiction went through him because he was the doctor that couldn't stop betting.

01:03:11.000 It's like, are you a betting man?

01:03:12.000 But he's like, you know, when a bookie shoots off your toe, you still have to pay him.

01:03:16.000 Does that make sense?

01:03:17.000 Does that make sense?

01:03:19.000 I don't know.

01:03:21.000 So is my dad going to live?

01:03:22.000 Actually, Chevy Chase is a funny actor.

01:03:23.000 Is my dad going to live?

01:03:25.000 No, no, no.

01:03:31.000 Very focused on himself.

01:03:32.000 But here's the bill.

01:03:34.000 And of course him and Farley.

01:03:35.000 Somebody put up a picture of him and Farley yesterday and I forgot like that's just such a great image of two people that are gone way too soon.

01:03:42.000 Oh yeah. 0.99

01:03:43.000 I love is a Saigon whore. 0.99

01:03:47.000 Yeah, and I had a rough days at a bar. 1.00

01:03:50.000 But at least my nose wasn't bitten off by a Saigon whore. 1.00

01:03:54.000 And then it just shows Chris Farley at the bar, and he turns around with the worst makeup ever, and his nose is in half. 1.00

01:03:59.000 YOU BASTARD! 1.00

01:04:02.000 I'm just joking with you. 1.00

01:04:03.000 The next drink's on me.

01:04:06.000 G8, Street Fightin' Man.

01:04:08.000 You hit G7.

01:04:09.000 I like piña coladas.

01:04:11.000 Oh, sorry.

01:04:14.000 Underrated film, man, underrated. 1.00

01:04:16.000 That's the Saigon whore that bit my nose off! 1.00

01:04:19.000 Remember later he's going to this, he's like, hey, we have to leave in the car to marry the Saigon whore, and he's like, blah, blah, blah! 1.00

01:04:26.000 Why don't you shut your pie hole, Yoko? 1.00

01:04:32.000 Sometimes the hen's gotta know who the rooster is. 1.00

01:04:35.000 The Saigon whore bit my new nose off. 1.00

01:04:41.000 This is probably not good for my throat, but I don't have COVID! 0.99

01:04:43.000 Sinus infection.

01:04:43.000 I just, yeah, that movie is, it's just written for comedy.

01:04:47.000 It's like a back-of-the-room funny, but also, yeah, it's arguably the funniest movie ever.

01:04:52.000 Yeah, and it's like, there are cringe moments where you, because it tries so much, that not everything lands, but it's young Artie Lang and Norm Macdonald, Jack Warden, I forget the name, Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore, Chevy Chase, Well, Norm discovered Artie.

01:05:07.000 He brought him on, I mean, I shouldn't say discovered, but got him to that next level.

01:05:12.000 He was on Mad TV and then he brought him on Stern.

01:05:14.000 Yeah.

01:05:14.000 Because he had a lot of great stories.

01:05:15.000 So Norm was kind of responsible for Artie's career.

01:05:18.000 Okay, so there's so much to get to.

01:05:20.000 I could talk about Norm for hours and hours.

01:05:23.000 So you were talking about how dangerous that was, you know, the Weekend Update stuff.

01:05:26.000 He was banned from The View.

01:05:28.000 A lot of people know this.

01:05:29.000 He was banned from The View, and I talked about this back in my Grand Rapids studio.

01:05:32.000 These clips were not available for a very long time.

01:05:34.000 They were hard to find.

01:05:35.000 They were hard to find.

01:05:36.000 The first time we tried to pull these clips, they were gone.

01:05:38.000 So we'll show you, sort of in ascending order, him kind of trolling The View a little bit.

01:05:42.000 Yeah.

01:05:43.000 Just, you know, basically saying racially tinged things with Star Jones.

01:05:47.000 To outright, basically, when people talk about this now, the Clinton body count.

01:05:51.000 Yeah.

01:05:52.000 Bring the Clinton murder conspiracy to The View live on air.

01:05:56.000 That's why he was banned.

01:05:58.000 So, it's a longer clip, but you need to see this progression.

01:06:00.000 He was not allowed on The View for decades.

01:06:03.000 It was okay.

01:06:04.000 What'd you think?

01:06:05.000 Well, I tell ya, I did love the pod race.

01:06:07.000 That's the best part.

01:06:08.000 Star Wars.

01:06:08.000 There's this race in the middle of it.

01:06:10.000 I'm a big Star Wars fan because... Billie Dee Williams, I think.

01:06:15.000 I think you'll like that.

01:06:17.000 Yes, with my man Harrison Ford playing Han Solo.

01:06:20.000 Now that was Star Wars.

01:06:23.000 She's so offensive. 1.00

01:06:25.000 That was so funny.

01:06:27.000 I love George Bush, man.

01:06:28.000 He's a good man.

01:06:29.000 Decent.

01:06:30.000 You know, none of the...

01:06:34.000 Yeah, he's, you know, he's not a liar or a crook murderer or anything like that, so it'd be good to get the... See, I don't... I think we should get the homicide out of the White House.

01:06:46.000 A fresh start, because we don't want any more murderers.

01:06:48.000 I think we should just go on to the next question.

01:06:51.000 Who are the murderers?

01:06:53.000 Oh, Clinton, he murdered a guy.

01:06:57.000 This is not my week, what can I tell you?

01:07:06.000 Oh, it's not mine either, and I'm being very nice, okay?

01:07:09.000 I'm being a good boy.

01:07:12.000 Now, Norm?

01:07:13.000 Do you ever hear that?

01:07:15.000 I don't want to get into this, and I don't want to hear it, and this is not the place to make those accusations, and you're supposed to be funny!

01:07:21.000 That was hilarious!

01:07:24.000 There you go!

01:07:26.000 This is a live show!

01:07:27.000 Wow!

01:07:28.000 But you have been properly chastised by Barbara, so I'm not going to ask the next question.

01:07:33.000 I thought it was a matter of record!

01:07:35.000 Show!

01:07:36.000 Nobody just keeps going.

01:07:37.000 I'm gonna get him off!

01:07:39.000 Well, they keep trying to overpower him in the end.

01:07:41.000 He's too funny.

01:07:46.000 Next stop, football!

01:07:48.000 All right, manslaughter!

01:07:50.000 And by the way, the brilliance, here's the brilliance of that last line, manslaughter, okay?

01:07:59.000 There was no conspiracy or accusation of an accidental death.

01:08:03.000 No.

01:08:03.000 So in other words, when he says, all right, manslaughter, as though he's being conciliatory there, No, he's drawing attention to the fact that this obviously could only have been premeditated murder.

01:08:14.000 And this is back, George W. Bush had just won.

01:08:18.000 So this would have been, you know, 2000, maybe 2001.

01:08:20.000 Yeah, really early.

01:08:21.000 And no one was talking about it.

01:08:23.000 And I just remember watching it.

01:08:24.000 I must have been homesick that day.

01:08:25.000 I watched it live.

01:08:27.000 And I remember going, at this point there was no YouTube, and I'm like, oh my god.

01:08:31.000 Where am I ever going to see this again?

01:08:32.000 It's just so funny because they keep going like, he lets them get far enough down the road where they think they're safe and on to the next topic and then he's just like, I thought this was a matter of record.

01:08:44.000 And you can tell, though, that they're frustrated with him, and he's never frustrated with them.

01:08:48.000 That's the difference.

01:08:49.000 He just knows that he... He doesn't dislike them.

01:08:51.000 He's just trying to be funny and, you know, honest.

01:08:55.000 Well, and to be fair, he's not always a bad... Like, there's also, when you're a guest, you'd want to be cordial, but they weren't mad that he was being a bad guest.

01:09:03.000 They were mad that he was bringing up a topic that that was a source.

01:09:06.000 Well, yeah, that he went right to it, and they had to take, you know, the other stand.

01:09:10.000 They just had to say, don't talk about that.

01:09:11.000 And think about, he had met the Clintons and the connection with SNL and NBC, SNL and the Clintons is huge.

01:09:18.000 Oh, of course, absolutely.

01:09:20.000 And we've done a whole segment on that.

01:09:21.000 It's pretty much every network, every single major network in their heads.

01:09:25.000 If you go to ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, you go from the CEO or network president, just down through vice presidents, you will find someone directly who worked in a Clinton campaign or Barack Obama, either a speechwriter, advisor, we've done a whole segment on it.

01:09:39.000 You guys can run a search.

01:09:40.000 Kate McKinnon playing the piano playing hallelujah as Hillary Clinton when she lost what I mean that's just showing your hand yeah I know that was really something she's brave though so uh this is something by the way just so I want you to know um You know, Norm Macdonald had a big impact on me.

01:10:00.000 And then we'll get to, obviously, a big impact on Dave.

01:10:05.000 So I was fortunate that my mother, who works for this company now, was an award-winning wardrobe stylist, costume designer.

01:10:15.000 Uh, up in Montreal, for the Montreal Comedy Festival, just for laughs.

01:10:19.000 And for people who don't know, that's... I don't know, now there are other ones, but certainly for a time, it was the biggest comedy event of the year.

01:10:26.000 I still think it qualifies.

01:10:28.000 But back then, if you made it there, it was considered like you'd made it.

01:10:30.000 It wasn't like the Tonight Show, but it was the closest thing that wasn't necessarily televised.

01:10:34.000 Yeah, it was, yeah, it used to be, that's what broke you, and now...

01:10:37.000 Nothing really matters.

01:10:38.000 Right, nothing really matters.

01:10:40.000 It's what can you do by yourself, you know?

01:10:41.000 Pretty much.

01:10:42.000 Your own audience.

01:10:43.000 And this is mirrored in sports.

01:10:45.000 It's not necessarily how good you are, like certainly in combat sports, Jake Paul is demanding more money than UFC middleweight champion.

01:10:51.000 Yeah.

01:10:52.000 So it's changed, but back then you used to have to go through the Just for Laughs, and so my mom would do the wardrobe and costumes, and so one year she could be having, I've talked about this, could be Jerry Seinfeld, could be John John Candy, I remember they had a real panic because John Candy was doing a sketch where he sang the Barney song, and this was when Barney was pretty new, and they blew him up.

01:11:09.000 But they got a letter from the Barney people at PBS, so they had to change it enough.

01:11:15.000 So it wasn't like a purple Barney, it was more of a mauve And I remember my mom having to go out and basically refabric this Barney outfit.

01:11:25.000 So I just remember all these things as a kid being backstage, and I was allowed to be either backstage or as a seat filler.

01:11:31.000 And what happens is these executives will get really expensive seats, and they often don't show up.

01:11:34.000 And so if the show starts and the seats are empty, this is televised in Canada, so they'll send in people to fill in two empty seats there, three empty seats there, and there are very few empty seats, but it's just you don't want any empty seats in those first few rows.

01:11:45.000 So I got to watch the set that got Ray Romano his show, that got Kevin James his show.

01:11:49.000 I remember seeing Jeff Dunham when no one knew who he was when I was a little kid.

01:11:52.000 And this, I believe, happened, the claim is it was 1991 online, but I think he either retold it or they're wrong and it was 92 or 93 because I know I was there both of those years and watching from the crowd.

01:12:06.000 And I remember hearing Norm Macdonald tell this joke, this is not political at all, but I remember as a kid, Having really only been allowed to listen to Bill Cosby and, like, Jerry Seinfeld, not that much at this point.

01:12:15.000 Keep in mind I was five.

01:12:16.000 Yeah.

01:12:17.000 My parents may not have been super familiar with Norm's stand-up, because back then they knew him as the Weekend Update guy, but maybe didn't know a whole bunch about his stand-up.

01:12:24.000 So I watched his set live, and he had a joke about a man killing his family because the devil told him to.

01:12:29.000 And it was the first joke that I had heard with the structure that was totally different, and immediately he became One of, if not my favorite, comedians.

01:12:39.000 So, I was watching this live, little Steven Crowder, in 92 or 93.

01:12:45.000 Norm Macdonald, tell this joke, clip K. Man, there's crazy guys everywhere.

01:12:49.000 I was reading about this guy in the paper, get this folks, guy I was reading about, he killed his whole family because the devil told him to.

01:12:55.000 Can you believe that? 0.99

01:12:57.000 What a dork, huh? 1.00

01:13:00.000 That was the headline in the paper, it said, what a dork! 1.00

01:13:04.000 Imagine that, you kill your whole family just because the devil tells you. 1.00

01:13:07.000 Then afterwards, you go back to the devil and go, yes, devil, I did as you instructed. 1.00

01:13:10.000 I killed my family, slaughtered them as they lay sleeping, and then I chopped them up and put them in a duffel bag. 0.99

01:13:15.000 Here they are in a duffel bag. 0.99

01:13:17.000 I'll be burying them tonight at the shallow grave by the side of the railroad track, as you have commanded.

01:13:21.000 Oh, Lord, host of the hoary netherworld.

01:13:24.000 And then the devil pulls off a mask.

01:13:27.000 It's me, Bob!

01:13:29.000 Laughter Applause

01:13:33.000 Laughter You go, Hi Bob!

01:13:37.000 He's a guy, me Bob!

01:13:40.000 You got me there!

01:13:44.000 Is my face red or what here?

01:13:45.000 I got my family in a duffel bag over here.

01:13:50.000 That's one for you there, Bobby.

01:13:57.000 That reminds me of one of my favorites, when he's talking about shallow gray.

01:14:02.000 Yeah, serial killers.

01:14:03.000 Yeah, serial killers, where it's like, you spend all this time stalking somebody, plotting their murder, eventually finding them, killing them, cutting them up, then you get to the burial part and you're like, ah, just throw some twigs and leaves.

01:14:13.000 Twigs and leaves.

01:14:14.000 Move on.

01:14:15.000 It's funny, when you watch Norm's specials, you can see, though, a personal fascination with things like shallow graves.

01:14:20.000 It's a recurring theme.

01:14:22.000 And probably something that scared him.

01:14:24.000 Well, yeah, there is a darkness to it.

01:14:26.000 It's what we've talked about on the show, where you make a dark joke and people are like, why?

01:14:29.000 I don't know if I like that.

01:14:30.000 It's like, well, that's why.

01:14:31.000 It's because it is something that's dark that you're trying to shine some light on or even work out in your own head.

01:14:36.000 Yeah.

01:14:36.000 Well, he has a joke in that special about if he were a rapist serial killer, how he would capture the woman.

01:14:42.000 Yes. 0.95

01:14:42.000 And it's hysterical. 0.95

01:14:44.000 These people, like, they always get caught, you know. 0.55

01:14:46.000 For me, if I were trying to, you know, Kidnap and kill a woman, I'd be really coy about it, you know? 1.00

01:14:51.000 For example, I would study her habits, and I don't want to butcher this, but I would study her habits, you know? 0.57

01:14:55.000 So maybe I would notice that every day she goes to the same sandwich shop, you know, and gets these cheese sandwiches.

01:15:02.000 Write that down, you know?

01:15:03.000 And then after a while of learning her habits and her schedule, maybe she'd go to a grocery

01:15:07.000 store and I would pull up in my van and what would I happen to have?

01:15:13.000 A cheese sandwich.

01:15:16.000 And I would wait for her to walk out of the grocery store, you know, and she'd walk out 1.00

01:15:19.000 and I would say, hey, what do you got there?

01:15:24.000 What do you got groceries?

01:15:25.000 She would say, yeah, what's that in your hand?

01:15:27.000 I'd say, oh, this?

01:15:29.000 Nothing.

01:15:31.000 It looks like a cheese sandwich over there.

01:15:32.000 I play it really cool and go, uh, no, that's no cheese sandwich over there.

01:15:35.000 I don't, uh, it looks like you're holding a cheese sandwich.

01:15:39.000 I would say, uh, lady, I'd probably know what's in my own hand.

01:15:41.000 I would know if there's a cheese sandwich in there.

01:15:44.000 Oh! 0.60

01:15:44.000 Oh, this! 0.60

01:15:45.000 Oh, yeah, it is a cheese sandwich.

01:15:47.000 What, do you like them or something?

01:15:49.000 Cheese sandwiches?

01:15:50.000 I got a van full of cheese sandwiches. 1.00

01:15:52.000 Abducting and killing. How he would do it. 1.00

01:15:58.000 He also has a great bit about how shame, the shame of sex, where he's like, people put on leather and he's like, they want to make it more shameful than it already is.

01:16:06.000 He's like, you're already closing the blinds.

01:16:08.000 It's not because you're doing something good in there.

01:16:12.000 He's like, and then you finish and you're like, I'm just going to take off these leather trousers.

01:16:18.000 Something people don't know about you?

01:16:22.000 He got to roll clip J where he confused Larry King.

01:16:25.000 And it's not that hard to confuse Larry King, let's be honest.

01:16:28.000 He was friends with him though.

01:16:30.000 Him and Larry King actually had a pretty funny dynamic.

01:16:33.000 Larry King had zero sense of humor, that's why it was funny.

01:16:35.000 A serious confusing Larry King about his sexual orientation.

01:16:39.000 Something people don't know about you. 0.94

01:16:41.000 I'm a deeply closeted gay guy.

01:16:45.000 I'm not coming out though.

01:16:48.000 Wait a minute.

01:16:50.000 What are you revealing here today?

01:16:51.000 I'm not revealing anything.

01:16:53.000 I'm saying I'm deeply closeted. 0.99

01:16:55.000 That means you're gay. 1.00

01:16:58.000 Well, I wouldn't say that. 0.78

01:17:00.000 Why would I say that?

01:17:01.000 I'm deeply closeted. 0.99

01:17:04.000 That means you're very, very gay, but you don't want to come out. 1.00

01:17:08.000 You're so closeted... That I refuse to say I'm gay. 0.99

01:17:11.000 Right. 0.96

01:17:12.000 Exactly.

01:17:15.000 Doesn't that mean you're gay? 0.95

01:17:16.000 Hey, hey, hey! 0.99

01:17:17.000 Easy, buddy!

01:17:18.000 Hey, hey, hey! 0.55

01:17:23.000 Oh, he was the best with people who had no sense of humor.

01:17:26.000 That's when he shines.

01:17:27.000 So funny.

01:17:29.000 Thanks for explaining it, Larry. 0.98

01:17:31.000 So, what you're saying is... That means you're closeted and means you're secretly gay. 0.99

01:17:36.000 My favorite Larry King dumbass moment was with Jerry Seinfeld on his show. 0.99

01:17:40.000 And he's in and he goes, So, Jerry... 0.91

01:17:44.000 So, Jerry Seinfeld, number one show of all time, to be clear, wasn't cancelled.

01:17:52.000 Jerry Seinfeld goes, cancelled?

01:17:54.000 What?

01:17:56.000 Number one show of all time?

01:17:57.000 Larry, can someone get Larry a resume?

01:18:00.000 Does Larry know who I am?

01:18:01.000 It's you from Brooklyn.

01:18:05.000 Next question.

01:18:06.000 He just doesn't know how to deal with it.

01:18:08.000 And this is where we get into the part of the portrait that the media will never paint.

01:18:12.000 I would say the funniest man who's ever lived.

01:18:14.000 Certainly, you could argue it.

01:18:16.000 I would agree.

01:18:17.000 Yeah, and like I said, there's objectively funny.

01:18:19.000 You could put at the top, you know, people like the Richard Pryors, the Mount Rush, if you're having a Mount Rushmore, the George Carlins.

01:18:25.000 No one would argue with you if you're just saying, I think Norm Macdonald should be up there.

01:18:29.000 People may disagree, but they won't be like, oh, that's just so out of line.

01:18:32.000 Yeah.

01:18:32.000 It's true standup, though.

01:18:34.000 Right.

01:18:34.000 It's all comedy.

01:18:35.000 It's all comedy.

01:18:37.000 But he personally was, Really pretty conservative, and later in life, a devout Christian, and his faith meant a lot to him.

01:18:44.000 And this is someone who struggled.

01:18:45.000 He struggled with, I think it's well-known, gambling.

01:18:47.000 He struggled.

01:18:47.000 He talked about struggling with issues, addiction issues.

01:18:49.000 And I don't necessarily mean substance addiction issues.

01:18:52.000 And he spoke about... He lost his fortune twice.

01:18:54.000 Yeah.

01:18:54.000 Yeah, and he's spoken about that.

01:18:55.000 And he would actually take unpopular stances to speak out.

01:18:59.000 Yeah, see, that was a throat burp.

01:19:01.000 I heard that.

01:19:01.000 Yeah, that was audible.

01:19:04.000 And now I have a sore throat.

01:19:05.000 That's terrible! 1.00

01:19:05.000 Damn you, Lamb Vindaloo! 1.00

01:19:07.000 It was your own fault! 1.00

01:19:09.000 It was your own fault!

01:19:11.000 It was his fault for saying maximum spice.

01:19:13.000 Bring the heat.

01:19:15.000 You deserve it.

01:19:17.000 When I'm sick, I love spicy food. It just helps clear it up.

01:19:19.000 Yeah, it does. 1.00

01:19:22.000 I still have an asshole. 1.00

01:19:23.000 Okay, good. 1.00

01:19:23.000 It's still there. 1.00

01:19:25.000 It's dangling. 1.00

01:19:27.000 Remember to check your asshole there, make sure you still got one. 1.00

01:19:31.000 Get it in there. 0.99

01:19:33.000 So, he was a very devout, conflicted Christian, and actually I'll talk about how, you'll see later, one of these guys who we criticized in the last Comic Standing, I had on the show. 0.99

01:19:44.000 Seven or eight years ago, Harrison Greenbaum, a gay comedian who Norm didn't really like, unless comic standing, but here he is taking opportunities to express his faith, and it pissed a lot of people off, not to mention if you actually read his writings. 0.87

01:19:58.000 You get a lot of attention on Twittersphere for being open about your religious views.

01:20:02.000 What are they?

01:20:04.000 I'm a Christian.

01:20:05.000 It's not stylish to say now.

01:20:07.000 No, are you devout?

01:20:09.000 Yeah.

01:20:09.000 You believe in the Lord?

01:20:10.000 Yes, I do.

01:20:11.000 You think you're going somewhere when it ends?

01:20:14.000 Well, I don't believe it, but what people don't understand about faith is that you have to choose it.

01:20:24.000 You know what I mean?

01:20:24.000 They think that you believe it, but you have to choose it.

01:20:27.000 I'm a New Yorker.

01:20:29.000 Yeah, New York?

01:20:30.000 Nice.

01:20:33.000 I actually got into an argument on the subway, and the guy quoted the Bible at me.

01:20:37.000 That is not fair.

01:20:38.000 Like, if you get to quote from your favorite book, I should be able to quote from my favorite book, right?

01:20:43.000 He was like, men do not live on bread alone, Matthews 4.4.

01:20:46.000 And I was like, everybody's a little bit magic, Harry Potter, Chapter 7.

01:20:48.000 And you're real brave. 0.85

01:20:54.000 I mean, the stuff you're talking about, Bible jokes, that's some brave s***.

01:20:58.000 Thank you.

01:20:59.000 I disagree.

01:21:00.000 I don't think the Bible joke is brave at all. 1.00

01:21:02.000 I think if you're going to take on an entire religion, you should maybe know what you're talking about.

01:21:09.000 J.K.

01:21:10.000 Rowling is a Christian, and J.K.

01:21:12.000 Rowling famously said that if you're familiar with the scriptures, you could easily guess the ending of her book.

01:21:23.000 I don't like it.

01:21:25.000 I just want to go to sleep when I'm old and have a nice dream or something.

01:21:32.000 Where are you going to go? 0.99

01:21:33.000 To die. 0.99

01:21:34.000 To go with the Lord.

01:21:37.000 You believe in the Lord?

01:21:40.000 I do.

01:21:41.000 You do?

01:21:42.000 Are you religious?

01:21:43.000 I believe in God.

01:21:44.000 I do too.

01:21:45.000 That's as far as I go.

01:21:46.000 Yeah, me too. 1.00

01:21:48.000 And I don't need your buddy Bill Maher telling me I'm an idiot. 0.99

01:21:52.000 People like, they gave you that guy idea. 1.00

01:21:55.000 The old guy.

01:21:56.000 Sure.

01:21:57.000 Well, how would we know his nature?

01:21:59.000 But when I look into your eyes though...

01:22:04.000 I'm not joking.

01:22:05.000 It's just I've never had a talk show host say that to me.

01:22:08.000 When I look in your eyes, I see... And I've done hundreds of talk shows.

01:22:12.000 I see an eternal being.

01:22:15.000 I've never got the answer to the one question, which is why?

01:22:18.000 Why Connecticut children?

01:22:20.000 Why?

01:22:22.000 Why a bomber in Boston?

01:22:24.000 Because if there is a God, He's omnipotent.

01:22:27.000 If He's omnipotent, He could prevent it.

01:22:29.000 Why didn't He prevent it?

01:22:32.000 I don't know, man, but you gotta stop hanging out in that hot tub with Bill Maher all the time.

01:22:36.000 Sounds like you got a God-shaped hole in your heart. 0.99

01:22:41.000 What the hell are you talking about? 0.98

01:22:43.000 And that just shows someone who doesn't know what he's talking about there. 0.98

01:22:47.000 This is God-shaped toilet. 0.73

01:22:48.000 You've heard me use that term before.

01:22:49.000 No.

01:22:50.000 It's kind of ubiquitous, and Larry King just... I can't believe it.

01:22:54.000 Was Seinfeld cancelled?

01:22:56.000 I mean, honestly, it's a good question to ask, but it's not that deep of a question, either.

01:23:02.000 We have so many Norm clips.

01:23:03.000 Should we just do this right now?

01:23:05.000 Keep going on YouTube?

01:23:07.000 Because I almost feel like it would be disrespectful to go to a mug club. 0.99

01:23:10.000 I think so.

01:23:10.000 I say keep going for a minute.

01:23:12.000 Okay.

01:23:12.000 Yeah.

01:23:12.000 It'll just be a little bit of a longer show.

01:23:14.000 Maybe we won't have time for the crush game.

01:23:17.000 Okay.

01:23:17.000 We'll do that tomorrow.

01:23:18.000 It's not every day Norm Macdonald dies.

01:23:20.000 Right.

01:23:21.000 Well, that was yesterday.

01:23:21.000 And you know what?

01:23:22.000 Do me a favor.

01:23:23.000 The best thing you can do is comment for the algorithm.

01:23:26.000 Pause it and comment, and we'll review these comments to see if you think it was the right call for us to continue.

01:23:31.000 Because I know it's long.

01:23:33.000 I just think there's a lot about Norm Macdonald that you've missed, and I want to give him the respect that he deserves.

01:23:38.000 Also, Smash that like button if you can, because that also helps.

01:23:44.000 You know, smash it for Norm.

01:23:46.000 Well, get yourself one of these nice mugs here. 0.71

01:23:49.000 No, let's not use his death to sell mugs.

01:23:51.000 We'll use it to get light.

01:23:52.000 Norm! 0.78

01:23:52.000 I'm not saying that. 0.78

01:23:53.000 I'm just saying that normally we would go to something that's behind the scenes now.

01:23:56.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:23:58.000 Do we have the montage too?

01:23:59.000 Because I realized I wanted to hit this.

01:24:00.000 Not montage, the bit that Dave said was a big influence where he talks about Alcoholics Anonymous.

01:24:07.000 It's one of my favorite, it might be my favorite Norm bit ever.

01:24:10.000 And let people know too, that's because you've... I mean, well I can't say what I'm in, but I think we know.

01:24:15.000 You're in a multi-step program.

01:24:17.000 I'm in recovery, and one of my favorite things that he ever said about gambling was, yeah it's a disease, but it's the only disease where you win money.

01:24:26.000 By the way, have you watched Loudermilk on Amazon?

01:24:28.000 I have.

01:24:28.000 It's great.

01:24:29.000 It's great.

01:24:29.000 Yeah, it's really good.

01:24:30.000 Will Sasso, especially.

01:24:32.000 I know.

01:24:32.000 Yeah, he's fantastic.

01:24:33.000 And I think Ron Livingston is great.

01:24:34.000 Oh, yeah, he's always good.

01:24:35.000 But Will Sasso, I just think, has that character that brings it to this next level.

01:24:39.000 It is.

01:24:39.000 For people who don't know, it's a show.

01:24:41.000 And by the way, guarantee you it has a... yeah, Regan deserves the Emmy. 1.00

01:24:44.000 Yeah.

01:24:45.000 Has a conservative writer on there, a conservative creator.

01:24:48.000 And it's balanced.

01:24:49.000 It makes fun of Trump a couple times, but it also makes fun of the LGBTQ, AIP, gender pronouns, political correctness.

01:24:54.000 It's one of those shows that is as balanced and an equal opportunity offender that I can possibly think of.

01:24:59.000 And so it seems appropriate, while talking about Norm, to mention that show Louder Milk on Amazon, because hopefully it'll have a fourth season.

01:25:06.000 I would say one of the best comedy that I can think of, of the last few years.

01:25:11.000 We have that clip there?

01:25:12.000 All right, this is a clip, and you can just tell us when to stop it, Dave, because we didn't bring this into the tricam.

01:25:16.000 Yeah, it's a longer clip, but if you just see the first minute or two, you kind of get where it is, and it's brilliant.

01:25:21.000 Okay, here we go.

01:25:23.000 Hello, my buddy.

01:25:25.000 I did want to say one thing about my buddy, Richie, who has a disease.

01:25:30.000 But it's an interesting disease he has.

01:25:32.000 He has a disease of alcoholism.

01:25:35.000 Alcoholism.

01:25:37.000 And he came to me, you know, and he told me, and I like to look, I'm the kind of guy that likes to look at the bright side of things, you know.

01:25:43.000 So I told him, I said, Richie, it's true that you have a disease and everything, but I think you got the best one.

01:25:51.000 It's the only disease where you get to drink booze all the time. 0.86

01:26:00.000 I haven't looked at every medical journal, but I believe It's the only disease where you can constantly drink booze.

01:26:09.000 As a matter of fact, that is the disease.

01:26:18.000 You know, and I don't think Richie would think he had a disease.

01:26:21.000 Like, I don't think Richie would go to my Uncle Bert and go, hey, I understand you got bowel cancer.

01:26:26.000 Ah, man, I know how you feel.

01:26:27.000 I gotta drink a lot of booze.

01:26:29.000 Those diseases.

01:26:31.000 They're tough, those diseases.

01:26:33.000 Huh, Uncle Bert?

01:26:35.000 Hey, what's your symptoms, Uncle Bert?

01:26:37.000 Well, my bowel, I got blood pouring out of it all the time.

01:26:41.000 I got bowel blood pouring out, gushing out of my bowel, almost non-stop.

01:26:47.000 And I got searing, clawing pains, ripping, tearing, you know, mind-screeching bowel pains.

01:26:59.000 And they're combined with aching, dull, soul-deadening bowel pain.

01:27:08.000 Those are basically my symptoms.

01:27:09.000 How about you?

01:27:10.000 I get happy.

01:27:11.000 And I love that bit just because he's speaking from a point of an addict.

01:27:20.000 Right.

01:27:21.000 And just saying how preposterous it kind of is, but at the same time how, you know, he feels serious about it.

01:27:26.000 Yeah.

01:27:26.000 And I love when he talks about going to AA where he's like, so you, uh, Because you go into a church basement and you give everybody your name, which doesn't sound that anonymous.

01:27:37.000 And you only give them the last letter because you don't want them to know who they are.

01:27:41.000 You know, and then he just, it's just brilliant.

01:27:42.000 I don't want to butcher it, but he's like, then you tell everybody, yeah, you blew a dog for a pint of gin.

01:27:48.000 He just goes, and who better to trust than a room full of drunks?

01:27:54.000 And you know what's funny?

01:27:56.000 When I've talked about this before, Norm is a litmus test, because you could be an alcoholic.

01:28:02.000 Or someone who's an alcoholism advocate, and be offended by that.

01:28:07.000 I'm sure some are.

01:28:08.000 Yeah, there are plenty of people who have been.

01:28:10.000 Or, you can be like you and say, that's a brilliant way to take something painful and turn it into something funny.

01:28:17.000 Norm really tried to push people's buttons.

01:28:20.000 These weren't anti-jokes.

01:28:22.000 People have sort of misrepresented that.

01:28:23.000 They were jokes.

01:28:24.000 They just happened to be jokes that pushed your buttons, sort of like an Alice Cooper, and that's why I think they're very similar.

01:28:29.000 Alice Cooper learned how to push your buttons, and so did Dio.

01:28:33.000 You know, Dio back then talked about imagery.

01:28:34.000 He was like, well, how do you think that's satanic?

01:28:36.000 How do you know what Satan looks like with that image, and how do you know that that priest is the good guy?

01:28:40.000 You're the one who's conferred this meaning to this imagery.

01:28:44.000 And Norm Macdonald allowed people to copy-paste what they thought onto him, and so people would be offended or be brought tremendous joy by the exact same bit.

01:28:54.000 Something I took from that, too, it was almost like cautionary.

01:28:57.000 I was like, oh, well, yeah, I guess at the beginning of the day, if I choose to start drinking, I know you can have a proclivity for it or a tendency to get addicted to things, I get that, but it's like, huh, that guy didn't choose to get cancer.

01:29:08.000 There's a slight difference there, right?

01:29:10.000 Yeah, and even if we played it for another second, I forgot about the line where he just goes, and I find it easier to talk to people.

01:29:16.000 Yeah.

01:29:18.000 And you know, Dennis Miller, who was good friends with Norm.

01:29:20.000 And I love Dennis.

01:29:21.000 And it's funny, you know, Dennis Miller, Adam Sandler, Norm, Spade, all friends, and none of them were conservatives when they were younger.

01:29:30.000 They all became conservative as they got older.

01:29:32.000 I don't know about Spade.

01:29:32.000 Maybe he's neutral, but he's certainly not a liberal.

01:29:34.000 He's funny as hell.

01:29:35.000 I think he's a conservative.

01:29:36.000 When he donates millions of dollars in AR-15s to the LAPD, come on.

01:29:40.000 Come on.

01:29:41.000 But Dennis Miller had a similar bit about relapsing as an alcoholic.

01:29:46.000 That's gotta be, that isn't necessarily the worst day of your life.

01:29:49.000 Your friend's going, hey, what's wrong with you?

01:29:51.000 I got the disease back, man!

01:29:54.000 I'm riddled with it!

01:29:55.000 Riddled.

01:29:59.000 That's why they all, you know, they all experience a level of addiction.

01:30:03.000 And I mean, Harley was their good friend who was the prime example of when you take in everything.

01:30:09.000 Right.

01:30:09.000 You know?

01:30:09.000 And I think David Spade is more swimming in his sex addiction.

01:30:15.000 I'm just guessing, but Spade is one of my favorite comics, too.

01:30:19.000 He's really good.

01:30:20.000 Dude, he's a brilliant stand-up and people don't realize it.

01:30:22.000 His Last Hour special is one of the funniest ones I've seen.

01:30:25.000 You know who also has really great stand-up but doesn't write a ton of new material, but has never done a special?

01:30:30.000 It's Bobby Lee.

01:30:31.000 Who?

01:30:32.000 Bobby Lee.

01:30:33.000 I don't know Bobby Lee stuff.

01:30:34.000 I've heard good things.

01:30:35.000 You haven't done a special?

01:30:36.000 Well, I guess what I've seen are like... Oh, I've done like a 20-minute one.

01:30:39.000 Yeah, nothing.

01:30:40.000 No, I haven't.

01:30:41.000 I want to do a special, but I never... We could do a special.

01:30:43.000 I'll do it.

01:30:44.000 If you want to.

01:30:44.000 I mean, what?

01:30:45.000 Otherwise, you want to go to Comedy Central?

01:30:47.000 Good luck!

01:30:48.000 Well, no.

01:30:48.000 I did... This Is Not Happening 17 years ago, and This Is Not Happening is any time I've asked for a special.

01:30:55.000 Right!

01:30:56.000 No, we could, look, hey guys, comment, we could do it, we could, I don't know how we would do it, we could release it on MugClip.

01:31:02.000 Look, when we show up at SMU McFarland Auditorium, it's what, 2,400 people, people have been turned away, I guarantee you we can tape a special and find a way to distribute it.

01:31:10.000 There's no reason to wait for anyone else to do it.

01:31:12.000 I'll be in Dallas at the Majestic in February.

01:31:14.000 Well, no, no, no, we need a planet.

01:31:16.000 Well, that would be a plan.

01:31:17.000 The point is, I'm not giving them commission fees to the Majestic.

01:31:20.000 You guys should rent out your own theater and do it.

01:31:22.000 Yeah, no, maybe it could be at the Majestic, but yeah, but I just want to figure out what's best for you, what you would be happy with, and how we can distribute it.

01:31:29.000 Would you guys love to see Dave's special out there?

01:31:31.000 Dave is obviously...

01:31:33.000 Obviously, Dave is great at what he does.

01:31:35.000 He's very good.

01:31:37.000 He's a very good stand-up comedian.

01:31:38.000 And I would readily, I would say, of course, I did stand-up.

01:31:40.000 And I had started acting before stand-up.

01:31:43.000 And so my stand-up was very performative.

01:31:44.000 And really, after this show, my stand-up improved.

01:31:47.000 And then when I was in Grand Rapids, I pretty much just stopped because...

01:31:51.000 They wanted me to do bringer shows after I'd already done the Just for Laughs and these other shows.

01:31:55.000 I was like, ugh.

01:31:55.000 But it's because you moved to a new town.

01:31:57.000 So anyways, I always got really stressed.

01:31:59.000 Dave is a great stand-up comedian.

01:32:01.000 Dave's shows are all a little different because Dave is great stand-up, but he is the best person thinking on his feet, as you can see in this show, of anyone I've ever seen.

01:32:09.000 Anyone that I've ever seen.

01:32:11.000 And I don't think that's an insult to you when I say Norm Macdonald, funniest man who ever lived.

01:32:14.000 No!

01:32:14.000 Nick DiPaolo, to me, probably one of the funniest stand-ups.

01:32:16.000 I think he is.

01:32:17.000 And then, but quickest on their feet is you.

01:32:20.000 Well, thank you.

01:32:21.000 And I haven't seen all of your stand-up, though, because every time if I want to go to one of your live shows, then I get mobbed.

01:32:26.000 I've noticed that.

01:32:27.000 Yeah.

01:32:28.000 So I don't know.

01:32:28.000 People like to... They like you.

01:32:29.000 They like to touch you.

01:32:30.000 They like you.

01:32:31.000 They do.

01:32:31.000 They like to touch and give me... They like to give me food and cigars that I could never, ever trust.

01:32:37.000 No offense.

01:32:38.000 No offense.

01:32:39.000 It's true.

01:32:39.000 It's not the best idea.

01:32:40.000 Maybe with a gift certificate.

01:32:42.000 A cigar is so easy because the wrapper is so thin just with a needle.

01:32:45.000 I know.

01:32:45.000 I smoked one of the cigars the guy told me to give you and I shit my pants and woke up three days later.

01:32:51.000 In Tijuana. 0.60

01:32:52.000 Yeah, it was something.

01:32:53.000 Okay, and this is one thing, too.

01:32:55.000 I have a long history in talking about Norm Macdonald.

01:32:58.000 I think we have a clip here, just so you can kind of see how important of an influence.

01:33:01.000 We actually got a stand with Norm trending, because they tried to cancel Norm Macdonald, I think it was two years ago.

01:33:08.000 Maybe it was three years ago.

01:33:09.000 And this is when everyone had turned on him.

01:33:11.000 He had always been my number one guest I wanted to get on the show, my white whale.

01:33:16.000 So here's kind of a timeline.

01:33:18.000 Just so you can see how much he's meant to the show and his presence has been known even though he's never been here.

01:33:24.000 Let me state this emphatically.

01:33:25.000 Norm Macdonald is the most important voice in all of comedy today.

01:33:29.000 Period.

01:33:30.000 Bar none.

01:33:30.000 The reason that hashtag I'm with Norm, which is what I'm calling, is so important, he's not just a comedian, he's a veritable authoritarianism weatherstick.

01:33:37.000 He's a comedian with the single most stellar track record for using comedy to shine a light on the real taboos of our time.

01:33:47.000 To simplify, if Norm Macdonald is pushing back against something, that tells you that it's wrong, whatever it may be.

01:33:54.000 This is, for me, the lion in the sand, because this is somebody who has consistently risked it all, he has consistently been right, he was consistently praised for it, until all of a sudden, he's done it with the wrong people.

01:34:05.000 This is why, hashtag, I'm with Norm.

01:34:07.000 This is shocking because no one says what Norm says.

01:34:11.000 Because it's really easy to go up and make jokes about Christians in New York. 1.00

01:34:15.000 It's really easy to go up and make middle Americans seem stupid. 0.99

01:34:17.000 So because no one says what Norm says, it's shocking because all of a sudden being a Christian more right wing is more taboo. 0.99

01:34:23.000 We talked about that in what was edgy and comedy.

01:34:26.000 Everything you just did was character assassination on myself and Norm.

01:34:31.000 People booed him.

01:34:32.000 He didn't get the joke.

01:34:33.000 I didn't say any of those things to you.

01:34:35.000 Being a political pawn cause, number one.

01:34:37.000 Product sales coming second.

01:34:39.000 Network loyalty coming third.

01:34:41.000 And then it could be argued, maybe on a good day, comedy coming in fourth on the list.

01:34:47.000 And when you contrast that with comedy of yore and comedians of yore like Norm Macdonald, well, I think Norm himself said it best.

01:34:54.000 You know, if you really want to be really funny, then that's what you want to do.

01:35:01.000 You want to think, what would make Seth Meyers laugh?

01:35:07.000 That's how I live my life.

01:35:08.000 Next one, we were writing this bit, we couldn't get away from it sounding like Norm Macdonald in our head, so we're going to do this as a Norm Macdonald joke.

01:35:15.000 All right, Harry, let me get in.

01:35:17.000 All right, so today is the birthday of, you know, both Michael Jackson and Ingrid Bergman.

01:35:23.000 One captured the hearts of millions in her portrayal of Isolunde in the classic film Casablanca, a film some have called the apex of cinema. 0.97

01:35:30.000 The other was a homosexual pedophile. 0.88

01:35:35.000 Well I've felt that way about Conan when he's had comics on, even Norm one time. 0.99

01:35:49.000 He's like, how long has this been?

01:35:51.000 And he doesn't know that Norm sets these things up and then reels you in.

01:35:55.000 Is that when he had the Beverly Hills 90210?

01:35:58.000 You'll have to do a movie with Carrot Top, because it should be called Box Office Poison. 0.85

01:36:03.000 That was one of them.

01:36:07.000 Yeah, Colin kept interrupting him, and I'm sitting home going, will you let him? 0.99

01:36:10.000 It's obviously a bitch, you know what I mean? 1.00

01:36:12.000 It was the same episode, you know, it got cancelled back then, and I mean actually they banned him from The View because he said George Bush had just become president, and he said, yeah, you know, it's good to get a good guy in the White House, you know, getting murderers out of the White House, you know? 0.98

01:36:25.000 And then, what murder?

01:36:26.000 He goes, oh yeah, Bill Clinton, didn't you know?

01:36:27.000 He killed a guy.

01:36:29.000 And they banned him for life.

01:36:30.000 But in that same show, he talked about going to the Friars Club.

01:36:34.000 He talked about going to the Friars Club.

01:36:36.000 And this was on, I remember watching with my dad.

01:36:38.000 I just, I love Norman McDonald as a kid.

01:36:40.000 And I'm watching with my dad, and I remember sitting there crying.

01:36:43.000 He says, you know, I go to the, I don't know if it was a Friars Club, but it was something like that, where I get invited to this, you know, club, you know, and, uh, they, uh, they tell me, you know, you're going to go there and hang out.

01:36:51.000 It's kind of, you know, you know, Barbara, it's a roast.

01:36:54.000 Right?

01:36:55.000 And, uh, but then I realized, you know, when I get there, there's all these old comedians, but not like good comedians, not like Bob Hope or Milton Berle, you know, like, uh, like, uh, Frank Travolina, you know?

01:37:03.000 And then I realized, I said, like, hey, this guy over here, uh, you know, someone asked me if I wanted whiskey or something, and he goes, he can't have any.

01:37:09.000 You know, and I realized that every joke is, uh, about me being a homosexual man.

01:37:13.000 You know, and I'm not a homosexual man, as you well know.

01:37:16.000 Says the Meredith Vier.

01:37:17.000 Right away, she's stunned. 0.93

01:37:18.000 And he goes, but I realized that's how they, you know, these old-timers decided to do it, so I, uh, I turned over to, uh, uh, Frank, I think, I think it was Frank Trevelina who goes, I turned over to Frank, and I said, uh, you know, uh, he likes, uh, having sex with guys, you know? 0.92

01:37:31.000 And all he did was, he, uh, he looked at me like this. 0.82

01:37:36.000 That was all he did.

01:37:40.000 You could hear a pin drop.

01:37:46.000 I had to shorten it, but I realized I said he can't drink whiskey.

01:37:48.000 Yeah, no, he's not a fan of the ladies.

01:37:52.000 I realized all the jokes I'm playing, I'm a homosexual man.

01:37:56.000 That reminds me, in 2018, they tried to cancel Norm.

01:37:59.000 What was that for?

01:38:00.000 Do you remember that?

01:38:01.000 Actually, we have that, we're talking about that here in a little bit.

01:38:05.000 You know, yeah, we can just go to that now.

01:38:07.000 That was when Louis C.K.

01:38:08.000 found himself in hot water.

01:38:10.000 Oh yeah.

01:38:11.000 And here's the thing, with Louis C.K., and look, I think that, look, Louis C.K.

01:38:16.000 is a well-known kind of liberal in some aspects, and he didn't really stand up for people who needed defending at some points.

01:38:24.000 However, I think we need to draw the line between him, for example, Aziz Ansari.

01:38:28.000 Aziz Ansari is a woke social justice warrior who's called for the scalps of other people.

01:38:33.000 I don't think Aziz Ansari sexually assaulted anybody, I read that story.

01:38:36.000 We need to separate from the Bill Cosbys of the world and the bad dates.

01:38:40.000 Louis C.K., you could argue an abuse of power.

01:38:43.000 And I've joked about this on this show. 0.89

01:38:45.000 You have to go way into the archives, past even Harrison Greenbaum, about him masturbating in the green room.

01:38:51.000 It was well known in the comedy community.

01:38:54.000 The accusations against him were that he would service himself in the green room and ask women to watch.

01:38:59.000 But there weren't people who were saying that he, like, blocked the door.

01:39:04.000 They were added, though.

01:39:05.000 That was added later.

01:39:06.000 That was added later, yeah.

01:39:08.000 That was added later, but the idea was they felt uncomfortable and it was an abuse of power.

01:39:11.000 And it is!

01:39:11.000 And it's weird.

01:39:12.000 However, everyone sexually is into stuff that maybe someone else might consider.

01:39:17.000 The point is, no one wants your sexual details revealed To the world.

01:39:21.000 Yeah.

01:39:21.000 Now in my case, it's entirely monogamous with one woman, and so whatever it is, can't be that embarrassing.

01:39:26.000 In his case, it was with as many people who would watch him fap in the green room.

01:39:33.000 But comedians started calling for his scalp.

01:39:37.000 Yes.

01:39:38.000 Louis C.K.

01:39:39.000 And Norm was one of the few people who stood up and defended him, and that's when people came after Norm.

01:39:46.000 So I think we have that clip.

01:39:48.000 Comedians have gone up against Louis.

01:39:52.000 Comedians have said this guy should not be able to ever perform again.

01:40:00.000 But it doesn't mean you can't forgive or it's impossible to forgive.

01:40:05.000 I also don't feel anyone owes me an apology in public.

01:40:12.000 You know?

01:40:14.000 Um...

01:40:16.000 I think personally that you owe an apology to anybody that you did ill to.

01:40:28.000 You owe an apology to people that your actions hurt in a financial way or an emotional way.

01:40:39.000 But nobody owes me an apology, you know.

01:40:44.000 That used to be called Yeah, sure.

01:40:48.000 But he talks about forgiveness, too.

01:40:50.000 It seems like that's a concept that we've forgotten in society.

01:40:53.000 Yeah, there used to even be a redemption that was part of society, and now we don't want that.

01:40:58.000 We just want to destroy.

01:40:59.000 Right. It's just sacrifice after sacrifice. Yeah. Well, real apologies and you know

01:41:04.000 contrition too I guess is the start of that and we don't see a lot of that we

01:41:07.000 just see like oh well. Well and it's who does Louis CK owe an apology to? I mean

01:41:11.000 if anybody, okay you said yes, you let him do what he did, it is what it is, maybe

01:41:16.000 it's regrettable now and maybe you should apologize for that but at the

01:41:19.000 same time you know to act like people are powerless when Sarah Silverman and

01:41:23.000 Janine Garofalo and all these other comedians that come forward for Louis,

01:41:27.000 you know you have people, extremely liberal like you said.

01:41:32.000 Sarah Silverman kind of backtracked though.

01:41:33.000 Yeah, well, yeah, I guess.

01:41:36.000 I guess.

01:41:36.000 But I mean, she still took a more noble stance than some open-mikers.

01:41:40.000 Right.

01:41:40.000 Yeah, I know.

01:41:41.000 That's the problem.

01:41:41.000 It's all these open-mikers who go after them, who just want to sort of... And this is also what you're seeing right now with Norman.

01:41:46.000 I think everyone should obviously honor Norman, him passing.

01:41:49.000 But now you have people who were on the other side of these issues.

01:41:53.000 In opposition to Norm, now I've been like, oh yeah, I thought he was great!

01:41:57.000 And he has been one of the biggest influences on this show, period.

01:42:01.000 I used to tell people, when people used to say, and if you look at some of the jokes that we've written or that we've told on the show, you can clearly see the influence.

01:42:10.000 David Letterman and John Stossel. That's how I used to describe it to people.

01:42:14.000 I would say David Letterman meets kind of John Stossel.

01:42:17.000 And then there's a little bit of early Howard Stern and the, you know, sense of humor.

01:42:21.000 Norm Macdonald is always, you know, you think he's the funniest person ever.

01:42:23.000 Yeah.

01:42:24.000 So that would be sort of the four-person mix of what probably influenced this show the most.

01:42:30.000 Yeah.

01:42:31.000 You've talked about that several times with me, because I didn't grow up watching a lot of comedy.

01:42:34.000 I watched a little bit of SNL, and then I just kind of broke away.

01:42:37.000 So I saw some of those things about OJ that he said pretty much around the time.

01:42:42.000 But you always talked about, like, these are the guys that really have influenced you and this show.

01:42:46.000 And I know that's so many people out there.

01:42:47.000 I just didn't have that perspective on how much he had done until, honestly, this.

01:42:52.000 Well, and you know what?

01:42:52.000 And this is—bring me to my last point.

01:42:55.000 There is a common thread if you look at not only what we do here, but my biggest influences.

01:43:01.000 Okay, let's just take that.

01:43:02.000 Norm, David Letterman, John Stossel.

01:43:07.000 What one thing have all of them, early Letterman, the common thread that they all, is they all poked their finger in the chest of authority.

01:43:18.000 From David Letterman, daring NBC to fire him, or sorry, CBS to fire him, right?

01:43:23.000 Showing up at the GE studios there with fruit baskets and then kicking him out of his own office.

01:43:29.000 Norm Macdonald poking his finger in the chest of NBC.

01:43:33.000 You can't tell Michael Jackson jokes.

01:43:34.000 You can't tell OJ jokes.

01:43:36.000 Well, I guess you should watch.

01:43:38.000 And then he did it.

01:43:39.000 John Stossel.

01:43:40.000 John Stossel was reviled at ABC.

01:43:42.000 John Stossel went against the grain and went from consumer reporting to reporting on government corruption.

01:43:47.000 And whether you like what we do or not, look, YouTube and Google is the most powerful company that's ever existed.

01:43:55.000 Number two through five would be Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Twitter, right?

01:44:00.000 So that's the authority.

01:44:01.000 You think that the media is fans of us?

01:44:04.000 So there's always been an influence for me.

01:44:06.000 I've just always found it funny when someone, the jester, pokes fun at the king.

01:44:11.000 And that, whether I realize it or not in the formative years, is also what turned me into a problem child.

01:44:17.000 But not in the sense of, you know, I wasn't doing drugs and stuff like that, and I wasn't, like, harming people, but I had a strong sense of justice, but I had no respect for authority if I thought it was ill-gotten.

01:44:28.000 Which is wrong of me!

01:44:29.000 Don't get me wrong, but like, I would just, like, you'd have, in my report card, Pleasure to teach.

01:44:33.000 Pleasure to teach.

01:44:34.000 These were teachers who I respected and disruptive and or abusive in class.

01:44:38.000 That's a comment.

01:44:39.000 And I was like, well, yeah, that teacher's an actual communist.

01:44:42.000 And I'm not just misusing it.

01:44:43.000 She says she's a communist and it works beautiful in theory. 0.99

01:44:45.000 And so every time I go into drama class, I take a big gold Steven shit on her. 0.99

01:44:50.000 My dad was like, you shouldn't do that, but it's drama class, it's your views, I mean, come on! 0.96

01:44:57.000 Here's some quotes though, too, from Norm, defending free speech and criticizing sort of the modern, like you're talking about modern comedians, he says, if you can tell me one funny socially relevant joke, I'd give you a million dollars.

01:45:11.000 Comedians, when they get really good, and nowadays they don't even have to get good, reach a point where they feel they should be philosophers.

01:45:17.000 I've heard it said even that the modern day philosophers are comedians.

01:45:20.000 I read modern day philosophers!

01:45:23.000 I'm sure they're insulted when they're compared to people who work in smoky nightclubs and hit on waitresses for a living.

01:45:30.000 If you're watching a comedian on television, he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

01:45:35.000 Which is ironic because he would do it, but he would do it through comedy.

01:45:39.000 Yes.

01:45:39.000 In other words, you have to read through it.

01:45:40.000 He would do it in a way that was funny as opposed to someone like a Trevor Noah or a Stephen Colbert.

01:45:46.000 Well, he's saying just making the point.

01:45:48.000 Yeah, just making the point.

01:45:50.000 Not making the joke.

01:45:50.000 Yeah.

01:45:51.000 Where they've decided that is their most important, you know, modus operandi.

01:45:54.000 That's why I never have a point.

01:45:57.000 The model used to be, admit wrongdoing, show complete contrition, and then we can give you a second chance.

01:46:03.000 Talking about the forgiveness.

01:46:05.000 Now it's admit wrongdoing and you're finished.

01:46:08.000 And so the only way to survive is to deny, deny, deny.

01:46:12.000 And that's not healthy.

01:46:14.000 It's not healthy because there's no forgiveness.

01:46:18.000 And that ties up, I think, everything that makes Norm, Norm, right there in that comment.

01:46:25.000 What do you have?

01:46:26.000 You have the point of view of someone who obviously thinks that comedy should be funny, and he thinks that, or at least he used it to poke fun at authority, and he thinks that, he doesn't use the term cancel culture, he's more articulate in this thing, cancel culture!

01:46:40.000 He's saying it's wrong to treat people this way, and the reason it's wrong is because We have a society where we're looking for scalps.

01:46:49.000 There's no forgiveness.

01:46:50.000 And where does that stem from?

01:46:52.000 Where does all that stem from?

01:46:53.000 That stems from a worldview of Norm MacDonald that he has a job to do, and his job is not to go out and have a pity party over his cancer, which I think a lot of us would have liked to know how much time we had left with him.

01:47:04.000 But this is how Norm lived his life.

01:47:06.000 Whether you liked it or not, his job was to be a comedian.

01:47:09.000 You only got to know what he wanted you to know about him.

01:47:13.000 And he wanted you to know that he thought we were heading down the wrong path.

01:47:16.000 In the entertainment industry, in comedy, and a big reason because of that is because we've lost the forgiveness of someone, who someone and an influence was very important in his life, of God.

01:47:28.000 That's where that worldview comes from.

01:47:31.000 Without God, the Lord shaped hole in your heart, Larry King, there can be no forgiveness.

01:47:38.000 And I just think that Norm Macdonald, when people come out and just show one or two jokes, really miss and under-appreciate who he was, what he did, and the mark that he left, not only on this show, not only on this little world, but the world as you know it, in a bigger way than maybe you realize.

01:47:54.000 So, let's leave and then go to YouTube.

Louder with Crowder - September 15, 2021

Tribute to Norm Macdonald, Last TRUE Hero in the War on Comedy & Free Speech | Louder with Crowder

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