Pearl - July 22, 2026


Men Obey The Rules Of The Church Before Marriage, Women Do NOT!


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

186.38

Word count

1,715

Sentence count

29


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 Well, do the churches preach against marrying non-virgin women?
00:00:03.680 Not necessarily. I mean, it is always exalted as the ideal.
00:00:07.200 Right, but the men have to follow the ideal, the women don't.
00:00:10.340 So I do a channel and we go to different churches and we ask people what their belief is on obedience.
00:00:16.100 So I'd love to know, one, how long you've been a member here, and two, what your beliefs are around obedience.
00:00:23.220 Sure. So I've been attending this church for, I believe, four years now.
00:00:28.520 And in terms of obedience, the catechism of the Trent actually touches on this expressly.
00:00:36.480 And we believe that to be, it's the most authoritative catechism ever put out by the Roman church,
00:00:43.540 relied on for several hundred years at this point.
00:00:46.500 And it actually touches in there on the duties of a wife and the duties of a husband.
00:00:50.620 And in the duties of a wife section, it has, I believe the phrase goes,
00:00:55.400 let them never forget to esteem their husbands as second to god and to yield to them in all things
00:01:03.140 not not in offense against christian piety or in line with christian piety something to that effect
00:01:08.640 so it's pretty straightforward and and just so you would say yes they should obey well of course yes
00:01:15.460 um and what do you guys do here if the priest and the husband disagree well i'm a little bit
00:01:21.660 young to answer that question so i mean i don't necessarily know how old are you you're what 20s
00:01:26.700 early 20s yeah that's accurate 23 23 okay so you've been around long enough right four years
00:01:31.980 that's a good amount of time i mean yeah but in terms of like observing priest husband conflicts
00:01:36.480 i don't have any okay so you're not you're not too sure no i don't know i don't know what happened
00:01:40.380 yeah because i guess one of the questions i have faith in our priest though yeah well it's one of
00:01:43.560 the questions we come to is that no two men agree on everything so yeah so when it comes to if you
00:01:49.480 to walk this way slightly just in case someone comes in when it comes to like parenting style
00:01:54.080 and um you know just um there's different different disagreements in a marriage uh what
00:01:59.900 happens if the priest agrees with the wife and not the husband who should she listen to
00:02:04.800 according to you well it depends on the subject in question so priests are just get out of it
00:02:13.460 well first off this isn't necessarily represented in my parish it's just like off the dome when
00:02:17.700 asking me but if it's a matter of moral theology for example where the priest's learning and his
00:02:26.340 specifically spiritual authority in that way would come into play more and the husband maybe doesn't
00:02:31.140 know the thing or so on then in that case it would make sense for the priest to have a certain
00:02:36.660 superiority but in cases that pertain more particularly to the family that i mean it could
00:02:43.540 become it could it could be compared really to the difference between the church's authority and
00:02:47.140 state's authority there's a big analogy there in the sense of the church has supreme authority
00:02:52.020 in spiritual matters but the state has a supreme authority and temporal and temporal and matters
00:02:58.420 that relate to the common welfare of the people so in that way the priest logically would have
00:03:04.420 an ultimate authority in spiritual things the husband represents christ and thus is kind of a
00:03:11.040 delegate in the in that way and also in practical things relating to the common good of the household
00:03:16.120 the husband would have you know the authority there so if women are not getting married young
00:03:21.960 in churches isn't that requiring morality for men but not women
00:03:30.680 i don't necessarily see how the two follow well when it comes to abstinence
00:03:35.160 women aren't waiting till marriage to have sex generally and if you go to a lot of churches the
00:03:38.840 men are well so wouldn't it isn't it kind of requiring morality for one and not the other
00:03:46.120 I mean, I don't know what churches you're familiar with,
00:03:49.600 but abstinence is something that's universally pre-shared.
00:03:53.000 It's binding on Catholics until marriage.
00:03:54.900 I mean, it's just part of the virtue of chastity, really.
00:03:57.760 So if you're talking from a secular standpoint or something like that,
00:04:01.780 then maybe in those cases...
00:04:04.960 I just even hear the women, I interviewed a few,
00:04:07.180 and they said they weren't virgins.
00:04:08.820 So like you're essentially, even here, I go to all different types.
00:04:12.720 and it's just the typical christian couple um in a lot of places is the guy's a virgin and the
00:04:18.520 woman isn't so like when that's the case wouldn't you say it's requiring morality for one and not
00:04:23.800 the other i well first i would dispute this on two levels so first just empirically speaking
00:04:30.880 in terms of that's the average experience there are a lot of situations i know a lot of young
00:04:35.700 people i have a friend who goes to a land mass not this one but a land mass up in minnesota
00:04:42.420 and he and his wife were both virgins still marriage and they were high school sweethearts
00:04:46.620 as just an example of the time I had. Would you say that's the norm?
00:04:51.900 Yes, you wouldn't hesitate. I mean, the norm, well, most people aren't getting married
00:04:55.760 without high school and that has correlations to premarital chastity, but that's the point.
00:05:00.940 If you delay marriage since women have more sexual access than young men do,
00:05:05.520 you're requiring morality for one and not the other. I still wouldn't say this requiring
00:05:09.760 morality for one and not the other, though. Well, do the churches preach against marrying
00:05:13.580 non-virgin women? Not necessarily. I mean, it is always exalted as the ideal. Right, but the men
00:05:22.740 have to follow the ideal, the women don't. No, both of them do. And both of them have to deal
00:05:27.240 with the consequences. Right, but if a guy marries her after, is there really a consequence?
00:05:32.660 There certainly could be. But in all honesty, not really. Well, no, there certainly could be,
00:05:38.400 insofar as for instance it influences the marital dynamics is would be one instance of this so for
00:05:46.620 example it's common for i mean this is an analogy but if if one spouse is highly attractive and the
00:05:55.840 other isn't then that influences the marital dynamics insofar as the one who isn't highly
00:06:01.380 attractive has to compensate for that to some degree whether that's knowledge or money or
00:06:06.480 virtue or something i mean that's a common thing and so i bring that up because you can make an
00:06:11.200 analogy here insofar as if one is marrying a non-virgin that can influence the marital dynamics
00:06:17.480 you know maybe she maybe she brings a great amount of obedience into the situation or maybe i remind
00:06:24.280 of the words of our lord actually when it comes to when it comes to mary magdalene that specifically
00:06:29.500 because of the fact that she had been living a life of iniquity that she had all the greater
00:06:35.760 affection for our lord that she anointed her feet with oil through her hair and so on so you know
00:06:42.820 that would also be another analogy insofar as a woman who a woman who led a not even a dissolute
00:06:51.540 but who made a mistake in the past there can be ways that our lord can will a certain good out
00:06:56.460 of that now on the practical temporal level there are also downsides but well i'm just more asking
00:07:01.660 like i've just found that none of the churches i go the average doesn't seem to be that the 22
00:07:07.040 year old girls are married and when you delay marriage um the women are promiscuous and the
00:07:12.320 men are less promiscuous do their data backs i'm not in favor of delaying marriage or anything
00:07:16.580 i know you're not in favor but i'm asking if the church doesn't require young marriage
00:07:20.700 then wouldn't you say it's requiring morality for one gender and not the other how would a church
00:07:26.360 require young marriage um well they used to they used to do we encourage it it's the ideal here
00:07:31.720 yeah um you know indisputably well there's some churches that take a stance on it yeah like what
00:07:36.940 what church would take a stance on that that is relative to ours well hypothetically you could
00:07:42.300 require the women have to be married by a certain age because women have all the choice when they're
00:07:46.100 young okay it's there even among process dominations there are church that literally
00:07:50.960 blinds its members to be married after a certain well there's some that do arranged marriages yeah
00:07:55.020 do arranged marriages yeah okay well called cults sorry okay well yeah that's what I can say I mean
00:08:01.980 that's also a bit of a different arranged marriages well semi-arranged marriages also happen here
00:08:06.300 yeah so um you know this is a big church with it's the second largest or first largest land
00:08:13.160 mass in the United States so you get all kinds of people here there are people who
00:08:17.000 have gone to college and have professional lives and then they have a dramatic conversion
00:08:22.680 and then they they come here but they're still somewhat thinking in the world yeah and then
00:08:28.620 they're all the way on the other side of the spectrum there are individuals who it's like
00:08:32.620 trad homeschool families they got a farm and everything and so in those two contexts the
00:08:38.200 pressures to marriage and the ideas on that will be different but i would still say here definitely
00:08:42.880 the milieu is conservative you know people people want to be married what percent of people stay
00:08:48.500 here like what would you say is because i find like the average church cycle online are like
00:08:54.820 just off of the data is like seven years is that similar here or different um well if you consider
00:09:02.100 my own time line i've been here four years i intend to keep coming here you know as long as
00:09:05.700 i'm in the area and i from people i know i don't know anyone who's stopped going