Pearl - December 26, 2025


The Insanity of an "Open" Marriage


Episode Stats

Length

17 minutes

Words per Minute

182.72212

Word Count

3,124

Sentence Count

14

Misogynist Sentences

18

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 don't want to put it like because it shows she has no respect for him doesn't really care if she
00:00:04.240 loses him i don't think there is always value and honesty i don't think that's always like a good
00:00:10.080 thing what up guys welcome to my reaction series today we are reacting to women talking about rules
00:00:17.280 in an open marriage it's kind of crazy how quickly this window has moved in the last decade when i
00:00:25.760 was in high school i didn't know a single person that did the swinging and the open marriage thing
00:00:30.560 and now it i don't know if it's because i i got older and i found out about it or it's been way
00:00:35.600 more prevalent but i've i've heard people in real life that i know talk about it um like they know
00:00:40.720 people that do it or they met at like i know one couple that met at a swinging club i'm like what
00:00:45.600 husband and i have had an open marriage for about a year and a half by request these are our rules
00:00:49.680 and boundaries and this is part three we also have a rule with each other that we don't come
00:00:53.440 home with marks um i bruise easily and i'm very clumsy um so covered in them anyway but um out of
00:01:00.080 respect um yeah we don't come home with okay um i guess that's a reasonable no marks i mean look
00:01:06.960 if they're two consenting adults i'm not here to babysit what two consenting adults are doing i
00:01:12.720 just i don't have the time for this but god i need to suit her husband looks like he's got to be so
00:01:19.360 cocked from our other partners for us there is nothing secret about our relationships with the
00:01:24.720 other people and the other people we're dating we aren't the kind of people who really enjoy
00:01:29.040 sharing or hearing details with each other well that's not true i think i enjoy sharing but
00:01:33.440 neither of us enjoy hearing them about each other but so if anything happens where something new
00:01:37.920 happens or it's something the kind of story i would tell a friend i've heard that as somebody
00:01:42.640 else's guideline for their open relationship before um we tell each other once i held off
00:01:48.240 on telling him something because i was like well i knew you wouldn't love hearing this and i thought
00:01:51.840 it might make you upset and he was like well that's kind of exactly why i need to hear it
00:01:56.320 because i want to know fully what i'm agreeing to as far as opening up our relationship
00:02:01.840 okay so now the husband wants to know everything he's agreeing to i think some men just have the
00:02:07.120 cuck gene i mean the only way they could have reproduced is by getting cucked so if you think
00:02:11.440 it's something that there's two types of cut like okay i think destiny is like the king of cuck like
00:02:17.600 he's the least cucked cucked person because i think he cheated on melania more than she cheated
00:02:23.280 on him and therefore he's kind of the cucker whereas um a lot of these guys i mean if they
00:02:30.800 can't get poonanny like i don't want to put it like if a girl has a husband and they open it up
00:02:36.400 and the husband's getting more 20 year old hot ass than she's getting dick down uh is he really
00:02:42.400 cucked do you know what i mean like they get this old brawn obviously like ones obviously none of
00:02:48.800 these are ideal but do you guys see the thought process but i just can't imagine the guy married
00:02:53.280 to her looks that good and is getting really good i don't know it'll upset me it'll probably upset
00:02:58.960 me but i do want to know we try not to message or text in front of each other excessively like
00:03:04.160 you can answer a message or say one thing but um if we notice that each other is distracted and
00:03:10.240 you're messaging somebody else you're dating it feels kind of i mean this is just like a branch
00:03:14.720 swing you know i've been baiting on our time with each other so we try not to do that we don't have
00:03:20.160 any rules about the stuff you can do physically with other people um aside from the no marks and
00:03:24.720 always wearing uh protection it really feels good to me to govern what we do with our own bodies
00:03:30.000 for safety for me on dates i share the full name and address of where we're going to um with my
00:03:35.440 husband whenever i go to any guy's house for the first time i always also keep my google location
00:03:40.880 on invisible to my husband and vice versa if either of us has a friend over here it's your
00:03:45.280 job to clean up and stuff obviously like drinks and whatever but also if the one of us who isn't
00:03:50.000 home needs to come home you have the priority to interrupt and get here when you need to get here
00:03:55.440 for whatever reason i was very shy about that at first but he and the woman he was seeing was like
00:04:00.000 it's your house that's it for our rules tell me yours okay well at least he had a girl he was
00:04:06.800 seeing okay let's see non-monogamy married i really want to see what the husband looks like
00:04:14.080 oh no i got laid off again i brought um dating a non all right she does stand up
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00:05:50.920 with confidence not confusion use code pearl for a hundred dollars off if you have any poly friends
00:05:58.920 you know that as a group we're pretty dorky it's a pretty nerdy community dating a poly person is
00:06:06.040 kind of like making a deal with the devil where you can have incredible sex with somebody who
00:06:11.960 makes it their hobby to be good at it but a row of pokemon plushies will be watching
00:06:22.200 you can meet a guy who knows exactly how your body works right off the bat somehow he will meow at you
00:06:29.240 if you have any poly friends uh you know that i mean she's kind of funny is there a
00:06:47.720 okay i can't see the guy meaning he's probably oh she came out to her family and put that online
00:06:53.960 oh god oh god she's put everything up here oh my god okay let's let's see the next one
00:07:01.880 um i haven't seen a really hot poly girl yet i mean this is cute yesterday i had a comment in
00:07:08.920 the response to my video and about how my polyamorous marriage works now if you don't
00:07:15.000 know me i'm courtney i'm a polyamorous mom of three married to a monogamous man and if you're
00:07:20.120 interested in following my journey i encourage you to so the question that i got asked was do
00:07:25.480 you have any rules now this is something that has evolved over time since we've had the marriage
00:07:31.560 open for about two and a half years and right now um and for the foreseeable future we have three
00:07:37.960 rules uh the first one is and let me start by saying none of these rules were in like you have
00:07:45.960 to do this these were after conversations that my husband and i had together about what feels good
00:07:51.800 what's considerate and you know serves the greater purpose of what i'm looking for as a polyamorous
00:07:57.800 woman so the first rule is video chat before first date and this is a huge safety thing for me
00:08:05.560 surprisingly i have actually had guys like rescind them asking me out on a date when i said hey
00:08:11.640 i'd really like to do a video call before we meet and they're like absolutely not and so then i say
00:08:17.640 yeah because if the reason they do that is because it's just a sign that she doesn't
00:08:22.200 like you that much if you really like a guy you're like let's meet immediately
00:08:27.800 okay then we won't be meeting um so that's rule number one rule number two is no sex on the first
00:08:34.280 date this was something that again came from me because i am not looking for a casual sexual
00:08:40.840 relationship i'm looking for a romantic long-term partner i found that if sex is on the table for
00:08:47.400 the first date it tends to um change the vibe of really what i'm looking for so that's rule number
00:08:54.440 two and rule number three is use protection be smart and be safe that's it i'm allowed to fall
00:09:01.080 in love i'm allowed to travel i've heard that most people that swinging swing catch herpes at some
00:09:05.880 point i mean i guess if you're that old who cares i know that's not the best attitude to have but
00:09:16.120 like if you catch something at 50 do you i mean doesn't do you know what i mean it's like you're
00:09:22.760 almost like okay you gotta live with it for like 20 years and with my other partner when i have one
00:09:29.320 meet his family buy him gifts stay at his house um there's no like limits on okay let's see how
00:09:37.500 cocked is this guy let's see oh my god the husband stayed monogamous oh so i recruited my monogamous
00:09:45.280 husband to help answer this question he looks exactly like you would think he would look how
00:09:49.660 slow do you go yes thank you for uh letting me join um so i would say for us and what worked
00:09:57.640 well for us and we're just one example was to go at the pace of the slowest person this guy so
00:10:04.680 we never had questions or concerns uh courtney would address them and then it's so crazy because
00:10:10.380 god she's just humiliating him oh he's so he she also gave me lots of resources to find out more
00:10:20.400 information about non-monogamy and polyamory and sort of to help me understand as well as books
00:10:25.960 and podcasts and other things to read so that was really helpful for me but i would say ultimately
00:10:30.520 you likely need to go at about this lower person's pace like how long is that like a year before they
00:10:35.640 can go on a date yeah i mean at some point you're gonna have to decide to go on a date for us it was
00:10:39.640 about six months and that worked good for us so that's one way of doing it but try to go at the
00:10:44.920 pace yeah like maybe not do an overnight first you know like coffee go yeah go on a coffee date
00:10:50.840 and see how that goes so cheering you on i think cheating would be more respectful than this
00:10:57.960 i don't know to put it like because it shows she has no respect for him
00:11:01.400 he doesn't really care if she loses him i don't think there is always like um
00:11:08.200 value and honesty i don't think that's always like a good thing that we should be like thankful for
00:11:16.200 i mean because it's not like the men are honest with us when we start getting old and we're
00:11:20.040 they're like yeah your your punani's kind of you know used now and i guess i'll marry you
00:11:27.400 like if men's um wedding vows were honest it would say i got dragged down the aisle
00:11:34.440 um you're the hottest girl i could get and you're not even that hot so this is kind of a
00:11:41.480 disappointment but i guess i'll do it fine it's just you made it the easiest so i'll take it
00:11:48.120 it back with a part two of this is the cutest polyamorous girl let's see
00:11:54.000 just don't want to be milf um bi feminine here for a good time oh no
00:11:59.820 crazy okay let's let's see what she has to say but i just
00:12:18.120 these guys just kind of look exactly how i think they would look and i'm back with a part two of
00:12:24.200 how we told our children that we have an open marriage if you want part one make sure hold
00:12:29.640 your kids you skedaddle your little booty to part one and watch it but basically if you're new here
00:12:35.240 my husband and i have an open marriage we both date other people i am also bisexual and i've
00:12:40.840 had a girlfriend for about a year now and we also have a six and almost nine year old and we just
00:12:46.440 told them as well about our little dynamic so like i said in part one we wanted to make this
00:12:51.240 conversation very natural very nonchalant not a big deal and not weird at all the weirder you
00:12:56.680 make things the weirder kids make things kids are very intuitive so anywho we're at the kitchen
00:13:01.720 table and they're eating their hot dogs and their strawberries i'm a nervous wreck about to put my
00:13:05.880 pants my husband starts us off so he starts off by like saying you know how we talk about all the
00:13:10.840 time how families can look different right and then we go into you know how mommy has jackie
00:13:16.920 this friend jackie who's you know been hanging around for quite some time the thing is who are
00:13:21.320 these people that are coming in and out of their kids life it's just not at least a men cheat they
00:13:26.200 do it respectfully they'll do it in a different city in a different country um they at least are
00:13:33.160 respectfully cheating but women it's like we find a way to do everything worse like this is the most
00:13:39.800 disrespectful thing imagine we all know it would be if a man really hides his cheating he actually
00:13:46.680 is showing some care for the woman but if a woman like she's kind of disrupting her kid's life for
00:13:55.000 her selfish desires like i i honestly think that cheating would be better i think cheating in
00:14:02.120 another city would be better than what you're putting these people through now and they're
00:14:06.040 just like yeah yeah okay okay then i told them you know jackie is mommy's girlfriend my youngest
00:14:11.640 just all of a sudden goes girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend and my oldest just keeps continuing
00:14:17.400 to eat this hot dog so me thinking i need to explain it more i'm like okay guys you know like
00:14:21.800 i have the same feelings for you know jackie as i do for daddy i have romantic feelings so she's
00:14:26.920 not just a friend you know jackie is mommy's girlfriend and you know aj is sitting right next
00:14:31.880 to me reiterating everything i'm saying and they're just like okay we get it okay of course
00:14:38.020 we're both like guys do you have any questions like this is a safe space just so you know like
00:14:42.300 mommy and daddy are great nothing's gonna happen with us nothing's gonna change if anything you
00:14:47.680 just have this bonus person now who is part of our family and who you're gonna make memories with
00:14:52.900 and who's gonna love you and care for you so we're like okay guys like any questions like let us know
00:14:57.960 do you understand and finally our oldest is like i have a question and i'm like oh no so he goes
00:15:06.360 how did you get these strawberries so juicy mom and the thing is kids a lot of times when i hate
00:15:14.440 it when mothers say oh my kids accept it i mean they don't know anything different right when
00:15:18.920 you're a child you know it's kind of like there were some nannies i hated and you know my mom
00:15:26.680 would probably tell people oh and some of them were great it's not all but there's a few that
00:15:31.480 i just did not get along with and i could see my mom saying oh but they're okay they're fine with
00:15:37.160 the nannies but like when you're a kid you don't know there's another choice and you're afraid of
00:15:44.040 your mother to some extent or maybe your father too depending on the kind of dad but like and you
00:15:50.280 don't i don't know like it's weird because things make sense when you get older yeah
00:15:58.600 so obviously it went really smoothly um we we really truly believe that it went so smoothly
00:16:05.400 and they were so just like unfazed by it because of how we prepped them for this conversation and
00:16:11.640 how we've basically been prepping them like their entire life for conversations like these yeah these
00:16:16.680 this guy looks exactly like i think he would look you know we've read them books we've talked about
00:16:21.000 how relationships can look like how different families can look and we really think that that
00:16:26.680 has set a really great great foundation for them to be able to be open-minded and to be able to
00:16:31.240 think for themselves and as always we're always open to healthy conversation around this topic
00:16:37.560 yeah um i think cheating would be more respectful than this
00:16:43.320 cheating would be more respectful bring back cheating it's better than this bullshit
00:16:50.580 it's better than this open cucking
00:16:53.600 cheating at least shows some regard for the other person's feelings anyways guys let me know you
00:17:00.100 think of the comments like the video subscribe to the channel and i'll bring it and bring that
00:17:03.760 notification bell i'll see you next time