Pearl - September 30, 2025


Even After Recognizing Them For Their Own Merit - I Was Called a Colonizer


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

166.97247

Word count

2,184

Sentence count

161

Harmful content

Misogyny

2

sentences flagged

Toxicity

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about my experience with racism and how it affected me and how I dealt with it. I also talk about how I've dealt with racism in the past and how that affected me as a person.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 We are seeing an influx of racism on Twitter.
00:00:03.740 It took four, you know, people are putting their experiences in the chat.
00:00:06.780 It took four years to fire him.
00:00:08.720 And I would just kind of find these patterns like over and over again where it just seemed like, and I'm going to continue.
00:00:18.440 So I end up leaving the sales job.
00:00:21.620 I end up moving to London, and I start my show in London.
00:00:25.420 And when I start my show in London, I end up having like probably an 80% black staff.
00:00:31.100 So again, I don't care about race.
00:00:33.740 I don't want to see color.
00:00:34.840 It's not something I really, you know, if somebody's good at their job, why would I not hire them, you know?
00:00:42.680 And it wasn't until about a year, a year and a half into hiring probably 10, 20 black people.
00:00:54.560 But I got allegations of racism.
00:00:58.180 I was told I was a colonizer.
00:01:01.140 I had a colonial mindset, whatever that means.
00:01:05.500 And I had all of these YouTubers I worked with throw me under the bus because I interviewed somebody they disagreed with.
00:01:16.120 Or I said things that they disagreed.
00:01:18.220 These were people that worked with me and were, I actually would have considered friends.
00:01:21.560 I hung out with them even outside of doing the show.
00:01:26.140 But it was like the first chance they got to, and this was with a 100, almost 100% black staff.
00:01:33.820 They threw the racism allegation at me.
00:01:36.240 And to be honest, guys, when this happened, I was devastated.
00:01:40.240 Like I didn't really talk about it online.
00:01:42.540 And I think I came off really awkward because I just did not see it coming.
00:01:47.500 I literally, I remember I was playing volleyball at the time.
00:01:53.480 And what happened was I interviewed this guy that was really controversial.
00:01:57.120 And by the way, I've always said I'll have anyone on the show.
00:02:01.140 And they knew me when I was interviewing 1,000 people that were controversial.
00:02:06.140 Like we would argue, we would debate about stuff.
00:02:08.340 And they basically disagreed with somebody that I had on.
00:02:11.420 And so they end up, I remember, they end up making like videos about me.
00:02:20.340 And it wasn't, I don't really care about having videos made about me by people I don't know.
00:02:25.800 But it's one thing when like people you interacted with like every day or you spent like a week with
00:02:31.900 make like hit pieces.
00:02:35.240 Like I don't think anybody understands like the pit in your stomach that drops when somebody does that.
00:02:40.200 Because anything, anyone that knows you personally, they take it as gospel.
00:02:45.200 And this was like a canon event for me.
00:02:47.260 This was like, I can't even put into words how sad I was that this happened.
00:02:52.380 I didn't really care about my reputation.
00:02:55.260 I didn't really care.
00:02:56.460 Like, you know, I already had a bad one doing what I do.
00:02:59.240 But what bothered me was like these were people that I trusted.
00:03:03.380 One of them, I actually let stay in my family's house because we had like, he booked, like there's
00:03:12.440 something happened with the studio where he couldn't record and he had to stay an extra
00:03:15.740 day.
00:03:16.580 And so I said, hey, my family has an extra room.
00:03:19.860 You can just stay there so you don't have to book an extra hotel.
00:03:22.240 That's nice.
00:03:22.940 That's actually going out of my way. 0.90
00:03:24.940 And maybe, maybe I shouldn't, maybe I was dumb, but I don't know. 0.89
00:03:28.160 I just grew up. 0.93
00:03:28.980 I grew up like that.
00:03:29.980 Like, my family always would let people stay in our extra rooms.
00:03:32.940 Like, we housed alcoholics that needed a place to go.
00:03:36.860 Like, relatives that had issues with alcohol, drugs, or just being young and needed to get
00:03:41.840 on their feet.
00:03:42.420 So, not that that's, it was only a day, right?
00:03:45.120 I'm not saying I'm like Mother Teresa or anything.
00:03:47.080 But do you know what it's like to bring somebody into your house and have them make a hit piece?
00:03:50.660 Do you know what that's like?
00:03:53.180 And, and what they would do is they wouldn't outright say I was racist, but they would allude
00:03:59.660 it so hard that they might as well.
00:04:01.840 They might as well.
00:04:03.440 I also had a co-host that I did this with for a year and a half.
00:04:07.360 I had a really, one of my staff stole a camera.
00:04:13.520 And I, what I'm not trying to do is, again, these are generalizations, not all, not all,
00:04:19.340 not all.
00:04:19.680 There was many of them that did not do this.
00:04:21.960 But I just never had the same experiences with other cultures.
00:04:27.100 And this is just me being honest here.
00:04:29.100 I met other cultures.
00:04:30.520 I did not have that same experience.
00:04:34.040 And I remember at the time, like, I don't think people realize how much that really affected
00:04:39.340 me.
00:04:39.800 I was bawling my eyes out crying because it just felt like all of these people that I really
00:04:46.280 tried to help, like, one of them, one of them we had taken out to dinner, like him and this
00:04:52.460 other girl that came out on our show.
00:04:54.740 We hosted them for like a week straight, did all this content.
00:04:58.080 And for about a year, he made all these hit pieces on me, taking things I said out of context,
00:05:03.580 just trying to make me look bad, racist, whatever, and just making fun of me for a year.
00:05:08.340 This was somebody, like, I'd spoken to.
00:05:11.280 And so I understand that it's not like these people owed me any loyalty, but I think there's
00:05:21.720 like a basic decency that you kind of expect from people when you go out of your way to
00:05:28.300 be nice to them.
00:05:29.220 And I learned fast that you can't, I'll tell you what.
00:05:33.500 But, and I would say that was my moment personally of black fatigue.
00:05:38.660 It wasn't really the BLM.
00:05:40.840 It was not that guy doing that in college.
00:05:43.380 It was not the guy that was calling fax lines at work.
00:05:48.300 I never really cared.
00:05:50.440 I mean, none of that really affected me too much.
00:05:53.000 It was when, and I always say the news hits your real life two to four years later, and
00:05:59.060 it was about four years after the BLM riots, where now my personal life is getting affected.
00:06:09.120 All because, all because they disagreed with somebody I had on.
00:06:13.360 And one of them, I actually tried to talk to behind the scenes and just say, hey, like,
00:06:17.840 what's your problem?
00:06:19.100 Like, you know, you know, talk face to face, not on social media.
00:06:22.900 And my point of this is not to rehash the drama or bring it up.
00:06:27.480 I've moved on in my life.
00:06:30.220 My point is that at some point, you know, you can't keep calling white people that are 0.67
00:06:38.860 nice to you racist and not expect us to get tired of it, especially when we're nice to
00:06:43.060 you.
00:06:44.560 Okay, let me keep going.
00:06:45.960 On top of that, I got ambushed on the only, like, black-owned network I went on, you could 1.00
00:06:53.420 say.
00:06:53.760 They didn't pay me.
00:06:55.580 And you saw it in the beginning of this.
00:06:57.340 They never paid me.
00:06:58.040 It's been a year and a half.
00:07:00.600 And the girl crashed out on me on live, and they're just screaming about how I'm a white
00:07:05.260 woman.
00:07:05.860 And that's what they did.
00:07:06.600 Like, it's like, they can scream at you about how you're wrong for being white, privileged.
00:07:14.200 And you know what?
00:07:15.020 I am white, privileged.
00:07:17.100 But it's like, but if I notice any patterns, then I'm the bad guy, and that's always how
00:07:23.860 it goes.
00:07:26.280 On top of that, I end up, after these hit pieces happen to me, it damaged my reputation
00:07:32.620 actually so much that it was very awkward for me in normal life.
00:07:36.520 Like, people don't talk about that aspect of the job.
00:07:38.940 Where it's might not, people might not outright bully you, but when you go to, like, volleyball
00:07:44.360 and half the team's not talking to you magically after this happens, it's very awkward for you
00:07:49.920 in normal life.
00:07:50.660 And so at some point, you know, white people, we really do get fatigued. 0.88
00:07:59.540 We do.
00:08:02.000 Now, a lot of the pushback I get is, well, what about other races?
00:08:05.440 And look, there's things I am fatigued with white people on, okay? 0.99
00:08:08.960 There's things I'm fatigued.
00:08:10.440 We could go into other races, but, you know, this is the topic today, so we're going to keep
00:08:14.840 going.
00:08:15.860 So, you know, I think what just keeps happening is, what I've noticed is with this topic,
00:08:22.920 they really do the same thing they do with women, where they keep gaslighting, and that's 1.00
00:08:28.300 kind of what happened for years with white people. 0.91
00:08:31.300 They would keep saying that it was, you know, that it was the white people that were racist,
00:08:36.220 and it was the white people that, you know, we had done, you know, we were just attacking
00:08:42.540 them or whatever, but, you know, at some point, you know, and I would just say at some point, 0.51
00:08:49.120 you know, white people get tired of being abused for being nice.
00:08:53.920 And that's kind of what I see, you know, and I follow some of these cases, and I just
00:08:58.880 don't understand it.
00:09:00.260 Like, you know, they said that there was a fight that broke out in a track meet.
00:09:06.280 You know, fights happen in high schools.
00:09:08.680 That happens all the time.
00:09:09.900 You can hit each other.
00:09:11.100 Like, you know, people used to be able to fight at high schools and not be scared that
00:09:14.940 someone would have a weapon. 0.81
00:09:16.580 And now, you know, a black kid stabs a white kid and he gets half a million dollars raised. 1.00
00:09:21.600 Like, what bullshit is that? 1.00
00:09:23.340 It's bullshit that all these people donated all this money to BLM. 1.00
00:09:26.680 What's changed? 0.99
00:09:27.460 What's different?
00:09:29.280 You know, they just keep taking advantage of white people's guilt.
00:09:34.620 Because I would say, generally, we're not trying to hurt anybody. 0.70
00:09:37.680 We're not trying to even see color, but it's like they just keep milking this and milking
00:09:42.640 it.
00:09:43.560 And at some point, we get tired.
00:09:48.540 You can tell me if he's on.
00:09:50.460 I know he wanted to give his two cents today.
00:09:54.160 Okay, no problem.
00:09:55.820 No problem.
00:09:58.520 Fatigue.
00:09:59.720 Sorry.
00:10:01.120 Black fatigue. 0.88
00:10:02.260 So, I don't know.
00:10:05.500 You know, and this isn't, and I'd like to say, it's not like you think as a white person.
00:10:12.700 I'll bring him on in a second.
00:10:14.220 It's not like you think that all black people, you know, there's stuff I love about black people.
00:10:19.280 And I really do.
00:10:20.220 And I'd like to make that very clear.
00:10:21.740 There is.
00:10:22.140 But it's just at a certain point, you guys can't keep calling us racist over everything.
00:10:32.400 I actually have a chart I made of how racism starts, and we're going to do it in a second.
00:10:37.160 You can bring it up, but I'll.
00:10:40.020 So, when you sit back down, I'll get up.
00:10:42.640 Does that make sense?
00:10:43.160 Yeah, okay.
00:10:43.420 So, and it's not like, it's not like, I'd like to be clear.
00:10:50.060 There are things I love about black people.
00:10:52.100 There are.
00:10:53.580 You know, here we go. 0.87
00:10:58.480 I think they have a better sense of humor than white people. 0.71
00:11:01.400 I think they're more fun.
00:11:02.420 Like, if I do street interviews, if I interview a white person, it's like a boring answer.
00:11:07.760 But if I interview a black person, I mean, they're a ton of fun.
00:11:11.640 You know, they're better at sports.
00:11:14.660 I love freestyling with black people. 1.00
00:11:18.880 I went to a cookout once in the hood, and it was a lot of fun.
00:11:22.360 I had a great time.
00:11:23.360 I got MVP of kickball.
00:11:27.620 They have the lowest suicide rate.
00:11:29.500 They do kill each other a lot, but they do have the lowest suicide rate, and I do respect that.
00:11:35.820 Like, white people, we just, you know, we just off.
00:11:38.120 But, you know, it's like, they're like, if I'm going to go out, I'm going to go out in, like, a shootout.
00:11:43.720 Like, I'm not taking myself out.
00:11:48.200 But it's just like, at some point, you guys can't keep calling us racist all the time and just expecting us to just take it.
00:11:57.760 Like, no, it's not like, hello, Pearl, big fan.
00:12:07.720 I have a question unrelated to today's topic, maybe for some other days, but I would love to know who are your female role models, if any. 0.95
00:12:15.560 Let me do my chart, and then I'll bring on Doug.
00:12:22.240 I do have the flowchart of racism.
00:12:26.760 Now, you may be asking yourself, how does racism happen?
00:12:30.980 Now, to be fair, there are some real racists, but I don't think people start that way.
00:12:35.500 We are seeing an influx of racism on Twitter. 0.96
00:12:41.000 Now, again, some of these are real racists, but what happened is you're nice to black people. 0.97
00:12:47.500 Then you're called racist, stolen from, attacked. 0.98
00:12:54.080 And then there's black fatigue, and then there's real racism.
00:12:58.120 And then you forget, and then it just keeps going.
00:13:02.360 So, yeah, that's what we got here.