Pearl - Modern Women Keep Self-Destructing

00:00:00.000 what up guys welcome to my reaction series today we're talking about a woman quitting her phd 1.00

00:00:05.680 program to be a stay-at-home mom so feminism was supposed to be about choice a woman was supposed 1.00

00:00:11.520 to be able to choose to do anything she wanted the feminism today it's not quite that if a woman 1.00

00:00:17.280 chooses to be a stay-at-home mom and take care of her kids she is ostracized and belittled by 1.00

00:00:21.840 modern progressive women modern women all want modern women want all women to put themselves 0.84

00:00:28.400 into a bunch of debt to get some degree and then go out into the workforce and work themselves to

00:00:33.200 death in a job that barely pays anything well some women have woken up and are choosing motherhood 1.00

00:00:38.960 over education and career let's look at women who quit her phd program to be a stay-at-home mom 0.99

00:00:47.040 i quit my phd program to be a wife and a mother at 23. it's not what i expected for my post-college

00:00:53.040 life but i'm happier after college i enrolled in a phd program i wasn't actually interested in

00:01:00.080 i eventually dropped out of the program so that i could focus on my husband and being a mother

00:01:04.320 i am now pregnant and i'm so happy with my decision in high school i knew my college would be an

00:01:09.840 important step towards success and a career nonetheless my deeper desires involved finding

00:01:15.760 the one friends to lovers style i had a full scholarship to the college of my dreams but i

00:01:21.760 quickly shifted focus from my studies to my personal development i wanted to know more about

00:01:27.840 myself than my classes and that's what i did i created a podcast with my friends i fell in love

00:01:33.360 with my best friend and got my friends to lovers romance we even got married in college i

00:01:38.320 also discovered my passion for mental health but by the end of my senior year reality began to set

00:01:43.840 in i became so fearful of graduation because i had no job prospects or future plans i suddenly

00:01:49.840 realized i would rather be a stay-at-home wife god damn it nobody's got to pay off all the debt

00:01:56.000 and that terrified me even more to avoid that i desperately searched for a career and involved in 0.64

00:02:01.360 enrolled in a graduate program i wasn't even interested in i quickly lost my phd program i was

00:02:07.840 among a small number of students who were able to get into a phd program directly from undergrad i was

00:02:13.680 an academic in training which meant having two part-time jobs doing side research projects and

00:02:20.000 attending class i saw my husband less but he supported me and the sacrifice as long as i got

00:02:25.760 what i wanted i started working 8 a.m and finishing around 7 p.m i worked on weekends too the pinterest

00:02:31.920 inspired home i hope to have would have required my creativity and time both of which were limited

00:02:37.280 resources when you're running the career race as most of you know i have been fighting on the front lines of

00:02:43.040 the simp epidemic for years but i need to tell you about a quiet weapon being ratcheted up against

00:02:48.240 men that is rarely talked about it's not just the relentless anti-masculinity propaganda and only

00:02:53.520 fans hoes causing the societal issues that we discuss on the show did you know that the average 1.00

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00:03:05.040 from birth control the average adult consumes a credit card worth of plastic every single week

00:03:09.680 that's five grams of plastic a week on average so it's no wonder that the average male's testosterone

00:03:15.360 is half of what the average was 50 years ago testosterone levels decline one percent a year

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00:04:12.560 get 25 off site-wide on chalk.com that's c-h-o-q.com my name pearl is the discount code so we kept the white

00:04:20.480 walls with no time to hang a framed picture of our wedding day i started therapy oh my gosh and i was forced to

00:04:27.920 address the fear and anxiety that had pushed me to jump head first into a career i wasn't sure about

00:04:34.160 toward the end of my first semester i knew this career was not for me i wasn't able to invest in

00:04:39.120 my marriage i wasn't able to write creatively on topics that mattered and i wasn't becoming who i

00:04:44.720 wanted to be so i left the program prompting everyone in my life to wonder why i would leave school

00:04:50.800 that would earn me the highest degree you can get in academics but i chose to be a wife and a mother

00:04:55.680 instead after leaving my program i felt relief then sadness and then relief again undergrad was

00:05:02.080 about becoming myself but graduate school showed me the realities of unbecoming unbecoming a

00:05:07.680 perfectionist unbecoming a planner and unbecoming a high achiever the pain of unbecoming had given me

00:05:13.520 the freedom to change when i let go of grinding toward a career i learned about my desire to be a

00:05:18.880 mother i wanted to share the beauties of the world with someone else someone i created now i'm pregnant

00:05:24.880 aww when i let go of the negative connotations of being a stay-at-home wife i realized my desire

00:05:30.560 to make my home into a creative and comfortable space so i created it when i let go of the fear of

00:05:35.680 being a wife i saw my husband as compassionate servant and a loving person who needed it in return

00:05:42.160 now i give love freely when i let go of the fear of people seeing me as wasted potential i found writing

00:05:48.720 again so now i write this is not what i expected for my post-graduation life but my life is both

00:05:55.280 better and different than my expectations and the years after graduation i've learned that becoming's

00:06:01.600 shadow and unbecoming they exist together the becoming is full of excitement and hope the

00:06:06.480 unbecoming is full of truth pain and even fear but there's hope on the horizon well that's kind of cute

00:06:13.040 i hope she finds the treadmill though if this is her i mean that's cute but girl you gotta get on 1.00

00:06:19.600 the treadmill well it's always nice to see a woman who does get it and see that the right well the right 1.00

00:06:25.440 priorities in life for her to quit and become a stay-at-home mom so i'm happy for her let me know

00:06:31.440 if you have had a similar experience and if not you can put that to like the video and put your experience

00:06:38.240 in the comments i'll see you guys next time

Pearl - July 12, 2025

Modern Women Keep Self-Destructing

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