688. Q&AF： Starting Your First Business, What "Alpha" Really Means & Dealing With Depression
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Summary
In this episode of the show, the guys talk about mental toughness and how it can change your life. They also talk about how mental toughness can help you become the person you want to be and how you can develop it. The guys also discuss who is the most mentally tough person in the world and why it is important to cultivate it and why you should cultivate it.
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy purcell and this is the show for the realists to say goodbye to the lies
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to fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we
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have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the afs you can submit your
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questions a couple different ways uh to be answered on the show the first way is guys you
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can email those questions into ask andy at andy for seller.com or you can go on youtube and drop
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your question in the comment section on the q and af episodes and we'll pick some from there as well
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other times you tune in if it's your first time listening uh we have cti that stands for cruise
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the internet that's where we put topics on the screen we talk about what's going on we speculate
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on what's true and what's not true and then we uh talk about how we the people have to solve these
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problems in society other times we're gonna have real talk real talk just 5 20 minutes and me giving
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you some real talk and then we have 75 hard verses 75 hard verses where someone who's completed the
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75 hard program which is the initial phase of the live hard program they come in they talk about how
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their life was messed up before how they got it corrected using the 75 hard program and how you
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can do the same uh if you're unfamiliar with live hard and 75 hard program you can get the program for
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free at episode 208 it is the world's most popular mental transformation program in history and it's free
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and um you can get a book there's a book on my website called the book on mental toughness
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it's not required but if you're somebody who likes to know the ins and outs and the ups and downs and
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all the details i'd recommend the resource it gives you the entire live hard program plus 10 chapters on
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mental toughness why it's important why you need to cultivate it and how it can change your life
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there's also case studies on some very famous people who you will recognize who talk about how they use
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mental toughness to uh become the people that you recognize all right now guys we have a fee for
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the show the fee is not um monetary although we do appreciate when you support my companies you support
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what we got going on uh that means a lot but what we say when we say pay the fee it means share the show
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okay we don't run ads on the show um and in exchange for that i ask very simply if you like the show if it
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gives you perspective it makes you laugh it makes you think if you if you think it's something people
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need to hear please share the show we talk about controversial subjects here on the show uh as you
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guys know and we get censored and shadow ban and traffic throttled everywhere we post so uh if we want
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the message to get out we need you guys to share it so uh don't be a hoe share the show what's up dj
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what's going on andy what's going on nothing much man yeah yeah you know just uh doing the thing
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what's the thing today um i actually wasn't wasn't much today no thing then no no no no thing just
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we're doing this thing yeah yeah all right we're doing what's going on with you man anything new
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now man what's shaking what's cracking uh what's what's what's crack a lagging i was gonna say
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something else but we can't say it what we gotta save it for cti okay that means that means it was
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likely racist probably maybe uh no man everything's good dude just uh you know like we talked about
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with the michael chandler episode i'm going hard trying to uh get my body finally back from this
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injury that i've had and everything's going good i'm definitely on track and i feel good and just
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just everything's firing man dude how about just such a good genuine good like just good dude yeah
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he's awesome dude i really i was like i mean i i like chad chad wright's always gonna be i think
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he's always gonna hold that number one spot for me man but like fuck man michael chandler made it
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made it hard yeah dude you know what's cool about that too is like like we talked about on the podcast
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you know he comes he has built this it's not this thing that he was naturally gifted at you know like
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he talked about he wrestled 103 in high school right um he was 4 11 and he's built this
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you know like he said brick by boring brick and i think that's an amazing story and i think it's a
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testament to what you can accomplish if you're willing to what we call here master the mundane
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right most people lack the ability to master the mundane tasks they get bored very easily they don't
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feel like doing things they don't understand that to build a life it is mundane it is the same things
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day in and day out operating at a high level holding a high standard executing with discipline
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and um most people just can't do that because they don't have the endurance to do that they don't have
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the fortitude to do that they don't have the perseverance to do that which is why it's important
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for you to build yourself into someone who does that way you can follow the path to success because
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there is only one path and the only path there is is day by day by day by day over the course of a
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period of time so and depending on how big your goals are that could be two years it could be five
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years it could be 10 years it could be 30 years we don't know but at the end of the day it's all built
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the same it's one day at a time one win at a time for life yeah and there is no opportunity if you're
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going to operate at a high level to deviate from that uh really at any time yeah i think the coolest
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thing too man it's like you know it's what you talk about it's the there is an equation for success
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yeah it's very very simple it's time uh or it's it's inputs right but but plus the time variable
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right like and i think the most the the coolest thing is like being able to see people and talk to
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people who who have practiced and actually put in that fucking equation right when you look at a guy
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like mike chandler because he got in the the ufc in what 2020 right and four years later here he is
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fighting the fucking biggest fighter of the fucking sport you could possibly think of
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right and it's like that wasn't luck that wasn't you know anything other than the inputs that he
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put in plus the time right 21 2021 it's three years yeah three years yeah and he's just beating
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people's asses you know what i'm saying like like to me i think that's the coolest thing about that
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dude man it's like it's like that there's a real world uh there's real evidence right there like
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it works it works man i thought that was just man it's crazy to think yeah man any it's just
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you know i feel like after doing this all these years you know people get used to me saying the
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same things over and over and over but that's because there's only so many things right but to
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have someone who's also done something you know built it from the ground up anytime we can bring
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someone on you know like james lawrence or you know uh michael chandler or am i let like these guys
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they confirm what we're talking about and and it's it's it's frustrating to look out into the
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internet world and see all these people trying to shortcut it trying to hack it trying to you know
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supersonic speed their way to success when literally every person they look up to is telling them
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the same way and dude it's just indicative of people's impatience and need for instant gratification
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that they continue to search for some sort of shortcut do you not think that michael jordan or kobe
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bryant or any of these people that you look up to in business or life do you not think that if there
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was another way they would have found it right right like there is only one way these are smart
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hard-working badass motherfuckers bro and i'm telling you right now there is only one way and it's day by
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day by motherfucking day over the course of your life you don't get to do it for five years and then
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never do it again like that's the fallacy right i'm gonna retire at 40 i'm gonna sit on a beach no
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you're not because you don't have the right mentality to get there in the first place if that's what you're
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doing it for you're never gonna get to that point you know oh i'm gonna i'm gonna at 35 i'm never gonna
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have to work again yeah okay let's see that show me that show me that person right that person doesn't
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exist because the people who actually build things it's in their fucking blood these are builders these
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are creators these are contributors these are people that have to have a mission and have to have a
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purpose and that purpose is to build and create and contribute into things that materialize and if you
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are trying to materialize this life against those kinds of people when your whole goal is to get
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to 35 years old and sit on a fucking beach with a corona you're gonna lose okay because these
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motherfuckers are doing it because they love it they're doing it because they're competitive they're
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doing it because they want to change the world you're doing it so you can have a couple coronas and
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fucking riviera maya it's a different kind of want and skill set and dude people just don't
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understand the competitive landscape there's you know people talk about abundance right abundance
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mentality yeah there is abundance mentality but the abundance is shared amongst the most competitive
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most skilled most disciplined people it is not shared with people who do not possess those
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traits and skill sets so yes there's plenty of abundance for hard working discipline high skill
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high drive high work ethic people plenty of abundance that abundance does not spread to you
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if you're not doing any of those things and that's what people think and while i'm on it i want to say
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something else you know i look all over the internet and i see all these people writing about their
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journaling and their coal plunges and they're fucking touching the grass and they're getting in nature and
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the fucking therapy and and all this shit and you know what the problem is with most of you
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motherfuckers it's that you don't have a purpose you don't have a mission and it doesn't matter how
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much therapy you go to it doesn't matter how many coal plunges you do it doesn't matter how much you
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spend grounding it doesn't matter how many months you spend in the van it doesn't matter any of the
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shit that how many journal pages you wrote it's never gonna make you feel good if you're leaving it on
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the table if you're not exercising your potential if you don't have a purpose you don't have a mission
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the reason you feel like shit is because you know that you're letting your potential die on the vine
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you're letting your potential go to waste and that is an underlying condition that's causing you this
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anxiety causing you this stress causing you this uncomfortable place that you're trying to fix with
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all this modern day side and by the way the shit might work okay it might help it might make you
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feel a little bit better but the reality is you need to solve the underlying problem when the underlying
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problem is you're not exercising your potential and for that reason you fucking feel like shit that's
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it yeah so you know maybe maybe instead of journaling some more and coal plunging some more and touching the
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grass some more and fucking whatever the fuck else you guys do maybe you should get the fucking work
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and maybe you should try to build something great and maybe you should try to do something that fucking
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matters and you won't feel like shit all the time oh what love it it's the truth i'm so sick of seeing it dude
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i'm not against any of that shit i'm not against it but so many people are out here trying to optimize
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and what are you trying to optimize you don't do anything so what's what's five times zero zero
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okay so if you go out and you do five self-care things and then you're leaving your potential on
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the on the table as a zero that means you're going zero yeah there's no multiplier yes yeah like fuck bro
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we're here to create we're here to live we're here to build we're here to contribute that can look a lot
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of different ways for a lot of different people it doesn't mean build a business it doesn't mean
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it means doing your fucking best and leaving none of your potential on the table and dude if you
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don't do that guess what you're gonna feel like shit it's just reality it's real shit man that's
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real uh only thing i would ask bro is like next time just make sure you give me a heads up when
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doing the math math questions why you know that shit can get me sometimes yeah well everything times
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zero zero that's true yeah i thought about that quick i'm like fuck yeah all right yeah sweet man
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well uh i got some good ones for you man let's keep this heat moving uh guys andy question number
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one uh hey andy just wanted to say i love your content i came across your stuff on facebook and
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tiktok and start listening to your podcast my question for you is i want to start a business
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in my trade i've been a machinist for the last 15 years and i want to open my own shop how does a
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person like me that is barely uh scraping by do that i've heard many times in this trade that you
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have to have money to make money um i feel that's a bunch of bullshit but i could be wrong i don't know
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jack shit about opening a business and only have a little knowledge on how to run it properly i thought
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a few times about just running something small out of my garage and then eventually working my way up
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the ladder what are your thoughts on this first time getting going very simple one bring your
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lifestyle way down okay whatever your lifestyle is if you're serious about starting a business and
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you're serious about building a business sell your fucking house sell your fucking nice car sell all
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your luxuries and downsize into something that you can tolerate not that something that is ideal okay
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that's number one two work to save as much money as you can all that money you're paying over here
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work to fucking build some capital three you're on the right track start out small start in your garage
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a lot of people go out and they try to borrow money or they try to have this nice shop with their name
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on the door and their business that ain't business bro that's called playing business business is actually
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doing work and trading a good or a service or information for people's money okay it doesn't
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matter how nice your office is it doesn't matter how cool your business card is and a lot of people
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get caught up in that shit they think that's what matters it doesn't fucking matter at all it's a zero
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factor okay you need to do good work and you need it you need to exceed customers expectations and allow
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the word of mouth of your service of your good of your product to spread all right so those are the
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three first steps after you start the cash flow after you start to make more money from doing this
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small in your garage which you've already figured out then you're going to start to make investments
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you're going to continue to save money you're going to you're going to continue to take the money that
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you make and you're going to invest it into more equipment you're going to invest it into more
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resources to to produce more goods you're going to invest it in all the things that make a business
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run this is totally doable lots of people do this but most people do not have the dedication to
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actually execute it because they refuse to make the cuts in their lifestyle so they would rather live
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a a slightly above mediocre lifestyle and not have a business than they were are to take a step
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back humble themselves maybe look a little silly to their friends and family and just start the
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business but you're going to get the last laugh because in 10 years you're going to have a machine
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shop that's doing that's kicking ass let's do it and by the way you're going to be doing what you want
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you're going to you're going to be building things you're going to be creating things i imagine you
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like to work with your hands so this is this is how you do these things you take a step backwards and by the
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way you might not be able to sell your house but my point is downsize your life downsize your financial
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commitments take that money invest it into what you're doing as you make more money continue to
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live as small as you can for as long as you can as long as you can okay don't be the fucking internet
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dumbass who goes out and tries to buy a fucking lamborghini after two years so he could show off on the
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internet okay be the guy who like me lives well below his means for the first 10 years in business
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okay does everything at the lowest possible denominator of cost all right which will allow
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you to scale your business a lot of people when they hear my story and i talk about how the first
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seven or the first three years we made no money the next seven years we made 695 a month
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for a grand total of 58 000 for 10 years right combined they hear that and they say holy shit
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dude how did you endure that how did you get because man i wanted to scale and i didn't have
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any financial resources and now here we are a company that does hundreds and hundreds and hundreds
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of millions of dollars in sales and we don't have any debt you know why we don't have any debt
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because i learned to operate on our own cash flow long ago and the way that we got to this
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was we were able to when we started making money see people hear oh 10 years but what they don't
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realize is that like six years in we were making money and we just kept all that money in the business
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and continue to live below our means over the course of the next four years right until we got to be
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a little bit older and we were making quite a bit more money and then we started you know doing some
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things and then when we started doing really well you know our lifestyle increased and you'll know
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when that point is but the point is you should be going this is how you know these these entrepreneurs
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on the internet are fucking dumbasses because they start a business and the next thing you know you see
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them driving a lamborghini urus suv which is the biggest fucking poser car on the fucking planet if you
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have one you should fucking sell it because you look like a fucking clown okay so the reality is they
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go out and buy this shit so they can pretend to be successful and they're cutting their fucking nose
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off to spite their face they want people to think they're successful but their business isn't actually
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growing at the rate that it should be and they think that fake it till you make it means look the part of
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success and so people believe that fake it till you make it doesn't have anything to do with other
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people it has to do with this pretend you're already that successful person and then emulate their
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behaviors how does the hundred millionaire how does the billionaire live their life for real how do
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they do it what do they do what's their systems of operation how do they run their life so you how do they
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treat people how you fake that right that's not you you behave that way and then it becomes you that's
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what people don't get when you want to change your life bro you can change it today you can become a
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different person today by changing your behaviors today now the results of those behavioral changes
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take time to materialize in reality for everybody to recognize but as long as you're not behaving like
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that fat piece of shit from fucking the last six years you're a different motherfucker today you see
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what i'm saying so it's adopt the behavior not adopt the lifestyle and when we talk about fake it till
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you make it so many people misunderstand what that means that doesn't mean what people think it means
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and sell your fucking urus holy shit wasn't it uh what was it apple or microsoft that also started
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in the garage was an apple yeah lots of companies did bro lots of companies and i think people just
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like they will hear that or they see that they don't understand like that's what the real sacrifice
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looks like that's what real success first form started my garage yeah started my garage i used to drive
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so we had a deal with a manufacturer to consult and then at when we consulted with them then they
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started to uh that deal fell through we had made an agreement for them to make product they allowed
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us to make small little runs i used to pick it up with scott halsey in the back of our fucking pickup
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trucks we didn't have a warehouse all we had was the we had uh like 10 or 11 stores at the time and
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uh we we go put it in my garage and then as the stores needed we would distribute it through from
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i would distribute it scott would distribute it he would take half the stores i would take half the
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stores we'd put the shit in the back of the pickup truck we'd drive it to the stores as needed right
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and when we started doing that bro each store we need like two cases which is fucking six six bottles
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of protein so or it's 12 right so the a lot of people start like this and and dude it just it's
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a very simple equation downgrade your lifestyle increase your available cash make the investments
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that you need to make to start small do a great job make a great product over serve the customer to
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the point where they're talking about it and they're spreading the word and then scale up as you go and you
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make more money and that's how you do it and then live small for as long as you can i love it i love
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that man guys uh any question number two hey andy and dj uh i'm 23 years old and i am number nine of 12
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kids in my family damn yeah shit that's a big family like to do it
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i'm also married to plant some fucking seeds yeah he's a farmer i'm also married to my perfect girl
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the whole time we dated in high school she liked me because i was sweet forgiving and patient
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i think growing up as number nine i was often overlooked and forgotten so i was never very
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confident and thus became sweet and easy to forgive because i was afraid to speak my mind
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that being said i've been listening to your podcast for a little over a year and i loved it instantly
00:22:10.940
i've been trying to develop the fuck you mentality for the past six months or so looking back the last
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six months as i've been more assertive and stern um in saying what i mean i've noticed myself being
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much more pissed off easily annoyed and honestly being a dick to everyone around me unfortunately that
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has unconsciously included my sweet wife who loved me and married me for being sweet loving
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and non-judgmental um i took a deep look at myself this past sunday and realized i really want to be
00:22:41.420
that alpha guy who speaks his mind whenever i enter a room but i can't find the right way to do it
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without ruining relationships around me after realizing this i talked to my wife and she started crying
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saying that she has missed the real me and she still loves me but i'm not the same man she married
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and not in a good way so my question is how can i remain patient loving forgiving and kind
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while still speaking my mind in a stern manner i want to be that alpha guy but still be gentle to
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my loved ones first of all congratulations on your wife and you sounds like you have a great family it
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sounds like you're a really good dude there's nothing wrong with that no like what's if it ain't broke
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don't fix it bro like and just because you have an idea of what alpha is alpha is not running around
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just because i have an aggressive disposition does not mean that you have to adopt that that's just
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who i am i'm that's my authentic self and by the way i think if you ask the people around me
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how i am most of the time most time pretty fucking nice bro you got the biggest heart i've ever known
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yeah so like dude this is you have to retrain what you think alpha is there's a lot of fake alpha fucks
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on the internet who call them first of all if anybody calls themselves alpha they're not alpha
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okay second of all yeah it's true um so you got to understand alpha is not about being a dick alpha
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is not about being mean it's not about saying curse words it's not about any of that dude alpha is about
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being a man standing up for what's right telling the truth protecting the people around you providing
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for the people around you and being kind and being caring and then having a having some boundaries
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when people step on your toes you might have to stomp on somebody's throat okay so that part of it
00:24:29.240
is little one percent of your life right and you have to you have to understand we're fed especially
00:24:36.200
someone who feels like hey man i'm trying to figure this out right we're fed this idea of alpha male
00:24:41.960
alpha male that is isn't real right alpha male is like my brother okay who treats his family really
00:24:49.700
good who handles his business who takes care of everybody around him and yeah sometimes he'll
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fucking let you know when you're fucking up but isn't that real love isn't real kindness telling
00:25:01.080
someone when they're stepping in the wrong hole or they're fucking their life up and being honest
00:25:05.520
about it because being kind and loving doesn't mean letting people mess up their lives it means hey
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man this ain't cool that's not good it's holding a standard and so when you think of like what alpha
00:25:17.960
means brother that doesn't mean you got to change your whole personality dude in fact it sounds like you
00:25:23.780
got a great personality and it sounds like you got a great wife so you know let's let's keep in mind
00:25:29.380
here what what true alpha is is being your authentic self man and then you know it sounds like what
00:25:36.140
you're struggling with is that you don't have a boundary okay and so what you need to work on is
00:25:42.140
and the only change you need to make here i wouldn't change my personality you don't have to be a dick you
00:25:48.020
don't have to just go out of your way to let people know you know that you're an alpha that's not what
00:25:54.260
we're talking about what we're talking about is being prepared when someone steps on your toes
00:25:59.800
what does that look like for you and i bet for your most of your life you kind of just say oh it's no
00:26:05.180
big deal and you brush it off and i bet because you know it's wrong and it's violating your own
00:26:10.720
integrity with yourself it's lowered your self-esteem and it's lowered your confidence and the reason
00:26:15.960
you're struggling with confidence is because you know that there are things that happen to you that
00:26:21.400
you are not okay with that you pretend to be okay with and you have to understand that it is 100
00:26:26.400
okay to let people know when you are not okay with things that's just called communication and
00:26:33.760
when you have a boundary and you do all the other stuff i talked about that's what makes you an alpha
00:26:38.720
dude alpha is not one of these dudes and it fucks me it fucks me up because i know a lot of you guys
00:26:45.000
like you you hear me talk and you know i got a beard i got scars and i got tattoos and you
00:26:51.380
like oh and yo bro that's not that's that has nothing to do with it that's not that's just
00:26:56.160
handling my business you know i'm saying that's just being me and i'm an authentic human being
00:27:00.780
and and dude i think being authentic and just you know having boundaries and being kind and being
00:27:09.340
respectful having manner bro there's nothing more alpha than having manners you know what i'm saying
00:27:15.020
and treating people right there's nothing more alpha than that so like dude look man
00:27:20.040
i feel what you're saying but don't try to emulate someone else just identify the little problem that
00:27:26.620
you have which it sounds like is just boundaries start holding that boundary when necessary and even
00:27:31.380
when you hold the boundary it doesn't mean you have to be an asshole now if they escalate it you can be
00:27:35.960
but you don't have to be in fact some of the ways to enforce boundaries are very simple very calm
00:27:41.160
very very very simple hey i don't like that man you're supposed to be my friend friends don't do
00:27:48.700
that you see what i'm saying very easy yeah and that sticks with people a lot more than screaming
00:27:54.660
at them you know yeah so bro it sounds like you're doing good man and it sounds like you're just
00:28:00.400
reading too much into it and i think you i think your wife is right you know you need to pull back a
00:28:04.540
little bit and just realize your problem is letting people do things that you don't agree with
00:28:09.060
and then pretending like you agree with them that's what's hurting your confidence and if you
00:28:13.380
just fix that little aspect of it you're going to feel a lot better and you won't feel so guilty
00:28:17.000
about the way that you're behaving yeah i think jordan i love that man i think jordan peterson also
00:28:21.700
said something on this it's like you know somebody asked him like oh you know being a man that means
00:28:25.440
you have to be violent he's like no you have to be capable yeah that's right yeah that's all it is
00:28:30.220
yeah right and so like you don't have to walk around ready to fucking you know kill everybody no but
00:28:35.500
but you have to be capable of it yeah for sure yeah right and i think that's ultimately what it
00:28:39.520
comes down to man like that's a that's a big deal and dude there's so much like i see these reels and
00:28:43.860
shit on instagram of like you know bro oh my god fuck out of here like dude let me get my man bun
00:28:50.860
i'm gonna fucking you know grow my beard like come on man it's like i saw this one last night
00:28:55.420
like i see this one all the time and it just irritates the shit out of me
00:28:59.300
i'm gonna make moves in silence real real bosses make moves in silence you realize
00:29:06.340
that you're putting this on the internet right which makes it not silent yeah it's not silent
00:29:11.280
at all and and by the way if you were actually making moves the results would tell the story
00:29:16.760
yeah but you're not making any moves you're just trying to tell people you're going to make moves
00:29:21.040
so you could feel good right now yeah when in reality what you need to do is let your results do
00:29:26.320
the talking stop talking about all these moves you're not making and stop embarrassing yourself
00:29:31.120
saying i'm going to do this i'm going to do that i'm going to make these moves you'll never see
00:29:34.440
what's coming i got and never nothing ever happens you look like a fucking idiot okay so stop making
00:29:41.120
yourself look like an idiot shut the fuck up and go build something and then come back and say all
00:29:46.020
right i made some moves inside god dude i get so tired of these young kids saying this dumb shit
00:29:53.260
yeah you're fucking 20 years old you don't know shit about life you shouldn't be life coaching
00:30:01.720
oh i'm fucking i'm i'm life coach i'm gonna teach you how to make moves in silence fuck up
00:30:09.260
go fucking build something dude and what they don't understand is they're going to ruin their
00:30:14.960
reputation and then they're not going to be able to build anything real but what the fuck do i know
00:30:20.060
you know yep i'm just a podcaster and a youtuber
00:30:23.500
uh i love it man the guys andy our third and final question question number three andy uh in
00:30:30.760
the last fucking 22 years old dude will fucking make seven million dollars and fucking every week
00:30:36.700
from my basement yeah let's fucking drive a lamborghini urus who moves in silence yeah do it all
00:30:43.020
in silence fuck out of here so fucking sick of these fucking clowns dude i do it all in silence
00:30:50.860
oh man all right guys andy question number three uh andy uh andy in the last four years i've lost my
00:31:00.760
dad my sister and cousin to suicide i'm no stranger to depression and i'm having struggles of my own i feel
00:31:07.640
like depression might get me unless i find the strength to get back on track i have a wife four
00:31:13.440
amazing kids and a high-paying job and i still find myself in dark mental struggles from time to time
00:31:18.860
my question is do you still have times of mental darkness even though you have amazing things in
00:31:25.600
your life and how do you get yourself back on track when you're not in a good place mentally
00:31:29.640
man this is a tough question to answer because everybody's so different in what they struggle and how
00:31:36.140
they struggle and what their internal dialogue is and while i believe that therapy has become very
00:31:42.720
predatory i believe in certain cases there is a need to talk to someone and kind of work through
00:31:49.140
what the root cause is with the understanding that you're not going to talk to them for fucking ever
00:31:53.760
right okay if they start trying to get you there for the next seven years they're just milking you
00:31:58.220
for money there's a lot of predatory shit about therapy all right they try to talk get you to talk
00:32:03.440
about and focus on your problems so hard that your problems actually just stay at the forefront of
00:32:08.880
your mind which makes you more miserable than what you would actually be okay so there's that too
00:32:14.500
stop focusing so hard on how bad you feel and start focusing on what your mission is in life
00:32:20.900
what's your purpose what are you trying to build what are you trying to create who are you trying to
00:32:25.280
become and when you take that focus off of all your problems and you start focusing on moving
00:32:29.620
forward this turns the noise down on on how bad this seems to be okay when you look at a problem
00:32:36.460
and you stare at a problem and you get obsessed with the problem and this is what a lot of these
00:32:40.140
people do with the self-care right they're trying to eliminate all problems from their life they call
00:32:45.640
it optimization they're trying to eliminate all anxiety from their life let me tell you something
00:32:51.780
and save you years and years and years and years because i went through this myself
00:32:55.400
you cannot eliminate all the anxiety from your life anxiety serves a purpose in your life and that
00:33:02.260
purpose is to remind you when something needs to be addressed that you're not addressing okay now can
00:33:07.240
anxiety become overwhelming sure it can but guess what cures anxiety action towards the thing that you
00:33:14.260
know needs to be done so my question to you would be what is it that you think needs to be done what is it
00:33:20.640
that you are putting off what is it that you are afraid of what is it that you are thinking about
00:33:26.240
doing that you're not doing what do you know you should be doing that you're not doing that's where
00:33:30.800
you're going to find the answer of the direction that you need to go to move away from this place of
00:33:35.420
constant focus and constant dwelling on your depression so that you could turn the volume down on that
00:33:43.100
okay that's the first thing the second thing is bro there are medications for this and i think that
00:33:49.620
i think that there is um i think that these things are way over prescribed i think they're over prescribed
00:33:56.380
by 95 percent but there's situations where they're appropriate and you need to talk to someone who's got
00:34:03.000
a reasonable mind who uses common sense to decide if that's an option for you and i don't like to
00:34:08.220
recommend that you guys all know how i feel about those things but there's still a purpose for these
00:34:13.540
things in some cases okay but my opinion on this with all that being said is that we live in this
00:34:22.560
culture right now of victimhood we live in this culture where everywhere we turn and everywhere we
00:34:28.860
look on the internet we see people talking about mental health we see people talking about their
00:34:33.980
depression their anxiety their frustration their stress their negativity etc etc bro when you surround
00:34:42.360
yourself with that it's like swimming in a swimming pool full of negativity all right and when you look
00:34:49.140
around and all you can see is people that are talking about how fucked up they are your natural reaction
00:34:54.780
is to start looking at yourself and say well fuck what's fucked up about me right which is okay if you
00:35:00.520
look at it and you say all right i could improve here i could get in a little better shape i could
00:35:05.060
treat people a little nicer i could do more productive things i could read a little more i could do a better
00:35:09.660
job at my career that's okay but when you start analyzing yourself so deep and looking for problems
00:35:16.700
guess what's gonna happen you're gonna fucking find them because every single one of us has a past
00:35:22.820
every single one of us has things that we regret every single one of us has situations that have
00:35:28.360
happened to us every single one of us has things that bother us from our past and when we constantly
00:35:34.980
dwell and we constantly focus and we get obsessed with those things and we start telling ourselves
00:35:39.860
this story well i can't feel good because this happened to me or i can't feel good because of that
00:35:45.060
happened to me well that happened to you bro how the fuck can you change that guess what you can't
00:35:51.640
so what you have to do is you have to come to terms with the reality of what has happened
00:35:56.700
and you have to give yourself some grace you have to forgive yourself you have to let yourself
00:36:01.720
understand that thing that happened to me wow it wasn't ideal and it wasn't great and it was very
00:36:07.940
painful and i might have handled it wrong i learned a lesson from it and by the way then after you learn
00:36:13.980
your lesson you move forward and don't do the same shit again all right and if it's something that
00:36:19.020
happened to you what did you learn if it was something out of your control what did you learn
00:36:23.780
i got stabbed in the fucking face bro my whole face is fucked up okay i got one here here all the
00:36:30.160
way across here and in my back all right i could have lived my whole life saying fuck dude i got stabbed
00:36:37.080
in the fucking face i can't do anything everybody looks at me weird you know to this day people come
00:36:42.660
up to me they're like fuck dude what happened to you right it's been 20 years 21 years since it
00:36:47.480
happened all right i've lived my most of my life with that in my life i would have been it would have been
00:36:52.800
very easy for me to say that traumatic event happened to me but i couldn't do anything instead
00:36:58.080
i said hey that traumatic event happened to me and because of that people remember me i'm memorable
00:37:04.180
and i'm going to leverage that into building the life that i want and here the fuck i am
00:37:08.500
okay so we have the power to change the perspective about the events that have happened to us and either
00:37:14.920
use them for us or against us there's a famous story about a man who was an alcoholic and he had two sons
00:37:22.380
one son grew up to be an alcoholic they asked him why are you an alcoholic and he said well that's
00:37:30.380
what i learned because my dad was an alcoholic the other son never drank a drink in his whole life
00:37:36.100
and they said how come you never drank and he said because my dad was an alcoholic okay and that's what
00:37:41.780
we get to choose when hard things happen to us when they were out of our control now if it's you that
00:37:46.060
did the hard thing you have to learn a lesson you have to forgive yourself and you have to move
00:37:50.600
forward how do you forgive yourself it's very simple okay how would you talk to your friend
00:37:57.400
if your best friend came to you and said hey dj fuck man i fucking did this i did that i fucked this
00:38:06.020
up what would you say to your friend you would say something like this bro come on dude like everybody
00:38:13.000
fucks up yeah right yeah that's not good you shouldn't do that again but everybody has something
00:38:20.340
like that dude so like just into the fucking world yeah just don't do it again and move forward bro
00:38:26.140
and that that helps you get rid of the shame get rid of the guilt and get rid of the weight that
00:38:31.340
you're carrying which causes all of this negative feeling right so uh and then on top of it dude you
00:38:38.600
know you need to get yourself in the best mental shape possible you know so like doing something
00:38:43.500
like live hard or 75 hard is a great idea for you because it's going to get your mind right it's
00:38:48.860
going to get your body right it's going to get you feeling great about yourself it's going to build
00:38:52.920
trust with yourself it's going to build confidence grit fortitude self-belief self-esteem the ability
00:38:58.980
to endure and when you can follow through on the things that you set out to do when you say hey i'm
00:39:05.100
going to do this and then you can go do it without any hesitation bro you believe in yourself you
00:39:10.940
trust yourself you start to love yourself and you say damn dude i'm a bad motherfucker okay and guess
00:39:17.080
what happens to your confidence it goes up all right so yeah dude i do struggle with these things but
00:39:23.440
i've also learned how to manage them and how to move through them and how to manage them and move through
00:39:29.180
them is by getting everything else in order and by focusing on what my mission is what my
00:39:34.920
purpose is executing against that and then making sure that i'm doing all the things that i know i
00:39:40.420
need to do to move me forward and by the way if you're doing all those things and you're focused on
00:39:45.600
your mission and you're focused on your health and you're focused on improving and you're focused on
00:39:50.200
moving forward and you're focused on moving your body and all these things bro you don't got time to
00:39:55.460
worry about your fucking past okay so uh yeah that's that's what i would say bro i think it's a normal
00:40:03.140
thing that people struggle with i think it's way overblown and way over exaggerated because of the
00:40:07.980
culture that we live in you know in the fucking 1990s bro nobody was talking about this no nobody
00:40:13.520
came out and said you know oh i need a mental health day you know what i'm saying like dude it's way
00:40:19.040
it's way overblown and the reason that it's way overblown now has a lot to do with how society is
00:40:26.420
in the 90s there was no internet so you know what people had to do they had to go fucking work
00:40:31.640
okay or they starved now we have a situation where people can stay home they can scroll all day
00:40:37.980
they can get a check from the government they could fuck and bro that removes their entire mission their
00:40:43.540
entire purpose in life and just like i was talking earlier if you don't exercise or or or draw out
00:40:51.020
the potential in yourself you are going to feel depressed you're going to feel anxious because you
00:40:58.340
know in your heart that you are leaving everything that you could potentially do and potentially become
00:41:04.020
on the table and that is going to bother you that is going to fucking make you feel depressed that is
00:41:08.980
going to make you feel dark so what is it you're trying to do what is your mission what kind of shape
00:41:15.120
are you in how do you eat how do you train what are you reading what's your environment like are you
00:41:20.860
spending all this time scrolling or are you spending time moving forward all right so those are the
00:41:26.960
things that that you can do to manage it and by the way um you know i i think it's if we're getting
00:41:33.820
down to to brass tacks here i think it's as simple like and people are going to hate that i say this but
00:41:39.320
i think it's as simple as this look around at all these soft motherfuckers crying about their lives
00:41:45.240
and realize that you don't want to be one of them yeah you know what i'm saying when i look around
00:41:49.940
at all these people crying about their fucking sad story when honestly they haven't had shit happen to
00:41:56.060
them right you never hear the people who've had real shit complaining about their lives you've
00:42:01.240
never had the burn victim complaining you never heard the the physically deformed person complaining
00:42:06.480
you never heard the guy who lost an arm or a leg complaining all you hear is a bunch of fucking
00:42:11.840
pussies complaining about basic shit that's called life and when i look around and i see all that shit
00:42:17.800
bro it just makes me not want to be like them so i'm like fuck that i'm not doing that i'm not a
00:42:22.780
victim i'm not a bitch i'm not a pussy i'm gonna go fucking do this no matter how i feel and that
00:42:27.960
fixes the problem for me yeah okay that's real shit man i love it yeah i fucking love it well guys
00:42:34.200
that was three yeah don't be a hoe show the show
00:42:38.760
yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions
00:42:46.260
in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case close