Pearl - She Was 70 Years Old When She Got Divorced

00:00:00.000 What's interesting, though, is that when men get divorced, when men take L's, they don't get

00:00:04.560 articles written about them. A new life after 60. I was devastated by a divorce at 70, but at 102,

00:00:12.460 I know the secrets of a well-lived life. So there's this idea that women of the past were different.

00:00:19.880 And I do push back on this idea. I would say that women of the past had less opportunity

00:00:27.660 and less choice. But had they been given the same thing, I think they would have made the same

00:00:34.000 choices. I don't know why, guys, they always want, like, they think that if they go to a different

00:00:38.980 country or if they go to a different point in history, women still won't be women.

00:00:45.920 But yeah, I just, that's not what I see. Because I've interviewed older women and their answers

00:00:50.480 are kind of similar. All right, a new start after 60. I was devastated by a divorce at 70,

00:00:56.900 but at 102, I knew the secrets of a well-lived life. It's hard to put a size on things that can

00:01:02.180 happen in your life, Gladys McCarthy says. At 102, it's understandable she would feel this way.

00:01:08.720 Shortly after she was 70, her husband, Bill, to whom she had been married for 46 years,

00:01:13.680 handed her divorce papers. He had been carrying them in a briefcase for six months and said he

00:01:18.180 would appreciate a prompt signature. McGarry and Bill had only been, had not only been married

00:01:23.460 for decades, but were also close colleagues. They were both doctors who had trained as practitioners

00:01:28.440 and were among the co-founders of the American Holistic Medicine Association in 1978. For the

00:01:34.960 duration of their marriage, they had shared a clinic in Phoenix, Arizona, as well as having

00:01:38.840 six children together. So when the marriage ended, Bill had started a relationship with another

00:01:43.540 colleague. McGarry not only lost her life partner, but also her business partner too.

00:01:49.000 It blindsided me and I was broken, she says. So a lot of times what happens is this is like the

00:01:57.180 feminist worst nightmare to spend your youth on a guy and to have a bunch of kids. And now you're

00:02:05.460 kind of screwed when you're old. That's, that's like feminist worst nightmare. Now, let's be honest,

00:02:10.820 the majority of the time women are the ones leaving. So this isn't overly likely to happen,

00:02:16.320 but this is the worst nightmare. Her daughter, Helen, had recently joined a practice and mother

00:02:23.420 and daughter went their own way, opening a new nearby clinic in Scottsdale. While McGarry had

00:02:28.560 something to get up for each morning, the pain of her separation was immense. The hardest thing she

00:02:34.320 had ever faced. Harder, she says, than the boot of cancer she went through in her 30s and 90s.

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00:04:19.440 It's not a matter of getting over stuff. It's a matter of living through it, she says now. Speaking

00:04:23.740 on a Zoom call from a house that she built at Helen's invitation behind her daughter's home.

00:04:29.420 If you can live through issues that you've been faced with, they become one of your teachers.

00:04:34.020 But it's a slow process. It wasn't until 93 that I really accepted it, she said. And clutching with

00:04:39.720 the air in her hand, you get to that part where you can kind of hang on. One turning point came

00:04:46.140 when McGarry was driving back from her and Helen's clinic and she received an invitation to Bill's

00:04:52.440 wedding. I was so angry, I was screaming. I pulled over to the side of the road and thought to myself,

00:04:56.940 are you going to keep going on like this? This is really gross. So the other question is,

00:05:01.280 what kind of wife was she for 50 years? Because men have an innate sense of guilt,

00:05:06.960 right? They really don't like leaving women. It's like in their biology to not and to keep

00:05:12.940 taking care of women. I mean, that's why so many men stay with like fat wives, bitchy wives,

00:05:18.920 nagging wives. So if he divorced her, my question is, was he really bad, just an evil guy who wanted

00:05:27.160 to leave his wife or maybe what was her part to play? Her parents, okay, wait. So she, okay, wait.

00:05:38.380 McGarry is a Presbyterian. Her parents were medical missionaries and she was raised in India till she

00:05:45.360 was 15 in a car. In the car, a verse from the Bible came to her. This is the Lord the day has

00:05:51.660 made. Let us rejoice, rejoice and be glad in it. So she bought a license plate for her car and she

00:05:57.280 said, be glad to remind her there was a lot in her marriage that I really treasured. Looking back,

00:06:02.220 she can now see that her divorce was a critical and constructive turning point. Prior to that,

00:06:08.680 I really didn't trust my own voice. Being dyslexic meant that she always had to feel slow.

00:06:14.040 I really didn't think I had a voice. She said, I knew I had a voice. After the divorce,

00:06:18.640 it was no longer Bill and Gladys. It was Gladys McCart, McGarry medical doctor. I reclaimed what

00:06:24.640 I had. It was not just as Bill's partner. I don't regret one minute that I spent as Bill's wife,

00:06:29.560 she said. But while he died in 2008, my life is taking an amazing dimension that are completely

00:06:36.080 not associated with him. What I chose is working for me. McGarry never remarried. People would ask if

00:06:41.960 I was dating and I would say, why would I take care of another old man? No, thank you. She retired at 86,

00:06:47.540 but continued to offer telephone consultations. She has appointments after we finished speaking.

00:06:52.680 She no longer has a license to practice, but as she puts it, nobody told me I had to stop talking.

00:06:57.660 Indeed, at 100, she discovered a 10x talk on holistic medicine and her central belief that she

00:07:04.040 has a colleague within each patient who does the healing as I do the other part of it, which is

00:07:09.600 what I know and understand to be the field of medicine. Okay, so what's interesting, though,

00:07:17.040 is that when men get divorced, when men take L's, they don't get articles written out about them.

00:07:23.680 So, I mean, how many 100-year-old, or maybe not 100, but like 80-year-old guys are completely

00:07:28.960 screwed because their wife left them and robbed them. But we have a whole society that if women ever

00:07:34.820 take an L, there's like a whole infrastructure in place to make them feel like it's not an L and

00:07:40.940 we're just victims. Okay, let's see what else we've got here. Special announcement, the Cornstar,

00:07:50.600 Brittany Lamora, is coming on Friday to have a discussion. So that'll be kind of fun.

00:07:58.060 Um, okay, I'm gonna play my divorce documentary trailer while I go blow my nose because...

Pearl - August 31, 2025

She Was 70 Years Old When She Got Divorced - Now She's 100 And Alone

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