Pearl - How Older Women Cope About The WALL

00:00:00.000 the coping I have seen is just gaslighting to eternity. So let's talk about taking L. So women 1.00

00:00:06.480 get older in life and, you know, father time is just something we cannot get away from. Father 0.97

00:00:13.780 time is just something everybody, you know, comes to. Women hit the wall, men hit the wall much 0.66

00:00:19.860 later, but like, let's keep it a buck. I'm a dude at 70 is not pulling what he was at 35 or 40. 0.57

00:00:26.000 you know what i mean like let's keep it a buck it comes for everyone but it comes for women

00:00:30.160 especially hard because the 70 year old ninja can still date 50 40 30. the 70 year old woman um i 1.00

00:00:38.320 mean it's kind of an l like she can date uh i mean she could sleep with a lot of people i i actually 0.99

00:00:43.520 you know i gotta be honest and she can i mean i saw this video of a old sex worker that said some

00:00:49.920 of her clients were 20 something year old guys i'm like fellas what are we doing what are we doing

00:00:56.560 why are we doing this father time does come for everybody and nobody can avoid it one day and you

00:01:04.320 know i i mean pretty much now i'm 29 so my eggs are all dried up i'm old and ugly you know and 1.00

00:01:11.360 i'm just gonna get older and uglier and that's just an out right as women um and women in general 0.97

00:01:17.920 you know at one point we're young we're hot we're youthful we're full of life we're bright-eyed and 0.92

00:01:24.400 bushy-tailed and then you know life takes it out of us and we get old ugly and bitter old ugly and

00:01:31.440 bitter and this is an l um it's an l that we'll have to live with the rest of our lives um but 1.00

00:01:36.400 modern women win in their youth in their in our youth we get attention from the highest status 1.00

00:01:43.840 men on the entire planet and get opportunities that only one can dream of. I mean, I could speak

00:01:52.480 for myself and I could speak for other women. I've met women that have gotten invited to Chris

00:01:58.060 Brown's parties, Drake's parties, NBA players parties, flown out to Dubai. And as women,

00:02:06.360 we win in our youth. And when the high status, we are used to being high status. We're used to

00:02:13.540 our opinions being important we're used to people caring about what we do i was even thinking how

00:02:19.060 as a woman like everyone cares about who you're dating i was like i was thinking about like in

00:02:23.700 my career how many questions i get about that and blah blah blah men it's just not the same nobody

00:02:29.380 cares right because i was thinking about this nobody cares nobody um nobody cares at all

00:02:36.980 So let's talk about coping. Coping refers to the cognitive and behavioral strategies used to manage,

00:02:45.640 reduce, or withstand stressful situations, emotions, or difficult life challenges.

00:02:51.760 It involves active efforts to solve problems or handle negative emotions. Common examples include

00:02:59.620 exercising, seeking social support, positive reframing, and planning. While poor coping can

00:03:06.220 involve avoidance, the key aspects of coping, the mental and physical effort to handle stress or

00:03:13.640 difficult circumstances. There's problem-focused coping, which is addressing the cause of the

00:03:19.340 stress, planning, emotion-focused, managing the emotional distress, and meaning-focused,

00:03:26.340 using cognitive strategies to understand and find meaning in the situation. Now there's types of

00:03:33.400 coping, positive coping and negative coping, healthy strategies like exercise. You know,

00:03:38.980 it's like, as a woman, when you get old, uh, some women like myself get addicted to the gym. It's

00:03:44.260 like, we'll never get that vigor of our youth, but at least we can get the vigor of benching,

00:03:50.260 you know, one 50 or three deadlifting 300 therapy. Um, we could argue if that's healthy

00:03:59.180 or positive, but there are positive therapists on the planet that do, you know, help. So there's

00:04:05.240 social support, you know, making friends, blah, blah, blah. And then there's negative coping

00:04:10.400 strategies, unhealthy strategies like avoidance, substance, youth, or social withdrawal. Active

00:04:17.180 coping. She used active coping by creating a strict study schedule to manage her exam.

00:04:24.020 Synonyms, managing, handling, dealing with, navigating, overcoming, surviving.

00:04:30.280 Now look, I'm not here to say there's never positive coping, but the coping I have seen

00:04:35.980 is just gaslighting to eternity. 1.00

00:04:38.720 Look at ladies, as we get older, we get uglier. 1.00

00:04:43.020 Hello. 1.00

00:04:43.840 We get our eggs get used up.

00:04:46.480 We get pumped, dumped, thrown back to the streets once again.

00:04:50.920 life makes us bitter nothing is new to us and you know there's two ways that you can really

00:04:58.740 after you know as somebody that's taken my fair share of L's in life publicly and privately

00:05:02.980 um you know life life is beautiful in a way because no matter how many L's you've taken 0.84

00:05:11.360 you can get back up and keep fucking trying and I'm going to use the female point of view but I 1.00

00:05:17.840 could also use the male point of view i know a woman that got married at fucking i need to stop 1.00

00:05:23.200 dropping f-bombs i know a woman see when you get old you start swearing more i know a woman that 0.99

00:05:28.400 got married at 50 years old now this is the exception most of you ladies this will not happen 0.96

00:05:34.080 yet but you know how she got married she didn't give up she didn't stop trying and that's one way

00:05:39.960 i think that's a healthy way to cope you know you're old as a woman you become a single mother

00:05:44.540 discount that's a that's a good way to cope right um you know you get divorced now you're really on

00:05:54.460 sale the guys you like get it for free immediately honey do you want to come right over but then

00:06:02.140 there's the sad type of cope the cope where you can't accept your circumstances there's nothing 0.93

00:06:09.040 sadder than a single mother that thinks she has the value of a young woman. And there's nothing 1.00

00:06:16.620 sadder than an old woman that says she dates young men because she wants to. Like that is her first 1.00

00:06:28.940 choice. We all know why old women date young men because the young men can't get the women their 1.00

00:06:35.200 age because the young women are banging the old men, right? Now, let's talk about humility. 0.55

00:06:41.960 Humility is the quality of having a modest, honest view of one's own importance, free from pride,

00:06:49.300 arrogance, or the need to feel superior to others. It is often described as thinking of yourself less

00:06:56.820 rather than thinking less of yourself. Key facets include recognizing one's limitations,

00:07:03.860 valuing others perspectives and acknowledging strengths without boasting

00:07:08.580 key aspects of humility admitting mistakes openly acknowledging when you are wrong

00:07:16.400 and don't know something rather than acting superior seeking feedback actively soliciting

00:07:23.100 input and learning from others regardless of their status giving credit sharing or redirecting

00:07:29.340 credit for success is to others instead of taking all the glory. Respectful listening. Engaging

00:07:35.260 respectfully with others' own perspectives, especially when they differ from your own.

00:07:41.380 Service and kindness. Putting others' needs before your own and helping those in need.

00:07:46.460 Reflective practices. As seen in traditions like Christianity, this can mean maintaining a 0.54

00:07:53.160 lowliness of mind, focusing on service and avoiding self-centeredness. Synonyms of humility,

00:08:00.480 modest, humbleness, meekness, lowliness, submission. Humility is not lack of self-esteem

00:08:08.880 or self-deprecation. It does not mean believing you're worthless. It means having a balanced,

00:08:14.320 accurate view of yourself. Now, humility is supposed to come with age because life is

00:08:20.200 supposed to have humbled us all unfortunately um unfortunately women just seem to double down 0.97

00:08:28.300 so we're going to read we're going to start read with a new york times article of women coping

00:08:33.100 okay older women are in demand by younger men see what if this wasn't a coping article it would say

00:08:41.420 older women young men are settling for older women because young women are too difficult to get 0.97

00:08:48.260 and they are rejecting them. Younger men are increasingly seeking out older women and it's

00:08:55.640 not just a dating trend. It's a shift in power, desire, and modern masculinity. In this episode

00:09:01.920 of The Opinions, the opinion cultural editor Nadja Spiegelman talks with writer and psychoanalyst

00:09:09.480 Jamieson Webster and Emily Liebert, a staff writer at The Cut, about why age gap relationships are

00:09:16.760 so popular when they signal liberation backlash or something more complicated recently my 52 year

00:09:24.520 old friend and colleague separated from her husband okay so um and so i made her a dating profile

00:09:31.900 and the response from men in their 30s was overwhelming the oldest gap that i had was

00:09:37.920 eight years she was 35 and i was 27 dylan so i'm 34 the oldest that i've been on a date with

00:09:45.340 I want to say is like close to 50. Tristan, I'm 28 and my ex-girlfriend was 42. She had two kids

00:09:51.480 who are the same age as my siblings. More young men are seeking to date older women. Now, if this 0.72

00:09:59.400 was being honest, it would say more young men want easy sex with older women and the winners of the

00:10:07.240 women that are old and likable may secure relationships, but most will be pumped and

00:10:12.940 don't. Now the reasons given are I was attracted to the level of emotional maturity they could 1.00

00:10:18.800 give me. This means they make sex easier to get than young women. Tristan, just for openness for 1.00

00:10:26.260 a relationship, a real relationship, exclusivity longer lasting. Tristan, the translation, women 0.97

00:10:32.620 my age don't want to settle down. And I don't want to have to keep taking these young broads on dates. 1.00

00:10:38.720 I would rather they just come and hang out at my house. Kendrick. They tend to be more in their 1.00

00:10:44.600 careers and they tend to be more peaceful when it comes to dating. Kendrick. Translation. They're

00:10:50.740 easier. The dating app Field Reports, huge growth in this area in just the past two years. Because

00:10:58.240 of the toxic dating world, they all hate us all. Social medias, men are trash. You know who's not 1.00

00:11:03.640 saying that, the older ones. They're not ghosting me after six weeks. Women over 40 have more

00:11:09.100 spending power and social capital than ever before. So is that why these age gap relationships 0.99

00:11:15.220 are now all the rage? We're going to talk in quite general stereotypes because that's the only way 0.97

00:11:20.640 large groups of people by gender and age. We've all seen this in film and television. There's

00:11:26.260 Baby Girl, there's the reality show Age of Attraction, and there's the idea of you. The more

00:11:33.180 there's more that I can list over the past several years. And so I was curious if this

00:11:38.960 was actually happening in the world, not just in the media. So I reached out to the dating app

00:11:43.180 field and I asked them to run the numbers on this and was just like, are you seeing this on your

00:11:48.020 dating app data? And they said over the past two years, the number of men who are exclusively

00:11:52.400 interested in dating older women has increased by 64%. And that is particularly true among the

00:11:59.780 youngest bracket of men, 18 to 25 years old. This is happening and I'm really curious why it's

00:12:06.000 happening now. Emily, you reported a full story on this. What did you expect to find?

00:12:11.020 From the women I spoke to in my reporting, and these are women across all ages, I think the

00:12:16.800 biggest thing was a sense of freedom. That they're not really beholden to this mold that men might

00:12:22.420 have held them to. That they can simply be themselves. Okay, when women say they want to

00:12:26.920 be themselves they're saying I want to be a whore 1.00

Pearl - May 08, 2026

How Older Women Cope About The WALL

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