661. Q&AF： Building Confidence, Showing Your Success & Fixing Your Failing Business
Episode Stats
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Summary
On this episode of Q&A, we have a special guest on the show, and he's a man of many talents. He's an expert in the field of mental toughness and has completed the 75 Hard Program, which is the world's largest mental transformation program. In this episode, he talks about how he got to where he is now, and why you should be doing the same.
Transcript
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What is up guys, it's Andy Fursella and this is the show for the realist's sake of biting
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the lies and fitness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality.
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Guys, today we have Q and AF. This is where you submit the questions and we give you the answers.
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Now you can submit your questions to be answered on this show a few different ways.
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The first way is, guys, you can email those questions in to askandy at andyfursella.com
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or you can go on YouTube in the comment section on Q and AF episodes and put your question in there.
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We'll pick some from there as well. Other times you tune in throughout the week, you're going to hear CTI.
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That stands for Cruise the Internet. So we put topics on the screen. We talk about what's going on in the world.
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We speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about what the solution is
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and what we, the people, have to do to make that solution materialize.
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Sometimes we have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talks
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and things that I think you need to hear. Then we have 75 hard verses.
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75 hard verses were people who have completed the 75 hard program,
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which is the world's largest mental transformation program.
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They come on, they talk about how their life was before, usually a shit show,
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and how you can do the same in your life using the 75 hard program.
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If you're unfamiliar with the 75 hard program, it is the initial phase of the live hard program,
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which you can get the entire program for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only.
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There is a book called the book on mental toughness on my website.
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You can buy, which will detail the entire program as well.
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Plus a whole bunch of other chapters on mental toughness, what it is, how to develop it,
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why it's important, and how it'll change your life.
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So you can get the book on my website, andyfrusella.com.
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And other than that, you can also get the program for free at episode 208 on the audio feed.
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What that means is we need you to share the show, all right?
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We talk about things on the show that usually get us throttled.
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They get us traffic banned or censored or whatever, man.
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And so I need you guys to help us get the message out.
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So if you're a regular listener of the show, I ask you very simply that if you get value out of a single episode,
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And if you brought me one friend for every time you listen to the show, the message that you enjoy,
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that you believe is important, would be out there.
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The deal is I pass on spending 30 minutes talking about ads on the show,
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It would be eight figures a year for me in income.
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And I fund the show myself so that you don't have to deal with that shit.
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And it can actually say what I actually want to say and not have to abide by these companies' policies.
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And in exchange, I ask that you share the show out for us.
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So I just ask that you share the show and help us get it out there.
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I don't, you know, I've never understood, like, you know, I remember watching all the shows
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and they always had this, like, stigma on the DMV.
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Well, that's what you get when you provide no incentive for people to process and do their jobs at a timely manner.
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You know, if that was an actual privatized business, it would run completely different.
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You know, like, if it was, if people were incentivized to process the amount of, like, let's say every single, you know, license, every single permit, every single thing they did, they got $3 for, $5 for.
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How quick do you think they would get shit done?
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We got, we had to go, like, you come in, you get your shit.
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Like, they make it such a fucking miserable process, man.
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Every once in a while, you'll go in there and you'll get someone who's extremely helpful.
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I mean, I get it, but I don't, I just don't get it.
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I mean, what do the people that typically work in these places look like?
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They look like they don't give a fuck about anything.
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And they have found their way into a job that allows them to be themselves.
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So, what do you think that they give about your license?
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I think a little bit of that, too, though, man.
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But I think another little piece of that, too, bro, is, like, anytime there's, like, there's
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Yeah, because that's the only time someone like that has that authority.
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People that have real authority don't flex it like that.
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Because, but dude, you got to remember, these people don't and haven't done anything in
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And they treat people like shit because they can, because there's nothing you can do about
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So, and I appreciate the good ones that are out there.
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So, the reason those stereotypes exist is because it's fucking true.
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I'm sure we got one person that works at a DMV that's listening.
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You cannot have a stereotype exist that doesn't have a large amount of truth to it.
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I'm thinking of a stereotype that doesn't have truth.
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You know, these people, they want to fight all these stereotypes and social justice.
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And I just got your new book and I blew through it in one week because I couldn't put it down.
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How do I find it within myself if I feel like it's just not in me, period?
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I act like I have it and never show lack of it.
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But deep down, the truth is I feel like I have no idea what it really is.
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I have a great five-star rating on Google and Yelp.
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But, man, I feel a huge void when it comes to never feeling like I deserve anything I have or good that ever comes.
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And it happens and it's hella fucking frustrating and depressing.
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And if you're a driven human being who is wired for success and ambition and growth and change, you are always going to feel like you're not where you're supposed to be.
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You're always going to feel like you should have done more.
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These are common feelings with anyone who is working to achieve anything.
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Any champion that is out there at the top of their game, if you crack their head open and you looked in there, their brain is not filled with all of these, what the average person would think, all of these headlines about how great they are.
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It is filled with insecurity, doubt, things that motivate them, things that people have said to them, chips on their shoulder, slights, disrespect, things that make them feel less than,
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which is why, in reality, they push harder to develop a bigger, better game, whatever that game they're playing is.
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So you happen to be someone, because you are an entrepreneur, someone who is driven.
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And I would bet that if you were sitting right in front of me right now and I asked you if you feel behind, you would say yes.
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And that's because everybody feels like they're behind when they're in that game.
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So you have to understand that is the way you're wired.
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And if they're out there and they're boisterous and they're cocky and they're talking all this shit, it's usually a cover for their own insecurity.
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Number two, you're going to never feel confidence until you start keeping the promises that you make to yourself on a regular basis.
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And these are the small promises and the big promises.
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If you constantly had a friend who came to you and told you they were going to get in shape, they were going to get their money together, they were going to get their life together.
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And they told you that over and over and over again, but then every single time you saw them in public, two hours, three hours later, they're drinking beer, they're eating shit, they're doing all this bullshit.
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Every single time you task them with something to do, they fail at it.
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How much confidence are you going to have in that friend?
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You're going to know that everything that that friend tells you is going to be bullshit.
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So when you tell yourself you're going to do all these things, I'm going to get in shape.
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I'm going to do this and this and this and this and this.
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And you fail to do those things on a daily basis.
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You are losing confidence in yourself bit by bit by bit by bit.
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You are either putting a deposit in or you are making a withdrawal out.
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And every single time that you do not keep the promises that you make to yourself, you are making withdrawals, which means your confidence level will always be low.
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So what you need to work on here, brother, is one, you need to recognize that driven people always feel behind and they're always going to have doubt.
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They're always going to have chips on their shoulder.
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That's what makes us fucking great at what we do when we become great.
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It's the people that told us we were pieces of shit.
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And anybody who tells you different, they haven't achieved anything.
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They take the dark shit and they put it into productive action to build the life that they want.
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And because that's the way that most of these people operate, they always end up feeling behind.
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They always end up feeling like it wasn't good enough.
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I bet if you go talk to Michael Jordan, who's the greatest fucking basketball player ever to play the game,
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and you had a real conversation with him, real, no cameras, no fucking people around,
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and you said, what do you think about your career?
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And he's going to talk about all those things because that's what fucking champions focus on.
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They focus on the shit, all the things that are wrong, and then they fix all those things,
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Otherwise, you wouldn't be out trying to build your own business and start your own thing.
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So you have to remember that, and you have to remember that confidence is built.
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And most people only make withdrawals and then try to cover for all their withdrawals
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with a bunch of false bravado that is very easy to pick up if you know what you're looking
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So if you want confidence, you've got to build confidence.
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That's what the Live Hard program is truly all about.
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It's about building an actual stack of evidence that says you are who you say you are.
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And when you can look at the stack of evidence and say, I am who the fuck I say I am, and
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you can remind yourself when you have all this doubt, and you have all this dark shit, and
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you have all this drive that makes you feel behind, but you can stop and you can say,
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wait a minute, I've done this, I've done this, I've done this, I've done this, I've done this,
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I did this thing, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, and have a conscious reminder of who
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you are, you can X out all those feelings at any time you want.
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When I start, because I'm a very driven, competitive human, when I start to feel myself get down
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on myself, and I stop myself and I say, hey, wait a minute, bro, you started a business
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with 12 grand 25 years ago that now employs thousands of fucking people, okay?
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Now you have a thing, you know, I go through a list of all the shit that I've done, and all
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the good that's come of that, and then I'm like, wait a minute, I'm the fucking man, what
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And now all of a sudden, that shit goes away, and then I have access to it when I need it,
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Yeah, because look, dude, you want to have the dark shit because it's useful, but you
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don't want it at the forefront of your mind all the time because it'll drive you crazy.
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So you need this shit, and you need to remember, like, dude, there's times when I get lazy,
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and I'm like, wait a minute, there's a bunch of young motherfuckers trying to take my shit,
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So this is real shit, and by the way, that's no disrespect because I'm friends with all
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I actually value and respect and love them because their wins motivate me to keep going.
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Otherwise, if no one's chasing me, where the fuck am I going to go?
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I have to chase or be chased, and that is the truth for all winners, bro.
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The minute that you have nobody to chase and the minute nobody's chasing you, you're dead.
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When you get too dark, you've got to remind yourself of the shit that you're doing.
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That's why doing the power list and seeing your progress is so valuable.
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Going back and saying, wait, for the last 180 days, I have four losses.
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You're like, wait, I'm moving the needle even if it can't be seen out there, which helps
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There's a lot of nuance to this, but that's the general answer.
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I mean, when I was initially reading this question, it's like, I'm like, okay, well, what does
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Like you need the dark energy, but the confidence, having that confidence that you've done helps.
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I don't care what you've accomplished, how many trees you hugged, bro, real people who
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have built real things in real life have a dark side.
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I want to do it for these reasons because it's going to cause these things to happen.
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And these reasons have to be outside of self to be big enough to get everybody else to
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If it's not real, people won't buy in and do it with you.
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And then you also have to have the other side, which is all the people that told you you were
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a loser, all the people that told you to get a real job, all the people that told you you
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weren't going to be shit, all the people that laughed at you and said, oh, you need to be
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People, people like you don't do things like that from here.
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You know, all this bullshit that we all hear, all the people that laughed at us, all the
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smart ass comments on Instagram, you put those over there on the negative.
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They don't just do affirmations and feel all good.
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There's a reason why those people get their fucking asses beat because they're only drawing
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on 50% of the available energy to drive you forward.
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They want to be virtuous and they want to say, oh, you know what?
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There's only one spot on the podium that says number one.
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So you can want and wish and desire things to be different, but there is still reality
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And the reality that you and I and everybody else has to deal with is that we are in a
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There is only so much space for what you want to do, where you want to do it.
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And to get great, you have to use both sides of the energy equation, which are positive
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And you fuckers that think you're too virtuous to use a negative, you're going to get fucking
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If you have a fucking, if you have a fucking Formula One car, okay, and you're running a
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race and everybody else runs on four brand new tires, the two fronts and the two rears,
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and you only change the rears because you think that's the way it should be, what's going
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And you're going to lose over and over and over and over again because your belief is
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not based in reality, even though you believe it.
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It's just a virtuous self, it's virtuous, it's virtuous masturbating is what it is.
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You're saying, oh, I'm such a good person because I don't have any of the dark energy
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You're also losing at the very thing you claim to want to do with your life because you refuse
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to acknowledge the reality of both sides of the energy equation.
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And the dark side, the dark side is far more powerful for most people if you can harness
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The problem is people ignore it or they're not willing to look at it or they just dismiss
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Actually, bro, I had a guy on fucking Instagram in 2015 and I got the comment in my motherfucking
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It says, was the CEO, uh, is the CEO too successful to use his own products?
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I lost a hundred pounds and the company grew hundreds of millions of dollars since then.
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I should send this guy a fucking check because every single time that I haven't felt like
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I opened my phone and I'm like, yeah, fuck that guy.
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Andy, I'm a 30 year old entrepreneur who aspires to live life on a similar level to yours one
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As I've become more successful, I've noticed people, clients and contractors I hire making
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comments about the nice vehicle I drive, not in a complimentary way, but more so of a must
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be nice or this guy must be ripping us off way.
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Now, as someone who is motivated by nice houses and cars, et cetera, how do you deal with this
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perception from others and ultimately employees that may see my material wealth in the future
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and not think that they are getting the short end of the stick?
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Have you ever had this, this like moral dilemma, I guess?
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Do you want anybody working for you that doesn't want nicer things for their own life?
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Do you want anybody associated with you that doesn't want to win?
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Do you want to do business with anybody that isn't trying to win on the biggest fucking scale?
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Do you want to be surrounded by poor little me's who say, oh, must be nice.
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While you were out doing all your shit and taking your vacations and traveling the world
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and getting in touch with nature, whatever the fuck it is you do, guess what I was doing?
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All those relationships you had, those four or five year relationships where you went out
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and partied and did this and you went through four different careers along the way.
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That's what I say when people say it must be nice.
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I have no fucking apologies for what I've done because I have given everything I fucking have to have it.
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Millions of people have changed their lives because of that.
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Do you think any of these people would have believed in me if I wasn't a driven human being?
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If I pulled up in a Ford fucking Focus with rusted out buckets and I gave these motivational talks, would anybody fucking hear what I'm saying?
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Would I have a company full of highly motivated killers if they didn't realize that I was a winner myself and that I was very serious about fucking winning?
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Because, you know, like early on in business...
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And it's a good filter for you to use to weed out people's mentality.
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I do not want a single person surrounding me that doesn't want nicer shit for themselves.
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I got guys here that have lots of animals and they own a little farms and they do other things.
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They're highly motivated and inspired by success.
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I don't want a single person around me, not even with a hundred miles around me, that would say something like that.
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So, you should use that as a filter to filter out every single motherfucker that ever says anything with you.
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If they're a contractor of yours, don't use them.
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Find someone who wants to win because what they're really telling you is,
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I don't have any intention of ever going where you're trying to go.
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I was just thinking like, you know, like in your journey, right?
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Like when you started to see the success, right?
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Like when you started to see it, because I feel like...
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Wasn't there a story about like the first Lambo you had?
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But, dude, I felt the same way this person feels.
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Because I was around a lot of people at that time who were still very much so just going
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But I'm not buying your shit of pretending that that's what you actually wanted when in
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reality I've heard you talk about all this other shit your whole life and the truth
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is you're just too pussy to go out and build it.
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I have friends that don't give a fuck about anything money-wise.
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And actually, those are some of the most interesting people.
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Where I have a problem with it is the people who virtue themselves and...
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It's no different than these motherfuckers on the internet.
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When I first bought that Lamborghini, I was surrounded by...
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And I talk about how when you have your first group of friends and you go out and try to
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be successful, they're all going to laugh at you and they're going to make fun of you
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and they're going to question you and they're going to doubt you and they're going to tell
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you you're wasting your time and that you're stupid and you're going to be the butt of the
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And this is why most people never try, all right?
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Because you start to move down the path of creating a better life and that's where it
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And this is where most people, when they're in the middle, they say, oh, it's lonely at
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You're not at the top, bro, because you bought a fucking entry-level Lambo.
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So you get to the middle and you start saying, oh, it's lonely at the top.
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And then these people go back to their group because they want to be friends and they fucking
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But the guy who keeps going, he finds a new group.
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And by the way, not only do they like the same stuff and are they on the same path, they'll
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So when I first got that car, I was in between.
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I hadn't met my new network yet and I still have my old network.
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And I was hearing the same shit you're talking about.
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You know, I would recommend you do it different.
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Well, you had this car for a whole year and you didn't drive it.
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Yeah, and what ended up happening was I drove the car out in public.
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I saw one of my guys and they fucking was like...
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And they were like, fuck, dude, that's awesome.
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I couldn't hide the secret anymore because everybody's going to know.
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And yeah, some people got pissed and they fucking bailed out.
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But since then, I've gone on to do the rest of the shit that I've done.
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Because it weeded out all the people that didn't want success.
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And by the way, I went up to my friend during that time.
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I had a friend at that time who had a lot of nice cars.
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I said, do you ever get any pushback from driving these nice cars?
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Do you want any people around you that don't want nice shit?
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Do you want anybody on your team that doesn't want nice shit?
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Do you want anybody on your team that doesn't want to win?
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Do you want anybody on your team that's not driven?
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But they sure as fuck shouldn't be hating on success.
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Use it as a filter to weed out the people who aren't going to fit in the direction you are taking your life.
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Andy, I've listened to you for about seven years now.
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I'm a 38-year-old small business owner, not by choice.
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So I don't really know if I would call myself an entrepreneur.
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However, I've been selling my product for about 18 years now, storage sheds.
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I've been in business on my own for the last eight.
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Within those first three years, I managed to acquire four locations and an online store.
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In January 2020, I was finally able to start working from home.
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At the forefront of living my dreams, while my business ran itself pretty much,
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However, each year, the sales and income are being cut in half.
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I've adjusted the business to take on new types of business so that we can hopefully stay busy.
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I've pressed and pushed ahead and can't get up this mountain.
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I don't think it's my fault, but it really beats me up mentally.
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I feel like I'm failing at something that I know I'm a fucking G at,
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I feel like I may have to switch up my game plan and start selling something else
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that people can afford during this time period in the economy.
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First off, bro, you said everything was going great,
00:29:51.120
and you decided to go work at home and fuck off.
00:29:53.340
What did you think was going to fucking happen?
00:30:02.920
You are in the most competitive game in the world, which is entrepreneurship.
00:30:12.500
And the consequences of being bad at business are life-altering.
00:30:19.720
You've allowed your sales to get cut in half and cut in half again
00:30:27.660
Because if you were a fucking entrepreneur, you'd be in there every motherfucking day
00:30:35.820
So my advice to you would be get out of that fucking shed business
00:30:42.220
Now, if you say, oh, well, that's not the answer I was expecting,
00:30:49.640
You are not good enough to win on half your effort.
00:30:53.220
Neither am I, and neither is anybody else who's out here winning.
00:30:56.060
And the reason that your shit is cut in half is because you weren't listening to me close enough.
00:31:12.780
You can't become a professional musician while you're digging your business out of a fucking hole.
00:31:20.680
I'm assuming you inherited the company and are running the company for eight years on your own.
00:31:29.840
Well, if you're not an entrepreneur by choice, you're definitely going to fucking lose.
00:31:32.480
Because there's too many people that want to do it, that'll kill for it,
00:31:35.540
that'll give everything that they fucking can for it to beat you.
00:31:38.480
And I guarantee you, in the shed business, there's plenty of those people.
00:31:46.920
Am I going to grow this business into a real business?
00:31:49.520
Or am I going to let the family business die and me going to live my other dream,
00:31:54.380
which is going to take another however many years?
00:32:06.540
like Jelly Roll and these other guys who are coming along later in life,
00:32:10.980
Killer Mike just won Grammy's at fucking 50 years old.
00:32:14.700
So, comes out of nowhere after being dormant forever and fucking crush it.
00:32:20.940
But just like business, if you are not completely bought in with all of your effort,
00:32:26.420
all of your intent, all of your work ethic, you cannot make it.
00:32:30.060
Because just like business, there's people that are willing to give everything
00:32:35.140
And the biggest mistake that we all make is thinking that we can compete
00:32:38.680
with half of our effort with other people that are willing to fucking die to get there.
00:32:57.720
Are you in a position to starve and become, maybe, if you're great at it, a star?
00:33:03.840
And by the way, to get great at it, you're going to have to first understand what I'm saying,
00:33:11.840
You're not going to buy a fucking course from one of these online fuckheads
00:33:15.460
that's going to make you a professional fucking business guy.
00:33:22.020
So, do you want to put the time into music for the next 10 years
00:33:30.760
Or do you want to take something that you already know very well that you're at a position in life
00:33:37.000
to operate and dedicate yourself to doing that and build it into something real
00:33:41.020
that gives you, you don't have to become, you don't have to be, you don't have to become the fucking Nike of sheds.
00:33:47.260
But it sounds to me like you're the kind of guy that wants to make enough money to fucking live his life.
00:33:52.840
That's not ideal when it comes to being the main guy at a company.
00:33:57.480
The main guy at a company is in it for the fucking win.
00:33:59.700
They're not in it for the fucking, I'm trying to, you got a fucking regular dude mindset, bro.
00:34:05.780
There's nothing wrong with that, but you can't win the game with that mindset when you're playing the game.
00:34:11.660
Do you want to put the time in to resurrecting the shed business and create a situation where you get real income?
00:34:17.800
And when I say real income, it sure as fucking 34K a year.
00:34:21.420
That, bro, I'm going to tell you right now, that would freak me the fuck out if I were you.
00:34:27.280
The fact that you're not even more panicked is a red flag to me that you shouldn't even be in the game.
00:34:40.340
If you were my friend, I'd say, what do you want to do, bro?
00:34:48.260
Figure out a way to earn some income so you can fucking eat during the way.
00:34:58.500
You could be beginning in day one guitar lessons.
00:35:01.040
I don't know what you mean when you say play music.
00:35:12.800
Do you want to take the shed business and do you want to make it so you can make a million bucks a year?
00:35:17.140
You could probably do that in three or four years with the shed business.
00:35:22.380
But if you go with the shed business, you can't go play guitar all fucking day and expect it to go.
00:35:33.660
You got to go full guerrilla fucking warfare mode on your business and go straight hard as fucking long as you can.
00:35:42.060
If you're competing in this game, you will lose with anything else.
00:35:46.240
And anybody who tells you any different, I promise you, is losing.
00:35:49.980
Dude, there was something you said that really clicked for me too because even me personally, I've always looked at when you think about a company or just a business, right?
00:35:58.920
Like, when you think about it, it's like, oh, well, you know, that's a taco stand or this is a construction company, right?
00:36:06.900
Like, and you think that they're different, but when in reality, the principles of-
00:36:23.120
If you want to be a fucking artist and you want to be great at it, you're going to have to put in 10,000 fucking hours or 10 years of time.
00:36:47.880
You want to be a great audio engineer, a producer?
00:37:00.620
You have to pick a thing and you have to go all the fuck in because it is arrogant to think that you can win a game against other people where they are all in and you are giving half of your effort.
00:37:16.920
When I say to this guy, you're not that good, nobody's that good.
00:37:24.600
It comes from comparing yourself to these people on the internet that smile all day and act like this is easy.
00:37:32.180
I run my business and I got 17 other ones and they do all this shit and you know what I do?
00:38:02.020
Like, if you took half the week off to go play guitar, bro, sales would start dropping.
00:38:11.600
It's like, like how you said, it's like nobody's immune from it.
00:38:16.380
There is guys that compete against me that take half the week off to play golf.
00:38:20.120
And take half the week off to fucking go on vacation and play guitar.
00:38:26.120
I'm the guy that you're competing with and you don't get it.
00:38:32.880
In the music industry, that guy's going to win.
00:38:46.740
That motherfucker's putting in ten times the inputs that you're putting in.
00:38:51.860
And you want to say work-life balance and all this shit?
00:38:55.420
Listen, when you're the fucking head honcho and it's your shit,
00:39:05.200
But when you're the fucking captain of the motherfucking ship,
00:39:09.540
that shit is way far down the line of priorities.
00:39:14.940
to the million-dollar mark over the next three years
00:39:20.680
And you ain't in a place to get it all right now,
00:39:24.040
And you're not good enough to compete at half your effort
00:39:26.560
just like every other fucking person out here that's competing.