Order of Man - FFN 026： The Man in the Arena

00:00:00.000 You're a man. You're committed to the work required to forge your own destiny.

00:00:04.600 Your blood. Your sweat. Your tears.

00:00:07.740 You will not be defeated. You cannot be deterred.

00:00:11.480 Nothing stands between you and the victory you seek.

00:00:14.660 You're a rock. Steadfast, resolute, and unwavering.

00:00:18.420 And, at the end of the day, the job will be done.

00:00:22.480 Welcome to your Friday Field Notes.

00:00:25.040 Men, what is going on today? My name is Ryan Michler,

00:00:27.100 and I am the host and founder of Order of Man.

00:00:29.240 And I want to welcome you back to this 26th episode, believe it or not, of the Friday Field Notes.

00:00:33.420 And this actually marks our 109th episode if you include our interview show.

00:00:38.180 Now, if you're new to the show today, let me just tell you, this is about all things manly.

00:00:41.320 I don't care what we talk about here, but if you're a man and there's something you're dealing with in life,

00:00:45.480 my goal is to bring on an expert, an authority, another man who has this figured out

00:00:49.820 and extract some of his knowledge and wisdom and get it into your hands.

00:00:53.420 So we talk about building better relationships with our family.

00:00:56.040 We talk about getting our health back in order.

00:00:57.800 We talk about making money and career advancements or taking the leap into entrepreneurship.

00:01:02.720 We talk about communication, situational awareness, self-defense, and of course, everywhere in between.

00:01:08.120 Now, if you don't know already, this is our Friday Field Notes, which is my ramblings.

00:01:11.620 It's my thoughts that hit me throughout the week.

00:01:14.060 You're going to want to subscribe, guys, if you have not already,

00:01:16.700 so you never miss this Friday Field Notes or our interview show, which is released each Tuesday.

00:01:21.600 Man, we've had some incredible, incredible interviews over the past several weeks,

00:01:25.080 and we've got some even better ones lined up for the coming weeks.

00:01:27.780 Now, I just want to jump right into the topic today.

00:01:29.760 Lately, I've been receiving some negative feedback from the weaklings of the world,

00:01:33.860 the keyboard warriors, as I affectionately refer to them as.

00:01:36.540 Let me say this first.

00:01:37.340 I am not asking for reassurance from anyone in this podcast.

00:01:40.160 I feel confident enough in what I'm doing that I don't need that.

00:01:43.340 But the reason I want to share this with you is because I know that there's a lot of men out there

00:01:47.260 who let the masses get to them.

00:01:49.160 There is so much negativity lately, and as amazing as social media is,

00:01:54.220 it's given every Tom, Dick, and Harry a platform to voice their opinion.

00:01:57.940 Some of those opinions are legitimate, and others are not.

00:02:01.360 And to make matters worse, it's very easy for certain people to hide behind the mask

00:02:06.060 that social media actually provides.

00:02:08.000 And in all reality, the people who put you down for doing great things,

00:02:12.140 they're not upset at you.

00:02:13.220 They're not upset at me.

00:02:14.480 They're upset that they are not doing great things.

00:02:17.380 And what's even more fascinating is that the naysayers, the men who criticize

00:02:22.620 but aren't really willing to do anything great in their own lives,

00:02:26.560 have been around since the dawn of man.

00:02:29.380 Now, you probably know that I'm a huge fan of Teddy Roosevelt.

00:02:33.000 In fact, I've read some of his writings in previous episodes of our Friday Field Notes.

00:02:36.380 But I wanted to read something else that he's talked about at length.

00:02:39.560 It's titled The Man in the Arena, and it's an excerpt from his speech,

00:02:43.200 Citizenship in a Republic, and that was given in France in 1910.

00:02:46.480 So here goes.

00:02:47.380 It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,

00:02:51.920 or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

00:02:54.540 The credit belongs to the man who's actually in the arena,

00:02:57.280 whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood,

00:03:00.020 who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes up short again and again,

00:03:03.820 because there is no effort without error and shortcoming,

00:03:07.040 but who does actually strive to do the deeds,

00:03:09.780 who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions,

00:03:13.300 who spends himself in a worthy cause,

00:03:15.280 who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,

00:03:19.220 and who at worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly,

00:03:23.540 so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls

00:03:26.740 who neither know victory nor defeat.

00:03:29.980 Of course, I could not have said that any better myself,

00:03:32.740 which is why I defer to Teddy on things like this.

00:03:35.240 So I do want to give you a little bit of insight into my life here for a minute.

00:03:38.640 As I look back at those who criticize the work that I'm doing with Order of Man,

00:03:43.280 and even the noble and the great work that you're doing in your life,

00:03:46.220 it would be difficult, if not impossible, to find someone who is successful

00:03:51.000 and who is also a person who criticizes.

00:03:54.420 I wonder why that is.

00:03:55.860 I wonder why you don't find successful people who criticize.

00:03:58.620 Could it be that the most successful people on the planet

00:04:00.680 don't have time to put everyone down

00:04:03.380 because they're so focused on doing good in their own part of the universe?

00:04:07.080 Look, I've disagreed with people.

00:04:08.920 I don't always see eye to eye with what others are doing.

00:04:11.540 But that's where my concern with that ends.

00:04:14.180 Every single person is entitled to their own opinion.

00:04:16.440 If I run across something I don't like, I move on.

00:04:19.020 Simple as that.

00:04:19.700 I don't have time to play games and put others down.

00:04:22.280 So I want to challenge you a little bit here.

00:04:23.540 I want you to be honest with yourself.

00:04:25.040 Can you honestly say to me that when you see others having success,

00:04:28.340 that you are genuinely happy for them?

00:04:30.680 I know I haven't always been that way.

00:04:32.020 If anything, I was envious of their success.

00:04:34.720 But what I've come to realize is that when other people have success,

00:04:38.580 it lights and it clears the path for me to be a success as well.

00:04:43.660 So only the losers fixate on the negative.

00:04:45.900 And of course, that cycle continues.

00:04:47.920 Winners are too busy winning to worry about negativity.

00:04:51.880 So let's talk about this.

00:04:53.040 Let's talk about some ways that you can deal with those who would criticize

00:04:55.900 and mock and ridicule the quote unquote haters, if you will,

00:04:59.320 which is a term I don't really like.

00:05:00.860 But first and foremost, you can reduce, in my mind,

00:05:03.640 a lot of the negative noise by the strength of your conviction.

00:05:07.760 Those that have conviction about a belief or a cause do not hear the noise.

00:05:12.580 It's not that it's not there.

00:05:13.980 In fact, if anything, it's louder.

00:05:15.740 It's those who are fixated on doing their thing

00:05:18.100 that literally do not hear what the naysayers are actually saying to you.

00:05:22.420 I have a lot of people asking me about negativity

00:05:24.180 or people have stopped being my friend

00:05:26.100 because of the way I've chosen to live my life.

00:05:27.660 Frankly, I don't know.

00:05:28.860 I'm not focused on them, which leads me to my next point.

00:05:31.700 And that's focus.

00:05:32.480 Where is your focus?

00:05:33.620 If you're focused always on the negativity and the hate,

00:05:36.240 it will become more apparent that it's actually there.

00:05:38.820 But if instead you choose to focus on positivity

00:05:41.520 and those people who have your back and want you to succeed,

00:05:45.420 you will drown out a lot of that negativity.

00:05:48.180 Now, of course, you're inevitably going to run into it,

00:05:50.740 especially when you make a stand for something.

00:05:52.240 Another one of my favorites is Winston Churchill.

00:05:54.640 He says, you have enemies.

00:05:55.840 Good.

00:05:56.280 That means you've stood up for something sometime in your life.

00:05:59.120 So if you feel like you have to,

00:06:01.300 that you must engage with the hate,

00:06:03.140 I've made a couple of rules for myself that might help you.

00:06:05.680 The first is I have a one response maximum.

00:06:08.540 If someone says something stupid or ignorant,

00:06:11.020 I allow myself the chance to respond to them once.

00:06:14.600 That's it.

00:06:15.260 Only once.

00:06:16.280 Regardless of what they say back,

00:06:17.640 I refuse to get drawn into an argument.

00:06:19.620 And you cannot have an argument without at least two people.

00:06:23.380 Second, I lighten the mood.

00:06:24.920 Either I'll say something smart ass back to them

00:06:26.520 or I'll make a joke of whatever they're talking about.

00:06:28.400 And surprisingly, I've actually caught people off guard with this

00:06:30.940 and have turned what would be a quote unquote hater

00:06:33.340 or someone who wants to criticize into a fan.

00:06:36.060 And third, don't respond immediately.

00:06:38.920 I found that if I respond quickly to negativity,

00:06:41.000 I say something dumb or I just make it worse.

00:06:43.420 So I try to give myself time.

00:06:45.120 I found that if I give it some time,

00:06:46.560 I usually get too distracted with whatever else I'm going to do

00:06:48.960 that I don't give the hate even another thought.

00:06:51.560 So the bottom line is this.

00:06:52.500 You're going to make enemies in your life.

00:06:53.740 You're going to have people mock you, ridicule you,

00:06:55.660 and they're probably going to spew hate your way.

00:06:57.700 It's a sign that you're making a stand.

00:06:59.700 It's a sign that you're doing something right.

00:07:01.360 But unless those same people are the people

00:07:03.860 who are going to pay my bills and live my life

00:07:06.660 and ensure that I'm a success,

00:07:08.720 I don't give much credibility to the takers of the world. 1.00

00:07:12.180 I'd rather spend my time with the givers,

00:07:13.980 those that provide energy, not take it.

00:07:17.140 Those that believe in the cause I'm fighting for

00:07:19.400 and those that want to take that journey with me.

00:07:22.740 So remember, guys, you are the man in the arena.

00:07:25.980 And unless anyone else is willing to step into the ring

00:07:28.520 and fight alongside you,

00:07:29.980 they are not worth the energy it would take to argue with them.

00:07:33.840 So guys, I look forward to talking with you next week.

00:07:35.740 But until then, be that man in the arena.

00:07:38.220 Do not sit on the sidelines.

00:07:39.580 Do not engage in unproductive and trivial arguments.

00:07:42.580 And above all, become the man you were meant to be.

00:07:45.740 Those are your Friday Field Notes.

00:07:48.260 Now it's time to crush your excuses,

00:07:50.540 own your choices,

00:07:51.780 accept responsibility,

00:07:53.480 and live manfully.

00:07:54.940 Learn how at orderofman.com forward slash field notes.

Order of Man - October 21, 2016

FFN 026： The Man in the Arena

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