Pearl - May 08, 2026


How Older Women Cope About The WALL

Topics
gaslighting to eternity age gap relationships
Mentioned
Synonyms Kendrick Nadja Spiegelman Jamieson Webster Emily Liebert Field Reports Chris Brown Baby Girl Tristan
Nobody Wants to Date Single Moms! Even WOMEN Hate Women

Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

157.18

Word count

1,962

Sentence count

91

Harmful content

Misogyny

21

sentences flagged

Toxicity

7

sentences flagged

Hate speech

26

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode I talk about how we are all going to get old and ugly and bitter as we get older. I also talk about father time and how we have to learn to deal with it and how to survive it

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00 the coping I have seen is just gaslighting to eternity. So let's talk about taking L. So women 1.00
00:00:06 get older in life and, you know, father time is just something we cannot get away from. Father 0.97
00:00:13 time is just something everybody, you know, comes to. Women hit the wall, men hit the wall much 0.66
00:00:19 later, but like, let's keep it a buck. I'm a dude at 70 is not pulling what he was at 35 or 40. 0.57
00:00:26 you know what i mean like let's keep it a buck it comes for everyone but it comes for women
00:00:30 especially hard because the 70 year old ninja can still date 50 40 30. the 70 year old woman um i 1.00
00:00:38 mean it's kind of an l like she can date uh i mean she could sleep with a lot of people i i actually 0.99
00:00:43 you know i gotta be honest and she can i mean i saw this video of a old sex worker that said some
00:00:49 of her clients were 20 something year old guys i'm like fellas what are we doing what are we doing
00:00:56 why are we doing this father time does come for everybody and nobody can avoid it one day and you
00:01:04 know i i mean pretty much now i'm 29 so my eggs are all dried up i'm old and ugly you know and 1.00
00:01:11 i'm just gonna get older and uglier and that's just an out right as women um and women in general 0.97
00:01:17 you know at one point we're young we're hot we're youthful we're full of life we're bright-eyed and 0.92
00:01:24 bushy-tailed and then you know life takes it out of us and we get old ugly and bitter old ugly and
00:01:31 bitter and this is an l um it's an l that we'll have to live with the rest of our lives um but 1.00
00:01:36 modern women win in their youth in their in our youth we get attention from the highest status 1.00
00:01:43 men on the entire planet and get opportunities that only one can dream of. I mean, I could speak
00:01:52 for myself and I could speak for other women. I've met women that have gotten invited to Chris
00:01:58 Brown's parties, Drake's parties, NBA players parties, flown out to Dubai. And as women,
00:02:06 we win in our youth. And when the high status, we are used to being high status. We're used to
00:02:13 our opinions being important we're used to people caring about what we do i was even thinking how
00:02:19 as a woman like everyone cares about who you're dating i was like i was thinking about like in
00:02:23 my career how many questions i get about that and blah blah blah men it's just not the same nobody
00:02:29 cares right because i was thinking about this nobody cares nobody um nobody cares at all
00:02:36 So let's talk about coping. Coping refers to the cognitive and behavioral strategies used to manage,
00:02:45 reduce, or withstand stressful situations, emotions, or difficult life challenges.
00:02:51 It involves active efforts to solve problems or handle negative emotions. Common examples include
00:02:59 exercising, seeking social support, positive reframing, and planning. While poor coping can
00:03:06 involve avoidance, the key aspects of coping, the mental and physical effort to handle stress or
00:03:13 difficult circumstances. There's problem-focused coping, which is addressing the cause of the
00:03:19 stress, planning, emotion-focused, managing the emotional distress, and meaning-focused,
00:03:26 using cognitive strategies to understand and find meaning in the situation. Now there's types of
00:03:33 coping, positive coping and negative coping, healthy strategies like exercise. You know,
00:03:38 it's like, as a woman, when you get old, uh, some women like myself get addicted to the gym. It's
00:03:44 like, we'll never get that vigor of our youth, but at least we can get the vigor of benching,
00:03:50 you know, one 50 or three deadlifting 300 therapy. Um, we could argue if that's healthy
00:03:59 or positive, but there are positive therapists on the planet that do, you know, help. So there's
00:04:05 social support, you know, making friends, blah, blah, blah. And then there's negative coping
00:04:10 strategies, unhealthy strategies like avoidance, substance, youth, or social withdrawal. Active
00:04:17 coping. She used active coping by creating a strict study schedule to manage her exam.
00:04:24 Synonyms, managing, handling, dealing with, navigating, overcoming, surviving.
00:04:30 Now look, I'm not here to say there's never positive coping, but the coping I have seen
00:04:35 is just gaslighting to eternity. 1.00
00:04:38 Look at ladies, as we get older, we get uglier. 1.00
00:04:43 Hello. 1.00
00:04:43 We get our eggs get used up.
00:04:46 We get pumped, dumped, thrown back to the streets once again.
00:04:50 life makes us bitter nothing is new to us and you know there's two ways that you can really
00:04:58 after you know as somebody that's taken my fair share of L's in life publicly and privately
00:05:02 um you know life life is beautiful in a way because no matter how many L's you've taken 0.84
00:05:11 you can get back up and keep fucking trying and I'm going to use the female point of view but I 1.00
00:05:17 could also use the male point of view i know a woman that got married at fucking i need to stop 1.00
00:05:23 dropping f-bombs i know a woman see when you get old you start swearing more i know a woman that 0.99
00:05:28 got married at 50 years old now this is the exception most of you ladies this will not happen 0.96
00:05:34 yet but you know how she got married she didn't give up she didn't stop trying and that's one way
00:05:39 i think that's a healthy way to cope you know you're old as a woman you become a single mother
00:05:44 discount that's a that's a good way to cope right um you know you get divorced now you're really on
00:05:54 sale the guys you like get it for free immediately honey do you want to come right over but then
00:06:02 there's the sad type of cope the cope where you can't accept your circumstances there's nothing 0.93
00:06:09 sadder than a single mother that thinks she has the value of a young woman. And there's nothing 1.00
00:06:16 sadder than an old woman that says she dates young men because she wants to. Like that is her first 1.00
00:06:28 choice. We all know why old women date young men because the young men can't get the women their 1.00
00:06:35 age because the young women are banging the old men, right? Now, let's talk about humility. 0.55
00:06:41 Humility is the quality of having a modest, honest view of one's own importance, free from pride,
00:06:49 arrogance, or the need to feel superior to others. It is often described as thinking of yourself less
00:06:56 rather than thinking less of yourself. Key facets include recognizing one's limitations,
00:07:03 valuing others perspectives and acknowledging strengths without boasting
00:07:08 key aspects of humility admitting mistakes openly acknowledging when you are wrong
00:07:16 and don't know something rather than acting superior seeking feedback actively soliciting
00:07:23 input and learning from others regardless of their status giving credit sharing or redirecting
00:07:29 credit for success is to others instead of taking all the glory. Respectful listening. Engaging
00:07:35 respectfully with others' own perspectives, especially when they differ from your own.
00:07:41 Service and kindness. Putting others' needs before your own and helping those in need.
00:07:46 Reflective practices. As seen in traditions like Christianity, this can mean maintaining a 0.54
00:07:53 lowliness of mind, focusing on service and avoiding self-centeredness. Synonyms of humility,
00:08:00 modest, humbleness, meekness, lowliness, submission. Humility is not lack of self-esteem
00:08:08 or self-deprecation. It does not mean believing you're worthless. It means having a balanced,
00:08:14 accurate view of yourself. Now, humility is supposed to come with age because life is
00:08:20 supposed to have humbled us all unfortunately um unfortunately women just seem to double down 0.97
00:08:28 so we're going to read we're going to start read with a new york times article of women coping
00:08:33 okay older women are in demand by younger men see what if this wasn't a coping article it would say
00:08:41 older women young men are settling for older women because young women are too difficult to get 0.97
00:08:48 and they are rejecting them. Younger men are increasingly seeking out older women and it's
00:08:55 not just a dating trend. It's a shift in power, desire, and modern masculinity. In this episode
00:09:01 of The Opinions, the opinion cultural editor Nadja Spiegelman talks with writer and psychoanalyst
00:09:09 Jamieson Webster and Emily Liebert, a staff writer at The Cut, about why age gap relationships are
00:09:16 so popular when they signal liberation backlash or something more complicated recently my 52 year
00:09:24 old friend and colleague separated from her husband okay so um and so i made her a dating profile
00:09:31 and the response from men in their 30s was overwhelming the oldest gap that i had was
00:09:37 eight years she was 35 and i was 27 dylan so i'm 34 the oldest that i've been on a date with
00:09:45 I want to say is like close to 50. Tristan, I'm 28 and my ex-girlfriend was 42. She had two kids
00:09:51 who are the same age as my siblings. More young men are seeking to date older women. Now, if this 0.72
00:09:59 was being honest, it would say more young men want easy sex with older women and the winners of the
00:10:07 women that are old and likable may secure relationships, but most will be pumped and
00:10:12 don't. Now the reasons given are I was attracted to the level of emotional maturity they could 1.00
00:10:18 give me. This means they make sex easier to get than young women. Tristan, just for openness for 1.00
00:10:26 a relationship, a real relationship, exclusivity longer lasting. Tristan, the translation, women 0.97
00:10:32 my age don't want to settle down. And I don't want to have to keep taking these young broads on dates. 1.00
00:10:38 I would rather they just come and hang out at my house. Kendrick. They tend to be more in their 1.00
00:10:44 careers and they tend to be more peaceful when it comes to dating. Kendrick. Translation. They're
00:10:50 easier. The dating app Field Reports, huge growth in this area in just the past two years. Because
00:10:58 of the toxic dating world, they all hate us all. Social medias, men are trash. You know who's not 1.00
00:11:03 saying that, the older ones. They're not ghosting me after six weeks. Women over 40 have more
00:11:09 spending power and social capital than ever before. So is that why these age gap relationships 0.99
00:11:15 are now all the rage? We're going to talk in quite general stereotypes because that's the only way 0.97
00:11:20 large groups of people by gender and age. We've all seen this in film and television. There's
00:11:26 Baby Girl, there's the reality show Age of Attraction, and there's the idea of you. The more
00:11:33 there's more that I can list over the past several years. And so I was curious if this
00:11:38 was actually happening in the world, not just in the media. So I reached out to the dating app
00:11:43 field and I asked them to run the numbers on this and was just like, are you seeing this on your
00:11:48 dating app data? And they said over the past two years, the number of men who are exclusively
00:11:52 interested in dating older women has increased by 64%. And that is particularly true among the
00:11:59 youngest bracket of men, 18 to 25 years old. This is happening and I'm really curious why it's
00:12:06 happening now. Emily, you reported a full story on this. What did you expect to find?
00:12:11 From the women I spoke to in my reporting, and these are women across all ages, I think the
00:12:16 biggest thing was a sense of freedom. That they're not really beholden to this mold that men might
00:12:22 have held them to. That they can simply be themselves. Okay, when women say they want to
00:12:26 be themselves they're saying I want to be a whore 1.00