658. Q&AF: Flexible Morality, Feeling Overwhelmed & Course-Correcting On Core Values
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Summary
In this midweek version of the show, we have a special midweek edition of Q&A ft. Andy for Selling to answer some of your questions. This week, Andy and I discuss the importance of having a strong moral foundation, and why it's important to have a solid moral code in order to live up to it.
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the real let's say goodbye to the lies
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the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we
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have a little midweek version of q and a f all right we're gonna throw you a little short one
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none of us like to throw those short ones you know we're gonna get you one this week uh because
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i actually have stuff to do i got a meeting right after this so we're gonna try to get you a little
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30 minutes maybe a little 45 minutes get you some knowledge get you moving on your way but this is
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q and a f and if you would like your questions to be answered on the show you could submit your
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questions a couple different ways the first way is guys email those questions into ask andy at
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andy for selling.com or you can go on youtube in the comments section of the q and a f episodes
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and ask your questions right there make them good too let's get some good stuff going uh so if you
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want to know what the show is all about go back and listen to the previous however many episodes you want
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and i'll go through the intro but today for time i'm just going to get right into it so uh what we
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got today we got three good ones for you i know you do guys andy question number one andy in a world
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where most people want a flexible morality to support their own poor behaviors and choices
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how do you explain a more objective morality on which to base personal excellence as a way to
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operate your life i tire of dealing with those that believe that they can do as they please
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and still expect that they deserve good results or even those that know they should be doing better
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but can't submit the skills or willpower to put it all together i believe that having a strong moral
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foundation underpins the success that i found in life i appreciate your insights here and i feel
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this uh it's a critical concept that many people miss look here's the thing all right all of us have
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made mistakes all of us have lived lives all of us have done things that we're not proud of and then
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we've worked to change the behavior so that we can become the kind of person we want to be there's tons
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of judgment in society but what you have to realize is that if you don't set the example for what
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you think the world should be it will not exist in reality it will never happen it's not about what
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you preach it's not about what you say on the internet it's about how you actually live and how
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you choose to represent what your moral code is in your life and that doesn't mean you're going to be
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perfect okay when i was in my 20s i was very judgmental because i hadn't lived any life when i was in
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my 30s i was less judgmental because i had a little bit more experience and i could recognize
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some of the mistakes i had made when other people made them and i give them a little grace
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now that i'm in my 40s i can understand where you're going to fuck up your shit because guess
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what i fucked up everything all right so we're all going to make mistakes we're all going to have
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situations where we do things that we're not proud of the key is for us to learn from those things and
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to move forward knowing that we shouldn't do those things that's how strong moral fabric is developed
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a lot of these people like to come out and they like to preach and they like to talk and they like
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to tell you that you're a shitty person because you want to be successful or you want to build
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something or you're not living to their code the reality is is those people aren't even living to
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their code those people are fucking walking out of church at 400 fucking pounds bro they're not setting
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any kind of example for anybody they're not showing anybody what it means to live a real standard and
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that's the most important thing we could do it's not our job to decide where someone's standards
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should be it's our job to help guide them to where their standards should be through our example and
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when we do that things change they do not change any other way so yeah bro i can understand you get
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annoyed when you meet people who don't hold your standard but the reality is is you should have some
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grace for them and show them what it looks like to actually hold a standard because it's not that most
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people want to be pieces of shit it's that most people have never observed anything other than
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that so if they've never seen anything other than that it's your job to show them that and bring them
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along and yeah there's some people that want to be a piece of shit they want to have low standards
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they want to sit on the couch all day and consume netflix and eat bullshit and be and just waste their
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life away those people are lost causes you cannot spend your life concerned about those people you have
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to help the people that at least have the drive and the will and the want to be better and the only
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way for us to do that is to live that in everything that we do so when i think about what the moral code
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should be in society it depends on how old you are because when you're 20 you don't know shit when
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you're 30 you know a little bit you've made some more mistakes when you're in your 40s you made some
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more and i bet when you're in 50s it's even more than that i don't know yet because i ain't there
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but the point is is that we should learn to have grace for others and realize that others don't
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have the same perspective that we have and as long as they have the drive and the want and the will to
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be better then it's our job to craft them into the right game because the problem is most these people
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don't understand the game they they think they can win with their personal game being half ass you
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can't win that way it's too competitive all right so we show people the way and then they follow but
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we don't tell them the way telling people the way will never help them get there it's always about
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showing them and you show them through your example so you know i don't think there's a there's a
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definitive answer where everybody should be at one given time because that would mean that we all live
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by the same experiences and that's just not true it takes lessons to get better it takes mistakes to
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learn the lessons so if we don't allow for that to happen because we're too busy judging everybody
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or canceling everybody or fucking disowning everybody because they don't live to our
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fucking standard how can anybody get ever better ever it can't happen so that's my take on that bro
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i'm not the moral police i made a lot of fucking mistakes but i do the best that i fucking can every
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day to help people along show people what it looks like the best i can i'm still not even close to
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perfect but people get improvements in their lives every day because of the example that you set or
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i set or anybody that chooses to hold that high standard and that's what the fuck we need to do
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yeah i love that man i love it uh guys let's get to question number two hey andy you operate at a
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very high level with sharing uh what that looks like is incredibly helpful so thank you for that
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i'm wondering if you deal with feeling overwhelmed or ever get concerned about crossing the line into
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burnout if so how do you go about helping these kinds of things to stay at bay thank you for all
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that you do brother i remember what it was like to be poor i remember what it was like to be broke
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i remember what it was like to be fat i remember what it was like to be a loser and i don't want to
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be any of those things so when i start to get burned out i start to be grateful for the opportunity
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to even be burned out i start to say fuck yeah this is hard but it's so much better than what i had
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before okay so we have to keep perspective real dude yes it's hard yes it's not always going to
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be fun yes it's going to be difficult yes you're going to want to quit over and over and over and
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over again but the difference between people who actually build shit and people who say oh i could
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have built shit if i really wanted to is the fact that they don't quit when shit gets hard okay so
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this whole idea and culture about burning out and needing to change and all this shit that's fine
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dude if you really are burned out and you're not happy with your life and you need to change it
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fine change it take a mulligan make the change but i could tell you this if you take that fucking
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mulligan every two years when things get hard you're never going to achieve anything in your life because
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it takes longer than that if you go two years here and then say oh this isn't for me whether it be a
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relationship a job anything a company whatever and you say oh i'm here for two years this isn't for me
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and then switch for two more years oh you know what i'm tired of this this isn't for me oh and
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two more years you know what this relationship's not for me anymore i don't feel the same way as i
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did in the beginning like dude you're going to spend your life in two year increments never
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accomplishing anything real because you're not putting in the time required to be an expert at
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your craft you can't master a skill in two years it's fucking impossible it doesn't matter what the
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skill is so if you can't master a skill in two years how are you going to build anything relevant
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if you switch from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing i'm not saying you can't have a do-over i'm
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not saying you can't change your relationship or change your career i'm not saying you can't do that
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but what i am saying is if you make a habit out of that you're going to fucking lose okay so we have
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to understand that that is the reality of the game we are playing it takes time it takes effort it takes
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time to master the path forward for you to even create anything so when you start to get burnt out
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and you start to be overwhelmed you got to remember hey this is part of the this is part of the journey
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this is part of it there's going to be times bro where everything's going wrong there's going to be
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times where the work's not going good you're not kicking ass things are on a look they're in a wall
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they're not great and you know what you got other problems on top of that you got problems in your
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relationship you got people in your family who are not doing well you got all these problems and bro
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it's overwhelming super overwhelming but if you quit it's all going to be for nothing everything
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you did everything you put in everything that you attempted to do is going to be for nothing so
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there's nuance here i'm not going to sit here and say you can't ever quit something sometimes the
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best thing you can do is quit something but if you if you make a habit out of it over and over and
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over and over again because you're quote unquote burnt out by instagram standards which by
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instagram standards every motherfuckers burnt out for like having to tie their shoes okay it's you
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know i gotta my shoes got a double knot i couldn't untie it i gotta have a mental health day like bro
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this is where the fuck we are in society and if that's where we are and you're gonna buy into that
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and subscribe to that i promise you you're gonna fucking lose you're not gonna be able to you're not
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gonna be able to build anything great because every time you're every time you're faced with hardship
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you're going to fucking say fuck dude i'm overwhelmed yeah i'm overwhelmed i'm burnt out i need a
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mental health day i fucking i gotta quit and bro you're gonna spend your life not accomplishing
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anything and here's the here's the problem you're gonna get to be 70 60 years old and you're gonna say
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holy shit i fucking wasted my whole life based upon this bullshit eventually look there's a time coming
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where everybody that buys into this is going to realize it was wrong that's that's it and you want
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to avoid that because it's not true okay you're gonna be overwhelmed you're gonna get burnt out
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you have to push through and yeah if you need to take a breather take a breather you need to take
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a couple days take a day you need to take a vacation cool that's part of it but the reality
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is is that burnout is way fucking overhyped in society right now and it's causing people to miss
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out on big picture goals that they have for themselves because they're buying into victim
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culture that's going on they're saying oh you know this isn't for me you know every time it gets
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hard and if you shift from you know hard to hard to hard to hard to hard to hard and you never push
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through the hard how can you ever get anywhere yeah you can't it's impossible i want you to think
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about this if you quit everything you ever did in two to three years which is the average job cycle
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for a fucking young person okay how can you get anywhere you cannot do it it's impossible because
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they repeat that cycle until they're 40 and they and then and then they're dude and then you got to
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work a job that you don't like just to survive and then that's where most people end up in their lives
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bro yeah and and if you're young and you don't want to end up there don't listen to any of these guys on
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the internet bro that's right let me ask you this because i had a mentor when i when i was like coming
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up going to college and stuff and he told me and i remember because i remember telling him like at one
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point i'm like man i feel overwhelmed and he said you're not overwhelmed you're inefficient
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right and so like i mean what's your take on that because and the way he explained it was like
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you know listen like when you start feeling overwhelmed that's a sign that you just ain't
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got your shit together you're not being organized you're not being efficient with your with your time
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what's your take on that it's hard to feel overwhelmed when you're kicking ass every day
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this is why i like the powerless system yeah okay because every single day you can feel like you won
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all right this is part of the confidence building aspect of the powerless that we don't talk about
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very much there's a reason why we go day by day and there's a reason why we mark the win or the loss
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it's because you can flip back and you can actually see the streak so when you start to feel burned out
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and you start to feel like things aren't happening you start to feel like you know you need to change
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shit you can actually open up your notebook and say wait i won the last six months in a row like this
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is actually going pretty good and you can remind yourself of where the fuck you were you know before
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and by the way to your point you're effectively crossing off critical tasks that you know are
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moving you forward you're doing things that other people are not doing even if you aren't seeing the
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fruits of the labor yet you can look back and say well i planted that seed i planted this seed over here
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i've been watering these seeds and you know that they're going to sprout okay and once you have a
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little success in life like once you get into your 30s and you start to realize whoa this is the way it
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actually works now you don't have any doubt you don't like when i when i set a goal and i start
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chipping away i don't doubt that it's going to work out because i know it's going to work out
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because i understand that this is not magic it is inputs and outputs it is math it is one plus one
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equals fucking two that's what we're talking about here so if you continue to chip in you're going to
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get out on the other side all right plant plant plant plant plant harvest harvest harvest harvest harvest
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harvest and if you're effective in doing that every day it's kind of hard to feel overwhelmed
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because you know you're effective and vice versa when you do feel overwhelmed and you go look back
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oh well shit and and what happened hold on do this week oh man yeah okay so you go back you feel
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overwhelmed you look back you say fuck i didn't even do my power list right i didn't even and now you
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have an understanding of why you feel that way which you can then correct so that's that's what i think i
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here's what i think i don't get burned out bro because i don't want to go back to where fuck i
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came from i don't give a shit what it takes like dude y'all must not hate where the fuck you came
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from as much as i do that's real shit y'all must not hate being broke as much as i did because i hate
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it so much bro that i don't fucking care i get up and i do what i gotta do that's it's fucking adult
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shit it's what i could do yeah yeah i'm under no illusions bro there's no there's no illusions in my life
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it is like there's no there i'm i'm not i haven't there's nobody coming to save me i'm very aware
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of that i'm very aware that it's on my fucking back every single day i'm nobody's more aware than
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me okay i have lots of people that depend on me lots of people with families lots of people that
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fucking have futures and dreams and careers and i take that shit real fucking serious bro so it's
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really hard for me to understand people who say oh i'm burned out bro you don't have enough shit to
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fight for you don't have enough shit to care about because if you actually care for shit more
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than just yourself you wouldn't be burned out you say hey bro i'm getting up and going to war for
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these motherfuckers see what i'm saying it's hard to feel burned out when you're fighting for the
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person to your left or the person to the right and if you're not doing that i can figure out how to
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make that your purpose because dude when that's your purpose like a lot of you that have kids you
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understand i get up every day and i don't get burned out because i got these fucking kids
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okay if you don't have that you need to figure out how to create that it's not about you it's about
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the mission it's not about you it's about them and if you could create that in your brain
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burnout really doesn't exist it only exists when you're selfish and you're thinking about yourself
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guys andy question number three third and final question andy i remember you talking about having
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core values in your company and hiring and firing based on them i've implemented core values as my
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company about four months ago three years in and there's some adjustments for sure my question is
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what's the best way to help someone course correct when they've not been operating within the core values
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so not necessarily hiring or firing them they're here i'm struggling with an employee right now i feel
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like they are aware and understand what the core values are but the core value and the core values
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aren't overly complicated they just aren't getting it any any thoughts or advice on this
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well i mean you can't make people abide by shit that they don't want to believe in
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you know if your core values of your your company and who you are which should align right because
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you can't make core values for a company that aren't aligned with who you are because eventually
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it will expose you for not being that person and you won't be able to authentically connect with
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anybody because people will know it's not genuine so if you have value system for your company
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and people don't fit it and they refuse to learn it then you have to remove those people
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because what will happen is those people will start to undermine those values with the other
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employees so we have a way that we do things and if you don't want to do things that way that's okay
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you just can't work here and that's very simple it's not a it's not a i dislike them it's not a i hate
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them i hope they go on and do amazing things but that is something that if you want to if you want
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a quality culture in your company it's going to be very important for you to hold that standard
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and a lot of people compromise that standard they will put up with someone who who does not align
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with their value system because they sell a lot of shit or they will put up with someone who does
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not align with their value system for some other reason right you will yeah and the problem with
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that is guys is that that will erupt and spread into a cancer where everybody will start to you know
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be affected by that so it's very important to understand that you know there are situations where
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it's just not a good cultural fit i mean that's reality like some people want to play baseball for
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the cardinals because they do shit a certain way some people want to play for the braves because they
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do shit a certain way some people want to play for the yankees right but nobody wants to play for these
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other shit teams that have no culture so like it's okay to have a different culture and understand that
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not everybody's going to vibe with it and there's going to be times where people don't fit and and you
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know it shouldn't be a personal thing it's just reality now if you want to get them to flow into
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it um you know those are conversations that's that a lot of people don't do the training right when it
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comes to culture they don't hold the standard right you know like when i communicate with my people i
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usually speak in terms of core values like if something's going on that is wrong i will say okay
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well this this is this and this and this are the three core values that this is violating right now and
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we need to fix that and they'll say oh that makes a lot of sense right and they'll they'll work on that
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um but dude the reality is is like there's only so much coaxing you can do there's only so much
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coaching you can do some people just aren't aligned and it sounds like if you know this person knows the
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value system and they just aren't doing it that means they're making a conscious decision not to buy
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in and that means that they're probably not a good fit for your company let me ask you this on on this
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topic because he mentions that he just implemented them four months ago but he he's been in business for
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three years is there something there with grace because he's been so long without sure you know
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what i'm saying like i mean you sure years without him and now you're expecting everybody in four
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months to just get it's going to take longer than four months yeah it's going to take a couple years
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to get these in so you're going to have to be patient with people you're going to have to coach
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people you're going to have to see you're going to have to learn to communicate like i just said
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in core value code right like when i'm teaching a lesson to the company i usually talk in terms of
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you know this value or that value or this value or this is what we stand for and i guide the behavior
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along those values not uh not based around you know um abstract shit it's shit that they can see
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it's actually on the wall of our main uh auditorium so that i can literally point to it and say this is
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what i'm talking about right here so a lot of times when people put core value structure into their
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business they don't learn how to communicate properly around the core values and they just think
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that they can throw up a sign and everybody's gonna this has to become an ecosystem bro you have
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to hire by this you have to fire by this you have to communicate by this you have to teach lessons like
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this you know like if i'm walking across the warehouse floor and there's a mess of there's a
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mess on the floor uh you know and i go back there and i start to clean it up what do you think happens
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what happens yeah everybody runs over okay exactly a couple dudes will run over and they'll be like
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no i got it i got it i got it no you don't yeah and i'll say to them i said no i got it i got it
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don't worry about it and i'll go and i'll put the trash in the trash whatever i'll clean it up right
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and those guys are usually standing there and by the way this never happens here anymore i'm talking
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about back in the day this never fucking happens now our squad our people here are fucking straight
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killers okay so i i can't even tell you to laugh because i know you guys all listen so i'm not
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talking about you guys but back in the day okay and so i would correct that and then they would
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be all standing there and i'd say hey what core value you think that is what is that right and
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or i would say what's up with that why is that on the floor and they say and i'll say wait a minute
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what's that say up there on the wall it says take responsibility what's that one right below that say
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that says take initiative okay that means that's your problem to fix and that means you got to take
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the initiative to fix it okay you understand what i'm saying and i tell the guys that and they're like
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yeah dude totally i get it and it starts to teach little behaviors that then everybody does and the
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rest of the team starts to follow so um you know a lot of these guys put these systems in place
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thinking that like a poster on the wall is going to somehow fix their company culture it's not
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yeah and it's going to take time it's going to take trust building it's going to take communication
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it's going to take you know uh reps it's going to take you understanding how to communicate so i do
00:22:12.600
think that four months is way too soon for that for that kind of uh i'm i actually was zoned out when
00:22:18.020
you asked the question so i missed that i missed that four month part um but yeah there is some grace
00:22:23.100
there but then later you know go play this question back put the back part at the front and the front
00:22:28.180
part at the back and you'll have the right answer okay uh later as you start to get proficient with
00:22:32.480
this and you get good with this uh there's going to be people that just don't fit and that's okay
00:22:36.420
man it doesn't mean they're bad people it means that they're just not a fit for you and they'd be
00:22:39.580
happy they will be happier somewhere else and you will be happier with them somewhere else and so will
00:22:44.020
everybody else around you so uh you know listen i could talk culture and teach culture for literally
00:22:50.780
a week straight 12 hours a day and there's still be a fucking a month left to talk about it but that's
00:22:56.420
the summary of the answer i love it yeah you've got you got it you've got to set the values you've
00:23:01.100
got to hold the values of utmost importance you've got to reward your people around the values you have
00:23:06.500
to communicate in terms of the values you have to correct you have to hire you have to fire and
00:23:11.040
that's a skill set that an operator needs to understand it's not just throwing a poster on the
00:23:15.620
wall that everybody runs out of the locker room and touches and thinks that that's like what it is
00:23:20.280
it's not that bro it's a total ecosystem of communication and when you first implement it
00:23:25.600
you're gonna have pushback you're gonna have people to say bro i'm not doing none of this
00:23:30.040
shit and you know what cool go do none of that shit somewhere else but we here are gonna do the
00:23:35.520
shit this way and dude people appreciate that even if it's not their way because at least they know what
00:23:41.560
the fuck it is you know most places have no culture at all bro it's karen's in the kitchen on
00:23:47.120
their birthday hey everybody wants a birthday cake today yeah it's fucking horrible you know what i'm
00:23:53.480
saying like if you want to build a company that people you know and by the way that doesn't cure
00:23:57.860
all the problems bro it doesn't mean that there's not going to be hard times it doesn't mean there's
00:24:02.260
not going to be difficulties but what it does mean is that when you guys face those difficulties people
00:24:08.060
are going to work in cohesion to solve them as a team not just say ah fuck that's not my problem
00:24:13.220
right so it's a big deal there's a lot to learn there if you want to learn more in depth about how to
00:24:19.720
build culture that's why we do rt syndicate so we this is what we teach we teach this how to operate
00:24:25.700
companies top to bottom it's not a 799 course to make money bro i'll teach you how to run your
00:24:32.540
fucking company and so will ed and that's what we do so yeah i love it man well guys andy that's three
00:24:39.860
went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions
00:24:47.120
in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed