Pearl - July 22, 2026Men Obey The Rules Of The Church Before Marriage, Women Do NOT!
Episode Stats
Harmful content
Misogyny
4
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Hate speech
9
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss the role of the priest and wife in the Catholic Church, and why they should or shouldn't obey their husbands. We also talk about whether or not women should wait to marry until they are virgins.
Transcript
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Well, do the churches preach against marrying non-virgin women?
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Not necessarily. I mean, it is always exalted as the ideal.
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Right, but the men have to follow the ideal, the women don't.
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So I do a channel and we go to different churches and we ask people what their belief is on obedience.
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So I'd love to know, one, how long you've been a member here, and two, what your beliefs are around obedience.
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Sure. So I've been attending this church for, I believe, four years now.
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And in terms of obedience, the catechism of the Trent actually touches on this expressly.
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And we believe that to be, it's the most authoritative catechism ever put out by the Roman church,
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relied on for several hundred years at this point.
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And it actually touches in there on the duties of a wife and the duties of a husband.
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And in the duties of a wife section, it has, I believe the phrase goes,
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let them never forget to esteem their husbands as second to god and to yield to them in all things
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not not in offense against christian piety or in line with christian piety something to that effect
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so it's pretty straightforward and and just so you would say yes they should obey well of course yes
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um and what do you guys do here if the priest and the husband disagree well i'm a little bit
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young to answer that question so i mean i don't necessarily know how old are you you're what 20s
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early 20s yeah that's accurate 23 23 okay so you've been around long enough right four years
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that's a good amount of time i mean yeah but in terms of like observing priest husband conflicts
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i don't have any okay so you're not you're not too sure no i don't know i don't know what happened
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yeah because i guess one of the questions i have faith in our priest though yeah well it's one of
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the questions we come to is that no two men agree on everything so yeah so when it comes to if you
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to walk this way slightly just in case someone comes in when it comes to like parenting style
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and um you know just um there's different different disagreements in a marriage uh what
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happens if the priest agrees with the wife and not the husband who should she listen to
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according to you well it depends on the subject in question so priests are just get out of it
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well first off this isn't necessarily represented in my parish it's just like off the dome when
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asking me but if it's a matter of moral theology for example where the priest's learning and his
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specifically spiritual authority in that way would come into play more and the husband maybe doesn't
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know the thing or so on then in that case it would make sense for the priest to have a certain
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superiority but in cases that pertain more particularly to the family that i mean it could
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become it could it could be compared really to the difference between the church's authority and
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state's authority there's a big analogy there in the sense of the church has supreme authority
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in spiritual matters but the state has a supreme authority and temporal and temporal and matters
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that relate to the common welfare of the people so in that way the priest logically would have
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an ultimate authority in spiritual things the husband represents christ and thus is kind of a
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delegate in the in that way and also in practical things relating to the common good of the household
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the husband would have you know the authority there so if women are not getting married young
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in churches isn't that requiring morality for men but not women
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i don't necessarily see how the two follow well when it comes to abstinence
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women aren't waiting till marriage to have sex generally and if you go to a lot of churches the
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men are well so wouldn't it isn't it kind of requiring morality for one and not the other
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I mean, I don't know what churches you're familiar with,
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but abstinence is something that's universally pre-shared.
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I mean, it's just part of the virtue of chastity, really.
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So if you're talking from a secular standpoint or something like that,
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I just even hear the women, I interviewed a few,
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So like you're essentially, even here, I go to all different types.
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and it's just the typical christian couple um in a lot of places is the guy's a virgin and the
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woman isn't so like when that's the case wouldn't you say it's requiring morality for one and not
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the other i well first i would dispute this on two levels so first just empirically speaking
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in terms of that's the average experience there are a lot of situations i know a lot of young
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people i have a friend who goes to a land mass not this one but a land mass up in minnesota
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and he and his wife were both virgins still marriage and they were high school sweethearts
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as just an example of the time I had. Would you say that's the norm?
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Yes, you wouldn't hesitate. I mean, the norm, well, most people aren't getting married
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without high school and that has correlations to premarital chastity, but that's the point.
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If you delay marriage since women have more sexual access than young men do,
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you're requiring morality for one and not the other. I still wouldn't say this requiring
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morality for one and not the other, though. Well, do the churches preach against marrying
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non-virgin women? Not necessarily. I mean, it is always exalted as the ideal. Right, but the men
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have to follow the ideal, the women don't. No, both of them do. And both of them have to deal
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with the consequences. Right, but if a guy marries her after, is there really a consequence?
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There certainly could be. But in all honesty, not really. Well, no, there certainly could be,
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insofar as for instance it influences the marital dynamics is would be one instance of this so for
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example it's common for i mean this is an analogy but if if one spouse is highly attractive and the
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other isn't then that influences the marital dynamics insofar as the one who isn't highly
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attractive has to compensate for that to some degree whether that's knowledge or money or
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virtue or something i mean that's a common thing and so i bring that up because you can make an
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analogy here insofar as if one is marrying a non-virgin that can influence the marital dynamics
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you know maybe she maybe she brings a great amount of obedience into the situation or maybe i remind
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of the words of our lord actually when it comes to when it comes to mary magdalene that specifically
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because of the fact that she had been living a life of iniquity that she had all the greater
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affection for our lord that she anointed her feet with oil through her hair and so on so you know
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that would also be another analogy insofar as a woman who a woman who led a not even a dissolute
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but who made a mistake in the past there can be ways that our lord can will a certain good out
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of that now on the practical temporal level there are also downsides but well i'm just more asking
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like i've just found that none of the churches i go the average doesn't seem to be that the 22
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year old girls are married and when you delay marriage um the women are promiscuous and the
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men are less promiscuous do their data backs i'm not in favor of delaying marriage or anything
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i know you're not in favor but i'm asking if the church doesn't require young marriage
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then wouldn't you say it's requiring morality for one gender and not the other how would a church
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require young marriage um well they used to they used to do we encourage it it's the ideal here
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yeah um you know indisputably well there's some churches that take a stance on it yeah like what
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what church would take a stance on that that is relative to ours well hypothetically you could
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require the women have to be married by a certain age because women have all the choice when they're
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young okay it's there even among process dominations there are church that literally
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blinds its members to be married after a certain well there's some that do arranged marriages yeah
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do arranged marriages yeah okay well called cults sorry okay well yeah that's what I can say I mean
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that's also a bit of a different arranged marriages well semi-arranged marriages also happen here
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yeah so um you know this is a big church with it's the second largest or first largest land
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mass in the United States so you get all kinds of people here there are people who
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have gone to college and have professional lives and then they have a dramatic conversion
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and then they they come here but they're still somewhat thinking in the world yeah and then
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they're all the way on the other side of the spectrum there are individuals who it's like
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trad homeschool families they got a farm and everything and so in those two contexts the
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pressures to marriage and the ideas on that will be different but i would still say here definitely
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the milieu is conservative you know people people want to be married what percent of people stay
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here like what would you say is because i find like the average church cycle online are like
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just off of the data is like seven years is that similar here or different um well if you consider
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my own time line i've been here four years i intend to keep coming here you know as long as
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i'm in the area and i from people i know i don't know anyone who's stopped going