Pearl - “Modern Women Are LONELY Because They Refuse to Put in the WORK” @JustPearlyThings

00:00:00.000 I feel lonely but I'm also like alone physically. When I look around I don't have deep friendships

00:00:05.080 that are physically near me. I moved to Rochester, New York a couple years ago. I've really struggled

00:00:10.520 to make deep connections. I will say the city is super. So it's a choice right? You can have deeper

00:00:16.160 connections in the suburbs or you can go to the city and a lot of the connections are more

00:00:20.700 superficial but there's more opportunity in the city. It's a choice. We're good at hosting events

00:00:25.180 but I'm an introvert and I work from home. I feel like I have like this deadly combination that I

00:00:29.760 just can't get out of the rut of I've gone to these events but I really struggle because I just

00:00:35.840 have anxiety and I also am an introvert so I go there and I've gone to like three you slap a name

00:00:40.400 say I got it right when you walk in and then I like latch on to the first person that gives me

00:00:44.100 any attention and then they're friends and then I leave and I feel super deflated because they

00:00:49.440 were a cool person but I just am not like feeling that like depth of friendship and okay so now

00:00:55.300 you're getting greedy right this just means the person was this wasn't as high status as i wanted

00:00:59.940 you know beggars can't be choosers but i did the thing and all to say like last week i guess in

00:01:06.660 therapy my therapist was like well then what would be ideal for you between that question and me

00:01:11.640 answering and then now i just kind of had an epiphany where i'm like i don't know if this is

00:01:16.780 something like the people that work from home and live near me or whatever are in their 20s and 30s

00:01:22.300 or don't live near me, I don't know, are going through enough for this type of an event to even

00:01:27.240 come to fruition. But we were discussing and I was like, first of all, if I could walk into a coffee

00:01:31.840 shop and get a coffee, suss out what's going on from a distance, I'd feel so much better.

00:01:38.560 Having like props at their table would be super nice because I get panicky. I'm trying to present

00:01:44.360 the best. So it would help me just be able to like get through a natural conversation and present a

00:01:49.500 lot better who I actually am my therapist brought up like a bingo card so I don't get caught in

00:01:54.540 one person I have an excuse if I want to move on I need to go do this bingo card and the last thing

00:02:00.500 we talked about was they're just staring at a person having like a craft or a coloring book

00:02:06.220 or something that you both can be doing while also chatting so that your brain can relax I just feel

00:02:12.640 like that would be perfect for me I feel like I would continue to go to those events or at least

00:02:18.700 go to it the first I feel so much less stressed and actually a person that I don't know it's just

00:02:25.200 sucked I don't know what else to do I'm trying yeah okay here's the problem look if you want

00:02:30.480 a social life as someone I'm a bit of a loner and I choose this because I have my projects I want to 0.81

00:02:35.860 get done or whatever I want to get the channel going there's a lot if you want to be make friends 0.80

00:02:41.060 you go out seven days a week and really be intentional ask all the women you meet to hang

00:02:46.080 out and a majority are going to be say no and flake but whatever you know however cool the 0.99

00:02:52.140 women that say yes are that's how cool you are and you're probably going to find out you're a loser 1.00

Pearl - September 25, 2026