Louder with Crowder - YE CALLS OUT ELON MUSK FOR BEING A CHINESE CLONE! | Louder with Crowder

00:00:00.000 If the government knew that climate change was real, starting as far back as 1980, NASA was reporting it. And

00:00:09.000 the private sector knew it. We've got to come out and talk about it.

00:00:15.000 Boy, that b***h sure can talk. 1.00

00:00:17.000 Yeah, it's like we get it. 0.98

00:00:18.000 Twelve years, famines, pestilence.

00:00:21.000 I mean, get a new thing, lady. 0.99

00:00:23.000 Yeah.

00:00:24.000 Alright, well, uh, I guess check back tomorrow and see if God protects her or whatever. 0.66

00:00:29.000 Sunrise o'clock!

00:00:30.000 Alright, see ya.

00:00:34.000 Pull, pull, pull, pull him under. 0.97

00:00:48.000 angemintro You're a strange animal that's what i know

00:01:06.000 You're a strange animal i've come to follow You're a strange animal i've come to follow

00:01:20.000 You're a strange animal i've come to follow slurping noises

00:01:26.000 mmm laughing 0.52

00:01:30.000 ah ahoy

00:01:34.000 All right.

00:01:36.000 I can't hear anything in my headphones.

00:01:37.000 I now understand what Stephen's complaining about.

00:01:41.000 He keeps them really low.

00:01:42.000 He does.

00:01:43.000 He doesn't want to blow his ears out.

00:01:45.000 Oh, I have man ears.

00:01:51.000 All right, today is going to be an exciting day.

00:01:53.000 We're going to be talking a lot.

00:01:54.000 We're going to talk about Elon Musk.

00:01:55.000 Is he Chinese?

00:01:57.000 Oh my goodness. 0.99

00:01:59.000 Balenciaga update involves a penis nosed owl. 0.99

00:02:02.000 Seriously. 0.99

00:02:02.000 I know, they're on back order. 0.99

00:02:04.000 I've been waiting.

00:02:05.000 Media reports fake news on Iran.

00:02:08.000 There's also a heartwarming story of a Canadian woman offered assistance by the government.

00:02:13.000 And Mug Club, we're going to be playing They Don't Make Them Like They Used To, a little Sean Connery 007 edition.

00:02:20.000 And also, question of the day, on a scale of 1 to 10, how insane do you think Ye is?

00:02:27.000 Ye, whatever, Kanye West.

00:02:29.000 How insane do you think Kanye West is after seeing his appearance on Alex Jones?

00:02:35.000 We'll know, because Alex Jones will actually be here tomorrow.

00:02:39.000 Tomorrow!

00:02:40.000 If you can make Alex Jones feel uncomfortable on the show, you're like, okay, you must be saying something spicy.

00:02:47.000 He was laughing in discomfort, and it was fun to watch.

00:02:52.000 He filed for bankruptcy the very next day.

00:02:54.000 I don't think the timing had anything to do with it.

00:02:57.000 I'm sure it was a blow to the ego.

00:03:00.000 But you can see me December 16th and 17th at the Funny Bone in Syracuse, New York.

00:03:06.000 And the other thing is this weekend I'll be at the Comedy Castle in Detroit.

00:03:10.000 So come out.

00:03:12.000 They do have a castle in Detroit.

00:03:13.000 They have a few castles.

00:03:15.000 They do.

00:03:16.000 But before we get into this, let's go ahead.

00:03:18.000 Gerald A., how are you doing today?

00:03:20.000 I'm well, sir.

00:03:20.000 How are you?

00:03:21.000 I'm alive!

00:03:22.000 That was the finishing leg of the Fall Tour, the Rebels With a Cause Tour.

00:03:26.000 It was amazing.

00:03:27.000 The people in Jersey and Baltimore were absolutely incredible.

00:03:29.000 Awesome!

00:03:30.000 I can't thank you guys enough for coming out and supporting, and everybody here who has supported us this whole tour, thank you so much.

00:03:36.000 It means the world to us, it really does.

00:03:39.000 Except, you know, one player we don't want to talk about.

00:03:45.000 No, every place was good.

00:03:46.000 Every place was fun.

00:03:47.000 Token Nowin, how are you?

00:03:48.000 Ahoy, Dave.

00:03:50.000 Ahoy to you.

00:03:51.000 Akuza?

00:03:52.000 Good morning.

00:03:55.000 That's better.

00:03:56.000 Tim the Toolman?

00:03:57.000 Good morning, sir.

00:03:58.000 Good morning.

00:03:59.000 He was with us all weekend.

00:04:00.000 Yeah, somebody actually gave me this hat.

00:04:03.000 Oh, really?

00:04:05.000 In Jersey.

00:04:06.000 He was operating the spot.

00:04:08.000 Oh, that's awesome.

00:04:08.000 Square it up to the camera, let's read that.

00:04:11.000 Let's pull it up.

00:04:12.000 Don't blame me, I voted for Trump.

00:04:14.000 I like it.

00:04:16.000 And someone gave us some stuff, too.

00:04:21.000 Herpes?

00:04:22.000 Yeah, I have that as well.

00:04:23.000 We'll save that discussion for another day.

00:04:25.000 Yeah, we'll save that discussion for another day.

00:04:27.000 Warts.

00:04:28.000 Anyway.

00:04:29.000 And we also have one of my favorite people, Crawdaddy.

00:04:31.000 How are you doing today?

00:04:32.000 I'm doing great, David.

00:04:33.000 Thank you.

00:04:34.000 Yes, you were also on the tour with us this weekend.

00:04:36.000 I was, and everyone slept in the plane, but you and I sat up and talked.

00:04:39.000 So you crapped out on me eventually and snored.

00:04:41.000 I passed out for like a good 20 minutes.

00:04:43.000 That's right.

00:04:44.000 But I woke up just to hear the stories of the people that had been on the plane recently and I liked that.

00:04:48.000 You were very confused when you woke up.

00:04:50.000 Yes.

00:04:51.000 It was like George Clooney in Old Brother We're Out There.

00:04:53.000 My hair!

00:04:55.000 Where did I go?

00:04:56.000 I thought I was just eating cheese a minute ago.

00:04:58.000 Where's my dapper Dan?

00:04:59.000 People love taking photos with you.

00:05:07.000 You know, the odd photo.

00:05:08.000 I mean, come on.

00:05:08.000 You guys take thousands.

00:05:10.000 Yeah, but then they're like, is that Crawdaddy?

00:05:12.000 Get in his photo!

00:05:13.000 Or they run to you to take the picture.

00:05:14.000 They love you.

00:05:15.000 I like how Steven called you out in Baltimore because he saw your silhouette.

00:05:19.000 I was standing right behind Tim.

00:05:21.000 Yeah.

00:05:21.000 Half a mile from the stage.

00:05:22.000 He said, get, get, He literally just saw your outline and was like, get out of there!

00:05:29.000 Get out of my eyeline! 1.00

00:05:31.000 And John bailed on me.

00:05:32.000 Just took off and I'm left... Holding the bag.

00:05:35.000 Yes.

00:05:35.000 It was fun.

00:05:36.000 No, these fans are great though.

00:05:37.000 They are such great people and I love to see how they interact with you guys and they're just so fiercely loyal.

00:05:42.000 It's great.

00:05:43.000 They really are nice people, and we had Thomas Finnegan smoking a cigarette in every historic theater, so that was important.

00:05:50.000 This place was built in 1898, and he lights up.

00:05:53.000 Yep.

00:05:55.000 It's an addiction, Darren.

00:05:56.000 I mean, let's be gentle.

00:05:57.000 Yeah, you can't get through an eight minute set.

00:06:03.000 So let's talk about this.

00:06:04.000 This year is 2022.

00:06:07.000 That's a good intro.

00:06:09.000 Which means people are getting more insane by the day.

00:06:12.000 Here we have a female TikToker who's growing out of her body hair? 1.00

00:06:17.000 Growing out her body hair.

00:06:19.000 I saw an of that wasn't there.

00:06:22.000 It's gonna be fun today.

00:06:23.000 I know!

00:06:24.000 I have LASIK, but I also get starbursts.

00:06:27.000 We were talking about this, so everything to me has a glare.

00:06:29.000 Oh no.

00:06:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:06:31.000 Christmas lights must kill you.

00:06:32.000 Oh, they're fun though.

00:06:34.000 If my HPPD kicks in, it's like a little acid trip.

00:06:38.000 Well, you're too young for reading glasses yet.

00:06:39.000 You don't need them to read.

00:06:40.000 Not yet.

00:06:41.000 I'm definitely gonna need them, though.

00:06:43.000 It's a good trade-off.

00:06:43.000 Distance vision with LASIK for the... Deal.

00:06:46.000 But now they can do the whole bionic eye thing with the new lens, so... I don't know if I'm there yet, but I did do the laser thing and everybody's like, a laser in your eyes?

00:06:53.000 And I'm like, it's awesome.

00:06:54.000 It's a piece of cake.

00:06:55.000 Yeah.

00:06:55.000 I think mine took six minutes.

00:06:57.000 And then after that, you sleep for eight hours and it's done.

00:07:00.000 The greatest recoup time ever.

00:07:02.000 You can get LASIK by me at daveslasik.com.

00:07:06.000 He's a professional.

00:07:06.000 Yes.

00:07:07.000 Well, I try.

00:07:08.000 Professional what?

00:07:09.000 Don't worry about it.

00:07:10.000 I will fix your eyes.

00:07:12.000 Thanks for that, Casey.

00:07:16.000 Here's a female TikToker who's growing out her body hair and wants you to know about it. 1.00

00:07:20.000 Wow, you're so observant.

00:07:22.000 Yeah, I do have belly hair.

00:07:24.000 I also have armpit hair.

00:07:28.000 Back hair.

00:07:29.000 Zip it! 0.94

00:07:30.000 Leg hair.

00:07:33.000 And arm hair.

00:07:34.000 So she's Italian.

00:07:35.000 I don't really have a mustache or a unibrow though.

00:07:39.000 But anyway, my body just does this thing naturally where it like grows hair and then I don't do anything about it because there's no rule saying that you have to.

00:07:48.000 Gross.

00:07:50.000 That's a treasure trail because it doesn't go up to her mouth. 0.99

00:07:52.000 It goes the other way.

00:07:56.000 She also has up-talk.

00:07:59.000 Everything's a question.

00:08:02.000 There's no law that says I have to have no body hair.

00:08:06.000 Yeah, but, you know, shave it.

00:08:09.000 I mean, having a little bit of arm hair, okay, fine.

00:08:11.000 I don't think that's a big deal.

00:08:12.000 No.

00:08:13.000 The chest, belly, like, the trail hair, I'm like, ah, that's a little weird.

00:08:18.000 Well, you're doing it deliberately.

00:08:18.000 You're wearing a shirt that shows off that particular area of the body and then you're complaining that people notice that you're like, hey!

00:08:25.000 Are you French, Italian, something?

00:08:27.000 Where they have hair all over the place? 1.00

00:08:29.000 And she's just like, no, I'm a dick. 0.99

00:08:32.000 No, I'm just single. 1.00

00:08:33.000 You're a little Austin Powers tuft.

00:08:35.000 Yes, she has a giant, just Burt Reynolds.

00:08:40.000 Carpet mane.

00:08:42.000 Just a bearskin rug of a cleavage. 1.00

00:08:47.000 I don't understand the virtue in it, I guess.

00:08:50.000 Just don't be pissed off that people are like, that's a little weird.

00:08:53.000 Which is why, young lady, we're sending you a free manscape. 0.97

00:08:56.000 Yes!

00:08:56.000 There you go!

00:08:57.000 You can enjoy that and stop grossing out your boyfriend this holiday season.

00:09:01.000 But wait!

00:09:03.000 Kids and a family, here you go! 1.00

00:09:05.000 Yes, also... Also, good news, men are disgusting and don't really care. 1.00

00:09:10.000 If they're drunk enough, you're drunk enough, you're gonna get banged. 1.00

00:09:14.000 Alright!

00:09:17.000 I'm just being honest.

00:09:18.000 Like, if I was hammered in high school, like, that girl looks like she's probably in college.

00:09:22.000 And somebody was like, I have some chest hair and pit hair.

00:09:25.000 I'd be like, whatever.

00:09:28.000 I do shave my forearms, though. 1.00

00:09:29.000 That's the bridge to fuck. 1.00

00:09:30.000 Yes, this one's here. 1.00

00:09:31.000 This is bulimia.

00:09:32.000 Looking like a gorilla.

00:09:33.000 Yeah.

00:09:35.000 My bulimia arm.

00:09:37.000 Ah, good old... She's quarter Sasquatch is what happened. 1.00

00:09:44.000 Yeah.

00:09:45.000 All right.

00:09:46.000 Well, good luck to her. 1.00

00:09:47.000 I think you're going to make a man very miserable. 0.98

00:09:50.000 Yes.

00:09:51.000 On Friday night, Elon Musk dropped a slew of files that showed Democrats directly colluding with Twitter to censor information they didn't like.

00:10:01.000 This was huge.

00:10:02.000 It was massive.

00:10:03.000 I was watching the whole thing.

00:10:05.000 It was five o'clock Friday.

00:10:06.000 Yeah.

00:10:07.000 Yeah, they announced via Twitter the thread that Matthew, is it Tiabi?

00:10:11.000 Tiabi.

00:10:12.000 Tiabi.

00:10:12.000 Yeah, I had to ask for pronunciation clarification as well.

00:10:15.000 Yeah, but he put it all out there.

00:10:17.000 More expected to be released today.

00:10:19.000 We'll be covering that tomorrow when Stephen's back at the desk.

00:10:22.000 And, of course, on that interview will be none other than Alex Jones.

00:10:25.000 Yes, and we're going to do a deep dive because, like you said, there's more coming out today.

00:10:29.000 Our guys are going through every single piece of information they can possibly go through to get all of the details.

00:10:33.000 I know everybody wants to talk about this story, and we should because it shows Dems being caught red-handed.

00:10:38.000 It also leads to some shenanigans with Trump that we'll talk about tomorrow and his response to all of this.

00:10:43.000 So, stay tuned for that.

00:10:45.000 It's really fascinating just what came out on how corrupt this is.

00:10:49.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:49.000 Oh, it's beautiful to see.

00:10:50.000 Well, and it's the response from everybody, one, going after this guy and two, kind of saying that this is really nothing. 0.99

00:10:55.000 It's just all penis pics of Hunter Biden. 0.99

00:10:58.000 I'm like, OK, yeah, you didn't read any of this because James Woods didn't send a penis pic. 0.99

00:11:03.000 And that's not why he was asked to be removed. 0.96

00:11:05.000 So, yeah, you're going to end up in some really interesting legal.

00:11:09.000 He's going to sue the DNC.

00:11:10.000 Yes.

00:11:11.000 He hopes enough people draft in behind him.

00:11:12.000 I'm sure he's looking at a class action.

00:11:14.000 Oh yeah, absolutely.

00:11:15.000 He can't afford to do that.

00:11:17.000 They'd wear him out.

00:11:18.000 Oh, for sure.

00:11:19.000 Yeah, I bet Merrick Garland's gonna take swift action.

00:11:22.000 Yes, he'll do right on that.

00:11:24.000 He's a go-getter.

00:11:25.000 I'm so glad he's not on the Supreme Court.

00:11:27.000 We did good on that one.

00:11:28.000 Doesn't he have to keep things frozen this winter?

00:11:33.000 God, he's an awful... Anyway!

00:11:36.000 Today, though, we're gonna talk a little bit more about Elon Musk, if you guys want.

00:11:41.000 Sunday, on his Instagram, Kanye West hypothesized that Elon Musk is actually a Chinese hybrid experiment.

00:11:49.000 Allegedly!

00:11:53.000 He put out some lovely little messages such as, Am I the only one who thinks Elon could be half Chinese?

00:12:00.000 Have you ever seen his pics as a child?

00:12:02.000 Oh boy.

00:12:03.000 Boy, this guy likes to triple down.

00:12:05.000 Yeah, he does.

00:12:06.000 All caps, too.

00:12:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:07.000 Oh yes, the all caps.

00:12:08.000 Stop yelling, Grandpa.

00:12:13.000 Also, he wrote, Take a Chinese genius and mate them with a South African supermodel, and you have Elon.

00:12:21.000 That's not a bad, anyway.

00:12:22.000 No, so far so good on that.

00:12:23.000 Yeah, I mean, I'd be like, sure, I'll take that.

00:12:25.000 Yeah.

00:12:25.000 You're saying that, yeah, I'm a hot man.

00:12:28.000 We have an Elon.

00:12:30.000 He said we have an Elon.

00:12:32.000 Yes.

00:12:32.000 Because the next part is where, you know, you thought this was crazy to begin with.

00:12:36.000 Well, that's when he says that, uh, I say an Elon because they probably made 10 to 30 Elons and he's the first genetic hybrid that stuck.

00:12:45.000 Well, let's not forget about Obama.

00:12:48.000 It's science.

00:12:54.000 So I was like, oh, okay, so he thinks a Chinese spy, or a brilliant Chinese person, not a spy, mated with a South... Okay, yeah, fine. 0.57

00:13:01.000 And that's nice because he's smart and he looks good.

00:13:03.000 That's what he's saying.

00:13:03.000 And then he's like, no, you're like part of a hybrid project that's from a dystopian movie that we've watched where most people didn't survive, but you finally did.

00:13:11.000 Right.

00:13:12.000 Well, and if you want, go ahead and comment.

00:13:13.000 Do you think there's a lot of truth to this? 1.00

00:13:16.000 I mean, you're an idiot, but go ahead and comment. 1.00

00:13:20.000 Wait, make sure you... You know, once you start saying the qualities of Hitler, people don't listen to you anymore. 1.00

00:13:27.000 No, they shouldn't.

00:13:28.000 It's really just the truth.

00:13:29.000 If you think this is all true, just let us know so that we can mark you.

00:13:32.000 Yeah, just... I want to know where you are at all times.

00:13:36.000 So I can stay away from there, wherever there is.

00:13:38.000 Lord, was that something.

00:13:39.000 Anyway, speaking of Obama, Elon responded to this claim on his Twitter, saying, I take that as a compliment.

00:13:47.000 Ah, look at that.

00:13:47.000 There we go.

00:13:48.000 I can see that.

00:13:49.000 That's nice.

00:13:49.000 Kanye then screencapped the tweet and posted it on his Instagram with the reply, it was meant as a compliment, my friend.

00:13:58.000 Now Obama, on the other hand.

00:14:00.000 Dun, dun, dun.

00:14:03.000 Again, it would seem like trolling had it not been for the Hitler outburst. 0.93

00:14:07.000 Well, you know.

00:14:11.000 All right.

00:14:12.000 So bad.

00:14:13.000 I'm going to go ahead and say this, and I know it takes some guts, guys.

00:14:16.000 Takes some guts.

00:14:16.000 Go for it.

00:14:17.000 Not a fan of Hitler.

00:14:19.000 Nor should you be.

00:14:20.000 I thought he was bad.

00:14:21.000 How about Nazis? 0.99

00:14:22.000 I hate Nazis. 0.99

00:14:23.000 Yeah, me too. 0.96

00:14:25.000 I don't see the point.

00:14:25.000 See, that was pretty simple, right?

00:14:27.000 You're kind of supporting a party that's been dead for some time. 0.99

00:14:34.000 I think it's ridiculous. 1.00

00:14:35.000 If you consider yourself one, you're a silly Billy, I'll say it. 1.00

00:14:40.000 Stronger words. 0.99

00:14:40.000 Don't let my silence mean anything other than you guys are doing fine with this. 0.99

00:14:45.000 Okay, I'm just glad that you're here.

00:14:48.000 Look, you don't have to speak up.

00:14:49.000 Touche, I agree. 1.00

00:14:53.000 What a stupid thing to side with, though. 1.00

00:14:55.000 Somebody's like, yeah, good qualities. 1.00

00:14:59.000 Hit the like button, of course, if you don't like Hitler. 0.59

00:15:02.000 I think that's important.

00:15:05.000 Let us know who you really are.

00:15:07.000 Don't be afraid, guys.

00:15:08.000 Let's do this.

00:15:08.000 It's about time.

00:15:09.000 Take the hard stand.

00:15:10.000 He gets his comeuppance. 0.98

00:15:12.000 Now, after Connie's appearance on Alex Jones, it's pretty clear Ye is insane. 0.90

00:15:19.000 But he might not be completely wrong about Elon being part Chinese. 0.83

00:15:23.000 Elon actually sent us some exclusive footage of him addressing the claims.

00:15:28.000 Hi, everyone.

00:15:30.000 I'm Eloma...

00:15:32.000 Uh...

00:15:34.000 Mmm...

00:15:35.000 Money!

00:15:40.000 Money!

00:15:42.000 Give to ya!

00:15:45.000 That was actually three million dollars and he didn't even pick it up.

00:15:48.000 No.

00:15:49.000 You don't pick up pocket change.

00:15:51.000 No, you drop a nickel.

00:15:52.000 You're like, eh, I'll just leave it.

00:15:54.000 That's for the birds.

00:15:56.000 Yeah, some poor unfortunate soul come along and pick that up and have a better day. 1.00

00:15:59.000 Yes.

00:16:00.000 And if you're wondering about Yee's Obama comments, I don't know if it's yee or yay.

00:16:04.000 If it's y-e, it's yee. 1.00

00:16:06.000 I'm not calling it yay because that's not how it's spelled.

00:16:09.000 It needs an accent that they have in some languages.

00:16:11.000 Maybe an umlaut?

00:16:15.000 Oh boy.

00:16:16.000 So if you're- what?

00:16:17.000 What, is that racist?

00:16:18.000 It's an umlaut.

00:16:20.000 It's the two prongs.

00:16:21.000 Is that what that is?

00:16:22.000 It's the two O things above the O. The umlaut.

00:16:25.000 In French, it's an accent aigu, which means it goes A instead of E. In English, it's an I don't give a damn.

00:16:31.000 Yeah, there's a great document called American Movie where the guy calls the movie Coven, but he puts an umlaut over the O, and one of the actresses is like, well, so it's Coven.

00:16:39.000 And he's like, no, it's Coven, like witch. 0.61

00:16:40.000 He goes, yeah, but you put an umlaut over the O, so it's Coven. 0.74

00:16:44.000 You've been waiting to use that reference.

00:16:49.000 That's the only reason I know what an umlaut is.

00:16:50.000 What do you think I learned in school?

00:16:55.000 And if you're wondering about Ye's Obama comments, we've actually obtained an unedited photo that the former president doesn't want you to see.

00:17:04.000 I lost it, here we go.

00:17:12.000 We had some gremlins in the system this morning.

00:17:14.000 Oh good, I'm glad that was my face before that went up.

00:17:22.000 According to Morgan Stanley, to a Morgan Stanley analyst, one half of Tesla's profitability comes from the Chinese market.

00:17:31.000 Oh, a wet market?

00:17:33.000 No, a different market.

00:17:34.000 Oh, do they have dries?

00:17:36.000 They do.

00:17:37.000 So the thing is, he's maybe not ethnically Chinese, but he is beholden, it seems, to China in a lot of ways.

00:17:44.000 So we've touted him as being this free speech advocate, and that's right.

00:17:46.000 He's done some great things for that.

00:17:48.000 But there are some shortcomings, and this is something that we always do.

00:17:51.000 We did it with Donald Trump.

00:17:52.000 We do it with everybody.

00:17:52.000 Even if we love you, if you're not kind of doing some things that you should be doing, like speaking out on protests or something like that, then we're going to call you out just a little bit on that.

00:18:00.000 And so that's why we're covering these things.

00:18:02.000 He depends on a lot of his profit to come from China.

00:18:04.000 So is it a surprise that he's been a little silent on things that are happening?

00:18:09.000 Yeah, well, in January, Telsa even opened a showroom in, uh, somebody else say that.

00:18:15.000 Xinjiang?

00:18:16.000 Yep.

00:18:17.000 I think that's close.

00:18:18.000 That's fair, right?

00:18:19.000 Xinjiang?

00:18:19.000 Yeah.

00:18:20.000 In ZigZag?

00:18:22.000 I don't think it's that.

00:18:23.000 I don't know.

00:18:23.000 You're gonna put an X and not the word men after it, you've lost me.

00:18:28.000 Lane's losing his mind over that pronunciation.

00:18:31.000 Oh, I know he is, yeah.

00:18:33.000 Well, Lane has a very good education.

00:18:36.000 I have an eighth grade education, so whoop-dee-doo, Lane.

00:18:40.000 Whoop-dee-doo. 0.97

00:18:41.000 Whoop-dee-doo. 0.97

00:18:41.000 Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean you're smarter than me. 0.97

00:18:46.000 Musk... Musk has also praised China for their progress in, uh... Oh, there's a word over that.

00:18:54.000 Sustainable energy.

00:18:55.000 That's a select all.

00:19:05.000 That joke's only for us.

00:19:07.000 I know.

00:19:09.000 Do we have the overlay there in the sustainable energy?

00:19:12.000 Ah!

00:19:13.000 Few seem to realize that China is leading the world in renewable energy generation and electric vehicles.

00:19:19.000 Whatever you may think of China, this is simply a fact.

00:19:25.000 It's cool, right?

00:19:26.000 Yeah.

00:19:27.000 You like China?

00:19:28.000 It's also a fact that when you fly in, there's a gray-brown cloud over the mainland as you're coming off the ocean.

00:19:34.000 Yeah, just like LAX used to be.

00:19:36.000 I don't know if it's still that way, but, uh... What, you mean like Jersey was this weekend?

00:19:39.000 Well, there you go.

00:19:40.000 No offense, guys.

00:19:40.000 No offense, but, uh, it's, you know, get some big fans or something.

00:19:43.000 Blow it into New York if you have to.

00:19:44.000 Oh my god, it's just a... it's all these chemical plants. 0.99

00:19:47.000 It's just... Pete, you're all gonna... you're gonna die.

00:19:50.000 There's so much pollutants.

00:19:51.000 I mean, eventually.

00:19:52.000 Well, we're all gonna die eventually.

00:19:53.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

00:19:54.000 I mean, if a meteor was coming, it's not even the worst news we would have today.

00:19:58.000 That's true.

00:19:59.000 No one's getting out of here alive today.

00:20:00.000 No.

00:20:01.000 That's what I've always said.

00:20:02.000 That's what the doctor told me last week.

00:20:06.000 He said, especially you.

00:20:11.000 Then we kissed.

00:20:15.000 Did I reread this?

00:20:15.000 Hope not.

00:20:16.000 China is the world's top polluter. 1.00

00:20:18.000 Yeah, no shit. 0.99

00:20:19.000 Sorry. 0.99

00:20:20.000 And it's responsible for the same amount of carbon emissions as the next four countries combined.

00:20:27.000 USA, Indiana, Russia, and Japan.

00:20:32.000 Uh, just, uh, Indiana is a state.

00:20:36.000 India.

00:20:37.000 Which Dave knows. 0.99

00:20:38.000 In fairness, Joe, Indiana, though, equally as dirty as India. 1.00

00:20:44.000 I don't know if you knew that. 0.88

00:20:45.000 Well, that's pretty close.

00:20:45.000 Yeah, so, I don't know why I just said Indiana.

00:20:48.000 With slightly less population.

00:20:50.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:20:52.000 Cricket's not as big in Indiana, though.

00:20:54.000 No, no.

00:20:54.000 Bigger crickets.

00:20:56.000 They're more into basketball and football.

00:20:57.000 No, I like parts of Indiana.

00:20:59.000 Part of it's nice, just because there's Indian people from there watching and I want to perform there.

00:21:04.000 But no, your state's great.

00:21:07.000 We had a great show there.

00:21:08.000 We did, though, didn't we?

00:21:09.000 Yeah, those people were awesome.

00:21:11.000 I do like Indianans.

00:21:13.000 Is that what they call them?

00:21:13.000 Indians?

00:21:14.000 I don't think it's that.

00:21:15.000 Whatever it is.

00:21:16.000 They would be Indians. 0.94

00:21:18.000 In Indiana.

00:21:19.000 Indianans? 0.81

00:21:21.000 It's got to be because it's Indian. 0.99

00:21:23.000 No.

00:21:24.000 Oh really?

00:21:25.000 Because they didn't just add an A, Gerald?

00:21:28.000 We're going to get our team on that.

00:21:29.000 We're going to find out what people from India... Hoosiers! 1.00

00:21:32.000 Hoosiers, I knew that. 1.00

00:21:33.000 But back to the stat, that is pretty amazing.

00:21:37.000 Look at those countries on that list.

00:21:39.000 And all together.

00:21:40.000 Yeah, because China doesn't sign on to these climate agreements, and everybody's like, well, we're committed to doing this.

00:21:45.000 It's like, number one accounts for one through five.

00:21:48.000 Nobody else matters if they sign on to this list.

00:21:52.000 Switzerland's like, yes, we signed on, and we're like, oh, thank you.

00:21:55.000 Yeah, we appreciate that.

00:21:55.000 It's going to make a big difference.

00:21:56.000 Well, yeah, USA, India, which is extremely polluted, Russia, and Japan, which is very industrial.

00:22:04.000 Yeah, I couldn't believe Japan was number five, but maybe scale.

00:22:07.000 That's incredible, though.

00:22:09.000 I mean, that's a lot of, I mean, Greta Thunberg should go over there. 1.00

00:22:13.000 She should go to China! 1.00

00:22:14.000 Yeah, go give Russia a bit of lip. 0.94

00:22:16.000 Yeah, stop giving us a hard time.

00:22:18.000 Yeah, we're trying.

00:22:19.000 What's this?

00:22:19.000 Hoosiers.

00:22:20.000 I know it's Hoosiers, but, I mean, is it Indianans? 1.00

00:22:22.000 We're Texans.

00:22:23.000 That's it.

00:22:24.000 That's it.

00:22:24.000 Oh, they go with Hoosiers.

00:22:25.000 Can you call someone from Indiana Hoosiers?

00:22:27.000 Oh, that would make sense.

00:22:27.000 Not even related to their name, but fine.

00:22:29.000 I'm gonna go Indianans and change it. 1.00

00:22:31.000 Oklahomans, they're also Sooners.

00:22:33.000 I'm saying it can be both.

00:22:34.000 Is that true?

00:22:34.000 They're also Shockers.

00:22:36.000 Yeah.

00:22:37.000 Is there an Indiana State University?

00:22:42.000 It's a community college.

00:22:44.000 It's in Erie.

00:22:45.000 Andi is from Indiana.

00:22:46.000 That's right.

00:22:47.000 And she said we never say Indianans.

00:22:50.000 It's because it doesn't exist as a word.

00:22:52.000 I'm from Michigan.

00:22:52.000 It's right there.

00:22:53.000 We've never called it that.

00:22:54.000 Michiganders? 0.93

00:22:55.000 Michiganders.

00:22:56.000 That's great.

00:22:56.000 Michigangsters.

00:22:57.000 That's a nice handle.

00:22:59.000 Michigangsters. 1.00

00:23:00.000 But Indiana means land of Indians. 0.98

00:23:04.000 Yeah!

00:23:04.000 See how uncreative the name was?

00:23:07.000 They're like, it's just Saturday, so it's not offensive.

00:23:11.000 They'll have to change their name next census.

00:23:14.000 We've spent way too much time on that.

00:23:16.000 Well, I don't think we did.

00:23:18.000 I think everybody learned a little something today about Indiana.

00:23:21.000 In a nutshell, China pollutes and they buy a lot of electric cars. 0.90

00:23:24.000 Yes, in a nutshell, China's a terrible place. 1.00

00:23:28.000 Not that I've been.

00:23:29.000 I'm sure that there's parts that are lovely.

00:23:30.000 There's a wall I hear that's great.

00:23:34.000 74,000 babies die in the womb a year in China from population pollution. 0.98

00:23:40.000 I'm kind of retarded. 0.66

00:23:41.000 I didn't sleep well. 0.86

00:23:43.000 You know, I'm not the only one who was on tour.

00:23:48.000 Yes, let me re-read that sentence because it was so joyous.

00:23:53.000 64,000 babies die in the womb a year in China due to pollution.

00:23:56.000 That's insane.

00:23:57.000 That is a lot.

00:23:58.000 We complain about the pollution obviously.

00:24:00.000 How do you prove that?

00:24:01.000 Freda Thunberg.

00:24:02.000 That is tough.

00:24:03.000 It's called science!

00:24:05.000 We're not in the 1920s where you take a guess at how people get sick.

00:24:08.000 Why baby die? 1.00

00:24:09.000 Pollution.

00:24:10.000 What?

00:24:10.000 Maybe have a black lung.

00:24:12.000 I keep throwing my plastic bottles away.

00:24:19.000 Uhhh...

00:24:20.000 Littering killed your baby.

00:24:22.000 What?

00:24:22.000 Yeah.

00:24:22.000 How do you prove that?

00:24:24.000 I do want to see Elon speak out a little bit about the protests.

00:24:26.000 I don't think he's mentioned it at all yet.

00:24:29.000 And this is a bit of a failing, right?

00:24:30.000 Because there's some protests over what's going on there, especially as it relates to production and COVID policies and people being put in internment camps and people being potentially killed or not rescued in fires, sorry.

00:24:41.000 People being welded into their apartments.

00:24:42.000 Like, it's probably one of those things that we should comment on, even if you have business interests there.

00:24:47.000 But what's the good news?

00:24:49.000 The good news?

00:24:50.000 I don't know.

00:24:50.000 I'm just trying to make it light.

00:24:51.000 Well, the good news is he's doing something fantastic with the Twitter files.

00:24:54.000 He's opening these things up.

00:24:55.000 He's allowing people back onto the platform.

00:24:57.000 And by the way, this is not a complete amnesty.

00:24:59.000 You get to say whatever you want from here on out thing.

00:25:01.000 It's come back to the platform, play by the rules of the platform that will be open this time and fair.

00:25:07.000 And if you can, then you can stay on.

00:25:09.000 Right?

00:25:09.000 I like it.

00:25:10.000 That's what he's saying.

00:25:11.000 And I think that's 100% reasonable.

00:25:13.000 But he is missing an opportunity, I think, to call something out.

00:25:16.000 Now, he doesn't have to speak on every single issue.

00:25:18.000 I get it.

00:25:19.000 But this is one of the biggest issues in the world that every single major corporation that we've talked about, including the NBA, is silent on and actually silencing people, fining coaches for talking about it, removing fans that were talking about Hong Kong and held up signs.

00:25:32.000 Somebody just needs to stand up and say, this is bad.

00:25:34.000 Right?

00:25:35.000 Or give them all star links so that they can communicate with us without having to go through the Chinese Communist Party.

00:25:40.000 I agree.

00:25:40.000 I have a Detroit Pistons watch.

00:25:42.000 I still like basketball, but you guys are really starting to upset me.

00:25:46.000 You put your fist down.

00:25:47.000 Wow, Dave.

00:25:48.000 Easy.

00:25:49.000 Listen, they're calling a meeting right now, Dave.

00:25:51.000 I know.

00:25:51.000 They're like, this guy right here.

00:25:54.000 It's because they don't want me to play.

00:25:55.000 That's right.

00:25:56.000 Because I'm short.

00:25:57.000 I can't do it.

00:25:57.000 But have you ever seen me dunk?

00:25:59.000 Yeah, you have. 0.99

00:26:00.000 You're nuts, but no one has ever seen you dunk. 1.00

00:26:02.000 Ever. 1.00

00:26:02.000 Nobody! 1.00

00:26:03.000 I tried to do it on my son's Fisher-Price rim and I broke my knee.

00:26:06.000 Ugh.

00:26:07.000 You gotta go with Little Tikes. 1.00

00:26:08.000 Yeah, I went Little Tikes.

00:26:11.000 I got myself a pair of Jordans.

00:26:13.000 I jumped a quarter inch in the air.

00:26:15.000 It was impressive.

00:26:15.000 And a trampoline and dunked.

00:26:19.000 If I could dunk on a trampoline, I wouldn't be here right now.

00:26:22.000 I would be at my house, dunking on a trampoline.

00:26:25.000 All day.

00:26:25.000 Jumping on a Little Tikes backboard.

00:26:28.000 Yeah!

00:26:28.000 Oh, I would school my son when he was like three.

00:26:30.000 I'd be like, BAM!

00:26:32.000 Out of my house!

00:26:33.000 And then Trash Talk.

00:26:36.000 No, sadly he's a better athlete than me by a lot now.

00:26:40.000 He's already going into travel, like baseball and stuff, where that wasn't even close.

00:26:45.000 They'd like me to travel out of right field and ride the bench if they could've. 0.96

00:26:49.000 No, I sucked. 0.99

00:26:50.000 I did too. 0.99

00:26:51.000 At baseball?

00:26:51.000 A little bit.

00:26:52.000 Really?

00:26:52.000 I was okay.

00:26:54.000 Did you get beaned a lot because you're so tall?

00:26:56.000 Well, I leaned into the pitches so that I could walk.

00:26:59.000 Did you ever charge the plate?

00:27:02.000 The mound?

00:27:02.000 Yeah.

00:27:04.000 No, I wasn't a fighting kid.

00:27:06.000 Oh, I charged the plate.

00:27:09.000 I charged the mound. 0.95

00:27:10.000 I got beaned and I ran and I hit the guy in the leg and then everybody dragged me off of him.

00:27:14.000 With the bat?

00:27:15.000 Yeah.

00:27:17.000 You're supposed to throw the bat!

00:27:19.000 Well, he hit me on purpose and I chased after him and then the refs and my dad and other parents grabbed me.

00:27:24.000 So it was like the end of casino for you? 0.97

00:27:27.000 Beating the crap out of a guy? 0.99

00:27:28.000 Yeah, he was fat and I kept calling him Pie. 0.99

00:27:31.000 That was his nickname. 0.70

00:27:32.000 Well, that was his nickname to me.

00:27:34.000 So when I got him to pad, he hit me with a ball.

00:27:37.000 That's awesome.

00:27:38.000 Oh, it was fun.

00:27:38.000 I don't think Little League pitchers have that kind of control.

00:27:41.000 They don't.

00:27:41.000 No, this was probably when we were like 14.

00:27:42.000 Or Velocity.

00:27:44.000 Yeah, they probably do that. 0.51

00:27:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:27:45.000 It was intentional.

00:27:46.000 Yeah, it would have hit him harder if they hadn't gotten my shoulder.

00:27:51.000 Anyway.

00:27:54.000 So let's talk about this, though.

00:27:55.000 Do you guys wear Balenciaga?

00:27:58.000 No.

00:27:58.000 No?

00:27:59.000 Really?

00:27:59.000 I'd never heard of it until this story.

00:28:01.000 I'm not gonna lie.

00:28:01.000 Well, what's amazing is there's an outfit that, I don't know what you call it, I'm trying, an outfit that Kim Kardashian's wearing where she's wearing all black with a face mask and all that.

00:28:12.000 That's what Kanye's wearing on the Alex Jones interview.

00:28:15.000 Yeah.

00:28:16.000 Is this Balenciaga?

00:28:17.000 Can we pull that picture of, it's Kim?

00:28:19.000 Kim.

00:28:20.000 Kim Kardashian.

00:28:20.000 Ah, yes.

00:28:21.000 One of those degenerates wearing the thing. 0.94

00:28:24.000 Yeah.

00:28:25.000 Well, there's so many in the family, it's hard to distinguish.

00:28:28.000 Yes. 1.00

00:28:29.000 Gerald's playing dumb. 0.99

00:28:30.000 He knows all the Kardashians. 0.99

00:28:31.000 Yeah, he watches every episode.

00:28:33.000 Oh, he loves them all.

00:28:34.000 He knows the half-Kardashians, too.

00:28:35.000 Yep.

00:28:36.000 There are half-Kardashians?

00:28:37.000 See?

00:28:37.000 Oh, so that's what Kanye was wearing, yes.

00:28:38.000 Yeah, basically that.

00:28:40.000 Huh.

00:28:40.000 That's stylish.

00:28:42.000 If you want to, I don't know, cut someone's ankles off while they're tied to a chair. 0.97

00:28:46.000 There you go. 0.93

00:28:47.000 Yeah, they're pure Kardashians, and then those are half Caitlyn Jenner.

00:28:51.000 Those are full... They're sharp gals. 1.00

00:28:53.000 Yeah, this is a great thing I'm a part of.

00:28:56.000 See?

00:28:57.000 Look at that.

00:28:57.000 That's my dad.

00:28:58.000 Who wore it better, guys?

00:29:00.000 None of this world makes sense right now.

00:29:06.000 Hey Kim, it's Kanye.

00:29:07.000 Can I borrow your face mask thing?

00:29:09.000 Yeah!

00:29:10.000 Come on, where'd you get it?

00:29:11.000 Balenciaga?

00:29:13.000 So, uh, Demi, uh, Giversiagla... He's the, he's the, uh, Balenciaga creative designer, uh, who came up with the Kids Bondage Bear campaign.

00:29:24.000 I don't know if you guys remember that.

00:29:26.000 He apologized for it by saying it was inappropriate to have kids promote objects that had nothing to do with them.

00:29:33.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:29:34.000 Hold on, hold on.

00:29:36.000 That's his bar? Yeah, so it was two things. One, it was inappropriate.

00:29:40.000 Inappropriate is not the right word. It was absolutely evil, demonic, and abhorrent of me

00:29:47.000 to allow a child to be in an ad, and let me just read the last part, instead of objects that had

00:29:52.000 nothing to do with them, with bears in leather, whatever stuff that is, it's just bondage bears,

00:30:00.000 really? Like you're gonna have bondage bears and children.

00:30:02.000 This is not objects that had nothing to do with them. This is not like a Pepsi bottle sitting over

00:30:07.000 on the side nightstand, and it was like, oh that doesn't really have anything to do with that.

00:30:10.000 It was bondage bears in their hands.

00:30:11.000 Just say that. You've never gone to build a bear and added nipple clamps?

00:30:16.000 I didn't realize that was an option.

00:30:18.000 Nope.

00:30:18.000 And these bears came with a shiny red ball.

00:30:21.000 Yes they did.

00:30:22.000 They were like Teddy Rocksman except there was a gag ball in his mouth.

00:30:24.000 I thought that was the nose.

00:30:25.000 Like the reindeer nose?

00:30:25.000 That's not what it was?

00:30:26.000 No, it was a gag.

00:30:27.000 It was a gag, yeah.

00:30:28.000 Gotcha.

00:30:29.000 So instead of it saying, I love you, it was that safety order's banana.

00:30:33.000 So it goes... By the way, Kim Kardashian does a lot of black mask face.

00:30:38.000 Here's another one.

00:30:39.000 Wow, that's crazy.

00:30:40.000 Is that her?

00:30:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:30:42.000 That's stupid. 1.00

00:30:45.000 Who's the mannish one? 1.00

00:30:47.000 The younger one?

00:30:49.000 I shouldn't say mannish.

00:30:50.000 Maybe that's rude.

00:30:52.000 Well, in today's time, it could be descriptive.

00:30:55.000 Who knows?

00:30:56.000 I don't care.

00:30:56.000 We're not going to get into who's who.

00:30:58.000 Don't get into the Kardashians.

00:30:59.000 Some of them are cute!

00:31:01.000 Sure! 0.77

00:31:02.000 They're crazy! 0.97

00:31:03.000 Yeah! 1.00

00:31:04.000 It's a woman! 1.00

00:31:07.000 I'm joking, ladies. 0.98

00:31:07.000 I didn't mean that kind of crazy! 0.98

00:31:08.000 I meant more!

00:31:10.000 I love the women, alright? 1.00

00:31:11.000 I'm not here to tell you.

00:31:12.000 I think you're equal.

00:31:17.000 Oh, nothing?

00:31:17.000 All right.

00:31:18.000 We're gonna leave you on that branch by yourself.

00:31:20.000 Boy, I really appreciate that, guys.

00:31:21.000 Nobody jumping in.

00:31:22.000 Twist.

00:31:23.000 Just twisting that win.

00:31:24.000 Did you ever buy anything from Balenciaga?

00:31:26.000 No, I wouldn't know where to find them, Dave.

00:31:28.000 Face mask, or purse, or... Bondage bear.

00:31:33.000 The kid's shoes.

00:31:34.000 All right, so, but it turns out the CEO of Balenciaga's parent company, Francois-Henri Pinot... Pinot.

00:31:41.000 Oh, I'm sorry, do you wanna, because you're a wine homo, do you wanna go ahead and read that? 1.00

00:31:45.000 I knew that one from Wine, yeah.

00:31:47.000 Oh! 0.60

00:31:49.000 Please, Gerald, go ahead.

00:31:51.000 No, no, no, no.

00:31:52.000 No, no, please. 1.00

00:31:53.000 He owns a company that sells child, get this, I thought this was fake, child sex mannequins with penises on their face. 1.00

00:32:02.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:32:04.000 That really puts the pedo in your pedo. 0.95

00:32:07.000 Guys, I've been in locker rooms that would make guys blush with that kind of stuff. 0.89

00:32:10.000 This is normal life today.

00:32:11.000 I can't believe you would sell that. 1.00

00:32:13.000 Well, putting it on an adult would be dumb and stupid and all of the other words that you can think that mean the same thing. 1.00

00:32:19.000 It would be bad enough, but you put it on a child. 0.99

00:32:22.000 Like, why in the world does anybody think that this is a reasonable thing to do?

00:32:26.000 You're just like, lie to me.

00:32:28.000 Lie to me, but no accusing thing.

00:32:31.000 That means the story's so much different now.

00:32:33.000 That's all it is though. 0.99

00:32:34.000 It's Pinocchio, but they made it a penis. 1.00

00:32:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:32:37.000 Which is, I'm sure, the fantasy of a lot of people. 0.99

00:32:42.000 Have a penis for a nose? 1.00

00:32:43.000 No! 1.00

00:32:44.000 To have a kid that they made with one that they wanted to be a real boy.

00:32:50.000 You can get mad at me all you want!

00:32:51.000 What do you think that's a parody of?

00:32:53.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:32:54.000 I'm not saying that... I think the guy should be murdered who invented it. 0.99

00:32:57.000 I mean, not murdered. 0.98

00:32:58.000 I shouldn't say that because you can't be on the show. 0.98

00:33:00.000 Career-wise, he should be murdered and then later... murdered. 1.00

00:33:06.000 Die suddenly. 1.00

00:33:07.000 Yes, I think you should accidentally die. 1.00

00:33:12.000 Alright. 0.94

00:33:13.000 But this Francois guy is not the one who invented it, and we don't wish death on him.

00:33:16.000 No, no.

00:33:17.000 I mean, unless we have to.

00:33:19.000 Dave!

00:33:20.000 Nah, we would never do that.

00:33:21.000 Dave!

00:33:22.000 No, I think he's swell. 1.00

00:33:23.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:33:24.000 No! 1.00

00:33:24.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:33:25.000 Sorry! 1.00

00:33:29.000 His company sells kids with pieces on their nose.

00:33:32.000 It's not that I disagree.

00:33:33.000 Why do I have to pretend I like them?

00:33:35.000 You don't.

00:33:36.000 There should be very, very, very, very, very harsh penalties for things like this in our society.

00:33:41.000 You know this elf on a shelf?

00:33:43.000 Yeah.

00:33:43.000 He's listening to me and I'm gonna get more presents.

00:33:45.000 By the way, I just really quickly, my wife and I went to a mall and she saw like the Balenciaga.

00:33:49.000 She's like, how is that still up?

00:33:52.000 Somebody should paint that.

00:33:53.000 Was anybody in it?

00:33:54.000 No, I mean, it was, it was Neiman Marcus.

00:33:57.000 Oh, okay.

00:33:58.000 Neiman Marcus had a bunch of the like brand logos on the outside of the building that they're advertising.

00:34:02.000 And we just couldn't believe it.

00:34:03.000 It made my wife's first thought was criminal action. 1.00

00:34:10.000 And if you know her, it's not a character.

00:34:11.000 Yeah, that's completely out of character for my wife. 1.00

00:34:14.000 Criminal thoughts entered her mind.

00:34:16.000 That's the response everybody should have to this.

00:34:18.000 Well, yeah, and so she wanted to splash paint on it like you would someone with a fur coat?

00:34:21.000 Something like that, yeah.

00:34:22.000 We hate that stuff, right?

00:34:23.000 We hate it when people do that, but it's just like, our first reaction was, how is that even allowed to be here anymore?

00:34:27.000 Right.

00:34:27.000 Don't they know?

00:34:28.000 It's Christmas time, this place is filled with families.

00:34:31.000 Don't they know that this is going on?

00:34:32.000 Well, but look at these photos.

00:34:33.000 It's all just snake eyes from G.I.

00:34:36.000 Joe.

00:34:36.000 Like, there's not any effort going into it.

00:34:38.000 That's fair.

00:34:39.000 Perfect!

00:34:40.000 Look at that.

00:34:46.000 That's a good way to trick a guy to not knowing you have... Anyway.

00:34:49.000 Which brings us to... What?

00:34:51.000 This brings us to the 7 plus 1 rejected Balenciaga products.

00:34:55.000 You forgot Stefan in the chamber!

00:35:02.000 Yeah.

00:35:03.000 There's always one in the chamber.

00:35:05.000 Every time.

00:35:05.000 Have you noticed that?

00:35:06.000 I did.

00:35:07.000 Number seven, Don't Talk Boy.

00:35:09.000 Oh my gosh.

00:35:13.000 Gerald A. Number six, the Tickle Me Haley Joel Osman.

00:35:23.000 Number five, Crawdaddy.

00:35:27.000 Fister Potato Head.

00:35:33.000 I'll take credit.

00:35:35.000 Number four, uh, this one was actually a pretty hot seller.

00:35:38.000 She-man. 1.00

00:35:38.000 Number three, Gerald A. 1.00

00:35:48.000 Easy bake coffin.

00:35:50.000 You gotta get rid of the evidence.

00:35:52.000 I need a few light bulbs.

00:35:55.000 Yep.

00:35:57.000 Number two, Crush.

00:35:59.000 I just knew you were coming my way with the worst ones.

00:36:02.000 Pubix Cube.

00:36:08.000 Number one, the Epstein Bears.

00:36:13.000 Oh, man.

00:36:20.000 The last book you'll ever read.

00:36:23.000 And number one, or number plus one, Pog Patrol.

00:36:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:30.000 And this has been 7 Plus 1.

00:36:33.000 You forgot Sivan in the chamber!

00:36:41.000 Go ahead and hit the like button if you think Hitler's bad. 0.97

00:36:44.000 Alright.

00:36:45.000 Still bad, right?

00:36:46.000 Still bad.

00:36:47.000 I'm still voting.

00:36:48.000 Still not a fan.

00:36:50.000 Still not at all a fan.

00:36:52.000 Not a big fan of Hitler.

00:36:53.000 Nazis neither.

00:36:54.000 Never had a say.

00:36:55.000 Not a lot of good qualities.

00:36:56.000 Nope.

00:36:59.000 Western media reported fake news for authoritarian regime.

00:37:04.000 Yesterday, the New York Times reported that Iran... Wait, wasn't... Do we... Iran, that's the country we bombed, right? 0.88

00:37:12.000 You know what, Dave?

00:37:12.000 Iran, not Iran.

00:37:14.000 Yeah.

00:37:15.000 Iran? 0.79

00:37:15.000 Why don't you let me take this one? 0.79

00:37:17.000 I'm gonna let you have the baby. 0.78

00:37:18.000 Yeah, okay. 0.89

00:37:22.000 Guys, I'm gay. 1.00

00:37:24.000 You're a real coward with that, you know. 1.00

00:37:31.000 You muted my mic and I can't even respond to it. 1.00

00:37:32.000 That's right.

00:37:33.000 I see how it is.

00:37:33.000 All right, so look, yesterday... You muted the mic, you just said it.

00:37:35.000 What?

00:37:36.000 No, that was not me.

00:37:37.000 That was me, but... Okay, fine.

00:37:39.000 You just said it.

00:37:40.000 Yesterday, the New York Times reported that Iran will be abolishing its so-called morality police.

00:37:47.000 Comment if you've seen this out there right now.

00:37:49.000 All of the news organizations have been covering this.

00:37:51.000 And we feel like they have been covering this incorrectly for whatever reason.

00:37:56.000 We'll get to that in just a second.

00:37:57.000 The Times actually had a headline that initially read, Iran abolishes morality police after months of protests.

00:38:03.000 Now, yes, there have been months of protests, and yes, it is because of what the morality police did.

00:38:08.000 But writers at the Times drew this conclusion from a speech that was given from Iran's attorney general.

00:38:13.000 That's funny, they have an attorney general.

00:38:14.000 That's cute.

00:38:15.000 Adorable.

00:38:17.000 I didn't know that you needed an attorney general to kill your citizens and kind of basically oppress them in several different ways.

00:38:23.000 Well, it's nice to have titles.

00:38:25.000 That's true.

00:38:26.000 His name is the Quran.

00:38:28.000 Well, his name starts with a familiar name.

00:38:31.000 Mohammed Javad Montazeri, where he said the morality police was abolished by the same authorities who installed it.

00:38:39.000 So that's what they took and ran with and basically thought, okay, well Iran is taking some positive steps here and they're going to abolish the morality police.

00:38:46.000 The only problem is It's not true, right?

00:38:48.000 Here's the actual full quote from the Iranian attorney general.

00:38:52.000 The morality police has nothing to do with the judiciary system,

00:38:56.000 the same source that created it in the past from the same place it has shut down.

00:39:00.000 Of course, the judiciary system will continue its surveillance of social behaviors across society.

00:39:05.000 In the same sentence, he basically said, yes, yes, from that same source,

00:39:10.000 it kind of shut down, but they're going to continue to monitor your behavior across society.

00:39:14.000 Well, what do you think that means?

00:39:16.000 The morality police were basically going out and making sure, for instance... Kill you? 0.99

00:39:20.000 Is that what that means? 1.00

00:39:20.000 Well, maybe. 1.00

00:39:22.000 Women were wearing the hijab, right? 1.00

00:39:23.000 Yes.

00:39:24.000 We covered something, and I don't know that we have it in here, but maybe if, you know, Control Room, if you guys can find something on this.

00:39:30.000 Do you remember when the rock climber, we, we, climber, not rock climber,

00:39:33.000 she was in a competition.

00:39:35.000 Yeah.

00:39:36.000 And she was competing for, you know, Iran.

00:39:37.000 She had to climb on short notice.

00:39:40.000 Like they said, hey, you're up now.

00:39:42.000 She didn't have the hijab on, cause she was in the back. 0.99

00:39:44.000 She had to come out and climb without it.

00:39:44.000 Right.

00:39:45.000 Well, I believe that her house has been burned to the ground now.

00:39:50.000 But I need to confirm that because I saw some reports of that.

00:39:53.000 There was some footage that was out there about that.

00:39:56.000 So yeah, they're real tolerant when women don't have head coverings. 0.98

00:39:59.000 I get it.

00:40:00.000 I'm just saying maybe don't burn down people's houses for it.

00:40:00.000 Cultures are different.

00:40:03.000 That's what a lot of people are asking for.

00:40:04.000 Isn't it hard to climb a mountain with a face covering?

00:40:07.000 She wasn't on a mountain.

00:40:08.000 No, it's hard with a full burqa. 0.99

00:40:11.000 No, it's swimming with a full burqa. 1.00

00:40:13.000 That's the really difficult one as well.

00:40:16.000 It's called a beach burka.

00:40:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:40:19.000 So on her Twitter, journalist Nahayet T. Zuch, these are really difficult names, by the way. 0.99

00:40:24.000 Yeah, now who's stupid? 0.98

00:40:25.000 She outlined the issues with the New York Times reporting Montessori is not in charge of the regime's 1.00

00:40:30.000 morality police. I almost said mortality police. We're not talking about that.

00:40:34.000 That's what's the difference.

00:40:35.000 Montessori doesn't specify who allegedly shut down the morality police and when and how.

00:40:40.000 And Montessori promises to continue enforcement of countries' Islamic sharia laws, which we saw.

00:40:46.000 Right? So these are all kind of on the ground reporters, journalists. These are sources,

00:40:51.000 by the way, that CNN, The New York Times, Washington Post, all these different organizations

00:40:55.000 that are, you know, the trusted names in news, seeing democracy dies in darkness and trust us

00:40:59.000 above all else. This is all on the ground. And I think that's what's so interesting about this.

00:41:01.000 They could have easily gone out and done some research on this to find out.

00:41:04.000 So Iranian journalist Sana Ibrahimi described this as a propaganda effort by the regime here.

00:41:11.000 The Morality Police has not been abolished.

00:41:14.000 They have temporarily stopped working, which is a suspension, but we know for a fact it's not abolished.

00:41:21.000 They are not going to change anything.

00:41:23.000 And even if they do that, that's not what people are demanding for.

00:41:28.000 People are asking for freedom and their dignity, and they're not going to rest until then.

00:41:35.000 That's only achievable by overthrowing the regime.

00:41:39.000 They want nothing but abolishing the regime itself.

00:41:43.000 So this is just the regime propaganda that has been spread by the regime's lobby and its arms in the West.

00:41:54.000 Okay, so at the very best, this looks like a bit of propaganda.

00:41:58.000 At the very worst, she has a treasure trove.

00:42:02.000 She had some adorable dimples though. 0.93

00:42:03.000 Didn't she?

00:42:03.000 She was cute.

00:42:04.000 If you show those dimples though, you're dead.

00:42:05.000 Should we airlift Manscaped to Iran as well? 0.98

00:42:08.000 Oh yeah, we should just drop it.

00:42:09.000 You know, like a humanitarian aid kind of thing where normally it's food, but this is just Manscaped.

00:42:13.000 For sure.

00:42:14.000 Yeah, I think it's only fair.

00:42:15.000 It's not bombs!

00:42:19.000 Trust me, you'll thank us!

00:42:21.000 They all just break, so it's just an insult.

00:42:25.000 Well, I think if you drop anything out of a plane, I'm not speaking of the durability of the sponsor.

00:42:29.000 Well, it's got a parachute!

00:42:30.000 I mean, come on, we have advancements in technology.

00:42:32.000 That's true.

00:42:32.000 I do have tiny manscape parachutes I've made.

00:42:36.000 That's right.

00:42:36.000 It's your little army soldier parachutes.

00:42:39.000 I've made it out of what I shave.

00:42:43.000 This is the Dave collection.

00:42:45.000 They may need to be recharged a little more frequently.

00:42:47.000 Yes, they do.

00:42:48.000 Mine went dull very quick.

00:42:50.000 Well, you have to.

00:42:51.000 You're the guy at the end of the line testing the product every time.

00:42:53.000 Dave's shaving to see if it works.

00:42:55.000 Dave's got quite a forest.

00:42:57.000 Tropical rain, if you will.

00:42:58.000 Sparks coming out of it like Dumb and Dumber.

00:43:01.000 A grinder? 0.95

00:43:02.000 Texture of a brillo pad?

00:43:04.000 So look, there is speculation that the regime might want to distract from an upcoming planned three-day strike.

00:43:10.000 These protests are not going away.

00:43:13.000 The Iranian national soccer team, obviously we talked about them in the World Cup and the protests that they had.

00:43:19.000 So this stuff is not going away.

00:43:20.000 This is a big thorn in the side of the regime.

00:43:22.000 But it's unclear if that was necessarily a factor that was involved in this.

00:43:27.000 But the timing is kind of coincidental.

00:43:30.000 So, again, the major lobby group in the U.S.

00:43:32.000 called the National Iranian Council.

00:43:34.000 It's been characterized by protesters as an arm of the regime.

00:43:37.000 These guys may have been involved, is what I was saying there, but it's unclear.

00:43:40.000 They were instrumental in getting the Iranian nuclear deal passed, if you guys remember that.

00:43:45.000 It was basically pallets of cash, I believe, which is not the best thing to do.

00:43:49.000 It's just to buy people off and let them continue doing what they're doing unabated.

00:43:53.000 And the New York Times, to their credit, Did eventually change its headline to include the words, official says this, right?

00:44:01.000 So that's not, uh, that's, that's, they, they still didn't read the rest of the quote.

00:44:05.000 So it's, so by, by the way, can you pull that back up?

00:44:07.000 Pull the, you know, Dave would miss that says, hold on, skate right over that.

00:44:11.000 This is the brilliance, right?

00:44:13.000 This is the brilliance.

00:44:14.000 Iran abolishes morality police after months of protests.

00:44:17.000 How do you know that?

00:44:18.000 They go into it in the article that somebody would say that.

00:44:21.000 Is it normal for someone to say something that is about to happen?

00:44:24.000 Yes.

00:44:24.000 Otherwise, how do you know it?

00:44:25.000 Either it's a press release or somebody says it.

00:44:27.000 So they put in there, an official says, it's like, yes, but I already assumed that.

00:44:30.000 I already assumed somebody said that.

00:44:32.000 That's why you guys found out.

00:44:33.000 You didn't correct the story and basically say, he also said we're going to continue policing our citizens.

00:44:39.000 So it's basically the same thing, right?

00:44:43.000 We support a lot of awful people.

00:44:44.000 We do.

00:44:45.000 We have a lot of regimes that we are in bed with, or at least our media outlets don't push on quite as hard as they should.

00:44:52.000 Absolutely.

00:44:53.000 Unless it's Saudi Arabia.

00:44:54.000 That's a very good point.

00:44:55.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:44:56.000 Saudi Arabia they would absolutely go after, but Iran, for some reason, that seems to be a bit of a bridge too far. 0.56

00:45:01.000 Hit the like button, by the way, if you like us, and do not like, so we've already covered Hitler and the Nazis, but hit the like button if you don't like Iranian oppression of their citizens, maybe, and killing people for not wearing a hijab. 0.84

00:45:13.000 Yeah, go ahead, hit the like button if you don't like Iranian citizens being murdered. 1.00

00:45:19.000 Yeah, I don't.

00:45:20.000 It's kind of like the Arab Spring, you know?

00:45:22.000 Did that affect a lot of change?

00:45:24.000 Lasting change?

00:45:25.000 I don't know.

00:45:27.000 I don't know if they can be fixed.

00:45:29.000 But if we get enough likes, it'll fix nothing.

00:45:34.000 Well look, don't forget- Shows we care.

00:45:36.000 This is not- I don't think this is a coincidence.

00:45:40.000 The New York Times has carried water before for the- Look at that mustache!

00:45:43.000 I'm sorry.

00:45:44.000 That was completely out of line.

00:45:45.000 How dare you.

00:45:46.000 I could have kept that to myself, but she's interviewing a walrus.

00:45:51.000 We'd rather use a flashlight or things like that.

00:45:54.000 Oh, that's great information if there's a power outage.

00:45:57.000 Yeah, during the winter.

00:45:58.000 The flashlight will certainly keep you warm.

00:46:00.000 Yeah, that'll be good.

00:46:01.000 So you'll be frozen solid with a flashlight.

00:46:04.000 We'll know how to find you.

00:46:05.000 We'll see the flashlight pointing just in one direction.

00:46:07.000 That's good.

00:46:09.000 We'll have to wait until spring to bury you. 0.89

00:46:10.000 Do us a favor, point it up at your face and wedge it into the snow so it's like a scary flashlight-hole-lantern guy, you know?

00:46:16.000 It'd be fantastic. 0.90

00:46:18.000 You dead frozen.

00:46:20.000 That's probably what Wilford Brimley would look like had he not gotten all the betas.

00:46:23.000 The sugarfoot? 0.93

00:46:26.000 Just a healthy old foo-man-chewed fella. 0.85

00:46:29.000 Anyway, sorry I did not mean to interrupt you.

00:46:31.000 Go ahead.

00:46:32.000 I just like a good Fu Manchu.

00:46:33.000 So, do you remember the New York Times after we killed Kassim Soleimani?

00:46:39.000 Yes.

00:46:40.000 When Donald Trump- Is that LBag Daddy? 0.77

00:46:42.000 No, different guy.

00:46:43.000 Okay, same deal.

00:46:44.000 The New York Times- I bet they smelled alike.

00:46:47.000 Sorry, they tweeted this obit with this caption, Kassim Soleimani, master of Iran's intrigue and force, died.

00:46:55.000 Dies at 62.

00:46:56.000 You missed a few things there, right?

00:46:58.000 Master of Iran's intrigue and force. 0.87

00:47:01.000 I don't know what that means and I don't think anybody else knows what that means other than he was their chief torturer, by the way.

00:47:07.000 That probably would have been a better catchphrase.

00:47:08.000 And dies at 62 kind of, you know, he didn't just, you know, fall over and choke on a ham sandwich.

00:47:14.000 It wasn't peacefully.

00:47:14.000 He expired.

00:47:16.000 Yeah, he did not die peacefully.

00:47:17.000 No, no, no, no.

00:47:18.000 It was one of those, you know, surgical strikes where we saw his car and then his car was no more and there was fire on the screen.

00:47:25.000 So, that's how he died.

00:47:26.000 Was he driving a Gremlin?

00:47:28.000 Uh, no.

00:47:29.000 Chevy Nova?

00:47:30.000 Yes.

00:47:31.000 It really depends on the automobile.

00:47:34.000 It was the Pinto guys.

00:47:35.000 Yeah, Ford Pinto.

00:47:36.000 It's too bad he didn't have the Cadillac where they had the metal plate built into the car.

00:47:40.000 You know, it was the new hydrogen car.

00:47:41.000 To keep you from the flames.

00:47:42.000 Yes.

00:47:43.000 A firewall.

00:47:44.000 Yeah, there was one.

00:47:45.000 That's how Ace Rothstein lived in Casino was because they had the metal plate.

00:47:52.000 He was still burned.

00:47:53.000 The don't blow you up plate, just in case people want to blow you up.

00:47:56.000 Guarantee that was somebody in Detroit who was like, there's got to be a way to stop these things from completely exploding.

00:48:01.000 Yeah, well, so they also, the New York Times, they also ran a puff piece on him that same week, and just so you know, Soleimani was directly- A puff piece on a torturer?

00:48:09.000 A torturer, yeah, well, and he was also directly responsible for the deaths of Americans in Iraq, right? 0.78

00:48:14.000 And this was also known information at the time, so it's not like we just unearthed this nowhere.

00:48:19.000 Oh, great, so how did they fluff it up for us to make it palatable?

00:48:23.000 They basically do it by omission.

00:48:25.000 They don't tell you everything about this guy.

00:48:26.000 They say he died at 62.

00:48:28.000 They say he was a minister of whatever in Iran's regime.

00:48:31.000 Master and Intrigue.

00:48:32.000 Which is a weird name, by the way.

00:48:33.000 It's like a Dungeons and Dragons kind of group name that you come up with.

00:48:37.000 I'm not sure.

00:48:38.000 But look, it's not just the New York Times that reported the story wrong.

00:48:42.000 So did Face the Nation.

00:48:43.000 Watch.

00:48:44.000 I want to start with some breaking news overnight out of Iran.

00:48:48.000 They have abolished the morality police.

00:48:50.000 This is after months of protests following the death of Masa Amini, who died.

00:48:56.000 This was yesterday.

00:48:57.000 She was taken into custody since her head wasn't adequately covered.

00:49:01.000 Does this stop the protests that have been raging?

00:49:04.000 That's up to the Iranian people. 1.00

00:49:05.000 This is about them.

00:49:07.000 It's not about us.

00:49:08.000 I don't have a spine.

00:49:09.000 That guy's in a rock band.

00:49:10.000 I don't have a spine. 0.99

00:49:31.000 I Grow some balls! 0.99

00:49:35.000 I know, right? 0.99

00:49:35.000 That was the Secretary of State, Anthony Blinken, by the way. 0.99

00:49:38.000 So, you think these people... Well, like Anthony Blumpkin.

00:49:43.000 He could have said this so easily.

00:49:47.000 And we stand with them.

00:49:50.000 We stand with her, who was killed for doing what she was asked to do.

00:49:55.000 Arrested and beaten by the police until she died from it.

00:49:59.000 Yeah.

00:50:00.000 It's pretty clear.

00:50:00.000 She didn't cover her head, so they removed it.

00:50:03.000 Right.

00:50:03.000 Yeah, that seems fair.

00:50:04.000 Yeah.

00:50:05.000 There's no objective right or wrong with these people.

00:50:08.000 It's up to them.

00:50:09.000 Whatever they feel is right.

00:50:10.000 And it's so wrong.

00:50:11.000 That's what's amazing.

00:50:12.000 Anything that they even consider objectively right, like this, is wrong.

00:50:16.000 It's completely wrong. 0.98

00:50:17.000 I hate the fact that you get even pundits like that, though, who are like, well, you know, I don't want to crap on their culture of, you know, murdering a woman who won't wear a silly hat. 0.99

00:50:28.000 Yes. 0.98

00:50:29.000 No, and look, I get it.

00:50:30.000 Like, when you're talking about, you know, foreign policy, I understand that there is a bit of a game that you have to play to try to affect change.

00:50:37.000 Yeah, I get it.

00:50:37.000 Back regimes into corners sometimes and they can become more violent, especially against their own citizens.

00:50:42.000 But I don't hold out any hope that that's actually what's going on with this administration because Biden and Obama were the people who did the deal with Iran in the first place to give them cash all over the place.

00:50:53.000 I don't think that they are actually going to push back and they're saying, well, We're just playing the long game.

00:50:59.000 Joe, you've been in office for about 50-ish years now, right?

00:51:02.000 You took a little bit of a break because you guys couldn't win.

00:51:05.000 And you had every opportunity as Vice President of the United States to affect change in Iran and support the Iranian people.

00:51:11.000 They've been protesting for a very long time in Iran at different points.

00:51:15.000 And the United States hasn't stood up and said, you know what, we back the people of Iran nearly enough.

00:51:19.000 I guarantee you right now, if President Trump was in office, and this was going on, it wouldn't be that kind of

00:51:25.000 statement that we would be getting.

00:51:27.000 No. We would be getting a much, well, and maybe it would get us in a lot of trouble

00:51:30.000 because he would tweet it out with a Diet Coke can in his one hand. Yeah, and I'm sure they'd,

00:51:34.000 yeah, they'd probably cut out the parts they needed to make it look bad. Yeah, right. But

00:51:38.000 look, other outlets are also not reporting on this accurately as well.

00:51:41.000 So we have the AFP.

00:51:43.000 We have Daily Wire, I think, is one of these outlets that we had up there as well.

00:51:46.000 The BBC, Bloomberg.

00:51:47.000 A lot of conservative outlets even ran with this story.

00:51:50.000 Not picking on anybody in particular, but that was one of the ones that we saw.

00:51:53.000 And it's okay to say, hey, sometimes people drop the ball.

00:51:56.000 So this is a great opportunity to come back and correct the record on this, right?

00:52:00.000 So make sure that we get it right.

00:52:02.000 This is what's going on in Iran.

00:52:04.000 And it's not that they're abolishing the morality police and all of a sudden changing.

00:52:08.000 Trust me, Ayatollah Khomeini is not going to allow that to happen.

00:52:11.000 Well, it's a great opportunity to talk about what is Sharia law based on?

00:52:14.000 Based on the Quran.

00:52:15.000 What's the Constitution based on?

00:52:16.000 Based on Judeo-Christian principles.

00:52:18.000 Why is one exceptional and one will never advance?

00:52:21.000 And it's just, you know, use these opportunities to show the difference, the huge difference between what this American experiment is and these people that are living in the seventh century.

00:52:31.000 Well, and it's so easy to almost talk about now because everything is so, I don't know, it's so watered down, you're so used to hearing such painful things, but like, this is a human being, this is a woman who did absolutely nothing wrong.

00:52:44.000 Murdered.

00:52:45.000 Her life was taken away, and this is fine with an entire culture.

00:52:49.000 Why do we want to keep pretending that's okay?

00:52:52.000 It's disgusting and unacceptable.

00:52:55.000 Why is it okay?

00:52:56.000 Why is this okay?

00:52:57.000 The Quran.

00:52:58.000 Oh, don't say that.

00:52:59.000 Why?

00:53:00.000 Of course, come on. 0.99

00:53:02.000 You can crap on every other religion. 0.98

00:53:04.000 The sunlight is what, you've got to expose this stuff. 0.96

00:53:06.000 That's what free speech is about.

00:53:08.000 Oh, and also you have Kanye saying whatever you want, you're not gonna have- Yeah, that's true.

00:53:12.000 But you don't have, you know, going at people who- Their religion doesn't react like that.

00:53:18.000 It's a serious problem.

00:53:19.000 You're murdering people.

00:53:20.000 And like, this is a- I just hate- I find it so disgusting that you would kill a human being over facewear, and we're still living in a time where, like, we're talking to you on the internet right now, surrounded by, you know, microphones, and there's- Guys building electric cars, and this culture's still like, oh, she's not wearing a face mask even though she did what we asked her to do. 0.99

00:53:41.000 Let's murder her. 1.00

00:53:42.000 It's a perversion of modesty. 1.00

00:53:43.000 That's a serious problem.

00:53:44.000 I get that.

00:53:44.000 I know they want to be modest, and, you know, they see our culture, and that goes with freedom.

00:53:50.000 I get it.

00:53:50.000 Yep.

00:53:51.000 We have Megan the Stallion.

00:53:52.000 My bad.

00:53:53.000 You know?

00:53:53.000 We understand that.

00:53:54.000 We've got your Cardi B's.

00:53:55.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:53:56.000 I'd rather have Megan the Stallion who's allowed to show her body than somebody who's murdered because they didn't. 0.61

00:54:02.000 No, I agree.

00:54:03.000 That's the thing about America.

00:54:06.000 People don't realize how lucky we are to have this.

00:54:08.000 And cultures go through their kind of evolutions, right?

00:54:12.000 And we understand that there are going to be protests along the way.

00:54:14.000 There's going to be a lot of stuff that happens.

00:54:16.000 The regime is not going to want to lose control or lose power.

00:54:19.000 All we're saying is, look, I get that.

00:54:21.000 We can't go and just replicate American freedom.

00:54:24.000 No.

00:54:24.000 Absolutely not.

00:54:25.000 But when these cultures start to stand up, like in China, like in Iran, we need to be 1.00

00:54:30.000 there to support them.

00:54:31.000 We need to be there to say, yes, that's a good thing.

00:54:34.000 Now, you're like, well, it could destabilize.

00:54:36.000 Yeah, because the Middle East has been a stable place for the last 50 years.

00:54:39.000 You guys' plan has worked so swimmingly well that Nary a war has been fought over there.

00:54:44.000 Right.

00:54:45.000 I'm done trying to appease regimes that we hate.

00:54:48.000 And this includes Saudi Arabia, by the way.

00:54:50.000 This includes Qatar and places like that. 0.92

00:54:52.000 I'm not a big fan of throwing gay people off of buildings and seeing if they can fly for the thousandth time just to see if we could prove the point, okay? 1.00

00:54:58.000 I'm also not a fan of throwing death and human suffering at constructing stadiums so that you can host a World Cup. 0.96

00:55:04.000 Not my thing.

00:55:05.000 Six thousand plus people, I think, have died during the construction of those stadiums.

00:55:09.000 I'm just saying, let's stop playing like we like these cultures. 0.99

00:55:14.000 Let's just call them out when they need to be called out, and let's just support their citizens when they yearn for freedom! 0.87

00:55:20.000 And if you think you're liberal or have any idea of what that actually meant at one time, you certainly don't support the murder of somebody under these ridiculous dictatorships. 0.57

00:55:32.000 No, absolutely.

00:55:33.000 And the people are great.

00:55:34.000 Oh, I'm not knocking the people.

00:55:36.000 I'm trying to help them.

00:55:37.000 That's what I said.

00:55:38.000 It's the cultures.

00:55:39.000 It's not just that.

00:55:40.000 It's the cultures that are imposed on them by their leadership.

00:55:43.000 That's what I'm referring to.

00:55:45.000 Gerald, I love that you didn't say cutter.

00:55:48.000 Cutter.

00:55:49.000 Where'd that come from?

00:55:50.000 I don't know, I'm not sure which one's correct, but Qatar sounds better.

00:55:53.000 I always said Qatar. 0.94

00:55:54.000 It's Qatar, right?

00:55:55.000 There was a movie called Qatar, now they call it Qatar?

00:55:57.000 There's also acoustic Qatar.

00:55:59.000 You can't change it now.

00:56:00.000 Oh, jeez.

00:56:00.000 Electric Qatar.

00:56:01.000 Oh, Lord.

00:56:03.000 Well, I'm glad you let me take and run with that one.

00:56:06.000 Well, you know what, Gerald?

00:56:07.000 This has been Gerald Knows Stuff.

00:56:20.000 He added an echo?

00:56:22.000 Come on! 0.61

00:56:23.000 Well, I don't know how he did it when you said it.

00:56:25.000 He's working over the weekend just to screw with me. 0.89

00:56:28.000 Yeah, he don't like you. 0.97

00:56:32.000 Nope.

00:56:32.000 Never piss off the soundboard guy.

00:56:34.000 No.

00:56:35.000 I don't know what you did to him.

00:56:36.000 I don't either.

00:56:36.000 You were giving him that back rub.

00:56:39.000 Don't worry.

00:56:39.000 You were smooching with my brother.

00:56:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:56:41.000 You filthy animal. 1.00

00:56:42.000 One thing really fast. 1.00

00:56:43.000 This is from Wayne.

00:56:44.000 Qatar says 400 to 500 migrant workers died due to the World Cup.

00:56:48.000 But it's actually been revealed 6,500 migrant workers have died.

00:56:53.000 Even the Egyptians are blushing and like, guys, that's a little much. 1.00

00:56:53.000 6,500. 1.00

00:56:53.000 Wow. 1.00

00:56:58.000 I'm no mathematician, but I'd say that's a thousand times more.

00:57:01.000 Yeah.

00:57:02.000 Chinese are like, well that's about what it takes to build a good wall. 1.00

00:57:05.000 Yeah, no, that seems right.

00:57:06.000 You know?

00:57:07.000 Except theirs took forever, and that one died in a week and a half.

00:57:10.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:57:11.000 Well, it's 174,000 degrees there, so... That's... I know a lot of people that have been stationed in the Middle East, and several people have said, God doesn't want you to live there.

00:57:24.000 There's nothing.

00:57:25.000 It's insanely hot.

00:57:26.000 Nothing should be alive.

00:57:29.000 You have cobras that come inside to stay cool.

00:57:32.000 It's not a place where you're supposed to be.

00:57:34.000 Is it cool if we come in here?

00:57:35.000 It's kind of hot out there.

00:57:37.000 Yeah.

00:57:37.000 I've heard, yeah, nobody's like, oh, I love the weather.

00:57:40.000 It's great.

00:57:42.000 It's just, it's a step right before hell.

00:57:46.000 And spiders follow you.

00:57:48.000 To rest in your shadow.

00:57:49.000 Yeah.

00:57:49.000 Which I'm fine with.

00:57:51.000 They're not even going to attack you.

00:57:53.000 They're just like, look man, I just need to cool down.

00:57:55.000 Cast some shade my way.

00:57:56.000 They've got like a little white flag.

00:58:00.000 I know I'm hard to look at, but I just need some cool.

00:58:03.000 It's been a rough life.

00:58:06.000 I'll make you a nice web.

00:58:07.000 Do you like webs?

00:58:08.000 No.

00:58:09.000 That's all I got. 1.00

00:58:11.000 I got a house in my ass. 1.00

00:58:12.000 Now I'm gonna bite you. 1.00

00:58:12.000 Gonna bite you if you move. 1.00

00:58:14.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:58:14.000 Stay put now. 0.96

00:58:15.000 The size of a dinner plate.

00:58:17.000 Oh, I know.

00:58:17.000 That's true.

00:58:19.000 People are gonna Google it and find out it's true.

00:58:20.000 Oh, yeah.

00:58:21.000 It's like a crab that's following you.

00:58:22.000 Well, that's why, like, every animal there is designed to murder you eight seconds after it bites you.

00:58:28.000 It's like, oh, you carry water in your... Okay, fantastic.

00:58:31.000 I'll drink you for a week.

00:58:32.000 There's moisture in you.

00:58:33.000 Yeah, this is perfect.

00:58:34.000 I'll start with your eyes.

00:58:35.000 There's no reason to be there.

00:58:39.000 You worried about a hijab?

00:58:40.000 You know how many spiders was probably up on that mountain?

00:58:43.000 Probably a lot.

00:58:44.000 Preach!

00:58:46.000 Amen.

00:58:46.000 I don't like spiders at all.

00:58:47.000 I'll say it.

00:58:48.000 You know what, spiders, I don't even want you to watch this show.

00:58:51.000 They don't.

00:58:52.000 They're paid eyes.

00:58:52.000 I don't like that either.

00:58:54.000 Why can't you have two, like your cartoons?

00:58:56.000 Just kidding.

00:58:57.000 I don't have any to have.

00:58:58.000 Why the spider?

00:59:01.000 People say if you could ask God one question, I would go... I'm not asking about the spider.

00:59:04.000 The spider does a good thing.

00:59:05.000 I'm gonna ask him a question.

00:59:06.000 But I'm gonna go, couldn't you make it, like, cool?

00:59:09.000 Like, if a spider looked like a hamster, you'd be like, yeah, I got some spiders in my house.

00:59:12.000 They eat bugs.

00:59:15.000 I kind of like it that they eat mosquitoes.

00:59:16.000 Mosquitoes is the question. 0.97

00:59:17.000 I'm not saying they shouldn't eat mosquitoes.

00:59:19.000 You're getting me all wrong.

00:59:20.000 I'm saying make them cute.

00:59:21.000 Yeah.

00:59:22.000 Oh, you want it to be like a Charlotte's Web kind of spider.

00:59:25.000 Yes.

00:59:25.000 Oh, got it.

00:59:26.000 Which is still kind of gross.

00:59:28.000 But less gross.

00:59:29.000 Less gross.

00:59:30.000 All right. 0.99

00:59:30.000 Because it talked and was like, oh, hello, Charlotte, pig. 0.99

00:59:33.000 Like, wow, you can spell. 0.98

00:59:35.000 Yeah.

00:59:35.000 I've made a web.

00:59:37.000 I think you're so good, spiders.

00:59:40.000 Good. 1.00

00:59:42.000 Anyway, hate you. 0.89

00:59:44.000 A Canadian woman, who was also a veteran, called in for support for her chairlift. 0.93

00:59:49.000 Oh, well that's nice.

00:59:50.000 Have you heard about this?

00:59:51.000 Yes.

00:59:51.000 And was told that we cannot help you, but they instead offered assistant suicide.

00:59:57.000 That's right.

00:59:59.000 What?

00:59:59.000 She needed a chairlift to go up the stairs, and instead- Fresh out!

01:00:05.000 They were like, look, we can't really get you a chair right now, we can murder you.

01:00:11.000 For Christine Gauthier, the fight to get a wheelchair lift in her home has been an uphill battle. 0.93

01:00:17.000 I have to crawl down the stairs on my butt with the wheelchair in front of me to be able to access my house. 0.96

01:00:27.000 While pleading her case to a Veterans Affairs case manager over the phone in 2019, she was told something that would leave her feeling shocked. 0.84

01:00:35.000 If things are so hard at this point and you just can't keep going on, then you know we can assist you with aid to die.

01:00:45.000 And she's not the only one. 0.70

01:00:46.000 Jeez!

01:00:47.000 What?

01:00:49.000 So, let's say you support assisted suicide and people are in extreme amounts of pain.

01:00:54.000 That should be up to the person, not really the doctor going, hey, want me to kill you? 0.86

01:00:58.000 Yeah, well, basically I was looking for maybe delivery in the next six to eight weeks.

01:01:03.000 You're saying it's going to be longer and that I should accept death instead.

01:01:07.000 Yeah, you got a couple options. 0.97

01:01:09.000 We can get you one by July, or we can come by and, I don't know, snuff you out.

01:01:14.000 What one do you prefer?

01:01:15.000 Is there maybe a middle ground?

01:01:17.000 Hey, sounds like you want to meet God!

01:01:20.000 Can I pay for expedited shipping, perhaps?

01:01:22.000 Yes!

01:01:22.000 I'll pay the fee!

01:01:24.000 If you can't get up the stairs, then kill yourself! 1.00

01:01:26.000 Maybe move into a single-story residence? 0.99

01:01:30.000 Something we can work something out?

01:01:31.000 Yeah, there's no middle ground. 0.97

01:01:32.000 It's just like, yeah, I can't get you a chairlift, but I can have a group of people end your life.

01:01:37.000 Yes, we'll help you with the dying part.

01:01:40.000 Veterans Affairs.

01:01:42.000 I don't really care about if you have to crawl up your stairs.

01:01:45.000 I don't care.

01:01:46.000 Well, you're a veteran, huh?

01:01:47.000 Thank you for your service in the Mounties.

01:01:49.000 We do appreciate that. 1.00

01:01:50.000 By the way, we will serve you and kill you. 1.00

01:01:52.000 Yeah, speaking of service, do you have a firearm? 1.00

01:01:55.000 Yeah.

01:01:55.000 Yellow?

01:01:56.000 Yeah, just point that at yourself.

01:01:57.000 Uh-huh.

01:01:58.000 That's illegal, though, but we're gonna let this one slide.

01:02:01.000 Because it helps us with the paperwork.

01:02:02.000 We're just going to swing somebody by to cut your gas lines and we'll have you all set for the next couple days.

01:02:09.000 You know that bucket of maple syrup?

01:02:10.000 We all love it.

01:02:11.000 Just put your head directly in the bucket. 0.86

01:02:14.000 Don't move.

01:02:15.000 You're frozen to the carpet.

01:02:16.000 We'll peel you off like Velcro. 0.98

01:02:19.000 All your way. 0.99

01:02:21.000 Oh, it sounds like a make-a-wish and your wish is death.

01:02:25.000 Have you ever gone ice fishing in July?

01:02:27.000 Yeah.

01:02:27.000 Give it a try.

01:02:28.000 Yeah, it's good.

01:02:30.000 What we're gonna do is wait for it to thaw out and then just shove you out there.

01:02:34.000 How does that work?

01:02:36.000 No, I just want to walk.

01:02:37.000 I'm just trying to get up the stairs. 1.00

01:02:39.000 Yeah, you're stupid. 1.00

01:02:41.000 We heard you the first time, really. 1.00

01:02:44.000 We're gonna send you to hell. 0.99

01:02:49.000 So in fact, this is actually even a bigger story. 0.96

01:02:53.000 Canadian authorities are reportedly not only offering that, but now they're demanding use of their new chairlift service.

01:02:59.000 I'm not ready!

01:03:02.000 Ah, ah, see?

01:03:21.000 That one works.

01:03:21.000 Well that way they can only install it once and they can just recycle it to every veteran's house.

01:03:29.000 I love how on her way up the stairs she knocks the portrait askew just a bit.

01:03:33.000 And it freezes on that, like that's the travesty of what's happening.

01:03:38.000 There's a picture out of alignment.

01:03:44.000 Oh, boy, Canada, you guys are something.

01:03:48.000 But here's a gal that served her country and needs some help, as opposed to the people at Walmart that use the electric chairs because they're lazy. 1.00

01:03:54.000 Oh, yeah.

01:03:56.000 I feel that if you are that big, you should just run in front of that person and take the cart.

01:04:03.000 Have you ever done that?

01:04:04.000 It's really funny.

01:04:06.000 There's no law that says you can't use it.

01:04:08.000 That's right. 0.99

01:04:09.000 It's just a rule that we've all decided to abide by of not being a jerk. 0.97

01:04:13.000 But it's not a law. 0.99

01:04:14.000 What, are they gonna catch ya?

01:04:15.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:04:16.000 If you're like, somebody's like, you know... Those things aren't that fast!

01:04:20.000 No, but they're like six... They ain't gonna catch ya?

01:04:22.000 Yeah, they're still not gonna catch ya.

01:04:23.000 Yeah, have you ever... Have you ever tipped anybody on it?

01:04:29.000 No!

01:04:30.000 Yeah, you just get like four guys and tip a Walmart scooter?

01:04:34.000 Oh my god.

01:04:34.000 You never done the cow tip?

01:04:35.000 I did see one guy that ran out of battery charge.

01:04:37.000 If you jump on him like Super Mario Brothers, a bunch of chocolate coins come out.

01:04:46.000 If you're going around Walmart because you're morbidly obese, no offense, I like them curvy too, but if you're going around a Walmart in one of those using a reaching stick to get your groceries, maybe you need a call from the Canadian government.

01:05:02.000 They'll help you out.

01:05:04.000 From the government, I'm here to help.

01:05:07.000 Well, she was French-Canadian, so she's gonna have a tough time with Ottawa.

01:05:10.000 What's amazing, though, is she's completely of sound mind.

01:05:12.000 Yeah.

01:05:13.000 Like, there's no reason for her to have to die because she would like to get up the stairs easier.

01:05:18.000 She was a little impatient in waiting for her chairlift.

01:05:21.000 Right.

01:05:23.000 Which one tends to get when months go by and you can't get upstairs to use the bathroom that's upstairs.

01:05:28.000 Well, that was poor planning. 0.98

01:05:31.000 Well, we'll just put you down for one death sentence. 0.99

01:05:34.000 No, chair. 1.00

01:05:34.000 No, no, no. 1.00

01:05:35.000 Shut up. 1.00

01:05:36.000 I can't hear you. 1.00

01:05:37.000 La, la, la, la.

01:05:38.000 Pull my file.

01:05:39.000 Once we've made the selection, it cannot be unselected.

01:05:42.000 I'm sorry.

01:05:43.000 Oh, I thought you said grenade.

01:05:45.000 Yeah, look, I personally am one of the few people, and I'm sure a lot of people will be mad, but I'm fine if you are in massive amounts of pain and that is your choice.

01:05:56.000 If you have some assist in suicide.

01:06:00.000 Look, I'm just saying.

01:06:01.000 That's your choice.

01:06:02.000 It's an interesting question.

01:06:03.000 It is an interesting question.

01:06:04.000 We could do a deep dive on this.

01:06:05.000 We could, and it's just my opinion.

01:06:06.000 I never thought Kevorkian was a bad guy.

01:06:09.000 Yeah.

01:06:10.000 I personally didn't.

01:06:11.000 I mean, when he started doing it for fun it was weird, but in the beginning it made sense.

01:06:14.000 He made you sign over your will and everything.

01:06:17.000 That was the parts that were bad.

01:06:18.000 But such a professional looking van he had.

01:06:23.000 Did you ever see The Suicide Machine?

01:06:25.000 It looks like he made it with like a bike pump and some bleach.

01:06:28.000 Oh, geez.

01:06:30.000 It's only hurt for about six or seven hours.

01:06:32.000 Yeah, don't worry.

01:06:33.000 It's it's it's kind of like, yeah, it's kind of like the what do you call when they put you on death row and they shoot you with the lethal injection?

01:06:40.000 Yeah, it looks like that, except it took way longer.

01:06:42.000 You got to pedal it yourself.

01:06:44.000 Yeah, it's a peloton.

01:06:47.000 Just keep pedaling until you pass out.

01:06:49.000 Oh, well, good luck, Canada.

01:06:53.000 And, uh, that's it, I think, for today's show.

01:06:56.000 Again, check me out this weekend.

01:06:58.000 I'll be at the Comedy Castle.

01:07:00.000 That's in Detroit, Royal Oak, Detroit, whatever you want to call it.

01:07:02.000 Going back to your roots.

01:07:03.000 Yeah, I'm going back to the club I started in.

01:07:06.000 Nice.

01:07:07.000 I made the mistake of sitting front row with, um, the Pitbull of comedy.

01:07:11.000 What was his name again?

01:07:12.000 That was, uh, yes, Gallagher.

01:07:15.000 No, no, it was, uh, and I can't believe I'm blanking on his name.

01:07:18.000 I can see him.

01:07:19.000 Yeah, his gray hair, uh, very, very vile.

01:07:22.000 Yeah, he talks like that.

01:07:24.000 Every joke is extremely offensive.

01:07:26.000 Yeah, the whole night long my wife and I were Joni and Chachi and he would call back to it.

01:07:32.000 I'm so mad I can't think of his name right now.

01:07:34.000 And I know it too.

01:07:37.000 Look up Pitbull at Comedy.

01:07:38.000 I'm not leaving until we get it.

01:07:40.000 No!

01:07:41.000 People pay for a show, they can listen to us look for stuff.

01:07:45.000 Bobby Slayton.

01:07:46.000 Bobby Slayton.

01:07:47.000 Thank you.

01:07:48.000 Bobby Slayton.

01:07:49.000 Yes, Google him.

01:07:49.000 It's fun for the whole family.

01:07:51.000 Sit around during the holidays to listen to for Christmas.

01:07:53.000 Throw it on the record player.

01:07:55.000 So never tip the Maitre D' to Comedy Club to get you good seats.

01:07:58.000 Don't do it.

01:07:58.000 No.

01:08:00.000 It's best to not be in the very front row.

01:08:02.000 I've always said that.

01:08:03.000 And I'm a comic.

01:08:04.000 I don't mean to, I don't really go at people though.

01:08:06.000 But sometimes.

01:08:09.000 Well, I put a clip up on my, uh, I hate to say it, TikTok, but I got one a couple of weeks ago where I was like, Hey, what, what are those?

01:08:15.000 Uh, the guy was crutches and I didn't know they were.

01:08:17.000 And I go, Oh, did you break something?

01:08:19.000 He goes, no, I have MS. 0.97

01:08:21.000 And I was like, Oh, and then I was like, well, I mean, at least they look cool.

01:08:26.000 And he goes, I guess.

01:08:27.000 And I go, okay, so I guess your compliment taking skills are handicapped as well.

01:08:33.000 And fortunately, he was a fan of the show, so it was fun, but I'm like, I'm gonna just go ahead and walk my way out of this, you know, because I can walk.

01:08:42.000 And it's so fun, because like, Prouder fans get it.

01:08:44.000 You know, they laugh and he's enjoying it and loving it and stuff, so it was fun to play with.

01:08:48.000 But I honestly didn't know what it was.

01:08:51.000 And it turned out to be a sketch of a heckler who was a burn victim.

01:08:55.000 Do me.

01:08:55.000 Yes.

01:08:56.000 Do me.

01:08:56.000 Yeah, the voice.

01:08:59.000 And he's just terrified on stage.

01:09:02.000 Ah.

01:09:03.000 Ah.

01:09:04.000 It burns.

01:09:05.000 It burns.

01:09:06.000 That was such a brilliant start.

01:09:07.000 Because he started crying, right?

01:09:08.000 Yeah, he did.

01:09:09.000 The tears, they burn.

01:09:18.000 Well thank you guys very much for tuning in.

01:09:19.000 We're going to be back tomorrow.

01:09:21.000 Stephen will be back in the big chair, and we will have on, of course, Mr. Alex Jones.

01:09:24.000 I want to thank Crawdaddy.

01:09:26.000 Thank you, Dave.

01:09:26.000 For coming out.

01:09:27.000 I want to thank all you guys for the hard work you do.

01:09:30.000 Ahoy! 0.99

01:09:30.000 Gerald A., of course. 0.99

01:09:32.000 He'll be back.

01:09:33.000 Thank you, Dave.

01:09:34.000 No, thank you.

01:09:36.000 Hugh.

01:09:37.000 Thank you, Dave.

01:09:37.000 Thank you.

Louder with Crowder - December 05, 2022

YE CALLS OUT ELON MUSK FOR BEING A CHINESE CLONE! | Louder with Crowder

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript