00:01:28.720Let's just say hypothetically, you suspect that someone you know is dating somebody.
00:01:34.840And, you know, you want to find out, like, if it's true or if, like, there's something going on, if they're hiding something.
00:01:40.540Would it be crazy if you knew that person was going to be at a certain bar or restaurant or something to, like, go in disguise to that place to find out what they're up to?
00:01:49.780because like maybe they're not actually dating somebody maybe you're just paranoid and you go
00:01:53.540there and you just see them alone and then your conscience is cleared but like what if you i don't
00:01:58.740know see them with like a woman or a man or something if you're in disguise and you don't
00:02:04.020just confront them up front you can like hear like their conversation like they're talking about like
00:02:08.420you know doing it or something then you know yeah they're dating someone or something or you know
00:02:13.220if they're talking about like their grandparents it's probably just family or friends and you know
00:02:16.420you're just in your head or something who is this person i i won't say i won't say it's
00:02:23.480okay okay i'm gonna ask the easy question are you dating this person no uh well there is no
00:02:30.040one person i'm talking about it's just like a hypothetical just like for anyone like let's say
00:02:34.080you suspect your friend has a girlfriend and he's not telling you or if like there was a girl you
00:02:37.800just recently broke up with or something and you suspect she might have been cheating on you and
00:02:41.620so you know you think there or if you suspect like maybe i don't know maybe your dad is like
00:02:45.460having an affair or something okay my first question is do you have any hobbies
00:02:50.220i am a graphic designer by trade i'm also a ventriloquist okay so what would be like what
00:02:57.320do you think that you have something better to do than stalking well i mean it's not really
00:03:03.140stalking if you're just trying to get down to the truth you know like what if i what if my buddy i
00:03:07.340won't say his name but like what if my buddy who does not get a lot of women because he's a bigger
00:03:10.880guy you know and stuff what if i suspect that like he's dating someone and he's not telling
00:03:15.400me about it and i want to know about it and i like go down to like this bar and that's where
00:03:21.080i know he's going to be but why do you need to know if he's dating someone like get down to it
00:03:27.740or something why you know well because like then whatever excuses he's giving me like these
00:03:33.560ridiculous other reasons why he has to leave work earlier why just go to his apartment suddenly they
00:03:37.520all fall through and it's like okay buddy like don't lie to me but here's the thing what because
00:03:43.220here's the thing if you were approachable for him to tell you about it he'd tell you
00:03:47.780and second if it's affecting if it's affecting his work performance you don't need to know what
00:03:53.460he's doing for you to to confront him on him leaving work early or him not be a good friend
00:03:59.280anymore you can address that without knowing why he's doing it you can say hey man what the heck
00:04:03.460going you need to confront him directly about that whether you find out he's dating someone
00:04:08.660or not would you would you finding out he's dating someone excuse his behavior no well but it would
00:04:16.260also well it doesn't also have to be that you know like his work is you know slacking off maybe he's
00:04:19.780just like acting odd and i need to know like why he's acting odd or something and by the way the
00:04:23.380first part is not true like it doesn't make me any less approachable like you can probably tell
00:04:27.300by the way i'm speaking that i'm autistic and autistic people are approachable so first of all
00:04:31.220that's the first thing um you know that's I mean I know that's like a little ridiculous to say like
00:04:36.600I know how I sound but like still like I just want I just want to throw that out there for
00:04:40.240further context or something right I'd recommend I recommend getting like three hoes yeah because
00:04:47.340I just think you need somewhere else to put your mind you know like if you had three women bothering
00:04:52.260you you wouldn't really be too worried about if he was dating someone right well and believe me
01:07:11.700all right for the people for the people you know that bacteria vaginitis is a sexually transmitted
01:07:18.140infection now they're considering it that so like there's a lot of people who are getting it from
01:07:23.580that too and they think it's just like i don't know they're like maybe they're sick or something
01:07:30.060i don't know but there's hpv is that like on there too yeah that was on there i'm just i'm
01:07:36.980just looking at basic boxes because you said a lot of them aren't tested for so i'm just i'm kind
01:07:42.120of asking the question if like yeah if the well when you go into tests they usually only test for
01:07:48.260the ones you mentioned except hiv they will not test for that unless you go to a specific clinic
01:07:56.660that tests for hiv i mean they can ask for blood tests but doctors don't like to do it because i
01:08:03.040don't think that they're legally allowed to give you the results I'm not sure about that I know
01:08:08.020that clinics you have to do a specific test just to be allowed to give someone results for HIV
01:08:13.480not for the other ones um were there were you surprised by the types of people that had STDs
01:08:21.460like would there be certain ones that you just would never how accurate are the at-home STI
01:08:26.560tests are those accurate um i would say
01:08:33.600well we even the ones in clinic we've had false positives so i don't know like the percentage of
01:08:38.320accuracy i would say none are completely accurate even if you get a positive or a negative i would
01:08:44.080still retest every like three months or so just to be sure that's what i said i would say three
01:08:49.840months like because based on the shows i've been doing it seems like if you get chlamydia untreated
01:08:55.600for three months that could be pretty bad um that's you know do you agree with that i'm just
01:09:04.240asking like best practices cause long-term infertility and i i'm just asking you know
01:09:11.040like months ago when i talked to you i asked just regular girlfriends like have you ever been tested
01:09:15.840for anything like for real and a hundred percent have not been tested for anything that is so
01:09:21.840crazy for me I think I think I'm neurotic though so I think I know too much but I'm like that is
01:09:28.320crazy imagine yeah so it's just not very common because people are still under the stigma that
01:09:34.920only is there anything that you think is really um like a lot of women have or men have and they
01:09:41.640don't know definitely a lot of money who's relatively healthy sleeps pretty well doesn't
01:09:47.560have as much stress they're not going to show symptoms and they're going to be more likely to
01:09:51.460just have it and maybe be a carrier but not express the symptoms themselves yeah that makes
01:09:57.700sense and i would go to lots of patients homes with aids hiv lots of comorbidities and just by
01:10:06.920the lifestyle of the person you could see whether they were gonna like live a long time even with
01:10:11.660it or not and it's down to diet it's down to mindset it's down to like how happy you are like
01:10:17.380at some of the happiest people I know have all the STDs in the world, but they're very happy and
01:10:24.420they live just as long as everybody else for some reason. And then there'll be people who they just
01:10:30.060have like a party lifestyle. They're not sleeping well. They're up all night. They're, you know,
01:10:35.100stressed out about stuff. And then when they get something like this, it pushes them over the edge
01:10:38.780and then they get all these bad symptoms. Yeah, that makes sense. Do you have any,
01:10:45.640like would any do you have any crazy stories from your time at the clinic that you want to share
01:10:51.800that are like interesting uh i there's one that comes to mind but i i know like you're like a more
01:10:58.000like women are the problem but there's this one that like i always think about because it's kind
01:11:03.840of like the you know like the the passport bro thing that has always been a thing passport bros
01:11:09.040dawn of time i don't know why it got like a name recently but i'm talking about 20 something years
01:11:13.820ago so we had this guy he made his money so he's very very wealthy has yachts everything like and
01:11:21.020he you know passed through lots and lots of women but then he finally got something
01:11:26.460and after he got something he went down south picked himself a nice young virgin bride latin
01:11:33.980bride brought her over to the states got got her pregnant had the baby after the baby was like a
01:11:40.540year or something said hey let's go get tested and of course she ended up having hiv and so did the
01:11:46.540baby now i know like terrible story but like the the problem with that was if he had at least told
01:11:53.820her after he gave it to her we could have prevented the baby from getting it which upsets me oh my
01:12:02.140gosh so he didn't tell her and he knew he had it yeah yeah he knew like he was he was specifically
01:12:08.540going there for that situation so because he wanted to have a family but i mean stuff like
01:12:13.180that happens on the other side too it's just you know the the thing is i don't consider like men
01:12:19.580are the problem or women are the problem i just think people who are narcissists are just growing
01:12:25.300in numbers so people need to be careful it's the difference between hiv one and two one is like
01:12:32.460earlier two is like later in the disease right or am i wrong i don't know if they i don't know if
01:12:38.780i've never heard hiv no there's hsv one and hs oh yeah no i'm just looking at testing sites
01:12:44.780and it says hiv one and two i was just looking at because you said it's not in like the general
01:12:49.660panel so i was just kind of curious and it said hiv one and two testing so i was like i don't know
01:12:54.940what that means if you're curious why it's called passport bros and people have a problem with it
01:13:00.460is because it's because a lot of black men are passport bros now and like our women have a
01:13:07.180problem with it so like white guys have been doing it forever but now that a lot of black guys are
01:13:12.220doing it their passport bros and there's a problem with it because black women feel like they own
01:13:16.940black men and we're supposed to stay here and deal with their garbage and we're choosing not to
01:13:23.500well i mean this has been going on forever it's just maybe like they just figured out this was
01:13:29.020an option you can't get mad you got to do what you got to do that's true i feel like your testing
01:13:35.660should be like it should be regardless of who you're dating like because it should be mandatory
01:13:42.460i think it should be mandatory for like every checkup yeah i agree i don't understand why don't
01:13:49.500the doctors because i that's happened to me before where you go in for your yearly and i'm like yeah
01:13:55.020i want everything and they're like everything i'm like everything give everything why did
01:14:01.100they try to talk you out of it it's like don't shouldn't i have a feeling that like they need
01:14:06.060to have a specific code to bill insurance so you have to say specific things for them to justify
01:14:12.300the test so like maybe they lose out something if they have to or they don't want to make stuff up
01:14:19.340or whatever but like they're definitely like discouraged from putting anything unless you say
01:14:26.940i am like a very promiscuous person please test me for everything if you don't say that
01:14:34.060then they always push back yeah i'm just neurotic it's not gonna be me what a microplasma genitalium
01:14:42.780them. Is it UTI? Are some UTIs? Yes. STDs. Yes. And I know you did something on birth control
01:14:53.840before, but a lot of women do not know that chronic UTIs or BV can be from just being on
01:15:02.320birth control. Oh, really? That's interesting. Yeah. Just the act of being on birth control
01:15:07.660ruins the microbiome in the i think the vaginal canal and maybe the throat and stuff like that so
01:15:15.920just like how you can ruin your microbiome and your gut you can ruin it everywhere else
01:15:20.480oh okay you did counseling services at your at your clinic too yes so when someone found out
01:15:30.340would you ever have to counsel someone that had something permanent like hiv or something on how
01:15:34.520of like disclose it to people or how to live a normal life and stuff i believe back when we were
01:15:41.560doing it like you had to disclose but i don't believe you have to disclose anymore so you you
01:15:49.000don't ever have to tell people and here's the thing yeah can you well just finish that thought but
01:15:55.560this whole undetectable thing can you what after you finish the thought about the the disclosure
01:16:01.320thing can you talk about this whole undetectable hiv thing like what is that about yeah that is when
01:16:08.040you're on medication so the viral load is like low so it's past the detectable threshold that
01:16:16.280it needs for the test to be positive you still have it but it's in a low number but you can
01:16:22.360still spread it to people i mean it's a it's less likely but possible
01:16:31.320So, like, because I just hope it's not a thing where, like, people that are undetectable are just, like, walking around like they don't have it at all.
01:16:47.320Like, there's no, your only choice, even if you're a responsible person, if you're sexually active every three, I would say three months, maybe six, if you're in a relationship and you're semi-confident and don't feel like blowing.
01:17:01.000some of these are expensive my god like for me i could pay it but like for a normal person
01:17:06.760paying like i mean this is going to be over a grand a year in testing you know
01:17:13.320yeah and that's that's the other problem that a lot of people see especially if you're like
01:17:18.520a poor college student you see how much it costs you're gonna lie and say yeah i've been tested
01:17:23.160yeah like this is even for bv yeast infection and trick it's 269 that's expensive so like i mean
01:17:35.880there's definitely some cheaper places you can go get it but like it's still expensive it's like i
01:17:41.720think the lowest maybe like 50 per thing you can get it some of them i saw as low as 25 but like
01:17:49.960specific things like 25 for chlamydia 25 for gonorrhea 25 so it's like it adds up pretty quickly