REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 12, 2020


46. Hot AF Is Hot AF


Episode Stats

Length

25 minutes

Words per Minute

167.78967

Word Count

4,225

Sentence Count

326

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary

Andy talks about the recent riots in St. Louis and how we need to stop reacting to them and start asking what the fuck is going on and why are we so damn angry about it. We have to stop chasing the quick fix, we have to start asking the hard questions.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, what's up? It's Andy. Hey man. Uh, I'm going to save you guys the cool intro that I
00:00:05.360 normally do. And I'll be honest, like I'm not feeling it right now. You know, um, I'm not
00:00:10.360 feeling like we need some fancy production or, or any of that shit. You know, um, this shit is
00:00:16.340 weighing heavy on my heart. This whole situation, it's stressing me out. It feels like I'm, I'm
00:00:21.020 immersed, uh, and standing under a massive weight and it's affected me, man. Um, and so
00:00:31.240 I just want to talk with you guys, you know, uh, and I want to start with a story. Uh, DJ
00:00:38.500 and I went downtown St. Louis, uh, Saturday. It was hot, like real hot. And we went down
00:00:46.640 to see a Lee's pond and jewelry, which is where a captain David dorm was, was murdered
00:00:50.720 during the riots here in St. Louis. It was a fucking terrible situation, man. Who's given
00:00:55.280 his, uh, his entire life to bettering his own community only to be murdered by the people
00:01:01.740 he was trying to help. Um, that makes me sick, man. It hurts. It hurts. And, uh, all of these
00:01:12.100 injuries and these, these murders and these deaths that are happening through all this civil
00:01:15.820 unrest hurts. And it hurts to know that we've been set up by people that aren't us. They're
00:01:25.100 not us. They're not Americans, man. They might actually quote unquote technically be Americans,
00:01:30.220 but they don't stand for what America stands for. They're out there manipulating us. They're
00:01:36.260 out there creating, you know, division on purpose. Um, the media, a lot of elected politicians,
00:01:43.660 not all of them and not all the media either, but a lot of them, they're getting us to fight.
00:01:50.740 They're getting us angry. They're hitting us in the places that they know are going to cause the
00:01:56.240 biggest reaction. And we have to stop reacting and we have to start asking what the fuck is going on.
00:02:04.800 Um, and as we were standing there looking at the spot where this man bled to death after he was shot,
00:02:12.780 blood still on the street,
00:02:15.300 there's a number of us standing there. And one of the guys goes,
00:02:20.140 it's hot. Another guy goes, man, what the fuck you talking about? I'm from the South.
00:02:27.660 This ain't shit. It's hot in the South. This is not hot while we're standing there looking at,
00:02:32.780 at where somebody was killed. And it got me thinking that conversation is indicative of
00:02:38.480 the problem that we're having. Isn't it? Isn't the problem that we have really with our own egos?
00:02:44.500 Isn't the problem that we have really with our want to compete for who's been through more pain,
00:02:51.300 more suffering, more injustice, more hardship. Think about it. Think how many times you say
00:02:58.580 something and I'm not just bringing this to this issue. This is, this applies to our culture as a
00:03:04.000 whole in America. Think about all the times you've said something and you've had someone immediately
00:03:08.140 snap back and say, that ain't right. You don't even know what the fuck you're talking about.
00:03:12.840 That's not how we communicate guys. That's not how problems get solved. And while we stand here
00:03:18.420 screaming at the top of our lungs on the internet, people are dying. We're losing our freedoms.
00:03:25.240 There's injustice happening all over the world at way more of a rate than what's happening before.
00:03:34.060 We just had our small business community almost wiped out. We just had marriages crumble. We had
00:03:44.100 people commit suicide. We have people in clinical depression. We have relationship suffering. We
00:03:49.680 have family suffering. And while everybody's yelling and screaming at the top of their lungs about every
00:03:55.360 fucking thing, what are we doing? We're competing for who knows more, for who has all the answers,
00:04:03.800 for who's been through more shit. But let me ask you something. Do any of you really have all the
00:04:10.600 fucking answers? Because I fucking don't. Take away the politics. I don't give a fuck. Okay. I had a guy
00:04:18.540 call me here at company today wanting to know if I donated money to, or he said he knows I donated
00:04:24.600 money to a certain campaign in 2016. And if I'm donating money again, he's never going to shop with
00:04:30.800 me. Well, first off who I give money to isn't any of your fucking business. Second of all, I haven't
00:04:38.620 donated any money politically ever in my life for a reason. That's not what I support. I support
00:04:45.980 independent thinking. I support critical thinking. I support what's right. I support America. I don't
00:04:53.240 support a person. I don't support a party. And a lot of you motherfuckers out there that listen to me
00:04:58.200 don't understand that and can't understand that. And because I say one or two things that you don't
00:05:02.860 like, you automatically throw me in with one or the other group. I'm in either group. I'm an
00:05:08.900 independent, free thinking American. I'm loyal to the constitution and the values that America was
00:05:15.400 brought up on. That all people were created equal. That everybody has the rights to equal opportunities.
00:05:24.220 Those are things I believe in. And I live with those things in my heart and in my actions over the
00:05:29.720 course of my life. And if you really took a minute to look, you would see that my mouth and my actions
00:05:37.700 line up, which is a lot more than what most people can say right now, to be completely honest. So
00:05:42.400 when you hear me talk about these things, try to forget that you think I'm for Donald Trump or try to
00:05:50.240 forget that you think I'm not enough for Donald Trump or try to forget that I'm not against. Well,
00:05:57.140 I am now against the democratic party because it appears to be fucking evil as shit. But if they
00:06:04.300 were to reform their party, I'm not against the principles they're supposed to stand for.
00:06:08.260 And it takes critical thinking to listen to that and understand that for real.
00:06:12.880 And there's a lot of judgment going on and there's a lot of side picking going on. And there's a lot of
00:06:17.840 attacks going on in the world. Not me. I'm talking about in the world and everybody.
00:06:23.220 And we have an obligation to be better humans than what we're being. That's just the truth.
00:06:31.680 If we want to change things, they're going to have to start with ourselves. And one of the things that
00:06:35.900 we can all start to get better on is this. Stop trying to compete for who's the bigger fucking
00:06:40.840 victim in every situation. And I'm not talking about black or white or anything that has to do.
00:06:46.500 I'm talking about in general. We see this everywhere we go. We see this. Dude, this isn't a new thing
00:06:52.740 that just happened because of this issue on the internet. This is the culture of people who stare
00:06:57.860 at their phones all day and who never learn the ability to have a real conversation or to critically
00:07:03.320 think. And I have news for all of you until we could sit across the table until we can sit across
00:07:09.340 and look at each other and tell the fucking truth without having an emotional response and hear the
00:07:16.120 other person and hear the other side and get to a point where we can separate our own perspectives
00:07:23.040 from the actual facts of the matter. We're not going to solve this problem that's going on in our
00:07:28.600 society right now. We're not going to solve this problem that is going on with the racial issues.
00:07:35.380 We're not going to solve this problem that we have going on with our political structure going on.
00:07:41.160 Okay. We're not going to be able to solve any of this shit. We just got lied to for the last
00:07:47.200 fucking who knows how many months about a virus that is now by their own admission,
00:07:54.840 not able to spread in any way that they told us to, but yet they ruined businesses. They ruined lives.
00:08:02.740 They killed people. They prevented people from seeing their loved ones. I was talking to my
00:08:08.500 friend who lost his father from COVID. He, his exact words were, bro, I can't, I feel like I delivered
00:08:15.680 him at, at, at, at Auschwitz and they just killed him. I didn't get to see him. I didn't get to visit
00:08:21.940 with him. They just killed him. But yet when the narrative changes, it's okay to go to a huge protest.
00:08:29.560 It's okay to go to a funeral. And I'm not, that is not devaluing the importance of protesting or the
00:08:36.960 importance of that man's funeral. I'm talking about the hypocritical nature of which the governing bodies
00:08:42.240 that we elect fucking play us. And dude, if we want to really solve the problem, the real problem
00:08:49.220 here is that we're getting our rights taken and we're getting our, our freedoms taken. And we're
00:08:55.980 getting manipulated by people that really have no fucking business and don't give a shit about any
00:09:01.260 one of us. That's the fact. And if you stop and think about it for a second and you think about
00:09:07.060 how absurd it is, regardless of where you fall, regardless of where it is, your beliefs fall,
00:09:12.980 whether you believe COVID was the fucking plague of the universe or whether you don't,
00:09:18.720 there's evidence that supports that it wasn't strong evidence, evidence from the bodies that
00:09:25.860 made us panic, that caused the depression that caused people to commit suicide that caused people
00:09:32.400 to fucking freak the fuck out, lose their marriages, lose their jobs, close businesses.
00:09:38.640 And they told us that as if it were fact and it wasn't. Why? I'm talking about all of these things
00:09:49.300 and we can argue all we want about these issues between our people. All of our people is the real
00:09:58.720 issues with racism in this country. You're fucking right. There is, but the problem is, is that they
00:10:05.640 come from the motherfuckers that we elect and they create scenarios where we're constantly fighting
00:10:10.800 each other and we're constantly bickering and we're constantly against each other. And everybody does
00:10:15.420 it because they're trying to win because all of you motherfuckers are so concerned about what side
00:10:20.100 you want to be on politically that we can't have a motherfucking conversation. Instead, we compete over
00:10:26.880 who experienced the hotter weather. And that's indicative of the problem at hand.
00:10:35.640 Pain is fucking pain. Hardship is hardship. My hard day is not harder than your hard day.
00:10:44.860 They're both fucking hard. And if we want to compete and tit for tat over who had this harder and who
00:10:50.900 had that harder and who had this, we're never going to solve this issue. We'll never move forward.
00:10:55.740 We'll be constantly in a cycle over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
00:11:00.120 And none of us regular people who want to live a free, happy, and productive life are going to
00:11:07.340 benefit from it. Now, I don't have all the answers and I don't expect you to listen to me for all the
00:11:12.600 answers, but I do encourage you to take a minute and self-evaluate. Are you having legitimate
00:11:19.720 conversations or are you just spouting emotional frustrations? And guess what? It's okay to spout
00:11:25.400 emotional frustrations, but you should also understand that to come to a productive solution,
00:11:30.720 we have to remove that situation. I'm tired of the fighting. I'm tired of the bickering.
00:11:38.160 I'm tired of the accusations from all sides towards everybody. If you want to know whose fucking fault
00:11:44.600 this is, look in the motherfucking mirror. And that goes for everybody here because the truth of changing
00:11:50.040 shit, the truth of becoming a better society, a better world, a more equal world where everybody
00:11:57.840 can thrive has to start with us looking in the mirror and being that example every motherfucking
00:12:04.600 day. It doesn't start with a law. It doesn't start with electing someone. It doesn't start with a new
00:12:11.380 party. It doesn't start with burning the police down. It doesn't start with any of that shit.
00:12:16.160 It starts with looking in the mirror and saying, I'm going to live to the standard that I expect
00:12:22.160 everyone else to live to. And from what I can see, not many people think that's a priority
00:12:27.920 because what I see is a lot of people online criticizing people for having a fucking thought
00:12:34.520 that doesn't agree with them to the point where we're creating lynch mobs to attack each other and
00:12:41.360 ruin each other. There's people getting fired right now because they liked a certain tweet or they
00:12:48.000 had an opinion on a matter. When we get to a point where we cannot have opinions, when we get to a point
00:12:54.020 where we can't express thoughts, who is going to do the thinking for us? It ain't us. And that's what
00:13:02.160 they want. So my plea here, my ask is for all of you, regardless of where you come from, regardless of
00:13:11.600 who you are, regardless of the color of your skin, regardless of what your background is, regardless
00:13:18.920 of how much money you make, regardless of your, of your gender or your sexual preference, regardless
00:13:24.840 of any motherfucking difference that we have as American people, stop and ask yourself,
00:13:32.360 am I the example of what's right? Am I the example of how I want my kids to be treated? Am I the
00:13:42.620 example of how I want my grandma to be treated? Am I living that? Or am I just another fake
00:13:51.080 motherfucker throwing stones at everybody else to hide the fact that I'm not doing a goddamn thing
00:13:57.180 to help the situation? That's real. That's real talk. That's being fucking genuine or authentic or
00:14:07.780 whatever you guys want. Savage, real savagery is looking in the mirror and say, motherfucker,
00:14:13.820 you're fucking wrong and you got to fix shit. You all think you're quippy and witty and you know,
00:14:20.220 you're going to fucking make someone look stupid online. What's that do? That drives the division
00:14:26.860 that drives people further away from where you want to be. When you go up to someone and you attack
00:14:35.140 them and you don't even know them, you don't even know their history. You don't know what they've done
00:14:41.160 or what they haven't done. And you just go along with something because everybody else is doing it.
00:14:45.400 That's weak as fuck, dude. I can't respect that. I can't respect it. What I do respect is having a
00:14:53.260 conversation. What I do respect is doing what you believe to be right. What I do respect is doing
00:15:00.820 it peacefully. What I do respect is not putting gas on fires and pouring salt in wounds to create a
00:15:11.040 certain result politically. I can't respect that. Can't respect it. I'm tired, man.
00:15:18.980 I'm tired. And I know there's people listening right now. Well, you have no idea how tired I am.
00:15:25.220 Well, that's the problem. That's the point I'm trying to make just because you're tired. And just
00:15:34.580 because I'm tired, we're not in a competition for who's more fucking tired. We should be in a
00:15:39.440 competition for who come up with the best solution and how we can unify. The only way that we will ever
00:15:45.180 win here ever is by unification. The more division, the more hate, the more violence, the more attacks,
00:15:55.400 the more we all lose. I'm at a loss for what's going on. I don't have the answers, but I know this.
00:16:02.120 If we continue to fight and we continue to see each other as the enemy and we continue to hate
00:16:10.060 and we continue to hurt and we continue to do bad things to each other online, in person, physically,
00:16:21.380 mentally, we're all going to lose. We're all going to lose. The only way to cure this issue and all the
00:16:30.460 issues is for us to learn how to talk, to learn how to have a conversation, to learn how it's not
00:16:39.620 about competing for who had more pain. It's not about competing for who's been through more bullshit.
00:16:48.000 It's not about that. I don't know what you've been through, but you fucking don't know what I've been
00:16:52.900 through either. And maybe we should have a conversation about it. Maybe your perspective would change.
00:16:58.860 I've had a number of people who have reached out to me and had those conversations and I respect every
00:17:03.300 single one of them. We've actually solved our differences pretty easily. I'm not here to push
00:17:09.560 the agenda, guys. I'm a business guy. I'm a guy who solves problems for a fucking living. I'm a guy
00:17:16.800 who's been pretty effective at solving problems for a living. I'm not a politician. I'm not running for
00:17:22.460 office. The only thing I can get out of this is to fucking lose. I'm doing this because I think
00:17:28.160 it's the right thing. And I had someone write a review and say, well, it seems like he looks at himself
00:17:31.740 like a martyr. No, I don't. Not at all. Not at all. But I could tell you this. Most business people
00:17:37.720 who see things won't say anything because they're afraid of losing sales and they're afraid of pissing
00:17:43.940 people off and they're afraid of this and that. Well, dude, I'm sorry. I see this problem in our country
00:17:50.100 and I see it as an obligation to say something to help bring together. And that's what I'm doing.
00:17:57.480 That's what I would like you to do. This trying to prove the point, this trying to attack,
00:18:03.660 this trying to constantly outwit each other and be more smart assy. There's no, there's no winning
00:18:09.040 there. There's no winning. There's no winning. I love all you guys. Whether you agree with me or not
00:18:17.280 agree with me or whether you, you know, you want Biden to win or you want Trump to win. I don't,
00:18:22.360 that doesn't matter to me. That's not how I see the world. I don't see the world that way. And
00:18:27.600 you know, I get accused all the time. Well, you're like, you're like a secret operative for Trump.
00:18:31.540 What the fuck are you talking about, bro? Can we not just have our own opinions without being,
00:18:35.680 having to pick a side? Like to me, that's the most closed mind thinking you could possibly have.
00:18:40.240 I mean, let's look at what we got going on right here. We've got all this fucking hate and all
00:18:45.260 this fucking division and all this anger and all this rage. And it's all focused at the wrong
00:18:51.800 motherfuckers. We're not each other's enemy here. We're humans. We have thoughts, we have opinions.
00:18:58.940 And sometimes those thoughts and opinions can be misguided. Sometimes we speak before we think
00:19:06.600 that's human. Sometimes we say things without considering how it's going to affect every single
00:19:13.420 human on the face of the earth. Guess what? That's human. And all of you are, or you wouldn't
00:19:18.820 be listening. Now, I don't really give a fuck what color your skin is. I don't give a fuck if you're
00:19:24.320 black. I don't care if you're white. I don't care if you're somewhere in between. I don't give a shit.
00:19:31.020 But what I do care about is that we as Americans stop hurting each other, stop fighting each other,
00:19:38.440 stop attacking each other ignorantly, and start to understand that we're all on the same team, man.
00:19:46.580 We're all in the same boat. We are all in the same boat. If that boat fucking sinks, guess who loses?
00:19:52.400 Us. Not just the Republicans. Not just the Democrats. Not just the liberals. Not just the conservatives.
00:20:00.120 Not just the blacks. Not just the whites. Not just the cops. Not just the media.
00:20:04.240 It seems that we're under some weird assumption that by destroying America and destroying its
00:20:10.080 culture and destroying our unity completely, that we're somehow going to win. How are we going to win
00:20:18.680 there? What's the win? What's the win if the boat sinks? Have we even thought about that? Have we
00:20:25.140 talked about that? I'm pretty disgusted, to be completely honest, with what I'm seeing from
00:20:30.560 everybody. Everybody's throwing around this word empathy, right? And I tease Gary Vee a lot about
00:20:38.520 overusing the word, which, Gary, you do overuse the word. But I'll tell you what, Gary, you fucking
00:20:43.320 right. Empathy is the key. Empathy is the key for all of us to figure out how to get better, how to
00:20:50.320 improve, how to resolve differences, how to stop tearing each other down. And you could sit there and
00:20:55.820 think, I don't understand. You're right. I'm not black. I may not understand what that's like.
00:21:00.560 You know what? I fucking certainly don't understand what that's like. But you also don't understand
00:21:04.320 what it's like to be mean. It ain't always been roses and fucking peaches and fucking sweet shit
00:21:08.840 like y'all think. Okay? Everybody's dealt with real shit. And I'm not minimizing anybody's shit.
00:21:15.260 But it was hard for me, just like it's hard for you, just like it's hard for fucking Susie Q.
00:21:19.640 You guys have to stop this shit. All of you. All of you. And you have to come together.
00:21:26.420 And you have to do it by your actions. You have to do it with conversations. One Instagram
00:21:33.440 post or two Instagram posts ain't going to do it. You know, constantly posting these divisive
00:21:38.620 slides in your story, trying to prove a point so you can get likes and attention. This ain't
00:21:44.160 a time to pander for attention, motherfuckers. This ain't a time to try to grow your brand.
00:21:48.620 This isn't a time to like do your marketing. This is a time to stop and fucking recognize
00:21:55.080 the danger that we're all in at this critical point, the history of our country. I love all
00:22:02.620 of you. All of you. All of you. I don't care where you come from. I don't care what you look
00:22:09.160 like. I don't care how much money you make. And that's not bullshit. Anybody that knows me
00:22:14.180 in person knows that's the fucking truth, but you guys got to start living it, not just
00:22:19.160 posting about it, not just talking shit about it, not just making, you know, divisive slides
00:22:25.920 in your story to get people to like them or rally around you. This is a time for solving
00:22:32.380 problems. This is a time for having conversations. This is a time for being civil and having real
00:22:37.500 empathy and listening. And a lot of you are saying the same shit, but you're not practicing
00:22:42.980 it. I can tell. Why are we constantly comparing, competing for pain tolerance, for stress? Who's
00:22:49.240 more busy? Who had the worst injury? Where does that come from? Why do we do this? Why
00:22:56.180 do we try to like, you know, validate our own self by devalidating other people's? You have
00:23:03.440 to understand that there's multiple truths inside of the truth. We talked about this on episode
00:23:10.040 45. There's your truth. There's my truth. And then there's the truth. And we have to separate
00:23:16.300 our truths so that we can see the truth. And then we can work to make the truth look more like the
00:23:23.740 truth that we would like to see. But until we can see the truth for what it is as a collective unit,
00:23:31.020 as a unified people, we're not going to fucking fix anything, guys. If you're out there attacking
00:23:38.620 people, fucking stop. If you're out there talking shit, if you're out there shaming people, fucking
00:23:43.220 stop. You're contributing to the problem. You're making people who are willing to hear and willing
00:23:50.500 to work and willing to do good. And I'm talking to you motherfuckers on both sides of this fight.
00:23:55.000 I am not talking to one side. I'm talking to fucking both of you because I've seen it from
00:23:59.080 everybody. If we don't get over this shit and stop acting like we're fucking nine years old,
00:24:03.480 we're going to fucking lose. You guys will not like what the world is going to look like.
00:24:08.320 I'm worried. I'm concerned. This isn't a time for me to tell you what to believe or what to think.
00:24:13.780 This is a time for me to urge you to learn how to think. This is a time for me to urge you
00:24:20.700 to stop being overly emotional. This is a time for me to urge you to sit up in your chair and pay
00:24:28.280 attention, all of you, to what's happening to all of us. It's got to stop, man. And if it doesn't,
00:24:36.340 we're all going to lose. I love you guys. I appreciate your support. I appreciate all of
00:24:42.780 your perspectives. Do I agree with every single point? No, I don't. Just like you guys don't agree
00:24:47.560 with everything I say, but I've always been about solutions and I've always been committed to
00:24:54.740 trying to find solutions. And the best solution that I can think of right now is to have this talk
00:24:58.700 with you, to get you to stop attacking, to stop shaming, to stop being a part of the division and
00:25:08.740 start being a part of the solution.