REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 53. The Ultimate Happiness Hack

00:00:00.000 what's up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:17.840 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and man are there a fucking ton of those right now

00:00:24.560 and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today has been a very good day for me okay it's monday 0.50

00:00:34.500 you're going to probably be hearing this on a tuesday uh but we're going to go ahead and roll

00:00:38.500 with a real talk to start the week off because i feel like people need something to help them

00:00:45.460 get back in the habit of having good days we're surrounded by so many uh outside influences

00:00:52.660 and circumstances that we can't control right now and it's inescapable okay we look everywhere

00:00:58.720 and what do we see you know we see the negativity we see people arguing we see you know people

00:01:05.280 hating each other and the internet is just a very toxic place right now and i wanted to

00:01:11.360 recommit to having you guys start to become more comfortable having good days and a long time ago

00:01:21.340 many many years ago i did a podcast of basically five or six things that could help you create

00:01:28.180 happiness at your will so how to have a great day every day all right and that's how you have to look

00:01:35.420 at it life is hard life is stressful life is frustrating life is long all right uh but it's also short

00:01:43.080 and so we need to learn how to produce a good day at will i don't think anybody could argue that right

00:01:51.680 like we can't continue to float through life expecting for a happy life just to happen to us

00:01:59.820 we have to snap out of our days and start to uh become conscious and aware of how to create a great

00:02:07.760 life and i'm going to do that today in today's podcast i'm going to give you some actionable steps

00:02:12.700 for you to create a great day at will but before i do that i wanted to talk to you a little bit and

00:02:19.420 just really express my gratitude for all of you that bought the 75 hard book and the app we did a

00:02:27.440 couple very amazing things uh with no help all right a lot of times when people create a new book or a new

00:02:36.120 item they send it out to everybody on social media and they want everybody to help post and

00:02:42.060 you know they run ads and they do all these things we didn't do that with this book we simply asked

00:02:48.860 for those of you who were interested in the program who have done the program who know the value of the

00:02:53.860 program to buy the book and i just wanted to say thank you because we sold so many books uh in literally

00:03:01.880 87 minutes i was blown away the books that we ordered were to last for six months and we sold them

00:03:09.380 out in an hour and a half guys i just want to say thank you for that um and i want to be real with

00:03:16.540 you you know there's a lot of times doing this podcast that i feel pretty lonely um i say a lot

00:03:23.400 of things that other people won't say uh i say a lot of things that i believe are true um i try to side

00:03:30.240 with the factual information as much as possible that's a whole nother podcast i want to talk to you

00:03:35.620 guys about i'm making one up right now uh for maybe later in the week that talks about how to make

00:03:40.420 decisions and how to critically think things through so that you know you can find the truth

00:03:45.060 but even the best of us those of us who uh you know work very hard and and obviously you know

00:03:52.920 the the external evidence of people caring about what i have to say uh is there you know but that

00:04:02.200 doesn't stop those negative thoughts or those questionable thoughts or those doubts from my

00:04:06.500 head and this was the first book that was ever a uh you know grown-up book we've done very well with

00:04:12.200 the children's books and you guys you know have done a great job um you know sharing those around and

00:04:17.080 it's highly appreciated but this is the first book that was of content made for someone who was you know

00:04:23.960 older and i just wanted to say uh it was a very cool feeling to sell those books out like that and it

00:04:29.720 made me realize like hey maybe uh you're you're being an idiot you know to myself i was thinking 0.82

00:04:35.160 that made me realize you know hey man maybe you're selling yourself a little short on what people want

00:04:39.620 to hear it from you and uh it was a very good feeling and i just want to say thank you guys for

00:04:44.440 that um i i did the book two different ways uh i did it as singles for 19.99 and i did it as packs of

00:04:51.820 five for 30 bucks and a lot of people were like why are you doing that well the reason i did that is

00:04:56.280 because it's it's been a consistent theme that people who contribute are people who complete 75

00:05:05.720 hard want to contribute to the program and if that's you if it's if 75 hard has been something

00:05:11.560 that's helped you redefine your mentality uh create the confidence the grit the self-esteem

00:05:16.600 the fortitude all the amazing qualities that you get from that program and you were wondering like

00:05:22.840 how can you pay me back um that's how buy the five pack and spread it around give it to people

00:05:29.080 that you care about explain the program to them um and and i just you know i thought that'd be a cool

00:05:35.380 way to try to see how much of what i say actually works in real life right i tell you guys word of mouth

00:05:41.240 is everything and i'm willing to ride on it you know what i'm saying so that's what that's for i i stand

00:05:46.600 by what i teach you guys i believe that when you give good things people do good and they

00:05:50.760 reciprocate and so i just want to say thank you guys for doing that and uh it it's just an

00:05:57.380 unbelievably overwhelmingly humble feeling uh and cool feeling knowing that you guys care about what

00:06:05.320 i have to say and i know that might sound stupid right like a lot of you guys are like dude at this

00:06:09.640 point in time i can't believe you're thinking that because i said a little bit like this on my story the

00:06:13.900 other day and people like literally laughed at me but you have to realize dude i'm a human too

00:06:19.000 i'm a normal dude when i say regular dude in my instagram profile i'm a regular dude and um i have

00:06:26.040 doubts sometimes too and you guys came through on this and it really was a time where i needed that

00:06:30.900 boost and i and really that means more to me than than anything of like selling anything so um i just

00:06:37.500 really appreciate you guys and love you guys and uh i look forward to what we're going to do together

00:06:42.460 over the course of time now with that being said guys i do have a podcast for you and like i said

00:06:48.240 we're going to talk about creating happiness and the reason i wanted to really bring this

00:06:53.180 up right now like i said is because we're having a tough time in society you know everybody has

00:06:59.560 bad days and some people they have them more than others and for some reason no matter what you do

00:07:05.320 you just can't seem to shake it i think we can all feel that way right but i'm going to share with

00:07:10.160 you guys five steps that will help you get back on the right path now these things don't require

00:07:16.340 a bad day or a bad week or a bad month to put into effect in fact i'd encourage all of you to

00:07:22.140 practice these steps on a daily basis to see just how profound the effect will be on your general mood

00:07:28.880 and outlook on life so i want to start off talking about that by sharing a story all right back in the

00:07:36.760 early 80s there was a coach by the name of jim valvano now if you're above 30 you probably know who

00:07:43.020 this is if you're below 30 you may not uh jim valvano was the head coach of north carolina state

00:07:49.840 basketball team all right in 1983 his team went to the national championship as a heavily unfavored

00:07:55.940 underdog and against nearly impossible odds i'm talking about a team that was chock full of future

00:08:03.300 hall of famers valvano and his team were able to secure the title it was and continues to be one of

00:08:10.100 the greatest sports upsets of all time and while his victory and celebration went down in history

00:08:16.860 it was his espy speech 10 years later that proved to be his legacy now a lot of you guys have seen

00:08:23.780 this but what most people don't realize when they look at this speech is that valvano was terminally

00:08:30.060 ill with cancer and he'd only lived two more months after the speech was delivered and at the very end of

00:08:35.760 his speech after being told he only had 30 seconds left he said a very iconic line that is you know

00:08:43.260 rightfully repeated over and over and over again and i happen to agree with he said if you laugh

00:08:49.380 you think and you cry that's a full day that's a heck of a day you do that seven days a week you're

00:08:57.100 going to have something special and that that line stuck with america and i want you to think about

00:09:02.300 that he was at the end of his life following an incredibly hard struggle and was still able to

00:09:10.200 impart that incredible message on to society can you imagine what his life was leading up to this

00:09:17.780 moment up to this speech he's he's battling a terminal illness he knows he's going to die you know

00:09:23.380 he had plenty of bad days but despite all that he managed to give the rest of the world a truly amazing

00:09:30.640 framework for happiness words like that get you thinking and that's what happened to me i had one

00:09:37.220 of those days where nothing seems to be going to plan and i thought about what process i should be

00:09:42.420 going through to get me into more of a you know pleasant state of mind so i want to get into that

00:09:48.680 and what those steps would be so the first step is just this be productive okay there's an old proverb

00:09:55.980 that goes an idle mind is the devil's workshop and that's exactly right i don't care if you aren't

00:10:02.140 religious the concept still applies basically if you aren't keeping your mind sharp and keeping

00:10:07.040 yourself busy it's going to affect your thought process if you're already having a bad day this is

00:10:13.100 certainly going to be true the mind has an uncanny ability to go to dark places when you're not

00:10:18.620 providing it with some sort of distraction okay a lot of us automatically go there if you're giving

00:10:24.540 yourself time to dwell on the bad things you're going to spiral into negativity it's a negativity

00:10:30.540 cycle you have a bad day then you keep thinking about each detail that pissed you off and instead

00:10:36.360 of moving on you just keep going through this system of thinking and become more and more and more angry

00:10:42.740 thinking about it over and over and over again i know that sounds familiar because it sounds familiar

00:10:49.080 to me too but this is where you need to get up and do something about it i've talked about my

00:10:53.340 powerless concept plenty of times but it's the perfect tool in this scenario write out five

00:10:58.760 critical tasks for the day and don't sleep until you've checked each one of them off the act of

00:11:04.960 writing this list itself is going to take your mind off the day's negative aspects it's going to get you

00:11:11.380 refocused on what you need to do the list is meant to help you build and create momentum self-esteem

00:11:17.780 and confidence both in yourself and in your ability to accomplish difficult tasks and goals that you

00:11:23.880 otherwise think you might not be able to accomplish all of those things are going to put you in a

00:11:29.560 better frame of mind when you're productive and you inevitably start to cross these things off the

00:11:34.000 list your mood has nowhere to go but up and if you want to find out about the power list it's episode

00:11:40.440 107 for the mf ceo project or episode 16 of the real af all right so if you go back to episode 16

00:11:48.840 real af feed or episode 107 way further back in the feed you're going to hear what the power list is

00:11:53.880 all about so that's step number one right be productive step number two learn something new

00:12:00.860 that same proverb i mentioned earlier works to this point as well don't sit on your couch and

00:12:06.160 veg out eating doritos and bologna sandwiches all right the kardashians aren't going to help you

00:12:11.320 right now in fact they're probably just going to piss you off more instead grab a book listen to a

00:12:17.260 podcast i'm not going to tell you how to set your guidelines but you have to understand that you need

00:12:22.860 to do something something that actively engages your mind and forces you to pick up some new knowledge

00:12:28.740 sure you might be having a bad day now but it is eventually going to get better just like

00:12:34.880 every other bad day you've ever had in your life so when you look back at that time wouldn't it be

00:12:39.560 better about yourself if you knew that you were using this time to actually become productive instead

00:12:44.740 of laying on the couch and feeling sorry for yourself think about that think about what that

00:12:49.640 does for your confidence what does it do for your confidence to know that every time you're having a bad

00:12:56.100 day you're able to flip it over into something productive how valuable would that tool be how valuable

00:13:01.820 would that tool be so that you every single time you were negative instead of whining and crying and

00:13:08.740 pouting and eating all the fucking baloney all right you actually went out and did something productive 0.93

00:13:14.320 that's powerful man now i'm not asking you to go read all you know crime and punishment i'm saying

00:13:20.800 sit down for 20 30 minutes and read something that's going to help you improve in the area that you need

00:13:25.880 to improve upon it's not going to take you very long until you realize hey that shit i was mad about 0.78

00:13:32.460 a minute ago it really doesn't matter in the long run you're going to be more intelligent and you're

00:13:37.600 going to have a leg up on those around you when you learn how to do this so the third thing is be

00:13:43.480 thankful all right when you're in a moment of your life where nothing seems to be going right take a

00:13:51.340 moment to look around and be thankful for all that you do have it's a quick easy exercise that's going to

00:13:55.640 change your perspective immediately sure you might have had a small fender bender earlier today but

00:14:02.120 shouldn't you be thankful that you left from a home you called your own you drove a car you also own

00:14:08.760 and you went to work because you're fortunate enough to be employed entrepreneurs and other successful

00:14:13.760 people guys they're always looking into the future and that's great but if you don't take the time to

00:14:19.540 appreciate what you do have you're going to end up in a situation where you're always feeling like you

00:14:24.240 don't have anything if you spend each day cultivating a state of gratitude and appreciation

00:14:30.420 you create a scenario where you set yourself up to foster positive mindset and a fulfilled existence

00:14:37.080 because you realize what you do have around you and you're grateful for it be grateful for everything

00:14:43.900 you have not just your physical assets be thankful for your family your friends your employees your

00:14:49.440 co-workers anything that you can find to be thankful for use it because it creates an environment

00:14:56.480 of growth so what do we got so far we got be productive we got learn something new we got be

00:15:03.380 thankful and point number four is this be generous i'm not saying you have to write a check all right

00:15:08.560 everybody here is generous and they think oh you got to write a check or you got to give away money

00:15:12.540 that's not what we're saying here give something of value most of you value your time people

00:15:18.640 appreciate time a lot more than money too i'm going to tell you that right now okay the feeling that

00:15:23.980 you get from donating your time not only is it going to occupy your mind but the feeling that you're going

00:15:29.360 to get of contributing and being part of something helps wash away these negative feelings all right

00:15:34.620 and how do you do this on a daily basis it's real simple do things that you otherwise wouldn't normally

00:15:40.460 do with your time call a friend you haven't talked to in years call your grandparents call your parents

00:15:45.940 they probably provided you with more than you could ever repay anyway the least you could do is take

00:15:51.720 half an hour out of your day and let them know that you're thinking about them all right there's many

00:15:56.200 many many ways to be generous stop thinking that generous equates to money it doesn't offer to help

00:16:02.640 a friend or a neighbor with some yard work you know look guys the truth is shoveling dirt or helping

00:16:08.780 build a deck for half a day is going to relieve your anxiety because you're going to be too fucking 0.92

00:16:13.160 tired and too sore and too sweaty to even worry about it being generous helps you be happy okay so

00:16:22.060 what we got now we got be productive we got learn something new we got be thankful and we got be

00:16:27.300 generous all right so the fifth thing is this enjoy something that money can't buy look guys

00:16:34.940 everyone is always hustling especially you guys man you guys who listen to this show you're always

00:16:41.180 hustling you're always pushing to be able to afford that next big purchase i love that all right but

00:16:47.300 you got to get money off your mind for a minute and chill all right there's plenty of things that you

00:16:52.260 can do if you choose to look around that will you know make your life much better and they don't cost

00:16:58.660 anything all right one thing i do here guys i do this every single day i take 20 minutes man and i

00:17:05.120 play with my dogs and i can tell you my anger goes completely away in about 30 seconds of that and

00:17:11.020 those of you with kids you probably can relate to that as well all right i don't have kids i got dogs

00:17:15.940 some of you don't think it's the same it is to me motherfuckers so chill the fuck out all right but 0.98

00:17:20.440 what i'm getting at here is spend some time with your family go on a run go on a hike head to the park

00:17:27.300 and hang out if you don't have time to leave your house go outside and hit the yard work man

00:17:31.960 we always got stuff to do grab a hammock get a lawn chair chill read you can combine these things but

00:17:38.500 do it outside don't sit in front of the tv because it distracts you from the moment and this has to be

00:17:43.820 a purposeful thing that you do enjoy something that money cannot buy all right and for all of you

00:17:51.200 it's going to be different but keeping that in mind we always turn to these material toys and items

00:17:56.580 and look i know that sounds weird because i got all the motherfucking toys and i love them but you

00:18:02.320 know what i love more i love enjoying things that money can't buy those things are what make us truly

00:18:07.620 happy and it's just the truth all right so let's review real quick what do we have here we got be

00:18:14.740 productive all right get shit done it always makes you happy we've got learn something new learning 0.78

00:18:20.640 something new is always going to relieve your anxiety it's going to make you feel more in control

00:18:25.340 it's going to make you feel better about the direction you're heading be thankful we can't

00:18:30.280 grow unless we have gratitude for what we currently have we spend our whole time and our whole day

00:18:35.540 being frustrated about we don't have how can we ever feel good ever okay number four be generous not

00:18:42.160 just with money money is a great way to be generous but if you don't have a lot of money right now which

00:18:48.020 a lot of you don't instead make a time all right that half an hour that you give to someone that

00:18:55.160 you wouldn't normally is going to make you feel just as good as it makes them feel all right and

00:18:59.920 and the last thing number five enjoy something that money can't buy now each one of these points alone

00:19:07.740 is definitely going to make you feel better okay it's going to help you out but when you combine them

00:19:13.060 all together in a purposeful action on a day-by-day basis now you're on a path of total success and

00:19:20.000 fulfillment that most people will never even be aware of much less reach all right so think about

00:19:26.460 this list go back and listen to this a couple times get this list in your head take notes and see how

00:19:31.620 good you do on a day-by-day basis practicing these things in your day-to-day life and I know you might

00:19:37.420 be sitting there thinking dude I am already stressed for time I'm doing 75 hard I got the power list

00:19:42.900 I'm doing all this shit how am I supposed to add this all in I can't afford to do that no you can't

00:19:47.860 afford not to do that because having peace of mind and having happiness creates an environment where

00:19:53.740 you're able to attract all other good things into your life so if you've been paying attention you

00:20:00.040 could you've probably drawn the conclusion by now that you could add these things in very simply all

00:20:05.520 right read while you're in the hammock play with your dogs and realize how grateful you are to have

00:20:10.420 them around be present in the moment of those things helping a friend move some furniture

00:20:15.340 that's being productive okay you don't have to like go so far out of your way I'm saying these are good

00:20:21.260 guidelines for having a great day on a day-by-day basis test yourself write these things down see

00:20:26.460 how well you do I promise you when you execute on all these things at the end of the day you're gonna

00:20:31.040 say that was a great fucking day all right guys that's it all right I love you guys don't forget pay

00:20:36.840 the fee if you thought this was a great show talk about it send it to a friend tell them to give it

00:20:43.340 a listen every time the conversation comes up of what do you listen to what are you consuming dude

00:20:47.940 pay the fee man we're up here doing our job we're trying to contribute some positivity and some good

00:20:53.140 thoughts into the world help us spread the show I love you guys I'll talk to you later

00:20:57.320 tell my teacher dumb bitch I'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till 1.00

00:21:03.260 existed

00:21:03.660 while I'm from where you can't trust

00:21:05.420 so welcome

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - July 07, 2020

53. The Ultimate Happiness Hack

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