00:02:57.340Um, and now he's, like, arrested and he knows where this my friend lives and, like, all this stuff.
00:03:04.140And I'm thinking, dude, that that need to feel like a good person has now tortured everyone around you because, you know, you brought this kid in.
00:03:13.380Now your family is, you know, in danger and yada, yada, yada.
00:03:18.360And I don't know what the solution to this is, because I don't know.
00:03:26.420I don't know what the solution is to this, but it just seems like there's a lot of torture.
00:03:30.100And that comes because of, especially white people, our need to feel like good people.
00:03:35.640I can transcend that to, I grew up in a Catholic-like conservative area.0.63
00:03:41.400And so many of the fathers just enabled the mothers torturing everybody,
00:03:47.060giving them time, attention, resources to torture all of us with.
00:03:53.000You know, and because the fathers have this need to feel like a good dad0.98
00:03:58.480and be supportive and all that's bullshit right right it wouldn't be bullshit if it worked but0.92
00:04:03.880um you know now they're torturing all of us and it's like the circle of torture0.81
00:04:10.700um I also thought about how when I was growing up this is kind of related kind of not my favorite
00:04:20.660coach I ever had was a coach that screamed at me and yelled at me all the time but I improved
00:04:28.940well okay wait let me let me backtrack so I was a big volleyball player and I started off at the
00:04:35.080worst team in my club there's black red white and I was on 15 white when I started and I was a
00:04:40.260bench warmer and every year I worked my way up to the next team so like I remember I was on I didn't
00:04:48.300know 14 white I was a bench warmer 15 white I got to play um then I made 16 red and the coaches and
00:04:56.140it was a really big deal because I finally jumped teams and for me that was the hardest jump and um
00:05:01.780when I was on um when I was on that team the coaches were really like they would scream at1.00
00:05:11.140you and yell at you and they're my favorite coaches I ever had I don't know women are0.97
00:05:14.640glutton for punishment but I've noticed a lot of coaches that are really beloved actually are not0.68
00:05:20.480nice to their um to the people they coach they yell at them they scream at them but there's
00:05:25.860someone there's something about somebody that makes you earn it or is very stern and strict
00:05:33.080with you that almost signals that they care more because they don't care about being liked
00:05:39.240they don't care about being nice they care about you getting better um and I remember those coaches
00:05:46.080they were pretty harsh to me but it helped me become like better um the next year I was a
00:05:52.940starter on that team and the year after I made it to um 18 black and that was a big deal for me