Pearl - June 13, 2024


Paul Elam on FEMINISM, A VOICE FOR MEN AND FAMILY COURTS @Paul_Elam ｜ THE SITDOWN w⧸Pearl


Episode Stats

Length

9 minutes

Words per Minute

170.80745

Word Count

1,705

Sentence Count

41

Misogynist Sentences

11

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of the podcast, we have a special guest on the show to discuss women in the workplace, feminism, and why men don t want women to work. Tim and Andrew are two of the most well-known and respected men's rights activists in the world. They have been involved in the men's movement for over 20 years and have been at the forefront of the movement to make men's issues heard in every facet of society.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 you got some pushback during our um we did a panel a couple of weeks or not months ago maybe
00:00:07.040 um with some traditional conservatives on it tim and andrew yeah and they were i think tim
00:00:12.800 offered some pushback because you said you didn't have a problem with women working
00:00:19.440 i have a problem with women not working okay tell me why
00:00:23.360 why should women have to work well because i think their argument would be that they should
00:00:31.980 raise the children and that's what's best for the kids well you know something that's work too
00:00:36.180 i mean if they're actually going to raise children and they're going to take care of a home and
00:00:41.060 manage a home i respect that i don't i don't have a problem with it but i didn't need that
00:00:47.480 from somebody. So why should I settle for somebody that can't carry their weight financially?
00:00:54.420 Right. And the thing is, I had to make that decision first before I was ever in a position
00:00:59.800 to look at this and say, I'm never going to be with a deadbeat woman again.
00:01:04.780 She could better show up with her purse and having a job or some sort of income,
00:01:09.200 or we're not going to even get started here. I had to make that decision before it ever happened.
00:01:14.680 and i'm happy to say i'm 22 years into a relationship i wouldn't trade for the world
00:01:19.520 but it wasn't because i got on my knees in front of her or threw flowers at her or told her how
00:01:26.040 beautiful beautiful she was every five minutes um i don't need that and i don't i don't think
00:01:33.160 anybody does i think that all this stuff is it's infantilizing when you treat women that way you
00:01:39.600 treat them like they can't accomplish anything like they they can't buy anything they can't do
00:01:44.120 anything. With all respect to Tim and Andrew, I think these are products of very emotionally
00:01:52.100 insecure men that need a child to take care of, not a partner in life. I don't want a child to
00:02:02.580 take care of. And sorry to say, you look at the population of women out there, average emotional
00:02:09.080 intelligence is about 14 years old no matter how old they are in real life on a good day well yeah
00:02:16.920 actually i tweeted that but i didn't think women matured past like 17 at best that's pretty good
00:02:24.280 i think like the best are like 17 18. i've been with a couple that were like four or five
00:02:31.400 well i don't see a problem with women working especially when you consider that women
00:02:36.280 and that's what they'll say they'll say pearl's a feminist and i'm like well it doesn't change
00:02:40.760 the world i'm in like a feminism one i don't know what you guys want me to do i can't change it
00:02:46.360 but what i meant by that though is if the kid's in public school why can't she get a job the kid's
00:02:52.440 gone uh i think what what's public school seven hours a day six and then i don't when i was a
00:02:58.440 kid everyone did after school activities so you you would stay we had practice at i don't know
00:03:03.480 three 3 30 right you were there until five or six you came home at seven but oprah comes on it too
00:03:12.920 but i'm like what are you doing all day it's not like we have air fryers now you can make like a
00:03:17.560 perfectly good meal in an air fryer in 45 minutes and it's like it's not bad food either it can be
00:03:23.480 healthy and good for you so what are you guys doing all day well and a lot of guys are finding
00:03:28.360 now they don't want women to cook for them they're fine cooking for themselves or cooking
00:03:33.000 for others i'm the cook in my home i wouldn't have it any other way yeah yeah i was actually
00:03:38.760 i said that on a podcast recently that men are better cooks than women now
00:03:44.120 well you look at it some people will say it's misogyny and women's oppression but you look at
00:03:49.320 all the you know outrageously successful chefs oh in the world they're all men yeah
00:03:55.400 Yeah. Then I'm like evil, you know.
00:04:00.680 That's why I'm here.
00:04:01.940 Yeah. What pushback have you gotten the last couple of, or the last 20 years?
00:04:08.700 Oh, God, I can't even, I've lost count of the hit pieces in the media. I mean, most of them started back in 14, 10 years ago when we did our first international conference on men's issues in Detroit.
00:04:22.160 um it wasn't too long after that that the sblc decided we're a hate group that a voice for men
00:04:29.100 was so they eventually they listed us as a hate group what's really interesting and i turned over
00:04:35.200 a voice for men to robert brockway a guy out of australia great men's rights activist there that
00:04:40.060 is doing a bang up job running it now and i just handed it over to him and started xy crew which
00:04:47.740 is men's groups that we're doing online and we do real world events and the SPLC said okay a voice
00:04:55.340 for men's not a hate group anymore but xy crew is simply because it changed ownership i've had that
00:05:02.340 pushback i've had uh i've had death threats i've had people write me emails oh my god a woman wrote
00:05:09.340 me once and i don't know if it was true or not she said my husband listened to you and he blew his
00:05:14.020 brains out uh thanks for killing my husband I get stuff like that fairly regularly so what keeps you
00:05:24.100 going like why do you keep doing it you get you know because you could maybe I'm nuts I don't
00:05:28.860 know that's part of the problem that I don't know when to quit I do um I think what keeps me going
00:05:37.480 is that I was just never a guy that liked injustice yeah and what I see happening in
00:05:43.340 family courts now this is why i get so frustrated with these guys that are out there just saying
00:05:48.160 marry the hoe i'm like are you crazy you saw my chat yeah marry the hoe you know just no matter
00:05:57.160 what she does go back and redouble your efforts and take care of her and be kind to her and give
00:06:02.660 her everything she wants or you're not a man this is the underlying theme yeah you're not a real man
00:06:08.400 if you don't marry you're not if you don't marry and if you if she's not happy you don't continue
00:06:13.500 your bloodline and then these guys we get them in family courts and the family courts are just
00:06:20.660 this they're the biggest rollback of civil rights since jim crow in this country the way they just
00:06:26.740 step on families destroy them they they have an opportunity in family courts if they were doing
00:06:33.740 their job to help a family restructure post-divorce, to keep the relationships intact with the
00:06:39.940 children and both parents and to make rulings according to what is really in the best interest
00:06:45.100 of the child. They don't do that at all. They destroy children in family courts and they destroy
00:06:50.000 the fathers and ultimately the mothers by selling them a bill of goods. Women end up much more
00:06:56.500 likely to be below the poverty line post-divorce than they are while they're married. Their lives
00:07:01.640 deteriorate. The children's lives go downhill. The men's lives deteriorate. And we find that
00:07:07.700 normally there's a four to one ratio of suicide between men and women. When you're talking about
00:07:13.460 divorce and breakup of long-term relationship, it goes to 11 to one. That's how bad things are
00:07:20.180 out there. And that bothers me. Well, and that's the thing. There's never any push for reform
00:07:28.120 before men get married, it's always just man up and take the risk anyway. And the risk is worth
00:07:34.000 the reward. But none of these guys have seen the other side of divorce and what happens to these
00:07:42.020 men. What are some of the worst horror stories that you have witnessed over the years?
00:07:48.140 The suicides. I have talked to several men that ultimately killed themselves because of family
00:07:56.760 court issues. Other things, I mean, children getting kidnapped, taken overseas, men chasing
00:08:04.380 them, trying to find their children, just the depression that goes with that and the fact that
00:08:11.700 the system does not care. The people that create this won't do anything about it. Almost every
00:08:19.460 divorce is a nightmare story. Guys get financially eviscerated. Often the cases in family courts are
00:08:27.880 based on false accusations. The first thing family law attorneys do, particularly with women, is
00:08:33.400 saying, I think he hit you, didn't he? And until they get that, yes. And then once that goes out,
00:08:40.800 the police will investigate. Most of the time they find there hadn't been an assault here.
00:08:44.440 there's no charges but by that time the court has the accusation and they issue ex parte
00:08:50.120 restraining orders and everything else just based on the accusation no proof whatsoever
00:08:55.880 it is amazing what they do they pluck guys from their home
00:08:59.560 is that why the lawyers pander oh that just made a lot of because sometimes i'll talk to lawyers
00:09:16.060 and i just feel like they're lying and i don't know i don't know why but i just like um there's
00:09:22.540 one that replied to me recently when i said men like in general are better parents and he was like
00:09:29.020 well no you don't always know that and I was just like yeah but you can look at abuse stats and you
00:09:34.980 can come to a conclusion I'm not saying it's 100 some men are terrible dads sure some women but
00:09:40.380 I was I always find it odd when someone's arguing with me about a fact you know and um it just the
00:09:48.800 way they they react to that is just very strange I guess well you always have to remember that
00:09:53.820 between the judge and the two attorneys that are involved in any divorce these people play golf
00:09:58.560 together.