REAL AF with Andy Frisella - May 11, 2026


1024. Q&AF: Handling Guilt Of Wanting More, Loneliness Of Leadership & Navigating The Suck Phase


Episode Stats


Length

38 minutes

Words per minute

190.9908

Word count

7,352

Sentence count

136


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies the
00:00:20.900 fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys we have
00:00:25.060 Q&AF today. That's where you submit the questions
00:00:27.320 and we give you the
00:00:29.160 answers. You can submit your questions a whole bunch
00:00:31.180 of different ways. DJ's going to tell you how. Guys, you
00:00:33.180 can email your questions in to
00:00:34.700 askandy at andyfricella.com. You can also
00:00:37.320 click the link in the description below, submit
00:00:39.240 them there, or just write them in the comments
00:00:41.360 of the Q&AF videos on YouTube.
00:00:44.000 Guys, if this is your first time listening,
00:00:45.420 we have shows within the show. You're going to hear Q&AF
00:00:47.480 right now. We also have CTI.
00:00:49.380 You'll hear that tomorrow. That stands for Cruise, the
00:00:51.200 Internet. That's where we put topics on
00:00:53.300 the screen we speculate on what's going on in the world we talk about uh how stupid some of these
00:00:57.760 dudes are and what we the people need to do to fix these problems in the world other times we're
00:01:02.640 gonna have real talk that's just 5 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk and then we have 75
00:01:06.920 hard verses that is where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show
00:01:11.480 they talk about how they were before how they are now and how they use the 75 hard program to
00:01:15.540 transform their lives if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard
00:01:21.100 program which is available at episode 208 on the audio feed only that's 208 on the audio feed is
00:01:29.300 the world's most famous popular utilized mental transformation program in history all right and
00:01:37.560 it's free again episode 208 on the audio feed there's also a book called the book on mental
00:01:41.960 toughness you can get that at andy for seller.com it's not free but it is much more in depth if you
00:01:48.160 want to get that that's cool too uh we are the largest show in the world that does not run ads
00:01:54.420 so we do a little trade with you guys we're not going to spend 20 minutes worth of advertisements
00:01:58.780 in your ear every single show and instead we just ask that if you uh like the show if it makes you
00:02:04.860 laugh it gives you a perspective it teaches you something if you think it's something people need
00:02:08.860 to learn from and hear just do us a favor man don't be a hoe share the show all right what's
00:02:13.800 up dude guten morgen all right german listeners out there i don't know man what's going on with
00:02:20.640 you though bro how you doing doing good yeah yeah yeah just wrapped up a car show yeah bro it was
00:02:26.740 fucking sick turnout yeah it was awesome sick turnout there was some sick shit out there when
00:02:30.400 we get in the semi done dog i don't know man that is one of the coolest vehicles i ever saw it's
00:02:34.860 fucking sick dude this guy comes out uh from jack's wax in columbus ohio with this slammed
00:02:40.660 international semi all black and chrome oh man this it's nasty dude it's fucking nasty we got
00:02:49.060 we got to get one we got to get one bro yeah beautiful turnout dude it was awesome um and it
00:02:54.940 is monday it's time to get people better let's do it let's fucking do it i got three good ones for
00:02:59.040 you guys andy question number one andy i grew up in a pretty average family my my parents worked
00:03:07.220 hard, kept food on the table, and honestly gave me a good life. But now that I'm older,
00:03:12.240 I want way more out of life than what I grew up around. More money, more freedom, bigger goals,
00:03:17.560 all of it. And sometimes I actually feel guilty for wanting that. Like I'm somehow disrespecting
00:03:24.740 where I came from or acting like I'm too good for a normal life. Did you ever struggle with
00:03:29.620 that tension between appreciating where you came from while still wanting a completely different
00:03:34.600 in life look you guys got to understand man the whole point of good parents is that they are
00:03:42.740 setting you up to do better than what they did that is the point and you can be proud of your
00:03:48.340 parents and you can be grateful for what you had and still want more and I promise you if your
00:03:53.220 parents are actually good parents which they probably are that's what they did all this stuff
00:03:58.440 for you for so you can't let your because this all comes from people in society man like and the
00:04:08.960 noise from the small minority of people that are bitter and frustrated and you know have chosen
00:04:18.380 to not go after their dreams and not go after their goals and not become what they could be
00:04:25.280 and then pretend as if they chose this life under the guise of being humble.
00:04:32.020 There's a lot of people out there like that, but you have to understand
00:04:35.320 these are the people who will say things to you.
00:04:38.280 Like, oh, you think you're too good for us or, oh, you think this or that.
00:04:42.120 And all you have to hear it is once or twice, and it makes you feel very guilty.
00:04:47.900 But you got to understand that's bullshit.
00:04:49.820 that's coming from people who have never and will never do anything with their life even though
00:04:57.660 they still had the same opportunity to do that so what happens with these people is
00:05:02.540 they feel the way that you feel at some point in their life they had goals they had dreams
00:05:07.680 they had ambitions and for whatever reason maybe it was too hard maybe uh you know they they
00:05:15.740 succumbed to the social pressure of keeping it real and staying small like for whatever reason
00:05:23.780 they didn't go and then what happens is over time in order to deal with like the frustration and
00:05:32.460 the anger that they have with themselves for not going they convince themselves that this lesser
00:05:40.100 version is actually what they wanted right and that there's some sort of virtue to it and that
00:05:45.080 you know they're living at a higher moral standard than you because you know i'm humble and i'm
00:05:52.340 grateful and dude this is just a disguise for their own dissatisfaction of their own choices
00:05:57.520 in life and these people often will say things to people who have goals and dreams and ambitions
00:06:03.920 that if you're a good person they're going to make you hesitate a little bit it's like oh
00:06:09.160 fuck i didn't like that i don't want to be seen like that right i don't want to yeah but what
00:06:14.040 you don't understand is that by you giving up on what it is that you have in your heart and what
00:06:21.120 your dreams are those things were placed inside of you for a reason they didn't come from nowhere
00:06:27.720 okay all of us were born with some sort of purpose or goal or mission here some people were born to
00:06:34.660 build businesses some people were born to become coaches some people were born to be great parents
00:06:39.640 some people were born to do all these different things that the world needs and if you don't go
00:06:46.080 pursue that the only person that is going to be angry at you about it long term is you because
00:06:51.960 those people that say those little things to you they don't give a shit okay this is gossip to them
00:06:58.100 this is a fleeting thought this is something that comes in their mind and goes out and sometimes
00:07:03.260 people say things they don't even know they're fucking saying them right and they don't understand
00:07:07.080 how it'll affect you and the truth of the matter is dude is we tend to believe that when we hear
00:07:14.300 those things that that's everybody's perception when the truth is it's not nobody gives a shit
00:07:21.080 what you do okay people are too worried about their own lives they're too worried about what
00:07:25.500 they have or don't have they're too concerned with their own thing and because someone makes
00:07:30.620 a fleeting statement at some point in your life the wrong way or the wrong tone or it makes you
00:07:38.580 feel a certain way it sticks with you and then you assume that everybody feels that way and it's
00:07:42.880 just not the truth most people are going to look at you and admire your ambition and admire your
00:07:49.340 drive and say man I'm proud of you and I would hope that your parents are going to be the most
00:07:54.600 proud because dude they did struggle and they struggled for a reason they didn't struggle so
00:08:01.080 that you could sit on your ass and waste your talents and your dreams and your goals that's not
00:08:05.120 why they did that they did that so that you would have the opportunity to go out and do more than
00:08:10.900 they did and so you shouldn't have guilt about doing better than your parents are but you should
00:08:18.920 have extreme gratitude that they did the harder work of putting you in a position to have that
00:08:25.820 happen. And that is a noble thing for your parents. So the way that you should feel about it
00:08:30.880 is very grateful and very appreciative. And when you get to the place where it is, you know,
00:08:36.040 you should be trying to take care of them and make their lives better. And dude, I'll be real.
00:08:40.420 That's one of the most rewarding things about becoming successful is that you could take care
00:08:45.120 the people around you that took care of you and you didn't have anything. All right. So,
00:08:50.100 and let's take this a step further. I know a lot of you guys struggle with this feeling of guilt
00:08:57.060 about trying to be successful, but dude, this is a biblical concept. Okay. There's a concept in the
00:09:03.440 Bible called the parable of talents. All right. And you need to go read it. And the whole point
00:09:09.260 of it is that jesus rewards the people who take their talents and scale them out into the world
00:09:18.560 okay he doesn't reward the people who hold on to him he doesn't reward the people who waste them
00:09:23.200 he loves the people who take the talents and let them out into the world so that everybody can be
00:09:29.500 inspired and everybody can learn it can do good things and being coming financially successful
00:09:35.060 with your talents is what you're supposed to do and that's a biblical concept all right so when
00:09:42.140 you have this and you know you might hear me saying oh yeah it doesn't matter well I don't
00:09:47.040 know that's what Jesus said too okay so if all else fails go read that and tell me what you think
00:09:55.420 because this feeling of not wanting to go because of guilt it's total bullshit man okay so you have
00:10:03.720 to understand you were blessed with a vision you were blessed with a drive you were blessed with
00:10:09.680 an ambition and if you don't put those things out in the world that's not what you're supposed to do
00:10:17.220 man so dude it makes me think too it's like you know you kind of touched on it's like how much
00:10:22.780 of that is just internal noise you're creating you know i'm saying like it's just static you're
00:10:26.680 creating on your own bro dude it's the same thing look dude i can remember random people
00:10:35.140 that i don't even really remember or know outside of that one or two things they said to me like
00:10:43.020 that okay and what it makes you believe is that that person is constantly running around saying
00:10:48.420 that shit about you no that person was drunk or in a bad mood or frustrated or angry and they
00:10:56.300 showed their own insecurity and they projected it on you that's what happened that's all that is
00:11:01.220 yeah yeah it's probably a fleeting statement i know this for sure i remember the people who said
00:11:08.580 all these things to me and there's been a number of times where i've run into those people and
00:11:14.820 i've said it back to them and i've said hey remember when you said that i think we're doing
00:11:18.940 all right now and i'll say it as a joke i don't say it like hey fuck you yeah i'll smile and we'll
00:11:23.380 make a joke out of it even though on the inside i'm like yeah fuck you that's right you're right
00:11:26.620 right eat that shit yeah so but uh but dude every single time they don't remember it they don't
00:11:33.620 they'll say i didn't say that and i'll be like dude i promise you yeah right that was 20 years
00:11:38.360 ago you think i'm fucking making it up i remember it and uh they never do and and dude the reason
00:11:44.380 they don't remember is because it's a fleeting thing that they're spouting off and so many people
00:11:49.280 kill their dreams and their their their life and everything that they could have been because of
00:11:53.960 some fucking moron at one point in your life who said this one thing and you've probably run into
00:11:59.800 three or four of those people and those things stick with you and that's okay dude because you
00:12:04.180 can use that shit I mean fuck dude I used all that shit to build myself into who I am and I
00:12:09.680 still use it I still fucking think about those things intentionally um but you know I know what
00:12:17.440 i'm really dealing with here what i'm dealing with is some idiot who said some dumb shit
00:12:22.280 and i'm smart enough to understand that but i still use it yeah you know one other thing too
00:12:27.600 that we've talked about before off air bro and it hits when because i think this is important
00:12:32.920 for the young crowd too if more people knew how much good comes from winning yeah you know i'm
00:12:38.980 saying like and you described this once to me it's like you know because when you were young
00:12:42.800 you wanted the fucking coontage yeah how many jobs how many careers have you created because
00:12:48.340 you wanted that fucking coontage correct thousands you know i'm saying if more people knew how much
00:12:52.440 good comes from fucking just winning i mean how we just had cars and coffee yeah i do you remember
00:12:57.660 the kid that came up he's like bro your lambo was the first one i ever saw manchester road yeah when
00:13:02.460 i was like eight years old yeah i got a lawn care business i'm doing this and this right okay that's
00:13:07.380 the shit that happens okay and you don't know it and so like that's even taking it further like not
00:13:13.180 only should you go out and win you should let it shine a little bit and and walk in that fucking
00:13:18.700 power because dude that's extremely impactful for people and i know it's uncomfortable i had a buddy
00:13:25.280 of mine who uh sold his company for over a billion dollars and you know his share was a few hundred
00:13:33.200 million dollars okay now when the transaction happened he was like 100k in debt you know he
00:13:40.920 didn't have a lot of money and it changed his life and i saw on his social media the other day
00:13:48.160 like somebody had made a comment about like kind of a hater comment right and he put it on the
00:13:55.540 social media made a reel he's like yeah but here's what you don't see in this and that and kind of
00:13:58.940 explain himself. And I sent him a DM and I said, Hey, I said, never, ever, ever let those people
00:14:06.340 affect you. You have to understand your story is incredible. You did all that work. They could
00:14:13.040 have done that same shit. They could have went out and did these things. You did that. And that's
00:14:17.820 inspired so many people that you will never even know the ripple effect of what you've done is so
00:14:24.800 impressive and if you keep the results of that to yourself you're hurting other people you're
00:14:31.900 hurting them you're keeping them from dude there could be a kid out there like little andy who
00:14:37.740 sees that and it snaps him into like holy shit dude i'm gonna do something great okay and this
00:14:43.600 guy bro he i will say this okay i know a lot of guys with a lot of money and none of them know
00:14:50.880 how to spend it as good as me okay like you know what i mean buy dumb shit they don't know what
00:14:56.420 the fuck they're doing this guy's cool like he built a he built a really cool three level uh
00:15:02.120 loft apartment and a high rise and it's like all james bondish and super clap so badass
00:15:09.400 and he's starting to get into cars and do all these things and he's nervous about people
00:15:15.440 thinking so i'm like how can they hurt you you're already fucking sold they're not gonna hurt you
00:15:19.100 yeah we're gonna say shitty fucking penthouse yeah bro you know it's just tie that shit into
00:15:23.920 your journey man let people know where you come from let people know your story so you know because
00:15:30.560 a lot i just shared this last week on my story for those of you that follow me on instagram
00:15:34.080 you know i put my before and after pictures up there which i haven't done in a long time
00:15:39.560 and there were so many people that were like dude i didn't even know that you used to be that big
00:15:45.280 i i've always seen you as you are now i didn't even know that that's crazy that's incredible
00:15:49.940 and then right after it i i shared i reshared a post off my instagram that kind of gave the
00:15:55.880 timeline of our entire success story and i said i said for those of you that think that i was
00:16:02.340 somehow this just was the way it was this read this everything i've earned everything i have
00:16:08.380 in my life i've earned like literally the hard way all right i'm not that fucking smart i'm
00:16:13.940 smart enough to not make the same mistakes over and over again and I'm tough enough to keep going
00:16:19.600 and that's why I am where I am but there were so many people that follow me now that didn't even
00:16:25.560 know that like they didn't even know how we started they didn't know that we got the money
00:16:31.140 to start this on twelve thousand dollars from painting parking lots they didn't know that it
00:16:36.240 took us 10 years to make 58 grand total they didn't know they didn't know these things and
00:16:42.460 those are the things that really show people okay man well maybe I can do this all right so it's very
00:16:50.220 important for you guys to not only pursue what it is you know you're supposed to pursue but it's
00:16:57.480 also important to share it and it's also important not fucking apologize for it you did that they
00:17:03.880 didn't do that there's nobody can make me feel bad for what the fuck I've done bro they haven't
00:17:08.420 been here the last 27 motherfucking years they're not waking up every day doing the same thing over
00:17:13.220 and over and over for damn near three decades the only thing they've done that long is eat breathe
00:17:18.300 and take shits okay so like not in that order so the point is is that that's your reward that's
00:17:27.640 why you do this and it shows people that are like this person right here that's young it has
00:17:33.900 ambitions that like not only do they have a chance but it makes them think man i need to be that guy
00:17:38.960 for the next thing and this ties into what we talk about about personal excellence being the
00:17:42.780 ultimate rebellion because when you start the ripple effect and it's how many people do we
00:17:48.060 come up to us they say hey i lost 70 80 100 200 pounds hundreds fuck dude there was a literally
00:17:53.220 a hundred literally that came up today saying that showing before and after pics bro yeah
00:17:57.140 that's coming from me choosing to say fuck it i'm going and that will happen to you too but you got
00:18:05.380 to have that courage in the beginning you gotta let go of this these two or three or five statements
00:18:10.520 that people say that they don't even really understand what they're saying or how it affects
00:18:14.960 you wipe that shit out you know or use it the right way and go out and become what you're
00:18:21.000 supposed to become man 100 dude 100 guys andy uh we got question number two uh andy i own a small
00:18:29.280 business and one thing that's been hard for me is accepting that nobody will ever care about it the
00:18:35.200 way i do i'll stay up stressed about problems thinking about payroll customers meanwhile some
00:18:41.160 of my employees are just there for a check and mentally clock out at five i don't even mean that
00:18:45.360 in like a disrespectful way i just didn't realize how lonely leadership could feel sometimes
00:18:50.520 how did you deal with that does it stop did it get better i really need some help because i know i
00:18:56.120 can't do this by myself first of all what do you expect okay that's an entitled position that
00:19:02.680 you're operating from there isn't you look man that is you are entitled you just don't know it
00:19:09.160 okay you expect everybody to care about your thing the way that you fucking care about your thing
00:19:14.640 that's not a real thing name me one person in a whole world that's like that people have their
00:19:21.780 own lives they have their own problems they have their own goals they have their own ambitions and
00:19:25.980 dreams your job if you really want people to help you with it is to create a big enough vision to
00:19:32.060 where their dreams can fit underneath that umbrella then you will figure out that they actually care
00:19:37.280 about that okay they don't care about your shit they care about your shit when they can build
00:19:43.060 their shit with your shit. And that's what you have to understand. Nobody's going to care like
00:19:49.600 you. Nobody's going to want to do the work you're wanting to do. And for you to expect that for
00:19:55.080 other people to trade all of their life to do something that is just a job that's not real.
00:20:01.860 And if you want them to step up and help, you have to be able to create it so their dreams can
00:20:06.180 be accomplished. And I'm going to be real, dude. That's the most rewarding thing of having big
00:20:10.580 goals and dreams and building big shit because when you could create a situation where other
00:20:14.680 people do have the opportunity to do that and then they do it it's incredibly rewarding all right
00:20:20.760 so if you want them to care like you care then you have to create opportunity by making the vision
00:20:27.860 so much bigger than just for yourself when you do that you will find the right people that will
00:20:33.740 step up and say fuck yeah i'm gonna do that fuck yeah that's gonna be awesome i'm gonna contribute
00:20:38.200 to that. Now, all of a sudden they're invested in it. Now they do care. They're still not going
00:20:42.860 to care like you care. Okay. Now to address the loneliness part, this is why it's important to be
00:20:49.360 surrounded by other people who are on the same path. You can't hang around people who are quote
00:20:55.320 unquote regular employees and you're that kind of person and then feel like they even understand you
00:21:01.380 at all. So you need to look at things where you could be, you know, plugged in with other people
00:21:07.460 with the same goals. This is why we have, and I have RTA syndicate. This is what operator standard
00:21:12.460 is. It's people who are driven. It's people who want to win. It's people who are leading. It's
00:21:17.200 people who are creating and becoming and doing big things. And when you surround yourself with
00:21:21.780 people like that, you're not lonely anymore. Now you actually have shit to talk about. Okay.
00:21:25.880 Because if you try to hang around your old friends, when you're on this new path,
00:21:29.880 you're going to go to dinner with them and you're going to be talking about all the things you're
00:21:33.100 doing and they're going to hear it as bragging, okay? People who are on the same path, they just
00:21:38.040 hear this as like, oh, that's my life too. That's this and this and this. So you've got to figure
00:21:42.780 out how to actively surround yourself with people who are on the same kind of path as you are and
00:21:47.740 you'll feel much less lonely. And like I said, that is why RTA Syndicate exists. That is why
00:21:53.720 the community aspect of the operator standard exists, okay? It's not part of the technology,
00:22:00.500 but it is the community part these people are driven they're hungry they want to win and when
00:22:04.840 you're around people like that you don't feel lonely yeah on the on the piece for the employee
00:22:09.120 side right like when you had how first question is how long were you in business before you realized
00:22:15.200 that lesson there 11 years 11 years yeah and then what what how did you find was the easiest way to
00:22:20.760 kind of implement like how did you realize what the goals were or like did you intend like go
00:22:24.760 figure out hey what are your goals guys cool let me make this bigger or what like how did that work
00:22:28.340 No, I had a revelation like I just I realized if I want this to be big, just like she said, I can't do it alone.
00:22:37.700 And and that means that I'm not going to be able to like a lot of people come in here, dude, and they're like, well, how do you find all these people?
00:22:45.160 It's like, dude, we don't. First of all, we don't find them.
00:22:47.960 OK, we hire for character, teach for skill. We hire for ambition and drive.
00:22:52.140 We teach for skill. We we hire for hunger. We teach for skill.
00:22:56.140 so it's a different process when you go to find people but secondly and more importantly
00:23:03.480 you have to understand that these people are choosing to bet on you and when people choose
00:23:13.520 to bet on you you have an obligation to them to create a path for them to accomplish what they
00:23:20.520 want to accomplish and it's hard for somebody with massive dreams to understand that not
00:23:27.200 everybody wants the same shit what you might want and see as success is generally not what
00:23:34.200 everybody else wants what they want it like you might want to build a 10 million or 100 million
00:23:40.380 dollar company these people want to make a great living they want to contribute to something that
00:23:45.460 matters they want to be recognized for their contributions and they want to have fun and be
00:23:49.960 able to then go do their other things you know whatever their life their life is you know and
00:23:54.260 that's another thing it's like dude when you pick entrepreneurship as a path you have to understand
00:23:59.340 it is not a job it is it you're you're you're it's an identity okay it becomes your life
00:24:05.380 all right entrepreneurship is a life style it's not a it's not a career it's a lifestyle it's
00:24:11.980 all-encompassing it bleeds into everything if you want to win and uh not everybody wants that
00:24:18.340 they just don't they see the stress they see that they see the the weight they see these things
00:24:23.820 they people don't want that they want to do well and they want to do well enough so they're not
00:24:29.520 struggling they can you know live a lifestyle they want maybe a vacation a year yeah or a couple or
00:24:35.160 whatever you know like but most you got to understand dude if you're an entrepreneur man
00:24:39.260 generally your dreams and goals for yourself are much bigger than everybody else and here's the
00:24:43.520 beautiful part if you could create a bigger big enough vision where they're all bought in and they
00:24:48.740 want to win your your goals happen too so everybody wins but you have to look at it like an obligation
00:24:55.120 okay like this is how I look at it if someone bets on me okay and and let's just use an example
00:25:03.420 someone comes and they say I want to be a part of something that Andy's doing
00:25:07.840 and they have a family and they have a wife
00:25:10.580 and they might have a kid.
00:25:13.040 I take that obligation to them very seriously.
00:25:15.880 I take that as, okay, well, they're betting on me,
00:25:18.860 so I have to perform.
00:25:20.340 I have to create that path.
00:25:22.200 And that's the best kind of pressure you can have
00:25:24.280 because once you start to have a little bit of money
00:25:27.080 and you get a little comfortable,
00:25:28.180 and this is where a lot of business owners operate, dude.
00:25:30.820 You know, you could tell when people come in here
00:25:33.240 and they say things like,
00:25:34.600 where do you find all these people?
00:25:35.680 They are expecting their people
00:25:37.820 To trade their life for a fucking check
00:25:39.780 And that isn't how it works
00:25:41.760 They're betting on you
00:25:44.120 For a career
00:25:45.920 And a lifestyle
00:25:47.500 That they do not have currently
00:25:49.780 And if you're someone who runs a company
00:25:52.060 And you have employees
00:25:52.960 And it's just about you
00:25:55.440 And your mentality is well I pay them to do a job
00:25:57.880 You're going to fucking limit out
00:25:59.540 You're going to get to a top
00:26:01.060 And it's not going to be very high
00:26:03.160 And the people around you are going to end up
00:26:05.300 fucking hating you. And that's how it's going to be. So the only real way that you can do it
00:26:10.940 is to expand your vision to such a level that the people that do work for you have a path to
00:26:18.520 create their dreams inside of that. And when you do that, that's when you get the buy-in.
00:26:24.100 That's when you get people that do care tremendously about the outcome. And while
00:26:29.140 they may not care as much as you, they're going to care a lot. And that's, what's going to help
00:26:32.820 drive everything forward and then as you win they're going to win too and once they understand
00:26:38.160 that then it solves your problem love it man guys Andy our third and final question guys any question
00:26:46.520 number three I think one of my biggest problems is that I hate being bad at things if I'm not
00:26:54.920 naturally good at something pretty quickly I get frustrated I lose interest which sucks because I
00:27:00.460 know every skill worth having takes time to develop but when you were building your business
00:27:05.240 or improving yourself early on how did you stay committed long enough to get through the phase
00:27:09.180 where you honestly just kind of suck that shit who the fuck do you think you are
00:27:14.520 do you think you're the only person in the history of earth that's going to step into something that
00:27:21.340 you've never done before and be great at it on the first day like where where where do you come from
00:27:27.320 like what what you must be really great at everything we're in the presence of greatness
00:27:31.980 yeah yeah like can you please teach me that skill okay because nothing that i've ever done in my
00:27:38.080 entire life have i been good at the day i started or the next month or even the next year and
00:27:45.320 sometimes the next 10 years who do you actually think that you are you know what you have you
00:27:52.200 have a fucking arrogance problem okay you are not better than anybody else you are not going to pick
00:27:57.940 up a guitar and be fucking angus young you're not going to step on a football field and be
00:28:04.860 fucking tom brady you're what the fuck are you talking about everybody's bad as shit when they
00:28:10.920 start who do you think you are dude oh man i'm serious like dude you are fucking arrogant and
00:28:18.420 you need to humble yourself and you need to realize that to be great at anything, you have
00:28:23.340 to be willing to fall on your fucking face over and over and over again. And guess what? You got
00:28:28.300 to be able to do it in front of the whole world. But here's the thing. They aren't willing to do
00:28:33.800 it. And that's why they point. And that's why they laugh. And that's why they giggle. But I
00:28:38.140 can promise you, if you keep showing up day after day after day, year after year after year,
00:28:43.740 eventually they're not going to laugh anymore they're not going to point the finger and fucking
00:28:48.620 say ha ha you're going to be saying ha ha ha you're going to be saying I told you bitch I told
00:28:54.800 you I was going to do this but that doesn't come on fucking day one and it doesn't come on year one
00:28:59.800 and it doesn't come on year three it comes after a total commitment to your craft and eventually
00:29:06.040 you become who it is you want to become and you you can you can go out there and you can handle
00:29:10.800 the things and you could do the thing and you could become great but like dude this idea and
00:29:17.080 I don't know where this comes from but this idea that you are going to be great at something the
00:29:22.200 first day that you try or the first month or the first year that comes from a place of arrogance
00:29:27.680 you have to understand dude you are no better and no smarter than anybody else I still know
00:29:34.820 that about myself do you know why I'm here seven days a week do you know why I'm a student of
00:29:39.960 but everything else. Do you know why I still read every day? Because I know I'm not that
00:29:44.880 fucking good. I know what I am. Okay. I know who I am. I know I'm not gifted. I know I'm not
00:29:51.700 talented. And for that reason, I am willing to do the shit that makes me appear that I'm really
00:29:57.780 great. But that greatness, which I am great at certain things, but that's only come after being
00:30:03.460 not great for fucking years dude so you need to fucking get humble that's what it comes down to
00:30:12.400 okay you're gonna be bad you're gonna suck you're gonna fall down you're probably gonna lose
00:30:18.000 girlfriends you're gonna lose boyfriends you're gonna fucking probably go broke you're probably
00:30:22.840 gonna have to move in a shittier house and drive a shittier car you're gonna make mistakes in public
00:30:28.720 and especially on social nowadays
00:30:30.520 and everybody's gonna be like,
00:30:31.320 ah, look at this fucking idiot.
00:30:33.240 All you gotta do is get the fuck back up,
00:30:36.240 figure out why you fell
00:30:37.480 and not do the shit again and keep going.
00:30:40.020 And then that adds to your skillset.
00:30:42.100 That adds to your knowledge base.
00:30:44.300 And then as you go,
00:30:45.320 you stop stumbling over these little things.
00:30:47.700 You start learning to anticipate
00:30:49.680 and how to operate
00:30:50.820 and how to do things in an effective fashion.
00:30:54.320 And then when you do things
00:30:55.660 in an effective fashion for long enough,
00:30:57.620 they become second nature when they become second nature greatness is right around the corner
00:31:02.060 so dude you got to realize there's nothing there's listen if you can't deal with that you can't win
00:31:10.660 you can't if you can't deal with getting laughed at or falling down or being bad at shit you're
00:31:16.800 not going to win bro you're not going to win and by the way wherever the fuck you came from
00:31:21.520 that you're great at everything i i would appreciate if you would come and teach me
00:31:25.760 how to do that because i still don't fucking know how to do it you know what i'm saying dude do you
00:31:32.240 think that the disconnect is man because like i look at some okay like brady you take brady right
00:31:36.320 people just see brady now they didn't see the fucking years of practice tom brady was like the
00:31:40.320 last dude drafted bro fucking nfl bro okay do you think that tom brady just said oh man you know i
00:31:49.040 guess I'm fucking the last guy drafted uh I fuck I guess I'm not good no he said fuck that I'm the
00:31:56.240 last guy drafted I'm gonna fucking show everybody and he I dude and this lasted through his whole
00:32:01.080 career he studied more he worked harder he showed up earlier he left later he was willing to do the
00:32:08.020 things that other people will not do or cannot do and he did those things long enough to eventually
00:32:13.380 the ball started rolling and when the ball started rolling he got better and better and better and
00:32:18.960 better to the point where he's winning a fucking Super Bowl like 45 fucking years old man okay
00:32:24.300 which is unheard of all right but this does not come on day one it doesn't come on month one
00:32:33.400 it doesn't come on year one we're talking about a decade we're to even get kind of good and the
00:32:42.160 timeline gets skewed I think a lot because of what you said right they see the end result but they
00:32:48.460 don't see the path and a lot of people don't share the path okay because a lot of people
00:32:52.880 when they do become great they love to appear as if it's them okay like a lot of people on
00:33:01.020 social media and even a lot of athletes and you know they like to they like to make it seem like
00:33:08.260 they're just superhuman person because it feeds their ego but the truth of the matter is dude
00:33:12.720 that's that's not true for any of them what the truth is is there was a time when everybody laughed
00:33:18.100 with them there was a time where they got embarrassed there was times where they fell
00:33:22.540 on their face tons of them and those are the things that ended up making them great so you
00:33:27.580 have to look at this completely different than what you're looking at it and instead of like
00:33:32.760 trying to avoid the mistakes be happy and be grateful when they happen because of what you're
00:33:38.440 learning and understand and keep in mind that that mistake that you made today that was embarrassing
00:33:43.720 as fuck you're not going to make that mistake again and other people are all right and at this
00:33:50.560 is why the gap between this is why it's so hard to close the gap on someone who's got momentum
00:33:56.960 in like business like for example i never had anything handed to me okay i never had anybody
00:34:06.120 invest in me i never nobody ever helped me we we didn't have the fucking social media which is
00:34:11.700 probably a blessing because I didn't get my mind filled with a bunch of bullshit.
00:34:16.480 I had to figure it the fuck out, okay, the hard way.
00:34:20.440 I had to try, fail, try, fail, try, fail for years.
00:34:27.660 And here's why that's such a good thing.
00:34:30.740 Because a lot of people in business that you will compete with may have a connection
00:34:36.520 or they may get an investment or they might have rich parents
00:34:39.780 or they might got parents to finance them and so they appear to grow very fast and they get in a
00:34:47.020 place where you know oh they're doing better than you but here's the thing just because they might
00:34:52.560 be doing better than you right now they didn't learn any of those lessons that you have to learn
00:34:57.940 when you start from nothing they didn't have to learn that so what happens is they make those
00:35:02.040 mistakes that you would make when you know relatively there's no real risk at making them
00:35:07.240 and they're making them with a big company which fucks their company that's why you see them go
00:35:11.380 away quicker quick dude quick so and you know and usually those same people get real cocky about how
00:35:17.240 great they are too okay because they went from zero to hero so fast but here's the thing somebody
00:35:23.800 like me who went who had to grind it the fuck dude i will fucking destroy those guys all the
00:35:31.440 lessons that they never learned those are just things i understand like i have to think about
00:35:35.860 right so it makes you far more competitive down the road you become a fucking savage nobody can
00:35:43.800 fuck with because the people like right now all the people on my level barely any of them started
00:35:49.780 from zero with no help or did it I actually don't know any okay I don't know any I don't know anybody
00:35:56.680 that owns a company or companies or business portfolio the size of mine that has done it
00:36:03.900 with no investment, no VC capital, no parents or no any of this shit.
00:36:09.700 And because of that, they cannot compete with me in the game.
00:36:16.340 You understand?
00:36:17.800 And dude, that compounds over time.
00:36:21.320 Those lessons compound.
00:36:23.140 So when you have a lot on the line and you don't know exactly what you're doing,
00:36:28.620 big mistakes happen.
00:36:30.540 When you've had to grind it out and you've invested
00:36:32.480 and you built all these skill sets coming from nothing,
00:36:35.380 now you are at such a huge competitive advantage
00:36:38.260 even if the playing field appears to be equal
00:36:41.420 from a sales standpoint or whatever, right?
00:36:44.540 You want to be the guy who had to grind it out.
00:36:46.700 I'm telling you right now.
00:36:47.740 It might take longer.
00:36:49.000 It's going to be more frustrating.
00:36:50.560 But in the long run and by the long run,
00:36:52.620 by the time you're 40, okay,
00:36:54.900 if you start when you're in your 20s,
00:36:56.480 you're going to be so fucking effective
00:36:58.620 in being an operator
00:36:59.920 that really other people can't fuck with you, man.
00:37:02.480 so and i'm not saying that shit to brag there's a lot i don't know but i know this
00:37:07.160 there's been a lot of guys who have come and gone who had a lot of investment a lot of money and at
00:37:12.500 some point in time they may have been ahead of us or think they're ahead of us or whatever they
00:37:16.740 think and then they go away okay and we're still here it's 27 years okay like nobody gets lucky
00:37:25.180 for 27 years yeah you know what i'm saying yeah yeah i want to hit some nuance too because you
00:37:30.260 You hit on this about people not showing the fuck-ups
00:37:34.140 or the failures, right?
00:37:35.040 Especially now on social media.
00:37:36.180 And I feel like there's a dichotomy there
00:37:37.900 because you could easily cross in.
00:37:39.340 Okay, well, maybe I do need to show some failures, right?
00:37:41.280 But you can easily cross over into that victim shit, right?
00:37:44.560 What's the line there?
00:37:45.940 Tell the story.
00:37:47.200 Tell how you overcome it.
00:37:48.620 Show where you are now.
00:37:49.640 And just keep moving.
00:37:50.280 Yeah, it's a formula.
00:37:52.300 It's actually this.
00:37:53.420 Show where you are now.
00:37:55.680 Tell the story of how you got there.
00:37:57.760 Show where you started, okay?
00:37:59.860 that's how you get people to connect all the shit yeah i love it dude yeah that's easy bro
00:38:04.400 that was three dawg yeah that's three that little short one today yeah hey 38 yeah all right guys
00:38:11.780 we will see you tomorrow on cti don't be a hoe share the show
00:38:15.440 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions
00:38:21.720 in the cold bad bitch booted slow got her on bank road can't fold doesn't know
00:38:27.500 Hint, shot, case, cloak, cloak.