240. Q&AF： Handling Decisions In Business, Managing Your Stress & Dealing With Disrespectful Customers
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Summary
In this episode of The Realist, DJ and Andy answer your questions about how to get better in your business and life. Who makes the decisions in your company? How do you determine who makes them? And how do you delegate those decisions to your other leaders?
Transcript
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What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realist, say goodbye to
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the lies, the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.
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Guys, today we have Q and AF. This is where you bring the Qs and I bring the AFs. As always,
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I've got my co-host with me, Mr. DJ, DJ. Dr. Diversity. Dr. Diversity, that's right. Just
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for like eight more days. What's that mean? What's an eight more days? Yeah. I don't know.
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March 1st. Oh, fuck. Bro, you know, I don't even know what day it is. All the days are the same to
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me. Yeah, they do blend in for me, man. Yeah. All right. So we got Q and A. This is how this
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works. You submit the questions. I give you the answers. You could submit your questions where
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email your questions in guys to ask Andy and Andy for seller.com. Now these could be questions about
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anything. I like to answer the questions about how to get fucking better. Okay. For those of you that
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don't know, I had the number one podcast and business podcast history. We were number one in iTunes for
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19 months uninterrupted, which is an iTunes record. All right. And I transferred the show over to real
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AF to talk about social issues and freedom because if we don't have it, we can't make any fucking money
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and do any cool baller shit. So I try to do the CTIs to bring awareness over there, make that a little
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funny. So it's actually palatable. And then I try to do the Q and A S for you motherfuckers to get
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better. All right. They're both extremely important right now. Today, we're going to get better.
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I hope. I hope the questions are about that. Yeah. Yeah. No, we got some good ones for you,
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bro. All right. Good. People still out there trying to get better. Yeah. People are still
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trying to get better, man. Okay. Let's get this going. Uh, there is a fee. There is a fee. The fee
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is very simple. If you learn something, if it made you think, if it made you laugh, if it gave you a new
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perspective, if it taught you, uh, something that you think is important to your success, which I promise
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you, it will, I ask very humbly, please share the show. Okay. I don't feel your ears full of ads,
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uh, and, and talk about bullshit for, I mean, maybe I do talk about bullshit, but, uh, I try to keep
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the show direct, uh, bite-sized consumable. Let's get better stuff. Okay. So, um, yeah, let's start
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share the show. Andy question number one for you. So when it comes to making decisions in your
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business, right. And how these decisions should be made and who makes them, how do you determine
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who makes them? Like if, if there, if it's a decision that you should be making, or if you
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delegate that off to your other leaders inside your company, how do you handle that?
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That's a process. Okay. That's a process that is, uh, developed through the blood, sweat,
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and tears of, uh, learning lessons throughout, throughout, you know, the process of running
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a company. So, you know, I, everybody in my companies starts out at the beginning for the
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most part, unless you have some special skill like animation or, uh, programming or coding
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or audio production, you're going to start out in this retail stores or packing boxes in
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the back. That's just the way it is. Okay. Once you move through and you move up because
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of the nature of how we promote from within, for the most part, these people are learning the ins
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and outs of our company. Okay. And at various levels. Yes. And it's important because you can't
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have someone making decisions at the top that doesn't understand what's happening out in the
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warehouse or what's happening in service or what's happening, uh, you know, in any of the
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other areas, because that's how you end up with shit that doesn't work. Right. So they have to have
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a comprehensive understanding of what our mission is. And that honestly starts with the people who
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touch the product to communicate with the customers, uh, because that's what the customer
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perception is of your company. Right. Sure. This is why I always say the people who pack your boxes
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are the most important fucking people in your company. Um, and that's, that's no different here.
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So first of all, that has to be said because you have to understand that for people to even get in a
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position in my companies to make decisions, they have to go through this right now. A lot of
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business owners struggle with relinquishing decision-making, uh, ability or delegating
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because they feel like everybody's going to make a mistake. Well, guess what they are. They're going to
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fuck up all your shit over and over and over again. You, what you have to do is change your perspective
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on that, right. As a leader, you have to understand that part of you getting where you are,
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was you making mistakes. What if you made a mistake, you like the rookiest mistake you ever
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made. And then you just got someone came around and say, Hey, you're done with this business.
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You gotta go do something else. You understand what I'm saying? You would have never got where
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you are. And so you have to view your employees the same way. And you have to see them as, uh,
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people who are progressing, who are learning, who are operating in good faith and making mistakes.
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Now something's malicious or they steal or something that's different. All right. But I'm talking
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about mistakes. Mistakes are going to happen. And the way to look at these mistakes as they happen
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is it's an investment in their education in your company, right? If someone messes up something and
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it costs you 10 grand, instead of looking at it like, Oh shit, I lost 10 grand. You should look at
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it like, okay, that lesson cost me 10 grand and make sure that the person who made the mistake
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understands very clearly that other places you would have gotten fired for that. But here's what I'm
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going to do. We're going to have a conversation. I'm going to make sure that you know exactly why
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you fucked up exactly why you shouldn't do that. And I'm going to take the time to educate you and
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see, here's why this is the better long-term play than just firing people when they get mistakes,
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make mistakes because they're going to improve and they're going to get better. And every time they
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make one of these little mistakes in the big scheme of things, uh, that may seem big now,
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right? They are improving their skillset. They are getting better. They are, they are becoming
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a better part of your team. So you have to understand that mistakes are an investment in
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their education. As long as you've communicated what to do next time. And you trust that they're
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not going to make that same mistake again. Right. And then what I do is I make the mistake
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known to the whole company. No, for real. Okay. And it's embarrassing. It embarrasses people,
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but you know what? I don't fucking care because if everybody can learn from this one mistake,
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we're much better off as a company. All right. So that's the way you do it.
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I don't, eventually you get to a point where, you know, that people can make decisions and you trust
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them. My key guys, I know I can say, Hey, go do this. And they're going to probably have 15
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questions that need to be answered to get that done. And I know they're capable of answering them
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because they've paid that price in the investment in their mistakes. Uh, and we've worked together
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to overcome that. Does that make sense? That makes perfect sense. So that's why that's the
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difference between having a culture and a company where everybody's built in, uh, and bought in
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versus, uh, hiring the new person that's going to come in and make the same fucking mistake the old
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guy made. And by the way, the new, the old guy you fired had two years of experience that the new
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guy doesn't. Right. What sense does that make? It doesn't. So I love that. It's like, give,
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give, give them the same leniency you give yourself. You have to. Yeah. I love that. It's an
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investment in your business. And if you don't do that and you walk around with your dick hanging
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out thinking you're some big, tough boss, you're going to suck. You're going to get stopped by the
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people who understand what I just said, because all of their team is able to make decisions.
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The biggest question I get in here when people walk through this building is how, how'd you find
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all these people? Fuck motherfucker. Are you an idiot? I didn't find these people. We fucking built
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these people. Okay. There's a fucking code of fucking, uh, conduct here. There's a code of standards
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and these people don't even get to the, they don't even get in the door unless they live that
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shit. Most people couldn't work here. Most of the CEOs that I've met in business legitimately,
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legitimately could not work for me. They could not work for me. Okay. So just think about that.
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That's me holding a high standard and my team buying into that standard and them holding that
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standard over years and years and years and years and years. You don't just go fucking find people like
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this because they don't fucking exist. We built each other together. Andy, question number two
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for you. Okay. And I got some back, uh, a little backstory on this, but the question is simply,
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Andy, how do you manage and handle stress? Right? So some people, some of these gurus out here,
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yeah, no shit. But some people push this shit off. It's like, Oh, you know, the gurus say live a
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stress, stress-free life. Right. And everybody knows, you know, you have the saying zero compromise.
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Do you also have a saying that says zero fucks given? Like how, how do you handle that stress?
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Well, I think, I think zero fucks given is an overstated thing. First of all, the motherfuckers
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that say that shit, let's just be fucking real. They're the ones that give the fucks most.
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Fuck you. And then the next 17 slides are about, man, nobody texts me back or nobody did this or
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that or this or this or this, bro. You're telling on yourself the people who say that shit are the,
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you know, who doesn't give a fuck? People that don't explain themselves. All right. We just saw
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Gary Vee post a new fucking photo yesterday with his new girlfriend and he got divorced.
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Okay. People get divorced every fucking day. Right. And all these fucking people who don't
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know shit about Gary Vee, never met him, never talked to him, never did anything for him besides
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maybe buy a book. Okay. Or calling them all these names. And, and, and I'm just going to go off on a
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tangent. Okay. While, while I got your attention, you motherfuckers have no right to other people's
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personal lives on the internet, just because you follow them. Like I'm at, I'm reading all these
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comments and they're like, explain yourself, explain, explain yourself to who, who the fuck
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are you? Right. And dude, you people on the internet, you've, you've gotten entitled to other people's
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entire lives. You know what, you know what you're going to do? You're going to create a scenario where
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none of those motherfuckers give you shit. Gary's get look, dude, we all know that I don't agree
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with everything fucking Gary says, but he is my friend. And I'm going to tell you this. I'm happy
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for him. Yeah. Okay. He doesn't need to explain himself, especially not to you motherfuckers on
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the internet. Oh, I'm so disappointed. Well, fuck you then. That's real, man. Yeah. I mean, that's,
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that's, I don't give a fuck. That's the false perception. Okay. So you want to look at who,
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who actually gives a fuck people that don't explore or who actually don't give a fuck people who
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Fuck you. This is my life. I'm going to do what I want. And if you don't like it,
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you can eat shit. How about that? So let's get that real clear. I'm sick of these people
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on fucking internet going at people's personal lives. Oh, I'm so disappointed in you. I don't
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fucking care. Who the fuck are you? You're sitting at home fucking being a fat fuck, watching a view
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on TV. You ain't contributing shit. You're playing call of duty nine hours a day. Fuck you. Like,
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I don't care as real, you know? So let's get that straight. The people who say,
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I don't give a fuck and talk about, they give a lot of fucks. The people who just live their
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lives and don't explain shit, they actually don't give a fuck. So kudos to Gary and fuck you guys
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criticizing him. You don't know what's going on in his personal life. You don't know what,
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what, you don't know what it takes to build a company like he's built. Motherfucker,
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I know what that takes. That's a very difficult thing. Okay. And it's hard on everybody around
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you. And sometimes shit happens. That's the way it is. I'm fucking tired of people judging
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everybody for their fucking personal lives. Like they owe you more. This motherfucker gave
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you fucking 15 years of fucking content to build milk. By the way, I'm a huge fucking benefiter of
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that. And I'll always say that one of the best books I ever read was Gary V's crush it. 2010 made
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me fucking hundreds of millions of dollars. All right. So I'm forever indebted to Gary for the,
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for the information that he's put out. And you motherfuckers are mad because he got a girlfriend
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and got divorced. People get to 70% of motherfuckers get divorced. Fucking idiots,
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dude. I'm just sick of the attitude. I love it. I love it. You know, Oh, I'm so disappointed.
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Oh my God. Fuck you. Yeah. All right. So anyway, what was the question? So how do you handle
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stress? How do you manage it? Uh, you have a zero fuck. Well, I have this podcast that come on every
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day. Uh, look, dude, my stress is managed. Uh, you know, first of all, let me, let me be real.
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Okay. I don't walk around going on rants all day. Like maybe sometimes I do, but I'm a pretty chill
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dude. Okay. So like, I understand how to manage stress for the most part. Um, but I'm not a fucking
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perfect stress is something that you acclimate to, right? It's like a fucking cold pool. Like when you
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first get in the pool and it's cold, it's like, fuck, it's cold. And then like, you're just like,
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fuck it. I'm just getting all the way in up to my titties. Right. And like, dude, you get in and
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the fucking two minutes later, it's like normal, right? Okay. That's what the fuck it's like. So
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when you first start feeling any real stress, it, it, it, it feels really bad. When you start to
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understand that everything is going to be fucked up every fucking day, no matter what, no matter how hard
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you try and you start to understand that it becomes easier to deal with because you don't get as
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emotionally attached to the fucking outcomes. You're just like, ah, okay. Like I walk into
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Sal's office. I'm like, all right, well, what do you need for me today? Yeah. And he's like, well,
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I got this and this and this. And I'm like, okay, a two, three, I give him the fucking answers.
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And then I walk into Jason's office and I say, what bullshit you got motherfucker. And he says,
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I got this and this and this. And I'm like, okay, dude, dude, dude. And it's done. And I walked the
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fuck out. I go lift weights. I talk shit on this microphone. And I, I, I'm very disciplined in my
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life. I control my food. I control my training. I control, uh, all the things I can control,
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which help press the stress down. Right. When you're, the reason stress really hurts people
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is because they don't understand that the stress, a lot of stress comes from anxiety, which feels,
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uh, which is generally created by being out of control and all kinds of other areas in your life.
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So when you can control what you can control, right, you can control what water you drink. You can
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control what information you read. You can control what food you eat. You can control your activity.
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When you could, you could control who the fuck you interact with. When you start to really get
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disciplined and take control of this. And this is one of the reasons 75 heart is such a fucking huge
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deal because it forces you to do all those things, including surrounding yourself with the right people,
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because by default you become so fucking busy. You can only fucking socialize with people who are
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there to support you. All right. And anybody who's actually done the program the right way,
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that's one of the things that they understand that they learn to tell people to fuck off because
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they have other priorities. And once you learn to tell people to fuck off and you don't have any
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anxiety about that, your stress goes way to fuck down. Okay. So, you know, that's how I do it.
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And a lot of people are like, Oh, fucking meditate. And look, dude, I'm all about it. Like I'm,
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I'm totally connected to the fucking source. I understand power of the universe and God and
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all of these things. I, I, I wouldn't be here without it, but there has to be action and
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discipline combined with those things for it to truly work. A lot of people sit around with
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the fucking incense and you know, they're, they're fucking cards or whatever the fuck
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I can make these fucking noises and they don't do nothing else. And that ain't going to work for
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you, bro. It ain't going to work. It just because you grew dreadlocks, put petroleum in your
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fucking hair doesn't mean shit. Okay. You got to do the fucking other work with it. And the other
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work is uncomfortable and it's hard and it takes time to get used to. But once you start to get
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used to it and then combine it with that, you have a situation where, where you're in control of your
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stress. And the reason you're in control of your stress is because you're in control of almost every
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area of your life that could possibly be controlled. When you control the shit that you can actually
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control in a real way, the stress just becomes something that is, you know, you're just like,
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okay. You know, it's not these like world ending crises. You know what I'm saying?
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That's fucking awesome. And shout out to Gary. Yeah. Fuck dude. No, for real, dude. Like why are
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people busting his balls? Oh, he didn't ever showcase his family. It's not like he built his
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brand around, you know, like other people, family guy. It's not like these, dude, that's what I'm
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saying. Like I've known Gary since 2000 fucking 13. You know, we've had, we've had a fucking thousand
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conversations. The family thing is not part of what Gary Vee is. That's his, that's his
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life. He keeps that private. Yes, bro. And it's, I get it too. This is what irritates
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the fuck out of me. People were like, how come you and Emily don't post each other and
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don't this and that. You know what motherfucker? Maybe some people don't want y'all you stupid
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fucks intertwined into their shit. You ever think about that? Yeah. Yeah. That's real.
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Fuck. People forget the normal too, because you see the perfect relationship people out there
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and then, you know, two years later. Those are the motherfuckers that you get mad at, right? Like
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there's a lot of people and you guys know who I'm talking about who have been out there and they're
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preaching about how great they are in relationships and they've sold relationship guides and this,
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this, this, this, this, this. Three years later. Yeah. And then all this shit comes out about them,
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right? Like, dude, that's just a, that's a time bomb waiting to blow the fuck up because every
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relationship ever, whether it be a friendship, romantic relationship, this, that, the other is going to
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have problems, right? There's going to be issues to happen. And, and, and, and that's without the
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whole entire world digging into it. So I'm honestly, bro, like I get why people leave the internet or why
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other wealthy and successful people don't do things. And I certainly know why more leaders aren't stepping
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up to help fix this country because you motherfuckers want to pick them apart for every fucking thing that
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they do. And it doesn't matter to you that they could go into the fucking government and create gas
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that's affordable and housing that's affordable and more money in your motherfucking pocket.
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You want to attack someone for their fucking personal, something they did 20 years ago.
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Fuck you. Like I'm dude, I am done with these people.
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No, it's real, man. I don't, you don't, I don't answer to you motherfuckers.
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Understand that. I don't answer to you. Gary don't answer to you.
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Any of these other people that you don't know on a personal level, they don't answer to you fucks.
00:18:25.120
Guys, our third and final question for Andy, Andy, how much, if any disrespect do you tolerate
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from customers or clients? So the backstory is this person has a long time client that pays very,
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very well to them, but they're super condescending. They take advantage of his time and they disregard
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a lot of his professional opinions, but they pay, pay, pay good money. How much of any disrespect
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do you handle from your customers? That's a personal tolerance question. You know,
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like from what do you think I put up with? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
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Like I am very grateful. You are what you tolerate. Listen, I am very grateful for the
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customers that we have. These, my customers and all of my businesses outside of the tequila and the
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weed business, um, they're coming to greatly improve their lives. So I'm very respectful of them
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and they are respectful in return. And the reason I have respect for them is because they have
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committed to the process of understanding that they are at fault for what the fuck they created
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and they are taking the steps to get better. I fucking love people like that. Okay. And so when
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people like that get pissed off, I care a lot about it. All right. But it ain't ever those people
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that get pissed off. It's always the motherfuckers that don't want to do shit. They want you to do
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everything for them. And then they want to fucking complain or leverage you on the internet.
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This goes back to my last question, right? Like, dude, fuck you for real. You know what
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I'm saying? Like you have to understand that there is a time and place to fire your customers
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sometimes. Okay. And for this, it depends on where you are in business too. And it's just
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reality and people don't like this, but if that's your only customer, you better fucking
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figure out fucking, you better stick with them. Yeah. You better do what you got to do.
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But the truth is, if you had 10 more like them, how much would you put up with him?
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So the focus. So if I was this person where I would focus on is building out my company in
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this other direction and find 10 more great playing customers. And then, and then eventually
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be able to look at this guy and be like, Hey bro, I don't have any room for you.
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Isn't that better? Isn't that a better disrespect than them fucking being a dick to you?
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Then think what that guy's going to do, you know, cause that guy's going to flip the fuck
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out. What do you mean? You don't have a respect? Not bro. I don't have place for you no more.
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Why? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, yeah, but you also blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:50.960
And these other motherfuckers don't see what I'm saying. So yes, there's a time and place to fire
00:20:58.260
your customers, especially in today's age where they try to fucking leverage you and hold you over
00:21:02.060
a barrel and get you to explain yourself. And you know, it's not, it's no longer a business.
00:21:05.880
It's, it's, do I agree with every decision that the fucking leadership of the business makes?
00:21:10.800
Like that's never been a way that business has been done in the entire fucking commerce of the
00:21:15.400
world, the history of fucking mankind, but that's how it is right now. So you have to be,
00:21:19.880
you have to make a decision. Do you want to bend over and fucking take whatever everybody gives
00:21:25.700
you? Or do you just want to say, Hey, you know what? I offer a great product, great service,
00:21:29.320
this, this, this. And if you could go do better, go do better.
00:21:33.020
And that's a benefit of being the best in your space. If you're the best in your space,
00:21:36.500
people can't go out and fucking find better shit. So you don't, they can't leverage you.
00:21:42.840
You see what I'm saying? Right. Right. So like, dude, if I was this person,
00:21:46.100
here's how I would truly handle it. Now I know I just kind of talked a lot of shit,
00:21:49.480
but how I would actually handle it, like, like real Andy, I'd call the person and I'd say, Hey,
00:21:54.240
you got time to have a meeting and have a meeting. And I'd be like, Hey, look, dude,
00:21:57.880
I really appreciate your business like a lot. And before we get in this conversation,
00:22:02.000
I want you to know that I fucking really, really appreciate it. It helps speed my family.
00:22:06.620
It helps everything and everything and everything. But here's the problem I have with it. Okay.
00:22:11.560
You treat me like shit. You'd do this, you do that, you do this. And here's the thing.
00:22:16.680
I would actually want to do a much better job for you if you didn't do those things
00:22:20.020
and have a real conversation, man to man or man to woman, whatever it is.
00:22:24.400
Right. And fucking tell the truth. Lay it out. Yeah. Bro. If you don't tell the truth,
00:22:34.400
or maybe that's why they're acting like that because you're not having that conversation.
00:22:37.020
Well, that's exactly right. People only bully people when they think they're going to take
00:22:40.340
it. Once, once when, when the bullies on, this is the same thing going on in the world right now.
00:22:45.080
Okay. When the bully fucking, when, when the fucking little kid, the victim gets finally fed up and
00:22:50.080
knocks the bullies fucking teeth out. Guess what happens? The bully shows up the next day. He's a
00:22:54.320
lot nicer. Yeah. Okay. And I've learned that firsthand in my whole entire life. Like some of these
00:23:00.360
politicians running our country need to be punched in the motherfucking face or fact, I'm a hire Jake Paul.
00:23:07.020
Jake Paul versus Joe Biden. Clearly he could punch harder than anybody.
00:23:13.300
But look, dude, you know, the truth is like, handle it the right way. You know, take the high
00:23:20.560
road, dude. Try the high road first. Hey man, could I have a real conversation with you? You know,
00:23:25.160
you might end up finding out that that person is really fucking cool and actually respects the shit
00:23:30.080
out of you for standing up to him. See what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. It could go a whole nother way.
00:23:35.260
Yeah. That's real. Well, guys, Andy, that is three. That's it. Go pay the fee. Yes, sir.
00:23:41.540
Went from sleeping on the floor. Now my jewelry box froze. Fuck a pole. Fuck a stove. Counted millions
00:23:47.880
in the cold. Bad bitch. Booty swole. Got her on bankroll. Can't fold. Doesn't know. Headshot case
00:24:00.640
Do you know them, bring youelf with whatever you have in here?