Pearl - Gen Z Women Who Have Ran From Their Insane Mothers

00:00:00.000 i had to make my own family with my animals and i'm happy i'm happy with my family yeah i don't 0.97

00:00:07.120 know she seems kind of crazy she seems crazy but her mom's probably crazy it doesn't come from

00:00:11.680 nowhere gen z is a little bit different because uh we're kind of in an age where you can actually 0.99

00:00:18.400 cut people off and there's pros and cons to this you know the pro is your crazy mother you can just

00:00:24.000 never speak to again move states where in the old days you would have to figure out a way to get

00:00:28.800 along because everyone would stay in the same place now with moving i mean you can reinvent

00:00:33.600 yourself like a million times like it's never ending how many times you can reinvent yourself

00:00:41.200 you know so this gives gen z women um the opportunity to never talk to their parents again

00:00:47.280 and you know i hate to say it but i think when it's they're not talking to their mother it's kind 0.97

00:00:53.280 of based and when it's not talking to their father it's sad and they've been brainwashed

00:00:58.800 my parents you don't feel safe oh no or sometimes we gotta we're gonna interpret if these women are 0.88

00:01:05.440 um it's valid or not valid because i do think there's valid reasons to cut off talking to 1.00

00:01:11.120 crazy mothers um but sometimes they just go to super left but before i get started guys make

00:01:18.800 sure um you like the video and also we're doing private dining events so 20 people tops um i i

00:01:25.280 think i'm really only going to sell like 10 tickets so um two dinners one's in dallas one's

00:01:30.800 in new york city we're also probably going to throw in a behind the scenes of a podcast so while

00:01:35.040 i'm in those two places i'll probably do a podcast you guys can come along and see what it's like to

00:01:39.600 do one so anyways all right the link to that's in the description they refuse to take accountability

00:01:45.520 for what for how they raised me even though i told them you know candidly hey you guys are

00:01:51.840 emotionally immature guys made love feel conditional for me they heard that and instead

00:01:57.900 of asking me why i felt that way or apologizing they just said no we're really good parents i

00:02:04.500 don't know what you're talking about and like gaslit me basically there's a lot of other things

00:02:09.000 they did that made me feel unsafe around them but ultimately like my nervous system when i'm around

00:02:14.440 my parents is like really out of whack thing is like we as children like we don't want to go no

00:02:21.300 contact this is like the last resort thing it's like the very last thing we want to do it's you

00:02:25.680 know after having had conversations after being like super honest about how i feel as an adult now

00:02:31.200 about my childhood just a lack of accountability the emotional maturity and like the fact that i

00:02:38.540 like don't remember my childhood and all i on the small bits i do remember are just like really sad

00:02:43.100 memories all of that just i don't know um that's something i really struggled with because like

00:02:48.080 for a long time i felt so much guilt for feeling this way about my parents like i thought i was

00:02:52.720 like an awful human being for not liking my parents i don't know if i i'm gonna say i'm

00:02:58.400 gonna say in therapy i learned like you know what they're supposed to make me feel loved

00:03:04.480 and nobody can make you feel anything yeah all right let's see who's next this lady here

00:03:11.120 one i was working with like a life coach sorry i'm like really

00:03:16.280 but i was working with like a life coach at the time he was like

00:03:23.980 the next day my dad calls we have the options and now pick up the phone

00:03:26.920 i didn't even know i had that option my entire life i have not only not only like had my dad

00:03:36.000 bother me but i never knew i could like control his access and then once you learn that you can

00:03:43.440 i did and for the first time in my life in 2021 when i moved to seoul i blocked him i've never

00:03:48.320 well i lied i blocked my dad and i moved out of my house the first time when i moved in with

00:03:53.840 my then boyfriend and then i moved back into his house i've blocked my dad twice in my life

00:04:00.400 and i've made up with him twice in my life but today we're civil today we are civil and i'm

00:04:05.680 really grateful for that i see i don't know what do you guys think put in the cut this one i'm

00:04:13.680 undecided on all right let's see her marks the two-year anniversary of cutting off all

00:04:18.960 communications with my mom kind of crazy face is probably a good reason but she does text me

00:04:25.440 periodically every couple months just to like drop some kind of hint or try to bait me into

00:04:31.920 talking to her but I have not budged. And today she decided to send me another message asking me

00:04:38.820 how the flooding is and if I need any help which does sound very sweet but ultimately she does

00:04:45.340 these to kind of get back into my good graces but then the toxic cycle of berating me just happens

00:04:51.540 over and over again. It's also crazy just reflecting now to see that I was living previously in

00:04:58.120 hawaii in the u.s and because i lost my job back then and i had to move to thailand to reduce the

00:05:07.180 cost of living and also pursue my dream of being a jewelry maker she does actually not know i don't

00:05:14.240 live in hawaii anymore and my mom is a chinese tiger mom right so she always tells me not to go

00:05:21.820 outside not to travel because it's too dangerous so imagine maybe yeah a helicopter mom i'm gonna

00:05:27.260 i'm gonna be on the girl's side like hey mom i've been living abroad in southeast asia because 1.00

00:05:33.900 here's the thing a controlling mother will torture you for life they will torture you 1.00

00:05:39.420 oh ask me how i know always getting in your business turning people against you going to 0.98

00:05:44.300 mutual friends it's just it is hell on earth having because here's the thing they emotionally

00:05:50.460 torture you it's not even like you would almost rather have a big fight than be emotionally 0.99

00:05:56.220 long-term torture they'll turn your kids against you your husband for two years there ain't no

00:06:02.140 flooding right now because it's not the rain season actually today has been a pretty hard day

00:06:07.500 i will go into it probably in a future video soon i have taken a break for the past two-ish month

00:06:16.860 two and a half months from social media because i've experienced extreme burnout yet again seems

00:06:23.980 like this is just a cycle and now that i'm going to be having a little bit more time i'm gonna

00:06:30.620 slowly come back and today because it was like a really difficult day i had a moment of weakness

00:06:36.700 and thought do i just talk to my mom again and beg her for help but no no we cannot because

00:06:45.260 the whole reason of no contact was because i needed to draw my boundaries and my boundaries

00:06:52.220 stay no matter what no matter what condition i am they never say what she does no matter where i am

00:06:59.000 in life my boundaries are going to stay and after two years i have to say cutting off all contact

00:07:05.460 with mom has still been the best decision of my life obviously it's painful right because it's

00:07:10.320 my own mother but my mental health is not no longer taking a hit from her it's very peaceful

00:07:18.060 i'll let you know and i just have to deal with the circumstances around me and that's already

00:07:24.700 enough for me to handle so not having her on top has been

00:07:31.580 i'm really grateful for that but of course i'm still sad but that is the reality

00:07:37.420 all right let's see who's next talking to my parents about three years ago and about five

00:07:43.580 years before that i found myself in a phone call with my mother where i had just felt god call me

00:07:50.060 to attend seminary school and i was so excited to share this news with her i finally knew what i

00:07:55.660 wanted to do with my life i finally had some direction i thought she'd be so happy i thought

00:08:00.300 she'd be so excited with me and she was anything but uh and i was just shattered coming off that 0.93

00:08:07.580 call because i i don't know when women talk like this i think they're crazy i was just 1.00

00:08:13.580 It's really common in the Christian circles. 1.00

00:08:16.000 I really wanted to share that moment with her and have that.

00:08:19.060 And I called an older mentor of mine, and I told her what happened.

00:08:23.240 And she said, Trisha, looking back when you've gone to your mom with these big ideas,

00:08:29.080 has she ever met you in the way that you expected her to meet you today?

00:08:34.220 And I thought about it, and I said, no.

00:08:36.720 And she goes, then you need to stop going to the hardware store for oranges.

00:08:41.620 And I had no idea what that meant.

00:08:43.200 thought she was having some sort of neurological episode on the phone but then she clarified and

00:08:47.520 she goes your if you go to a hardware store and ask for oranges they're going to tell you no

00:08:52.320 because they've never had oranges to give stop going to people asking them for things that

00:08:57.440 they've never had to get actually that's actually true i don't know so i i think if you watch this

00:09:03.840 channel you can kind of gather me and my mother don't get along and there's just a point where

00:09:10.320 you have to realize that she can't do it she's gonna be insufferable forever

00:09:17.440 yeah that's that's actually true because if i don't know if you keep wanting something from

00:09:23.280 your mom that you're never gonna get it's just it's impossible it's never gonna happen today i

00:09:28.640 want to say to somebody not only should we stop going to people looking for them to provide us

00:09:34.880 with what they've never had to give we need to stop going to people looking to them to provide

00:09:40.800 us with what only god can give that's today's word i stop yeah okay she seems crazy but i kind of

00:09:47.280 agree topic i don't think i ever like have fully talked about like what is her voice going no

00:09:52.240 contact and like the show that it was because that happened during peak week of my first ever

00:09:57.600 bodybuilding show when you're supposed crazy i think more of these have been about mothers

00:10:00.800 than fathers. I, I, you know, I think Gen Z women have been tortured so much by our mothers

00:10:05.680 that a lot of us are more pro dad than pro mom. Keeping stress low. Yeah. Which they fucking knew

00:10:12.240 my whole family fucking knew day before a show, I'm getting sent nasty fucking text messages from 1.00

00:10:17.040 my sister. I was like, you guys are literally fucking bat shit, fucking crazy, miserable 1.00

00:10:22.080 fucks. Insane. Anyway, I sent the woman who gave birth to me a text. It was pretty much like being 1.00

00:10:27.800 really nice because again I've never had any sort of confrontation like I was scared shitless of my

00:10:33.560 parents I was genuinely scared shitless of my parents I felt fear more than I ever felt love

00:10:39.220 compassion anything positive I was terrified of my parents because they wanted me to be I

00:10:46.580 essentially sent this text saying like you use your kids as punching bags I had to make my own

00:10:52.860 family with my animals and i'm happy i'm happy with my family yeah i don't know she's she seems 0.96

00:10:58.940 kind of crazy she seems crazy but her mom's probably crazy it doesn't come from nowhere

00:11:04.540 um and i was like if you ever can do some healing maybe we can build up this bond again

00:11:10.380 but until then like like no i'm not being on your life essentially and i blocked her but this was

00:11:15.580 back when like you'd still get messages on your ipad or computer even if you block someone on

00:11:20.220 on your phone so i didn't say this until like a month later she had then messaged me back and was

00:11:25.360 like this isn't just about me you're toxic and i don't want you around me are we serious are we 0.99

00:11:33.080 serious come on like imagine getting told like hey like you treat me and make me feel like shit 1.00

00:11:39.000 and you use your kids as punch yeah do you know what there's so many mothers that bruh my mom is 0.99

00:11:44.080 same way that was crazy oh so crazy i have so many stories

00:11:51.600 that's the thing dude it's crazy i am almost 30 i'm 29 and i get scared to talk about how crazy

00:12:00.160 my mom is because my mom will crash out and then she'll you know it's just that that's what like

00:12:08.080 honestly as a daughter that i don't talk to my mom um that's part of it is you're so sick of like

00:12:16.400 the crash outs and the manipulation it's just easier to not deal with them um problem is 0.97

00:12:23.680 this girl's probably crazy too unfortunately i i can't do this no are you no no you are the toxic

00:12:32.560 one hey what the do i ever do while we're on the topic i don't think i ever like have fully talked 0.96

00:12:37.600 about like okay let's keep going so i don't know how personal i should get here but today i am

00:12:43.440 feeling like sharing i don't have a relationship with my parents and this wasn't a decision that

00:12:48.800 i took lightly it was something that happened over the course of a couple years and multiple

00:12:54.080 attempts at connection up until the point where i realized that it goes both ways and that there

00:13:00.880 was nothing that i could do on my end if they couldn't do anything on their end they were very

00:13:05.840 negative and judgmental and the reason why i hated myself for so long because they had very high

00:13:13.360 expectations um and no matter what you did you could never appease them i remember when i was

00:13:18.880 18 i was working two different jobs and i was in college full-time and that still wasn't enough for

00:13:24.960 them because i also wasn't home to watch my younger siblings there was constant the other

00:13:29.360 thing a lot of mothers don't want to do their job so i oh my gosh i know so many i can think of two 1.00

00:13:34.720 girls i knew from childhood they both don't want kids because they spent their childhood taking 1.00

00:13:40.800 care of their younger brothers for their mother and that's what they did judgment and criticism

00:13:46.160 and anger in the household you were always hyper vigilant and you would be criticized

00:13:51.280 and judged for your looks your appearance your personality i always felt like i was a burden

00:13:56.480 and like i was too much and that's something that i'm still working through today if you can relate

00:14:02.400 to any of that, and part of you is scared to leave because of what everybody else will say,

00:14:09.120 I want to tell you that choosing yourself is going to be seen as selfish by everybody,

00:14:15.560 but you have to get over that if you want to live a better life for yourself.

00:14:20.620 It gets to the point where it's like, are you going to put yourself first? Multiple people

00:14:23.960 told me I needed to just leave and focus on myself, and I couldn't believe it, and it wasn't

00:14:29.560 until a literal police officer a complete stranger to me who only witnessed who didn't know even half

00:14:36.120 of the story who only witnessed one incident that happened one night for him to tell me that i needed

00:14:43.880 to get out and take care of myself that was what it took for me to finally do that and once i did

00:14:49.160 gosh like that was the best decision i could have ever made i ended up moving out whenever i was 19

00:14:53.400 and i had to start basically from scratch and this was hard to do but it was so rewarding and

00:14:58.920 and I would do it all over again, despite how difficult it was, because it was a couple years

00:15:03.900 of difficulty for me to not have to deal with that anymore. I was able to move out on my own.

00:15:08.480 I didn't even know how to drive at the time. I didn't have a car, but I figured it out. I looked

00:15:13.460 at everything around me, and I pulled whatever resources I could. I got help from anybody who

00:15:17.980 was willing to give it. Even though it's hard to do that, you deserve that. People who care about

00:15:22.040 you, and there are people who care about you, they want to help you. You just need to see that. You

00:15:25.300 need to see that they are a resource and that you're not a burden to them if they're offering 0.99

00:15:30.680 help and they know your situation take it and I'll tell you everybody thought I was stupid

00:15:35.200 not everybody there's a few people who believed in me and those are people who mattered the most 0.98

00:15:39.100 right but people thought that I was stupid and naive because sometimes I was a little bit naive

00:15:44.520 but I wasn't stupid right they didn't think that I could move out on my own they thought that I was 0.92

00:15:48.780 going to come crawling back for help so I got it on my own and at one point when I was working at

00:15:54.240 the vape shop, I was literally making $10 an hour and paying all of my own bills. Okay. Like I was

00:15:59.680 barely making it, but I was happiest I had ever been. Okay. I was eating peanut butter sandwiches

00:16:06.000 and like four different types of ramen and heavily budgeting, but it was so much better than the life

00:16:13.400 I was living. Like it was so worth it. A few years later, I would have never expected that I'd be

00:16:17.880 living in a duplex with a partner who accepts everything about me. Not only accepts, but like

00:16:21.960 encourages every aspect about me i grew up with like at the time no proper role models because

00:16:30.040 all the adults in my life were struggling i remember in class whenever they asked oh who

00:16:34.440 do you look up to everybody looked up to their parents and i could not tell you who i looked up

00:16:39.080 to i have so much freedom now it's crazy i can't believe that i ever like i used to be so hyper

00:16:45.160 vigilant i don't have to worry about that i can do whatever i want and it doesn't bother anybody

00:16:49.400 and it's fully encouraged i'm never considered too much i know that i'm of value i feel that i'm of

00:16:54.280 value i can't believe that i used to i don't know see i get i start to wonder who's right when they

00:17:00.440 say oh i'm not too much usually you are too much to be surrounded by so much criticism and that was

00:17:06.440 my norm like life was yeah that's mothers do that fathers don't fathers will correct you

00:17:12.680 mothers will criticize you and there's a difference tell because of what i was surrounded by yeah

00:17:17.320 All right, let's, let's keep going.

00:17:19.600 Message is asking when I knew it was time to go no contact with my mom.

00:17:23.700 I'm going to make a comparison that might not click for everyone.

00:17:25.920 And it's not, I'm not trying to be offensive in any sort of way, but the way that I look

00:17:29.340 at it is very similar to the way that addicts to drugs or alcohol need to get to a point

00:17:33.580 where they themselves want to seek help.

00:17:36.220 That's when I knew that it was time for me to go no contact with my mom. 0.99

00:17:41.480 There was all this inside or outside influence of people saying like, your mom is toxic. 0.97

00:17:45.280 You shouldn't give her the energy. 1.00

00:17:46.420 it's not right for her to treat you like that and i had blinders on and i would be like but that's

00:17:50.600 my mom like she's my best friend that's my mom you can't talk about my mom like that i would get so

00:17:54.280 defensive and i would fight with like my husband and i fought about my mom all the time all the

00:17:59.660 time and i just wouldn't listen and i got to a point where i would like break down have any of

00:18:04.240 you did any of you get divorced because of the mother in the daughter's ear and i'm like you

00:18:08.020 don't understand like i have to be there for my mom literally i'm getting a stress rep

00:18:13.340 and then it got to a point where i just didn't want to go up to bat for her anymore and that's

00:18:19.920 when i really started seeing things for what they were and i could like take a step back and look

00:18:23.140 and i started like piecing things together and this was a lie this was made up this was manipulation

00:18:28.980 and i knew then that eventually i would be no contact with my mom the wedding the event of the

00:18:37.200 wedding that happened that was this is my straw this is it this is this is the perfect thing to

00:18:42.440 cut her off from my life. So you really have to get to a point where you just don't want to put

00:18:48.200 the energy in anymore. And when you get to that point, you will know. And I hope it doesn't get

00:18:52.600 to that point for you. I hope that there is something that turned around for you and you're

00:18:55.920 able to communicate with your mom. But I didn't have that luxury. I didn't have a mom that was

00:19:00.180 open to communicating because anytime that I told her how I was feeling, she would flip it around

00:19:04.400 and say, well, I'm just the worst mother in the world. I mean, if you open the narcissist playbook,

00:19:09.380 she was like literally reading lines from it and there was no getting through to her and by the way

00:19:14.900 this is all coming from someone who has their mom's handwriting tattooed on their back i didn't

00:19:18.580 think i was going to be here hate is hate and love are close because because that's the thing the

00:19:22.660 closer the mom is to you the more she can just warp your opinion all right guys um i love you

00:19:28.660 thanks for watching um let me know what you think in the comments and i'll see you next time

Pearl - August 06, 2026

Gen Z Women Who Have Ran From Their Insane Mothers

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