Pearl - Catholic Activist Jason Evert Joins Pearl on The Sitdown

00:00:00.080 what's up guys welcome to an episode of the sit down um today i have jason everett coming on our

00:00:05.200 show welcome to the show he is a chastity speaker i mean he actually came to my high school yeah

00:00:10.080 way back in the day good to see you again good to see you you remember me oh yeah you were sitting

00:00:14.000 in the fourth row on the left no way you do not i was like come on no no i forget my own kid's name

00:00:18.800 so no i don't know i don't remember it but i remember the high school yeah so what's the

00:00:22.000 background how long have you guys been doing that uh well i started in college kind of like helping

00:00:27.600 out on youth group retreats and the kids would come up to me and kind of just pour out all the

00:00:31.920 junk that they were going through in terms of just heartbreak and drama and i just realized

00:00:36.080 they had no formation in human love then i did three years of kind of like crisis pregnancy

00:00:40.800 counseling and i just started feeling late like okay i'm meeting a woman and she's getting an

00:00:44.880 abortion in like 45 minutes like why couldn't i met her when she was 15 instead of when she's 24 0.95

00:00:50.000 because maybe if she learned about chastity then she never would have dated this guy and be in this 0.86

00:00:54.160 tough situation so i realized if you really want to save the most unborn babies don't do it in front

00:00:58.640 of an abortion clinic you do it in a high school classroom and so i started just talking and then

00:01:02.560 it snowballed pretty quickly from a classroom you know to a high school to a conference to a stadium

00:01:07.840 and and it's been about a hundred thousand kids a year for the last 27 years straight okay and that's

00:01:13.280 so you basically you go to the high schools and you're trying to get them before they make the

00:01:16.400 poor decisions yeah high school well i mean but i'll get to the high schools and they'll say to

00:01:20.240 to me man i wish i heard you when i was in sixth grade yeah so it's high school college young

00:01:25.120 adults marriage prep sometimes and so do you think it's getting worse then the good is getting better

00:01:31.760 and the bad is getting worse okay and so the rates of sexual activity are continually going down for

00:01:36.800 the last 35 years right more virgins more but the increase in abstinence is not necessarily an

00:01:42.720 increase in virtue right it's the guy saying well i've got porn why do i need a girlfriend right and

00:01:46.960 the girl's saying well you're so hooked on that stuff it's disgusting to me i'm asexual now and

00:01:51.360 so they're not even going on dates well it's also the obesity epidemic right who wants to have sex

00:01:55.920 when you're fat well i mean in my experience talking to high school kids that's not what's

00:02:01.120 motivating anybody to be abstinent or promiscuous okay so the guys are coming to you and saying it's

00:02:07.040 just they're watching porn well they asked the high school students like why because they did

00:02:11.840 a huge survey like is it are you afraid of getting aids you afraid of getting pregnant you know why

00:02:16.480 are you not having sex right and what was interesting is that those reasons of fear of

00:02:20.720 pregnancy and disease was actually at the bottom of the list the number one reply nationwide was

00:02:25.440 it's against my religious and moral values and that's from the high school kids and so there's

00:02:29.840 a there's a good resurgence going there but yeah the one high school guy came he said you know he

00:02:34.080 said i get home from school on friday and i watch 12 hours of porn on saturday then i go to bed and

00:02:38.800 i wake up i watch 12 hours of porn on sunday he said i don't even like it it disgusts me but i

00:02:43.920 don't know how to live without it it's like holy i mean imagine if that guy starts dating some 16

00:02:48.400 year old girl it's just going to be a dumpster fire he has no concept of the difference between

00:02:52.480 love and lust okay well what don't you say though that's sort of because i guess my thing with porn

00:02:58.720 is what are they supposed to do in the meantime when the average age of first marriage is 30.

00:03:02.640 yeah yeah no people get married later and later yeah well what they're supposed to do is actually

00:03:08.560 learn self-mastery and the reason i say that is because if i get married and i don't know how to

00:03:13.520 practice self-control i will never make love to my wife what i'll do is use her body as an outlet

00:03:19.280 for what i think of is my sexual needs and the woman's heart can tell the difference like my 1.00

00:03:24.400 wife was not created to be an outlet i got two daughters they're not supposed to be any man's

00:03:28.880 outlet and so i can't give myself to a woman if i don't have self-control well then don't you think 0.88

00:03:37.440 don't you think though like you don't think sex is a need for men

00:03:41.440 no it's it's a want okay so you would say it's a want yeah it's a great want okay and it's a

00:03:46.080 great thing i mean the sexual urge is a gift of god but it's not a need like oxygen's a need

00:03:50.560 water well then why do men still watch porn if they don't get sex like wouldn't you say based

00:03:55.280 on their actions it's a need because because it's a want like what evidence do you have that it's a

00:04:00.080 want and not a need well nobody's ever died from an absence of porn like i got rid of my porn when

00:04:05.200 i was maybe like 18 years old and i've never gone back i've never been on porn hub i've never gone

00:04:09.600 and only fans never once in my entire life and i'm and and that was long before i got married and i

00:04:14.720 wasn't like getting this pent-up sexual aggression that needs to get released somewhere that is like

00:04:19.520 a repressive neurotic freudian idea of sexual you know sexuality and it's not healthy yeah but don't

00:04:26.240 when you're not i think people kind of roll their eyes at that because half of pastors end up having

00:04:32.880 affairs so even the people that are the most dedicated to their religion you know there's

00:04:37.040 there's the pre-scandal. So it just seems like when you sit, you could say that, but we look

00:04:42.060 at the results and they're still the same where people end up cracking over time. Cause you know,

00:04:47.420 you're, you're lucky you ended up actually getting married. Some guys don't, you know?

00:04:51.200 So what are they supposed to do in the meantime? Well, you're not supposed to use a woman in the 1.00

00:04:55.540 meantime. Well, maybe she's using him. They're both using each other is what I would say. 1.00

00:04:59.500 Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. I just, I never understand why the language with a lot of

00:05:03.300 conservative speakers is that the women are automatically being used when a lot of times

00:05:07.300 the women are predators. Like the women, like you go to a concert, women throw themselves at the 1.00

00:05:11.800 guy. You're on stage, you know. That doesn't happen to me, but I see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, 0.99

00:05:16.600 but you see how women, I mean, change when the guy's on stage. Yeah. So like, why is it always 1.00

00:05:23.220 assumed that the man is the predator and not the woman? No, you make a very fair point. Yeah. And 1.00

00:05:27.340 I'm not going to argue against it because so often it's just like, she's the victim, he's the

00:05:31.980 perpetrator yeah well wait a minute you know maybe she's using him just for a different reason than

00:05:37.220 he's using her yeah and it just gets undercover so i think it needs to get called out is that

00:05:41.500 it's not better because she's agreeing to it now we just have two people agreeing to use each other

00:05:46.480 yeah well because that's really kind of my issue with a lot of the chastity speakers is that you

00:05:51.540 guys use language like the woman is broken and i think it gives women a get out of jail free card

00:05:56.980 where they can just do whatever you want and then be rewarded after yeah no i i don't i think 1.00

00:06:03.680 female accountability is something important needs to be addressed she can't just say well 1.00

00:06:09.080 this happened to her and therefore she can just do whatever the heck she wants i mean that's not 1.00

00:06:13.060 that's not even treating her like a human being because then you're treating her like she lacks

00:06:18.040 free agency that you don't even have to make your own decisions because you've been determined by

00:06:22.180 past yeah so i would be very hesitant to speak of a girl as broken because if i'm going to esteem and

00:06:28.500 loud the goodness of virginity in the same breath i have to also explain but ladies your value 1.00

00:06:33.460 doesn't come from your virginity like your sexuality has value because of you you're the 1.00

00:06:37.700 gift and you still have yourself to give anybody to start over you're not a chewed up piece of gum

00:06:41.860 you know you're not some rose that's been plucked dry and that's your value yeah no you can start

00:06:46.260 over and even if some bad's happened to you that doesn't need to do you understand like you go into

00:06:50.420 the real world then the results will show that you are chewed up to some degree because you are not

00:06:54.740 going to get the same attention from men that you did before after you made certain choices

00:06:59.060 like that's that you could get more attention but it's the wrong attention no but i'm saying

00:07:02.900 like once men view you as a in a certain social community like there will be repercussions

00:07:08.340 yeah i don't think you should care what a man thinks about you if you don't actually love and

00:07:12.420 respect him in the first place yeah but they're the buyers right you have to sell them on marriage

00:07:17.140 yeah but if a guy thinks a woman is a whore to me she's not on sale what i mean by that is you

00:07:22.980 know i try to let the women know that you know some girls like what good guy want a girl like

00:07:27.220 me and it's like well if a guy judges you by his past he's not that good of a guy look for a guy

00:07:31.060 who can actually see your future instead of someone who's always rubbing your nose in your

00:07:34.340 past and me but it's if you've owned it and like you know what i screwed up i messed up yeah some

00:07:40.020 bad stuff happened to me but i made some stupid decisions in the meantime and i realized that's

00:07:43.780 not what i wanted in the first place and i want to start over so i actually believe redemption is

00:07:48.580 possible and if i didn't believe in it my eight kids wouldn't exist today well i'm not against

00:07:53.380 redemption necessarily but i like to be accurate because you never want to sell false hope

00:07:58.900 and there are women that are too damaged um i always say someone will do it if you're thin

00:08:03.460 because if you're fat guys just are not going to do it there's no greater sin than being that's

00:08:08.260 why these porn stars still get married it's the obesity epidemic that's why they get married oh

00:08:12.660 god yeah okay yeah i don't understand the connection that's why because you don't think

00:08:16.500 men want thin women oh i mean obviously men and women would prefer prefer a partner who's fit yeah

00:08:22.260 but you know women are attracted to other things you know we like the guy on stage but are you

00:08:26.100 attracted like these guys though like if you if the same guys same qualities same account bank

00:08:30.580 account one's perfectly in shape and the other's not hey i mean there's a reason there's a reason

00:08:34.980 comedians get right you know what i mean because because comedians are funny so there's other

00:08:40.260 things that men women are attracted to like men aren't attracted to female comedians well there

00:08:44.660 aren't as many like shane gillis isn't conventionally attractive he's got a very attractive

00:08:49.300 girlfriend or yeah you know so well i think humor is often intel an indication of intelligence

00:08:54.260 sometimes yeah which women find attractive because intelligent mates are more likely to 0.99

00:08:57.780 secure provisions yeah they're also more fun to be with yeah correct so those are attractive

00:09:01.300 qualities but all things being the same you prefer fit men we prefer fit women but i know lots of

00:09:06.500 of really happy married couples who are not in great shape and lots of married couples who are

00:09:10.800 in great shape and their marriage is a dumpster fire well yeah because they have more choice

00:09:14.280 right so it's it's it's kind of like when you have no choice when you're fat who's really

00:09:19.200 gonna want to date you when you're fat we're all gonna get fat to some extent you guys you might

00:09:24.880 not me no no what i mean is like when you're when you're 80 when you're 90 and the wrinkles show up

00:09:31.680 and it's a little harder to put off the fat and all that stuff what what comes i'm not planning

00:09:36.840 on getting fat i do crossfit five six days a week i love staying in shape i'm always at the gym

00:09:40.780 yeah we're media we stay thin i love it but at the end of the day when the wrinkles show up and

00:09:46.620 the sex drive drops and my spouse doesn't look like she did on her wedding night then what i'm

00:09:52.000 left with is why did i choose this woman right did i choose her because of the sensual reactions she

00:09:57.000 created in me or because i actually value her as a human person and if you're if you put your

00:10:02.680 stakes in that yeah then you've got a marriage that's gonna last well to me um this sounds nice

00:10:07.480 but men are still attracted to youth and beauty and purity so yeah i think that's kind of selling

00:10:13.240 a dream and i don't like selling dreams so if you lose weight you will have more choice as a woman

00:10:18.200 even more so than virtue that's that's i mean because all the um you know you haven't been

00:10:24.200 out in the field in a while you haven't been dating i don't think right no no i haven't been

00:10:27.560 dating the number one way people are meeting now is online you might say that's wrong or right but

00:10:31.480 that's how it's happening so that's visual yeah no i'm not in the field in the sense that i'm dating

00:10:36.520 but i'm spending every single week in front of high school and college and young adults who are

00:10:40.520 pouring out to me the frustration like i met woman recently she dated she wanted dates with 27 different

00:10:45.960 guys uh-huh 25 of them were hooked on porn and she started just bringing up on the first date

00:10:50.760 is this something that you're into and if they said no if they said yes then there was no second

00:10:55.560 date and she started getting really depressed like am i ever going to find a guy who's just

00:10:59.080 not hooked on porn and she did and she's got an awesome marriage because she didn't want to 0.99

00:11:02.360 compete so she's incentivizing lying no she's incentivizing purity of heart and man not

00:11:08.120 necessarily because if the other guy just lies then boom well he could this is what i mean

00:11:12.040 conservatives we just tend to be naive but the lies will come to the surface yeah eventually

00:11:16.200 right right it's all gonna get but is that really a woman's place to police um her like what her

00:11:21.240 husband's doing it's his job yeah it's his job not hers yeah so like to me that's that's just 1.00

00:11:26.520 gonna be a neurotic woman like we were worried about about what porn but but and at what point 1.00

00:11:31.320 is porn an addiction well one is if it's not so much is it once a day is it once a month is it

00:11:36.360 once a year it's when the compulsion arises do i have the capacity to say no to it and if the answer

00:11:41.000 is no then yeah you got a problem and but but i think we got to realize she's not just picking

00:11:45.320 for her a mate one high school girl said to me said jason i found out my dad looks at porn she

00:11:50.360 said i used to look up to him now i can't even look at him like i thought he was a better man

00:11:53.800 now jason my dad's lusting after girls two years older than i am my mom mom's sleeping in the next

00:11:59.240 room and then she he erases internet history things we don't know kiss my mom goes to work

00:12:03.240 the next day she said it makes me sick how much i resent the guy it creeps me out when he hugs me

00:12:07.880 now and it's like wait how does she know he's watching porn oh all the kids always find out

00:12:13.560 the kids always find out when the boy finds the dad's porn his addiction becomes the son's and

00:12:19.080 when the daughter finds the dad's porn collection she could get hooked or she could just feel

00:12:23.400 completely sexually unsafe but how oh phones internet search histories you name it the kids 0.98

00:12:29.000 always find the junk uh-huh and so i think a woman has a duty to protect her children from okay well 1.00

00:12:34.760 i mean that's okay that's fine but then we do we have the same energy for women's addiction to 0.99

00:12:38.440 social media because that's far worse well absolutely worse you're putting a woman a wife

00:12:43.720 more common more common and more ramifications i mean you're putting a wife on you know porn can

00:12:49.240 be useful in certain instances what if the man's deployed right how's what if uh because

00:12:55.480 if he's deployed what do you want him to cheat i i would disagree with you faithful well yeah

00:13:00.200 and this is where i think cheating i disagree i disagree okay i think i think it's a tool and i

00:13:05.800 i don't really like the idea of men policing what other men do in their house so like to me to me

00:13:12.200 if like there's situations where it's useful for men can you build out wedding vows where we include

00:13:19.080 porn in the vows somehow i mean are we going to include social media where women market themselves

00:13:22.920 to other men no no no that's part of fidelity yeah but the church is they don't chastise women that

00:13:29.400 have opened social media accounts but you guys have you know we keep hearing about all this

00:13:33.720 porn addiction and it's like well where is the energy for the women um you're marketing yourself

00:13:38.760 to other men well the women are looking at porn too right i mean not as much and worse

00:13:43.960 worse porn far more violent you know and so they're looking at it and to me it's not like

00:13:48.360 who's worth the other it's it's all bad i'm cheating on my wife if i'm turning away from her

00:13:54.040 to find satisfaction in the body of another woman it's not like i promise to be true to you except

00:13:58.520 for my eyeballs and i'll be faithful to you except my imagination and i won't have an affair with you

00:14:02.920 unless it's with 3 000 women online it's like that's not fidelity okay well i think that's

00:14:07.720 teaching women to be kind of neurotic you know you're gonna you're gonna want police his search

00:14:12.120 history but but that's like buying a car so that's completely out of order fidelity isn't an upgrade 0.80

00:14:17.640 it's a standard package it's like if i sold you a car and i'm like wait you want tires

00:14:21.800 and wheels oh that's the premium upgrade package for 10. i'll put it like this

00:14:25.720 you do you agree that we shouldn't force women to have sex in marriage we would agree yeah yeah

00:14:31.160 marital rape is a real thing okay we agree creates a lot of virginity okay so what is

00:14:36.280 he supposed to do if she will not sleep with him for years and that's common okay it does happen

00:14:41.720 and i whenever i talk to college kids i i tell them abstinence is going to be a part of your

00:14:47.560 marriage and for some of you heroic seasons of abstinence are going to be demanded of you in

00:14:53.000 marriage and the example i give a friend of mine his marriage is going great for a long time and

00:14:57.960 And then his wife started having the flashbacks of the abuse that she had suffered as a little girl in that way.

00:15:03.140 And she told him, honey, I need to go to counseling.

00:15:04.840 I need to kind of sort through some stuff.

00:15:06.040 In the meantime, I just can't do this just right now.

00:15:08.320 I just need a little time because it's just bringing back a lot of stuff.

00:15:10.800 And good husband, totally understood.

00:15:12.160 I can show love to you in other ways.

00:15:13.440 And a week of abstinence went by and then a month and then two, three, four, five, six months.

00:15:16.960 And he's really wrestling with God about this.

00:15:18.980 Like, God, I didn't sign up for this.

00:15:20.560 And Jesus is like, well, you did.

00:15:22.300 Good times, bad, sickness and health.

00:15:23.660 But he felt like such less of a man because his bride was frigid to him in the bedroom.

00:15:29.000 But he realized that he had a broken notion of masculinity,

00:15:31.980 that by staying on this kind of cross of sacrifice for her,

00:15:34.800 he was becoming more a man to her than any man had ever been in her life.

00:15:38.180 But imagine if he didn't know that his abstinence could be an expression of love,

00:15:41.800 and he got pouty, petulant, whiny, distant, angry, and unfaithful,

00:15:45.760 and addicted to porn because he couldn't get his needs met.

00:15:48.260 His wound would have infected hers.

00:15:50.280 But he was healed through this process in his idea of masculinity,

00:15:53.260 and his wife was healed too they got a stronger marriage than ever before and so to me a woman

00:15:58.960 who is in porn who has probably a very very broken life you'd agree is not something to be used not

00:16:05.360 broken she's having a great time she's enjoying it she's having fun well i mean i've talked to

00:16:10.420 them one i know quit after her fourth abortion um many i know were sexually abused prior to going

00:16:15.600 into the industry and they act like i'm having the best time ever yeah they have very high rates of

00:16:19.940 Suicide, depression, alcoholism.

00:16:22.000 Yeah, because there's consequences later,

00:16:24.240 but during it, they enjoy having sex on camera.

00:16:26.040 They like the money.

00:16:26.900 They like the money. 0.96

00:16:27.900 They like having sex on camera.

00:16:29.280 It's not broken. 1.00

00:16:29.740 And they're using men.

00:16:30.160 It's not, yeah.

00:16:31.200 But they're using men from the other side of the camera.

00:16:33.700 I mean, you could say that, yeah.

00:16:34.940 Of course they are.

00:16:35.160 But they just, they enjoy the attention.

00:16:36.780 Yeah.

00:16:37.200 I mean, attention, that's what I mean with the porn stars. 0.78

00:16:40.460 Like, they have an attention addiction. 1.00

00:16:42.860 A lot of times, social media can be a porn pipeline for women. 1.00

00:16:46.100 A lot of, like, women, I started on TikTok. 0.99

00:16:48.140 A lot of the women I thought, like there's a girl I knew, she did travel content.

00:16:54.520 And then, you know, social media, I think being in it, there's a lot of ups and downs.

00:16:59.000 Sometimes you make a lot of money, sometimes you make none.

00:17:01.140 And if you're not smart, a lot of times during the downs, they know they'll make a lot of

00:17:05.000 money again if they start an OnlyFans.

00:17:08.320 And like I've seen women I used to make content with, like they're on OnlyFans now, so they're 1.00

00:17:14.740 totally doing it for the money. 1.00

00:17:16.140 Or they just like being naked on camera. 1.00

00:17:17.900 girls are like that no i mean i can't speak to their intentions but i can tell you they're not

00:17:21.840 joyful they're not happy when there's consequences yeah but that's kind of that's what i have an 0.99

00:17:26.520 issue with this like hoe to church pipeline that we have because it just takes away the consequence 0.93

00:17:32.400 okay like you now there's you know it started with the chastity speakers and now we have porn stars 0.94

00:17:38.920 that are on stage and they're we're doing this like hoe to church pipeline what's the incentive 1.00

00:17:43.720 to be good if we keep rewarding the women that are bad to me you've already suffered the consequence 0.92

00:17:49.080 of it no because of the the well what what should the i guess the better way to put it what should

00:17:53.840 the consequence be like is she in like forever time out like yeah i i i think once you've done

00:18:00.120 porn you have forfeited uh the ability to go into marriage that is not fair to a man how about a 0.93

00:18:04.440 woman who had an open social media account was totally checked out from her own marriage then

00:18:08.400 got her junk together and now wants to stand on stage to tell women hey you can't do that stuff 0.73

00:18:12.980 that I used to do, because it's going to be toxic to your marriage. 1.00

00:18:15.400 Should we give her a platform? 0.57

00:18:16.740 No, I think that's a brag.

00:18:17.680 It's like I got my cake, and I got to have my cake and eat it too, and now I'm bragging

00:18:22.700 and throwing it in your face.

00:18:23.560 But who gets to preach then?

00:18:24.760 Only the people who don't have a story?

00:18:26.400 I'm just like, I was perfect, be like me.

00:18:27.860 Okay, I'll put it in this way.

00:18:30.200 I would prefer that, actually.

00:18:31.560 I totally would prefer, because I think there's got to be standards for the people that we

00:18:36.920 have on stage, otherwise it turns into a clown show.

00:18:39.040 That's what I was telling you earlier.

00:18:40.000 you know if you just let anyone represent christianity and conservatism then it's just

00:18:45.500 going to turn people off the number one reason people leave the church is hypocrisy because

00:18:48.720 i don't want to be lectured by a porn star yeah you have given up the right to lecture me well

00:18:53.280 you've given up yes yes actually correct once you've done porn you sit in the back of the

00:18:59.120 church forever what about murder i would love yes okay so paul shouldn't have written first

00:19:04.240 Corinthians, love is patient. Love is kind. Yeah. I'm not that religious. How about David?

00:19:09.420 How about all the Psalms? He was a murderer. He was an adult. I don't know. I don't want to hear

00:19:13.000 from him. And he wrote the whole book of Psalms. No, I don't want to hear from him. Paul, there

00:19:16.200 goes half the New Testament. Yeah, I guess it's gone. I'll be consistent here. No, once you've

00:19:21.240 done certain life choices, I don't want to hear from you. I'd rather hear from the people that

00:19:24.700 did it personally. And I'm not sure that the other thing too is I don't think that a porn star is the

00:19:30.660 same thing as paul and we got to stop giving these because you know what i interview these women and

00:19:34.860 they literally think they're paul they literally think when you say stuff like that they take this 0.51

00:19:39.560 yeah and they they use it to lecture everybody and then we all get tortured now are you a hypocrite

00:19:44.720 because your past is different than your present or because your preaching is different than your

00:19:50.080 present i would love i would love there to be a penance period of like 20 years okay so i need

00:19:57.000 i need you need the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior so even when you

00:20:01.160 were talking about not judging a woman on their past i think that's stupid you have to judge

00:20:05.000 people on their past now if you have a stand like if the woman went to church and didn't talk for 0.65

00:20:10.440 10 years yeah stood in the back had a lot of humility had her kids got married did all that

00:20:15.480 and then started talking yeah i still wouldn't like it but i'd respect it a little more but what

00:20:21.080 about porn for guy like i struggled with all that growing up i finally got rid of it when i was like

00:20:25.240 18 yeah when should i be allowed to tell guys hey this is like smoking five packs of cigarettes a

00:20:31.480 day it ain't gonna turn out well you don't need the scar tissue ditch this stuff learn self-mastery

00:20:36.920 so you can really look at a woman rightly when can i start speaking on that i would never would

00:20:41.720 never speak on it never never so if you've looked at porn you know not even the porn it's just you

00:20:46.680 guys grew up in a different time you got you would you got married at what 25 i was 26 27 26 27 that's

00:20:53.640 getting pushed to 30 35 it's not realistic to tell people to wait that long and the other 0.55

00:20:58.680 issue is most men don't have the choice to get married because most women don't want average men

00:21:02.840 but the longer i waited for my you know i got married as a virgin yeah and as the years went

00:21:07.000 on i didn't become more and more just neurotic and waiting to explode yeah i learned okay i need to

00:21:13.000 stay away from this stuff hang out with the right people you know avoid place i want to make major

00:21:16.840 mistakes and yeah and it's not this like neurotic explosion that's awaiting to take place yeah

00:21:22.600 that's not healthy yeah i mean it sounds nice but again if if this was something natural the more

00:21:28.760 people could do it but what's the alternative um is the alternative i can't say no to my desires

00:21:35.400 and then thank goodness i get a wife and now she can be my outlet when i'm bored and lonely and

00:21:39.240 angry and stressed and tired um the alternative is well i don't have an alternative because the 0.59

00:21:44.120 world's going the way it's going unfortunately women aren't gonna get married um the average

00:21:48.120 age is going to go up um and feminism is basically you could swing back no i've been you guys been

00:21:53.720 selling that and i'm i was the teenager i listened to not just i don't know if you said that in

00:21:58.440 particular but i conservative media sell that to me for like 10 15 years and it's there's no

00:22:04.600 indication it's going back because um there's more sex workers than ever it's like all the trad wife

00:22:10.920 stuff quarter yeah a quarter of women have an std um the obesity rates high like it's not it's not

00:22:16.440 not coming back if you go to any church i go to these churches i do the interviews even if you go

00:22:20.940 to churches it's single men and the young women fawning over the guy on stage so that's it yeah

00:22:26.440 it's never what about like this whole trad wife thing going on do you see that is maybe some

00:22:31.300 people saying hey i have a biological clock i don't need to find my fulfillment in corporate

00:22:35.620 america it's a marketing it's marketing sourdough bread and have chickens it's just it's marketing

00:22:40.600 okay so i mean did you see sarah stock you're catholic right i'm catholic but i don't know

00:22:45.340 there's um there's okay there's a really famous one okay um and she did what you guys were saying

00:22:50.380 she said i'm waiting till marriage i'm doing the right thing and this young man um he signed up

00:22:55.740 for it he said yay i found the girl in the flower dress and they got their marriage blessed by the

00:23:00.780 pope oh well okay and then you know what happened after she was cheating with her boss okay because 0.95

00:23:05.900 when women tend to make men wait for sex they're not that attracted to them and they tend to pick 0.72

00:23:10.860 a guy that they're more attracted to later so if they love if they lack self-control when do women 0.93

00:23:17.020 ever have self-control i mean look at what we're living in no it's it's a decision i mean you have 0.74

00:23:21.500 just as much capacity for self-control as a man i wish well we could say capacity but there's no

00:23:26.940 there's consequences for men not women okay yeah okay so like now we have the society like what's

00:23:32.860 the incentive for self-control no no i mean i won't argue with you on that point because i think

00:23:37.180 a lot of times guys get killed on stuff but it's not politically correct to call out a woman on

00:23:41.820 you know what are you bringing to the table and if anyone says that they're misogynists so people

00:23:45.580 i think you should start i want to inspire you i think you should go to these high schools right

00:23:50.460 and you should start saying that no no we we were talking about it yeah i lead these wilderness

00:23:55.260 backpacking retreats for like single young adults and we were sitting on the campfire discussing

00:23:59.660 okay what is a guy's job to bring to a marriage yeah and what's the woman's job to bring to the

00:24:03.500 the marriage and it was real easy to say the guy does this this this this yeah and then when it

00:24:07.240 came time to discuss okay what's the woman's role within her marriage what what came to the surface

00:24:12.080 is that the kind of the art of being a wife has been lost okay and and they they weren't quite 0.54

00:24:18.380 sure because they've been raised in all this feminism of like we don't even need a man we

00:24:22.560 don't need this stuff and then at time to come to the table like how do i relate to him how do we

00:24:27.060 build a marriage together like what am i bringing to the table they wanted to know but honestly

00:24:31.820 we're having trouble putting the finger on exactly what it was. So I think there needs

00:24:35.220 to be renewal. What would you tell them? Uh, I mean, what should, what should men get out of

00:24:40.260 marriage? Well, the, the, the, the most important thing you get out of marriage is, is a wife who 0.93

00:24:44.900 is hopefully your best friend, who's true to you and faithful to you and can be your biggest

00:24:48.880 cheerleader. And you guys can kind of build the business of a marriage together and that you

00:24:52.840 could be your teammate, your number one ally, your source of strength and consolation, your lover,

00:24:57.660 your friend i mean if you had to i mean people use that phrase like cheaper to keeper in terms of a

00:25:02.860 wife oh yeah and i've heard that and part of me is like well part of me wants to say no no no but

00:25:07.740 part of me wants to say well yeah because like if i had to outsource the labor of my wife to

00:25:12.940 independent contractors i'd have to hire like an uber driver a chef a housekeeper an interior

00:25:19.900 designer a dental hygienist a veterinarian a clinical child psychologist you know a judge a

00:25:25.580 parole officer a lover and that's like that's a lot of 1099 forms i'd have to fill out for now 0.89

00:25:30.140 you just need to get an au pair they're not paid that much yeah you know and she might not do it's

00:25:34.060 like it's like 20 an hour my my sister works at a daycare they're not paid much well to do all 0.98

00:25:39.740 those tasks and granted she's not going to do them all perfectly nannies do yeah but but i don't want

00:25:45.180 a live-in nanny i i want a companion yeah but the issue is like they're not getting that anymore

00:25:51.740 but i think that's the church has a role to do that even if it's not very politically correct to

00:25:55.980 do yeah this is part of the formation in human love and marriage preparation that hasn't been

00:26:00.860 happening i mean marriage preparation needs to start like 10 years sooner instead of going to

00:26:05.260 some engaged counter weekend before your wedding and that's like triage do you believe that men

00:26:10.060 should get obedience from their wives well when the new testament talks about wives submit your

00:26:15.420 husbands obey but there are two greek words is my understanding obey is used for slaves and masters

00:26:22.780 and parents and children but that word obey in the greek is not used for husband wife the you

00:26:28.220 the greek word used for husband wife is submit and in the latin it's submissio come under the mission

00:26:33.740 of the husband what's the mission of the husband husbands love your wife as christ loved the church

00:26:38.700 and if i'm doing that i can't see many women who have a problem coming under that mission but guys

00:26:43.260 aren't living out their mission women aren't it's just this endless what do you mean heads

00:26:47.260 you talk to married couples you do endlessly i get the emails what are you talking about

00:26:52.140 women don't listen for no reason all the time i grew up in a catholic area the why the standard

00:26:57.580 is them not listening that is the norm for no reason at all you'll have a good husband sorry 0.99

00:27:03.100 you will have a great husband that does everything right and the wife still won't listen yeah so to 0.58

00:27:07.500 act like it's because the the husband isn't following that's not true there's the husbands

00:27:11.820 that do everything right and the wife doesn't listen no you're true so like what then yeah i

00:27:17.500 think a lot of that happens to be her upbringing of she saw independence as a survival technique

00:27:23.180 technique and i need i can't have any man control me or i'm gonna lose my freedom and i'll get taken

00:27:28.140 advantage of and so i'm gonna just lose my freedom wait say that again that i'll lose my freedom if

00:27:34.300 i let a man tell me what to do because there's a distrust at the core of that right right yeah

00:27:39.340 that's probably she's living out of a wound it's not to you know dismiss any accountability she

00:27:44.140 has in it but it's like okay where's she coming from with this mentality yeah if i trust this man

00:27:48.540 i've given my life to that he's going to take advantage of me there's a trust wound there

00:27:52.380 that is not getting addressed and so she's living out of that wound that place of brokenness but i

00:27:57.660 don't even think it's that i think it's selfishness and i get like we keep going selfishness and

00:28:01.660 brokenness and i don't think this is like i don't think that's helpful to hear as a woman because

00:28:07.500 it's like when we don't want to listen it's because we want what we want and it's hard like

00:28:12.540 that's the hard part of being in a relationship or being married is doing what he wants to do

00:28:16.860 instead of you going to school where he like like one that is really common is sending the kids like 0.96

00:28:22.060 she wants the more expensive school he wants the cheapest women like spending money right

00:28:25.660 so it's about 80 yeah 85 yeah and so you get these um that's not him not following god it's

00:28:32.140 like let's save money for college yeah yeah you know and that's um because like yeah i just

00:28:37.900 disagree with that i don't think it's like the husband not following god most of the time it's

00:28:41.980 it's it's a i think it's a combination of factors and sometimes it's 90 this and 10 that yeah but

00:28:46.780 i've heard women say who are living this out wow it was really freeing when i just finally let him

00:28:52.700 take the lead yeah and like if things go south well yeah he has extreme ownership hey i made a

00:28:57.580 bad call on that one yeah and she just felt like wow i'm really relaxed now that i'm actually

00:29:01.740 letting him take the lead instead of trying to be the neck that's turning the head endlessly it's an

00:29:06.300 unhealthy that phrase i'm the neck that's the dumbest phrase i've ever heard it's a very unhealthy

00:29:11.100 dynamic it's manipulative its core and it seeps even into sexuality where she'll begin to use

00:29:16.380 sexuality as a reward and punishment to control to you know manipulate and there's a lot of healing

00:29:22.300 but isn't it kind of the same thing when you say like so like aren't you teaching women to

00:29:28.940 distrust men by saying the children can obey the parents and we're supposed to trust the parents

00:29:32.940 but the wife can't obey the husband and because submit i mean it's submit obey what's really the

00:29:39.420 difference well there's i think there's a world of difference between the two in terms of women

00:29:43.820 want there to be because then we'd have to listen that'd be way too hard well we'll submit is to

00:29:48.220 still they stand underneath the authority of the mission of the other so there's still a hierarchy

00:29:52.620 that he's the head of the church the domestic church the family and he's calling the shots

00:29:57.180 and she should follow his lead in love that he's setting the pace of self-giving love

00:30:01.740 and she's falling that's the ideal is it the norm no oh god no no obey like what is that sound that

00:30:09.260 sounds like obey to me well if you're under his mission if you're under your boss's mission he

00:30:14.060 says do something you do it well it isn't a slave master parent like my child is not or my wife is

00:30:19.020 not my possession like a master slave kind of thing it's not god white guys please please be 0.93

00:30:25.020 be you know they all torture us these catholic women they torture everybody because the husbands 0.86

00:30:31.340 don't tell them no i wish it was like that that'd be amazing yeah no no because a lot of times 1.00

00:30:36.560 speaking from a husband's perspective i entered into marriage and i never saw my parents fight

00:30:41.220 ever not once in their 50 plus year marriage yeah and that was an awesome gift it really was yeah

00:30:46.140 but it was also a handicap because i never saw conflict resolution unfold of like well how do

00:30:51.000 you deal with this when you start butting heads and so i started especially early on in marriage

00:30:55.380 seeing peace as the goal like we need to keep peace because that's where i'm at i'm used to

00:30:59.800 seeing a lot of peace i want to make peace yeah but that leads to a lot of capitulation of just

00:31:03.760 like well let's just let everybody have what they want so we can have peace but it's a false peace

00:31:08.100 and so as i started to mature more as a husband it's like it's like things get pent up is that

00:31:12.400 what you mean yeah well they get pent up and you just look look the other way sometimes it's like

00:31:16.360 because i'm gonna have to address some hard things and it's gonna create some tension it's gonna

00:31:20.120 to create problems and so you know crystal and i are very open like we don't have an easy marriage

00:31:24.740 we bond to marriage counseling a ton in a marriage we don't have a clue we don't because we just got

00:31:29.380 married like 23 years ago and so we're like still figuring it out we were in council a while back

00:31:33.540 and the council was you know jason i want you to start using i feel statements instead of you know

00:31:38.660 you statements and i'm like okay well i feel so i was like okay i feel she is wrong and he's like

00:31:43.240 no no that's not what you're supposed to do like so like we don't really know how to communicate

00:31:46.400 we're totally trying to figure it out i would tell the counselor to go himself

00:31:52.240 how is he going to tell another man how to talk in his house what he's trying to say

00:31:55.840 teach me to say something that she'll understand what is the counselor now no he's gonna he's

00:32:00.400 gonna tell you the best way to do it good man it's been super helpful but i've got if she's

00:32:05.200 submitting to you they're your rules so it's like why who is he to tell you what your rules are well

00:32:10.320 it's the question of what will actually enable her to hear what it is i'm saying instead of

00:32:15.360 going on the defensive so i'm not instead of coming to her at her i'm coming to her the only 0.99

00:32:20.000 thing women respond to is power telling you it's if there's no consequence nothing so they wouldn't 1.00

00:32:27.680 respond to to love oh god no are you kidding me no oh my god no because sometimes how you give 1.00

00:32:34.480 this is how this is how we all get tortured because the woman is a right and they're like 0.60

00:32:38.480 just love her instead of saying just shut the up okay please and then we all get tortured so would 1.00

00:32:43.920 that work so if my wife were upset about something i did legitimately she's got a legitimate grievance 1.00

00:32:49.600 i can just tell her to shut up as opposed i wish more i wish more men would because then the wives 0.97

00:32:54.960 go and torture everybody yeah yeah well i i think he's got to be able to shoot straight with her

00:32:59.760 obviously yeah and not make peace the highest goal but in the same respect sometimes you can

00:33:04.880 de-escalate a you know a situation with more mercy and kindness than you can with a hammer

00:33:11.360 i wish that were true sometimes it works sometimes yeah yeah and sometimes it doesn't

00:33:16.080 and it's just like i would tell that counselor to hell no no i i always says i've got a lot to learn

00:33:22.320 as a husband and i've been i i do and you get married thinking you got it all together and then

00:33:27.680 three weeks in you're like i'm a jerk like i really i'm not forgiving i'm not a very patient

00:33:32.000 person because you don't even know what you have until it's tested what do you mean you're not a 0.52

00:33:35.200 patient person?

00:33:36.500 Well, I remember we were my wife, I would have mattress

00:33:39.300 store with the kids and the kids were having a blast jumping on

00:33:41.800 mattress off, we get to the cash register. And the guys like all

00:33:45.520 frazzled, just seeing our kids bouncing all over the place. And

00:33:47.920 he could tell we were kind of stressed. And he's like, whoa,

00:33:50.260 he says, like, he said, I'm a really patient person because I

00:33:52.960 have no kids. Yeah, I laugh. I'm like, well, that's saying you

00:33:56.680 have a lot of endurance because you don't run marathons. It's

00:33:59.320 like you don't know what you have until it's tested. And so

00:34:01.580 marriage will bring all your junk to the surface, like oil 0.98

00:34:04.600 than water, right? You think you're merciful, you think 0.91

00:34:07.160 you're forgiving, you think you're loving, you think you're

00:34:09.140 patient, and then your wounds get pressed on and you realize

00:34:12.700 ow, you know, I need a lot of healing in this area in my own

00:34:16.540 life. I do your patient now. No, it's a work in progress.

00:34:22.420 After 20. Really? Not now? Oh, I got a ways to go. Yeah. What do

00:34:27.040 you got to do? 0.99

00:34:29.020 I measure with my wife, if I'm growing in love with her by my

00:34:32.840 quickness to forgive that to me is the measurement that i'm actually growing in love with her not

00:34:36.980 is she more attractive i mean she's gorgeous i mean she's beautiful but that i mean she stayed

00:34:41.260 thin that's how she's able to pull it off well she said if she was fat if she said if you met 1.00

00:34:47.140 her and she was fat you wouldn't have seen her there's no way in the delivery room with her when

00:34:51.140 she weighed far more than i did and i didn't stop loving her no but i'm saying like in the beginning

00:34:55.700 because men get you guys get wife goggles you always see them the same actually it's kind of 0.98

00:34:59.420 cute she was yeah thinner when I dated her than when I met her I fell in love with her when I 1.00

00:35:03.380 would when I met her but she was never fat no I mean I've seen her when I was in her she's

00:35:08.960 she's a beautiful woman and I'm not gonna argue that that's like all from the beginning that 1.00

00:35:12.380 should be the first thing in chastity stay thin ladies well I mean but but at the end of the day 0.71

00:35:17.240 that's not going to keep you together because if it's like the Ed Sheeran stupid song it'll help

00:35:21.740 I'm in love with the shape of you well that'll work out real well well so bad you're in love with

00:35:25.940 her okay every woman's got a shape it's you can that's repeatable okay so men don't even get the 0.92

00:35:32.820 thin wife in marriage well it'd be great if they do but the fact is that your body is a 1.00

00:35:38.720 the body's a repeatable thing if i fall in love with a woman's body someone else is always going 0.92

00:35:43.100 to have a better body but if i fall in love with who she is as a human being that can never be i 1.00

00:35:47.500 get to keep that forever body could go up and down pregnancy miscarriage this that that that that but

00:35:52.060 But if I've got the value of the person, you've got something that could last.

00:35:55.300 If I hang my coat on the shape of her body, good luck with that one. 1.00

00:35:59.180 And the marriage rate is just going to keep going down because women are big fat slut 1.00

00:36:03.060 whores in this society. 1.00

00:36:04.460 So if men are going to fall in love with who we are as people, it's just not going to be

00:36:08.820 good.

00:36:09.820 Who's more obese in America, males or females?

00:36:12.660 The reason, they misinterpret that statistic.

00:36:15.680 On paper, it looks like both.

00:36:17.000 Isn't it like 40% roughly? 1.00

00:36:19.000 it looks like 50 50 but it's actually worse to women when you include visceral fat which is

00:36:24.120 and like the other thing is men that have high difference yeah it's i'm just pretty into like

00:36:28.600 fitness okay so i don't really accept the excuse of having kids and getting fat because i know you

00:36:33.720 can't lose the weight so that's a choice oh you can i mean there's women like crossfit gym doing

00:36:37.960 double unders nine months pregnant i mean fitness is a choice so i don't think the coddling is like

00:36:42.920 helpful like it's women stay thin that's it no no i don't want to cuddle anyone i just want to point

00:36:48.040 out to young people calorie deficit if you're marrying her because of what she looks like yeah 0.87

00:36:52.920 you could marry miss universe but if she is not a virtuous woman you will have a miserable life 0.85

00:36:57.240 i totally agree but you know people are just going to look at you and say well you got a thin wife

00:37:02.920 so like who are you to say tell them they can't have that i'm blessed because of what my wife

00:37:07.400 looks like but they say that the beauty on the outside never gets into the soul but the beauty

00:37:11.640 of the soul reflects itself upon the face yeah and so she's got to have to me the beauty of the soul

00:37:16.920 or this thing's going to implode i know but men are getting neither so they might as well get the

00:37:20.920 hot chick well how long is it going to last if that's what you chose it's not working either

00:37:25.480 way i look at divorce filings and like if anything the conservatives are worse one of the worst um

00:37:30.680 divorces i ever saw was from michael noltz church okay so like there's and it's because the incentive

00:37:35.880 structure the more you have homemakers the more money they can take so okay yeah so even if they

00:37:41.800 go for the like quote-unquote virtuous woman there's no guarantee it's because she has no 0.59

00:37:45.480 side separate income stream when they go through the divorce courts it just all comes out of his 0.99

00:37:49.160 is that what it is well she can put them on lifetime alimony in a lot of states isn't that

00:37:53.240 like 10 of all divorce cases there's alimony that's still high yeah if you're part of the 10 0.76

00:37:58.600 i've interviewed men that can't retire now yeah but but aren't women like twice as likely to fall

00:38:03.800 into poverty after divorce women make 85 of consumer spending decisions so it's because 0.99

00:38:09.400 women make poor financial choices okay yeah so they don't realize how much their husbands do for

00:38:14.600 them i'm sure you help with the budget and the spending yeah it's amazing my thing um yeah i 1.00

00:38:19.560 know um i just can imagine so like i'm from one to ten and like all the girls have amazon packages

00:38:26.520 none of the boys do it's just women are horrible with money yeah because it's hard it's easier for

00:38:30.920 us to get yeah all i have to do is talk for a living that's easy i mean i know some couples 0.99

00:38:35.080 are different like she's the finance person and he's kind of the less brutal person 85 it's not

00:38:40.520 So that's why they're more likely to go into poverty.

00:38:43.160 It's not because maybe she stayed at home for 25 years at a stay-at-home mom, doesn't have a degree or career, and then he has an affair with the secretary, and now she's got no job and is getting $400 a month in child support?

00:38:55.860 No. Nowadays, to be honest, there's a lot of opportunity for women that know how to be wives and mothers because women don't want to raise their kids. 0.94

00:39:03.200 so like my sister works at a daycare um she and she has no skills so imagine if she like actually 1.00

00:39:09.360 had a family before um you can uh there's nannies all the time like if you go into rich areas they

00:39:14.080 all have nannies so you don't think there's any legitimacy to the fact that he's had a job for

00:39:18.240 25 years to build up his professional career he's bringing in six figures she's staying at home

00:39:23.120 doing all the domestic tasks the thing implodes for whatever reason we're not gonna say whose

00:39:27.360 fault it is now where are they at career wise following a divorce he's in a much stronger

00:39:32.640 financial position than she is objectively no matter how they spend money you're assuming she 0.98

00:39:36.720 would have had a good career most women fail well she could she could have had a career she would

00:39:42.720 have had 25 years focused on one thing i mean i look at my own family my sister's extremely 1.00

00:39:48.400 successful professionally you know and and she's got kids and a husband so like i know women are

00:39:53.680 capable with they're not maybe she has a wife you know i don't know like someone's who has to watch

00:39:57.760 the kids it's usually they're a nanny daycare oh no husband's successful as well well then who's

00:40:02.240 who's doing it who's watching the kids oh she's she's able to work from home a lot too so okay

00:40:07.040 found a way to work it out so yeah you usually usually they outsource it yeah i just yeah yeah

00:40:11.920 which is not not ideal obviously yeah yeah because but it's like it's kind of just saying you can do

00:40:16.960 it all but you can't yeah so but the going back to the the alimony no i don't think you're entitled

00:40:22.160 to a man's money i think you should be grateful that he allowed you to stay home and are you

00:40:26.320 you entitled in the future no you made a choice you didn't have to make that choice yeah no you

00:40:31.740 made a choice you're responsible for your choices it's a risk and the man's responsible i think for

00:40:36.220 his as well and knowing what the current divorce laws are yeah which are not in his favor correct

00:40:40.840 yeah he gets married he's knowing okay this is a gamble this is going to be a risk that's why he

00:40:46.000 a lot of guys i don't think trust their own judgment abilities and are just afraid to give

00:40:50.040 it a shot right because women change after marriage she could change for the worse and he could change

00:40:55.360 or not change? Like, I think what he says, women often change when he wants her to stay the same.

00:40:59.920 And he does not change when she wants him to.

00:41:02.400 Yeah. Well, why would you marry a man you want to change?

00:41:04.400 Well, girls are notorious at doing that. 1.00

00:41:06.160 Yeah, it's terrible. 1.00

00:41:06.720 Missionary dating.

00:41:07.520 Yeah. 0.91

00:41:07.840 She's gonna fix him and rehabilitate him. It's like a home makeover TV show

00:41:11.440 kind of thing where she falls in love with an investment property because she sees the

00:41:14.640 potential behind it. Oh, I know there's some red flags. You know, I know he has this habit

00:41:18.720 and that habit and, you know, and his friends call him El Chapo. But like, you know, I can fix

00:41:22.400 them and then he get married and turn a project the person into a project and it doesn't work out

00:41:26.960 yeah correct correct yeah correct um yeah because you can't be just nagging a guy yeah and like

00:41:32.000 telling like would you agree that it's not a wife's place to nag her husband or tell him what to do

00:41:36.160 100 okay but in the same respect she should be able to be straightforward and honest with him

00:41:40.960 about like honey if you're gonna go look at your porn hub stuff you know i need you to know that

00:41:46.560 it's very hard for me to respect you as a man and if you need these sexual whatever's for me

00:41:50.880 you know I know we got married but it's really kind of hard for me to be into it when you want

00:41:57.040 to use my body to lust after these women in your imagination I think she can shoot straight with

00:42:01.420 that guy and if she's incapable of shooting straight in a respectful and loving way I don't

00:42:05.740 think they even have a marriage to begin with so let me get this straight let's say he's military

00:42:10.780 hard job in society oh yeah and she can't respect him because he watches porn sometimes

00:42:20.680 he's not respecting himself that's ridiculous he's not respecting women that's ridiculous

00:42:25.240 respect isn't something you demand it's something in my opinion your lifestyle should merit yeah

00:42:30.920 like i'm living i'm not having an erotic moment with my laptop because i miss my wife oh respect

00:42:36.760 me it's like respect yourself turn off the laptop and write a love letter to your wife back home 0.85

00:42:42.120 i he's not kind of like gay though to police what other like another man's dick that kind of gay 0.79

00:42:47.960 i'm not interested in being the guy's police it's his job to do it and he's in great but not 0.83

00:42:53.240 duty right but not hers it's not her job well i think it's between him and god like it's not 0.60

00:42:58.520 her job to do that well then i could say well i could just have my wife can have an affair with

00:43:02.760 me and that's just between her or she can have an affair with someone else and that's between

00:43:05.800 her and god who am i to say no because like it's if if you believe in if you believe in the hierarchy

00:43:13.560 then it goes god men women children if you believe if you're more egalitarian

00:43:19.080 then you might say it's equal we both should be policing each other but if it's a hierarchy then 0.90

00:43:24.040 he would be policing her if he's going to a brothel while he's you know off in another country 0.95

00:43:30.200 is that between him and god yeah really so he could be bringing home hpv to his wife and that's

00:43:36.040 well it's between me and god most women bring hpv into marriage to be honest the majority

00:43:40.760 it's statistically 44 statistically it's actually you know by the time the average age of first

00:43:45.960 marriage is around 30 now and by the time women have 30 80 to 90 percent that were sexually active

00:43:51.000 which most women are before marriage so most women come into marriage with hpv i mean the last

00:43:55.560 numbers i saw the current prevalence of hpv is about 44.5 that's including women they'll get it

00:43:59.480 later we'll get it later regardless i mean they've got it it's not good yeah um you know but but he

00:44:04.200 could be bringing home a whole host of stuff that would really not only emotionally impact her but

00:44:08.840 but physically impact her, why can't he just, if he's such a soldier, like I know guys in the

00:44:14.820 special ops. I'm not saying that she should do it, that he should do it, but if he does,

00:44:17.980 I think it's between him and God. It's not her job to police him. But the marriage is between her

00:44:22.400 and him and God, all three of them. And if she finds out, like, sure, but like, it's not your,

00:44:27.360 like, it's not your job to police what your husband's doing. But if there's no transparency,

00:44:31.960 then there is no relationship. Oh God, the more transparent you are, the more we weaponize it

00:44:35.700 against you guys well i i think she has she does have a weapon you have to know that with women

00:44:40.440 come on but like women a man serving in the armed forces is capable of heroic feats with his body

00:44:47.760 i know i was with the navy a couple weeks ago yeah the hell that they can put their bodies through

00:44:52.900 just to get that navy seal stamp on but you can't be true to your wife because you're cheating on

00:44:57.900 your kids if you're doing stuff as well tell him that like they're even he's a navy seal i'm not 0.79

00:45:02.340 gonna tell him shit you shouldn't either you don't have to tell me he should be able to tell 0.85

00:45:06.140 himself like exactly drive my body and train it to this extent that's his job like oh i can't live 0.89

00:45:12.440 without a brothel it's like that's a boy well that's no i said porn that's not i said i said

00:45:16.980 porn but yeah even if the porn what does porn mean what pornography you know what it is the

00:45:24.160 writing or the drawings of the prostitutes that's what it means yeah it's visual prostitution yeah

00:45:29.500 and the idea that like like i could i could have such self-master of my body until it actually

00:45:35.900 matters with my wife because we want to look like a knight but we don't want to bleed like one

00:45:39.660 yeah and this is where you need to bleed for you know i just think that this in practice if you as

00:45:45.340 a woman are going to police what your husband's doing all the time and try to bring that into 0.81

00:45:49.740 dating is going to leave the women single forever because that is heavy neuroticism and that's what 1.00

00:45:54.700 you're seeing in the churches expecting if you go to know if you go into most churches it's a bunch

00:46:00.220 of single women it's that's yeah it's it's mostly well i wasn't most this most of the single guys

00:46:07.340 know that i mean that too but like it's if you wait over a certain age the the young men drop

00:46:13.340 off because young men they go into something they say what do i get out of it over a certain age

00:46:17.900 they get nothing out of it are they dropping off or getting married dropping off nobody's getting

00:46:22.300 married well nobody's i was just the church is seeing the opposite right now the young adults

00:46:26.700 are flooding into the church right now it's all right for now right now i was just at a catholic

00:46:31.020 church a little bit ago and they're not getting married it's mostly singles it's it's like you'll

00:46:35.980 have they offset the statistics and make it high and i i know because over the years they've just

00:46:40.620 shot so many of these stats at me and they're so misrepresentative it's like one family will have

00:46:45.500 like 10 but your odds of getting a bunch of kids is pretty slim to none if you go to a catholic

00:46:49.820 church do you think men are ready to marry most men when they're young yeah like under 25 like

00:46:59.100 most men have no other choice so yeah when when a girl shows interest um they they'll take it

00:47:04.940 most of the time no other choice meaning there aren't a lot of options for women one out of

00:47:09.340 three men are virgins or haven't had sex in the past year under 25. one out of three are virgins

00:47:15.100 yeah so young gen z men um are not like they're not getting interest or attention from women if

00:47:21.420 you look at the dating apps which is where people are meeting young women are sharing i mean you

00:47:25.100 have to know this yeah they're picking a very small yeah very small percentage of men it's

00:47:29.180 not based on virtue it's just hot yeah well it depends which app you're using too am i using

00:47:33.900 tinder or am i using one that really says no faith matters to me and because there's lots of dating

00:47:38.700 apps typically the bigger the app is the more diverse it is i find with some of the smaller

00:47:43.740 our concentrated apps people say look i'm not into the hookup culture i'm not interested yeah

00:47:47.380 neither am i let's discern together yeah but they'll still they'll still pick the best looking

00:47:51.480 guy or the guy on stage that's usually the same thing on the app looking for an attractive woman

00:47:55.540 because that's like the beginning right you want attraction yeah i know but if you ever get a group

00:47:59.820 women always share the men if given choice if you have a group that yeah if you have a group of 1.00

00:48:05.660 women and like they're always we're always going to pick the highest status men in the room won't 0.99

00:48:10.180 the men pick the most attractive women in the room um no because men like their attraction floor is 0.52

00:48:16.180 lower so women are only attracted to like 10 20 percent of men where men are attracted to like 0.87

00:48:21.060 half of women okay i mean they might they might go to stacy first but when she shoots him down

00:48:25.460 then she'll be like he'll be like rachel i wanted you my whole life you know i mean i was just

00:48:29.700 talking to a guy recently and he was just sharing with me how frustrated he was because he'll

00:48:33.460 ask a girl out and then he'll go and then she'll just she doesn't even know what she wants yeah

00:48:38.020 And he's just getting so frustrated.

00:48:39.620 He's like, is something wrong with me? 0.92

00:48:41.060 No, it's kind of, sort of, because women don't want to reproduce with average men. 0.86

00:48:45.140 So right now, all of the systems are helping women to not reproduce with average men. 0.85

00:48:51.140 I mean, isn't that partly evolutionary biology? 1.00

00:48:53.540 Yeah, correct.

00:48:54.020 We want some secure provisions.

00:48:55.540 Correct. 1.00

00:48:55.860 But then society, then as more men get iced out, like society is going to crumble. 1.00

00:49:00.340 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:00.660 No, without marriage, it will.

00:49:02.020 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:02.340 And, but when you give women choice, marriage disappears.

00:49:05.300 why do you either either tell women you must marry that ugly guy over there that you don't 1.00

00:49:09.620 like that much yeah um which is kind of what we've done historically and then women got more power

00:49:15.540 and we said we're not doing that and now we're gonna share well why do you think guys aren't

00:49:18.740 getting married is it just because the options are slim or is it because of a fear or a lack

00:49:25.220 of commitment uh the one part is that they find out the woman has a crazy past and they don't want

00:49:30.820 to deal with it so they might find out that she slept with their friend has an only fans um she

00:49:36.340 might have a ton of debt that's another thing women used to come with dowries now we're coming with 0.99

00:49:40.580 debt um and almost but i would say the most common thing is that you know men are asking what do i

00:49:48.340 get out of marriage yeah and even the church has no answer they get nothing they don't even get

00:49:51.940 obedience what you get out of marriage is a wife and a family like if when i met crystalina i i

00:49:59.780 knew full well if i asked her to marry me yeah technically i could lose everything yeah but if

00:50:04.660 i don't ask her to marry me i already have and what i what i mean by that is that your freedom

00:50:09.540 exists to be given away if it's not used for the sake of love and if i have no confidence in my

00:50:14.180 ability to choose a bride to me what you don't give away you've already lost and what's at stake

00:50:19.860 i think for the guys who are just like so afraid to get married because they might get their

00:50:23.540 assets taken away from them to me if you are more afraid of losing your assets than you are of

00:50:28.180 losing your woman then either she's the wrong woman for you or your way too attached to your

00:50:32.020 toys well that's easy to say in the high stats a high status guy it's not the middle and the lower

00:50:36.980 class men have it a lot worse and they're put into poverty and sometimes they don't recover

00:50:40.900 i've interviewed men that are at homeless shelters and like one guy was a barber and like he's

00:50:46.420 homeless now he never recovered yeah so it's not being scared but it's that the woman could change

00:50:51.700 yeah no i mean so you know when you're the rich man the wealthier men that make i don't know what

00:50:56.180 what you make, but I can assume being in this business, you do

00:50:59.180 well, if you make over a certain amount of money, they can

00:51:01.500 recover and afford a divorce. The guy, the guys that have it

00:51:04.600 really hard are the infrastructure, the middle 0.88

00:51:06.520 class men that don't make enough to afford it. 1.00

00:51:09.240 Yeah, no. And then you've done all the interviews. And I mean,

00:51:12.380 I've heard the exact same stories from so many husbands.

00:51:15.460 So why are we still pushing it? Why are we pushing marriage?

00:51:18.420 Yeah, why?

00:51:19.460 Well, I mean, to me, the way that I look at this summer, I got

00:51:22.340 to go fishing with my kiddos up in the White Mountains of

00:51:25.280 Arizona and my little six-year-old woke up real early and we went down to the lake and yeah I

00:51:29.800 pushed put the little hook on the worm and he cast it out there he's standing there at 7 a.m

00:51:34.080 and his cowboy boots camouflage shorts spider-man hoodie Alaska baseball cap he hooks this bass he

00:51:40.060 pulls it in and he's just going bonkers his smile is the size of Texas and would I risk absolutely

00:51:46.040 everything to be able to give that moment to him like heck yes what if he hated it's about a family

00:51:51.460 but what if he hated you why would he hate me we're fishing because what happens is a lot of

00:51:56.100 the mothers are spiteful and they are hitting the kids again against the father and so i interview

00:52:02.100 guys that they had that white picket fence yeah and then um the wife took the kids and now the

00:52:07.620 kids hate them and there's nothing there's nothing that you can do yeah so like again it worked out

00:52:12.980 well for you and i'm happy for you but you know for every one guy it works out well for how many

00:52:19.300 take you know yeah how many are absolutely devastated and destroyed and you're not going

00:52:23.220 to be there when their whole life falls apart yeah you're not going to like you're not going

00:52:26.580 to be there in divorce court with them so you're pushing something and it's like if i push a drug

00:52:31.940 and people die because of a drug i pushed um i can be sued but all the chat like the conservatives

00:52:38.180 that push marriage like there's no there's no downside for you guys pushing it yeah well like

00:52:42.980 you guys you guys get the society the safe society for your kids we get that yeah but like what about

00:52:49.140 him but that's a good argument for why divorce is bad but not a good argument for why marriage is bad

00:52:54.740 marriages lead to divorce well if you got to look at okay who is better off a single never married

00:53:01.240 man or a married man the married man is twice as likely to describe himself as being very happy he

00:53:06.940 has a higher income he has more sexual activity in his life he has a longer life expectancy he's less

00:53:11.500 likely to get cancer like there's all these real benefits yeah but the issue with those stats

00:53:15.880 one they're funded by very right-leaning institutions too i've been i was the left

00:53:20.500 gonna promote marriage no but i that's what i'm saying it doesn't paint the whole picture they're

00:53:26.200 very deceptive in my opinion because it doesn't include like the people that got divorced yes the

00:53:32.420 guy's gonna be you know some men talk about their marriages is the best time in their life you know

00:53:36.600 the guy from michael knowles's church he says it was like the happiest he ever was until she left

00:53:42.480 until she ruined his life and now like you know i got to this point where i'd interview the men and

00:53:48.160 i see death in their eyes like they've lost everything and i and then you know it's like

00:53:52.880 i do these debates and i see i debated trent horn i think i found out like one of his co-hosts or

00:53:59.600 someone really close to him went through a divorce i don't know him personally but it's like i know

00:54:04.000 you guys see what's happening so i don't understand why is why are you pushing marriage instead of

00:54:10.480 Instead of getting rid of child support, alimony, and 50-50 custody, because nothing's

00:54:16.040 going to be solved until that happens.

00:54:18.280 Men are going to look at the chessboard and they're going to say, like, what do I get

00:54:21.260 out of this?

00:54:22.260 And it's nothing right now.

00:54:23.260 Well, if someone, like one of my groomsmen were to come up to me the day before my wedding

00:54:27.000 and say, hey, Jason, you know, I know you already know there's this no-fault divorce

00:54:30.280 thing. 0.94

00:54:31.280 You know all the divorce courts are in the favor of the women. 1.00

00:54:33.280 You know these laws. 1.00

00:54:34.580 But the federal government just took it up a notch and said it's now death penalty if 1.00

00:54:38.120 a man gets divorced from his wife.

00:54:40.280 you know what i would say i say what time is the reception tonight is the dinner at 6 30. like i

00:54:45.080 wouldn't i couldn't care less because to me the risks are real but it's like what would you get

00:54:49.960 on a plane if it had a 35 chance of crashing it's like well i wouldn't i mean no i wouldn't get on

00:54:54.840 the plane but that's because well one reason is stupid but like 50 of businesses of small business

00:55:01.240 fail in the first five years 65 fail percent the same in the first 10 years but i started

00:55:06.200 free business should i not be an entrepreneur no because the consequence no the consequences aren't

00:55:10.360 the same you could lose everything yeah but then you file for bankruptcy and you can do it again

00:55:13.880 trump filed more than once you're not put on child support that is rehabilitating to your life in

00:55:18.680 last 18 years and they're actually extending that like i know a guy that's paying up to kill the

00:55:22.760 kids 21. that's that's slavery and it's even worse the older the guy gets if he has to if you get

00:55:29.000 divorced at like 50 you're cooked but what's the average child support payment in america right now

00:55:34.040 for a woman 441 dollars and how often is it paid 60 yeah i hate it i hate it when they put in those

00:55:41.320 statistics because again it's very deceptive because there is a portion of men that are 0.56

00:55:45.720 comp like you know that father like eight different kids and they're losers and like women love losers

00:55:50.920 so that yeah and they don't even go after the child support because they don't make any money

00:55:55.240 so of course that's going to bring down the statistics but if you look at the average like

00:55:58.440 in maryland it's around a grand a month yeah i i at that rate get a surrogate at that at that i

00:56:03.800 think it's better for a man to get a surrogate than get married today because at least he can

00:56:07.880 raise his kid isn't he probably making considerably more if he's paying that amount isn't it contingent

00:56:13.800 upon income not necessarily geographic location um possible obviously he makes more the more he

00:56:20.280 makes but we i can pull out my laptop and show you the numbers for a middle class and lower class guy

00:56:25.640 but you can't live off of it there's there's there's child support amounts that and you can

00:56:30.440 just go on the calculators and put in your income and figure what it out but you know i went to the

00:56:36.360 drug addiction center the other day half of the men that are there it started because of a divorce

00:56:41.080 the homeless shelter i go i went to a homeless shelter in dallas and i just started asking the

00:56:46.280 guys who's on child support who's on child support white white guys in particular you go to a white

00:56:50.680 guy at a homeless shelter i'd say half the time he's on child support and that's what and they'll

00:56:54.200 tell you yeah and so you know it's easy for you to say man up get married do the right thing it's so

00:56:58.840 great well it's great because it worked out for you but what if you were to ask his ex-wife why

00:57:04.280 did you guys get divorced well he became an alcoholic and you know used to beat me and who

00:57:07.720 cares and like well i mean but but divorce is i mean it's like it doesn't mean you should be in

00:57:12.760 he should be in poverty for the rest of his life no he's an alcoholic no you don't want that but

00:57:17.160 he might have caused his own circumstances no but most abuse is mutual so these women complaining

00:57:22.040 about the men hitting him like we gotta this is i just want to encourage the conservatives you

00:57:27.160 you got to stop believing these women they're lying do you interview as many women i've interviewed

00:57:32.360 more i've interviewed more women on that and here's the problem when you interview women

00:57:37.320 um most interviewers give these softball interviews and don't ask the right questions

00:57:42.520 no i mean like the ex-wives yes the men that you've talked to because i hear the broke the

00:57:47.000 stories that i've heard like you yeah it's like my gosh this poor guy he's been just to hell and

00:57:51.960 back after this divorce but then i've sometimes talked to the women and i'm like oh wow yeah he

00:57:56.760 didn't tell me what's the woman's story well it could be all kinds of stuff of infidelity of you

00:58:01.800 know verbal abuse and this and that and that verbal that it was just it was extremely toxic

00:58:05.720 in the house and she never verbally abused him oh they probably verbally abused the heck so why is 1.00

00:58:10.040 he in poverty correct so why is he in poverty and she isn't women are twice as likely to fall into 0.86

00:58:15.080 poverty based on her choices based on her choices well she's initiating most of the divorces the 0.52

00:58:20.920 the woman typically is but the question is if this why does she okay why would i leave him why does 0.86

00:58:26.920 she women leave good men all the time what are you talking about like if women leave good men

00:58:31.640 all the time i saw it all the time growing up most women are bad today and i don't know where 1.00

00:58:37.720 the statistic lies you know they they went through dating apps to like what percent of women don't 1.00

00:58:42.760 have debt don't have stds uh yeah it's like one percent so we can we can reasonably assume don't

00:58:49.880 have men have more debt no no they don't women hold 80 of the world's debt that's not true i heard

00:58:56.200 the men actually have more well partially once they're married because women put their um biggest

00:59:01.160 expenses on their husband's credit cards well it should be the shared credit card hopefully 0.72

00:59:05.880 yeah we're in 2026 man yeah you gotta update the times good luck with that one yeah we're 0.88

00:59:10.600 this is maybe you have separate bank accounts i think you have a separate marriage to begin with

00:59:14.040 oh god you want the same bank account yeah so she can nag him about that too

00:59:19.320 we hold each other accountable we have a budget that's over at the end of each month right but

00:59:23.720 that's you get that's egalitarian holding each other accountable is egalitarian well the goal

00:59:28.760 is let's as a husband and wife set our financial goals together i want to get retired hey hey how

00:59:34.840 about and two years from now let's go to our 25th wedding anniversary she doesn't need it she's never

00:59:39.720 asked for it let's make our financial goals together and then let's say that's our goal

00:59:44.120 how do we get there together and then it's instead of at the end of the month which we used to do

00:59:48.120 why would you buy that well you bought this that back and forth is not good financial planning

00:59:54.280 that the husband's leading here's our financial goal honey let's get on board can you row with me

00:59:58.280 to get to the goal well i mean i agree but i think we can just be real here yeah and say you how you 1.00

01:00:03.960 in your 40s i've just turned 51 51 i'm ancient yeah you're old enough to know women make terrible

01:00:08.920 financial choices i've seen some guys make horrible ones you know it's not the same like 0.64

01:00:13.560 let's just keep it a buck here we know it's not the same so women are in poverty because of their

01:00:18.680 poor choices men men like they don't spend like women do they just don't yeah yeah you know that

01:00:27.720 we don't i don't even need to study like you know that when you're sharing these very real risks 1.00

01:00:32.680 with men i think part of it is that you're coming at it from a woman god forbid but women

01:00:38.360 neurologically have a the way you approach risk because your brain structure is you have a very

01:00:44.280 heightened fear of loss compared to the man men tend to be very optimistic and even over overly

01:00:50.920 optimistic approach towards taking risk that's why we take high-risk jobs you know whether it's

01:00:56.440 underwater welding or even women prefer the high security jobs security is very important to women

01:01:01.640 so when they see red flags like whoa this is not safe women don't go red flag men kind of like

01:01:07.640 risk like i just camped on kodiak island a couple weeks ago 3 500 grizzly bears on the island and we

01:01:13.960 slept outside with shelters we built ourselves it was wonderful every guy i told that to said

01:01:18.760 that's awesome can i come next summer with you every woman i've told why would you do that

01:01:23.160 because for you risk the fear of loss is very very high so you're giving you're wanting men

01:01:29.160 to think like women but we're not going to okay if women but she's worth it yeah but if women 1.00

01:01:35.080 didn't okay that's just not true because then why women lead in solo traveling why are women going 1.00

01:01:40.200 out at night why do women write in love why do women women because instagram why do women write 1.00

01:01:45.480 love letters to ted bundy and who's producing the content on instagram women who is more prone to 1.00

01:01:51.080 take risks and business well women wouldn't get to the business anyway because they can't manage 1.00

01:01:56.280 a budget so women wouldn't even be able to get there it isn't just like cultural conditioning 1.00

01:02:01.560 they did this like every female influencer i knew under 30 is broke now i swear to god no 1.00

01:02:07.800 that's the lack of prudence and financial choice is not having to do it but the 0.71

01:02:11.160 risk of competence they did this and self-control more like i did this awesome study of monkeys

01:02:17.800 they found out that these japanese macaque monkeys male female born at the same birth rate

01:02:22.280 by the time they got a couple years old they're five times as many females as males and they're

01:02:26.200 like oh the men not have a good immune system why are all the where are all the men going

01:02:29.800 and they researched it and they found because the testosterone and these monkeys they were

01:02:33.880 far more likely to make miraculously stupid and risky decisions like i can jump from this tree

01:02:38.520 to that tree and the other monkey's like no you can't he's like hold my beer and then and he's

01:02:41.960 dead i can run across the bridge before the truck comes no you can't he's dead so they found out 0.99

01:02:46.920 that the women are five times as more likely to live longer just because the guys made really 0.61

01:02:51.720 stupid risky decisions whereas the female monkey is like well i'll just climb down and walk over 0.98

01:02:55.320 to the other tree that it's it's not a social conditioning kind of thing we're wired to want to 0.85

01:03:00.840 risk and that that applies to my discernment process of marriage i know this is a big risk

01:03:06.200 but i'm gonna go full send because i can't imagine my life without this woman then why aren't men

01:03:10.680 getting married no well that's a very good question i mean one what i've experienced from

01:03:15.800 the guys i'm trying to ask these girls out they're not interested they don't even know what they want

01:03:19.880 or they only want this and not me other guys are so hooked on porn they don't even want to bother 1.00

01:03:24.360 with her wife because like my goodness then she's going to have needs and demands and moods and 0.56

01:03:27.960 emotions and who needs all that stuff when i've got my laptop so some guys are de-incentivized

01:03:32.520 to marriage because they're living in their little fancy life and they're living in their

01:03:35.480 mom's basement on looking at pornography and playing minecraft they're 28 but affectively

01:03:40.920 they're 14 years old they're not men ready to marry and so some of the women are not ready to

01:03:45.720 be married too they're entering into marriage very immature and unformed and the same is true

01:03:51.240 of many men well a third of them say they hate men like a third of gen z women that would be a

01:03:56.600 very sad stat i mean i know a lot of women and they don't express that hatred at least openly

01:04:01.240 towards me they'd be very sad if it's true though yeah well i mean they say they say that but like

01:04:07.720 they're being incurred like i think you hate male sexuality if you're policing your husband's porn

01:04:12.840 addiction i think that is for i think i think that's that's not male sexuality it's a misuse

01:04:18.120 of it yeah but my sexuality is not going to explode if i can't use a woman well that's lust

01:04:24.760 okay then why do half of pastors have affairs because they're not practicing what they're

01:04:28.840 preaching they're broke they're messed up individuals make stupid decisions that destroy

01:04:32.600 their families their man why couldn't the priests do it either uh priests have a very low rate oh

01:04:37.640 you see all these stats of child abuse a kid is far more likely to be abused the number one

01:04:42.520 perpetrator of sexual abuse against kids isn't the clergy it's not but it's the women the women

01:04:47.160 know what is the teachers in school the women they're the ones sleeping with the students you

01:04:51.080 know who it is most likely stepdad stepdad not even nope stepdad yes again wait most likely to

01:04:57.560 sexually abuse a child um i would have said stepdad but who i don't know 11 to 15 year old

01:05:05.400 boys have been exposed to porn oh their stepsister has a sleepover party with whatever the cousin

01:05:12.600 comes over crap happens never gets reported number one so it's a step sibling no no any 11

01:05:19.480 to 15 year old boy who's been exposed to porn is the most likely person to sexually abuse a child

01:05:24.140 oh you're saying because they watch the porn they see it and they want to experiment on it

01:05:28.680 with their eight-year-old cousin or whatever yeah and then i'm i'm not saying i'm not saying to give

01:05:33.680 it to kids but i think there's just a point where like what is the man supposed to do if his wife

01:05:39.900 won't sleep with him so you put the men in a position where they're enslaved to their wife's

01:05:43.480 emotions because now the only way they can have sex is from their wife she says no we agree that

01:05:49.720 shouldn't be enforced legally fine why don't they go to deal with their marriage i mean the grass is

01:05:54.800 always green on the other side maybe it's time to water your own grass like maybe we need to go on a

01:05:57.860 marriage retreat maybe i need to start taking her out on more dates i got a buddy he's been married

01:06:01.880 for 20 years and he's never missed his weekly date night with his bride in 20 years rain or shine he

01:06:06.200 takes her on a date. My guess is she's probably pretty receptive to a man who's still pursuing

01:06:11.000 her 20 years deep into the marriage. Okay, then why are men reporting that women go on dates with

01:06:15.100 them and bang another guy after? That would be heartbreaking, just like if the husband cheats

01:06:18.820 on the wife. It's heartbreaking. It's not really the same. No, but like marriage, like divorce and

01:06:23.860 brokenness is a bit like obesity in the sense that usually somebody has something to do with it,

01:06:28.740 meaning I could have a metabolic issue that's beyond my control, but this 40% divorce rate

01:06:34.860 35 percent divorce rate that's not across the board meaning your divorce rate changes depending

01:06:40.700 on your socioeconomic status your race your religion how often to go to church your sexual

01:06:44.700 history all these things i knew a professor of philosophy in dallas who told her students

01:06:50.540 if you guys get divorced i'm gonna give you a thousand dollars if you do four things and she

01:06:55.260 said here it is number one don't have sex before marriage and if you have just stop for the year

01:06:59.980 before your wedding secondly don't shack up and play house and live together third thing

01:07:04.700 when it comes time to plan your family how many kids you have don't use contraception use fertility

01:07:08.860 awareness methods nfp not the old rhythm method that didn't work nfp and when you get married

01:07:13.740 just give 10 of your money to the poor or the church she said if you do those four things i'll

01:07:17.740 give you a thousand bucks if you get divorced no one's ever asked her for the money when was this

01:07:22.540 when was this like 20 30 years ago and this yeah before social media she's been teaching all this

01:07:28.460 time before tinder jason you gotta update with the times that would not work that would not work

01:07:34.860 today oh hell no why would that not work um one i think it's kind of insulting to ask a man to pay

01:07:41.100 a higher price than for something that another guy got for free most men are going to hear that and

01:07:46.460 say why on earth would i do that pay a price meaning so marry her yeah so now basically she

01:07:52.700 gave it up for free to chad tyrone gloctavius all these dudes and now you have to pay a higher price

01:07:59.340 that was a loan that i consider marriage the gift i get her yeah i mean you can sell that but like

01:08:05.100 women will eat that up but men are going to hear that and just no they're not going to that's why 0.97

01:08:08.780 men are leading to the church you know my wife's story yeah i know i do i mean she came from broken 0.98

01:08:12.700 family lost when she was 15 after three years living the wild crazy life and she said that

01:08:17.980 in high school she said i'm never going to get divorced yeah and i know how i'm never going to

01:08:21.740 get married that was the bulletproof strategy yeah and then she realized i'm miserable using

01:08:26.300 these guys i've got love to give and i'm not giving to these guys i'm getting used and i'm

01:08:30.220 using and this sucks yeah and then she turned things around i met her years later and we've

01:08:35.340 got it's possible but not if you don't have hope i mean it's possible but most men don't want to do 0.61

01:08:41.260 that like they don't want to know that she banged all these guys for free and now they have to pay

01:08:45.740 a higher price and commit to her for the rest of their life and give up all other women that maybe

01:08:50.220 maybe that was a good deal for you i'm not saying i'm glad it worked out and what's he doing in the

01:08:54.060 meantime what most the same no most men are most men are sexless so they don't get sex most men

01:09:00.140 virgins on their wedding night no because women pick the top men but most men aren't getting the

01:09:04.940 op like is that a top well i would say in churches the stereotype is that it's the naive guy and the

01:09:10.220 horror girl that's the stereotype so it's the young guy um usually that can't do better and

01:09:16.060 then the horror that's been through everybody and then she usually runs the relationship because

01:09:20.860 he's naive yeah and so she starts nagging him telling him what to do and now it's porn stars

01:09:25.260 now i don't know if that's you guys i'm not saying it is but that is this that is the stereotype now

01:09:30.140 and it's because when you incentivize bad behavior that's what you get yeah i mean it's so when you

01:09:35.180 say hey hey you get to go on stage and you get to be the highest status person in the church

01:09:41.340 um like they're gonna do it but i'm a big free speech guy yeah so i want the nun on stage i

01:09:47.660 want the ex-con on stage if they've reformed their life and they're a new creation hey tell

01:09:53.020 us how we can start over because we got our baggage too um no i don't want to hear from

01:09:57.020 them i think they need to have some humility and go to the back of the church and not talk for a

01:10:01.020 while and just work on their faith and then later they can maybe talk i just think of the church as

01:10:05.260 like a hospital for sinners not like some museum of saints like only if if only the perfect people

01:10:10.220 could talk it would be basically a silent i know but you need a standard of good behavior for a

01:10:14.700 while before you talk for a while yeah so and i would say over seven years because that's the

01:10:19.100 average most people leave it away from 20 down to seven now so we're cutting down no no no i meant

01:10:23.660 seven years in churches okay so the average church is like seven to eight years okay so um then people

01:10:29.580 switch and they go to a different church or they stop being religious so a lot of the people come

01:10:33.260 into the catholic church now i would predict they're going to leave in seven to eight years

01:10:37.180 especially the men if they don't get married which i think most of them are expecting and

01:10:42.300 hoping to get a wife and it's not going to happen well i mean i'm seeing it constantly our church

01:10:47.100 has on like first friday of every month candlelight mass for the young adults seven o'clock at night

01:10:51.740 hundreds and hundreds of young adults come together to meet each other to go on dates

01:10:55.980 to go hang out like we're because i think the church has a responsibility to give people more

01:10:59.820 than an app like opportunities i agree and it's not enough to say hey good luck to you uh we've

01:11:05.980 got to create opportunities for them to meet each other and start their vocations so we started

01:11:08.860 these wilderness backpacking things so young adults could meet and we just got our first

01:11:12.220 engagement last week it was awesome they texted us the picture like we met on the hike and we just

01:11:15.900 got engaged i'm like game on well you got us you got to say to the women you're not that hot you're

01:11:20.780 overweight and this is your looks match but and they're never going to do that but you can't hang

01:11:26.540 your coat on a hook that can't bear the weight and what i mean by that is it's like you make that the

01:11:30.540 top priority you know a size zero jeans well it's like yeah she might get a first date but does she

01:11:36.060 know how to be a wife like there's other stuff besides that yeah but let's just be real if i go

01:11:41.500 to these churches it's usually the chad and the stacys that are together it's like the best looking

01:11:46.140 ones well and there's a guy right in front of me in mass this morning he's a bodybuilder i mean

01:11:49.820 the guy was just gigantic a little girl next to him i'll just i'll just put it like this right now 1.00

01:11:54.060 women have power in society okay in some ways pretty much all the ways women have the power 1.00

01:11:59.980 um so right now when you give women choice in dating women are we choose to share men

01:12:05.740 when we're given choice so right now is it that they're sharing or they're both choosing the same

01:12:10.780 guy and they're both choosing yeah the same guy yeah they're not sharing they're probably fighting

01:12:15.420 over i mean who gets them if you look at dating apps we are sharing okay so what's going to happen

01:12:21.180 is you're going to have more young men that are single and the church is going to have to take

01:12:26.220 a stand they either do arranged marriages or they say here's choice and the men still get nothing in

01:12:31.020 return for being a part of the church is it possible let's say the women are picking the 0.95

01:12:34.940 top five percent yeah which is understandable they'd want a provider and a high value man

01:12:39.020 even though i hate that expression could that perhaps make the guys who are down here in the

01:12:43.020 bottom 95 be like maybe i need to step up my game and quit living in my mom's basement and playing

01:12:48.220 call of duty no they they do but the problem is when they see tom brady get divorced and men that

01:12:53.180 are like the highest men um and even church leaders get divorced they think well there's

01:12:58.220 nothing i can do yeah no there there is very little they can do so like i think the conservative

01:13:05.500 media that a lot of their careers are going to be contingent on addressing this issue you guys have

01:13:09.660 to yeah but i think marriage is worth trying and learning how to do well and what way they need to

01:13:15.420 get the skills to be a good husband and wife discernment which they don't have is this a good

01:13:20.380 pick to begin with or not and then help within the marriage instead of it's all too risky just 1.00

01:13:24.940 running the other direction because like if i die because i'm so afraid that a woman might take all

01:13:30.060 my stuff and cheat on me or whatever and i'm in my deathbed surrounded by all my assets and

01:13:35.500 diversified portfolio i'm not going to be like i did it i never had kids i never had a wife i never

01:13:40.860 had my heart broken i won but yeah but some men do exactly what you are prescribing and they still

01:13:47.100 wind up alone and have no choice or fault of their own but like what's my odds of having a happy

01:13:54.540 marriage if i never try zero percent i'm not going to what's your men are nine times more likely to

01:14:00.140 commit suicide after divorce so you i mean some of these men die yeah well they're but if we really

01:14:06.540 care about the men the most likely suicide category for men would be divorced men underneath that would

01:14:11.500 be single never married men and underneath that is married right so if we want the lowest divorce

01:14:15.740 rate for guys we should encourage them to enter into and stay inside of a functional marriage

01:14:20.540 yeah but you can't do that like in a business partnership you're much more in control in a

01:14:25.340 marriage you can't control another person and also that includes um the issue with that statistic is

01:14:30.700 they include men that have really bad habits like alcoholism like men that wouldn't be qualified for

01:14:35.660 marriage anyway because they're just like either super obese super um guys like four times as

01:14:41.660 as likely to commit suicide than women anyway just because we solve problems with violence 0.52

01:14:45.300 more effectively um so like we're more actually i actually think women try more but attempt more 0.92

01:14:50.620 yeah they don't succeed yeah because we can't we can't we can't do anything right even that 1.00

01:14:55.600 i saw a video of a girl who tried to kill herself with a gun and survived and now she's like has no

01:15:00.840 face i'm like girl why would you do that well she's crying out for intervention is what it is

01:15:05.680 but obviously not like how could you survive that look i mean i just think conservatives are losing

01:15:13.120 and this is why and i really hope that conservatives figure this out what do you mean this is why um

01:15:20.320 i've heard that the pendulum is going to swing back for like a decade um and i believe that

01:15:25.360 conservatives are lying because there's no indication that that's going to happen in the

01:15:28.960 near future so um what's going to happen is women are the sex work is going to go up churches are 0.54

01:15:35.680 just going to get x wars and single men and the more we incentivize bad behavior um the more we're

01:15:41.760 going to see it what do you call a man who has the same behavior past that she does um accomplished

01:15:47.920 because it's actually hard to do that this is the thing is like yeah men and women are the same and

01:15:52.160 a girl has sex they get called completely different names for a good reason behavior

01:15:55.600 for a good reason he gets congratulated in the locker room and she's getting condemned in the

01:15:58.960 hallway but they did the same thing correct and it's like to me it's a double standard it's just

01:16:03.760 like it is and that's true boys i know but you guys like you can come in and say it's wrong or

01:16:09.760 whatever but it doesn't matter because the world will show the result that it is a double standard

01:16:15.680 and it's not the same so like you can say oh boo hoo but it doesn't matter but don't you think a

01:16:21.600 woman would also be like have to think twice if a guy has an extremely promiscuous past hasn't

01:16:26.560 really started over she's got to think okay how long ago was that lifestyle and did he really

01:16:30.960 pivot and change we can't help but we're attracted to it yeah but you can choose what you do with

01:16:35.120 your attractions you're attracted to it meaning his sexual past yeah or what would be attractive

01:16:42.000 about the fact that a man can't practice self-control that he can get we like men that

01:16:46.160 can get we don't like men that can't but like them for what um we like to feel desired by

01:16:51.360 them no because you want to be the next item on the menu if i want him to want me it's not that

01:16:56.480 i actually want him no it's biological it's because it shows that he could take care of another woman

01:17:01.600 so biologically he isn't taking care of any of them well not today but i know i know today but

01:17:07.520 there's still like biological reasons why we feel the way we feel there's biological reasons why you

01:17:12.160 have to be repulsed by a woman's past men men that's how they feel they can't help it um so

01:17:17.920 even if the woman maybe did change your life he's still gonna feel that way i'm sure you guys

01:17:21.600 counsel people all the time that have that problem because biologically he had to ensure paternity

01:17:26.640 biologically we had to pick a guy that could get it just is what it is i mean it reminds me

01:17:30.880 just it just is what it is song in the gym pitbull or neo wherever like give me everything tonight

01:17:35.520 for all we know we might not have tomorrow and i listen to that and i'm like do you hear it sounds

01:17:40.400 like a bank robbery like give me everything you have tonight we might not have tomorrow what am

01:17:44.240 am i doing here if we don't get tomorrow because it i remember pope john paul the second one said

01:17:48.960 the person who does not decide to love forever will have a very difficult time loving for even

01:17:53.760 one day and so that man didn't take care of any of those women he just used them and then discarded

01:17:59.440 them and women were in line to be like pick me next pick me next i'll be the one you want more

01:18:03.920 than all those girls yeah they don't desire him they want to be desired by him whatever re the

01:18:08.560 reasoning the behavior is going to persist that's my point yeah that's my my point isn't is it good

01:18:13.760 right wrong i don't really care about that it's not i like to predict where things are going to go

01:18:18.720 and be accurate and if we're going to be accurate um yeah it doesn't matter what we say you could

01:18:24.000 say that's wrong women are always going to pick men the top men so basically always you would

01:18:28.480 propose the idea that women really don't know what to look for in a husband that's going to stick 0.82

01:18:34.400 around for the long haul well there's alpha beta bucks so there's genetic material and provisioning

01:18:39.760 for the kids so like who do you pick as a spouse well how do you know this guy is well women well 1.00

01:18:46.240 we want to have our cake and eat it too so that's why women have the promiscuous past with alpha 1.00

01:18:50.400 fox and then beta bucks after have the guy take care of it so because a woman's mating strategy 0.97

01:18:55.040 is going to be paternity fraud not saying that's that's obviously wrong we don't want that but it's 1.00

01:18:59.440 to have kids with one guy and convince another guy to take care of it how to what that's the top

01:19:03.840 genetics do you think that that's predetermined in her mind that she's got this all mapped out

01:19:08.320 i don't think i'm gonna go sleep with a bunch of guys and then settle down it's not predetermined 0.99

01:19:12.080 it's but it's the same way like men it's not predetermined that they're disgusted by sluts 0.84

01:19:16.320 they just feel that way some women do plan it to be fair i have interviewed women yeah there could

01:19:21.040 be like your gold digger type of no paternity fraud is is a real thing yeah so i mean i just

01:19:26.960 interviewed a guy that said three out of ten men he grew up with found out their dad wasn't their

01:19:30.240 dad yikes so and he was like 70 so that's not new yeah so i mean but what's the solution isn't it

01:19:38.160 education in human love oh god starting and actually teaching people the difference between

01:19:42.640 loving and using a person from the time that they're young so they can realize this guy doesn't

01:19:46.880 want me any more than a smoker wants a cigarette like smokers don't want cigarettes they want the

01:19:51.280 feeling to get from the nicotine in the cigarette and when they're done smoking they flick it i wish

01:19:54.960 that was true girls feel wanted and they realize he didn't want me i wish that was true it's just

01:19:59.040 not sure you don't think they could be educated no because i've seen women that are educated and

01:20:02.960 know all this stuff and make terrible life choices like the sarah stock situation she got her 1.00

01:20:07.280 marriage blessed by the pope who else did you need and you still banged your boss so yeah yeah 0.85

01:20:12.160 by a lot there's biological reasons and that predicts the behavior better in my opinion do

01:20:16.400 you think the risk is better not to get married of what that that would mean for many for men yeah

01:20:22.320 occasionally rich men maybe it's worth it because you can get some things out of it for him then

01:20:26.880 what's the option for the guy who decides marriage is and i'm not saying everybody needs get married

01:20:31.040 or should get married but for the guy who thinks it's too scary uh it's too risky um what is his

01:20:37.040 option long game well i'll never tell a man what to do if a man wants to get married and he's weighed

01:20:41.920 the risks and he knows what they are yeah um there's precautions you can take yeah but um

01:20:48.320 most men can't afford them if we're going to be honest and yeah like what am i going to tell a guy

01:20:54.080 who doesn't want to get married to do he can't afford the risk well because of what i mean i

01:20:58.320 recommend most men get a background check that's cost money and if you're an average like working

01:21:03.200 class guy you might not want to pay that i'd say to consult with a divorce attorney before to figure

01:21:08.080 out what legal rights you have as a man and how you can like different men come like some men put

01:21:12.960 their money in their mother's name and if they want to do it yeah but you do have to protect 1.00

01:21:16.960 yourself as a man you cannot be naive today women have way too much power they can ruin your 1.00

01:21:21.920 reputation they can steal your children legally they have the school system on their side they 1.00

01:21:26.080 could falsely accuse falsely accuse you of rape abuse and all this stuff like you have to protect

01:21:32.640 yourself as a man and if he decides then it is too scary then what's what's his life

01:21:39.760 you think a man needs a wife to have a good life no i don't think everybody should get married

01:21:43.920 it's just it's not okay so then we agree but if he's avoiding it out of fear i think there's an 0.98

01:21:48.720 issue there that at the end of the day he's going to realize this was not a w that i never had a

01:21:53.680 wife i never took the risk i never had my heart broken i never had the family i didn't have it

01:21:58.560 all that i'm saying well why do you need to get the government involved you what is he going to

01:22:03.520 just like shack up with his girlfriend but aren't the vows between you and god like why does the

01:22:08.320 government between you and god in front of your family yeah so why why do you even need to legally

01:22:13.360 get married well what i mean marriage is an institution historically has been to legally 1.00

01:22:18.960 bind a father to his offspring for the well-being of the children that's why matrimony right is the

01:22:23.840 duty of the mother meaning this is about a family not just about a product because the government

01:22:28.480 couldn't care less about your romantic yeah so why does he why do they even need to get involved

01:22:32.720 why not to me it's just like let's make this as official as possible state god family you 0.58

01:22:39.280 me this is real yeah because i don't think there's virtue in being stupid and i think it's stupid to

01:22:45.760 put yourself at more of a legal risk than you have to so is it stupid to get married

01:22:50.960 um yeah i mean without taking precautions yes what's a precaution that would make marriage

01:22:56.780 not stupid um less stupid prenup yeah you're not me i just told you background check meeting with

01:23:02.960 a lawyer before there's a lot of you can do an irrevocable trust i mean you'd have to talk to

01:23:07.920 an expert on um on that not me but you had to jump blindly into marriage yeah i totally think

01:23:15.440 it's dumb yeah well i'm not advocating blinding jumping i think you need a lot of yeah people

01:23:20.340 giving you some seriously good advice because often you get thinking oh no this is the best

01:23:23.940 person ever and you're not have accountability with mentors of just like hey there's some serious

01:23:28.620 red flags in here you better pay attention to and if you're just kind of going lone ranger

01:23:31.800 you can just go off a cliff yeah but most mentors are enslaved to their wife's emotions and who

01:23:36.840 wants that like well to me it would be a married mentor couple would be ideal um we didn't have

01:23:42.700 one when we were engaged and i kind of regret that in the sense that we could have used some

01:23:47.420 like, hey, this is a red flag we're seeing. You guys should probably work on this. I know a priest

01:23:51.640 who instead of giving the couples what's called the focus test, which is kind of just a basic

01:23:56.460 examination of how you guys are doing, he gives them the annulment paperwork while they're engaged.

01:24:00.760 It's a hundred questions, deep, deep dive of everything. He said, I'm not going to deal with

01:24:06.060 this seven years from now when you guys decide you're not getting along. We're dealing with it

01:24:09.800 now. And God bless that priest. He takes a deep dive so they can unearth the stuff now instead

01:24:15.020 being surprised by it six months down the road well none of it's working because it's all getting

01:24:18.780 worse so well i mean that that's not really a statistic it's more of a an attitude of it's

01:24:24.380 it's hopeless it's not worth doing i mean a year and a half from now we're celebrating our 25th

01:24:28.780 wedding anniversary no but what is your evidence that society marriage is getting better the the

01:24:34.780 median age of a marriage of a first marriage in america right now is greater than 21 years people

01:24:41.420 here oh the average marriage lasts eight years that's completely false okay the median age

01:24:46.300 meaning if you took everyone in their first marriage who's alive today okay more than half

01:24:51.020 of them okay have been married for more than 21 years and so this idea of fear-mongering it's all

01:24:55.660 just going to be doing a couple issues you got with that statistic number one it's actually worse

01:24:59.820 if the guy gets diverse divorced after 20 years that's way worse completely because she can take

01:25:05.340 more years of work and um so like again if a guy gets divorced at 50 it's going to be way worse

01:25:10.380 than 30 at least at 30 he can recover the child support's done by the time he gets to 50 so worse

01:25:16.140 second issue with that statistic is that you're including women the second the second the second

01:25:21.020 18 year old kid yeah the second issue that you're going to have to deal with is that um you're

01:25:26.540 including women that are boomers and you're including gen x women and there is no indication

01:25:32.300 that gen z women are going to have better results than those women because gen z women have been on

01:25:37.500 I'm a young millennial because I would say under 35, right?

01:25:41.740 Those women, like we've been on social media since we were 12.

01:25:44.620 That completely warps your brain. 0.79

01:25:47.900 A quarter of women are on only, sorry, around 15% of Gen Z women are on OnlyFans. 0.74

01:25:53.340 If you take the attractive women, it's probably higher. 0.73

01:25:57.340 That doesn't include the low level sex work promiscuity. 0.98

01:25:59.980 Like promiscuity is rampant among Gen Z, especially with sex work. 0.98

01:26:04.300 so it's like there's no indication it's going to get better and a third are saying that they hate 0.91

01:26:10.700 men so you can't they rank men seventh on their priority list they put traveling above men when

01:26:17.020 you ask them how important are men to you they say i'd rather do anything else yeah well these

01:26:22.060 are like on top of that even the churches are telling the women they don't have to obey their

01:26:26.380 husbands well the bible doesn't say obey it says submit and there's a world of difference between

01:26:31.260 the two she's she's not my property or my possession what would be wrong with follow

01:26:36.220 what would be wrong with that why not well i'm not going to treat my bride like my child 0.87

01:26:41.340 i'm not going to put her in time i wish i wish more husbands would your wives torture us i wish

01:26:46.460 i wish more husbands would yeah well i don't think many wives aspire to be treated like a child 1.00

01:26:52.140 oh i mean maybe someone might want to act like it you know but i think to be treated like it 0.99

01:26:57.740 and just talk down to and like you will do this or you're in timeout to me is it's treating you

01:27:01.900 more like a possession you'd be surprised these days i don't know many happy marriages where

01:27:08.300 that's the dynamic at play okay but so i forgot what you're saying before that but i i just it's

01:27:15.740 risky yeah and i'm not gonna downplay that at all it's i mean i've heard they're in my inbox right

01:27:21.900 now of the husbands and and the wives too of them sending because i'm hearing both sides of the

01:27:27.020 the stories yeah there's a huge risk you could lose everything but if you're not willing to i

01:27:32.860 think you already have lost it all well obviously you're gonna say that because you need a safe

01:27:37.180 future for your kids so i can understand your incentive for that um but again average men are

01:27:43.720 gonna hear this and like lower status men and they're just not gonna do it so they're free to

01:27:48.400 make their choices yeah i know but i would i would recommend you know i really think i would like to

01:27:53.380 encourage conservatives to fight for marriage reform and telling

01:27:57.040 women to shut up. I think that would be amazing. Yeah. Yeah. 1.00

01:27:59.760 Well, I mean, what I would want to fight for is for the guys

01:28:02.320 to understand like your freedom is best measured by your

01:28:05.380 capacity to love. And if you're living in fear, you're not free.

01:28:09.940 If you're living in lust, you're not free. Only a man who has

01:28:13.660 self control and who can actually face his fears can be

01:28:16.680 free to love a woman and build something beautiful. It's

01:28:18.700 possible. But not if you're scared to death that it'll never

01:28:21.340 happen you got to face your fears if you're a man you really do it doesn't mean you have to get

01:28:24.960 married not everybody's called to get married but your vocation is the definitive direction of love

01:28:29.820 in your life who you're going to make a gift of yourself to and if it's like you're not safe

01:28:33.800 i'm just living in this shell and there's like a cage because it's it's safe over here but that

01:28:39.340 cage is going to become a coffin i think the cage is going to become a coffin for the saying that

01:28:43.500 if men don't want to get married they're in cages if it because of fear if it's fear that's making

01:28:49.760 him run away from marriage then yes it's like that's not the calling what if they say i get

01:28:54.520 nothing out of this it's not worth it i would say guess what marriage isn't about you and if you

01:28:59.220 think it is it's probably the wrong vocation for you yeah i think happiness isn't something marriage

01:29:03.600 gives me happiness is something i better bring into my marriage okay well i just want you to

01:29:07.680 know that mindset is going to be why more men are going to hear that and not get married and leave

01:29:11.720 the church so i think guys will hear it and realize like no there's some things in life

01:29:16.200 worth fighting for and marriage happens to be one yeah well if you look at church attendance um i

01:29:20.940 know there's been a slight spike but overall the last 20 years it's lower than ever it hasn't been

01:29:25.400 slight it's astronomical what's happening all these young people who have binged the hookup

01:29:30.840 lifestyle all that stuff realized it promised me everything and it gave me nothing now there's

01:29:35.220 something transcendent and no i was just i was just looking at the numbers the other day it's

01:29:39.980 still like eight to one in terms of like leaving versus coming i have to look it up again i don't

01:29:45.780 off the top of my head overall overall in america church attendance is down yeah not in the catholic

01:29:52.500 church uh it's going it's starting to see this massive boom it's of young people coming back

01:29:58.260 into young adults in their 20s and 30s it's still going down i just i just tweeted about this the

01:30:02.500 other day i mean i could pull it up if you want but it's it's no overall the catholic church is

01:30:08.580 losing attendance sometimes what they do is they they'll like look at like 2020 to 2023 and show

01:30:14.740 it's like oh it's booming from 2020 but overall the trend is still down if you look at like the

01:30:20.020 last 50 years the global population of catholics is increasing not decreasing okay it's now the

01:30:25.700 largest christian denomination in the world at about 1.2 billion so like it's it's growing but

01:30:31.140 i mean i don't know if there's a point of argument this direction that direction my only point was

01:30:35.300 that i think what we're starting to see i believe is that a generation of people who've just been so

01:30:41.620 sick of the noise of social media hookup cultures godlessness that they want something transcendent

01:30:47.300 and sacred and stable and they're coming home to the church and if that were true then only fans

01:30:52.180 wouldn't be here so oh no i mean yeah it's getting worse it's more accessible than i'd like i'd like

01:30:57.460 to say i don't sell hope um it's gonna get worse and enjoy the decline well you know to me it's

01:31:03.060 just making sin easier to get because like when i was a kid if you want to see porn it took time

01:31:07.780 money and effort to go get that stuff you need to take a lot of risk to steal your friends dad's

01:31:12.180 porn collection out of his nightstand now we're giving it to our 14 year old boys in their

01:31:16.100 smartphone with no filters yeah and by the time they get to 28 years old they don't even know

01:31:20.420 how to say no to temptation while they're in a bathroom by themselves for five minutes i think 0.98

01:31:24.580 for every conversation we have about porn there should be five okay for women on social media 0.99

01:31:31.860 what do you mean on like they you're on social media yes so should you not be on social media

01:31:36.020 in a perfect world i wouldn't be okay that's why can men be on social media um men it's not as

01:31:42.260 detrimental because women feed off of male attention where men like sex okay so women 0.64

01:31:48.020 we don't um want sex as much as men unless it's from like the top guys genetics but 1.00

01:31:53.140 yeah so basically you're giving men access like women access to replace their husbands easily

01:32:00.260 with social media it's marketing no i mean you're not going to get me to argue with you we need a

01:32:05.060 heck of a lot less social media yeah for women though it's gotta like the the church has gotta

01:32:09.380 start talking about female sin and that's like the number one way women are doing it now in social 0.54

01:32:14.100 media i never see the churches call out women dressing half naked on it ever i mean they'll do 0.97

01:32:19.940 it to church i see them at the churches nowadays dressed half naked and the men are too weak to

01:32:24.420 call them out yeah so like we need to have more conservatives talking about female sin the men

01:32:30.260 men have heard it they know so yeah no i mean we just put out a video a couple days ago on modesty

01:32:35.640 and women in bikinis if they're christian you know we're not afraid to speak out on it not because

01:32:39.520 we're shaming the women but rather male modesty is an issue too and i think we both need to work

01:32:44.800 on this virtue it's not the same like that's almost like feminism right there because you

01:32:48.920 keep saying every time i talk about female sin we always have to say men why it's a female sin

01:32:55.200 what's a female sin immodesty is a female sin the immodesty of a man's intentions could be far 0.62

01:33:02.060 more immodest than any outfit she could ever put on and so what's the cause of robbery the presence 0.96

01:33:07.620 of women in the window of the store or the presence of greed in the heart of the robber 0.99

01:33:11.060 women get naked far before men even ask them to i go to gyms the men will look down oh yeah oh come

01:33:16.680 on the men are looking down trying not to look at the women women get naked first far before the 1.00

01:33:21.980 she's in the mirror with her phone and dressed up women are the predators we gotta stop treating them 0.95

01:33:27.020 most of the time they are so it's like yeah like for we gotta stop talking about porn men know 0.89

01:33:33.580 most men aren't excited that they're watching porn it's kind of an l they couldn't get a girl

01:33:37.340 yeah they're not excited they know yeah do you know who doesn't know women how detrimental their

01:33:42.540 social media habit is so it's like for every yeah so i i just would like conservatives i think

01:33:51.980 like i don't know why none of them will talk about this stuff but it's just yeah no i'd like

01:33:57.940 you to keep speaking on it because social media just rots you yeah i mean how much one of the

01:34:02.660 rule of thumbs i try to give young adults is only use social media standing up don't use it lying

01:34:08.280 down because if you're throwing that up 45 minutes go by whoa where did my life just go

01:34:14.080 married women no pictures on social media no no picture stop torturing your family single women 0.99

01:34:20.940 because they put pictures on social media yeah okay because you're single okay because you're 0.61

01:34:25.500 putting yourself out there to be yeah yeah to be found but once you're married you put it away

01:34:29.140 okay yeah if that's your okay but what if they're putting pictures that they're not doing it to be

01:34:35.520 found um they're just like sharing with their friends on they torture the kids by posting

01:34:40.500 their family on social media okay and invading the kids privacy no i don't recommend trading 1.00

01:34:44.800 around your children i'm sure i don't think you guys do that it is but there's a lot of women

01:34:49.120 that do yeah and like i've seen women especially in the conservative circles like they yeah it's

01:34:55.440 terrible yeah so yeah i mean hopefully their intentions are good i just wanted to show people

01:35:00.000 a beautiful family is possible but you know i i'm with you if you get off as much most as possible

01:35:06.320 intentions who cares yeah results yeah yeah so anyways i think we're at about time did you have

01:35:12.640 fun i did yeah i want to thank you for coming out here i had a great time would you want to do it

01:35:18.080 again i'd be honored yeah okay um where can they find you and what do you have a speaking tour 1.00

01:35:24.000 yeah no we're traveling globally can we add in the speech social all the things women are doing wrong 1.00

01:35:32.160 oh believe i i i don't hold back i don't pull punches with the guys or the girls the whole 0.80

01:35:36.480 assembly i'm i try to be happy but demanding of both of them so for equal time about porn we're

01:35:43.520 going to talk about women's social media have equal time i don't go into the habits of social

01:35:48.800 i go into modesty with the women i i am very forthright and challenging the women on that

01:35:54.080 social media is gen z that's the number one problem oh no we bring it up social media but

01:35:59.440 women not both just women yeah women but not men they don't need to worry about how much time

01:36:04.240 they're spending on social media not at all not at all not at all okay so he could just just just

01:36:08.080 correct doom scroll all day and just rot yes just bed rot is good for a man yes okay that's okay

01:36:13.840 bed rot is good for yeah because they're not that's not gonna all the expectations you have 1.00

01:36:17.440 of women's bodies yeah that's good yeah that's fine they can don't get a job don't feed the poor 1.00

01:36:21.760 no men's social media it's when they go on it the women get naked like women men will watch anime 0.99

01:36:27.760 and then women get naked and come into it yeah they're not even looking for it well they're

01:36:32.320 putting themselves in an occasion where they know it just might happen but oh my goodness no i'm

01:36:36.320 telling you like if you look at reels and scroll them it's like fishing anime if you look at their 0.98

01:36:42.160 reels and then the the women just get naked and go into them well that's why they get they like 0.57

01:36:46.880 then the girl's like here's how i fish and then her tits are out i'm like you've got to be kidding 1.00

01:36:50.320 me i think it's smart for couples this is my thing total transparency on phones oh god 110 0.95

01:36:58.000 and if i can't be transparent with my phone then i'm not transparent with you i would say the women

01:37:02.080 have to be transparent and the men don't because the women the women will find something to complain

01:37:07.200 about i bet i bet you've been i bet you've been the perfect husband no i never i bet you've never 0.98

01:37:12.320 even strayed right i've never had any affairs yeah yeah and i bet she still found something

01:37:17.680 to complain about because that's women oh that's women she complains that i complain and we're just 1.00

01:37:22.240 trying to work through it yeah there's some don't let these ladies torture you you got to tell them

01:37:26.320 to shut up you got to tell them for a different approach but uh in terms of how people can find 1.00

01:37:31.280 us we have a website just chastity.com on instagram we put stuff out every day at jason

01:37:37.020 everett same thing on youtube at jason everett we've got this uh hiking thing we do called jp2

01:37:41.720 trails where we do the hikes yeah and uh yeah so we're traveling all around speaking at colleges

01:37:46.720 and high schools around america all year long and then you can see the schedule at chastity.com

01:37:51.060 cool well thanks thanks for having me and working this out and um we'll do it again it's been great

01:37:56.280 Thanks, bro.

01:37:56.840 All right.

Pearl - August 20, 2026

Catholic Activist Jason Evert Joins Pearl on The Sitdown

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